虫子要拿下T——一口啃掉综合写作!!!

winnie98

批改8月17日

The lecturer points out that getting rid of the cane toad will neither be successful nor do good to the whole environment. However, the reading passage gives some advantages that stop thespread of the cane toad in Australia.

Firstly, what the readingasserts is that the fence would prevent the spread of the toad. Unfortunately,the professor in the lecture says that because the young toad and toad eggs areusually in the river or the stream, it is unlikely to stop the spreading by thefence. Moreover, since the flowing river, it is quite easy to bring the toad toanother side. Thus, the toad would survive even the fence built.

Secondly, according to the lecture,the professor says even though the volunteers would like to pick up the youngtoad and the toad eggs, they could not tell the difference between the eggs offrogs and that of toads. Plus, the distinguish(只有v.用法) job will be much more difficultwhen the both of them are so young. In fact, the collective effort suggested inthe reading will not contribute to the expect consequence.

Thirdly, contrary to theidea in the reading that new virus developed by the researchers will help solvethe problem, the lecturer refutes that in the south America, where is the regionalplace of toads, virus will lead to a limited number of toads, which do harm tothe whole environment. Plus, on the grounds that the reptile and amphibianusually bring to other places by the researchers, they could be brought to thesouth America. As a result, the regional place of toads will face abig problem.

写的越来越好，整体思路结构都很清晰。
加油

klllun

8.19 TPO17

The lecturer points out that the idea that there will be fewer and fewerbirds is unconvincing. However, the reading gives some reasons that thepopulation of bird is going to decline. The professor totally disagrees.

First of all, in the urban areas, the professors says, they will providebetter environment for some birds, such as sea eagles, pigeons, and hawks whichare seldom seen in cities. In other words, there are some species might shrink,but other animals will be benefit from the new habitats, prompting the increaseof their population. Plus, this is not a universally decline. Thus, the idea inthe reading is not true at all.

Secondly, what the lecturer asserts is that the agricultural activitieswill lead to more variety crops instead of limited crops which were grown onthe land before. More crops do good to birds rather than do harm to them. Incontrast, the reading contends that those activities would cause furtherdestruction of bird habitats. Virtually, based on the reason professor givesabove, this idea is false.

Third, contrary to the reading passage that the pesticides result in thedecrease of the bird population, the lecturer refutes by two reasons. To beginwith, she claims that the pesticides are newly developed. Secondly, there are cropswhich are genetically combined so they have less chemical particles in them.Finally, they don't hurt birds. Consequently, the last reason suggested in thepassage is unwarranted.

陈喵喵holdon

8.19 TPO17

The lecturer points out that the idea that there will be fewer and fewerbirds is unconvincing. However, the reading gives some reasons that thepopulation of bird is going to decline. The professor totally disagrees(这个句子简单句如果跟前面的结合变成复合句表达是不是更好一点?).

First of all, in the urban areas, the professors says, they will providebetter environment for some birds, such as sea eagles, pigeons, and hawks whichare seldom seen in cities. In other words, there are some species might shrink,but other animals will be benefit from the new habitats, prompting the increaseof their population(由于这一部分我有些鸟类的名字没听懂,而且你写的跟我写的也有出入特地去看了下原文,好像是说居民抱怨城市里海鸥和鸽子太多,而一些不太出没的鸟类例如老鹰什么的却出现捕食鸽子什么的,所以一些鸟类减少,而另一些鸟类实际增加了.好像跟原文有出入). Plus(Plus可以这么用吗??), this is not a universally decline. Thus, the idea inthe reading is not true at all(感觉这里也跟听力有出入,lecturer是承认reading里面有一部分是true的).

Secondly, what the lecturer asserts is that the agricultural activitieswill lead to more variety crops instead of limited crops which were grown onthe land before. More crops do good to birds rather than do harm to them. Incontrast, the reading contends that those activities would cause furtherdestruction of bird habitats. Virtually, based on the reason professor givesabove, this idea is false.

Third, contrary to the reading passage that the pesticides result in thedecrease of the bird population, the lecturer refutes by two reasons. To beginwith, she claims that the pesticides are newly developed. Secondly, there are cropswhich are genetically combined so they have less chemical particles in them.Finally, they don't hurt birds(前面写了2reasons,这里列了begin with, secondly, finally三点?). Consequently, the last reason suggested in thepassage is unwarranted.

-- by 会员 klllun (2012/8/19 21:24:56)

Hiiiiiii虫子,除了内容上有些出入以外，感觉你语言很简洁表意很明确啊值得学习！
不过感觉单句短句有点多适当连接一下,多用点复合句哈~

klllun

The professor in the lecture totallydisagrees with the solutions of saving Torreya in the passage. She says thethree options provided in the reading passage will not lead to the satisfactoryoutcome.

To begin with, the lecturer points out thatthe same location of the Torreya would be different, which is not suitable forthe growth of Torreya. Since the global warming is spread out the world, thenorthern part of Florida is influenced by the effect. Thus, the drier place isnot ideal for the tree any more. In other words, the solution of reestablishingTorreya on the same place is not believable.

Secondly, contrary to the argument in thereading passage that move Torreya to a new place, where the environment is moresuited to its survival, the professor asserts that the potential problem.Because Black Noka trees once were moved to a new environment, they hurt thespecies of plants which are native to the new location. Plus, some speciesthreaten by the transplanted trees will soon become extinct. Thus, this optioncould not be favorable.

Third, the author of the reading passagessays that preserving Torreya in the monitored environment contributes to thesurvival. In contrast, the professor contends, according the lecture, that thetrees will not survive in the monitored environment, on the grounds that theywould not have the capacity of defending the disease.

sherryzhangh

In the lecture, the professor totally disagrees with the solutions ofsaving Torreya that brought out in the reading passage. She says claims that the three options provided in thereading passage will not lead to the satisfactory outcomes.

To begin with, the lecturerpoints out that the same location of the Torreya would be different (difficult), because it which(这是谁的从句？)  is not suitablefor the growth of Torreya. Since the global warming is spread out the world,the northern part of Florida is influenced by the effect. Thus, the drier placeis not ideal for the tree any more. In other words, the solution of reestablishingTorreya on the same place is not believable.

Secondly, contrary to theargument in the reading passage that move Torreya to a new place, where theenvironment is more suited to its survival, the professor asserts that (that 后面要跟从句呀，主 谓 宾都要齐全呀)may brings the potentialproblem. Because Black Noka trees once were moved to a new environment, theyhurt the other species of plants, whichare native to the new location. Plus, some species threaten by the transplantedtrees will soon become extinct. Thus, this option could not be favorable.

Third, the author of the reading passages saysthat preserving Torreya in the monitored environment contributes to the survival.In contrast, the professor contends, according the lecture, (逗号去掉，逗号后面的从句一般用which,但是这个不适合。)that the trees will not survive in the monitoredenvironment, on the grounds that they would not have the capacity of defendingthe disease.

klllun

TPO 19In the lecture, the person claims that theargument in the reading passage, which suggests that the buzzed advertisementis problematic, is totally misleading. And he gives the responses below.


First of all, the reading passage makeswrong assumption that buzzers who promote the products would tell lies due tothe payment. However, the lecturer asserts that as a buzzer of a phone servicecompany, he would value the service first, then he could be the buzzer who willbe paid to tell the truth. Thus, the employees of the companies are the peoplewho really think highly of the products they used.

Secondly, according to the reading passage,it contends that the consumers would be less critical than they should whenthey face other advertisements. In contrast, the lecturer points out that theconsumers would be more careful about the products. For example, they will askhim specific questions, such as how much is the price and how long has beenused for the service.

Third, contrary to the reading passage thatbuzzed advertisement would do harm to the social relationships, causing themistrust and the expectation of dishonesty, the buzzed advertisement wouldpromote the relationship, on the grounds that the buzzer help the individualfind a good service like phone service. As a result, they will end up moretrustful and more open to people. In other words, if the consumers feel badabout the buzzers, the company will not employ the individuals to do that.Whereas there are lots of employees, they could do this job well.

sherryzhangh

TPO 19

In the lecture, the person claims that the argument in the reading passage, which suggests that the buzzed advertisement is problematic, is totally misleading. And he gives the responses below to defend with argument.


First of all, the reading passage makes wrong assumption （这个感觉是在表达自己的意见，综合要做的就是阐述归纳所看到的听到的。）that buzzers who promote the products would tell lies due to the payment. However, the lecturer asserts that is not the case. By telling story of himself as a buzzer of a phone service company, he would value the service first, and then he could be the buzzer who will be paid to tell the truth. Thus, the employees of the companies are the people who really think highly of the products they used.

Secondly, according to the reading passage, it contends that the consumers would be less critical than they should when they face otherfriend buzz advertisements. In contrast, the lecturer points out that the consumers would be more careful about the products. For example, they will ask him specific questions, such as how much is the price and how long has been used for the service.

Third, contrary to the reading passage that buzzed advertisement would do harm to the social relationships, causing the mistrust and the expectation of dishonesty, the person claims that the buzzed advertisement would promote the relationship, on the grounds that the buzzer help the individual find a good service like phone service. As a result, they will end up more trustful and more open to people. In other words, if the consumers feel bad about the buzzers, the company will not employ the individuals to do that. Whereas there are lots of employees, they could do this job well.

klllun

独立 8.22
parents should help children to do theirwork or encourage children to do their work independently

When it comes to the issue that the role ofparents in children's work, I am in favor that as parents, they should takeencourage children to do their work by themselves rather than help the kids.Weighting the pros and cons, I think kids would benefit more fromencouragement. Here, I will give my reasons below.

First of all, children need to beindependent. In other words, if parents always try to help the kids toaccomplish the work, then the kids would get used to relaying on others. Whenthey face the problem, no matter it is big or small, they would like to ask forhelp. For example, in china, the parents usually value their kids as importantas the treasures. As a result, they involve themselves in the work of children,helping them do the dishes, washing the clothes, and even arranging the path offuture. Then, the babies are so immature that they could not make the decisionor live on their own.

Secondly, it is more likely that the moreparents helping children with their work, the more obstacles of developingtheir imagination. Because we all know that there are plenty of fantastic ideasin the head of youngsters, they would like to apply them when they do theirjobs. Imagine, what will happen if a fabulous idea was regarded as the strangething from the point of view of parents? Children will get upset about it.Consequently, they will be afraid of to brainstorm the good ideas instead offinishing the job by traditional method that their parents think highly of.This will be a totally nightmare. Thus, getting parents out of the process ofchildren's work will be better.

Last but not least, the proponents ofhelping kids with their work would like to say that children might face theproblem that is too serious to solve it by themselves. At this point, I wouldlike to response that though this situation probably happens, they would struggleand try their best to tackle the problem. Since you could not imagine how faryou will arrive, if you never push yourself. Take my teacher for example. Onceshe gave us a task that asks the students to group together and to play out afairy tale which produce by ourselves. At the beginning, we were astonished!Because we knew nothing about how to play it before, we wanted to get the helpfrom her. However, she refused. So we have to finish it by our own. Finally, itturns out we have the potential to accomplish well by watching a lot of playsand looking the information on the internet. We did what we think as impossiblebefore.

In short, I would support that parents stayaway from the children when they are work. Or the good intention might lead unexpectedoutcome, such as dependence, lack of imagination, and obstacle of showingpotential.

332211abc

When it comes to the issue that the role of parents in children's work(能看懂意思，但我觉得表答很不好。), I am in favor that as parents, they should take encourage children to do their work by themselves rather than help the kids. Weighting the pros and cons（这句不太常见，目测好像没什么问题。。。可以问一问别的高手）, I think kids would benefit more from （parents’）encouragement. Here, I will give my reasons below.

First of all, children need to be independent. In other words, if parents always try(ing) to help the kids to accomplish the work, (then)似乎可以省 the kids would （get used to）（有些口语化，和what’s up之类的相似） relaying on others. When they face（d） the problem, no matter it is (big or small)这两个词形容WORK有些怪。。, they would like to ask for help. For example, in china, the parents usually value their kids as （importantas）拼错（the treasures）不地道，感觉太中式英语了。. As a result, they involve（这里用被动句比较好，they 和themselves略显累赘） themselves in the work of children, helping them do the dishes, washing the clothes, and even arranging thepath of future（这个没必要加path,中意太明显了，老外估计很难理解）. Then, the babies（baby,kids,children这3个词的年龄是有变化的，不能互等） are so immature that they could not make the decisionor（拼错）（live on）直接用BY比较好 their own.

Secondly, it is more likely that the more parents helping children with their work, the more obstacles of developing their imagination（第一个MORE可以换别的）. Because we all know（有些不客观。。。） that there are plenty of(我不知道这个短语能不能修饰抽象名词，没听说过plenty of ideas这句。。暂时放着，我也不太清楚。) fantastic ideas in the head of youngsters, they would like to apply them when they do their jobs（WORKS）. Imagine, what will happen(后面用WAS，这里好像要变一下吧，虚拟语气后变前不变吗？) if a fabulous idea was regarded as the strange thing from the point of view（直接point of parents可以表达）of parents? Children will get upset口语化 about it. Consequently, they will be afraid of to（被动句比较好） brainstorm the good ideas instead of finishing the job（work） by traditional method that their parents think highly of.（这句错了，你的意思是：孩子会拒绝想新方法，取而代之的是遵循父母鼓励的传统方法解决问题。中间instead of 意思衔接有问题，有歧义）This will be a totally nightmare. Thus, getting parents out口语化 of the process of children's work will be better.

Last but not least, the proponents （of ），WHO ARE HOLD THE IDEA THAT helping kids with their work，would like to say that children might face the problem（trouble比较好） that is too serious to solve it（that 已经指代前面的问题了，后面这个IT好像多余了） by themselves. At（IN） this point, I would like to response that though this situation probably（will） happens(应该没有S吧), they would struggle and try their best to tackle the problem. Since you could not imagine how far you will arrive, if you never push yourself.（1，逗号用的不好，断错句子了，歧义。2，could 和will在一个句子里，且中间没有转折连接词。3，Since 和if 两个都是引导词，重复了。4，arrive 和解决问题之间没太大联系，如果是比喻修辞，psuh解释不通。） Take my teache（托福作文里最好不要用关于自己例子，万不得已编造一个）r for example. Once she gave us a task that asks the students（和前面的US重复，用代词。） to group together（两次重复） and to play out a fairy tale which produce by ourselves. At the beginning, we were astonished! Because we knew nothing about how to play it before, we wanted to get the help from her. However, she refused. So we have to finish it by our own. Finally, it turns out we have the potential to accomplish well by watching a lot of plays and looking the information on（还是太口语化）the internet. We did what we这里直接用简单句就行了，没必要用复合句。think as impossible before.

In short, I would support （statement）that parents stay away(题目中说是courage没说stay away，略有问题) from the children when they are work. Or the good intention might lead unexpected dout come, such as dependence, lack of imagination, and obstacle of showing potential.



Would like 用的是在有些略多，可以换换其他句式。

中文翻译有些略多，显重复。

其余有些小细节，以后多注意。

另外一些水平有限，不会改。。。

klllun

交的晚不好意思呀。

The issue is about solving thesignificant problem in people's life on their own. On the contrary, the statement contends that there is nothingto do with the government. In other words, individualscould only get the help from their families orby themselves. As my point of view, I totallydisagree with the contention as the following reasons.

First of all, when it comes topromote one's level of living, we usually consider the well-being of the wholecountry. Thus, if a person meet some problems that could not solve by theirown, the government is responsible for tacking them. It is the fundamentalduties for the government to deal with problems the citizens meet. Take thesteady economic circumstance for example.Merchants or businessmen could only get lots of profit under the appropriate regulation. If there were no rules among the barter, it will be a totally mess. Theprofit will decrease. Finally, the government should be blamed because it didnot take the responsibility. Thus, knowing the duty of government and applyingthe power of government will help individuals deal with their problems.

Secondly, in recommending thegovernment would be in a better place to deal with the problem, I am in favorof that government hold the effective capability to tackle the predicament.Specifically, there is some difficulties, which individuals seldom solve bythemselves. For example, in China people are worrying about the retirement accounts.Only relying on the efforts of individuals could not solve the problem. Webarely have the ability to get enough account, which will conquer the expected inflationin the future years. Though a small number of people hold the financing knowledge who could deal with the account,plenty of individuals rely on our government will take the responsibility andtake some measures to solve the problem. Therefore, government should dosomething to improve the situation and help its citizens.

Last but not least, governmentis not the only factor in solving the problem. However, it should take apositive attitude toward helping citizens. As citizens, we should try to assistourselves. First, be optimistic about looking for problems, which could beimprove. Then, do some effort to get to change the situation. If you find outthat lacking the ability to solve the problem by the limited number of people,your families, turn for help to the government, which could provide you withbetter source and in a suitable place to deal with some difficulties.

In sum, not only should peopletake a positive attitude to discern the potential problem, which is important,but also the government should recognize its responsibility and apply its powerto contribute solving predicament. Finally, thesociety will be much better than ever before.