fairy作文贴 每日练习ING

pinkyhuayin

7.27

The world is now facing a speedy development of technology and economy, which therefore makes modern life progress with quick pace. Most people are overwhelmed by huge volume of informations, and how to handle them becomes an urgent problem. How can we tell important informations  (uncountable N )from useless one? Which events should we concern and which should we ignor ignore? As far as I’m concerned, it is not necessary to know things happened worldwide, which virtually exerts （which 指代 things的话，s就去掉吧） little influence on people’s daily life. My reasons are listed as follows.

To begin with, knowing things happened in other countries is not only of no use to daily work, but a waste of time as well. For instance, the knowledge of crazy Christmas shopping in USA or electronic failure in Beijing has nothing to do with one’s living in Shanghai. Therefore, events taken place in irrelevant areas are, to some extent, like stories written in fiction novels, which act like entertaining sources and which are of no sighinificance in real life. Instead of reading global news, we can spend our spare time on more beneficial activities like learning, playing with friends and doing sports.

What is more? It is very much likely that being acknowledged about events around world will stimulate one’s unnecessary negative emotions. Consider a person living in poor countries, reading articles about the advancement of the United States in education, political system and social welfare would result in disatisfaction of his own life or disillusion of his own country. Sequentially, that disappointing feeling will disvigorate 这个词我没查到   him in his daily work. Impertinent informations are 后面有动词了，该去了吧, in that way, reduce  efficiency and disperse concentration in one’s actual life.
Yet I concede that some international events reports does something more than just informing people: they play a role as a social moralist or an educator. Watching Olympic games online or on TV raises the patriotic sense of the public; Viewing photos taken in slums activates people’s sense of thriftness thrift 就可以表示名词，楼主用的我没查到啊  and benevolence; Knowing the huge number of ice melting in North Polar urges people to protect the environment. Thus, certain global issues cultivate one’s moral sense which will guide their in daily behaviors.

In sum, concerns on irrelevant events around the world is generally time-wasting and mentally disturbing. People should thereby focus on daily activities within their immediate environment, which will influence their life. Still, some seemingly distant issues can be guidances for routine life and so need due attention.


1，首先是论述形式的问题，都说托福适合一边倒，我觉得还是有道理的。因为300字的议论文，如果写这种折中的话的，不小心就是这样的效果。观点不是很清晰。比如楼主这篇，而且在我看来，你第三段写的是最好的，明显比你得一二段，论证更有力，更加引起读者共鸣。这样的话，就是造成了主次不分的效果。反正，我是坚决在练习一边倒的写法。如果楼主想练折中写法即gre，gmat作文常用的话，保守估计，起码需要450字以上，才能成为一篇条理清楚，主题明确的文章。建议楼主慎用吧。当然，也可以现在拼命练啊，也能拿高分的哦。


2，还有就是一些基本名词单复数的问题，谓语动词，虽然感觉是基本小问题，但是这样的问题在考场上给阅卷人的印象不好啊，多注意。


3，还有就是一些比较漂亮的词，呵呵，说实话，有几个我都不认识呢，这方面我刚开始积累。不过，有个观点和楼主分享下哈。漂亮的词要用就要用对，才能接自己加分哦。当然啦，写作的时候，可能直接下笔了，但是后面还是要多多校正，确保只把正确的留在记忆里哈。

fairyfinger

7.29
The most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work skills of its employees.

How a company spend its money directly effect its performance, and that's why it should concentrate money on the most rewarding aspect. And here comes the question: what is the most profitable way of investing? I fundamentally agree with the statement that spending money on training the  employees is extremely advantageous for a company.

With an enhanced working performance,  the employees would undoubtedly help their companies to get more clients and consumers. Many employers now realize the siginificance of promoting the work skills of employees: most of China's top barberies send their hairdressers abroad to Korea, Japan or US to learn the most trendy hairstyles so as to  offer a more satisfiable service for customers;  big fast-cosuming companies like Unilever and P&G arrange greenhand workers to go through a one or one-and-a-half-year professional training which hone their skills in consumer-dealing, product-promoting and the like. Equipped with better working method and more up-dated information, the employees are more likely to suit the need of customers, and thereby raise the reputation of the company they work for. As a result, more business would flow into the company, and that enables the company to gain more fortune. In that way, the money put on the training of employees, in reture, greatly benefits the company by inviting more buyers and investments.

Many employees, after receiving their companies' generous support for personal enrichment, continue to stay in the company and works really hard, as a way of showing their appreication.  And it is because of their masterful skills and devoted attitudes that most of them get promoted quicker than others. Then, those employees who once had been the beneficiaries of the companies investment, now in a high position, can eventually teach the new comers what they have learned before. Therefore, the investment made by a company can have a far-fetching and siginificant effect on its future development.

Still, there are people who soon quite to fill a hole in another company who provides him a more promising future or bigger income. That leads to a great loss of his former company, which had spent much money on coaching him. However, I think that problem can be easily solved by signing a contract, where the employee agrees on a long-term service in the same corporation after finishing an advanced study funded by his firm, as a prerequisite of the investment.

In the final analysis, considering all the reasons above, we can safely arrive at the conclusion that the investment on sharpening employees work skills is rewarding and beneficial in a long run. Just remember to sign a contract in case of job hoping.

fairyfinger

To pink,

我再琢磨下怎么使观点更明晰统一一点。习惯了写有些让步的作文，嘿嘿
很赞同你关于那些小错误的看法！！我就是自己检查的时候看不粗啊T T...撞墙！！习惯成自然之后也是很可怕的。。。。

thritifness...我掉了个i !@@
第一遍写的时候就主要表达意思去了，后面修改的时候还要多酝酿一下词汇呀～感谢指证：]

hansxiao7

Do you agree or disagree, the way a person dressed is a good indication of his/her personality or character.

Will you judge a person through the clothes he or she wears? The answer of that question may diverge: some agree that clothing is a good symbol of one’s inner thoughts and characters; others holds that people do not actually wear what they really like. Regardless of the correctness of both sides, it is undeniable that first impression influence one’s opinion of others a great deal. And as for me, one’s clothes contribute to a large percent in my first judement of other people. And my reasons are listed as follows.

In the first place, the clothes people are wearing is a reflection of their flavor, which can show their personality and inner concerns. When shopping, people will buy clothes which they think is beautiful. Yet the criteria(criterion？） of prettieness varies from person to person. Young kids love clothes with vivid color and cartoon figures; youth like to follow the latest trend when choosing clothes; adults prefer clothing that are more professional and elegant. That is because people at different stages of life have their varied concerns. In addition, people of the same age dress disparately according to their personalities. Introverted youth favor simple clothes with less exaggerative patterns, while youth who want to gain much attention tend to wear strange clothes. Therefore, clothing is a way helping people display their dispostions.

Secondly, the way people dress themselves indicates the kind of people they want to become in front of others. For instance, conservartive girls will not wear exposive clothes for the reason that they do not want to be regarded as flamboyant,(这个是奢侈么？不如改成frivolous轻浮的） and thereby boys will not try to flirt with her. It is the colthes one wears that tell other people his or her attitude and propensity. Therefore, how people dressed is a good indicator of their personalities and value system.

However, some people may hide their true selves behind their clothes. Many people, especially teens, are not condifent or satisfied with themselves, and so they follow the latest trend and dress like their idols or friends. In doing that, they are not revealing their characters. And the opposite is true: those people hide their real personalities behind the maskerades and pretend to be someone else. Thus, the way certain people dressed acts like a veil which blurred other’s recognition of them.

All in all, I believe that the clothes one dresses are a good way of telling his or her personalities and dispostions beacuse one chooses clothes according to his or her flavor, character and and value system. Yet in certain situations, people are apt to disguise with clothes.(建议把最后一句去掉 或者放在前面 毕竟YET强调的是后者）

楼主功力高深莫测。。。句型词汇都很棒 不过我觉得 不要为了用难词而用难词 毕竟一篇作文的评分时间很短 流畅和SPECIFIC才是关键 楼主可以多SPECIFIC一些 在排比之外用一些例子来改变一下举例子的方法 这样会更好 一点小小建议:-D 楼主没问题的

hansxiao7

How a company spend its money directly effect its performance, and that's why it should concentrate money on the most rewarding aspect. And here comes the question: what is the most profitable way of investing? I fundamentally agree with the statement that spending money on training the  employees is extremely advantageous for a company.楼主的开头一向都很给力啊

With an enhanced working performance,  the employees would undoubtedly help their companies to get more clients and consumers. Many employers now realize the siginificance of promoting the work skills of employees: most of China's top barberies send their hairdressers abroad to Korea, Japan or US to learn the most trendy hairstyles so as to  offer a more satisfiable service for customers;  big fast-cosuming companies like Unilever and P&G arrange greenhand workers to go through a one or one-and-a-half-year professional training which hone their skills in consumer-dealing, product-promoting and the like. Equipped with better working method and more up-dated information, the employees are more likely to suit the need of customers, and thereby raise the reputation of the company they work for. As a result, more business would flow into the company, and that enables the company to gain more fortune. In that way, the money put on the training of employees, in reture, greatly benefits the company by inviting more buyers and investments.

Many employees, after receiving their companies' generous support for personal enrichment, continue to stay in the company and works really hard, as a way of showing their appreication.  And it is because of their masterful skills and devoted attitudes that most of them get promoted quicker than others. Then, those employees who once had been the beneficiaries of the companies investment, now in a high position, can eventually teach the new comers what they have learned before. Therefore, the investment made by a company can have a far-fetching and siginificant effect on its future development.

Still, there are people who soon quite to fill a hole in another company who provides him a more promising future or bigger income. That leads to a great loss of his former company, which had spent much money on coaching him. However, I think that problem can be easily solved by signing a contract, where the employee agrees on a long-term service in the same corporation after finishing an advanced study funded by his firm, as a prerequisite of the investment.

In the final analysis, considering all the reasons above, we can safely arrive at the conclusion that the investment on sharpening employees work skills is rewarding and beneficial in a long run. Just remember to sign a contract in case of job hoping.

楼主写的这篇棒极了！词汇很棒很恰当 用句例子也超棒！不过美中不足 就是长短句做的不是很好 虽然这是一个通病 但是要以楼主水平 克服这个小问题就可直指30啦 哈哈 向楼主同志学习

fairyfinger

7.30
好难写啊吐血。。。


Thanks to the high efficiency of technology, the world is progressing with a rapid pace. It is undeniable that the living standard now is much higher and the entertianing instrument, much diverse. Some may thereby assume that modern life is much happier. Yet the case turned out to be the opposite: people nowadays have more pressure in keeping up with the fast progression of modern society.

With the quick development of daily products like cell-phones and computer software, modern people always feel oblidged to learn something new. In the old days, ways of doing things remains steady, which thus makes people feel safe and satisfied with themselves. But now facing with an ever-changing society, people can not stop trying hard to follow the pace of technological development. Consider our daily necessities like iphones and ipod, Apple company have been publishing new types of iphone every year, each with a new function like screen-touch, facetime and vocal instruction. And many people not only have to exhaust themselves in learning the new functions, but find difficulties in using auxiliary softwares like iphone apps and iTunes as well. Therefore, despite their convinience and efficiency, quick upgrading and inventing of new technology in daily products have thrown people into a worrying situation where are constantly in fear of being left behind by the fast-changing trend.

Additionally, nowadays people are less likely to enjoy the process of doing things for the reason that they have to act and finish quickly, which is the request of this too highly efficient society. Imagine you are eating a humbugur, if you are forced to finish it within two minutes, will you still find the once delicious food a good enjoyment? The answer is definetly no! Overwhelmed by huge workloads, modern people must behave in quick pace so as to finish all the tasks. And it is the demand of high efficiency and fast speed which confine modern people to savor the process of life. People have to progress without stop from one task to another, and the fact is that they can hardly have time to truly and fully interact with their inner thought before once again immersed themselve in finishing the next task.

The happiness of humans could not be measured by how many entertaining tools he has, or how many difficult tasks they have managed in one lifetime, it only has to do with their inner contentedness. Yet modern ways of life makes it much harder for people to feel safe, steady and joyful. That is beacause the world is chaging so fast that it leaves little time for people to slow down a bit to enjoy themselves more.

fairyfinger

To hans,
你的评论好激励人心哈哈！！其实我刚好那个话题比较熟悉而已嘻嘻
啊是的！短句我都不怎么会用的感觉。。。。。T T 还要多多积累的说
还有总是会有各种拼写错误，真的很闹心啊

hansxiao7

Thanks to the high efficiency of technology, the world is progressing with a rapid pace. It is undeniable that the living standard now is much higher and the entertianing instrument, much diverse(可以这样用么。。。）. Some may thereby assume that modern life is much happier. Yet the case turned out to be the opposite: people nowadays have more pressure in keeping up with the fast progression of modern society.

With the quick development of daily products like cell-phones and computer software, modern people always feel obliged to learn something new. In the old days, ways of doing things remains steady, which thus makes people feel safe and satisfied with themselves. But now facing with an ever-changing society, people can not stop(忍不住。。。？ 还是说被动的？用词要精确啊 感觉这里像是被动 人们不得不 而不是忍不住） trying hard to follow the pace of technological development(该换词啦 improvement或 progression). Consider our daily necessities like iphones and ipod, Apple company have(has) been publishing(这里建议不要用HAVE 直接produce new 或者create new另外这个publish感觉不太恰当） new types of iphone every year, each with a new function like screen-touch, facetime and vocal instruction. And many people not only have to exhaust themselves in learning the new functions, but find difficulties in using auxiliary softwares like iphone apps and iTunes as well. Therefore, despite their convinience and efficiency, quick upgrading and inventing of new technology in daily products have thrown people into a worrying situation where are constantly in fear of being left behind by the fast-changing trend.(感觉楼主的词汇量不错，只是下次用时要注意 要用最简单的词表达出最恰当最specific的例子 才是最好的选择）

Additionally, nowadays people are less likely to enjoy the process of doing things for the reason that they have to act and finish quickly, which is the request of this too highly efficient society.(这一句分成两句吧 That is required by the highly efficient society)   Imagine you are eating a humbugur, if you are forced to finish it within two minutes, will you still find the once delicious food a good enjoyment? The answer is definetly no! Overwhelmed by huge workloads, modern people must behave in quick pace so as to finish all the tasks. And it is the demand of high efficiency and fast speed which confine modern people to savor the process of life. People have to progress without stop from one task to another, and the fact is that they can hardly have time to truly and fully interact with their inner thought before once again immersed themselve in finishing the next task. (虽然楼主这一段是说人们不能享受过程了 上一段说人们需要学那些新东西了 实际上都是quick life rhythm 这一篇思路太狭窄啦 完全不是楼主风格啊。。。）

The happiness of humans could not be measured by how many entertaining tools he has, or how many difficult tasks they have managed in one lifetime, it only has to do with their inner contentedness. Yet modern ways of life makes it much harder for people to feel safe, steady and joyful. That is beacause the world is chaging so fast that it leaves little time for people to slow down a bit to enjoy themselves more.(最后一段楼主结尾罗嗦了 建议两种风格 直接结论 或者简单复述理由+结论）

这篇完全不是楼主风格啊。。。希望楼主早日批改我的作文

fairyfinger

Hans,我这篇写得巨纠结。我要去看看你怎么写的
对！就是死路太狭窄了啊啊。。。下次改正！！

fairyfinger

8.1
What will you do if you want to argue with others on a controversial issue? Some hot-tempered people could not help letting out their words on the phone, or leave vocal messages if others did not answer the phone call; while others who are more introverted and calm may prefer to text a message or send an e-mail, where they can express their thoughts more freely and clearly. As for me, using written language is more suitable and comfortable, and my reasons are leasted as follows.

Being always half-beat slower in thought than others, discussing through written words could give me enough time to think more clearly and comprehensively. Instead of being forced to open my mouth before grasping other's idea fully and orginizing my thoughts orderly, I can maximize my efforts on understanding other's thoughts as well as developing mine. In any discussion, a very possible consequence of not compeletly understanding other's ideas would be that both sides are just saying what they think is true, regardless of the other sides' opinion. That would only makes the debate go around in a circle. But if given more time, the seemingly upsetting issue would become more focused, and thereby easier to be solved.

Besides, sending e-mails and texting messgaes can prevent people from interfering by the other sides' biased thoughts and emotions. As we are all humans, we tend to be easily effected by other people's emotions. For instance, in Henan province, a fish seller killed one of his customers on impulse while they are arguing about the price of the fishes. Thus, a formerly very tiny dispute evolved into a big tragedy becuase of the harsh and extrem words used by the two at the very moment. From that example, it is clear that vocal languages, carrying too much emotions and instant thoughts, will undoubtedly hinder one's sober mental state and unbiased judgment. Therefore, e-mails and texts are preferable when disucussing a controversial issue.

Yet I concede that the perticular tones,pitch and rymthe of voices can, in some circumstances, help the speaker convince the other side. This is beacuse vocal language sometimes conveys more than just thoughts and opininions: they also send signals about the speakers' emotions and feelings by characteristics of the voice. For instance, although the the draft of 'I have a dream' is heart-stricking and encouraging, without the vivid and emotional performance of Martin Luther King, it could not have had so huge an infulence on the Black Liberation Movements. But on the contrary, a convincing script spoken by a poor speaker who stammers occassionally would only undermine the reliability of those opinions.

In the final analysis, I favor written words when debating on a disputing topic for the reason that they give me more time and solemnity to handle the issue successfully. Admittedly, for people who has a nice speaking manner, using vocal communication is also a good voice.