白冬冬916就要考，独立写作恳请大家多拍砖! 楼主一定回访！

白冬冬

8.29     独立写作(一)
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Among all successful people's character，communication skilli is the most important。
Intro：虽然成功人士大多数有很高的communication skill，但是单有它并不足够
一段：各行各业的人，要成功，人际关系和人脉很重要
二段：还有其他很多的品质，是不可或缺的
三段：只有各种品质协调发展才能成功
总结
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It might be tempting to suggest that the connection and networking are the most essential edges in this society, and therefore to communicate efficiently and effectively is utmost important. I do not deny that successful people, such as Steve Jobs, always possess excellent communication skill, but I believe that this skill alone is far from sufficient. Some other personalities play a no less or even greater role contributing to success.

Firstly, to set up and maintain relationship with others indeed calls for good communication, while successful people from all walks of life require harmony network. Cases are not rare in daily life. In business world, managers need to express themselves effectively to set up a proposal; persuasive sales people must constantly change their methods according to the situation, when they promote products in differentiated channels. In the academic field, professors need to efficiently illuminate the new discovery and explain students' questions. Hence, we cannot emphasize the importance of effective communication skills more, for people who want to grasp success.

Nonetheless, compared with the communication skills, some personalities play a no less or even greater role contributing to the thriving people. On one hand, different positions call for specific skills. For instance, for craftsman and artisan, practiced manufacturing skills are indispensable, while athletes and entertainers especially attach importance to their specialty. On the other hand, qualities such as perseverance and spirit of studious are equally critical to success. A fine case in point is that Thomas Edison, a silent, precise man with a pair of deep-sunken eyes, never talked too much but achieved tens of invention. Although he quit school in early age and suffered from poverty, he went through all these and never gave up. That's why he could become successful.

Furthermore, I believe that it is the corresponding development of all personalities that lays the basis for success. Indeed, there exist so many kinds of characteristics and various opportunities for success. Those who can only express themselves clearly but cannot work in harmony in the group may not easily make a difference. Talented communication skill does favor an eloquent orator to succeed, but without creativity and critical-thinking, Steve Jobs might not perfect his products and surprise the world.

To put it in nutshell, success calls for many striking characteristics, among which, communication skill is indeed important. But it is insufficient to view it as the most indispensable one.

pedrohuo

看这个帖子。加入托福写作小分队啊。大家一起写一样的内容。来进行互改。
http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-741014-1-1.html
我也是昨天才加入的。

白冬冬

8.29 独立写作【第二篇】
What is the main role of the university professor, to educate students or to do research?

More students get access to universities today, but they likewise start to be annoyed with a problem never met before—some professors are scarcely to be in touch with. Even though these professors enjoy high reputations for their research accomplishment, their students are even confused with many basic theories. Cases are not rare especially in graduate schools, and this is why I argue that professors should serve as educators but not researchers in the universities.

To begin with, different from that of researchers, it is the responsibility of college professors to guide their students. On one hand, students who initially enter the university know little about the fields they chose; hence, they need guidance to draw a general picture. Only the professors with rich experience in teaching are able to convey abundant and specialized knowledge to them. On the other hand, vital introductory courses should be offered by experienced professors. For students majoring in arts and literature, such courses as "Methodology Instruction", are crucial to grasp the gust of the discipline; while for others focusing on science and technology, practices under the guidance of professors are likewise essential. According to recent research from Beijin University, for instance, seventy percent of freshmen and sophomores prefer professors to be their teachers, for they believe the professors hold more experience than the young teachers do.

Furthermore, imparting students with specialized knowledge and skills can truly benefit professors to do research. Even though some hold that the deeper one professor delves into, the more productive he or she will be, I have to cast doubt on that. Young students are more critical, and are less hedged in with rules and regulations, which can assist professors to get rid from fixed thinking pattern. Meanwhile, training students to be better equipped with research capability accords with the demands of sustainable development.

If all professors simply do research rather than teach students, the education level of the next generation will retrograde. Hence, I believe that professors should give priority to educating rather research.  
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本篇憋了一个多小时，还是没有什么例子。空洞死了。
还请大家多指教啊！！！！

白冬冬

8.30独立作文

题目：  eople are now easier to become educated than in the past?

The past decades have witnessed tremendous economic and technological changes, which reshaped our social environment and lifestyles completely. Owing to government regulation, advanced technology and upswing education industry, people are definitely easier to get access to education resources and become more educated than before.

First and foremost, there is no gainsaying that the government plays an important role in universal education. Thanks to the compulsory education policy, children in China currently can enter primary school with a low tuition fee, while those who are striking under the poverty-stricken line can even go to school freely. For junior high school students, besides the basic disciplines, more special curriculums are offered, which can be chosen according to students' individual interests. As for senior school students, college entrance examination is no more the only method to get universities' admission, since some talented students, who possess such specialties as piano or violin, can receive the admission in advance. Students in college can even receive national loan, which tremendously enhances the opportunity for students who could not afford the tuition fee before. So supportive the government policy is that the education system has covered most regions and it is obvious that students of all ages receive an education more easily.

Secondly, thanks to the innovative facilities, people nowadays can receive an education in a more convenience way. Inside the college, students currently benefit a lot from various teaching tools, such as slides and visual-audio equipment. Outside the college, however, people can get access to education under more circumstances. A good case in point is the web-based courses. Universities, for instance, Yale and Harvard, provide open-courses, which can be downloaded from the Internet. Meanwhile, many office workers currently participated in Network Education Academe to enhance their skills and capabilities. Some companies, such as accounting firms, can even equip audits and accounts with electronic note-pads, which help them learn by themselves at any place and time..

Furthermore, many education training centers spring up like mushrooms in major cities, which offer more choices for people who wish to learn. On no account could we deny that some of the training centers are not as qualified as others. But the ones that possess good reputations definitely make a contribution to people from all walks of life. New Oriental, for example, which is the earliest English training corporation in China, have already helped tens and thousands of students to enhance their English skills in the preceding thirty years. On the other hand, some other centers can provide training for teachers from elementary schools, which are essential for solidifying basic education.

To put it in a nutshell, not only due to support from the government, but also due to the advanced technology and training centers, people today have more opportunities to receive education today.

steigen

同学，我是负责批改你的8.29独立写作的  我没看见你上传啊~~

白冬冬

亲，第一篇和第二篇都是8.29的独立写作，不好意思我没有改标题~~造成无解了
今天有时间帮我改改吧~~~！
多谢多谢啦~~

Stegosaurus

我也是9月16号考，共勉！！！

fuzhengrui

感觉写的很好。。。顶！！

steigen

It might be tempting to suggest that the connection and networking are the most essential edges in this society, and therefore to communicate efficiently and effectively is utmost important. I do not deny that successful people, such as Steve Jobs, always possess excellent communication skill, but I believe that this skill alone is far from sufficient. Some other personalities play a no less or even greater role contributing to success. (觉得开场就非常好，引入背景到一得到自己的结论)

Firstly, to set up and maintain relationship with others indeed calls for good communication, while successful people from all walks of life require harmony network. Cases are not rare in daily life. In business world, managers need to express themselves effectively to set up a proposal; persuasive sales people must constantly change their methods according to the situation, when they promote products in differentiated channels. In the academic field, professors need to efficiently illuminate （在这里illuminate不知道用的恰不恰当，本人觉得是illustrate是否更好些）the new discovery and explain students' questions. Hence, we cannot emphasize the importance of effective communication skills more, for people who want to grasp success. （这个段落例子写的是蛮好的，但是这段主题是harmony network 对吗？ 这段有个更加简单明了的结论就更好了）



Nonetheless, compared with the communication skills, some personalities play a no less or even greater role contributing to the thriving people. On one hand, different positions call for specific skills. For instance, for craftsman and artisan, practiced manufacturing skills are indispensable, while athletes and entertainers especially attach importance to their specialty. On the other hand, qualities such as perseverance and spirit of studious are equally critical to success. A fine case in point is that Thomas Edison, a silent, precise man with a pair of deep-sunken eyes, never talked too much but achieved tens of invention. Although he quit school in early age and suffered from poverty, he went through all these and never gave up. That's why he could become successful.（这段写的真的很精彩，收获很多啊~~）

Furthermore, I believe that it is the corresponding development of all personalities that lays the basis for success. Indeed, there exist so many kinds of characteristics and various opportunities for success. Those who can only express themselves clearly but cannot work in harmony in the group may not easily make a difference. Talented communication skill does favor an eloquent orator to succeed, but without creativity and critical-thinking, Steve Jobs might not perfect his products and surprise the world.

To put it in nutshell, success calls for many striking characteristics, among which, communication skill is indeed important. But it is insufficient to view it as the most indispensable one.

觉得语言方面，整体结构的把握上我都挑不出什么毛病啊。 批改亲的作文让小女子收获颇多啊~~~
要是有个专门的让不段，简单说明下communication skills也很重要的小例子，完了再让步回来说其他方面也很重要
这样的话，可能会让论点更加完整写吧。  我是一个接触托福不久的鸟人，有什么不对的地方，请多多谅解哈~~

steigen

More students get access to universities today, but they likewise start to be annoyed with a problem never met before—some professors are scarcely to be in touch with. Even though these professors enjoy high reputations for their research accomplishment（high reputation和accomplishment是不是有点重复呢）, their students are even confused with many basic theories. Cases are not rare especially in graduate schools,（我觉得这个缩小范围至graduate schools 可以不要） and this is why I argue that professors should serve as educators but not researchers in the universities.

To begin with, different from that of researchers, it is the responsibility of college professors to guide their students. On one hand, students who initially enter the university know little about the fields they chose; hence, they need guidance to draw a general picture. Only the professors with rich experience in teaching are able to convey abundant and specialized knowledge to them. On the other hand, vital（vital这个词给我感觉是生死攸关的意味比较重…） introductory courses should be offered by experienced professors. For students majoring in arts and literature, such courses as "Methodology Instruction", are crucial to grasp the gust of the discipline; while for others focusing on science and technology, practices under the guidance of professors are likewise essential. According to recent research from Beijing University, for instance, seventy percent of freshmen and sophomores prefer professors to be their teachers, for they believe the professors hold more experience than the young teachers do. (这个段落似乎有两个分论点，但是本人觉得这两个分论点很相似，可以用一个来写)

Furthermore, imparting students with specialized knowledge and skills can truly benefit professors to do research. Even though some hold that the deeper one professor delves into, the more productive he or she will be, I have to cast doubt on that. Young students are more critical, and are less hedged in with rules and regulations, which can assist professors to get rid from fixed thinking pattern. Meanwhile, training students to be better equipped with research capability accords with the demands of sustainable development. （之后可以加一个简单的，怎么样让research做的更好的例子）

If all professors simply do research rather than teach students, the education level of the next generation will retrograde. Hence, I believe that professors should give priority to educating rather research.



语言是真的很好。句子之间的逻辑关系也很强。但是第二段我觉得有点啰嗦了，

可以简单的写下第二段，同时可以再加入一段让步段落或者是写关于不光传授知识，而且还要让他们学会做人等等，，，写的真的蛮好的~得好好学习下你的语言了~~