求批改！！ 要狠批！！！！！

墨明棋妙2

Do you agree or disagree the following statement? Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy and less satisfied than people in the past.



With the development of technology nowadays, the world is changing quickly. More and more products are invented for the convenience. In my opinion, i don't agree the statement that people now are less happy and less satisfied than people in the past.
First of all, in the past, people were not willing to go far away from home. That was because they could not to contact with their family, if they were far away from home. For example, my grandfather was ever far away from home for his work. And he told me latter that he were not happy when he were away from home. However, These all changes with the telephone invented. Now, people can go wherever they want to go, regardless of the long distance from home. That is because they can communicate with family by telephone, wherever they are. So they are happy and satisfied about the life with telephone.
Secondly, in the past, people have less chances to be educated. Even though people could go to school for education, school's education was expansive and needed much time. Many people could not afford them. People , in the past could not be happy and satisfied with their life.But, now it is a big difference. Internet is coming. People can go through everything by internet. If they have no much time to go to school, they can be educated by internet education. And they can learn acknowledge from internet.  Also, they can make friends in the internet, which could not be done in the past. I know my best friends in the internet. So people are more happy and satisfied than people in the past.
Finally, because the world is changing so quickly, people need to face more challenges. These challenges are also chances for people who are ready. In the past, people had no chances that were unconventional to succeed. On the other hand, today is time to attain success whatever you want to do, In instance, Bill Gates does not need to complete his study in University. If Bill Gates was in the past, His drop would never be permitted. Then he just started his job in computers. After a lot of difficulties, his company got the Number 1. And he became the richest man. This example tell us today is full of chances. Are you a brave person? Are you full of enthusiasm? Are you ready for success? So, what are waiting for ? Let's start our dream,now! So, i cannot agree that people now are less happy and less satisfied than people in the past, because the world is changing so quickly.

In a word, Although the world is changing so quickly, people are still happy and satisfied, because of the telephone and, Internet, and chances, and so on!

超级无敌小鹤鹤

句式上过于单一，存在一定的语法错误

建议你跟着小分队练，这样可以安排互改，不然很难保证你的作文能够被认真的批改。。。

超级无敌小鹤鹤

建议你们两个互改
http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-758155-1-1.html#last