6.17二战，欢迎各位大牛小牛劈头盖脸的指正！！

yuyiqi1105

520一战作文22， 617期待有所突破，坚持每天来写作文，期待各位的指导呦！！~~

5.30
综合：TPO7
The topic which is discussed in the reading material and the lecture is whether the American wood companies will try to get the ecocertification of their products. The passage claims that these companies will not adopt ecologically friendly practices as many wood companies around the world did, however, the speaker in the lecture disputes every reason listed in the reading material.

   According to the reading material, American consumers will not concern about what is talking about in an advertisement because they have been exposed to too much advertisements to pay attention to the ecocertification label. Whereas in the speaker’s opinion, the consumers all are aware of the importance of preserving and protecting the environment, so they do emphasize the ecocertification which is certified by an international consumer agency. They hold favorable attitude to the products that are ecocertificated.


Besides, the speaker asserts that everyone in the world cares about the prices of the products in the market. But price will be a determinant only if the difference between the prices of two competitive products is huge. So when the difference is slight, like just 5% of the price, other factors except price will be factors consumers would take into account. Then, the speaker disagrees with the passage again.



Last but not least, consumers in America really concern about the ecocertification, which is ignored by the reading. So if the American companies will not spare no effort to get the certification, foreign companies will crowd into the American market and cause fierce competition among all companies and finally, the consumers will be captured by those firms who own the certification.



   In a word, the conclusion in the reading is that the wood companies in America will not make any change to get the certification, nevertheless, the lecture effectively refutes the assertion made in the reading passage and clearly shows why the consumers will favor the certificated products more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
独立：5月30日 2011.3.19 NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.



Nowadays, no one can deny the fact that our world, even our lives, is made up of wide variety of media and information. We are now the sort of people who cannot survive without information and communication. So, it is very reasonable to say that the media, such as movies and televisions, actually bring more benefits toward our world than harm. Followings are my very reasons to support my assertion.



In the first place, we must admit that young people are the very group who need information most. They need to learn knowledge, to learn how to live in the world and to get involved in it. Then, the news, sports and even show programs on the televisions are helpful channels from which the young could keep up with the pace of the world. I still remember the nature programs I have seen on the television when I was a child. There was a sweet voice in the programs talking about various kinds of animal in the world, the cute ones, the creep ones and even the venomous ones. From the programs, I knew more about the world we are live in, and this is the thing we cannot get from classes or the teachers.


   When it comes to movies, I think at least 50% people are fans of movies. It is an extremely excited thing to talk about the coming of a Hollywood movie and no one can deny that the expecting and waiting process is really hard but meaningful. As for me, when I was in high school, I heard the news that the Mission Impossible II was coming soon. I was so excited that I made a deal with my mother that if I could get an A in the exam, she would permit me to watch the movie. After getting my mother’s words, I felt and acted like a strong fighter against all the difficulties I encountered in the studying material. Finally, I got not only the chance to watch my favorite movie, but also my mother’s trust and teachers’ ratification. So, what I mean to present here is that movies is not as simple as entertainments, they are sometimes the motivations and even hopes in our way of growth.


    Admittedly, the scenarios on the televisions and movies are sometimes violent and harmful to the growth of some children and there are actually many imitating behaviors among teenagers. What’s more, teenagers who always sit in the sofa watching TV could be caught in short-eyesight and terrible body condition. But if the parents and the teachers could guide and help them timely and correctly, they will definitely realize their faults and make progresses.



All in all, everything has its own good and bad influences on people, so do movies and televisions. But after the careful analysis above, I think the contributions of these two media cannot be neglected and denied. All we have to do is to have good control of ourselves and help the people around us not affected by the bad aspect of movies and televisions.

削梨儿

5.30
综合：TPO7
The topic which is discussed in the reading material and the lecture is whether the American wood companies will try to get the ecocertification of their products. The passage claims that these companies will not adopt ecologically friendly practices as many wood companies around the world did, however（是不是要另起一句捏，However）, the speaker in the lecture disputes every reason listed in the reading material.

  According to the reading material, American consumers will not concern about what is talking about in an advertisement because they have been exposed to too much advertisements to pay attention to the ecocertification label. Whereas in the speaker’s opinion, the consumers all are aware of the importance of preserving and protecting the environment, so they do emphasize the ecocertification which is certified（certificated） by an international consumer agency. They hold favorable attitude to the products that are ecocertificated.


Besides, the speaker （这里的speaker和最后一句的speaker应该不是一个吧，这样写会不会产生误会？我觉得换一个词表达比较好）asserts that everyone in the world cares about the prices of the products in the market. But price will be a determinant only if the difference between the prices of two competitive products is huge. So when the difference is slight, like just 5% of the price, other factors except price will be factors consumers would take into account. Then, the speaker disagrees with the passage again.



Last but not least, consumers in America really concern about the ecocertification, which is ignored by the reading. So if the American companies will not spare no effort to get the certification, foreign companies will crowd into the American market and cause fierce competition among all companies and finally, the consumers will be captured by those firms who own the certification.



  In a word, the conclusion in the reading is that the wood companies in America will not make any change to get the certification, nevertheless, the lecture effectively refutes the assertion made in the reading passage and clearly shows why the consumers will favor the certificated products more.

文章很好地表述了speaker的观点，并且一一反驳了passage里面的观点，逻辑清晰，用词也丰富，例如dispute, refute, spare no effort等。
我觉得二战你应该会上25的第一次改作文，欢迎互相交流

yuyiqi1105

谢谢小梨儿哈，你的建议很可取呢，立马改正一下~~
共勉呦！！！
祝我们所有小分队的队友作文都……步步高批改机——哪里不对改哪里！！一起进步哈！！~~

削梨儿

我改错了一个...certified是对的，sorry~~

yuyiqi1105

5.31 TPO8

The reading passage holds a skeptical attitude to the accuracy of the Chevalier’s memoir. Some critics claim that the Chevalier distorted and made up many events to make his storied seem more exciting and appealing. However, in the lecture, the speaker rejects every aspect listed in the passage thoroughly and carefully.



First of all, the critics in the passage hold that the Chevalier was actually poor because he borrowed lots of money when he was in Switzerland. But the lecturer says that the Chevalier needed to sell some his assets to get some cash and this would always take a few days for the assets to convert to money. So when the Chevalier ran out of cash and waited for the money, he would ask a merchant for help, which made him look poor. In fact, the Chevalier was not as poor as those critics thought.



In the second place, the passage argues that it is impossible for anyone to remember exact phrases from extended conversations after so many years. The lecturer points out that the Chevalier has a habit that every time after having talks with Voltaire, he would wrote down everything thing he could recall. Also the Chevalier has consulted his journals and dairies when he was writing the memoir. Then, the view in the passage is opposed.



Lastly, the reading material has some doubt about the account of the Chevalier’s escape from a prison, saying that he had politically friends so he could bribed the jailers to free him. Nevertheless, the speaker in the lecture questioned that other prisoners who had more powerful friends did not ended up getting out of the prison and that there were actually documents recording that the ceiling in the prison was repaired after the Chevalier broke out. Finally, all the factors in the passage were refuted.



In a nutshell, the lecturer effectively contradicts the point made in the passage that the Chevalier’s memoir is not convincing and shows every reasonable assertion to refute the critics in the reading.

teresaz318

The reading passage holds a skeptical attitude tothe accuracy of the Chevalier’s memoir. Some critics claim that the Chevalier distorted and made upmany events to make his storied seem more exciting and appealing. However, inthe lecture, the speaker rejects every aspect listed in the reading passage thoroughly andcarefully. （个人觉得thoroughly and carefully rejects every aspect listed in the reading passage更好）



First of all, the firstcritic in the passage holds that the Chevalier was actually poor because he borrowedlots of money when he was in Switzerland. But the lecturer says that theChevalier needed to sell some of his assets to get some cash and this would always take a fewdays for the assets to convert (converted) to money. So when the Chevalier ran out of cash and waitedfor the money, he would ask a merchant for help, which made him look (seems) poor. In fact, theChevalier was not as poor as those critics thought. (最后我认为可以直接说Chevalier 是rich, instead of poor 你最后这句感觉不够给力 因为他确实是有钱，而不是as poor as…)


In the second place, the passage argues that itis impossible for anyone to remember exact phrases from extended conversations after so many years.The lecturer points out that the Chevalier has had? a habit that every time afterhaving talks with Voltaire, he would wrote down everything thing he couldrecall. Also the Chevalier has consulted (review??) his journals and dairies when he was writing the memoir.Then, the view in the passage is opposed. Passage 这个词好像不可以单独用可以说the reading/ the reading passage但就不能单独使用the passage LZ还是注意一下好了！


Lastly, the reading material has some doubts about the account of theChevalier’s escape from a prison; saying that he had politically friends so he could bribed －could 后面用原型 the jailers to free him. Nevertheless, the speaker in the lecture questioned 过去式嘛？应该统一一个事态把，前面用什么后面最后就什么 that other prisoners who had more powerful friends did notended up getting out of the prison and that分开一句可能会清晰一点儿 there were actually documents recording that theceiling in the prison was repaired after the Chevalier broke out. Finally, all the factors in thepassage were refuted.



In a nutshell, the lecturer effectivelycontradicts the point made in the passage that the Chevalier’s memoir is notconvincing and shows every reasonable assertion to refute the critics in thereading.


赞一个，基本上文章的points 都写出来了～～ 只是一些小问题要注意，LZ好厉害写了好多字，我typing 还需要进步～～

好吧～ 加油一个，有什么问题可以问我哦，哎呀，改作文我还需要继续学习！