我的大作文练笔。请各位大虾提意见^^

sweetangel

好久都没写了，11.22日在北美考试~  这篇还是9月份的时候随便写的一篇，plz give me some suggestions or leave some comments,THANK YOU!!

Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? 大学往往让学生通过teamwork完成project,然后team member打上同样的分数。

 

 

 

 

I strongly agree with the statement as to team members should be marked the same on the project that they worked on together in university.  Although different students have different capabilities, and probably only one person in each group contributed to their final achievement, it is not worth mentioning compared to the importance of developing the teamwork study habit.

 

To begin with, by letting team members share the same mark for a project, it can form a quality habit of teamwork through university study.  Nowadays, quite a few students are not thoughtful when considering on certain problems, they are too self-centered and bulk of them insists that studying independently is more significant and efficient than teamwork.  Nonetheless, according to a recent research, a great amount of students said they had benefited a lot from working together with peers and can carry on deep discussions on topics.  Not only that, but it is a way of gaining experiences on how to relate and apply knowledge based on textbooks to real life.  Therefore, in this way, students will strengthen their teamwork skills to obtain attainment with all their hearts so that they will no longer complain about sharing the same mark.

 

In addition, working as a team is also a great opportunity to combine the intelligence all together from each team member.  Admittedly, different students have different dominant areas in academics.  Sometimes they even struggle and suffer from the fields where they lack skills or critical thinking.  Naturally, this problem can be solved if teamwork is implemented well.  Via working in a team, each member will be able to share their wisdom and different perspectives on a variety of issues.  They can assist each other when confronted by hardship.  Hence, it is pretty fair for each member to share the same mark because every one of them indeed dedicated for the project.

 

What I have said above boils down to a conclusion that there is nothing wrong with all members sharing the same mark in the team.  Meanwhile, it is an extraordinary experience for every student in his or her school years.  And these experiences will surely provide the students with considerable positive impact on their lives in the near future.

sweetangel

为什么没人给我提建议呢？各位xdjm拜托了。。真的真的想知道不足之处

般若琉璃

１．文章结构好像还可以。LZ考过GMAT了么？语法原则还是要遵循的啊。。。比如：

To begin with, by letting team members share the same mark for a project, it can form a quality habit of teamwork through university study.

“it”=?    better be: To begin with, sharing the same mark for a project, team members form a quality habit of.(后面你要说什么，没看明白－＿－＇)

2、最后一段有点不够简洁。不如直接to sum up。那个nothing wrong看起来比较小童哈~

3、道理不好说就举例子嘛~例子自己会说明：）

我G的作文也只有5.5，可能功底也不够，希望对lz有点小帮助~

sweetangel

谢谢楼上的筒子，看到留言很感动！应该要叫姐姐吧？

我没考过GMAT,还只是个高中生。连GMAT的format都不知道。。。汗颜啊。。。

btw,楼上姐姐是哪里人？