坚持好好练习写作，热烈欢迎各位拍砖~

小兔爱twins

From the ancient times to the present, no one who does notexpect success. Certainly, whenever some people always achieve success. （这两句话看了有点变扭） But thereis a public debate today that achieving success is much easier without theirfamily member’s help now than in the past. Under the background of economic,cultural and education loom so large, I believe that it is easy for people toachieve success without their family members’ help now. I have a number ofreasons for feeling this way.（开头看上去有点小啰嗦 在逻辑上有点弱 建议你用个模板来框架一下先。。。）

Now,knowledge is accumulated by multiplying. People gain knowledge more and moreeasy and quick. Compulsory education has been popularity. Some people even willget Master degree and PhD. People’ starting point become much higher now thanin the past. They can think about all kinds of question independently and dosome important decisions without their family members’ help because they areintellectual. However, in the past, people who can not solve problem of foodand clothing, how did they receive good education? For instance, my grandmotherdon’t know word and never go to school, the result is that she must stay thesmall and poor village in the lifetime. Therefore, although your family memberswill not help you succeed, study hard will help you succeed. （我觉得这段说理不够扣题。。）

Moreover,people can receive high level education so that they invent many useful things,which are connection tools and efficiency traffic tools, such as computer,internet, car and train. People connect each other closely. They use this toolsgo to anywhere and talk about anyone. Those tools play a crucial role inbusiness field and relationship of people. People also can become self-employeduse those tools, like electrical business, in this case, it is unnecessary fortheir parents to worry about their children if can find a good job and makemoney. Just image what if people had not so useful and advantage inventions inthe past? They lived in self-world and did not know new information, sometimeswhen they must find a assistant from their family members for a good job. Howdifficult it is to people achieve success!

Finally,we live in times of peace, the legal system in the gradual improvement in mycountry now. Every day is a beautiful day. If you work hard as soon aspossible, you will achieve success by your own energy. But in the past, waroften be happened, World war make people suffer distress and torment, safe andfreedom can not be protected by government, thus they are very difficult becomesuccess in terrible environment.
（这段跟主题似乎不太搭上关系。。。）


Fromwhat has been discussed above, through the history, success may easy ordifficult. Now, we live in a peaceful and equal environment, you can becomesuccess without your relative’s help as long as you will do your utmost to dothings and achieve your goal in life.

看完整篇文章了 感觉有点点牵强。。 建议你多参考几篇范文 然后改善一下观点和论述 这样使得你的说理更有力一些

Yeeisstrong

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: the government and corporation should share all their scientific discoveries with other countries?
    
    We live in a world in which almost every country and people hope to get along with each other. Some developed countries often have a large of scientific discoveries because of their strong comprehensive strength, nevertheless, I believe, the government and corporation which own a number of discoveries should share with the other countries.

    Throughout history, it is absolutely true that human being make so great progress just because countries share with their new discoveries each other, such as three times industrial revolution, scientific invent new vehicles, effective medicines and convenient internet. We share with these new discoveries which add more and more rich and colorful message to our life.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           
    The government and corporation can use their scientific discoveries make a good profit. Some developing and undeveloped countries lack of highly skillful people and scientific tools to do new scientific discoveries, thus they will purchase them from these developed countries. Not only do developed countries make much money contribute to their GDP, but also developing and undeveloped countries get new scientific discoveries to improve people life. Double win comes true and we can live the peace world forever.

    Besides, if the government and corporation share their scientific discoveries, it will contribute to all over the world. Everyone will thank the government and corporation. What a exalted thing it is! People use new vehicles can meet their friends and make an appointment with their customers quickly. Though they have a distance between them, plane will solve the problem, friends will together friendly and business will become successful very much.

  Have you found that the living of people is more and more long?  Just because some new and advantage medicines help many patients and make their health. The government and corporation invest money and skills to research new medicines which share with patients who come from other countries, they bring the patients who will give up life new hope. Therefore the government and corporations save human being and bring new light. Certainly, they will make much money and get some taxes by selling new medical.

    From what has been discussed above, we may draw the conclusion that the government and corporation should share scientific discoveries with other countries, in this way, all the world will make progress and the new discoveries can also make a decent pay. The government and corporation play a significant role in our society and own a high international status.

陈喵喵holdon

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: the government and corporation should share all their scientific discoveries with other countries?
   
   We live in a world in which almost every country and people hope to get along with each other(这一句感觉跟后面有点脱节). Some developed countries often have a large of(a large of略有点奇怪啊.改成a large number of?) scientific discoveries because of their strong comprehensive strength, nevertheless, I believe, the government and corporation which own a number of discoveries should share with the other countries.

   Throughout history, it is absolutely true that human being(beings) make so great progress just because countries share with their new discoveries each other(share sth. with sb.所以应为share their new discoveries with each other), such as three times industrial revolution(三次工业革命这么表达好奇怪), scientific invent new vehicles, effective medicines and convenient internet. We share with these new discoveries which add more and more rich and colorful message(messages) to our life.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           
   The government and corporation can use their scientific discoveries make(to make) a good profit(建议此句跟share稍微联系一下). Some developing and undeveloped countries lack of(be lack of/lack v.) highly skillful people and scientific tools to do new scientific discoveries, thus they will purchase them from these developed countries. Not only do developed countries make much money contribute to their GDP, but also developing and undeveloped countries get new scientific discoveries to improve people life. Double win comes true and we can live the peace world forever.

   Besides, if the government and corporation share their scientific discoveries, it will contribute to all over the world. Everyone will thank the government and corporation. What a exalted thing it is! People use new vehicles can meet their friends and make an appointment with their customers quickly. Though they have a distance between(among) them, plane will solve the problem, friends will together friendly and business will become successful very much(这句话又两个句子,中间断一下另起一句).感觉和第一点有点像,造福整个世界

  Have you found that the living of people is more and more long(much longer)?  Just because some new and advantage medicines help many patients and make their health. The government and corporation invest money and skills to research new medicines which share with patients who come from other countries, they bring the patients who will give up life new hope. Therefore the government and corporations save human being and bring new light(也有点造福全世界的意思,只是造福中的一方面). Certainly, they will make much money and get some taxes by selling new medical(这个和第二点又有点相似,挣钱?).

   From what has been discussed above, we may draw the conclusion that the government and corporation should share scientific discoveries with other countries, in this way, all the world will make progress and the new discoveries can also make a decent pay. The government and corporation play a significant role in our society and own a high international status.

-- by 会员 Yeeisstrong (2012/10/7 21:09:42)

全文应该是两个中心点，造福和谋取利益。
造福中分了好几点，网络，通信，医药什么的。
结构感觉略有一点混乱。
一些小语法要注意。

Yeeisstrong

10.8
People who move out of their native village or town are more successful and happier than who stay in their native village or town for their whole life. A\D



When we are discussing the issue that whether people who live in their native village or town are more successful and happier than who move out of their native village or town, a lot of people, far more than half I guess, holdthe viewpoint that it is successful and happy for people who stay in their native village or town. I always amazed when I hear them say so, since I have an opposite of the view in modern society, people move out of their native village or town are benefit to their success and happiness. Because people can learn colorful and rich culture and history, make many good friends and have a chance to enhance them.



Throughout the china, different place have different culture and history. If you always live in your hometown, you will not understand other more colorful and rich culture and history than your hometown. The example of me matches my point of view perfectly, I leave my hometown to other city, that is Shenyang city. I stay here and learn that northeast people are very peaceful and hot to me, my students who live in Shenyang always help me in life. Besides, there are a large number of delicious food in this city, such as black fungus, double cooked pork slice and sea cucumbers. I have lived in three years and taste much delicious food, my friends once to say I have become a gourmet. What a happy life it is!



What’s more, you can image that you are stay in a small city forever, your life may be not change and still very ordinary. Your dream come true is difficultly. You can move out of other big city, you will change your life style and meet a new life. In this case, you can make new friends who hold many advantage ideas and theories, you will learn a lot of things that you never know. You can get a good job in a great corporation where pay a decent and enhance your ability quickly. As a result, your living standard will be improved and more and more opportunity will say “hello” to you.



Granted, people feel that they move out of place are too distance, so that they can not take care of their parents very well. However, in fact, in modern society we can use many translation tools, for instance, Phone, Email and Facebook, you can easy know your parents who are doing what and even can see them anytime. Besides, many convenience vehicle are contribute to your life, like plane and car, they help you come to your hometown quickly.



All in all, for the reasons listed below, we can safely conduce that people who move out of their native town or village are helpful to their success and happiness. If there is still anyone out there who still questioned why new town or village are contribute to people, and who doubts that why the colorful and rich world would not have an influence on people, and wonders what factors should we consider when we are talking about this issue.(这几句话是背其他人的，是不是不应该写啊，看着就像凑字数？)

Yeeisstrong

TPO 18 综合

    The lecture claims that experts' three ways are not condering to protect nearly ectinct Torreya from Florida. Thus this claim is not in agreement with that of the reading passage, which suggest that three ways are nor perfect.
    
    According to the lecture, experts hold the way that they reestablish  Torreya in the same location where the microclimate is wetter and cooler is not avaliavle and unlikely. This is because although Northern Forida's mircroclimate is very favorable to Torreya's growth,  globing warming is more and more dangerous nowadays, it will make a bad influence in temperture and climate. Clearly, the lectire disproves it's counterpart in the reading passage that moving the Torreya to north Florida is a good way.

    The second point of difference between the lecture and the reading passage concerns that whether moving Torreya to an entirely different location where is far from Florida microclimate is a successful way. The lecture asserts that Torreya thrived in areas much further north will dangerous located plants and even kill trees due to Torreya spread  quikly  very much, rather than, the reading passage believes that Torreya seeds and saplings have been successful planted and grown in forest further north where temperature is matched.

    Finally, regard on the way of protecting Torreya the lecture contends that seeds and sapling are planted in research center a compelling, researchers can not control a large number of plants so that diseases may be born and have a great dangerous. This is direct contradiction with the claim the reading passage that a close monitored environment is easily to ensure Toreya continued survival.

    All in all, on the basis of the evidences presented, the lecture clearly identifies the weakness in the reading passage and show that three ways of experts are not useful.

loveluyuanbai

有点事耽误了啊 马上给你批改

Yeeisstrong

10.9
It's more important for the government to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational devices (such as swimming pool, playgrounds)



When we are discussing the issue that whether the government build art museums and music performance center is more significant than it build recreational devices, many people hold fast to their belief that art museums and music performance center play a more important role in their life, however, I am amazed when I hear people say so, since my opinion is quite the opposite the point, and in modern society recreational devices have a great influence on people’s life. There are several reasons for my view.



In modern society, people need use recreational devices to release themselves and make their bodies stronger and health. Because it is obviously true that people always nowadays undergo great pressure that come from various directions, doing some excises will contribute to their life and mind by recreational devices. They can play football in football ground and swim in the pool, after doing these excises people will feel that their pressure no longer so weight and own a stronger immunity and will have a good efficiency in work and study. What beautiful life it is!





Besides, recreational devices will get together people who have same habits so that they make friends and build their team work sprint. The example of me matches my point of view perfectly, I always play football with other people in the playground, we begin not meet anyone, but after we play football a time, we understand each other and have a good match so that my team get scores very easily. There is no denying that football help me make many good friends and learn how to make a team work.





Finally, the government builds the recreational device also contributed to GDP. Some expensive recreational devices should ask people pay to fees, in this way government will make a great profit to develop other aspects. In addition, business will be developed near the recreational devices. People need purchase thing that about excise, like football, swimming clothes and so forth. It is necessary to people for eating and drinking before or after excising.





All in all, for the reasons listed above, we may safely draw conclusion that the government building recreational devices is important to people very much.

Yeeisstrong

TPO 19

The lecture claims that a new advertisement called "buzzing" have a great influence on people, because people can perchurse many good products by "buzzing". The claim is not in agreement with the reading passage suggests that "buzzing" can mislead and cheat customers, it is not truthful and should be banned now.

According to the lecture, professor believe that "buzzing" is a truthful way, company hire people who really use the products praise the products, such as his phone, which is very useful and great product, thus company hire him.Clearly, the lecture disproves it's counterpart in the reading passage that a person praising a product is untruthfully and gives customer wrong information.

Secondly ,the lecture believe that buzzer tell some feeling from price, serves and how long to use it about the product, the feeling is a good answer about whether the product is really and useful. However, the reading passage asserts that buzzers only pretend their own ideas and consumers are being lobbied, as a result, buzzing could harmful to consumers really.

Finally, regarding the "buzzing" is good or bad the lecture contends that if company products bad products, they will not hire buzzer to introduce these products. The professor loves his phone after trying it and has a good experience. This is direct contraction with the reading passage that untruthful buzzing has a harmful impart on social relationship, and it develops dishonesty.

All in all, on the basis of the evidence presented, the lecture clearly indentifies the weakness in the reading passage and show that "buzzing" is really a good helper to people.

vanessa923

黄亮精彩，蓝色建议，红色错误。

When we are discussing the issue that whether people who live in their native village or town are more successful and happier than （those）  who move out of their native village or town, a lot of people, far more than half I guess, holdthe viewpoint that it is successful and happy for people who stay in their native village or town. I always amazed when I hear them say so, since I have an opposite of the view in modern society, people move out of their native village or town are benefit to（什么意思？） their success and happiness. Because people can learn colorful and rich culture and history, make many good friends and have a chance to enhance them（enhance what? be more specific.).



Throughout the china, different places have different culture and history. If you always live in your hometown, you will not understand other more colorful and rich culture and history than your hometown. The example of me matches my point of view perfectly, I leave my hometown to other city, that is(-) Shenyang city. I stay here and learn that northeastern people are very peaceful(try another adj,like hospitable) and hot to me, my students(?) who live in Shenyang always help me in life. Besides, there are a large number of delicious food in this city, such as muer, guobaorou and haishen. I have lived in three years and tasted much delicious food, andmy friends once to say I have become a gourmet. What a happy life it is!



What’s more, you can image that you are stay in a small city forever, your life may be not change and still very ordinary. Your dream come true is difficultly. You can move out of other big city, you will change your life style and meet(meet的用法表示疑问） a new life. In this case, you can make new friends who hold many advantage ideas and theories, you will learn a lot of things that you never know. You can get a good job in a great corporation where pay a decen（缺宾语）t and enhance your ability quickly. As a result, your living standard will be improved and more and more opportunity will say “hello” to you.



Granted, people feel that they move out of place are too distance, so that they can not take care of their parents very well. However, in fact, in modern society we can use many translation tools, for instance, Phone, Email and Facebook, （是 translation tools么？）you can easy know your parents who are doing what and even can see them anytime. Besides, many convenience vehicle are contribute to your life, like plane and car, they help you come to your hometown quickly.



All in all, for the reasons listed below, we can safely conduce that people who move out of their native town or village are helpful to their success and happiness. If there is still anyone out there who still questioned why new town or village are contribute to people, and who doubts that why the colorful and rich world would not have an influence on people, and wonders what factors should we consider when we are talking about this issue.(这几句话是背其他人的，是不是不应该写啊，看着就像凑字数？)
最后一句话有错误的说。

基本的词汇与短语的用法很有待加强。
逻辑什么的可以再加强。

Catherie

TPO 19

不好意思改晚了

红色标注是错误或新增词汇

黄色    是建议

The lecture claims that a new advertisement called"buzzing" have a great influence on people, because people can perchurse (purchase)manygood products by "buzzing". The claim is not in agreement(disagrees) with the readingpassage （that估计你是想写成同位语从句或定语从句，但是你这弄成了一个主语从句，此时连接词that 不能省略）suggeststhat "buzzing" can mislead and cheat customers, and (两个分句要用连词连接)itis not truthful and should be banned now.

最后一句话有语法问题，出现了多个主谓语。其实你可以分成两句来写，不要把自己和看的人都绕晕了^^

. Theclaim disagrees with the reading passage. The reading suggests that "buzzing"can mislead and cheat customers, and it is not truthful and should bebanned now.

According to the lecture, professor(student/speaker) believe that "buzzing" is a truthful way,company hire people who really use the products to praisethe products, such as his phone, which is very useful and great product, thus. Thus, company hire him.Clearly（Obviously/Evidently）, the lecture disproves it's(its) counterpart(这个词你是不是打错了？？这是副本的意思) in the reading passage that a person praisinga product is untruthfully and gives customer wrong information.

Secondly ,the lecture believe that buzzer tell somefeeling from price, serves（service）and how long to use it about the product, .The feeling is a good answer about whether theproduct is really and useful. However, the reading passage asserts that buzzersonly pretend their own ideas and consumers are being lobbied, as a result,buzzing could harmful to consumers really.

Finally, regarding the "buzzing" is good or bad,(前一个分词短语和后面的主句有逗号隔开) the lecture contends that if company products（produces） bad products, they will not hire buzzer to introducethese products.(这句话没有和听力原文的内容有差异) Theprofessor loves his phoneafter trying it and has a good experience. This is direct contraction（contract） with the reading passage that untruthfulbuzzing has a harmful impart on social relationship, and it developsdishonesty.

All in all, on the basis of the evidence presented, thelecture clearly indentifies the weakness in the reading passage and show that"buzzing" is really a good helper to people.

听力部分需要提取的观点是：

- Main point: 阅读部分对口碑营销的观点是错误的

- Sub point 1: 托儿在推销产品的时候不会说谎

- Sub point 2: 人们不会盲目信任口碑营销

- Sub point 3: 口碑营销可以促进人与人之间的信任
你大体上都说到了，你在细看一下。