【写作小分队】八戒的作文贴

lixiang8747

2月21日，写到一半突然觉得还是支持比较好写。什么时候才能变得写作文可以闹肚子啊。


2月21日 2010.8.28NADo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Since people care public recognition more than money, they will work harder to obtain public recognition even though there is no more money given. Use specific reasons to support your answer.





Some people care public recognition so they will work harder to obtain public recognition even though there is no more money given. However,I do not agree with the statement and I believe that people care public recognition when they have enough money to spent. Because everyone needs money to support his family and enjoy life and this is the most important reason why people go to work.



People may gain public recoginition and money at the same time when they have a good profession such as an athelet or a movie star. But compare with the public recognition. I think most people will consider money as their first reason to work not only because they have to use money to support their life but also because a good paid may another way to gain public recognition. For example. A new basketball star Jeremy Lin just recived a big contract which about five millions a year from his boss since he helped the team won nine games in last two weeks. But he had to share the bedroom with his brother two weeks before because he had little paid and the rent in New york is very expensive. He is very famours before he recived the big contract already. But I think Jeremy would like to earn more money before he get famous because nobody wants to share a bedroom with others and just sleep in a couch.



Futuremore, people may donate their money to church or the red cross society to attract public recognition. What is more, people may also do some special things with their money. For example, Jim Rogers, one of the most famours investor and banker in the world. He started traveling around the world when he retired in 1980 and he had been to more than 100 countries in several years which became another guinness world record.



On the other hand, people work for money does not mean people work only for money. Consider money as the only reason may make the society become cold-blooded. What is more, some people care public recognition more than money such as professors of scientist. For instance, Sir Issac Newton had lots of accomplishments in his early life because he focus on research and study. However, he had no big accomplishments in his old age because he though about earn money and enjoyed his luxury life only.



Over all, there is no doubt that people care public recogniton. But people have to earn enough money to support their life before care public recogniton.

Aviva0307

2月21日 2010.8.28NADo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Since people care public recognition more than money, they will work harder to obtain public recognition even though there is no more money given. Use specific reasons to support your answer.





Some people care public recognition so they will work harder to obtain public recognition even though there is no more money given. However,I do not agree with the statement and（分两句写也可以吧，否则句子太长了） I believe that people care public recognition when they have enough money to spent. Because everyone needs money to support his family（Because引导这个只是原因状语从句，不能单独做句子）and enjoy life and this is the most important reason why people go to work.



修改建议：There is a statement that some people care public recognition so they will work harder to obtain public recognition even though there is no more money given. However, I do not agree with the statement. I believe that people care public recognition when they have enough money to spend. This is because the reason why people go to work is that everyone needs money to support his family.



People may gain public recoginition and money at the same time when they have a good profession such as an athelet or a movie star. But compare with the public recognition. I think most people will consider money as their first reason to work not only because they have to use money to support their life but also because a good paid may be another way to gain public recognition. For example. (逗号吧)A new basketball star Jeremy Lin just received a big contract which about five millions a year from his boss since he helped the team won nine games in the last two weeks. But he had to share the bedroom with his brother two weeks before because he had little paid and the rent in New york is very expensive. He is very famours before he received the big contract already. But I think Jeremy would like to earn more money before he get famous because nobody wants to share a bedroom with others and just sleep in a couch.这段的中心意思是：most people will consider money as their first reason to work because a good paid may be another way to gain public recognition？举的例子没有很好地证明money如何能带来recognition. 或者，如果用这个栗子的话，本段中心可以写成Even though people have great pubic reputation, they still need work hard to earn more money.



Futuremore, people may donate their money to church or the red cross society to attract public recognition. Thus, money is still a useful stimulus to encourage people work hard, even though they value public recognition. What is more, people may also do some special things with their money. For example, Jim Rogers, one of the most famours investor and banker in the world. Hestarted traveling around the world when he retired in 1980 and he had been to more than 100 countries in several years which became another guinness world record.(What is more后面及example, 只谈money,没联系reputation~~算不算有点偏离主题呢？)



On the other hand, people work for money does not mean people work only for money. Consider money as the only reason may make the society become cold-blooded.(发散扩展了，与话题讨论的中心关系不密切。最好换成个“有人努力赚钱，并不是单纯想要钱”的具体例子)What is more, some people care public recognition more than money such as professors of scientist (science). For instance, Sir Issac Newton had lots of accomplishments in his early life because he focus on research and study. However, he had no big accomplishments in his old age because he though about(?) earn money and enjoyed his luxury life only.（本段你貌似想表达两层意思。那，这两层意思，怎么结合成本段的中心意思的？本段的中心意思是什么呢？）



Over all, there is no doubt that people care public recognition. But people have to earn enough money to support their life before care public recognition.





我觉得命题作文，最保险的做法是每一段中心意思都紧紧围绕着题干的话题写。不要思维太发散、扩展太多吧~~ 例如本题，紧紧围绕public reputation和money对激励员工工作（work hard）的影响就行了。

lixiang8747

The lecture apparently rufute the points illustrate in the reading material. According to the professor, he believe that the American companies will eventually seek certification for their wood products.On the contrary, the reading contends an opposite stand that wood company in the United states will not seek certification for their wood products

The first point the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading is that American consumers do not trust certifications all the time. They consider independent agency only, which differ from the statement in the reading material that they would not value or even pay attention to the ecocertification label.

Another evidence the speaker adopts to contradict the passage is that he think American consumers do not compare price only when the prices much higher or lower. Consumers compare prices if the prices are close. However, the reading states that American consumers tend to be strongly motivated by price,and therefore they are likely to choose cheeper uncertified wood products.

In the conclusion, the professor states another different statement that Americans companies have to pursuing certification or other foreign certification companies will dominate the wood market in the American market.

lixiang8747

2月22日 2010.10.9NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Compared with people who live in cities, people who live in rural areas can take better care of their families. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

I disagree with the statement that people who live in suburban areas can take better care of their families than people who live in cities. There are couples of reasons to support my point.

The most important reason that I consider people live in cities can take care their families better is that the medical care. There are a lot of hospitals and doctors who have more experiences in the city. However, people have to go to smaller clinic that does not have abundant medical devices, doctors and nurses. My university was located far from city. One of my classmates broke his arm once in a basketball match. The ambulance took him to the clinic which is close to university, however,doctor said that he was so badly hurt that he is not cofidence enough to operate the surgery. Thus,the ambulance took us to a hospital which was located in the city and doctors there started the surgery as soon as they can. The surgery was succesful and what I learned from this experience is that hospital and famous doctors have more possibllity to help people recover from badly injuries or illness. This is the reason why I consider people live in cities may take care their families better.

Another reason is that there are a lot of facilities that do not exist in suburban areas such as public library, musems and sports complex. For example, one of my friend live in a ranch lanley, a quite small city in vancouver, Britishi Columbia. His wife and kids love there very much because of the fresh air and low density of population. However, he is worry about that his kids have low chance to participate a hockey team because there have no place to play hockey so that kids cannot doing enough sports excises. Thus, it may not a good choice to stay in rural area to take care families.

Also,living in rural area may hard to buy some delicious or popoular foods though people can enjoy fresh fruits and vagetables in this areas. Without balanced nurtrition, it may hard to have a healthy body. This is another reason why people should live in city to take better care of their families.

Overall, there are more advantages to live in city to take good care of faimilies than live in ruarl areas. Though living in subueban may enjoy fresh air,fruits and vagetables. I stronglly support the statement that live in city is the best choice if people want to take better care of their families.

boboo

Thelecture apparently rufute(refutes)  the points which(illustrate也可以用分词形式就不用从句了)illustrate in the reading material. According to the professor, he believes that the American companies willeventually seek certification for their wood products. On the contrary, the reading contends an opposite standthat wood company in the United States will not seek certification for theirwood products(和前一句重复得有点厉害了).

Thefirst point the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading is that American consumers do not trust certifications all thetime（这句话结构缩减后是The fist point is that… 宾语从句，从句应是lecture的观点）. They consider independentagency only, which differsfrom the statement in the reading material that they would not value or evenpay attention to the ecocertification label.

Another evidence the speaker adopts to contradictthe passage is that he thinksAmerican consumers do not compare price only when the prices much higher or lower（我觉得可以这样the difference between two prices is great，也不是特别好，应该还有更好的表达方法）. Consumers will compare prices if the prices are close. However, the readingstates that American consumers tend to be strongly motivated by price, andtherefore they are likely to choose cheeper（cheaper）uncertified wood products.


Inthe conclusion, the professor states another different statement that Americanscompanies have topursuing（pursue）certification or（otherwise更好？） other foreign certification companies will dominate the woodmarket in the American market. （第三点的话最好不要in the conclusion，这点可以再详细点，其实这点我也听得不是特别清楚）

高亮精彩，红色错误，蓝色疑问~~~

noarkid

2月22日 2010.10.9NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Compared with people who live in cities, people who live in rural areas can take better care of their families. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

I disagree with the statement that people who live in suburban areas can take better care of their families than people who live in cities.（最好不要第一句话亮剑，我也不知道为什么，网上是这么建议的） There are couples of reasons to support my point.

The most important reason that I consider people live in cities can take care their families better is that the medical care. （个人觉得表达有点罗说而且有一点别扭，我会这么表达：Fist of all, the people live city would have better medical care, which will help to take care of the families better. ）There are a lot of hospitals and doctors who have more experiences in the city. (hospital 和 doctor不应该能够并列， 建议改成（there are a lot more hospitals there and the doctors there have more experience(经验貌似不可数)）)However, people have to go to smaller clinic that does not have abundant medical devices, doctors and nurses.（这句话直接说就是However, people have to go to smaller clinic别的都是修饰吧， 明显和前面的话逻辑接不上。这句话没想好怎么改） My university was located far from city. One of my classmates broke his arm once in a basketball match.（There was a time when one of my classmates broke his arm at a basketball match） The ambulance took him to the clinic which is close to university, however,doctor said that he was so badly hurt that he is not confidence enough to operate the surgery. （你这个however很有问题，however在句中等于在句首，你看看句子意思）Thus,the ambulance took us to a hospital which was located in the city(不觉得in the city 更简单吗？) and doctors there started the surgery as soon as they can. The surgery was succesful and what I learned from this experience is that hospital and famous doctors have more possibility to help people recover from badly injuries or illness. This is the reason why I consider people live in cities may take care their families better.

Another reason is that there are a lot of facilities that(你已经用了好多次that了这次改成which吧) do not exist in suburban areas such as public library, museums and sports complex. For example, one of my friend live in a ranch lanley, a quite small city in Vancouver, British Columbia. His wife and kids love there very much because of the fresh air and low density of population. However, he is worry about that his kids have low chance to participate a hockey team because there have no place to play hockey so that kids cannot doing enough sports excises. (不知道怎么改)Thus, it may not (be) a good choice to stay in rural area to take care families.

Also,living in rural area may hard to buy some delicious or popular foods though people can enjoy fresh fruits and vagetables in this areas. Without balanced nutrition, it may hard to have a healthy body. This is another reason why people should live in city to take better care of their families.

Overall, there are more advantages to live in city to take good care of families than live in ruarl areas. Though living in subueban may enjoy fresh air,fruits and vagetables. I stronglly support the statement that live in city is the best choice if people want to take better care of their families.

蓝色是不确定，我自己也不确定这么改好不好，红色是建议，最好按我说的改了。另外，感觉你得长句好像用得偏多了。

lixiang8747

2月23日 2010.10.23NADo you agree or disagree with the following statement? The advice from grandparents has no use for their grandchildren because the world changed a lot during the past 5o years. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

















Grandparents would glad to give advices to their grandchildren in order to help them overcome difficulties and be better and better. However, I believe the advives from grandparents are likely to help grandchildren since the world has changed a lot in the last several decades. The only thing that has never changed is I keep receive a lot of advices and loves from my grandparents.











Due to love and responsible, grandparents always tell their grandchildren to do something like this or that. However, sometimes the advices are useless and grandchildren have to judge by themselves or get help from their parents or friends. For example, I lived with my grandfather and grandmother when I was a student in middle school. My desk top was broken down once and I had nothing to do with it. My grandfather suggested me to find some assistance from our neighbour who was an computer engineer. I insisted to take my computer to Bestbuy which the shop I bought it. Finally, the computer got even worse after the assistance from our neighbour and I had to take it to the shop. Fouthermore, the seller told me that the desktop was still in warranty and I did not need to pay for the repair process. My grandfater just want to save my time and money but made everything getting terrible.











Another reason why I consider advices from grandparents is I think those advices are old fation. I was going to attend a holloween party several years ago and I have to prepared the costumes. I told the situation to my grandmother and she decide to make one for me. I liked spiderman very much durning that period of time so I want to play spiderman. But my grandmother told me the clothes are ugly and she though I should play a wolves because she know one of my classmate was going to play a little girl in red hat. I did not take her advise because I want to be a hero in my classmates instead of an evil guy.











Though some advises may be not suitable for grandchildren. I know grandparents give advices to their grandchildren just because love and try their best to help their later genarations. Thus I try to follow their suggestions sometimes even I do not like those advices.











Overall, the world has changed a lot in the past 50 years, we are getting mature enough to face difficulties and challenges by ourselves. Advices from grandparents may become even useless in the future but grandchildren should treasure advises because those express the truly and purely love.







2月23日 2010.10.23NADo you agree or disagree with the following statement? The advice from grandparents has no use for their grandchildren because the world changed a lot during the past 5o years. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

















Grandparents would glad to give advices to their grandchildren in order to help them overcome difficulties and be better and better. However, I believe the advives from grandparents are likely to help grandchildren since the world has changed a lot in the last several decades. The only thing that has never changed is I keep receive a lot of advices and loves from my grandparents.











Due to love and responsible, grandparents always tell their grandchildren to do something like this or that. However, sometimes the advices are useless and grandchildren have to judge by themselves or get help from their parents or friends. For example, I lived with my grandfather and grandmother when I was a student in middle school. My desk top was broken down once and I had nothing to do with it. My grandfather suggested me to find some assistance from our neighbour who was an computer engineer. I insisted to take my computer to Bestbuy which the shop I bought it. Finally, the computer got even worse after the assistance from our neighbour and I had to take it to the shop. Fouthermore, the seller told me that the desktop was still in warranty and I did not need to pay for the repair process. My grandfater just want to save my time and money but made everything getting terrible.











Another reason why I consider advices from grandparents is I think those advices are old fation. I was going to attend a holloween party several years ago and I have to prepared the costumes. I told the situation to my grandmother and she decide to make one for me. I liked spiderman very much durning that period of time so I want to play spiderman. But my grandmother told me the clothes are ugly and she though I should play a wolves because she know one of my classmate was going to play a little girl in red hat. I did not take her advise because I want to be a hero in my classmates instead of an evil guy.











Though some advises may be not suitable for grandchildren. I know grandparents give advices to their grandchildren just because love and try their best to help their later genarations. Thus I try to follow their suggestions sometimes even I do not like those advices.











Overall, the world has changed a lot in the past 50 years, we are getting mature enough to face difficulties and challenges by ourselves. Advices from grandparents may become even useless in the future but grandchildren should treasure advises because those express the truly and purely love.

lixiang8747

2月23日 2010.10.23NADo you agree or disagree with the following statement? The advice from grandparents has no use for their grandchildren because the world changed a lot during the past 5o years. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

Grandparents would glad to give advices to their grandchildren in order to help them to overcome difficulties and be better and better. However, I believe the advives from grandparents are likely to help grandchildren since the world has changed a lot in the last several decades. The only thing that has never changed is I keep receive a lot of advices and loves from my grandparents.

Due to love and responsible, grandparents always tell their grandchildren to do something like this or that. However, sometimes the advices are useless and grandchildren have to judge by themselves or get help from their parents or friends. For example, I lived with my grandfather and grandmother when I was a student in middle school. My desk top was broken down once and I had nothing to do with it. My grandfather suggested me to find some assistance from our neighbour who was an computer engineer. I insisted to take my computer to Bestbuy which the shop I bought it. Finally, the computer got even worse after the assistance from our neighbour and I had to take it to the shop. Fouthermore, the seller told me that the desktop was still in warranty and I did not need to pay for the repair process. My grandfater just want to save my time and money but made everything getting terrible.

Another reason why I consider advices from grandparents is I think those advices are old fation. I was going to attend a holloween party several years ago and I have to prepared the costumes. I told the situation to my grandmother and she decide to make one for me. I liked spiderman very much durning that period of time so I want to play spiderman. But my grandmother told me the clothes are ugly and she though I should play a wolves because she know one of my classmate was going to play a little girl in red hat. I did not take her advise because I want to be a hero in my classmates instead of an evil guy.

Though some advises may be not suitable for grandchildren. I know grandparents give advices to their grandchildren just because love and try their best to help their later genarations. Thus I try to follow their suggestions sometimes even I do not like those advices.

Overall, the world has changed a lot in the past 50 years, we are getting mature enough to face difficulties and challenges by ourselves. Advices from grandparents may become even useless in the future but grandchildren should treasure advises because those express the truly and purely love.

晨依Jacqueline

顶八戒~！
不过话说要不要每段空这么大一块儿……
edit一下会更加美观哦~

Crystaljoy

八戒~师傅说你什么好呢~