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小菜鸟跪求IBT作文大狠批!

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楼主
发表于 2012-12-6 17:21:35 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
独立:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people today are more likely to help others than young people in the past.


Kindness as the heated discussed issue has been controversial since it was raised up. Because of its crucial position in the modern social development, the public are concerned whether young people today are more willing to give others their hands than young people in the past. Many people consider that young people today get better educated, which makes the reason why young people today are more likely to help others. I, however, argue that young people in the past care others more. Several points in different dimensions will be demonstrated and explained to testify my hypothesis.



To start off, nowadays, there are many criminal cases caused by people who use others conscience in purpose, which makes people not willing to help strangers. For instance, a abductor can abduct a woman by pretending a new dweller who loses himself and the woman will be led to a quiet place where is easier to faint her with some medicines. The kindness to help others is the reason why this kind of things will happen. So there are many parents teaching their children not to give strangers their hands, while parents in the past told their children it was good to help others. Because of the traditional education, giving others support was thought highly of ones personality and was advocated among young people.



Whats more, the competition among young people in the modern society is so keen that they are less willing to help others. For example, a man named Kevin who works for a company 3 years gives much help to a newcomer named Bob who just graduate from university and is ready to start his first job. Maybe after 1 year, with Kevins help, Bob grows up quickly and becomes more capable than Kevin, which makes the company fire Kevin. Because the company do not want two men to do the same work, which causes a wast of resource. It seems that helping others can hurt the benefit of the people who give the support. However, this kind of case did not happen in such a high frequency in the past for the less competitive working environment. Youngsters were happy to help others without thinking too much and they believed that helping others was also helping themselves.



Finally, i would like to emphasize that because of the criminal case in which the offender use peoples kindness to get their purposes and the increasing stress in the social environment, youngsters today are less likely to help others than young people in the past.

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沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2012-12-6 17:22:14 | 只看该作者
综合TPO3

While some people are doubting whether one painting was made by Rembrandt, the professor says that it has been proved that the painting was indeed attributed by Rembrandt. Here is some reasons.

At first, the professor says that people found that the fur collar was not part of the painting, which was added after the painting finished 100 years and to increase the value of it so that it could be looked like a formal portrait. At the same time, the lecture says that the woman in the painting was not dressed like a service.

What’s more, while the talking is showing that after the added color removed, the original color can be seen and it explores the illuminated face, which makes the painting look realistic, the lecture consider that the expression of light and shadow in the painting are not the style of Rembrandt.

Furthermore, the doubted people give a proof that a kind of panel, which Rembrandt would not use, was made of several pieces of wood together. However, the speech reveals that when people added color on it, they enlarged the panel with a very same tree as the original wood. In fact, the original panel was made of a single piece of wood.
板凳
发表于 2012-12-6 18:38:17 | 只看该作者
hi, baby~我先帮你修改哈,今天忙着申请个快deadline的学校,没来得及写。我尽量明天早晨发给你哈~明天我传上来然后私信你哈~
地板
发表于 2012-12-7 17:58:15 | 只看该作者
Hi, 抱歉~才修改好~紫色是我觉得写的好的地方,黄色是需要修改的建议。

弄了好久,不知道什么情况~粘贴过来就格式不对了。我只能传个附件了。给你添麻烦了,不好意思啊~~




另外,我觉得baby你可能是刚开始写作文,句子类型不够多,可以尝试积累一些多一些结构的句子。

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