大神们快帮我改改，说出重点错误和需要改正的地方就行！！！

cuishiliu · 发表于 2013-9-3 20:29:23

tpo1 Some parents argue that universities and colleges should not pay much attention to students' physical performance,since they reckon it has little relationships with success in the future.so the financial budget should prioritize classes and libraries.However,as an educational institution,academic performance is not the only deciding factor to be used in assessing the quality of a university.It is not surprised that some students who obtain excellent scores in their study might perform poorly on their working position.A successful person should develop himself academically as well as socially.(From the standpoint of success,high EQ is no less important than IQ)
Under the drastically competitive environment,increasing students find they are going to face a more fierce society,whereas excellent grades in their major doesn't embody they can get a decent job down the road.Nowadays,in addition to being good at studies,students are also required to be outstanding in other fields. Academic backgroud is not a single factor to succeed , whereas ,the ignored factor lies in their Emotional Quotient.How to manage relationships with the people around you? How to cooperate with your co-workers in a company? It is essential to learn and experience team spirit,which we can obtain from social activities and playing sports.By playing football on a team,for instance,students can make different types of friend and develop a sense of collaboration,which may be proved as an indispensable factor in building a career.
Aside from fostering social skill and team spirit,doing sports is a good way to reduce pressure, enhance our physical condition,as well as improving efficiency of our study.You may hard to believe that doing some sports will reduce your anxiety and fatigue( weariness)after focusing highly on studies.Most people have a tendency to sit back and have a rest.Actually,the quickest and most plausible way to replenish your body is doing exercise. After profuse sweating,you will find youselve reborned. Accordingly,it is reasonable to attach importance to sports and social activities at the cost of some financial budget.

It goes without saying that academic standards is the heart of a university,and it can by no means be replaced by sports and social activities. What I suggest is Universities and colleges shoud surport the development of these activities as possible as they can.

From what I mentioned above,I would maintain that u and c should spend enough money on academic education as well as social movements to provide students with a best atmosphere to develop themselves.

tpo4

As we all know,vehicle is one of the most significant inventions during the development of human civilization.It takes us fewer time on the road on the grounds of cars,which lead us to a new era,where commercialization and communication are prevalent.However (there is a growing body of doubt that the utilization of cars are going to decline because of the replacement of other transportation tools and our awareness of invironmental protection.)However,things are not as simple as we think.Let me breakdown this opinion by proving some strongest explanation.

Initially,under the circumistance of rapid technological development,high-end products become cheaper as well as more reliable.)Good sales of products based on the combination of high quality and low price.)(These two kinds of requirement can be met easily nowdays.)In order to make the biggest profits at the lowest cost,many manufactuers attach the importance to the procduction of cars.Because of the promotion of sharing technologies around the world,each manufacture can master the core technologies,which make increasing cars more reliable than before.Furthermore,price is no less important than quality.Mass production cut down the cost and finally it has indispensable influence on setting price of the cars.As a result,cars are more accessible to common people.

Secondly,the possibility of owning a car is based on the economic condition of potential customers.Undeniably,more and more people can afford a car on accout of development of people's living condition.Many people realize that the Email and telephone are not suitable enough,because face-to-face communication is more effective,in which they can learn the potential message from one's gestures and expressions.So they have great tendency to start socializing with each other by visiting and engaging in activities.To some degree,train and airplane can not replece the car.Driving private car is more relax,you can set out whenever you want without booking ticket in advance.Indeed, that's why cars are so popular.

Finally,some people admit the importance of invironmental conservation.In fact,the exhaust emission of cars play an important role in environmental degradation(deterioration) .Paradoxically,this awareness become vague and light when they take the living convenience into account.
In these decades, the use of cars will be continuoued as long as the new transportantion tools which as convenient as cars are not be popularized.

From what I mentioned above,undeniably,I hold the idea that the volume of cars(traffic volume) can not be decrease in two decades.

[报考] 大神们快帮我改改，说出重点错误和需要改正的地方就行！！！

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

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