麦田往事作文贴

麦田往事

求在CD各位哥哥姐姐的批评帮助指导下，秒杀托福写作。。。。。万分感谢。。。。不胜言表。。。。。。。。

麦田往事

12月7日 独立写作 Do you agree or disagree: economic growth seems to be more important than environmental concerns.

Nowadays, there is a growing number of expects pay more attention on the relationship between the economic growth and environmental concerns. Some individuals believe that we should keep the development of economic without think about the environmental issues, but others disagree this view. From my perspective, environmental concerns are also vital things for us while we develop our economy. In this essay, I will analysis is issue and come up with some reasons to demonstrate my opinion.
Admittedly, developing economy is a necessary task for us. Economy is the base of doing most things. In general, only a country or a district has a developed economy, the government can furnish good education opportunity, medical security and other great policies for people. A famous Chinese leader once said the development always the most necessary task for a country. But if the high-speed economic development brings a bad influence on the environment, the nature may take revenge on the human beings. On that time, we may use more money to remedy the unbalanced nature and no longer have the chance to develop economy. So I believe we should more attention on the environmental concerns.
Firstly, the many development of economy derive from the using of the plentiful nature resource. The common sense tells me that many primary industry must use these non-renewable resource like fuels, petroleum and nature gas. These fields may make up most GDP of a country especially in some new developing country. But these resources are non-renewable natural resource and most of this will run in few decades. So I think the development dependent over-exploit natural resource cannot stay longer. If we ignore the environmental concerns, in the last we may lost both the environment and economy.
Secondly, many consequence of destroy of the environment can become a resistance to effect the economic growth. Nowadays, there are many severe phenomenon is attribute to human activities like earthquake, flood and the dry. If these serious issues always happen on the earth, it will most seriously influence our economic life. We have to spend more money to resist this natural desert. So the government leader should have a long-sight to deal with these environment problems.
Lastly, when we break the ecological balance, we may spend a vast of money to rebuild the earth. One day, if the most of the rivers and lakes are polluted and our atmosphere is filled with the poisonous gas, we may have to spend a large of money that we developed to remedy it.
In conclusion, I consider that even though the economic growth is important, but maintain a balance between the economic development and the environment protection is a more important task for all of people on the earth.

1369179610

Nowadays, there is are a growing number of expects pay more attention on the relationship between the economic growth and environmental concerns. Some individuals believe that we should keep the development of economic without thinking about the environmental issues, but others disagree this view. From my perspective, environmental concerns are also vital things for us while we develop our economy. In this essay, I will analysis is this issue and come up with list some reasons to demonstrate my opinion. （开头很不错哦~）
Admittedly, developing economy is a necessary task for us. Economy is the base of doing most things. In general, only if a country or a district has a developed economy, can the government  furnish provide good education opportunity, medical security and other great policies for people. A famous Chinese leader once said, the development is always the most necessary task for a country. But if the high-speed economic development brings a bad influence on the environment, the nature may take revenge on the human beings. On at that time, we may use more money to remedy the unbalanced nature and no longer have the chance to develop economy. So I believe we should pay more attention on the environmental concerns.(建议第一句就提出自己对两者关系的看法)
Firstly, the many developments of economy derive from the using of the plentiful nature resources.(要明示现象背后蕴含的经济和环境的关系) The common sense tells me that many primary industry must use these non-renewable resource like fuels, petroleum and nature gas. These fields may make up most GDP of a country especially in some new developing country. But these resources are non-renewable natural resource and most of this will run in few decades. So I think the development dependent over-exploit natural resource cannot stay longer. If we ignore the environmental concerns, in the last we may lost both the environment and economy.
Secondly, many consequences of destroy the damage of the environment can become a resistance to effect the economic growth. Nowadays, there are many severe phenomenon is attribute to human activities like earthquake, flood and the dry. If these serious issues always happen on the earth, it will most seriously influence our economic life. We have to spend more money to resist this natural desert. So the government leader should have a long-sight to the long view of dealing with these environmental problems.
Lastly, when we break the ecological balance, we may spend a vast of money to rebuild the earth. One day, if the most of the rivers and lakes are polluted and our atmosphere is filled with the poisonous gas, we may have to spend a large of money that we developed to remedy it.
In conclusion, I consider that even though the economic growth is important, but maintain a balance between the economic development and the environment protection is a more important task for all of people on the earth. 非常棒的结尾，学习下。

45573asdasd

Nowadays, there is a growing number of expects（这里绝对应该是people，expects不能pay attention） pay more attention on the relationship between the economic growth and environmental concerns. Some individuals believe that we should keep the development of economic without think thinking about the environmental issues, but others disagree with this view. From my perspective, environmental concerns are also vital things for us while we develop our economy. In this essay, I will analysis (analyse)is issue and come up with some reasons to demonstrate my opinion.
Admittedly, developing economy is a necessary task for us. Economy is the base of doing most things. In general, only a country or a district has a developed economy, the government can furnish good , education opportunitymedical security and other great policies for people. A famous Chinese leader once said the development is always the most necessary task for a country. But if the high-speed economic development brings a bad influence on the environment, the nature may take revenge on the human beings. OnAt that time, we may use more money to remedy the unbalanced nature and no longer have the chance to develop economy. So I believe we should more attention on the environmental concerns.(太棒了！这一段有理有据，令人信服)
Firstly, the many developments of economy derive from the using of the plentiful  nature resource.The common sense tells me that many primary industry must use these non-renewable resources like(举例最好用such as， 如果你要考gmat更要注意这一点) fuels, petroleum and nature gas. These fields may make up most GDP of a country especially in some new developing country countries. But these resources are non-renewable natural resource and most of this will run in few decades. So I think the development dependent over-exploit natural resource cannot stay longer. If we ignore the environmental concerns, in the last we may lost both the environment and economy.
Secondly, many consequence of destroy of the environment can become a resistance to effect the economic growth（effect 不能这样用吧）. Nowadays, there are many severe phenomenon is（单复数） attribute to human activities like earthquake, flood and the dry. If these serious issues always happen on the earth, it will most seriously influence our economic life. We have to spend more money to resist this natural desert. So the government leader should have a long-sight to deal with these environment problems.（在逻辑上，和上面的有很大的重复，建议换掉）
Lastly, when we break the ecological balance, we may spend a vast of money to rebuild the earth. One day, if the most of the rivers and lakes are polluted and our atmosphere is filled with the poisonous gas, we may have to spend a large of money that we developed to remedy it. （这一段又是这种逻辑关系，环境破坏了，要花更多钱，只是例子变了）
In conclusion, I consider that even though the economic growth is important, but maintain （应该是动名词）a balance between the economic development and the environment protection is a more important task for all of people on the earth.
总体上来说是篇好文章，但是问题也较为明显，如果你这是在30分钟内打得，你的速度很快了，但是你的小语法错误有些多。如果你能检查一下，这些毛病都很容易找出来。

麦田往事

万分感谢两位，语法的问题我一直在努力克服，但是已开始写就老实忽略这些小问题，再加上时间紧，又紧张，连检查的时间都基本没有。。。。。是不是还是写少了的问题。。。。

正儿八经潜水

12月7日 独立写作修改
Do you agree or disagree: economic growth seems to be more important than environmental concerns.

Nowadays, there is a growing number of expects(people)paying more attention on(to)the relationship between the economic growth and environmental concerns. Some individuals believe that we should keep(focus on) the development of economic without thinking about the environmental issues, but others disagreewiththis view. From my perspective, environmental concerns are also vital things for us while we aredeveloping our economy. In this essay, I will analysis(analyse)this issue and come up with some reasons to demonstrate my opinion.


Admittedly, developing economy is a necessary task for us. Economy is the base of doing most things. In general, onlyifa country or a district has a developed economy, can the government canfurnish(supply) good education opportunity, medical security and other great policies for people. A famous Chinese leader once said that the economicdevelopment isalways the most necessary task for a country. But if the high-speed economic development brings a bad influence on the environment, the nature may take revenge on the human beings. On(At) that time, we may have to use more money to remedy the unbalanced nature and no longer have the chance to develop economy(我觉得过于绝对，应该去掉). So I believe we shouldpay more attention on(to)the environmental concerns.(我恍然大悟，原来这段不是你的分论点)


Firstly, the manydevelopment of economy usuallyderives from the using of the plentiful nature resources. The common sense tells me that many primary industries must use these non-renewable resources like fuels, petroleum and nature gas. These fields may make up most GDP of a country especially in some new developing countries. But these resources are non-renewable natural resource and most of this(then) will run(be used up) in a few decades. So I think theeconomicdevelopment depending onover-exploit natural resources cannot stay longer(be sustainable, development可以说stay longer吗,不清楚). If we ignore the environmental concerns, in the last we may lost（lose）both the fineenvironment and the developed economy.


Secondly, many consequences of destroyingof the environment can become a(the)resistance to effecting the economic growth. Nowadays, there are many severe phenomenonsiswhichattribute to human activities disasters like earthquake, flood and the dry. If these serious issues always happen on the earth, it will most seriously influence our economic life. We have to spend more money to resist this natural deserts(做惩罚讲常用复数). So the government leader should have a long-sight to deal with these environment problems.


Lastly, when we break the ecological balance, we may spend a vast of money to rebuild the earth. One day, if the most of the rivers and lakes are polluted and our atmosphere is filled with the poisonous gas, we may have to spend a large of money that we developed to remedy it.


In conclusion, I consider that even though the economic growth is important, but maintaining a balance between the economic development and the environment protection is a more important task for all of people on the earth.

总结：文章逻辑很乱，论点重复，建议用开头，三个论点，结尾的形式。语法问题要注意。

SophieS123

加油~

麦田往事

谢谢  哈哈

麦田往事

12.14 号 独立写作
Independent Writing: Agree or disagree? Patient is usually not a good thing, we should take actions at once.


Nowadays, there is a growing concern about people how to deal with problem. Some people believe that we should not be more patient, we should take the actions at once but others disagree with this view. From my perspective, I consider that we should take the real actions in the shortest time. In this essay, I will analyze this question and come up with some effective reasons to demonstrate my opinion.
Firstly, over-thinking may cause more possibility to miss the best time to deal with the problem. In general, the chance is always a rare thing for most people. If you not hold a coming chance immediately, the chance may leave in a short time. For example, a businessman meets a business opportunity, but he and his business team spend a vast of time to discuss how to use this opportunity and consider the risk of this business chance. Then this businessman may miss this chance in the end because the chance cannot wait him. So I believe we should choose to take action at once.
Secondly, taking actions at once can help us to be more efficient in dealing with trouble. I believe that if we spend more time to evaluate issue, analyze issue and discuss issue, the cycle of solving problem more be prolonged and this situation may highly reduce our efficiency of dealing problem. According to survey by the Management School of Shanghai University, more than 80 percent of the informants believe the high efficient is the vital ability for man who pursuit success. So we should reduce the thinking time that before the action.
Lastly, taking actions at once can raise our ability of dealing the emergency. The common sense tells me that the urgency like the opportunity often come without any forebode. If the emergency happened, we may not have the enough time to consider how to solve it. The only thing we have to do is make the decision instantly to prevent the issue become worsen. So this is the why I prefer the instant action than thinking while facing the problem.
Admittedly, patient is also a good ability of individuals. Many famous people in China always said that individuals should act after the deeply thinking. But in today, the age of the information updating fast, the society may not give us enough time to thinking. So we should practice to spend shortest time to think and deal with problem in the short time.
In conclusion, although patient is an important for us, in today's society we should pay more attention to raise the ability of taking actions at once.

cooperdw

Nowadays, there is a growing concern about people how to deal with problem. Some people believe that we should not be more patient, we should take the actions at once but others disagree with this view. From my perspective, I consider that we should take the real actions in the shortest time. In this essay, I will analyze this question and come up with some effective reasons to demonstrate my opinion(好句子，学习了).
Firstly, over-thinking may cause more possibility to miss the best time to deal with the problem. In general, the chance is always a rare thing for most people. If you not hold a coming chance immediately, the chance may leave in a short time. For example, a businessman meets a business opportunity, but he and his business team spend a vast of time to discuss how to use this opportunity and consider the risk of this business chance. Then this businessman may miss this chance in the end because the chance cannot wait him -> 改成will not waiting for him 会不会好点. So I believe we should choose to ->(冗余了,可以去掉)take action at once.(第一段的论据很不错，值得学习)
Secondly, taking actions –>(于前一段保持一致呗) at once can help us to be more efficient in dealing with trouble. I believe that if we spend more time to evaluate issue, analyze issue and discuss issue –>analyze and discuss issue, the cycle of solving problem more be (more和be位置是否反了) prolonged and this situation may highly reduce our efficiency of dealing problem. According to survey by the Management School of Shanghai University, more than 80 percent of the informants believe the high efficient is the vital ability for man who pursuit success(赞一个). So we should reduce the thinking time that->(可以去掉) before the action.
Lastly, taking actions at once can raise our ability of dealing the emergency. The common sense tells me that the urgency like the opportunity often come without any forebode. If the emergency happened, we may not have the->(去掉) enough time to consider how to solve it. The only thing we have to do is make the decision instantly to prevent the issue become worsen. So this is the–>去掉why I prefer the instant action than thinking while facing the problem.
Admittedly, patient is also a good ability of individuals. Many famous peoples in China
always said that individuals should act after the deeply thinking. But in today, the age of the information updating fast, the society may not give us enough time to thinking. So we should practice how to spend shortest time to think and deal with problem in the short time ->前面有一个time了后面用period会不会好点？.
In conclusion, although patient is an important for us, in today's society we should pay more attention to raise the ability of taking actions at once.


楼主的作文体裁，论据都太棒了，很能说明中心点， 这是一定要学习的。看得出来楼主经过了大量的训练和总结

不足之处就是有些小的 细微的地方还要更上一层楼，这就是篇完美的文章了，共勉！