给自己点动力,写作文！求各路大神犀利指导~\(≧▽≦)/~

winnie98

请大家狠拍！
请大神赐教。

作文写的慢，担心30min写不完



PS：虽然请求狠拍，也得看准了再拍，千万别乱拍...

winnie98

8.13独立：know about the events happening around the world that do not affect our life.D\A



With the staggering development of contemporary society, the fast-paced way of life has rendered that many individuals are occupied with a whole load of work and deprived of time to focus on worldwide events. Thus, some people believe that there is no need to know about international events which do not give influence on their daily life. However, I personally consider that we should know what vital events happened all over the world as following aspects.

To begin with, knowing world circumstances enable us to follow the rapid steps of the world. It is universally acknowledged that international cooperation has become indispensable part of our lives and it has been exerting profound influence on the way we work. Therefore, if we ignore the world occurrence, lack of correct judgment regarding multinational cooperation will ensue. Take an international company for example, when they invest in an abroad project, knowing the local events, such as politics, local consumption habits and security, cannot only help them decide how to make the project for adapting to the local economic environment, but also for making maximum profit. Thus, knowing international events really give us positive influence that we can enlarge our business and reduce risks in oversea markets.

Furthermore, it is apparent that there are a growing number of people to go abroad for further education. Before they go oversea, they should know something concerning the events of the foreign countries to adapt the local lifestyle and different culture. A recent study conducted by the Chinese Ministry of Education reveals that before Chinese students go abroad, a increasing number of them prefer to go to the target countries for travel in advance, rather than for further education directly. This atmosphere witnesses that current students tend to be rational, which means they would like to kwon whether they are really fond of the foreign countries and can adapt to the different lifestyle. Consequently, such positive situation attributes to the effective utilization of international information and events.

In addition, knowing international information can enrich our edge and offer a large proportion of opportunities for us to accumulate new experience. To illustrate, when I was a junior student in university, I found an oversea internship of summer vacation by Internet. With the vacation beginning, I did this internship in a Japanese enterprise located in Tokyo. Although the period of internship is short, I still learnt a plenty of things which I could not understand on campus and also expanded my outlook. Thus, it is undeniable that I accept the influence by knowing worldwide information.

Taking all these points into consideration, I am convinced that modern people need to know international events, on grounds that we are affected on the way we work, learn and live.

winnie98

8.14综合：TPO12

求大神狠批！！！~~~~~~

The reading material makes the point that a teenage girl in a professional painted, full-length portrait, which recently has been come up for sale, is Jane Austen, even though there is no title in the professional painting. However, the professor in the lecture refutes this viewpoint. He contends that it is debatable and problematic.

First, the passage interprets that Austen family has clearly claimed that the girl in the portrait is Jane Austen, owing to the illustration in an edition of her letters. In contrast, the professor argues that when the Austen family announced this viewpoint, Jane has been dead for roughly seventy   years. That means the family members themselves failed to see her, thus their evidence did not have persuasion.

Second, the professor argues against the point in the passage that the girl is Jane, on grounds that the face in the portrait resembles the one in Cassandra’s sketch, which we know depicts Austen. He asserts that the Austen family had a large proportion of family members and would have many teenagers, who really might resemble the character in the Cassandra’s sketch, such as the cousins of Jane. According to the lecture, the similar face still cannot demonstrate the point of the passage.

Third, the professor says that Ozias Humphrey, a social portrait painter, did not start to sell his masterpieces in London until Jane was twenty years old. Thus, it is a persuasive proof that Jane was older than the girl Humphrey painted. This viewpoint is contrary to the idea presented in the reading material that Humphrey was active between late 1780s and early 1790s, when Jane Austen was the same age of the painted girl.

Kerouac

Thus, some people believe that there is no need to（这里可以替换一些高级词needless to,不过要是追求字数，还是你这个好）know about international events which do not give influence on their daily life.


To begin with, knowing world circumstances enable us to follow the rapid steps of the world. It is universally acknowledged （universally acknowledged 是指普遍公认的。。。。还是普遍公认，that对于公认作解释？） that international cooperation has become indispensable part of our lives and (and 前后不一致，has become and has been exerting) it has been exerting profound influence on the way we work (这句话读起来有点拗口，on the way we work). Therefore, if we ignore the world occurrence, lack of correct judgment regarding multinational cooperation will ensue(ensue是动词，放到最后不太恰当，后面无所指了）. Take an international company for example, when they invest in an abroad project, knowing the local events, such as politics, local consumption habits(消费习惯，两个都是名词） and security, cannot only help them decide how to make the project for adapting to the local economic environment, but also for making maximum profit. Thus, knowing international events really give us positive influence that we can enlarge our business and reduce risks in oversea markets.


Furthermore, it is apparent that there are a growing number of people to go abroad for further education. Before they go oversea, they should know something concerning the events of the foreign countries to adapt the local lifestyle and different culture. A recent study conducted by the Chinese Ministry of Education reveals that before Chinese students go abroad, a increasing number of them prefer to go to the target countries for travel in advance, rather than for further education directly. This atmosphere witnesses that current students tend to be rational, which means they would like to kwon（这是什么意思）whether they are really fond of the foreign countries and can adapt to the different lifestyle. Consequently, such positive situation attributes to the effective utilization of international information and events.


In addition, knowing international information can enrich our edge and offer a large proportion of opportunities（提供很多机会，proportion我觉得可以去掉） for us to accumulate new experience. To illustrate, when I was a junior student in university, I found an oversea internship of summer vacation by Internet. With the vacation beginning, I did this internship in a Japanese enterprise located in Tokyo. Although the period of internship is short, I still learnt a plenty of things which I could not understand（这个好像只有动词解释吧？动词+on campus ,是说这个动词是接前面的things?我语法不太好哈） on campus and also expanded my outlook. Thus, it is undeniable that I accept the influence by knowing worldwide information（这个knowing在这里是什么意思？难以预料的？）.

klllun

winnie, 诶，昨天的独立没有上呀。。。好吧，我灰扭扭滴走掉

margrate

The reading material makes the point that a teenage girl in a professional painted, full-length portrait, which recently has been come up for sale, is Jane Austen, even though there is no title in the professional painting. However, the professor in the lecture refutes this viewpoint. He contends that it is debatable and problematic.
You can use ‘point’ in place of ‘makes the point’;
I made the same mistake with you----Questions: summarize the points made in the lecture. So I think in the 1^st paragraph, we have to summarize the main idea of the lecture, rather than the content of the passage.
First, the passage interprets that Austen family has clearly claimed that the girl in the portrait is Jane Austen, owing to the illustration in an edition of her letters. In contrast, the professor argues that when the Austen family announced this viewpoint, Jane has been dead for roughly seventy   years. That means the family members themselves failed to see her, thus their evidence did not have persuasion.

Second, the professor argues against the point in the passage that the girl is Jane, on (the) grounds that the face in the portrait resembles the one in Cassandra’s sketch, which we know depicts Austen. He asserts that the Austen family had a large proportion offamily members and would have many teenagers, who really might resemble the character in the Cassandra’s sketch, such as the cousins of Jane. According to the lecture, the similar face still cannot demonstrate the point of the passage.

Third, the professor says that Ozias Humphrey, a social portrait painter, did not start to sell his masterpieces in London until Jane was twenty years old. Thus, it is a persuasive proof that Jane was older than the girl Humphrey painted. This viewpoint is contrary to the idea presented in the reading material that Humphrey was active between late 1780s and early 1790s, when Jane Austen was the same age of the painted girl

1. It is not Ozias Humphrey who sold the canvas. It’s another man in the lecture. The lecture tell us the painter whose painting canvas had not been sold by “the another man”, who sold the painting canvas to Ozias Humphrey at a late time when JA was 27 years old.2. ‘Contray’ is a noun, rather than an adjective; you can use ‘contradictory’ instead.

In conclusion, you have mastered the main points of the lecture. And I suggest you’d better put the three points of the lecture at the beginning of each paragraph. Your arrangement is also appropriate.Any questions, please contact me.



Any questions, please contact me.

winnie98

8.14独立：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Although science and technology will continue to improve, the most significant improvement for the quality of people's lives have already taken place


As modern high technology is rapidly developing, there is a controversial issue that the most vital improvement for the quality of our lives has occurred, even though science and technology will increasingly continue to improve. However, I personally believe that we still have a host of problems regarding the life quality and need to continuously enhance our technology, rather than just feel satisfied with current improvement as the following aspects.

Apparently, we have a large proportion of serious problems which still have no effective measures to figure out and pose a threat to our daily life. Take the air pollution for example.The air pollution has become an indispensable part of problems we need to address and it has been exerting profound influence on the way we live. A recent research conducted by the Chinese Ministry of Environment reveals that there are a growing number of people who get sickness owing to the negative influence of air pollution on their health. Thus, it is imperative that scientists are supposed to focus on how to decrease the air pollution, purify the air and enhance the air quality. Obviously, modern scientists have not found out the most satisfactory approaches to tackle the serious air problems. Consequently, it cannot be considered that we have already studied the most crucial hi-tech invention, on grounds that there are still a host of troubles concerning our lives.

Furthermore, there is no evaluation criteria to judge which improvement is the most significant for our lives. For instance, one invention of vehicles enables people to travel to anywhere and directly meet friends. In addition, vehicles also make it possible that commercial goods would be transported to every country, while that would not be realized in the past. Another one is the cell phone which brings us great convenience. A phone call can help people communicate with each other conveniently and quickly, even though they are in different cities, provinces or even nations. Compared with vehicles, we cannot just say the cell phone play a more important role in our lives than the vehicles, because both of them impact us and enhance our life quality tremendously.

Taking all above points into consideration, I am convinced that the striking promotion of science and technology will generate useful and advanced inventions that give us far more positive improvement on the life quality in the future than its counterpart at present.

我知道应该写5段，主体写3段，但是主体最后一段我实在不知道写什么合适~~~~(>_<)~~~~
求赐教

winnie98

不好意思，我白天没在家。刚刚写完

klllun

winnie虫子明天来改哈，占个位子先

winnie98

8.15独立：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes


There is a common atmosphere that, the young, who are not psychologically mature, have not built so complete values and outlook on life. During this period, they sometimes tend to hold biased viewpoints and then may make mistakes. Thus, recently, that brings about a controversial issue that whether parents should allow their children to make mistakes. Some people assert that parents should help children avoid doing things in error as far as possible, so that children can be kept away from both physical and psychological harm. However, I personally believe that forgiveness should be allowed as the following aspects.

It is universally agreed that practice makes perfect. Deciding how to address problems personally can enhance children’s ability of analyzing and dealing with problems, even though they may make mistakes. However, some parents believe that they can conduct their children with their abundant life experience which can give children correct selections and avoid children make similar mistakes as parents. Besides that, parents prefer to arrange the whole things that the young can get a shortcut to grow excellent, rather than give children chances to decide by themselves, In contrast, excessively paying attention and doting on children will render children are hardly able to make decisions by themselves and difficult to becoming successful after they grow up, because they fail to know how to confront troubles. Even though there may be some errors children make, the benefits of decision by themselves outweigh its drawbacks.

Furthermore, even if parents make arrangement for children, it is still impossible that children can never do things in error. When children make mistakes, parents should actually take consideration regarding the approaches that how to rectify children’s mistakes. For instance, a child made an error that the time that he should have learnt at home was utilized for playing computer games. When his parents found this circumstance, not only did parents mention his error immediately, but also played the computer games with him. Afterwards, his parents told him that he should focus on knowledge at the time of learning, while he should enjoy the leisure activities at leisure time. If he played games at learning time instead of learning, he should give negative influence on both sides. After that, the child listened to his parents and utilized the suitable time on suitable things. Consequently, making mistakes is not serious, as long as there are correct approaches to help children recognize the errors and learn a lesson from errors.

However, mistakes also have drawbacks when it brings children benefits. If children begin to get accustomed to make errors, that will impel children live in the negative way and form incorrect values. In this situation, parents should give the young correct psychological direction, prevent children from often making errors, and arrange some part of children’s things. By contrast, parents still should give children space to make decision by themselves, correct their mistakes in patience, and let them learn from their own mistakes.

Taking all the above points into consideration, I am convinced that allowing children’s mistakes and making them learn a lesson from mistakes are relatively rational.