sylvia报道！3.30二战求入队！！！

sylviazhang

Mar. 8th
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

过去人吃的食物比现在人的更健康


Some people may claim that, with the abundant science research on food and health care, we generally have a deeper understanding of what to eat and not to, thus people are eating healthier food nowadays. While it is true that there have been great advancement in food research, whether it has directly led to a healthier diet is left to discuss. In fact, people are exploring to more chances of eating unhealthier food.


First, the ubiquitous supplants in nearly all kinds of food. The pervasive use of supplants has come to such an extent that we almost be unaware of their existence. Let’s take an example, a common can of tuna can contain up to a decade of extra ingredients, with some of which aims at making the food looks more tempted while others preserve it to last for a long period. Whereas each single piece of these foods may be quite safe to use, the amount of them being taken altogether is worth questioning. Since most of the ingredients contains plentiful chemicals and salt which will aggregate the operation of our organs, the natural food of past is healthier.


Next, due to the fact that the living standard of people nowadays have elevated largely, we are actually having a richer and oilier diet of meals, thereby negatively affect our fitness. Some of the analysis data can prove this opinion that in China, the obesity rate among teenagers has risen 7.6% since 1990s. A meal includes pork, beef and chicken may considered as a rich meal in the past, that only be treated on important dates, whereas in today it may just be regarded as a common daily dinner. In view of that, such high resin-contained diets will deteriorate people’s health.


Finally, the technological force used in the food nowadays is also by no means to be neglected. The disputes on transformed-organic food have never stopped concerning its possible detrimental effects will not be shown in short-period. What’s more, many of the products, which advertized to add extra “favorable mineral”, have been proved to be deceptive or even harmful to human body, think the notorious “Sanlu” milk powder as an example, which initially contrived to upgrade the protein level in infantile milk while in the end result in the deform of infantile development.


In the recognition above, the prevailing use of food supplements, the richer diets now people have, and the improper use of technology to transform the nature of food itself have all led to a more dangerous eating environment now people have. (424)

lihaolan

Some people may claim that, with the abundant science researches on food and health care, we generally have a deeper understanding of what to eat and not to, thus people are eating healthier food nowadays. While it is true that there have been great advancement in food research, whether it has directly led to a healthier diet is left to discuss. In fact, people are exploring to( are exposed to) more chances of eating unhealthier food.


First, the ubiquitous supplants(food addictive) in nearly all kinds of food. The pervasive use of supplants has come to such an extent that we almost be unaware of their existence. Let’s take an example, a common can of tuna can contain up to a decade of（没有这样表达的。。。） extra ingredients, with some of which aims（aim） at making the food looks more tempted while others preserve it to last for a long period. Whereas（但是一些吃的安全？用让步吧although） each single piece of these foods may be quite safe to use, the amount of them being taken altogether is worth questioning. Since most of the ingredients contains plentiful chemicals and salt which will aggregate the operation of our organs(聚集？器官运行？), the natural food of past is healthier.


Next, due to the fact that the living standard of people nowadays have(has) elevated largely, we are actually having a richer and oilier diet of meals, thereby negatively affects our fitness. Some of the analysis data can prove this opinion that in China, the obesity rate among teenagers has risen 7.6% since 1990s. A meal includes(including) pork, beef and chicken may be considered as a rich meal in the past, that(which) only be treated on important dates, whereas in today it may just be regarded as a common daily dinner. In view of that, such high resin-contained（resin树脂？cholesterol） diets will deteriorate people’s health.


Finally, the technological force used in the food nowadays is also by no means to be neglected. The disputes on transformed-organic（转基因，genetically modified food） food have never stopped concerning its possible detrimental effects will not be shown in short-period. What’s more, many of the products, which advertized（are advertised） to add extra “favorable mineral”, have been proved to be deceptive or even harmful to human body,.think（take）the notorious “Sanlu” milk powder as an example, which initially contrived to upgrade the protein level in infantile milk while in the end result in the deform of infantile development.


In the recognition above, the prevailing use of food supplements, the richer diets now people have, and the improper use of technology to transform the nature of food itself have all led to a more dangerous eating environment now people have.

写的挺好，最好再自然些就更好了。语法基础要牢固，再最求词汇，语法的多样

sylviazhang

Mar10 th
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Most people often let others make decisions for them rather than
make decisions by themselves.

Some people might claim that people are severely depend on others to make decisions for them, from minor to rather vital. Especially those who have got a procrastinating nature, making decisions on their own seems to be unbearable suffering. While such phenomenon may looks like so, but in fact, the ones who has got the ultimate saying, is usually ourselves.

First, let’s take a look at the decisions that are generally at a simple level, or the influence of which are usually short-termed. Say you are shopping at a boutique and suddenly, two glorious pairs of shoes bumped into your eyes, and thus, here comes the problem: you cannot decide which one to buy. So you ask your friend for advice. And your friend, accordingly, give you some suggestions about why one overrides the other. And in turn you add something else to retort the suggestion by pointing out the advantages of the unpicked one. And this back-and-forth continues until you finally give up the suffering deciding process and picked up the one pair----actually, you already got this answer long ago. You are just trying to convince more of yourself by inquiring others.

Next, let’s take a more complicated deciding problem, but basically, the principle is the same---you want to strengthen the rightfulness of your decision by get answers from other people. For an instance, you are going to university next year but you are not sure which major you would like to choose. So you ask your friends, you parents, you relatives, you teachers, even you neighbors for advice---anyone that is willing to offer you a suggestion, regardless of whether they are eligible or not. And finally, after collecting enough information and sorting out the data and burying yourself in complete loss and uncertainty, you quit by choosing the one that you initially deicide to enroll in.

Such cases are quite common in our daily life, upon facing an unknown decision, we are afraid of the might-be detrimental effects it may bring out and thereby reluctant to face it---to make a decision about how to solve it. But deep in our mind, either conscious or unconscious, we have our answers about it. Because we , and only we ourselves, are the ones who know us best. We know best about which dress suits us more, which job offer favors us more, or which one loves us more. By questioning others for the decision, we are simply using a technique to clarify what we want most---if other people’s suggestion contradicts ours, we defend it, and vice versa.

As what has been put before, “Every man is an island”, which implies that we are the ones who master our life, and make decisions for our own, though sometimes it may not seem to be so.
(469)

sylviazhang

11 March
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
看电视比看书学的多。

Some people may well claim that they can learn more from books since they are more profound, while others disprove that and regard TV programs as more resourceful way of learning because they are more vivid. The fact is that either considering books as more profound or TV programs as more vivid are over-simplified the real conditions in both of them. The core is how we absorb the information we have got.

First, let’s take a look at those programs and books which are assumed to be more “serious”, like scientific or social documentary programs, whose counterpart may be those non-fiction books. While the TV programs provided us with the most vivid and up-to-date information about a new discovery in space endeavor, the scientific books can contain the same amount of information but in different ways---that is, with more words and illustrations to coherently tell us the progress of the discovery. Both source of information are quite inspired and sufficient and we can learn a lot from both of them.

Next, let’s take about the more “shallow” genre, maybe just pick up the most typical one of each—i.e., the reality talent show and those self-motivational books. Both aim at pursing the dream of one’s life but be shown in different forms---the reality show has actually show the “striving process” of one chasing a dream and conquering those impediments, while the books have concluded them into stories and principles and way of solution. Both can encourage our inner passion and stimulate us to strive for a higher goal. Thus, we can also get as much learning from books as from TV programs.

Finally, let’s have a look at those TV programs and books concerning on history---some people may argue that due to the relatively short history of TV programs, which last only for a century compared to the thousands years of history of books, sure we get more from books. However, this may not be case either. Let’s take a new example, an issue about exploring the ancient tombs in a recently-found historical site in China. The TV program can impressively record the adventure that the scientists are taking, how they scrawl into the tomb, what mysterious phenomenon they encounter, what conclusions they draw, etc. On the other side, the books can not only sort out all the information that have happened, but also offer extra knowledge about the history of the tombs, its relation with other discovered ones, how in history the tomb may form, which give us more background information about the science discovery and help us better understand what is going on. Thus, if we can combine these two channels of resources together, we will be benefitted most.

In conclusion, either TV programs or books, are the creation of our human wisdom, thus they are both fruitful in equipping us with useful knowledge and skills. What only matters is that if we know how to properly make use of them. (497)

lihaolan

Some people might claim that people are severely depend on others to make decisions for them, from minor to rather vital. Especially those who have got a procrastinating nature, making decisions on their own seems to be unbearable suffering. While such phenomenon may looks like so, but(yet) in fact, the ones(people) who has(have) got the ultimate saying, is usually ourselves.

First, let’s take a look at the decisions that are generally at a simple level, or the influence of which are usually short-termed. Say you are shopping at a boutique and ,suddenly, two glorious pairs of shoes bumped(时态) into your eyes, and（两个and这句话。最好再起一句） thus, here comes the problem: you cannot decide which one to buy. So you ask your friend for advice. And your friend, accordingly, gives you some suggestions about why one overrides the other. And in turn you add something else to retort the suggestion by pointing out the advantages of the unpicked one. And this back-and-forth continues until you finally give up（end）the suffering deciding process and picked up the one pair----actually, you has already got this answer long ago. You are just trying to convince more of yourself（convince是及物在主动时态）by inquiring others.

Next, let’s take a more complicated deciding problem, but basically, the principle is the same---you want to strengthen the rightfulness of your decision by get answers from other people. For an instance, you are going to university next year but you are not sure which major you would like to choose. So you ask your friends, you parents, you relatives, you teachers, even you neighbors for advice---anyone that is willing to offer you a suggestion, regardless of whether they are eligible or not. And finally, after collecting enough information and sorting out the data and（两个and不行） burying yourself in complete loss and uncertainty, you quit by choosing the one that you initially deicide to enroll in.（quit by choosing？离开以。。。方式有点不是很通顺。）

Such cases are quite common in our daily life, upon facing an unknown decision, we are afraid of the might-be detrimental effects it may bring out and thereby reluctant to face it---to make a decision about how to solve it. But deep in our mind, either conscious or unconscious, we have our answers about it，because we, and only we ourselves, are the ones who know us best. We know best about which dress suits us more, which job offer favors us more, or which one loves us more. By questioning others for the decision, we are simply using a technique to clarify what we want most---if other people’s suggestion contradicts ours, we defend it, and vice versa.

As what has been put before, “Every man is an island”, which implies that we are the ones who master our life, and make decisions for our own, though sometimes it may not seem to be so.

有些地方语法错误注意下以及表达的恰当性。很擅长使用插入语，挺好。如果能按时完成这么多字数的文章很了不起

sylviazhang

谢谢，是30min完成的，另外你点评的时候能顺便把日期和题目也复制一下吗~方便我以后整理，再次感谢！
另外所以我们就这么改下去了？

sylviazhang

12 March
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Because people are too busy doing many things，they can do few things well.

Some people may claim that multi-tasking is a strong proof of one’s capability, and thus, people should exert themselves to obtain a busy schedule and do as many work as possible. But, what is the quality of each task then? For most of the time, it can hardly be called satisfactory. Thus, it is more favorable for people to just focus on few things and do them well.

First, let’s take a look at the studying aspect. Some students, bright and young, yet ambitious or aggressive, try to take a double major in university. And what’s the result of that then? For most of the cases, they end up in quitting one. And rarely of the time, may few of the most assiduous ones accomplish both, yet with a rather suffering experience and a secondary-most GPA. Drawing on one of my friend’s experience, he studied journalism plus with law so as to, in his words, “intensify his strength in job market”. Most of the time we see him busy in and out of the library and write papers one after another. He is also the one who gets up the earliest and go to bed the latest. Worst of all, we can barely see him laughing. What we talk most is his complaints about the heavy study. So after one year, he quitted his minor. It is not because he is not working hard, it is simply because he has not got so much time and energy to study both of them well.

Next, let’s look at the situation at work place. An employee who wants to do everything well may ends up doing nothing fruitful. For example, a young man who just starts his career as an accountant wants to achieve more by taking another degree part-time. But the case is that, he has already got a busy working schedule which requires him to work late regularly, while at the same time, he needs to catch up the lessons that have been taught at weekends. As a result, he can neither focus on his work nor on his study since most of time he is rather sleepy, due to lack of enough rest. In that case, what he has expected, say a promotion, may turn to be a layoff.

Such cases are also quite prevalent in life. The term “middle-aged crisis” is drawn from those middle-aged men and women who just try to too many things, far too beyond their range of ability.

Actually, since when has multi-tasking and being busy become something boastful, that everyone would like to be labeled as such? ---take a look at our ancestors, who were rarely spending their time on actually “doing” something. For most of time, they may well spend a whole day observing the flowers in the garden, or fishing, or elaborating on appreciating the artifacts, and yet had achieved such glorious works, either scientifically or aesthetically. Since when have we forgotten about the elegance of being free? Some may well blame that cases are different nowadays, since we are living in a more competitive society, but still, you have got a chance to choose your way of life.
(529,超了一分钟吧， 我怎么越写越多==，要留时间检查！)

改变

11 March
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement?
看电视比看书学的多。

Some people may well claim that they can learn more from bookssince they（好像在哪里看到过一个句子中同样的代词要指代一个 ） are more profound, while others disprove that and regardTV programs as more resourceful way of learning because they are more vivid.The fact is that either considering books as more profound or TV programs asmore vivid are over-simplified（主动就行吧 over-simplify） the real conditions in both of them.The core is how we absorb the information we have got.

First, let’s take a(读着有点奇怪 ) look at those programsand books which are assumed to be more “serious”, like scientific or socialdocumentary programs, whose counterpart may be those non-fiction books. Whilethe TV programs provided us with the most vivid and up-to-date informationabout a newdiscovery（复数吧） in space endeavor, the scientificbooks can contain the same amount of information but in different ways---that is, with more words and illustrations to coherently tell us theprogress of the discovery. Both source of information are quite inspired （source are inspired?）and sufficient and we canlearn a lot from both of them.

Next, let’s take about the more “shallow” genre,maybe just pick up the most typical one of each—i.e., the reality talent showand those self-motivational books. Both aim at pursing(persuing) the dream of one’s lifebut be shown in different forms---the reality show has actually show the “striving process” of onechasing a dream and conquering those impediments, while the books haveconcluded them into stories and principles and way of solution. Both canencourage our inner passion and stimulate us to strive for a higher goal(感觉这用情况goals更好). Thus, we can also get as muchlearning from books as from TV programs.

Finally, let’s have a look at those TVprograms and books concerning on history---some people may argue that due tothe relatively short history of TV programs, which last only for a centurycompared to the thousands years of history of books, sure we get more frombooks. However, this may not be case either. Let’s take a new example, an issueabout exploring the ancient tombs in a recently-found historical site in China.The TV program can impressively record the adventure that the scientists aretaking, how they scrawl into the tomb, what mysterious phenomenon theyencounter, what conclusions they draw, etc. On the other side, the books cannot only sort out all the information that have happened, but also offer extraknowledge about the history of the tombs, its（their） relation with other discovered ones, how in history thetomb may form, which give us more background information about the sciencediscovery and help us better understand what is going on. Thus, if we cancombine these two channels of resources together, we will be benefitted most.

In conclusion, either TV programs or books, are the creation of ourhuman wisdom, thus they are both fruitful in equipping us with usefulknowledge and skills. What only matters is that if (whether or not)we know how to properlymake use of them. (497)

总体没有什么问题 单复数注意一下 感觉老外还是偏爱复数 有些时候用单数可能欠妥当。

yzwdan818

12 March
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Because people are too busy doing many things，they can do few things well.

Some people may claim that multi-tasking is a strong proof of one’s capability, and thus, people should exert themselves to obtain a busy schedule and do as many work as possible. But, what is the quality of each task then?（反问很好）For most of the time, it can hardly be called satisfactory. Thus, it is more favorable for people to just focus on few things and do them well.

First, let’s take a look at the studying aspect. Some students, bright and young, yet ambitious or aggressive（插入语增强句子多样性）, try to take a double major in university. And what’s the result of that then? For most of the cases, they end up in quitting one. And rarely of the time, may few of the most assiduous ones accomplish both（想表达的意思应该是很少有人能完成两项，但是前后都否定，不就是说，很少的时候，有少量的人能完成两项？逻辑意思错了吧？）, yet with a rather suffering experience and a secondary-most GPA. Drawing on（逻辑主语是he,但是你想表达的应该是你自己，所以有歧义） one of my friend’s experience, he studied journalism plus with（plus和with不可以用在一起吧？）law so as to, in his words, “intensify his strength in job market”. Most of the time we see him busy in and out of the library and write papers one after another. He is also the one who gets up the earliest and go to bed the latest. Worst of all, we can barely see him laughing. What we talk most is his complaints about the heavy study. So after one year, he quitted his minor.（是想写major吗？） It is not because he is not working hard, it is simply（直接用but）because he has not got so much time and energy to study both of them well.

Next, let’s look at the situation at work place. An employee who wants to do everything well may ends up doing nothing fruitful. For example, a young man who just starts his career as an accountant wants to achieve more by taking another degree part-time. But the case is that, he has already got a busy working schedule which requires him to work late regularly, while at the same time, he needs to catch up the lessons that have been taught at weekends. As a result, he can neither focus on his work nor on his study since most of time he is rather sleepy, due to lack of enough rest. In that case, what he has expected, say a promotion, may turn to be a layoff.

Such cases are also quite prevalent in life. The term “middle-aged crisis” is drawn from those middle-aged men and women who just try to too（do） many things, far too beyond their range of ability.

Actually, since when has multi-tasking and being busy become something boastful, that everyone would like to be labeled as such?（这句话总觉得怪怪的，让我很confused,能不能把句子写得更简单没有歧义） ---take a look at our ancestors, who were rarely spending their time on actually “doing” something. For most of time, they may well spend a whole day observing the flowers in the garden, or fishing, or elaborating on appreciating the artifacts, and yet had achieved (时态不一致)such glorious works, either scientifically or aesthetically. Since when have we forgotten about the elegance of being free? Some may well blame that cases are different nowadays, since we are living in a more competitive society, but still, you have got a chance to choose your way of life.（最后一段是不是有点太升华，跑偏了？主题应该是不要做太多事情，才能把事情做好，而不是不要做太多事情，才能过美好的生活吧）



是不是写得太长了？30分钟会来不及吧，总体来说英语水平很高，但是不需要刻意写很复杂的句子，容易造成歧义。

sylviazhang

13 March [Today]
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In today’s world, the ability to cooperate well with others is more important than before.

Some people may claim that, the spirit of cooperation is so crucial in today’s world that anyone lacks it will be out-competed by the society. Surly team spirit is an favorable quality either in work or life. But, has it become more important than before? Quite on the contrary, today’s world encourages more on self-expressionism.

First and foremost, the highly diverted knowledge and skills have become to such an extent that it is highly impossible for a single individual to command all capabilities that are needed in a group. For example, a consulting group needs to make a budget proposal for a newly established educational agency overseas. Thus, they may need a lawyer to draft the contract, an analyst to count for the expenses, a translator to negotiate with the foreign representatives, an educator to provide for the advice---none of the skills are easily acquired that every one, for most of the time, has to focus on his or her own part in order to achieve a desirable result. In view of this, the corporation between team members has reduced rather than increased.

Next, today’s world highly values individualism---partially due to the globalized culture, that the world now prefers more on individuals rather than a group. A mere glance on the names of the currently trendy movies may well reveal this fact: Spider Man, I am legend, Iron Man, American Captain, which all respect a single hero who save the world. What’s more, such phenomenon can also be reflected in reality. For instance, a law firm mostly values an attorney who can win the most cases---which is usually a lonely battle---rather than one who draws strongest corporation capability.

Actually, individualism and corporation are not two opposite ends. Rather, they mutually rely on each other. In fact, a person who works compatible with his or her coworkers tends to have a stronger individual capability, since he/she will always strive for the best results using his/her wisdom. He/she is not afraid of challenging other’s opinion---something the so called “congenial person” dares not to do---if it will foster a better result.

In the recognition above, corporation ability does not necessarily indicate one’s overall competence, so our world now values more on other more practical virtues.