水实在不平，无奈为应付考试而赶鸭子上轿，大家给点意见吧！！

请改下面的修改贴！！

看了一遍。 觉得结构要改。

1. 第一段最好提出自己的观点。 开门见山的比较好。 always remember they only have two-minutes to read your article. so make it straight and plain.

2. 看到最后一段才明白，原来你是认为家庭更重要的。 不要这样。 最重要的原因放在前面。 把第一段原因当成admittedly 来写比较好。

3. 另外注意一下语法什么的。

谢谢byrony,够朋友！！

等我改改再贴出来，花费兄弟宝贵的时间，真不好意思，多谢了！！

Pengstone,也是真朋友！！！！

Nowadays ,people always talk about whether the friends or the family has the most influence on young adults. Some people think  the friends of young adults have much more influence than the family on young adults. But ,in contrast, others maintain that it is the family of young adults that imposes the most important influence on the young ones. As far as I am concerned, I deem that the family has the first and foremost effect on the young people.

Admittedly, friends are an integral part of an adolescent . The adolescents, they always study together, they sometimes play sports hand in hand and also share entertainments with each other. So the ways their friends study, the tactics their friends adopt during sports and the values their friends accept all inevitably affect the young adults themselves. My sister, a high school student, often adjusts herself according to her friends attitudes toward what to wear, how to play and where to release. She is already a copy of her friends. But ,to a young person being the process of mature, this influence is just only the trivial aspect .

Just as their friends have an effect on the young adults, so do their families. To a young adult, the family’s favorites and values mostly exert an influence on him or her. Firstly , the young adult is absolutely a creature of the family holing certain favorites, and these favorites surely affect the young person when he or she is building his or her own favorites. Secondly, the family is a constant counselor to the young adults. When confronting difficulty and losing their way, a young adult always turns to the family for help as well as advice. My experience can serve an eloquent instance. when I asked my parents for advice on which university to enter , they , full of enthusiasm, helped me collect relative materials and patronizing me a campus visit, seeming as if it was not I but they that attained the university . Even as when I graduated, it is the family that helped me figure out where I should go and how to land my professional idea.  Besides , the family surroundings usually plays a vital role to shape the young adult’s characteristics at all direction.   

Apparently ,with the above-mentioned reasons and examples, it is obvious that although the friends , in some extent, influence the young adults, the family has the most important influence on reinforcing young people’s maturing.

Byrony and Pengstone，my good friends

一时半下，我还真的改不过来，这种将让步放在前面，而将重点放在后面的做法可行吗？

当然，先重点而后让步是常规思路。

再次感谢指导！！

好 明天再看