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标题: 作业贴~ [打印本页]

作者: 橘子哈哈 时间: 2015-3-26 05:18
标题: 作业贴~
先开个作业贴~互改小伙伴酷爱出现～

作者: 橘子哈哈 时间: 2015-3-27 21:19
3.27 独立
独立： Agree or disagree: 要为一个学校的organization or club 选一个leader，有一些人认为最重要的是honesty.

I can’t agree more that when we choose a leader for a school’s organization or club. I have the following two reasons to support my opinion.
First, an honest leader can build trust among members quicker and more easily so it is easier for a honest leader to handle conflicts. For example, I met a leader in my harmonica club. This leader had a reputation of honesty and trust worthy. So whenever conflict occurred and he gave some advice as a leader, I believed that his opinion was objective and reliable even though it seemed like not beneficial for me. His honesty made we trust him so that conflicts were easier to handle.
Second, an honest leader will make cooperation with other organization go smoothly. Again, take my harmonica club leader as an example. Once we cooperated with Guitar club to host a party in my university. When we calculated the cost of that party, we found there was an expenditure came from nowhere. The air was filled with tense at that moment because people from both clubs were wondering which club expended this money, whether the person just forgot to report this expenditure or on purposely “hide” this money. My leader began to talk: “Look, I don’t know where this expenditure is from. However, I will definitely figure it out if this expenditure is from my club. I believe someone forget to report this cost.” His sincere voice calmed everyone down. The leader from the Guitar club trusted my leader and knew he would not lie. So we just go through the whole sheet again. Later, we found that we forgot to consider the extra Mic-phone we rented. I believe that without my leader’s good reputation, this accident will hurt the relationship between guitar club and us.
In conclusion, I agree that the honesty of the leader has the highest priority because this can not only build trust within an organization or a club, but also make the cooperation with other organization go smoothly.

作者: sue123 时间: 2015-3-29 19:50

橘子哈哈发表于 2015-3-27 21:19
3.27 独立
独立： Agree or disagree: 要为一个学校的organization or club 选一个leader，有一些人认为最 ...

I can’tagree more that when we choose a leader for a school’s organization or club忘了点出honesty这个点.I have the following two reasons to support my opinion.

First, an honest leader can build trust among members quicker and more easilyso it is easier for an honest leader tohandle conflicts. For example, I met a leader in my harmonica club. This leaderhad a reputation 我查了字典，后面应该跟for honesty and trust worthytrustworthiness.So whenever conflict occurred and he gave some advice as a leader, I believedthat his opinion was objective and reliable even though it seemed like notbeneficial for me. His honesty made we trust him so that conflicts were easierto handle.

Second, an honest leader will make cooperation with other organization gosmoothly. Again, take my harmonica club leader as an example. Once wecooperated with Guitar club to host a party in my university. When wecalculated the cost of that party, we found there was a expenditure came from nowhere. The air wasfilled with tense at that moment because people from both clubs were wonderingwhich club expended this money, whether the person just forgot to report thisexpenditure or on purposely “hide” this money. My leader began to talk: “Look,I don’t know where this expenditure is from. However, I will definitely figureit out if this expenditure is from my club. I believe someone forget to reportthis cost.” His sincere voice calmed everyone down. The leader from the Guitarclub trusted my leader and knew he would not lie. So we just go through thewhole sheet again. Later, we found that we forgot to consider the extraMic-phone we rented. I believe that without my leader’s good reputation, thisaccident will hurt the relationship between guitar club and us.这里的总结句没有与主题句对应

In conclusion, I agree that the honesty of the leader has the highest prioritybecause this can not only build trust within an organization or a club, butalso make the cooperation with other organization go smoothly.

文章读起来很顺畅，例子也很生动。
借问一下：楼主，你之前考的时候也是这样论证部分少，例子占的篇幅比较大这样写吗？我只是好奇ETS的口味是喜欢例子还是论证

作者: 橘子哈哈 时间: 2015-3-29 23:09
3.30独立
独立： Agree or disagree: It is impossible to be completely honest with your friends.

In my opinion, it is possible to be completely honest with your friends.
Some people may argue that when facing a negative information, you have to lie to your friends because negative information may hurt the relationship with friends. However, I think the only thing needs to be considered is that how to express some negative information in a positive way. For example, once my best friend got a C on a mid-term exam. An important reason that she almost failed on this exam was that she spent too much time on video games. I didn't want to lie to her and contribute this situation to luck or something. So I was thinking about how I could tell her that she should work harder without hurting our relationship? After a while, I decided to say: “Look, I know you are smart, you have a great ability to learn and you learn fast. I remember that at the first several classes you had a great comprehension of this course. However, this course asks for not only understanding but also memorizing. So you may need repeatedly practice to remember these knowledge. Last several weeks you spent too less time on study.” My friend was not very happy at the beginning but after a while she calmed down and agreed with me.
I find an important reason which makes some people lie to their friends is that they want to protect their friends. But as far as I concern, if the truth may hurt my friends, I would rather to be the one who tell them and let them know earlier. I believe in this way the harm will be minimized. In one hand, I can use an indirect way to express, in another hand, the earlier they know, the better they can handle the bad situation.
In conclusion, I argue that it is possible to be completely honest with your friend.

作者: jimbossqq 时间: 2015-3-30 15:57
应该是make us trust him我们作宾语吧有一首歌叫u make me wanna对吧

作者: 橘子哈哈 时间: 2015-3-30 21:42
3.27
综合：TPO3(前面忘记贴上来了

The reading said the painting was not painted by Rembrandt and gave 3 reasons to support. And the lecture said this painting was painted by Rembrandt and explained the 3 reasons which were mentioned in the reading.
The reading argued that there was an inconsistence in the way the women in painting dressed. She was wearing a white linen cap which only servant would wear and a coat with luxurious fur collar which no servant could afford. The lecture explained that by using X-ray researchers discovered that this fur collar was added on about 100 hundred years later by someone else who might want to add value to the painting.
The reading then argued that the woman’s face should be part-shadowed rather than light as the dark fur collar would not reflect the light to the woman’s face. Rembrandt was a master of light-shadow so he wouldn’t make such a mistake. The lecture explained that after removing the fur collar, the original painting was make sense because the woman was wearing a light color cloth which could reflect light to the woman’s face.
The reading finally argued that the painting was painted on a panel made of several pieces of wood glued together which was not the kind of panel Rembrandt typically would use. And the lecture explained this panel was added by someone else, too. The original one was made of a single piece of wood, and it was the same wood used in Rembrandt’s another painting.

作者: sue123 时间: 2015-3-30 23:37

橘子哈哈发表于 2015-3-30 21:42
3.27
综合：TPO3(前面忘记贴上来了
The reading said the painting was not painted by Rembrandt and ga ...

The reading said the painting was not painted by Rembrandt and gave 3 reasons to support. And the lecture said this painting was painted by Rembrandt and explained the 3 reasons which were mentioned in the reading.解释阅读中提到的三个原因，觉得会有歧义，lecture是反驳reading的原因，查了字典，explain的意思：**tell sth in away that is clear or easy to understand ** to give a reason for sth or tobe a reason for something

The reading argued that there was an inconsistence in the way the women in painting dressed. She was wearing a white linen cap which only servant would wear and a coat with luxurious fur collar which no servant could afford. The lecture explained that by using X-ray researchers discovered that this fur collar was added on about 100 hundred years later by someone else who might want to add value to the painting.

The reading then argued that the woman’s face should be part-shadowed rather than light as the dark fur collar would not reflect the light to the woman’s face. Rembrandt was a master of light-shadow so he wouldn’t make such a mistake. The lecture explained that after removing the fur collar, the original painting was make sense because the woman was wearing a light color cloth which could reflect light to the woman’s face.

The reading finally argued that the painting was painted on a panel made of several pieces of wood glued together which was not the kind of panel Rembrandt typically would use. And the lecture explained this panel was added by someone else, too. The original one was made of a single piece of wood, and it was the same wood used in Rembrandt’s another painting.
这里第三个点，听力里面是说这幅画的panel from the same tree as the wood panel used in another painting.

作者: 橘子哈哈 时间: 2015-3-30 23:40

sue123 发表于 2015-3-29 19:50
I can’tagree more that when we choose a leader for a school’s organization or club忘了点出honesty ...

我以前其实没有特别大的偏好，你看这是我13年考托福的时候，ETS给的独立的评论（Fair）：
You expressed ideas with reasons, examples, and details, but your response indicated weaknesses such as

you may not provide enough specific support and development for your main points;
your ideas may be difficult to follow because of how you organize your essay or because of the language you use to connect your ideas; and/or
grammatical mistakes or vague/incorrect uses of words may make the writing difficult to understand.

所以觉得还是要写点例子进去。这里还是要求高人解答啊。。。

作者: 橘子哈哈 时间: 2015-3-30 23:42

sue123 发表于 2015-3-30 23:37
The reading said the painting was not painted by Rembrandt and gave 3 reasons to support. And the ...

恩你说得对，explain确实有歧义，以后换成更强的词：）

作者: sue123 时间: 2015-3-31 21:42

橘子哈哈发表于 2015-3-29 23:09
3.30独立
独立： Agree or disagree: It is impossible to be completely honest with your friends.

In my opinion, it is possible to be completely honest with your friends.
Some people may argue that when facing a negative informationinformation不可数, you英文文章尽量避免使用第二人称，特别这里是与前面的some people搭配起来使用，使用第三人称比较好 have to lie to your friends because negative information may hurt the relationships当指人的关系的时候可数（朗文词典） with friends. However, I think the only thing needs to be considered is that how to express some negative information in a positive way. For example, once my best friend got a C on a mid-term exam. An important reason that she almost failed on this exam was that she spent too much time on video games. I didn't want to lie to her and contribute this situation to luck or something感觉使用other things会比较好. So I was thinking about how I could tell her that she should work harder without hurting our relationship? After a while, I decided to say: “Look, I know you are smart, you have a great ability to learn and you learn fast. I remember that at the first several classes you had a great comprehension of this course. However, this course asks for not only understanding but also memorizing. So you may need repeatedly practice to remember these knowledge. Last several weeks you spent too less time on study.” My friend was not very happy at the beginning but after a while she calmed down and agreed with me.
I find an important reason which makes some people lie to their friends is that they want to protect their friends. But as far as I am concerned, if the truth may hurt my friends, I would rather to be the one who tell them and let them know earlier. I believe in this way the harm will be minimized. In one hand这个用法错了，是on the one hand...on the other hand, I can use an indirect way to express, in another hand, the earlier they know, the better they can handle the bad situation.
In conclusion, I argue that it is possible to be completely honest with your friends.

楼主，觉得文章的第一段展开论述一下会比较好，把后面两个分论点与第一段的中思想结合一下，文章看起来会更有机结合（好吧，大概这个意思）。比如说加上：人们有些时候会觉在某些情况下，诚实会怎样怎样，但是反对.....

以上只是我个人的拙见……

还有，这几天我有事，没有时间写，所以要暂时请假几天，不好意思！但是楼主只要你不嫌弃我，我可以帮你改

作者: 橘子哈哈 时间: 2015-3-31 22:27
谢谢Sue~
原来我把as far as I am concerned 和on the one hand 用错这么多年T0T哭晕在厕所。。。
我会好好考虑一下如何把文章integrate。。（这词咋翻译）
没关系，你忙就不用帮我改了，要不还要重新看题，考虑，很费时间的。等你回归了我们再互改好啦~

作者: sue123 时间: 2015-4-1 22:46

橘子哈哈发表于 2015-3-31 22:27
谢谢Sue~
原来我把as far as I am concerned 和on the one hand 用错这么多年T0T哭晕在厕所。。。
我会好好 ...

是我还是会写，但是可能不能连着写而已，会偶尔写。所以只要你不嫌弃我，你写我都可以帮忙改，然后我写也希望你可以帮忙

，一起进步嘛~

作者: finger_v5 时间: 2015-4-4 16:59
我也可以加入进来吗？
只要贴出自己的作文就行吗？

作者: 橘子哈哈 时间: 2015-4-6 23:31

sue123 发表于 2015-4-1 22:46
是我还是会写，但是可能不能连着写而已，会偶尔写。所以只要你不嫌弃我，你写我都可以帮忙改，然后我写也 ...

对不起对不起，这两天太忙了，CD都没上。。。可以呀，我今天会写4.7的文章~要写吗？

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