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回报ChaseDream论坛TOEFL 写作专区,28分心经【非大牛】

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楼主
发表于 2012-5-2 19:07:42 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
独立策略】冒着贻笑大方的风险,Music同学,为了表达对鸟儿妈和CD浓郁的感激之情,今天特此写出自己备考期间的心得体会,个人作文数据为2012年3月24日TOEFL-Writing单项28,因此,希望自己的总结可以slightly帮助到一些人~~~我不得不承认我写出的文章都很八股,没有很多艺术气息,因为我基本都是遵循下面的原则。这些原则限制了你写作的很多结构和发挥空间,但是对我而言,应试足矣。所以请大家带上各自批判的眼光去看以下我要发表的言论。

我要讲的有三点:

1、首段要优美且明确地摆出主论点、
2、分段的分论点的逻辑链要随时切合主论点、
3、结尾段对全文的points进行归纳、总结;再次摆明自己的观点,首尾呼应 。

In the first place,first impression is always extremely important,所以我认为大家第一段下多大的精力去美化都是不为过的,想要脱颖而出,依靠第一段建立一个美好的第一印象,去吸引ETS老年痴呆阅卷员们的注意力 是一个非常nice的策略。
针对自己的状况,选取一款个人特色的修辞手法,排比句式,反问句式,引用名人的sayings、或者倒叙,总之就是采取各种能够让自己鹤立鸡群的手法,迅速地获得质量较高的Attention;然后在段尾一定要清晰地让摆出自己本文的主论点。

In the second place,我认为TOEFL-Writing,independent writing文章结构层面考察的是:你的分论点是如何高效地support你的总论点的。罗列你自己的逻辑链条。当然这个过程中一定要有很多漂亮的链接词。分论点与主论点的切合度,就是你的分论点要紧紧围绕主题,比如假设我们在写一篇people who live in rural areas can take better care of their family than those who live in cities我们不能在分论点里面一致罗列各种"农村居住比城市好”的事实以及例证,其实我们要做的是写一篇因为“因为农村居住比城市好,所以住在农村照顾家人更好”的文章,随时随地不能忘记你的逻辑链条,否则你就让人感觉切合度不够!

Last but not least,最后一段是总结段,大家可以把你第一段的point再次罗列一遍,stress一下,然后进行结尾段对全文的points进行归纳、总结;再次摆明自己的观点,首尾呼应。


好吧,以上就是我的八股作文思路。顺便贴出一篇自己按照以上思维写出的文章作为Example.


33Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.


Have you f
ound that the tempers of the young people get worse and worse after enjoying the violent movies and TV programs?Have you found that  the young are spending days too fast just because of watching movies and television ?Or have you unconsciously foundthat more and more young peopleare wearing glasses just because they
watch TV everyday? If so ,you might deeply stand on my side that movies and television are playing a relatively negetive role in our daily life.

To begin with,the increasing rate of criminals among the young people have support the view that movies and television are conducting the behaviors of the young .Statistics have revealed that more than half of the young criminals they do things such as rob or rape Just because they are imitating the superstars in the movies or they learn such behaviors form TV.Therefore,it is obvious that violent movies and TV plays are mentally endagering the young people.

Additionally ,watching too much movies and TV will surely take up too much time for other things .Take my college roomate for example,he was once crazy about the Japanese cartoons.The first thing he came back from school would always be turning on the computers,and keep his bodies unmoved by staring at the cartoons all the time.Unfortunatly after he finished the last episode of Japanese cartoon,he also get a average 50 scroes out of 100 in his finnal examination. Therefore,it is unwise for one take up too much on movies and TV.

Finally,you might be surprised when we find more and more childred wear glasses at a very young age.I would like to attribute much of this phenomenon to movies and TV. Obviously,It's bad for our eyes if when stare at one thing too much time.We should take rest for the sakes of our eyes,but TV and movie lovers never care about this truth.

To sum up,if you are not a good manager of yourself ,you might endanger yourself by movies and TV. So why not be a little wise and put some of your Movie or TV time to other more siginificant things?

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沙发
发表于 2012-5-2 19:22:04 | 只看该作者


Music 老师真是寓教于乐啊!!!

我带着复杂崇拜读完了,太实用了!

谢谢~
板凳
发表于 2012-5-2 19:32:44 | 只看该作者
正在学习写作的路上,
看到了楼主的帖子,
给我很多启发,
愿如楼主一般,
能够通过努力与奋斗,
取得好成绩~
地板
发表于 2012-5-3 11:55:24 | 只看该作者
膜拜下music同学~~
5#
发表于 2012-5-4 18:46:56 | 只看该作者
每一点都特别好,真正运用的话还需要自己的反复磨练....
值得反复研读的心经!!!每次写完都可以来以这几点看自己的文章并作出修改,赞死了!
6#
发表于 2012-6-10 13:37:49 | 只看该作者
受教了,非常实用~
7#
发表于 2012-7-2 19:49:31 | 只看该作者
思路很清晰,谢谢
8#
发表于 2012-8-9 16:40:02 | 只看该作者
实战性非常强的一篇心经~ 后期的确应该将自己的写作思路维持在一个稳定的pattern里~ LZ思路清晰呀~赞一个!

ps:吐个槽,我仔细看作文范例,发现finally的eye effecting的例子不support the main topic, "the negative/ positive effects on the way people behave"

但是文章是篇好文章呀~
9#
发表于 2012-8-9 22:08:10 | 只看该作者
thxs
10#
发表于 2012-9-8 22:30:59 | 只看该作者
我其实想请教一个问题,那个写作里是不是不用第二人称比较好呢,总觉得考官看到的时候会觉得是自己有点小尴尬
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