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hui刀

7月18日独立写作：Do you agree or disagree, because the world is changing soquickly, people now are less happy and less satisfied than people in the past

It is generally acknowledged that the development of the world has entirely changed people's life. Therefore, there is a public discussion today over whether people now are happier and more satisfied than people in the past. Some people indicate that we could benefit for the development of world, while others agree that nowadays, people are too busy to have an enjoyable life. I completely agree that we have a more comfortable and convenient life than the generation of our father and grandfather.


First, the quickly-changing world brings us fantastic inventions. With the advance of the world, we could enjoy the joy and convenience of technology. To be more precise, we could tell Siri, a voice control system in the iphone, to arrange our schedule, to get weather information and to message or call one of our friends. However, people in the past could only get the weather forecast on the TV. In addition, the weather forecast is more accurate and the speed of update is faster.  So we could experience more convenient and delightful life than people in the past.


Second, the quickly-changing world gives us more amusement. People in the past used to watch TV or do sports as their entertainment. On the contrary, we have so many ways to amuse ourselves. For example, there are a great number of fitness facilities near my community, my neighbors and I always go there for keeping fit. And I can chat with my friend on the internet and play video games when the rainy season comes. While in the past, people may have trouble in contact with their friends. Hence, we could live more colorful and joyful life than people in the past.


Some people holding a different opinion might claim that the quick progress of the world makes people more isolate and hurry. People now could hardly sit in the hall with other family members, such behavior which was thought of one of signal of happiness in the past. Yet, the definition of happiness should keep rhythm with the progress of the world. The purpose that modern people pay more attention to work is to improve their life standard. Meanwhile, they have other methods to communicate with their family members.


To sum up, from what has been analyzed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that modern people are more satisfied and happier than the elder generation. The reason is that we could gain the convenience of science and technology and the comfort of entertainment facility.

hui刀

7.19独立写作：Do you agree or disagree, it is impossible to be completelyhonest with your friend.

It is generally acknowledged that honesty is one of the most essential qualities of human beings. But there is a public discussion today over whether people should entirely be honest with their friends. Some people believe that being honest reflect trust between each other, while others claim that some truths may hurt their friends. I have no hesitation to support that everyone should always be sincere.


That people lie to their friends has two main reasons. First reason is to protect their friendship; another is to avoid hurting their friends. Various people have different kinds of customs. If our behavior conflicts with our friends' customs, the best way is not to cheat our friends but to explain and make an apology. For instance, One day, when I had lunch with another friend—Antony, Jacky came into the restaurant, so we asked Jacky to have lunch together. Nevertheless, we forgot that Jacky was a Muslim and we were eating fried pork. Antony told him that we ate beef, yet I was so embarrassed that I told Jacky the truth. As a result, Jacky forgave me and is still my best friend, but he has no contact with Antony any more. Therefore, It is the most efficient way to be truthful to obtain people for forgiveness and preserve friendship.


On the other hand, people constantly had some bad news in order to support their friends. However, no one could replace other people to make decisions. Because we could hardly predict our friends' reaction and we should respect and support our friends' decisions. Our friends need enough information to analyse and make a decision. When we deceive our friends with kindness, they would still feel regret after many years. To be particular, I heard a story that a student's father did not tell the bad news that his mother had an accident when he was taking the university entrance exam. After he got the news, he blamed his father and lost his mother forever. Hence, being honest could help our friend make the correct decision.


To sum up, from what has been analyzed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that we should always be honest with our friend. The reason is that honest can acquire forgiveness and help our friends.

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

It is generally acknowledged that honesty is one of the most essential qualities of human beings. But(这里转折显得很突兀额)there is a public discussion today over whether people should（题目是impossible，这里用can）entirely be honest with their friends. Some people believe that being honest reflect trust between each other, while others claim that some truths may hurt their friends. I have no hesitation to support that everyone should always be sincere.

That people lie to their friends has two main reasons. First reason is to protect their friendship; another is to avoid hurting their friends. Various people have different kinds of customs. If our behavior conflicts with our friends' customs, the best way is not to cheat our friends but to explain and make an apology. For instance, One day, when I had lunch with another friend—Antony, Jacky came into the restaurant, so we asked Jacky to have lunch together. Nevertheless, we forgot that Jacky was a Muslim and we were eating fried pork. Antony told him that we ate beef, yet I was so embarrassed that I told Jacky the truth. As a result, Jacky forgave me and is still my best friend, but he has no contact with Antony any more. Therefore, It is the most efficient way to be truthful to obtain people for forgiveness and preserve friendship.（这段举例和句子都很好额）

On the other hand, people constantly had some bad news in order to support their friends. However, no one could replace other people to make decisions. Because we could hardly predict our friends' reaction and we should respect and support our friends' decisions. Our friends need enough information to analyse and make a decision. When we deceive our friends with kindness, they would still feel regret after many years. To be particular, I heard a story that a student's father did not tell the bad news that his mother had an accident when he was taking the university entrance exam. After he got the news, he blamed his father and lost his mother forever. Hence, being honest could help our friend make the correct decision.



To sum up, from what has been analyzed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that we should always be honest with our friend. The reason is that honest can acquire forgiveness and help our friends.



文章不错，举例也很好。就是连接词的使用上再好一点就行了。

huluhulufei

非常抱歉 feifei 在18号的晚上临时有事，直到现在才回来。。。。汗。。。，另外，对刀刀的细心批改和提醒表示发自肺腑地感谢！！！撒花~~~撒花~~~





7月18日独立写作：Do you agree or disagree, because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy and less satisfied than people in the past

It is generally acknowledged that the development of the world has entirely changed people's life. Therefore, there is a public discussion today over whether people now are happier and more satisfied than people in the past. Some people indicate that we could benefit for the development of world, while others agree that nowadays, people are too busy to have an enjoyable life. I completely agree that we have a more comfortable and convenient life than the generation of our father and grandfather.
首段很好~feifei没有看出任何语法错误和句式问题，而且观点明确。不过模版的味道浓郁了一些~刀刀可以换一个更自然的方式引入主体，提出观点~

First, the quickly-changing world brings us fantastic inventions. With the advance of the world, we could enjoy the joy and convenience of technology. To be more precise, we could tell Siri, a voice control system in the iphone, to arrange our schedule, to get weather information and to message or call one of our （去掉更好些~）friends. However, people in the past could only get the weather forecast on the TV. In addition, the weather forecast is more accurate and the speed of update is faster. So we could experience more convenient and delightful life than people in the past. 刀刀观点明确，语句通顺~ 不过feifei 感觉用‘天气预报’给人们带来更大的便捷，跟 happy 可能联系得更远一点。刀刀可以换个更好的例子，比如transportation 的便利， computer ---email, 的便利，都比天气预报要好一些~


Second, the quickly-changing world gives us more amusement. People in the past used to（语义重复。刀刀的意思是否是 used to 前边加个 were? ） watch TV or do sports as their entertainment. On the contrary, we have so many ways to amuse ourselves(加个now). For example, there are a great number of fitness facilities near my community,（两个句子间是否该加关联词and ?）my neighbors and I always go there for keeping fit. And I can chat with my friend on the internet and play video games when the rainy season comes. While in the past, people may have trouble in contact with their friends. Hence, we could live more colorful and joyful life than people in the past.观点明确，例子恰当~~


Some people holding a different opinion might claim that the quick progress of the world makes people more isolate and hurry. People now could hardly sit in the hall with other family members, such behavior which was thought of one of signal of happiness in the past（and the behavior was thought of a signal of…..）. Yet, the definition of happiness should keep rhythm with the progress of the world. The purpose that modern people pay more attention to work is to improve their life standard. Meanwhile, they have other methods to communicate with their family members.刀刀从反面论证观点, 观点鲜明，举例也很好~ 只是feifei 觉得有问题的那个句子，刀刀意下如何？


To sum up, from what has been analyzed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that modern people are more satisfied and happier than the elder generation. The reason is that we could gain the convenience of science and technology and the comfort of entertainment facility.



这是feifei 目前批改过的最流畅的文章了~ 刀刀语言功底很扎实~ 不过，刀刀若能多练练难句，长句，精选例子，文章会更出彩！开头如果避开传统的模版的话，会更好的！！！再次抱歉前几天feifei有事情没能及时回复！！望刀刀见谅~~~

hui刀

这两天我去鼓浪屿旅游了，未能恢复fei,说声抱歉！很感谢fei的建议，我也觉得自己的句子结构有些简单！让我们一起加油吧~

huluhulufei

嘻~ 刀刀好兴致~

hui刀

7月25日 Do you agree or disagreewith the following statement? The most important problems in today’s world willbe solved in our lifetime


In spite of the precipitous development of economy and society, there are still countless problems that could not be solved in our lifetime. The main reason is the nature of human being—greedy and selfish. That we always take our benefit in the first place directly causes contradiction and conflict and worsen the relationship and cooperation.


Granted there is no doubt that we have solved some necessary puzzles with the improvement of science and technology. Majority of people can enjoy convenient and comfortable life. And we meet our mental and physical demand easier and better than the generation of our fathers does. For instance, the Internet could provide us with a great deal of useful information. Not only can we search for academic resources and the latest news through the Internet, but we also get access to communicate to our friends who went abroad. Nevertheless, it does't mean that we could solve all problems in our lifetime.


War has destroyed a great number of countries and families along with the process of history and ,what's a pity, continues to be one of significant problems in the world. No matter why people fight for, such as resources, power or racial differences, it seems that we lose the ability to live together in harmony. Although the Second World War was supposed to be the end of all wars, a lot of development countries invade other developing countries for various purposes. In a long time, world peace must be achieved in the future but not in our generation.


Another important aspect is the unbalance between the progress of development countries and this of developing countries. It is generally acknowledged that British residents benefit from the first industrial revolution which boosts the urbanization of Britain, and similarly American converted from a deserted colony to the most advanced country after the second and third industrial revolution. Actually, many children in Africa could hardly gain clean water and they were exposed to unhealthy environment. Besides, many countries imported some inefficient and highly polluting industries in order to promote the economy, but such industries bought serious threat to the environment of the local.


To sum up, we have already solved some vital problem in our lifetime. However, peace and progress cannot be obtained by the generation of us. Certainly, these goals must come true with the effect of everyone.

sherryzhangh

蓝色为建议，黄色为高亮。
In spite of the precipitous development of economy and society, (开头最好别用 there are / is 结构）there are still countless problems that could not be solved remains in our lifetime. The main reason is the nature of human being—greedy and selfish. That we always take our the advantages of benefit( 感觉这样会好一些，一己之见） in the first place directly causes contradiction as well as and conflict ,and thereforeworsen the relationship and cooperation.( and 可以适当的用  as well as , moreover 之类的连词代替）


Granted there is no doubt that we have solved some necessary puzzles with the improvement of science and technology. Majority of people can enjoy convenient and comfortable life. And we meet our mental （psychological)and physical demand easier and better than the generation of our fathers does. For instance, the Internet could provide us with a great deal of useful information. Not only can we search for academic resources and the latest news through the Internet, but we also get access to communicate to our friends who went abroad is absence. Nevertheless, it does't mean that we could solve all problems in our lifetime.


War has destroyed a great number of countries and families along with the process of history and ,what's a pity, continues to be one of significant problems in the world. No matter why what is the reason that people fight for, such as resources, power or racial differences, it seems that we lose the ability to live together in harmony. Although the Second World War was considered supposed to be the end of all wars, a lot of development countries invade other developing countries for various purposes. In a long time, world peace must be achieved in the future but not in our generation.


Another important aspect is the unbalance between the progress of developed ment countries and this those of developing countries. It is generally acknowledged that British residents benefit from the first industrial revolution which boosts the urbanization of Britain, and similarly American converted from a deserted colony to the most advanced country after the second and third industrial revolution. On the contrary(感觉应该是转折呀？）Actually, many children in Africa could hardly gain clean water and they were exposed to unhealthy environment. Besides, many countries imported some inefficient and highly polluting industries in order to promote the economy, but such industries bought seriousthreat harm to the environment of the local.


To sum up, we had have already solved some vital problem in our lifetime. However, peace and progress cannot be obtained by the generation of us. Certainly, these goals must come true with the endeavor effect of everyone.基本模式具备了， 只是在论证上还应该在紧凑一些， 充足一些， 措辞上准确一些。本人水平有限， 说得不一定准确。请见谅。
加油！

hui刀

感谢sheery的修改和建议，我会多加注意连词替换和用词准确性~

一起加油吧！