前两次都是25，要三战了，求高人指点，求突破啊！！！

yzwdan818

决定加入作文小分队，好好练托福作文，3月30 号一战！希望大家多多帮助~尽情地指出我的各种错误和不足吧！！拜谢啊！
3月30一战25，6.15二战25分，我又要三战了！求狠批！求突破！谢谢大家了~

kellyzhou0000

Although we cannot get fully recognition of people by books and movies they read and watch, books and movies, I think,still can reflect some aspects of the people in some extent. The appetites for books and movies are inevitably associated with the age, education backgrounds and hobbies of people.

Obviously, we can tell people’s age by knowing their preference of books and movies. People under different ranges of age are in favor of different kinds of books, because people with distinctive age have different comments and altitudes（attitudes） upon the same piece of work. It’s their ages that determine the genre of books and movies they tend to appreciate. While my ten-years-old sister is crazy about fairy tale books and Cartoon movies, I strongly love novels and films depicting romantic story. And my parents, even older people(我语法不太好，感觉older前面用不用加the呢？), they prefer （to） historical books and war movies. Thus we can figure out people’s mysterious age from what they read and watch.

Also, we are able to points out people’s education background with the help of their loving books and movies. Occupying different extent of education, people show particular interests in readings and films.High-educated people usually like to read serious books and movies. On the contrary, low literate people prefer to funny works. Moreover, people with different majors also express different（可以用diverse么？） passion for books and movies in various areas. My teacher’s favorite books are masterpieces such as Meditations, but my uncle with litter（little） knowledge likes the joke books most. I read economic books most frequently, yet my friend Lily majored in painting enjoys art books. This is why books and movies can tell people our education background.

Apart from above opinions, we also obtain the ability to guess people’s hobbies by analyze（analyzing） what they read and watch. Nowadays,books become more and more specialized， and（similarly，） movies contain more and more different topics, thus they can meet most people’s unique demand. （这少个连词）People with different hobbies can choose their own hobby-related books and movies. Music-lover can read musical score and watch The Legend of 1900. And sports members will choose to see sports magazines and watch The Soccer Boy.这两个例子举的很赞！ So people will show their hobbies with their loving（可以换一下，favorite） books and movies.

Taking all the reasons into consideration,I agree with the statement that we can learn other people from books they read and movies they watch. We can get familiar with other people by asking the books and movie they like and choose friends with same interest by knowing their preference on books and movies.

抱歉这么晚才修改~昨天晚上有点事情没顾上...
楼主的文章整体结构很好，尤其喜欢每段开头的句子，表的的方式都不一样，我要学习一下！用词也挺丰富，就是有的有点词重复的感觉，我也不知道应该怎么用更合适的词去替换，比如different这种。
我的语法不是很好，要是哪些地方改的不对，我们再沟通哈~

sherlock1992

yzwdan818 发表于 2013-9-14 17:56
sherlock, 13号的作文依旧是我帮你改，今天我生日，所以晚上和同学出去吃饭，晚上回来再给你改，可能会晚 ...

没关系，生日快乐哦！

yzwdan818

sherlock1992 发表于 2013-9-10 17:51
童鞋，我的独立好了 http://forum.chasedream.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=836006&pid=18665493&page ...

sherlock, 13号的作文依旧是我帮你改，今天我生日，所以晚上和同学出去吃饭，晚上回来再给你改，可能会晚点，不好意思啊~

yzwdan818

9.13号独立

是否同意： One can learn another person from books and movies the personlikes.

你同不同意下列观点：通过一个人读的书和看的电影，我们就可以了解那个人

Although we cannot get fully recognition ofpeople by books and movies they read and watch, books and movies, I think,still can reflect some aspects of the people in some extent. The appetite for booksand movies are inevitably associated with the age, education backgrounds andhobbies of people.

Obviously, we can tell people’s age byknowing their preference of books and movies. People under different ranges ofage are in favor of different kinds of books, because people with distinctiveage have different comments and altitudes upon the same piece of work. It’stheir ages that determine the genre of books and movies they tend toappreciate. While my ten-years-old sister is crazy about fairy tale books andCartoon movies, I strongly love novels and films depicting romantic story. Andmy parents, even older people, they prefer to historical books and war movies. Thuswe can figure out people’s mysterious age from what they read and watch.

Also, we are able to points out people’s educationbackground with the help of their loving books and movies. Occupying differentextent of education, people show particular interests in readings and films.High-educated people usually like to read serious books and movies. On thecontrary, low literate people prefer to funny works. Moreover, people withdifferent majors also express different passion for books and movies in variousareas. My teacher’s favorite books are masterpieces such as Meditations, but myuncle with litter knowledge likes the joke books most. I read economic booksmost frequently, yet my friend Lily majored in painting enjoys art books. Thisis why books and movies can tell people our education background.

Apart from above opinions, we also obtain theability to guess people’s hobbies by analyze what they read and watch. Nowadays,books become more and more specialized and movies contain more and moredifferent topics, thus they can meet most people’s unique demand. People withdifferent hobbies can choose their own hobby-related books and movies. Music-lovercan read musical score and watch The Legend of 1900. And sports members willchoose to see sports magazines and watch The Soccer Boy. So people will showtheir hobbies with their loving books and movies.

Taking all the reasons into consideration,I agree with the statement that we can learn other people from books they readand movies they watch. We can get familiar with other people by asking thebooks and movie they like and choose friends with same interest by knowingtheir preference on books and movies.

暴风雨小圆

很厉害哦 大点基本上答到了 语法也正确。
第一次修改 请多多指教：）

暴风雨小圆

看到了 修改Ing

brittanyhxy

yzwdan818 发表于 2013-9-10 09:47
9.9独立   
The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes,  are more importan ...

批改见附件啊

yzwdan818

TPO6综合
The professor strongly refutes the author's statement that the communal online encyclopedias is less valuable for people for several reasons such as original inaccuracies, mistakes resulting by people's change and wrong focal points. He confutes the passage in three aspects.

Firstly, it's not the accuracy the professor thinks most important, because we can hardly find a book without any errors, not only in online books but also in printed books. What should we take into serious consideration is that whether the failures are easy to be corrected. Obviously, the one-line encyclopedias can easy be revised. However, the mistakes in printed encyclopedias usually remain decades. This directly contradicts the passage's point.

Secondly, the crucial parts of the on-line encyclopedias will not be changed as what the passage supposed. Two strategies have been carried out. People put the most significant part of the book in a special place so that nobody can change. And some people monitor changes in the book as their own job. This totally solves the problem in the reading.

Thirdly, the diversity of topics in on-line book is one of the most wonderful advantages. The printed encyclopedias have to make decision picking out the important topics due to their limited space. Nevertheless, their biases make it difficult for them to reflect people's real interest and demand. Oppositely, there are various kinds of topic including academic topics on the on-line encyclopedias, thus can meeting different people's appetites. The passage fails to be right again.

yzwdan818

pengxudong 发表于 2013-9-11 17:51
改完了，多写综合，提高会很快的哟

看了你的批改，我好像有点明白ETS给我作文写得评语了~多谢啊！其实你直接把修改的作文贴在我帖子里就行了，不用单独弄个word这么麻烦啊~
第二，三条批注我没有用that是因为我后面根本不是个句子，而是个比较长的名词短语，而我把which放后面的原因是避免看起来头重脚轻，你是刚考完GMAT咩？这两个问题是GMAT语法题里经常会出现的点。
再次感谢~受益良多啊！