1.13号前每天都要坚持写作文~ abby 加油加油！！！

abbyseven

今天才来到写作小分队，恩，今天的作文明天补上~ 先晚安了，各位

abbyseven

12.12 独立写作
Independent Writing: Agree or disagree? College or University should offer more preparation before students start working

Nowadays, a growing number of people reckon that what they have learnt and gained from university or college doesn’t relate to their future career. And they held the opinion that what they fed up with what university and college had provided which is so called benefit their future development. But I dispute their viewpoints that there is still plentiful things need to be supported and offered by our university and college for our further improvement.

One the one hand, the educational goal of our university or college is making their students more excellent after the education they provided. That means if the university or college wants to fill that goal, they have no choice but to hire more outstanding professors, offer financial support to new libraries and invited celebrities, like businessman or politicians to take meaningful lectures. It’s no doubt that these things I mentioned above are factors contributing to our development to meet corporations’ needs after we graduation. For example, although one of my friends Lisa who was graduated at a considerably famous university in China, she had trouble finding a decent job, because her school focus on academic studies instead of social activities, like career lectures.  Another friend Lily who was graduate from a comparably common school, but she was hired by the top 500 after graduate because that she is familiar herself with some corporations HR when her school invited them to come to her school to attend activities.

One the other hand, corporations is short of students who are overall educated instead of bookworm. Our university or college should have intention to make their students more appropriate for the position company provided. During our 4 years study at university, our school are not only responsible for our academic study, but it’s their duty to give us a spacious stage to make our university lives more abundant, like offer us opportunity to have an internship at major-related companies, launch volunteer activities to teach those poor people who can’t afford to go to school and organized celebrities lectures which inspire us to be the excellent person we can be. For instance, I had an internship last semester at USA within the assistance of my school, this internship means a lot to me, I achieved a lot from it, like how to get along with people from all over the countries and how to adapt myself to different culture environment. What’s more, this experience is the pre-condition which lead me to employed by one of best 4 accounting firm--KPMG after my 4 years study. Without my school’s help, I wouldn’t be able to come into my dream company so successfully.

 ersonally, I suppose that if our universities offer more preparations before we graduate and start working, our career path or further development will be smoother.

1369179610

Independent Writing: Agree or disagree? College or University should offer more preparation before students start working

Nowadays, a growing number of people reckon that what they have learnt and gained from university or college doesn’t relate to their future career. And they hold the opinion that what they are fed up with what which is that so called future-benefiting development the university and college had provided provide.  But I dispute their viewpoints that there is are still plentiful valuable things need to be supported and offered by our university and college for our further improvement.(开头很流畅，就是主题有点擦边~为学生找工作做的准备和为了学生发展提供的准备不太一样)

One the one hand, the educational goal of our university or college is making their students more excellent after the education they provided. That means if the university or college wants to fill that goal, they have no choice but to hire more outstanding professors, offer financial support to new libraries and invited celebrities, like businessman or politicians to take meaningful lectures. It’s no doubt that these things I mentioned above are factors contributing to our development to meet corporations’ needs after we graduation. For example, although one of my friends Lisa who was graduatesd at from a considerably famous university in China, she had trouble finding a decent job, because her school focus on academic studies instead of social activities, like career lectures.  Another friend Lily who was graduates from a comparably common school, but she was hired by the top 500 after graduation because that she is familiar herself with some corporations‘ HR when her school invited them to come to her school to attend activities（改成：in some activities on campus）.

One the other hand, corporations is short of students who are overall educated instead of bookworm.(很棒~) Our university or college should have every intention to make their students more appropriate for the positions companies provided. During our 4 years study at university, our school are not only responsible for our academic study, but it’s their duty to give us a spacious stage to make employment of all the majors higher（强调是为找工作开展的活动） our university lives more abundant, like offering us opportunities to have an internship at major-related companies, launching volunteer activities to teach those poor people who can’t afford to go to school and organized celebrities lectures which inspire us to be the excellent person we can be. For instance, I had an internship last semester at USA within the assistance of my school, this internship means a lot to me, I achieved a lot from it, like how to get along with people from all over the countries and how to adapt myself to different culture environment. What’s more, this experience is the pre-condition which lead me to employed by one of best 4 accounting firm--KPMG after my 4 years study. Without my school’s help, I wouldn’t be able to come into my dream company so successfully.

Personally, I suppose that if our universities offer more preparations before we graduate and start working, our career path or further development will be smoother.

abby，你在造句方面花了不少功夫嘛~~，文采很好。主题在校正一下，会很棒的。

abbyseven

13 December
Independent Writing: Agree or disagree? 那些成功的人的 character，communication skill 是最重要的。


It’s not hard to notice that a growing number of people hold the opinion that communication skill is the most important factor which contributing greatly to those successful people. Although plentiful celebrities today announced that how beneficial communication skill it is, how useful it is, characters like passion, perseverance and calm also mean lot to these people on their way to success.

If you have a little sister or brother, you will find that little kids always can’t focus themselves on one thing constantly, only if he or she obsession with it, then he or she will would try their best to accomplish it. Like my little sister Judy, she is so young that she always gets attracted by other abundant new things and is not capable of finishing her study on time. However, she has passion on building blocks; she did it well and put her mind into it. What’s more, she got an award from a building blocks competition, what is really surprise my whole family. From my little sister, if you have passion on something, in most case, you will do it astonishingly well.

There is famous saying in my country that where there is a will there is a way.  erseverance plays a critical part in our success. One of my favorite math founder Jingrun Chen, who spent his whole life concerning on math problems and he got a chain of grand achievements in math field which we can use to solve our math problem today.  

Without question, calm benefits our success. When we encounter obstacles and difficulties should we just yield at each other and blame for our partners or just keep us calm down and try to figure out what’s wrong then put forward a solution to deal with it. Absolutely, most people will choose the latter. Only if we keep ourselves calm down first, can we have the opportunity to chase down the mistakes we have made then fix it. Actually, ample successful people would never lose their head when something bad happened, what they did is like I just said that calm down and settle it.

From all these characters I mentioned above, I do insist on what I said that communication skill is not the important element lead to our success. Compare to communication skill which we can foster little by little, passion, perseverance and calm appear more vital.

abbyseven

十分谢谢 136~ 的点评，然后我弱弱的发现自己的语法错误，还有各式错误真的好多，好羞愧~ 呃 会努力的 一起进步哈~

Yeeisstrong

13 December
Independent Writing: Agree or disagree? 那些成功的人的 character，communication skill 是最重要的。


It’s not hard to notice that a growing number of people hold the opinion that communication skill is the most important factor which contributing greatly to those successful people. Although plentiful celebrities today announced that how beneficial communication skill it is, how useful it is, characters like passion, perseverance and calm also mean lot to these people on their way to success.

If you have a little sister or brother, you will find that little kids always can’t focus themselves on one thing constantly, only if he or she obsession with it, then he or she will would try their best to accomplish it. Like my little sister Judy, she is so young that she always gets attracted by other abundant new things and is not capable of finishing her study on time. However, she has passion on building blocks; she did it well and put her mind into it. What’s more, she got an award from a building blocks competition, what is really surprise my whole family. From my little sister, if you have passion on something, in most case, you will do it astonishingly well.

There is famous saying in my country that where there is a will there is a way. Perseverance plays a critical part in our success. One of my favorite math founder Jingrun Chen, who spent his whole life concerning on math problems and he got a chain of grand achievements in math fieldwhichso that we can use to solve our math problem today.

Without question, calm benefits our success. When we encounter obstacles and difficulties should we just yield at each other and blame for(直接blame sb.好了，加for这个短语一般是原因吧) our partners or just keep us calm down and try to figure out what’s wrong then put forward a solution to deal with it.（Encountering obstacles and difficulties, we should yield at each other and blame our partners or keep us calm down figure out why we are wrong and put forward a solution to deal with it.） Absolutely, most people will choose the latter. Only if we keep ourselves calm down first, can we(不明白为什么颠倒呢？) have the opportunity to chase down the mistakes we have made then fix it. Actually, ample successful people would never lose their head when something bad happened（bad things happen）, what they did is like I just said that calm down and settle it.

From all these characters I mentioned above, I do insist on what I said that communication skill is not the important element lead to our success. Compare to communication skill which we can foster little by little, passion, perseverance and calm appear more vital.



我的作文一直很菜，建议当做参考，还是在三个论点断手加上明显的逻辑词比较好，红色部分的次于用的不错，该向楼主学习呢~ 建议多看看范文，加油~

abbyseven

Independent Writing: Agree or disagree? Patient is usually not a good thing, we should take actions at once.

Undeniably, a rising number of people insist on that in this world no issue is as important as patience and that without patience the hope for success run aground on the harsh reality. When I firstly heard some people discuss it, I felt so confused and unaccepted 2 years ago but after I enter my college and encountered some obstacles and difficulties I finally realized what I heard that patience is a good thing and we should take actions after we think twice about it instead of take actions at once.  

Without question, patience is one of the most important characters which contributing to our success. My high schoolmate Gang Li who had obsession with advanced math, he always stayed at dorm or library patiently when we went out to dating or relaxing. Without patience, he won’t able to spend all his spare time in solving math problems. And what really impressed me is he locked himself inside his dorm for 5 days to deal with a math problem. He got an outstanding college student math award which is meaningful in my country even the world and admitted by Harvard University for his excellent math performance. We have to acknowledge that his patience means lot to his success.

Not surprisingly, patience is one critical element we used to get along with others which makes others feel comfortable and reliable. If you met problems what you would do next. Should you just yield at your workmates or blame for your partners? Or should you just calm down and use your patience try to figure out what’s wrong then find a way to fix it. I guess most people will choose the latter.  One real story told by my mom about herself, when she graduates from college and works at a company which is taken charge by a considerably strict boss and her workmates are indifferent to her because they don’t trust her ability. However one day when my mom found that something bad happened to the company’s financial system it can’s capable of recording inventory and she hadn’t blame people for its dereliction, on the contrary, she communicated with person in charge and point out what’s wrong patiently for 4 hours which led to avoid a loss of ten thousand dollars. From this incident, my mom was accepted by her workmates and boss for her patience.

After ruminating all those reasons above, I, don’t want to admit, but have to agree with the fact that patience is a good thing and we shouldn’t taken action at once.

abbyseven

呃 现在头比较晕哈，呃 可以明天写综合吗， 明天要去上课，大概晚上8点左右会写好吧， 麻烦我的partner了~  今天出门了 表示有点累， 批准我先睡吧

综合占楼先

这篇独立写的我觉得很挫和很诡异的感觉 啊啊啊~ 先睡个 明早还得6点起

Thepassage apparently state that the hydrogen-based fuel-cell engines will takeplace of internal-combustion engines for 3 reasons: avoid wasting fuelresources, prevent pollution problems and save money. But the professor disputesit. She does not agree what the passage said and she uses 3 specific points tosupport her idea.

Firstof all, the passage suppose that the internal-combustion engine relies onpetroleum which is a finite resource, we will run out of it at the end. Buthydrogen can be derived from natural gas even water, we don't have to worryabout exhausting it. In contrast, professor claims that hydrogen is not easy toget which needs considerably cold temperature to achieve, so that’ means it’s rare.  

Second,professor asserts that hydrogen engine create more pollution problems thaninternal-combustion engine does. During the progress of extracting hydrogenfrom natural gas and water, it would consume plentiful oil which would make thepollution problems worst. In opposition to what passage said that itcontributes to pollution solving, the lecture totally dispute it.

Finally,from the lecture, the professor point out that it's expensive to buy ahydrogen-based engine which is made by one costly material. Conversely, thepassage state that it will save money when we choose to use hydrogen engines whichit’s twice efficient than internal-combustionengine.

Inconclusion, the viewpoints put forwarded in lecture contract with what ispresented in reading passage. What’s more, the professor clearindentifies the weakness in the reading passage.




第一次写综合，感觉写的好诡异~ 艾弗森 求狠批~  有什么逻辑、语法、构造不妥的 请多多指教哦  好了 我现在去看看你的，嘿嘿~

阿伦艾弗森

等你独立写完了我一起改吧

abbyseven

only if ... can we be 我觉得是倒装哈， 嘿嘿， 不知道对不 ~  

should we  .... 那个我是用一个反问句， 也不知道对不 哈哈哈~ 纠结了 求高手指点

十分谢谢你哦 Yeeisstrong  嘿嘿， 一起加油呢~ 我的作文也特别不好 加油加油 ~