【写作小分队之jason制造】

jasonliu119

3月4日 TPO18 综合写作（第二篇综合写作、、、、写的很水很短、、、）
In the lecture, the professor refutes the opinion that one or more ways mentioned in the passage can save the endangered Torreya. She states that none of the ways is a effective solution.


To begin with, the speaker indicates that the global warming lead to the climate change in the whole region of which the Torreya habitat forms a part. Thus, the place will no longer be suitable for the trees. This clearly contradicts the solution in the passage that the reestablishment of the Torreya can help the trees survive due to the beneficial microclimate of the region.


What is more, another statement of the speaker is that moving Torreys to the places further north than the original habitat will result in unpredictable results. In order to bolster her point, she also points out that one of kind of tree which once migrated to a new environment and killed the other trees and that the trees became endanger in the end. This undermined the second solution in the passage that the migration of the Torreya to the north, assisted by humans, will of great value.


Last but not least, the passage also suggests another way to help Torreya thrive that maintain these trees in the research center and protect them by the scientists. However, the lecture attacks this opinion claiming that a perfect habitat for trees should be covered with a large number of trees of great diversity. The professor implies that obviously the environment in the research center doesn't meet this condition of effective protection of Torreya and should not be chosen as the habitat of Torreya.


In retrospective, the points made by the speaker in the lecture contradict with what is represented in the passage. The speaker holds that none of the three solutions is a available way to address the problem of endangered Torreya.

qianjun06

7.11 后辈应否传父辈之衣钵？
Recently there is a heated debate in the society about the children's career choice. Some people argue that it is beneficial for the children to have the same job as his or her parents, whereas others insist that the jobs of the parents and their children should be different. As far as I am concerned, children should choose the resembling jobs as their parents.


To begin with, if the children have the same jobs of the parent, they have a good teacher too. Few can deny  the fact that there is no denying that it is much comfortable for you to ask a problem to your parent. And in most cases, the parent will give a satisfactory reply and answer the questions of the children patiently. Take my experience as an example. As a student who major in computer science, I will always meet some really difficult problems about the programming algorithms. My father who is a programmer in a famous IT company can always solve my problems easily and explain the solutions in details to me. I am so lucky to have a parent who is a master in my future career.


In addition ofif the professional knowledge which can be passed onfrom the parents to their children, some variable valuable experiences can be shared between the two generations. These experiences are of importance to the novices. I can't think of a better example than my friend, Jason, who chose teacher as his job. His mother also is a teacher. He told me that his mother often tells him about her teaching experiences which help him understand how to teach effectively, how to explain certain difficult knowledge and, mostly important, and how to develop a good relationship with his students. At his beginning of the career as a teacher, he found it hard to make himself understood. But after learning his mother’s experiences, he soon became a skillful teacher favored by all his students. Only with his mother's experiences can he make a big progress to become such an excellent teacher.


Last but not least, taking the same occupation can also be the topic for the two generations to discuss. There is no doubt that many youngsters nowadays find it hard to communicate with their parents since they have nothing in common--they listen to songs of distinct styles, they read different books and even they prefer different kinds of food. It does harm to the relationship of the parents and children if they have nothing in common. Nevertheless, if they share the resembling occupation, they can communicate with each other and exchange their opinions about the job. For instance, there will never be a scarcity of talking topics between my dad and me. If we have nothing else to talk, we just discuss the newest software or the advantages and disadvantages of certain type of computers. No one can fully understand how happy we are when we are talking about computers.


From what has been discussed above, we can easily draw the conclusion that it is very advantageous for the children and parents to have the same job. I highly recommend that children choose the job of their parents.

很中规中矩不错，应该听过戴云的课的吧，或者看过35个好句子。我看你有所应用，呵呵，加油，不错！你写的有些句子和例子都跟我有点类似，不过你的例子写的比我好，我感觉。

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

Recently there is a heated debate in the society about the children's career choice. Some people argue that it is beneficial for their children to have the same job as his or her parent, whereas others insist that the jobs of the parents and their children should be different. As far as I am concerned, children should（我一直觉得should太主观，所以就避免用这个词） choose the resembling jobs as their parent.

To begin with, if the children have the same jobs of the parent(as their parents), they have a good teacher (at the same time)too. Few can deny the fact that it is much comfortable for you to ask a problem to(from) your parent. And in most cases, the parent will give a satisfactory reply and answer the questions of their children patiently. Take my experience as an example. As a student who major in computer science, I will always meet some really difficult problems about the programming algorithms. My father who is a programmer in a famous IT company can always solve my problems easily and explain the solutions in details to me. I am so lucky to have a parent who is a master in my future career.

In addition of the professional knowledge which can be passed from the parents to their children, some variable experiences can be shared between the two generations. These experiences are of importance to the novices. I can't think of a better example than my friend, Jason, who chose teacher as his job. His mother also is a teacher. He told me that his mother often tells(taught) him about her teaching experiences which helped him understand how to teach effectively, how to explain certain difficult(complex) knowledge and, mostly important（most importantly）, how to develop a good relationship with his students. At his beginning of the career as a teacher, he found it hard to make himself understood. But after learning his mother’s experiences, he soon became a skillful teacher favored by all（避免用绝对化词汇额）his students. Only with his mother's experiences can he make a big progress to become such an excellent teacher.

Last but not least, taking the same occupation can also be the topic for the two generations to discuss. There is no doubt that many youngsters nowadays find it hard to communicate with their parents since they have nothing in common--they listen to songs of distinct styles, they read different books and even they prefer different kinds of food. It does harm to the relationship of the parents and children if they have nothing in common. Nevertheless, if they share the resembling occupation, they can communicate with each other and exchange their opinions about the job. For instance, there will never be a scarcity of talking topics between my dad and me. If we have nothing else to talk, we just discuss the newest software or the advantages and disadvantages of certain type of computers. No one can fully understand how happy we are when we are talking about computers.

From what has been discussed above, we（it is easy to） can easily draw the conclusion that it is very advantageous for the children and parents to have the same job. （Therefore）I highly recommend that children choose the job of their parents.

逻辑清晰，只是the用的特指好多四不？还有就是句子之间的衔接要好好处理一下了。

kchszy061ban

jason 亲，改我的吧，我忘了占座了，正好qianjun已经写过了。 然后我给你改下了

jasonliu119

Recently there is a heated debate in the society about the children's career choice. Some people argue that it is beneficial for the children to have the same job as his or her parent, whereas others insist that the jobs of the parents and their children should be different. As far as I am concerned, children should choose the resembling jobs as their parent.


To begin with, if the children have the same jobs of the parent, they have a good teacher too. Few can deny the fact that it is much comfortable for you to ask a problem to your parent. And in most cases, the parent will give a satisfactory reply and answer the questions of the children patiently. Take my experience as an example. As a student who major in computer science, I will always meet some really difficult problems about the programming algorithms. My father who is a programmer in a famous IT company can always solve my problems easily and explain the solutions in details to me. I am so lucky to have a parent who is a master in my future career.


In addition of the professional knowledge which can be passed from the parents to their children, some variable experiences can be shared between the two generations. These experiences are of importance to the novices. I can't think of a better example than my friend, Jason, who chose teacher as his job. His mother also is a teacher. He told me that his mother often tells him about her teaching experiences which help him understand how to teach effectively, how to explain certain difficult knowledge and, mostly important, how to develop a good relationship with his students. At his beginning of the career as a teacher, he found it hard to make himself understood. But after learning his mother’s experiences, he soon became a skillful teacher favored by all his students. Only with his mother's experiences can he make a big progress to become such an excellent teacher.


Last but not least, taking the same occupation can also be the topic for the two generations to discuss. There is no doubt that many youngsters nowadays find it hard to communicate with their parents since they have nothing in common--they listen to songs of distinct styles, they read different books and even they prefer different kinds of food. It does harm to the relationship of the parents and children if they have nothing in common. Nevertheless, if they share the resembling occupation, they can communicate with each other and exchange their opinions about the job. For instance, there will never be a scarcity of talking topics between my dad and me. If we have nothing else to talk, we just discuss the newest software or the advantages and disadvantages of certain type of computers. No one can fully understand how happy we are when we are talking about computers.


From what has been discussed above, we can easily draw the conclusion that it is very advantageous for the children and parents to have the same job. I highly recommend that children choose the job of their parents.

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

Recently there is a heated debate in today's society about whether or not（其实这个没有主语） to be patient. Some people argue that patience is one of the most important characteristics of the successful people, whereas others think it is necessary to take actions at once. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the later opinon (这里的转折有点突兀) I believe that patience is the better choice in most cases.

To begin with, we should not take actions if it is not the right timing. Few would deny the fact that only with appropriate timing and opportunity can we achieve success. I can't think of better example than the stock market which calls for accurate timing to invest. If you want to make profits in the stock market, you should wait for the good timing to buy or sell the stocks. Once the economic environment is bad, you may have to be patient and stay calm without taking any actions until the chance comes. In these cases, patience is the best strategy.(这里的例子不错额，嘿嘿)

What is more, since the situations change all the time, it is highly possible for us to make a wrong decision if we take actions at once. Take one of my experiences for instance. During my summer holidays before my second year in the university, I bought all the textbooks of the courses in（according to）my next courses schedule. Unfortunately, a few days before the new semester, I was told that some of the courses had been canceled because there were not enough students selecting these courses for the department to open the courses. As a result, I wasted my money on the textbooks I have bought. In short, sometimes we should not take our actions right away until we can clarify the situations.

On the other hand, I admit that, in certain cases, success requires us not to be patient and（这个可以不要，来突出你的主题） to take actions at once. For instance, Bill Gates dropped out of the university and began his own career. The reason why he started up in such a hurry is that if he didn't start up right way he might miss the best timing to start Microsoft Company whose market shares might be taken by other IT companies. Therefore, in such a situation, we should be decisive and act at once.

From what has been discussed above, we can draw a conclusion that in most cases we ought to be patient enough to wait for the right timing. Moreover, only when we have clarified the situations can we take some actions. However, under some circumstances, actions must be taken at once if we want to catch the appropriate chance to succeed.（其实这个就很迷惑了，应该把however这个放在前面然后来个转折说patience重要。）anyway，你的例证和段落结构很好啊，学习了。嘿嘿。

jasonliu119

Recently there is a heated debate in today's society about whether or not to be patient. Some people argue that patience is one of the most important characteristics of the successful people, whereas others think it is necessary to take actions at once. As far as I am concerned, patience is the better choice in most cases.


To begin with, we should not take actions if it is not the right timing. Few would deny the fact that only with appropriate timing and opportunity can we achieve success. I can't think of better example than the stock market which calls for accurate timing to invest. If you want to make profits in the stock market, you should wait for the good timing to buy or sell the stocks. Once the economic environment is bad, you may have to be patient and stay calm without taking any actions until the chance comes. In these cases, patience is the best strategy.


What is more, since the situations change all the time, it is highly possible for us to make a wrong decision if we take actions at once. Take one of my experiences for instance. During my summer holidays before my second year in the university, I bought all the textbooks of the courses in my next courses schedule. Unfortunately, a few days before the new semester, I was told that some of the courses had been canceled because there were not enough students selecting these courses for the department to open the courses. As a result, I wasted my money on the textbooks I have bought. In short, sometimes we should not take our actions right away until we can clarify the situations.


On the other hand, I admit that, in certain cases, success requires us not to be patient and to take actions at once. For instance, Bill Gates dropped out of the university and began his own career. The reason why he started up in such a hurry is that if he didn't start up right way he might miss the best timing to start Microsoft Company whose market shares might be taken by other IT companies. Therefore, in such a situation, we should be decisive and act at once.


From what has been discussed above, we can draw a conclusion that in most cases we ought to be patient enough to wait for the right timing. Moreover, only when we have clarified the situations can we take some actions. However, under some circumstances, actions must be taken at once if we want to catch the appropriate chance to succeed.

jasonliu119

In this lecture, the professor casts doubt on the opinion in the passage that the pollution results in the decline of the sea otters. He thinks that the predator theory is actually the real reason.
To begin with, the passage states that the pollution sources were found along the Alaskan coast and they killed the sea otters by releasing the harmful chemical. However, the lecturer disagrees with this statement by pointing out the fact that few dead sea otters were found. This phenomenon, which obviously contradicts the pollution theory, makes sense if it was the predators that accounted for the decrease of the sea otters.
In addition, to order to bolster its opinion, the reading says that other species were also declining and the predators usually eat larger prey, which indicates the environmental pollution is the real killer of the sea otters. But the professor contradicts this statement. The larger prey such as whales, according to the proffesor, have been largely hunted by humans and, as a result, the sea predators have to change their diet habit to feed on smaller animals such as sea otters, seals and sea lions, which can explain why all these species decrease.
Last but not least, the speaker also questions the point in the passage about the uneven pattern of otter decline. The passage bolster its point of view by stating that ocean currents or other factors lead to the uneven pattern under the pollution theory. On the other hand, the professor asserts thar the reason for this pattern is that sea otters can't enter some shallow regions of the seas. Thus, the population of sea otters in some deep areas declined obviously while that in some other shallow areas remained almost the same.

remint

When the students face problems in their study, some of them may turn to their classmates for help, whereas others will go to the tutors to get a more professional guide. As far as I am concerned, I prefer the latter way to get assistance from tutors in study.


Admittedly, asking questions to their classmates might have certain merits. A student with a problem in study will feel more comfortable and easier when asking a classmate than when asking a strict and elder professor or tutor. Under a relatively relaxed atmosphere, he or she is more likely to ask for more details about the problem and gain more knowledge.(感觉这一段句式有些单一，都是the more的句型）

Though the support from the peers is helpful, asking the tutors for help will benefit the students in more aspects. To begin with, the first reason is that the tutors are more professional and erudite than the students' classmates and they can present more lucid illustration which might be much easier for the student to understand. For example, when a student asks a term which is not explained in the textbook, a professional teacher can explain it in details and give a full picture to the student since he or she might study this term before. On the other hand, if this student comes to me for help, I have no way to solve this problem because I, as a common student（我拿到版本的寂静是说 suppose you‘re good at a certain subject）, have no experiences dealing with this term before.

What is more, a tutor can share his academic experiences with the students during the process of asking and answering questions. First, the tutor may have some excellent methods to study and research in a field. When the student asks a question to the tutor, the tutor can introduce these good study approaches to the student. Moreover, an experienced tutor can point out the shortcomings of the student. I am afraid that the classmates lack such an ability to enlighten a（the） student who has problems.

Last but not least, to ask questions to teachers can give valuable feedbacks and help them develop more effective methods to teach. For instance, when being asked about the contents just mentioned in the last mathematical class, the teacher can recognize that he or she has not done a good job in that class, which leads to the confusion of the students. As a result, the teacher can ameliorate his or her teaching approaches and gives a more effective explanation to the students next time, which is a really conductive way to improve the quality of teaching and learning.（多加一点别的句式吧~好多陈述句、which定语从句，而且还都是非限定性的。按gmat里的说法which引导的非限定性从句 一般表达不是很好~）

In retrospective, to gain（动名词好点 我觉得） help from the tutors has lots of advantages over to ask questions to a classmate. Thus, I recommend that student go to the tutors or teachers for assistance.

觉得语言太平实了。。。逻辑还不错~

jasonliu119

When the students face problems in their study, some of them may turn to their classmates for help, whereas others will go to the tutors to get a more professional guide. As far as I am concerned, I prefer the latter way to get assistance from tutors in study.


Admittedly, asking questions to their classmates might have certain merits. A student with a problem in study will feel more comfortable and easier when asking a classmate than when asking a strict and elder professor or tutor. Under a relatively relaxed atmosphere, he or she is more likely to ask for more details about the problem and gain more knowledge.


Though the support from the peers is helpful, asking the tutors for help will benefit the students in more aspects. To begin with, the first reason is that the tutors are more professional and erudite than the students' classmates and they can present more lucid illustration which might be much easier for the student to understand. For example, when a student asks a term which is not explained in the textbook, a professional teacher can explain it in details and give a full picture to the student since he or she might study this term before. On the other hand, if this student comes to me for help, I have no way to solve this problem because I, as a common student, have no experiences dealing with this term before.


What is more, a tutor can share his academic experiences with the students during the process of asking and answering questions. First, the tutor may have some excellent methods to study and research in a field. When the student asks a question to the tutor, the tutor can introduce these good study approaches to the student. Moreover, an experienced tutor can point out the shortcomings of the student. I am afraid that the classmates lack such an ability to enlighten a student who has problems.


Last but not least, to ask questions to teachers can give valuable feedbacks and help them develop more effective methods to teach. For instance, when being asked about the contents just mentioned in the last mathematical class, the teacher can recognize that he or she has not done a good job in that class, which leads to the confusion of the students. As a result, the teacher can ameliorate his or her teaching approaches and gives a more effective explanation to the students next time, which is a really conductive way to improve the quality of teaching and learning.


In retrospective, to gain help from the tutors has lots of advantages over to ask questions to a classmate. Thus, I recommend that student go to the tutors or teachers for assistance.