写作是弱项怎么破，求狠批

fj99564 · 发表于 2013-9-11 22:16:05

先发911的独立吧，综合还没有写完，等等发。。。写作不好呀，要哭了，求狠批！

The current circumstance is full of competition that makes lots of students under pressure. As a result, even after school parents prefer to send their children to extra classes related to the school curriculum or at least spend more accompany with them for homework. However,my opinion is strongly against the trend, as I don’t think it is sensible for parents to force their children to do some curriculum related activities after they finish the homework. It is far better for parents to spend time with children doing sports and playing games.

To begin with, while participating into games and sports, people tend to be much happier and the relationship between family members can become incredibly tighter. Because the variety of activities not only can improve life satisfaction as it may remind people how wonderful life is, but also enable people to trust each other and back others up since some group work may require teamwork.

Secondly, times that spend with family for entertainment actually contributed a lot to the best things people can have in their whole life. Those good times are valuable memories that you may cherish for the rest of the life. For instance, one of my best memories was once my parents and I went fishing when I was in middle school. I barely know how to fishing so my father taught me by displaying the procedures to me. Once I found it was so attractive, I almost immediately mastered the method. Believe it or not, I was the ‘top fisher’ who got the most, others were astonished that a little girl could learn things faster than they previous thought.

Thirdly, self-study is an essential skill for further study and also daily life, the ability can be cultivated by parents who do not supervise on their children for homework or curriculum related activities. By this I mean if parents choose to help their children with studies, they may grow dependence on their parents for help, or even for supervision. It is harmful to their self-study skills, as they may not grow up to be a self-learner, their career path will definitely be influenced by their bad habits. This is because nowadays employers prefer to hire some fast and self learners in order to lower their cost for trainings.

To conclude, parents play pivotal roles for the personal development of their children, so spending more time with them for some relationship building and trust construction games and sports will be considered more suitable than doing curriculum related activities.

solde · 发表于 2013-9-12 22:50:54

改好啦~

fj99564 · 发表于 2013-9-16 20:32:22

915号的独立，题目是It's more important for the government to build art museums and music performancecenter than to build recreational devices (such as swimming pool, playgrounds)

下面是正文：

The development of technology enables people to have more leisure time,so it is not surprised that people have various ways to spend on. For instance,some may prefer to go to a concert, others may tend to do some sports instead. Thuswhen it comes to the priority of building art museums or recreational devices,it is impossible for the public to have only one option. To my point of view, Ithink recreational devices should definitely be considered before theconstruction of art museums or music performance center.

The first reasonis that comparing to spiritual satisfaction, fitness or health is much moreimportant, which is fundamental prerequisite for an enjoyable life. For example,one of my cousins is working as a consultant, who has lots of pressure but notime to care his fitness, it turns out that he was stressed out and was sentinto the hospital because of the endless work. By this I mean, only when health is guaranteed, people can start to think about their spiritual entertainment.

For most of thepeople, recreational devices are much more relevant to them, as they arefamiliar with the activities that can be hold inside those buildings. Furthermore,art and music, especially classic music, are not understandable for people whoreceived only basic or lower education. Consequently, in terms of popularity and accessibility, recreational devices are far better than others.

It is undeniable that swimming pool, playgrounds and those kinds of facilities make possible the daily life of the public to access, so they can shape their bodies in order to remain healthy. However, it does not mean the art and music related facilities are unessential, since music and art fans will feel that they lose track of their life if they cannot spend time enjoying their favorites. But if the governmentis limited in its budget, I personally strong recommend building recreational devices first.

To conclude, in the consideration of health of and popularity on the public, recreational devicesare worth invest. That is to say, only if the government has abundant budget of theyear, the art museums and music performance center are take into consideration for a better off society.

北极的企鹅123 · 发表于 2013-9-16 23:04:52

改好啦，亲貌似有跟我一样的问题。。。。。一起加油吧~~

fj99564 · 发表于 2013-9-17 21:43:11

916的作业，这回两篇都写了，求狠批

fj99564 · 发表于 2013-9-19 00:53:54

918作业昨天居然没有做作业，鄙视自己一下！

pengxudong · 发表于 2013-9-19 22:30:44

fj99564 发表于 2013-9-19 00:53
918作业昨天居然没有做作业，鄙视自己一下！

同学改完了

写作是弱项怎么破，求狠批

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