[求助]【逵逵写作文6.0】

Topic：Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

As the radical development of human society, human activities affect the environment more than ever before. Considering the negative influence, people pay more attention to whether the Earth is being damaged by human activity. To agree or disagree with it is a matter of balancing between its pros and cons. Personally，I agree that the Earth is being harmed by human activities as the perspectives below.

First, while the quality of human life has been improved greatly over the past centuries, human beings use more and more natural resources. Take a look around. In order to support energy to the industrial development, many regions were exploited wholly, leaving bare and useless ground. For the sake of making room for houses and getting materials of production, such as furniture, deforestation removes old trees, especially equatorial rain forest. To some extent, wood, coal and petroleum alike are kinds of natural resources that cannot be replaced fast enough to follow the need of human. People today exhaust not only their own resources but that of their offspring as well. The Earth, the only place in which human beings can reside, gives people everything they need, but natural resources are not endless. If people do not make a proper exploitation plan and economize on resource. People will be caught in an irreversible resource crisis.

Second, according to the population explosion, there is a large amount of pollution that enters into the Earth environment. Vehicles make air pollution by exhaling the waste gas. Factories make aquatic pollution by dumping waste water in water. To make enough sustenance for growing population, farmer use pesticide to enhance the production so that pollute the land unconsciously. If people do not put necessary effort to protect the environment, they will no safe place to live.

In addition, the unsteady social factors can also damage the Earth, as example, the war. More powerful weapons are being created and used. The Earth can be destroyed in several minutes to take the using of unclear weapon as an extreme. However, I believe people will not lose their sense to do so. And people can use the advanced techniques to improve the Earth environment as possible as they can.

Lastly, based on the above discussion, I agree with that the human activities are being harmed the Earth, because of the uncontrolled use of natural resources and increasing population growth. People should be evoked to make a contribution to protect the Earth from damage so that make their life better.

版本越来越高，水平也是越来越高。不过偶一向只喜欢看开头结尾。。

Lastly（感觉lastly好像是最后一个理由似的，如：last but not least，所以还是建议用TO SUM UP 之类的东东）, based on the above discussion, I agree with that the human activities are being harmed the Earth（不要随便加逗号） because of the uncontrolled use of natural resources and increasing population growth. People should （be evoked to  觉得挺别扭，不会改，所以删了）make a contribution to protect the Earth from damage so that（so as to）make their life better.

变化怎么就这么大泥。。。（进步很大）

用心改作文是很头痛的事情，先就这么多吧。此文章从整体上看比上一篇好多了，上一篇是明显的大失水准吗！！

由于时间上没有要求，身边有现成的模板和参考，以及字典的帮助，所以所做均不体现实力，只是初级英文写作者的尝试罢了～

进步自然难当，只是有点领悟愿与大家探讨～

1.托福的作文就是英文的“八股”，有套路，所以模板用得上

2.词汇和固定短语要识记，主要是3类:
～环境的，经济的，社会进步等题目经常涉及的名词或者名词短语；
～表示程度等的形容词和能够恰当修饰动词的副词；
～起承转合作用的连接词和短语

3.在正确，易懂的基础上，力求句型的变化多端，插入语，从句，倒装，虚拟等

4.看清题目要求写什么，有比较的，要写出两者的不同，不要只说你支持的

5.不同的reason不要糅合到一块去，每段中心要明确，且reason段落，要用英文写作的方式，开门见山的在段落开头指出；既然要成段，那么你所选择的reason一定要能扩展，也就是有东西好写，不要为赋新辞强说愁；所以虽然一个论点你可能有N个理由，但那些很有道理，但是你用英文无法表达清楚的，就不用写了，这不是上万字的论文

6.reason一出就要有example，两三个case足以,并且事例逻辑上能够支持原因

7.整篇文章不要出现第二人称you，your，这是enjoylife等前辈的指点（指点了pumpkin，然后她又“数落”我的），多用people；你想，you就是阅卷人，你凭什么张口就用人家的书面语言教导人家呢？

8.个人的观点:尽可能的避免单独使用he/she，考虑到性别歧视问题。但是，如果你要顶字数的话，也请用 he or she

9.口语化是初级者的大问题之一，写作文的时候往往是先想中文改怎么说，然后做个翻译工作；本来对非母语就很能驾驭，这样一来，说大白话，就直接导致句式的单一；所以还是要看看真题阅读文章的文法

具体考试的时候作文应该怎么写，时间怎么分配，我没有发言权～

文章的套路，我推荐“五段锦”～

第一段，对题目改写，再用模板的套话扯一下，常用的手法是正反一提

第二段，最大的reason，事例论据支持

第三段，次大的reason，事例论据支持

第四段，一个小的reason，外加一个不碍大事的however的对立

第五段，对各段reason改写总结，也可以再加展望，但是不要号召

要感谢诸位朋友，不厌其烦的帮我批改～pengstone，在吃饭的时候看我的作文，对于原本就瘦削，吃不下多少饭的他，这是何等的勇气呀！～pumpkin，受委屈的超级大姐头～bryony日理万机，百忙之中～enjoylife永远罩着我，我出去混都是报他的名号的～marshial论坛杀贴状元，比版主还版主～

泰山石敢顶！我顶！

～呵呵，顶上去了～

8.个人的观点:尽可能的避免单独使用he/she，考虑到性别歧视问题。但是，如果你要顶字数的话，也请用 he or she

这个并不是很重要.  而且he or she 很多时候读起来很不爽.   呵呵, 我反正是全部用he.

不错进步很大. 继续努力.

时间问题, 我的观点是: 最少要留5分钟检查. 我打算留8-10分钟, 对电脑打字改错不敏感. 没办法.

kuikui的进步很大 总结得也很好 看来是用了心思

努力努力 有希望拿高分的

修改意见稍晚发

大家提的意见已经很具体很到位了 我就不再多嘴了

顺便贴一篇我以前写的 题目一样 但论点和KUIKUI相反 供大家参考

I am always amazed when I hear people saying that the Earth is being harmed by human activity, as if we should deny completely the huge developments in various fields achieved by human race and go back to the primitive age several thousand years ago. Admittedly, the environments on our planet have been somewhat damaged by human activity and a few regional wars are still taking place now and then around us. In my opinion, however, it is undisputable that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live, for the following reasons.

First of all, it is may not an overstatement that the Earth never provided more abundant food than it does now. Thanks to human’s hard work and wisdom, agriculture is becoming more and more advanced. Except for some regions, such as western Africa and North Korea, which are impoverished settlements cut off from civilization, people living in most other regions now have enough food, even accustomed to enjoying seven-cause dinners. This is contrasted vividly with our ancestors who could hardly find enough food to sustain their bare livelihood, not to mention storing surplus food for other kinds of purposes, such as vintage and refining sugar.

Secondly, human beings have invented car, ship, train and plane, making our transportation more convenient and comfortable. It is very hard for us realize nowadays how difficult it was for the people in old days to, for example, spend half a year traveling from London to New York. In our modern times, for comparison, it costs us only a few hours to cover the same trip by plane. Undoubtedly, with the help of the far-reaching and speedy global transportation system, the Earth is actually becoming what the word ‘Earth village’ means----that is, the special distance between people is being largely shortened, thus making the relationship between them more close.

Thirdly, unlike their ancestors, modern men have gradually learned how to prevent and cope with various kinds of natural disasters. For example, people nowadays are able to get information of the climate in advance and get well prepared. In addition, people can anticipate the coming of earthquakes and the eruption of volcanoes, though not absolutely precisely, and try to minimize losses by many means.

From what we have discussed above, although people have imposed some negative effects on our living in the Earth, we should not deny the fact that human activity is making our planet a better place to live.