xiaoshuo的作文贴

xiaoshuo199183

xiaoshuo的作文贴~大家多多指导

xiaoshuo199183

刚开始准备托福，这是第一篇托福作文，肯定问题多多，希望大家给多提建议啦。
Patience is usually not a good strategy. We should take action now rather than later.

Some people may think that we should take action immediately rather than wait.Because we may miss the opptunities if we think too much.But no one can deny that paitence is still an essential part of our life to succeed.

Dealing with some problems we meet,not only does the strategy make effort,but also the patience is the key to solving the questions.Why is patience so important?Because whether you can think out of a ingenious solution needs both your intelligence and  careful consideration.One's action ought to come out of an achieved stillness, not to be a mere rushing on.No matter how clever you are,you may not make a sensible decision in a short time thinking.For example,purchasing houses is one of the most difficult
selections each one of us may meet.Because houses are the places we whole family will live throughout our lives.Good houses can improve the quality of our lives and make us relaxing after one day's hard work,on the contrast, worse houses make us feel uncomfortable. So we could not simply make a decision just depending on the first impression they give on us.We should also considerate the location,the convinience.And community's public order also can't be neglected.So think twist before your leap.

In chess and many activies,patience is also a crucial element.Take playing go as an instance,some players may spend hours to make a decision of next step.Taking action too fast can expose you to the competitors' trap.There are lots of factor you should take into account.

Admittedly,sometimes we should take instant action expecially the investiment area.If you hesitate for just a little while,you may miss the best moment to kick in or you have to bear tremendous loss for the bad timing.Just like the stock market,investigating when the stock's value is at the bottom of valley can make you earn a great number of money,otherwise a millionaire can become a bagger.So timing is important,which means that you must take action right on the good timing.

Above all,although some cases need us to take action now rather than later,but patience cannot be a bad thing for us.Instead of  making choices rushly,dealing within the patience can always help us make a proper resolution.

bonnenuit

Some people may think that we should take action immediately rather than wait.Because we may miss the opptunities if we think too much.But no one can deny that paitence is still an essential part of our life to succeed.

Dealing with some problems we meet(缺主语，可以改成when we are dealing。。。）,not only does the strategy make effort,but also the patience is the key to solving（solve) the questions.Why is patience so important?Because whether you can think out of a ingenious solution needs both your intelligence and  careful consideration.One's action ought to come out of an achieved stillness, not to be a mere rushing on.No matter how clever you are,you may not make a sensible decision in a short time thinking.For example,purchasing houses is one of the most difficult
selections each one of us may meet.Because houses are the places in where we whole family will live throughout our lives.Good houses can improve the quality of our lives and make us relaxing after one day's hard work,on the contrast, worse(worse house跟前面的goodhouse感觉不对应，用inferior） houses make us feel uncomfortable. So we could not simply make a decision just depending （depend）on the first impression they give on us.We should also considerate（consider或者take into consideration如果你喜欢用固定搭配） the location,the convinience.And community's public order also can't be neglected.So think twist before your leap.

（每段段开头 最好加一些承接词，to gegin with,further moreIn,中心句会使得文章更有结构感） chess and many activies,patience is also a crucial element.Take playing go as an instance,some players may spend hours to make(making) a decision of next step.Taking action too fast can expose you to the competitors' trap.There are lots of factors you should take into account.

Admittedly,sometimes we should take instant action expecially in the investiment area.If you hesitate for just a little while,you may miss the best moment to kick in or you have to bear tremendous loss for the bad timing.Just like the stock market,investigating(investigating不能和stock market 平行比较，把like改成in，或者just like the investgat in the stock market） when the stock's value（换of,'s一般用于人或活物） is at the bottom of valley can make you earn a great number of money,otherwise a millionaire can become a bagger.So timing is important,which（which 不能指代整句话，that可以） means that you must take action right on the good timing.

Above all,although some cases need us to take action now rather than later,but patience cannot be a bad thing for us.Instead of  making choices rushly,dealing within the patience can always help us make a proper resolution.

LZ固定搭配果然基础很扎实 值得我学习
开头may使用频率太高了 写议论文最重要的是确定性 估计老美也一样 不喜欢太多的可能 也许这些
第二，三段开始最后加一些承接词，让结构更紧凑一点 每段写中心句子 单单举例不能突出你所要表达的意思

xiaoshuo199183

非常感谢~我就是不太了解托福作文的行文特点，结构组织不太好呢。以后会多多注意的~每段都会加上中心论点的。may那个一定注意，我经常用词重复。。。感觉语言不够丰富

xiaoshuo199183

Some people may think that we should take action immediately rather than wait.Because we may miss the opptunities if we think too much.But no one can deny that paitence is still an essential part of our life to succeed.

Dealing with some problems we meet(缺主语，可以改成when we are dealing。。。）,not only does the strategy make effort,but also the patience is the key to solving（solve) the questions.Why is patience so important?Because whether you can think out of a ingenious solution needs both your intelligence and  careful consideration.One's action ought to come out of an achieved stillness, not to be a mere rushing on.No matter how clever you are,you may not make a sensible decision in a short time thinking.For example,purchasing houses is one of the most difficult
selections each one of us may meet.Because houses are the places in where we whole family will live throughout our lives.Good houses can improve the quality of our lives and make us relaxing after one day's hard work,on the contrast, worse(worse house跟前面的goodhouse感觉不对应，用inferior） houses make us feel uncomfortable. So we could not simply make a decision just depending （depend）on the first impression they give on us.We should also considerate（consider或者take into consideration如果你喜欢用固定搭配） the location,the convinience.And community's public order also can't be neglected.So think twist before your leap.

（每段段开头 最好加一些承接词，to gegin with,further moreIn,中心句会使得文章更有结构感） chess and many activies,patience is also a crucial element.Take playing go as an instance,some players may spend hours to make(making) a decision of next step.Taking action too fast can expose you to the competitors' trap.There are lots of factors you should take into account.

Admittedly,sometimes we should take instant action expecially in the investiment area.If you hesitate for just a little while,you may miss the best moment to kick in or you have to bear tremendous loss for the bad timing.Just like the stock market,investigating(investigating不能和stock market 平行比较，把like改成in，或者just like the investgat in the stock market） when the stock's value（换of,'s一般用于人或活物） is at the bottom of valley can make you earn a great number of money,otherwise a millionaire can become a bagger.So timing is important,which（which 不能指代整句话，that可以） means that you must take action right on the good timing.

Above all,although some cases need us to take action now rather than later,but patience cannot be a bad thing for us.Instead of  making choices rushly,dealing within the patience can always help us make a proper resolution.

LZ固定搭配果然基础很扎实 值得我学习
开头may使用频率太高了 写议论文最重要的是确定性 估计老美也一样 不喜欢太多的可能 也许这些
第二，三段开始最后加一些承接词，让结构更紧凑一点 每段写中心句子 单单举例不能突出你所要表达的意思

-- by 会员 bonnenuit (2012/10/28 14:56:37)

非常感谢~我对托福作文怎么写确实还是不太了解的，你一语中的了，以后会注意在每段添加中心论点的！may的问题提醒我了，以后少用

xiaoshuo199183

10.29 综合
The lecture argues against three measures  mentioned in the passage which aims at reducing the population of the cane toads in Australia.

Firstly,the lecture argues that building a national fence cannot stop the moving of cane toads.Although there's a fence,some young cane toads and toads' eggs still can flow from one side to the other side.The passage,on the contrast,claims that the fence can effectively prevent cane toads from entering the Australia.

For the second measure,the lecture hold the idea that volunteers can also destory native frogs,some of which are endangered.The reason why it may happen is that the cane toads and the native frogs are similar expecially when they're young.So the volunteers couldn't tell them distinctly.However,the reading passage is holding the oppisite view that finding volunteers to capture and destory the cane toads is an effective way to the reduction of the cane toads.

Finally,the lecture objects to the third measure.The professor thinks that developing virus is not a proper way. Because the disease can transport to other continients where the cane toads may be an essential part of ecosystem.It's just the oppsite side to the passage,which argues that we can develping disease through the ways of developing virus to control the population of the cane toads.

lmylacoste

The lecture argues against three measures mentioned in the passage which aims(which 指代three measures 应用复数）at reducing the population of the cane toads in Australia.

Firstly, the lecture argues that building a national fence cannot stop the moving of cane toads. Although there's a fence, some young cane toads and toads' eggs still can（still 位于can的后面） flow from one side to the other side. The passage, on the contrast, claims that the fence can effectively prevent cane toads from entering the Australia.

For the second measure, the lecture hold the idea that volunteers can also destory（拼错啦destroy） native frogs, some of which are endangered. The reason why it may happen is that the cane toads and the native frogs are similar expecially（拼错啦 especially 最后前面加个，） when they're young. So the volunteers couldn't tell （单独没有区分的意思吧，可用identify recongnize等表辨认的词）them distinctly. However, the reading passage is holding the oppisite（拼错啦 opposite）view that finding（find是寻找的意思吧，volunteer没有丢啊，用 call together）volunteers to capture and destory the cane toads is an effective way to （加个lead to，或者直接reduce）the reduction of the cane toads.

Finally,the lecture objects to the third measure.The professor thinks that developing virus is not a proper way. Because the disease can transport（应用被动） to other continients（拼错啦continent）where the cane toads may be（这里可以不用may 直接are 就好） an essential part of ecosystem .It's just the oppsite side to the passage, which argues that we can <develping拼错了disease 有点费解>through the ways of developing virus to control the population of the cane toads.

总评：
1.意思到位，内容涵盖阅读听力内容
2.字数略少，可适当加点废话
3.用词欠准确，有拼错现象 opposite develop destroy 请适当注意

xiaoshuo199183

The lecture argues against three measures mentioned in the passage which aims(which 指代three measures 应用复数）at reducing the population of the cane toads in Australia.

Firstly, the lecture argues that building a national fence cannot stop the moving of cane toads. Although there's a fence, some young cane toads and toads' eggs still can（still 位于can的后面） flow from one side to the other side. The passage, on the contrast, claims that the fence can effectively prevent cane toads from entering the Australia.

For the second measure, the lecture hold the idea that volunteers can also destory（拼错啦destroy） native frogs, some of which are endangered. The reason why it may happen is that the cane toads and the native frogs are similar expecially（拼错啦 especially 最后前面加个，） when they're young. So the volunteers couldn't tell （单独没有区分的意思吧，可用identify recongnize等表辨认的词）them distinctly. However, the reading passage is holding the oppisite（拼错啦 opposite）view that finding（find是寻找的意思吧，volunteer没有丢啊，用 call together）volunteers to capture and destory the cane toads is an effective way to （加个lead to，或者直接reduce）the reduction of the cane toads.

Finally,the lecture objects to the third measure.The professor thinks that developing virus is not a proper way. Because the disease can transport（应用被动） to other continients（拼错啦continent）where the cane toads may be（这里可以不用may 直接are 就好） an essential part of ecosystem .It's just the oppsite side to the passage, which argues that we can <develping拼错了disease 有点费解>through the ways of developing virus to control the population of the cane toads.

总评：
1.意思到位，内容涵盖阅读听力内容
2.字数略少，可适当加点废话
3.用词欠准确，有拼错现象 opposite develop destroy 请适当注意

-- by 会员 lmylacoste (2012/10/30 14:14:21)

拼错好多词。。。蹲墙角。。。谢谢啦，改的很仔细呢。tell应该是有辨别的意思呢~

xiaoshuo199183

修改作文
The lecture argues against three measures mentioned in the passage which aim at reducing the population of the cane toads in Australia.

Firstly, the lecture argues that building a national fence cannot stop the moving of cane toads. Although there's a fence, some young cane toads and toads' eggs can still flow from one side to the other side. The passage, on the contrast, claims that the fence can effectively prevent cane toads from entering the Australia.

For the second measure, the lecture hold the idea that volunteers can also  destroy native frogs, some of which are endangered. The reason why it may happen is that the cane toads and the native frogs are similar  especially when they're young. So the volunteers couldn't identify them distinctly. However, the reading passage is holding the oppositeview that call tog volunteers to capture and destroy the cane toads is an effective way to reduce  the cane toads.

Finally,the lecture objects to the third measure.The professor thinks that developing virus is not a proper way. Because the disease can be transported to other continentwhere the cane toads are an essential part of ecosystem .It's just the oppsite side to the passage, which argues that we can use the ways of develping virus to control the population of the cane toads.

xiaoshuo199183

10.30 独立
Contributes on an enjoyable vacation, please select one of three selection. Good food, Good location and with good friends to travel.


Good place and good food are both traditional elements of the definition of a wonderful vacation.They can make you relaxed with the whole body and heart.But,in my oppinion,good friends are more important than  those  enjoyment.

Addmittedly,good place and good food do play an essensial role in a great travel.You can enjoy a beautiful landscape which are  so different from the cities'.It's a good way to release you from the busy daily work.And good food is also a great reward of your hard work and increase the quality of your trip.But I don't think just they two elements can make a perfect vacation.

The most importantly,we human are emotional creature,we need to share happiness,sorrow  or any emotions with others especially our friends.Vacation is no exception.Only if we travel with friends can we get more pleasure.Traveling on you own sometimes can make you feel lonely.I still remembered the trip that  I went to Shanghai for the expos with several friends.We spent lots of unforgetable time together.We never felt boring,even we spent several hours waiting for the entrance of some popular exhibitions.I suppose that if I went there by myself it would probably a terrible vacation.Another advantage of friends I have to mention is that from my view,sharing food with friends make the food more delicious.

Secondly,friends are the people who will help you whenever you meet troubles.When you go on a trip,you possibly go to a
place you are unfamiliar with.And no one can be sure that we won't meet any challenges,varing from languages problem,sudden attack of illness etc.If having a friend accompany with you,you won't feel helpless.Take the example of my experience of going to Hongkong.As we all know,Hongkong has lots of narrow streets and you may easily get lost.I once faced this problem and because of the language problem I can't find my way.Fortunately,I met a students whose chinese was very well and he helped me arrive the destionation.

When you have a vacation,don't forget to take a good friend with you .It’ll undoubtedly make your trip interesting and enjoyable.