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“我把托福踩脚下的作文贴10.30开始

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11#
发表于 2012-11-1 22:02:35 | 只看该作者
10.31 Young people nowadays have no influence on decisions that determine the future of the society as a wholeModern society focuses on youth education, growth and mental health because the public hasbelief on that the destiny of society will be determined more by the youth of today. The ideas and behaviors based on young generation obviously affect present society a lot (语病,一句长句,但是我没看懂表达的对象是谁) regardless of on decision or making regulations that haslonger and more permanent impact to future. (还是感觉摸不着头脑)




To start with, It is a notable phenomenon that the impact of young to (宾语是谁?没看懂)society has an upward rapidly tendency today. As a result of effect, many social critical events have shifted concerning about young's overwhelming opinions. For instance, considerable new ideas and opinions that young often discuss the platform of Internet communication become the predominant power and streamline ideas. As we know, the president of USA, Obama was not content to stay out of young electors, instead of; he did some pop rally to win supporting from young voters. (感觉写的比较晦涩)




Furthermore, considering the strong power of youngsters' ideas, prudent decision-makers usually tend to listen from youngsters and pay their more attention to younger before important decisions they generate. They who have played important roles in building future society but are the offspring in families. Decision-makers are the responsibilities and stress to consider how advantage will bring to their next generation. For example, Chinese government updated their enrolling system of universities for considering about many youngsters were out of registration list. Universities in China has extended their enroll figure from 1.8 million people in 2000 to 6.5million people today. Thus, youngster ideas have well contributed to wise decision made by government.




Besides, it is certified by a lot of evidence that the young generation is competent to impact and change society because they hold creative ideas, open minds and (谓语是什么?)energy bodies which (指代不清,没看懂) of those are helpful to their success. One example is that Mark Zuckerburg as the chairman and chief executive of Facebook company was nominated number one on 2010 list of top 100 most influential people of the information Age on Vanity Fair magazine. What you can image that the Facebook as one new popular communication platform has roughly 800 million active users in worldwide. When decision-makers enjoy their chatting on Facebook, isn't it necessary that they give more consideration to young impact to society. (这段也是比较晦涩,感觉和主题不是很突出)




In sum, modern youth has significantly influential (adj错了,改用noun to modern society, also the impact will continue in the future. Decision-makers absolutely make their wise decisions by around youth group because they realize that youth as a newborn strong power enable to dominant social development.
12#
发表于 2012-11-2 15:30:32 | 只看该作者
Young people nowadays have no influence on decisions that determine the future of the society as a whole

Modern society focuses on youth(paraphrase!) education, growth and mental health because the public has belief on that the destiny of society will be determined more by the youth of today. The ideas and behaviors based on young generation(paraphrase!) obviously affect present society a lot regardless of(何意啊,没有看懂诶) on decision or making regulations that has longer and more permanent impact to future.


To start with, It is a notable phenomenon that the impact of young to society has an upward rapidly tendency today. As a result of effect, many social critical events have shifted(好词!) concerning about (好词!)young's overwhelming opinions. For instance, considerable new ideas and opinions that young often discuss on the platform of Internet communication become the predominant power and(我感觉是of,因为不是并列关系,是原因结果)streamline ideas. As we know, the president of USA, Obama was not content(为什么是不满意啊?)to stay out of young electors, instead of; he did some pop rally to win supporting from young voters. (有个句型O did not settle for the present(这里可以再改改的), when he can win supporting from young voters by some pop rally


Furthermore, considering the strong power of youngsters’ ideas, prudent(小心,谨慎的)decision-makers usually tend to listen from youngsters and pay their more attention to their 好像多余了,有点别扭)youngerparaphrase,好!) before important decisions they generate(明白意思,有点别扭,用proposemake比较好). They who have played important roles in building future society but are the offspring in families. Decision-makers are (漏了underthe responsibilities and stress to consider how(可以,主要看表达什么意思,你想表达的是优势如何被带来吗?) advantage will (被动)bring to their next generation. For example, Chinese government updated their enrolling system of universities for considering about many youngsters (漏了who were out of registration list. Universities in China has extended their enroll(是动词额,有专有名词planned enrollment figure) figure from 1.8 million people in 2000 to 6.5million people today. Thus, youngster ideas have well contributed to wise decision made by government.



这段写的很不错,但是因为结论是youngster ideas have well contributed to wise decision.所以不妨加一句youngster ideasàplanned enrollment figure上升

Besides, it is certified by a lot of evidence that young generation are competent to impact and change society because they hold creative ideas, open minds and energyàenergetic bodies which of those(有点突兀,删去如何?) are helpful to their success. One example is that Mark Zuckerburg as the chairman and chief executive of Facebook company was nominated number one(就写NO.1吧,我看了愣了一下。。)on 2010 list of top 100 most influential people of the information Age on Vanity Fair magazine. What you can image that the Facebook as one new popular communication platform has roughly 800 million active users in worldwide.(原句有两个连词啊,用疑问句好了,Can you。。?)/When decision-makers enjoy their chatting on Facebook, isn’t it necessary that they 这里我认为加一个should比较好,我之前觉得这里有意思断层,但是看了几遍觉得最后一句是联系文章的句子,写的很好!但是加一个should表意见,能是这句句子的目的性更明确表建议give more consideration to young(不能表示年轻人的,用youth吧) impact to society.




In sum, modern youth has significant influential(应该是名词) to modern society, also(用句老练) the impact will continue in the future. Decision-makers absolutely make their wise decisions by around(我觉得副词至后比较好youth group aroundyouth group because(拼错啦)they realize that youth as a newborn strong(查了字典,没搞清楚哪个在前,可以用and power enable to dominant(用v吧)social development.



总结

1.写的很好,关键是例子详细!

lthe impact of young to society has an upward rapidly tendency

lyoung generation are competent to impact and change

lprudent decision-makers usually tend to listen from youngsters

2.用词多样 young generation youth young people younger youngster





3.疑问,请问 on the platform of 能够准确表达在。。平台之上吗?

望回
13#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-11-3 09:21:19 | 只看该作者
11.2 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should buy things made in their own country; even the price is higher than same things made somewhere else.

People tend to purchase foreign products because they believe that this behavior is virtually significant, which shows their patriotic obsession. However, as far as I am considering, boycott is not the best way to promote local economy or  halt other regions’ economical development. People should have their freedom to choose whatever they like.

To start with, this primary reason people usually don't purchase importation because they treat these products with strong emotion involved hostility, enmity or angry. For instance, people in South Korea have refused to shop any Japanese goods because they have embraced strong indignation with Japan's invasion 30 years ago. However, many people who don't have good incomes need less expensive good to feed their diary lives. These people usually live as grass roots of society and earn unstable salary, also live with their big and poor family.  To them, buying foreign items means that they have to spend certainly more money by paying additional custom duties and transportation conveying than local alternatives. Thus, the price will be their most important consider when people do shopping.

Furthermore, high quality of products should be an important factor contribute to people's consumption custom.  Nobody wants buy a poor item which probably   break out within one month. If the item doesn’t work, people will spend much more time and cost on maintaining and replace it with some parts. For example, there are one 20 -buck earphone with high quality and a low quality one with the same price at front of you. Absolutely your decision must be the good quality. At least, a product with high quality can make your life easier.

Additionally, nowadays more and more people aware of globe economy instead of putting them only in their own feet. Some local companies will monopolize local market without any competition when all people in local region resist foreign goods, also local companies will increase goods’ price a lot at the end. On the other hand, when good qualified importation come out local market from other countries, people's enthusiasm on purchasing  will encourage the development of local companies. That would be the mutual benefits between customer and local economy.

All in all, it is ridiculous that people who tend to shop local low- quality products with much expensive price. People buy anything mainly depended on how much bucks in their wallet. They obviously prefer to buy produces with good price and quality.
14#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-11-3 10:47:11 | 只看该作者
11.2综合

The reading passage claims three ways to protest Torreya against decrease, but the lecture refutes the idea by stating that all those methods don’t work for this kind of tree's survive.


First, the professor doubts that the idea in the passage that to reestablish Torreya's habitats with a specific microclimate is helpful to their quantities. He points that this way is unlike to success because present global warming contributes to temperature increase and less humidity in Florida where do not really benefit to Torrey's growth.


Second, while the passage agrees that to relocate Torreya with totally different places to help them adapt to new environment well, the professor raises a contradictory idea that relocation unfortunately is an unsuccessful idea. He takes an example that other species of plants and trees closely died out, even some of trees endangered when human moved black locust tree to north to help it growth. Thus, the viewpoint of professor is contrary with the passage.


Third, the passage argues that monitor Torreya in research center can ensure their number . But the lecture rebuts the point and claims that in order to avoid Torreya successfully resists disease in research area, a large number and general diverse are being required in center, but it is hardly to keep a large number of trees in center. So, research center don't have enough capacity to protect Torreya against disease.


In general, the professor presents his conflicting idea to the reading.
15#
发表于 2012-11-3 21:56:47 | 只看该作者
11.2 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should buy things made in their own country; even the price is higher than same things made somewhere else.



People tend to purchase foreign products because they believe that this behavior is virtually significant, which shows their patriotic obsession. However, as far as I am considering, boycott is not the best way to promote local economy or halt other regions' economical economic development. People should have their freedom to choose whatever they like.



To start with, this primary reason people usually don't purchase importation because they treat these products with strong emotion involved hostility, enmity or angry. For instance, people in South Korea have refused to shop any Japanese goods because they have embraced strong indignation with Japan's invasion 30 years ago. However, many people who don't have good incomes need less expensive good to feed their diary lives. These people usually live as grass roots of society and earn unstable salary, also live with their big and poor family. To them, buying foreign items means that they have to spend certainly more money by paying additional custom duties and transportation conveying than local alternatives. Thus, the price will be their most important consider when people do shopping. (列子舉得不錯!)



Furthermore, high quality of products should be an important factor contributes to people's consumption custom (沒看懂). Nobody wants buy a poor item which probably breaks out within one month. If the item doesn't work, people will spend much more time and cost on maintaining and replace it with some parts. For example, there are one 20 -buck earphone with high quality and a low quality one with the same price at the front of you. Absolutely your decision must be the good quality. At least, a product with high quality can make your life easier.



Additionally, nowadays more and more people aware of the globe economy instead of putting them only in their own feet. Some local companies will monopolize local market without any competition when all people in the local region resist foreign goods, also local companies will increase the goods' price a lot at the end. On the other hand, when good qualified importation comes out local market from other countries, people's enthusiasm for purchasing will encourage the development of local companies. That would be the mutual benefits between customers and the local economy.



All in all, it is ridiculous that people who tend to shop local low- quality products with much expensive price. People buy anything mainly depended on how much bucks in their wallet. They obviously prefer to buy produces with good price and quality.

整體結構寫的不錯,基本上沒什麼毛病,語言簡潔易懂。感覺如果寫的更加精彩就更好了!譬如提升列子的複雜度,使整體更精彩!
16#
发表于 2012-11-3 22:00:10 | 只看该作者
11.2综合

The reading passage claims three ways to protest Torreya against decrease, but the lecture refutes the idea by stating that all those methods don't work for this kind of tree's survive.




First, the professor doubts that the idea in the passage that to reestablish Torreya's habitats with a specific microclimate is helpful to their quantities. He points that this way is unlike to success because present global warming contributes to temperature increase and less humidity in Florida where do not really benefit to Torrey's growth.




Second, while the passage agrees that to relocate Torreya with totally different places to help them adapt to a new environment well, the professor raises a contradictory idea that relocation unfortunately is an unsuccessful idea. He takes an example that other species of plants and trees closely died out, even some of trees endangered when human moved black locust tree to north to help it growth. Thus, the viewpoint of professor is contrary with the passage.(最後一句話感覺用在這不好)




Third, the passage argues that monitor Torreya in the research center can ensure their number . But the lecture rebuts the point and claims that (that +in order to的主語是什麽?that是賓語從句啊) in order to avoid Torreya successfully resists disease in research area, a large number and general diversity are being(一般式就可以了,去掉being) required in the center, but it is hardly to keep a large number of trees in the center. So, research center don't have enough capacity to protect Torreya against disease.




In general, the professor presents his conflicting idea to the reading.
17#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-11-5 06:54:00 | 只看该作者
11.4 Young people should try several different jobs before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term.

Nowadays, people regard work as an important part in their lives. There is a controversial issue whether or not people should go to different jobs to help them decide their final work. Many youth oppose the viewpoint by saying that trying various jobs contributes negative personal images to boss that is hardly to distribute you any work chance with more challenge. From my perspective, however, you will learn more about work and communication skill, and you can broaden your horizon as well, that can really helpful to your final decision to your best work. Just give a shot to different jobs.

To individual, attempting to work in different fields and locations enables people to position themselves better. As we know, most students tend to seek what are their interests by applying part-time jobs during their summer and winter break. Almost all colleges allow students do internship in their fourth-year to help them decide their orientation. Obvisouly, students usually successfully find their most interested jobs through their own experience. Take me as an example; children special education actually intrigued all of my potential enthusiamenthusiasm when I did an intern in children center, then I changed my major to Children education from higher education. I still enjoy this passion what my job brings out until today.

Furthermore, working experience with different background is beneficial to your growth, which is useful to you correct decision. For instance, when you never taste a green apple, how can you learn the green apple sweeter than the red one you have held for long time? To noviciate,various work experience opens a door to broaden your horizon and to learn new skills, such as some interdisciplinary skills which can contribute to you being an elite in your future work. Look around today’s society, more and more companies and corporation have faced to a shortfall of integrated talent.

Additionally, the benefit to company is that you can dedicate yourself entirely to your work once you are satisfy to your work. you can enjoy the passion, the challenge , the material rewards and the sense of belonging from work. As a result of it, you produce miracle to your company.


In conclusion, an ideal work is so important in people's lifespan because it can bring you around well-being and happiness. Rich work experience not only locates yourself better and help you do accurate decision for your future life, but also results in a mutual benefit to both of company and individual.
18#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-11-5 08:27:20 | 只看该作者
11.4integrated

The lecture discusses that "Let it burn" policy from its positive angle which refutes the main idea in the reading that three kinds of damage contribute to this policy’s opponent  voice.

First, the professor opposes the idea in the passage that trees and vegetation suffer totally destruction. He argues that this scorched land provides plants a chance to become more diversity. Moreover, some seeds of plant can germinate through exposure in  a high level heat.

Furthermore, while the passage pronounces that both of animals population and habitats are suffering, the professor contradicts this by saying that the newborn plants and vegetation create a good habitat for small animals such as rabbits and hairs which attract some predator to reestablish new food chain. The food chain will become stronger after fire as before.

Finally, the passage asserts that fire results in less tourist population and less local economy, but the lecture rebuts the idea by analyzing the occasional combination factors to serious yellowtone fires in 1988.He claims that similar serious fire dont occur every year yet. He also argues that tourist  still  come back next year and every year. The fire dont really affect the local tourism.

In total, the professor discussesd the issue of "Let it burn"policy that the reading views in a contrary angle.
19#
发表于 2012-11-5 13:03:13 | 只看该作者
Nowadays,people regard work as an important part in their lives. There is acontroversial issue whether or not people should go to (do) different jobs to helpthem decide their final work. Many youth oppose the viewpoint by saying thattrying various jobs contributes negative personal images to boss that is hardlyto distribute you any work chance with more challenge. From my perspective, however,you will learn more about work and communication skill, and you can broadenyour horizon as well, that can (are) really helpful toyour final decision to your best work(感觉发for you to make the final decision about work that suitsyou most能好一点哈,不过还是好奇怪的感觉~果然能力有限). Just give a shot to different jobs.

To
individual, attempting to work indifferent fields and locations enables people to position themselves (貌似与individual不是很符合) better. As we know, moststudents tend to seek what are their interests by applying part-time jobs during theirsummer and winter break. Almost all colleges allow students to do internshipin their fourth-year to help them decide their orientation. Obvisouly, studentsusually successfully find their most interested jobs through their ownexperience. Take me as an example; children special education actuallyintrigued all of my potential enthusiamenthusiasm when I did an intern inchildren center, then I changed my major to Children education from highereducation. I still enjoy this passion what my job brings out until today.

Furthermore, working experience with differentbackground is beneficial to your growth,
which (这个指什么?没有看懂哈,experience~那么就because it’s useful…应该更好吧,怎么感觉这个Which这么奇怪呢~如果说得不恰当就忽略我吧~~~能力有限) is useful to you (for you to ) correct decision. For instance, when you never taste agreen apple, how can you learn the green apple sweeter than the red one youhave held for long time? To noviciate,various work experience opens a door to broadenyour horizon and to learn new skills, such as some interdisciplinary skillswhich can contribute to you being an elite in your future work. Look aroundtoday’s society, more and more companies and corporation have faced(感觉一般现在时或进行时会更好一些~ to ashortfall of integrated talent.

Additionally, the benefit to company is thatyou can dedicate yourself entirely to your work once you are
satisfy to (satisfied with) yourwork. you can enjoy the passion, the challenge , the material rewards and thesense of belonging from work. As a result of it, you produce miracle to yourcompany.


In conclusion, an ideal work is so importantin people's lifespan because it can bring you around well-being and happiness.Rich work experience not only locates yourself better and help you do accuratedecision for your future life, but also results in a mutual benefit to both ofcompany and individual.



思路很清晰哈~就是不清楚最后一个论点从公司的角度说可不可行~
感觉应该可以~很新颖
主要是你的句子给我很奇怪的感觉(为什么总是感觉...我也不知道...原谅我吧)
都说长短句结合什么的,你多看看范文吧,换一下句式什么的应该能让作文看起来更棒~
加油
20#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-11-8 02:55:08 | 只看该作者
11.7 College or university should offer students a better job preparation before they start working

In the current global financial crisis, the college graduates “employment difficult” issue has become a common focus of attention. Many universities are passionate about  prepare various occupation preparation to students. However, it is still a lot of complaint from some students due to an unattended attitude of college. From my perspective, colleges should concern about helping graduates for their careers. As a result of that, students can find a better job through resources from colleges; also colleges can benefit a lot when they provide this service to students.

To begin with, college as a whole can gain information resources easier than students themselves. Usually, some offices or organizations on campus such as human resource program and career office are working for professional career information. Colleges also have ample connection resources among every corner of society . These two ways contribute to employing information more accessible to college from its alumini and peers. For instance, Harvard encourages students to attend positively various internships  and assorted conferences. Harvard students can also learn a lot when many famous and celebrities do some speeches and interact with students on campus. In contrast, individual’s capacity to look for career information is limited.

Furthermore, students usually are busying during their final year on campus, especially nearby the deadline of graduates. Many students are hardy to extract extra time and energy on job hunting while they have to finish their final essays and work for the results of labs. If they make time to seek jobs, the amount of time they spend on their experiments and essays enforces to shrink. My friend, Amy, he really appreciated his alma mater, UIC ,to provide graudates career fairs, so he had a chance to meet professor Dolglas in one national lab and recommend himself. It is nothing than less resources student gain only even if some of they spend up to 5 hours every day hunting a job from newspaper and by Internet.


From a point view of long term, the more benefit students earn, the more rewards belonged college obtains. First, College tends to invest more human resource and money to help students a lot through organizing career fair, inviting famous presentation and so on, so college wins more respect among students. Second, alumni work done in their different career positions, the aurele  of college becomes more brilliant.




In conclusion, once many colleges realize mutual advantages between studentsand colleges themselves, they will cast their more attention to feed career requirement of graduates. In that way, colleges win more respect and better reputation, and students are lso happy when they successfully applied favorable jobs by a favor of college







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