瓜瓜卷土重来啦！！！！

婷婷connie

5.4 独立改文
5月4日10.8.28 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The main purpose for people who have jobs is for money rather than social status.


Living in this fast-pace society, people rush to work. Buried oneself in heavy work, people seem to have no rest to think about what they are working for. Though it may seem to be quite realistic to say that people work for money rather than social status, I am in favor of the statement that the main purpose for people to have job is for many. And here are my reasons.
开头很好呀~（补充一个词，功利主义utilitarian）
First of all, there is no doubt that money is the direct incentive for people to have job(加上“因为它可以满足人们的物质需求”).It is well improved that the money stimulatesand drives people to work. As the saying goes, money is not everything, but no money is totally unacceptable.（这句话是找来的吗？后半句我感觉怪怪的） It is with money that people can buy food, can have place to live. However, I am not saying that the social status is not important. If analyzing this question on a material aspect, money is definitely more essential than social status. Flame and reputation do count in some respects, but they can solve（meet） people daily needs.

In addition, money is a quite effective and efficient way to motivate people, and that is what we call bonus. Usually, companies offer an attractive bonus to those employees who work hard or solve a specific problem during work. And this kind of material award gives more direct and powerful drive than the social status does. It is a true story happened in the famous company called Huawei. A few years ago, this IT company met a technological problem, and the problem remained unsolved after several months. At the end, the manager proposed that the one solved the problem was going to have a large amount of money. In no more than（within） two weeks, the problem was solved.(Thus, )It cannot deny the magic power of money.

Last but not least, money is a more realistic（用过了，换practical） way than social status to evaluate employees’ work. It turns out employees are always satisfied by this direct way to be paid off, which benefits both employees and employers.瓜瓜这是不是少了一个例子？

To sum up, because(since更好点)money is the most direct incentive to workers, and it motivates and satisfies people more effectively than social statues, I hold the belief tightly that people work for money rather than social statues.

Conclusion：

1.文字很不错，基本上没有错的！

2.不过观点方面还要加强哦，感觉前面两个段的论点表达得有点像。用例子把他们区分吧

瓜瓜不瓜

5.5  TOP6

Comparing with traditional encyclopedias, the passage lists three demerits of communal online encyclopedias. However, the lecturer cites several reasons to question the author’s opinion.

To begin with, the lecture points out that even though there are errors in communal encyclopedias, traditional encyclopedias are never closely perfect as well. What is more, it is more convenient to correct errors on the Internet than offline. It is a obvious advantage the communal encyclopedias have and challenges the author’s criticism on online encyclopedias.

Furthermore, the lecture contradicts the article statement that communal encyclopedias are often vulnerable to the corruption of unscrupulous users. As the lecturer says, with two methods that adopted nowadays—one is to use reading-only format, another is to recruit special online editor—the problem can be solved.

Last but not least, the lecture put forward the opinion that the unlimited space of communal encyclopedias are better than traditional ones, which conflicts with the author’s opinion. As the Internet offers a larger space, it allows users to explore topics more deeply.

To sum up, the lecture demonstrate some merits of online encyclopedias.

瓜瓜不瓜

5.5 独立NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should help children to do their work rather than encouraging them to do the work on their own.

It is a universal truth that as the first teacher of a child, parents play an essential role in child’s growth. Thus, what kind of education parents adopted directly put a great influence on what kind of person a child is going to be. Nowadays, there is a hot debate on whether parents should help children to do their work or encourage them do do work by themselves. Personally, I stand for the idea that parents should allow and encourage children do things on their own.

To begin with, there is no doubt that allowing children to deal with their own stuff can make children independent, which is a good characteristic for their growth. Take a well-known true story about Einstein as example to help me to clarify this point. It happened when Einstein was in elementary school. One day the teacher asked each student to make a wooden stool. While most students turned to their parents for help, Einstein finished this homework by his own. What is more, he made three stools, without help of parents. Though his stool were not as good-looking as others’, he grew from the work and stepped toward independence, which became the key factor to his success.

In addition, only by doing thing by their own can children gain the happiness from process. And only though the hardness can children learn a lesson from growth. A survey conducted by Xinghua University shows that children who are willing to deal with things by themselves in teenagers are more inclined to succeed in their future career. The investigators gives two reasons to explain the outcome: for one thing, children learn from the process; for another, children tend to treasure the success once them gain it by their own.

Admittedly, as it is human nature, parents are willing to set everything for children.  However, it may be the best way for children’s growth. What if something happens that parents cannot help to set down? Parents age, and finally one day them can help children anymore. Allowing children learn to deal with things earlier, and giving them encouragement are the best action parents should take.

To sum up, children’s self-management makes children more independent, gives them opportunities to experience the happiness and misery , and makes them treasure success. Thus, I hold the belief that parents should encourage children to do work by their own.

Herisson0509

Comparing with traditional encyclopedias, the passage lists three demerits of communal online encyclopedias. However, the lecturer cites several reasons to question the author’s opinions.

To begin with, the lecture points out that even though there are errors in communal encyclopedias, traditional encyclopedias are never closely perfect as well. What is more, it is more convenient to correct errors on the Internet than offline. It is a obvious advantage the communal encyclopedias have, which challenges the author’s criticism on online encyclopedias.

Furthermore, the lecture contradicts the article statement that communal encyclopedias are often vulnerable to the corruption of unscrupulous users. As the lecturer says, with two methods that adopted nowadays—one is to use reading-only format, another is to recruit special online editor—the problem can be solved.这段可以再加些内容进来把每种方法的作用写出来不然显得你听到的内容太少了哎我第二个way木有听到

Last but not least, the lecture puts forward the opinion that the unlimited space of communal encyclopedias are better than traditional ones, which conflicts with the author’s opinion. As the Internet offers a larger space, it allows users to explore topics more deeply.The diversity of use in topics can reflect the great diversity of users' interests that online encyclopedias offer is one of their strongest advantages



To sum up, the lecture demonstrates some merits of online encyclopedias.结尾如果想加一句的话 我建议你去找句比较不错的借鉴一下


瓜瓜真的要提升一下字数了考试要求最少要225字的

把听到的key points 都写出来给ETS证明一下你听懂了

瓜瓜不瓜

啊 最少要225个字啊！！！？ 我担忧了

瓜瓜不瓜

刺猬 你貌似弄错了哦 综合字数是150-225之间 不是说不少于225呢。

还有你批改中，把倒数第二段划蓝色是什么意思？没有看懂额。。

瓜瓜不瓜

TOP7 integrated writing
The reading passage explores the issue of ecocertification. The professor’s lecture deals with the same issue. However, he thinks that the wood company in US will and have to do adopt the econcertification, which contradicts what the reading states. And in the lecture, he uses three specific points to support his idea.

First, even though the passage suggests that American consumers do not value or trust advertisement because they are exposed to too many advertisement, the professor points out that it is not true. The lecture says American consumers do distinct some specific ones from numerous advertisement, and they do trust certification granted by independent agency with worldwide reputation. These facts demonstrate ecocertification is rather in need, which obviously challenge the statement made by the passage.

In addition, despite the view in the reading passage that ecocertification will increase the prince of wood, the professor shows that price is only taken into consideration when the difference of price is small. That is to say, the additional cost of ecocertification is not the reason keep wood factory from the action.

Last, the professor claims that pursuing certification makes sense for wood company in US, whereas the passage asserts this movement is meaningless. The lecture states that if the wood companies do capture with others from the rest of the word, then the domestic wood company will be ruled out from the furious market competition.

瓜瓜不瓜

迟到了。。婷婷 比啊内
5月6日10.10.30 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

Education seems to be a permanent topic of human beings, as it plays such an important role in one life. With rapid development of society, it is no doubt that people are now easier to become educated than in the past. Here are my reasons.

First of all, comparing to the past, it is a worldwide truth that people have more opportunities now to get education. While campuses enlarge the enrolment, more school are being built up, which means more teenagers as well as adults can go to class to get educated. Dated back to the old days in China, only boys are allowed to go to school, whereas girls who long for knowledge have no way to get educated. What is worse, as the tuition fee is so high, it is impossible for children from poor families to afford it. Luckily, situation has been largely improved now, and going to school is no longer a dream for every child.

In addition, modern society provides people multiplied of resources, which are helpful for their study. Many public libraries are set up in most cities, and lots of public lectures and speeches are delivered all over the world. Besides, internet enriches our access to search information, allowing us to get what we want without the limit of distance. When I was young and the internet was not so widely used, I wanted to read a novel book, but neither the local book store nor the library had a copy. At the end, I had to give up the intention. However, with Internet, I can buy books online, or download whatever I like to read. It is obvious that we get lots of convenience from Internet.

Admittedly, there are too much information around us nowadays, and it is difficult for us to identify which is true. However, through the process of require true information, people gain the ability of discrimination, which is also an objective of education.

To sum up, because of larger enrollment and more resource accesses, we can safely arrive that People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

婷婷connie

5.6 综合改
TOP7 integrated writing
The reading passage explores the issue of ecocertification. The professor’s lecture deals with the same issue. (这两句话这么改吧：Both the reading passage and the professor's lecture explore the issue of ecocertification.显得简洁些)However, he thinks that the wood company in US will and have to do adopt the econcertification, which contradicts what the reading states. And in the lecture, he uses three specific points to support his idea.

First, even though the passage suggests that American consumers do not value or trust advertisementsbecause they are exposed to too many advertisements, the professor points out that it is not true. The lecture says American consumers do distinct some specific ones from numerous advertisement, and they do trust certification granted by independent agency(agencies通常二选一： the agency/agencies之前什么都不加)with worldwide reputation. These facts demonstrate ecocertification is rather in need, which obviously challenge the statement made by the passage.

In addition, despite the view in the reading passage that ecocertification will increase the prince（price） of wood, the professor shows that price is only taken into consideration when the difference of price is small(big这里瓜瓜是不是写错了，应该是价格差别很大的时候，消费者才会考虑价格的因素). That is to say, the additional cost of ecocertification is not the reason keep(to keep/ keeping) wood factory from the action.

Last, the professor claims that pursuing certification makes sense for wood company in US, whereas the passage asserts this movement is meaningless. The lecture states that if the wood companies do capture with others from the rest of the word, then the domestic wood company will be ruled out from the furious market competition.

建议瓜瓜在这里加一个结尾哦，就多一句话不过会显得结构很完整

Conclusion：1.观点、细节都给出了，模板用得融为一体了，很好！

          2.注意冠词的使用

瓜瓜，加油~

婷婷connie

5.6 独立 改文
没事的，婷婷这才开始改呢~
5月6日10.10.30 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

Education seems to be a permanent topic of human beings, as it plays such an important（瓜瓜换个更高级的词哦，感觉important太常见了，用essential/vital/inevitable） role in one life. With rapid development of society, it is no doubt that people are now easier to become educated than in the past. Here are my reasons.

First of all, comparing to the past, it is a worldwide truth that people have more opportunities now to get education. While campuses enlarge the enrolment（enrollment）, more schools are being built up, which means more teenagers as well as adults can go to class to（删掉） get educated. Dated(dating) back to the old days in China, only boys are(were) allowed to go to school, whereas girls who long（longed）for knowledge have（had) no way to get educated. What is worse, as the tuition fee is（was） so high, it is(was) impossible for children from poor families to afford it. Luckily, situation has been largely improved now, and going to school is no longer a dream for every child.（瓜瓜,我感觉dating back这个例子用过去式比较好）

In addition, modern society provides people multiplied of resources, which are helpful for their study. Many public libraries are set up in most cities（metropolises）, and lots of public lectures and speeches are delivered all over the world. Besides, internet enriches our access to search information, allowing us to get what we want without the limit of distance（and time时间限制也可以放进去）. When I was young and the internet was not so widely used, I wanted to read a novel book, but neither the local book store nor the library had a copy. At the end, I had to give up the intention. However, with Internet, I can buy books online, or download whatever I like to read. It is obvious that we get lots of convenience from Internet.

Admittedly, there are too much information around us nowadays, and it is difficult for us to identify which is true. However, through the process of require true information, people gain the ability of discrimination, which is also an objective of education.
瓜瓜的让步段不太切题，这里变成写信息的discrimination了，可以写;虽然现在的教育变得容易了，但是不容忽视的是很多rural area的人任然不能受到很好的学习。但是with the joint effort of the government and society，这一现状会逐渐改善。


To sum up, because of larger enrollment and more resource accesses, we can safely arrive（嘿嘿，这个表达好，婷婷学走了）that People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

Conclusion：瓜瓜的文章现在已经没有错了，逻辑也很好。不过让步段要注意切题哦。继续保持吧~