ChaseDream
标题: angla 姐姐的作文楼 [打印本页]
作者: angla 时间: 2014-8-31 11:25
标题: angla 姐姐的作文楼
考完G后继续战斗
9.1
综合写作TPO11
The reading passage cites a recent study to illustrated that literature reading decline, and this trend will be more regrettable because literature can provide intellectual stimulation exclusively. However the lecture professor thought this statement is not convincing for following three reasons:
First, she doesn’t agree with that the literature is the only form of reading genres that can stimulate the intellect. She argues that the Science, history, political analysis are also as creative as literature, can exercise imagination and can provide intellectual stimulation too. We cannot said that they are not good books.not only the literature benefits the reading republic.
Furthermore,the passage states that people nowadays inclined to read the best sellers, which are superficial , with poor quality, and intellectually undemanding and that people inclined to divert their time to trivial forms of entertainment, such as television, music video and web page.the professor strongly disagree with this point. She argues that the culture has changed.there are many valuable materials other than poem and novel,such as music, movie.although they are not written, these arts are worthy of spending the time.
Finally, the passage argues that because of poor standard of readers, literature reading has a trend of decline.as a result, publishers invest less money in literature. The professor points out that the author of literature is at fault of less investment.because their work is so difficulty to understand that even earlier generation would not read them.
独立：you can know a lot about a person through the types of friends this person has
There is a proverb in china “if you want to know the final card of a person, please look his fiends”. That means the friends around a person will reflect most of characters of this person. Friends often have similar values of life, similar qualities and similar hobbies.
There is also a proverb in china “who stays near vermilion get bright red and who stays near ink gets stain black”. A group of people often have similar values of life. I definitely have experiences that only the friends with similar values of life can last to the end. I have many dream for my life and I want to make efforts to fulfilled the dreams. The friends who once studied or worked together with me but didn’t want to spend much time to chase dream but instead enjoy life, will go further and further away from me. we do different things in our leisure time, and gradually, we became to have no common languages. Obviously, It is different values of life caused this change. So you can know the type of a person through the life values of his/her friends.
Furthermore, the friends often have similar qualities. The person who together with industrious one will not lazy, who together with positive one will not be depressed, and who together with a outstanding one will not mediocre. One of famous 80’s entrepreneur in china Chen Ou once was MBA of Stanford. He wanted to create the first online shopping mall of cosmetics. He decided to persuade his best friend Yusen Dai to join him. Because they have similar qualities, they understand each other well and appreciate each other. They cooperate smoothly and finally get a big success. In 2014, their company landed on New York Stock Exchange.
Finally, friends often have similar hobbies. Think of your friends, how you know them at the first time? Generally, we know a new friend in a party, or a club, such dancing party, KTV, tennis match, library , journey etc. That because we have same hobbies, which give the chance to us to know each other. I have many friends in business school, because i like to attend the lecture about business management. I also have many friends who are adept in dance because I joined several dancing club. The same hobbies link us together.
Well, Birds of a feather flock together. We can know a lot about a person through the friends he/she has.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-8-31 11:26
综合：TPO12
The reading passage gives three pieces of evidence to support the suggestion that the painting owned by the Austen family coming up for sales recently is the portrait of teenager Jane Austen. However, the professor of lecture rejects these evidence and argues that the painting is a portrait of Austen’s relatives possibly,but hardly to prove that it is of Jane Austen.
First,the lecture argues that the portrait used as illustration of letters appeared 70years after Jane Austen’s death, suggesting that the descendants of Austen family didn’t see her in person and didn’t know whether the portrait was of Jane Austen. Therefore, the fact that the portrait had permitted by her family members does not necessarily proved that it is the portrait of Jane Austen.
Secondly, the lecture argues that the resemble between the sketch and the portrait doesn’t necessarily means that the painting is of the same person, Jane Austen. The female members of Austen family will resemble each other. It could be of her teenager cousin or other teenager child. The painting isn’t necessarily the portrait of Jane Austen.
Finally, the lecture argues that the evidence is questionable and insufficient,evidence that painting style suggesting the year, when the portrait was painted in Jane Austen’s teenager.another evidence should be considered that the canvases selling was started after she was 27years old. At that time, Jane Austen was older than the teenager in portrait. This fact indicates that the portrait is of someone else who younger than Jane.
9.2
独立：being creative， rather than carefully planning, is more often results in better solution.
In modern society, many people advocate that only creative can won the future. Creative can make a company not only grab the market chances, but also lead the trend of consumption. Admittedly, the creative is more or less the important factor for success. However, the carefully planning is also essential for a company to give a good solution.Creative and planing like a pairs of brothers, working together in our process of strategy implement.without any one of them, it is hardly to succeed perfectly.
Creative is the core competence of modern enterprise.many companies lean on creativeness to get epoch-making success.e.g. Before the Facebook start up, online Social network service is still in its germinating phrase. there is no mature company in this market. Zuckerberg create a new demand of people.using the Facebook, everyone can knows each other, makes friend with each other, and shares his/her interesting life to friends, no matter where you are in this world. Such a creative business model makes Zuck to be the youngest millionaires in Forbes. If someone start the business just following this Zuck’s model, he will not make a same success again.It is creativeness that help zuck’s team to be the first, and grab the best chance in the market.
On the other hand, carefully planning is a significant step to implement a strategy. When you have a creative idea, you’d better to investigate fully, make a carefully planning, and then take the action. reckless execution will lead to huge loss probably. Carefully planning help us to achieve the objects and reduce the risk as possible as we can. In my daily work, I usually make business plans for by job. First, I set the goals for my team, then we discuss the inside and outside factors that can influence team’s success. After fully analyzing current marketing data, future market trend, strength and weakness of our product, we conclude a business strategy. Following this strategy, we take the action. In this fully planning model, risk of choosing wrong direction was reduced.
To make our job excellent, the best way is to combine the creative with the planning. creative is seems like the fresh water in the pool, and the planning seem like the channel to guide the fresh water to irrigation. Both of them are responsible for our success, none is dispensable.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-8-31 11:27
9.3
独立：Do you agree or disagree? The best way for a teacher to let students become interested in a subject is to help them know how to use it in lives outside schools
综合：TPO13
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-2 15:51
咋还没有人给我改呢？55555555555
作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-2 19:02
稍等一下哦 家里网出问题了 还在调试TAT 弄好马上改哦
作者: 橙圆 时间: 2014-9-2 19:04
给姐姐改好~
作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-2 20:01
我来啦~改好啦 之前传错地方了。。该打
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-3 21:15
angla 发表于 2014-8-31 11:26 
综合：TPO12
The reading passage gives three pieces ofevidence to support the suggestion that the painting owned by the Austen familycoming up for sales recently is the portrait of teenager Jane Austen. However, the professor of lecture rejects theseevidence and argues that the painting is a portrait of Austen’s relativespossibly,but hardly to prove that it is of Jane Austen.(是Jane的一个亲戚 是听力的一个分论点 不要放在总论点里面说啦~)
First,the lecture argues that the portraitused as an illustration of letters appeared70years after Jane Austen’s death, suggesting that the descendants of Austenfamily didn’t see her in person and didn’t know whether the portrait was ofJane Austen. Therefore, the fact that the portrait had (been) permitted by her family members does not necessarily provedthat it is the portrait of Jane Austen.
Secondly, the lecture argues that the resemble(这个是形容词哦) between the sketch and the portraitdoesn’t necessarily means that the painting is of the same person---Jane Austen. The female members of Austen family will (时态)resemble each other. It could be of her teenager cousin or otherteenager child. The painting isn’t necessarily the portrait of Jane Austen.（最后一句略重复）可以再多加一点细节~
Finally, the lecture argues that theevidence is questionable and insufficient,evidence that painting stylesuggesting the year, when the portrait was painted in Jane Austen’s teenager.(感觉同位语从句用的比较别扭 )another evidence should be considered that the canvases selling（应该说一下stamp和画布的关系） was started after she was27years old. At that time, Jane Austen was older than the teenager in portrait.This fact indicates that the portrait is of someone else who younger than Jane.
【以下部分供修正参考~来自NN】
阅读部分需要提取的观点是：
Main point: 有一副画上面的人物是简·奥斯汀
Sub point 1: 这幅画得到了奥斯汀家族的认可
Sub point 2: 面容同简·奥斯汀的另一幅画很像
Sub point 3: 风格上看是奥扎厄斯·汉弗里的作品，此人活跃时期简·奥斯汀的年龄同画作相符
听力笔记内容：
Main point: 这幅画中人物不是简·奥斯汀
Sub point one: 虽有家族人的背书，但是这些人都没有见过简·奥斯汀本人
Sub point two: 同简·奥斯汀面容相似的原因可能是画中人物是简·奥斯汀的亲人
Sub point three: 画布背面的印章表明这幅画成画时，简·奥斯汀年龄大于画中人物问题
提示：
- endorse背书。本意是指在支票后面签字，引申为赞同,认可,支持(意见,活动,某人等)。
作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-3 21:48
之前没有看到更新在上面了……一直以为还没传呢 所以改晚了点哦
这篇真是超赞啊！！
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-4 13:14
loverony713 发表于 2014-9-3 21:15
The reading passage gives three pieces ofevidence to support the suggestion that the painting owned ...
姑娘
resemble是动词哦
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-4 13:37
daisy333 发表于 2014-9-3 21:48
之前没有看到更新在上面了……一直以为还没传呢 所以改晚了点哦
这篇真是超赞啊！！ ...
mm
e.g 的用法是比较美式的用法，会让阅卷人觉得对美式表达很熟络，是讨好阅卷人的一种用法。参见很多作文写作书籍里面的陈述
you’d better to investigate fully, make a carefully planning, and then take the action. （这一句的三个并列句感觉不是特别并列，改成investigate fully, planning carefully and then acting efficiently会不好好点？）
这句改了之后逻辑含义变了哈。原文的逻辑含义是 经过仔细的调查研究和 精心准备之后，再行动。
如果确实要改，应该改为如下更好：
you'd better investigate fully and plan carefully before taking the action. 这样就更清楚了。
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-4 16:03
angla 发表于 2014-9-4 13:14
姑娘
resemble是动词哦
哎我错了！！笔误 我的意思是 这里应该用名词形式呀！resemblance between....
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-4 16:32
loverony713 发表于 2014-9-4 16:03
哎我错了！！笔误 我的意思是 这里应该用名词形式呀！resemblance between....
谢谢啊。
我后来改过来了。
多谢提醒
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-4 18:52
angla 发表于 2014-9-4 16:32
谢谢啊。
我后来改过来了。
一起加油~ 还要请教杀G问题 看了你写的帖子哟~~~
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-4 19:39
9.3 综合
The lecture rejects the idea presented in the reading passage that commercial collections unfortunately jeopardize both the scientist and the general public.the professor points out that although commercial collection has negative consequence, the benefits totally outweigh the disadvantage.
First, the lecture doesn’t agree that the public suffer from interest decline because private collectors don’t allow public to view their collections.the professor argues that the public get greater exposure of fossils not less attributed to private collection. The reason is that commercial fossils hunting make more fossils available. Many low-level public institution , like libraries and public schools can routinely display the fossils to public.
Secondly, the lecture also criticize the opinion that the scientists lose access to discovery of fossils due to commercial hunting.the professor point out that the the first step of all private hunting is passing the fossils through the hands of scientists to examination and test.so the scientific community will not miss out any chance for fossils research.
Finally, the lecture challenge the final downside of fossils trading.the professor remind us that, even the commercial collectors indeed destroy some valuable scientific evidence associated with fossils,but they provide more available fossils, which otherwise is undiscovered ,greatly offsetting its shortcoming.
今天写得可真短。语言概括性太强也不是好事
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-4 22:04
angla 发表于 2014-9-4 19:39
9.3 综合
The lecture rejects the idea presented in the reading passage that commercial collections ...
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-4 22:10
9.3独立
The interest of student for a subject is essential to the quality of teaching. If the students have more interests on the subject, they will spend more their time on studying this subject and finally have a excellent result. Admittedly ,it is a good method to enhance students’ interest that teacher help the student link the knowledge in the courses with the students’ lives. The student know how to use the knowledge , they would be with more curiosity for the subject, and would be with exploring spirit to study it. However, it is so exaggerated to say this method is the best .there are many other more efficient ways to attract students’ interests.
Most importantly, the teaching method influence the interests of students. That including the speech skills of the teacher,the teaching equipment, and active atmosphere etc. In some subjects, such as philosophy and history,it is hardly to tell students how to use them in theirs lives. The students’ interest hinge on teacher’s speech skill. Provided that the teacher can use exact experiments to illustrate metaphysical and dull philosophy, can explain the history story with legends, the students’ interest will heavily reinforced. Besides ,good teaching equipment also can change student’s attitude to the subject. The typical one is multiple-media equipment, which can show video, pictures and ppt, and which is absolutely more interesting than traditional blackboard and writing. Moreover, an active atmosphere in the lecture will make student be more relax and stimulate their interests.
In the other aspect, encouragement is also significant for drawing attention of the students. generally, all the people like the subject they are expert in. In some cases, you can find that if a student has a high scores in a subject, he always get a high score in this subject. Because one success will encourage him, to prove that he is really good at it, he will spend more time to study it.later he get high score again.virtuous cycle is created. Teacher plays a important role in this cycle. Teach should help students regain their confidence when they feel frustration with their failure.constant encouragement build the interests of student efficiently.
The factors mentioned above are just small part of all factors. Many other factors also can influenced the interests of student. To achieve a best teaching quality, teachers must considered all relative factors, not just let the student know how to use the knowledge in their lives.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-4 22:11
loverony713 发表于 2014-9-4 22:04
你可真快
我独立刚写完。。。。。。。冏
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-4 22:14
angla 发表于 2014-9-4 22:11
你可真快
我独立刚写完。。。。。。。冏
哈哈 分分钟在刷你的作文楼呀 主要是太有责任感了怕改不完 哈哈哈哈
作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-4 22:49
angla 发表于 2014-9-4 13:37
mm
e.g 的用法是比较美式的用法，会让阅卷人觉得对美式表达很熟络，是讨好阅卷人的一种用法。参见很多作 ...
e.g新技能get！
恩恩那是我没读懂你的逻辑含义，你那么改确实更好些
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-5 12:04
9.4 综合
The reading passage argues that salvage logging is beneficial to both the damaged forest and economy. On the contrary, the lecture rejects this conclusion with three important aspects and points out that salvage logging is not beneficial but serious damage to environment and helpless to economy.
First, the lecture call the necessity in to question that salvage logging will remove the remains of dead tree and make the room for fresh growth, as a result help forest recover from disaster. The professor argues that the natural process of wood decomposition can enrich the soil. Oppositely, removal the dead tree rapidly will harm to new generation of tress owing to lack of nutrients.
Second, the professor remind us of ignorance about negative influence to forest animals. Admittedly, removing the decaying wood will decrease the harm sect but it also do harm to birds and other beneficial sects,which contribute to forest ecosystem. This measure will do more harm than benefits to forest’s health.
Finally, the professor indicates that even as passage stated that there are some economic benefits of salvage logging, but the benefits are small and temporary.because the lumber can be recovered just use the helicopter and other expensive vehicles, often, the cost can’t offset the earning. Furthermore, the jobs created by salvage logging are temporary and gained not by local residents but by outside experienced worker.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-5 15:55
9.4独立
In contemporary society, the science, technology, information and other modern civilization renew in every minute. To keep pace with the this innovation trend, all the people who want to dominate social lives should keep learning to improve their own skills and broaden their eyes. The teachers are not exception. Even to say, Taking courses every five years to update their knowledge is not enough for current demand. The teachers should attend the training whenever it is needed.
First and for most, taking courses regularly is a guarantee that the teachers are able to catch up with the progression of their research area. Nowadays,the research data updates rapidly. Whether the teacher can convey the newest research achievements and prevalent theories to students will largely determine the teaching quality of this teacher.only update knowledge can really help student study efficiently and win the compete in their career. In my experience,I was deeply touched with this. When I studied in medical college,my professor usually use textbook to teach us. All the medicine and diagnosis skills are belong to 1980s.professors had used this version of textbook for many years. when we began work in hospital, we found that most of our knowledge is obsolete and useless.it is so regretful that we need restart studying. If teachers update their teaching materials and take courses regularly, this problem should be resolved.
On the other hand, training is also beneficial to teachers themselves. In education sector, the competition is fierce, more and more young people join this team. Some young teacher accept international education and training. They have foresight with world’s change and sophisticated communication and teaching skills. They attract students’ interests easily. If present teachers are lack of sense to improve their teaching skills and fulfill their knowledge, their status are in jeopardy. They certainly will lose their competence.
The reasons mentioned above are key considerations for this topic, but they are not the all. Regularly training of teacher is so significant for their career. The frequency of taking courses is better once in one or two years. Some science information will become out of date in one year. Five years is too long to achieve the aim.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-5 15:56
loverony713 发表于 2014-9-4 22:14
哈哈 分分钟在刷你的作文楼呀 主要是太有责任感了怕改不完 哈哈哈哈
mm
我3号的独立还没有改哇。。。。
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-5 18:37
angla 发表于 2014-9-4 22:10
9.3独立
The interest of student for a subject is essential to the quality of teaching. If the stude ...
The interest of student for a subject is essential to the quality of teaching. If the students have more interests on the subject, they will spend more their time on studying this subject and finally have a (去掉)excellent results. Admittedly ,it is a good method to enhance students’ interest(你前面有用复数哦 这里是不是也得一起是复数) that teacher help the student link the knowledge in the courses with the(木有必要加the吧) students’ lives. (少了一个when?)The student know how to use the knowledge , they would be with more curiosity for the subject, and would be with exploring spirit to study it. However, it is so exaggerated to say this method is the best .there are many other more efficient ways to attract students’ interests.
Most (两种方式比较应该用more?)importantly, the teaching method influences the interests of students. That (that指代method 可是前面是逗号这样真的好么? 谓语是哪个?不如把后面详尽的方法作为插入语？) including the speech skills of the teacher,the teaching equipment, and active atmosphere etc. In some subjects, such as philosophy and history,it is hardly to tell students how to use them in theirs lives. The students’ interest hinge on teacher’s speech skill. Provided that the teacher can use exact experiments to illustrate metaphysical and dull philosophy, can explain the history story with legends, the students’ interest will heavily reinforced. Besides ,good teaching equipment also can change student’s attitude to the subject. The typical one is multiple-media equipment, which can show video, pictures and ppt, and which is absolutely more interesting than traditional blackboard and writing(这个词并列比较诡异 直接写writing on traditional blackboard). Moreover, an active atmosphere in the lecture will make student be more relax and stimulate their interests. (本段列举了三种新颖的教学模式 但是不够有“即视感” 加点具体的小栗子会更好)
In the other aspect, encouragement is also significant for drawing attention of the students. generally, all the people like the subject they are expert in. In some cases, you can find that if a student has a high scores in a subject, he always get a high score in this subject. Because one'S success will encourage him,(少个连词?) to prove that he is really good at it, he will spend more time to study it.later he get high score again.virtuous cycle is created. Teacher plays a important role in this cycle. Teaching should help students regain their confidence when they feel frustration with their failure.constant encouragement build the interests of student efficiently.（本段逻辑性很强容易理解 就是句型和单词变化比较少 主题句不够新颖 依然举个自己的小栗子更好~）
The factors mentioned above are just small part of all factors. Many other factors also can influenced the interests of student. To achieve a best teaching quality, teachers must considered all relative factors, not just let the student know how to use the knowledge in their lives.
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-5 21:46
angla 发表于 2014-9-5 15:55
9.4独立
In contemporary society, the science, technology, information and other modern civilization ...
9-4作文马上改.. 这快发烧脑袋总是不转！~~ 我会尽快的！！~~
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-5 22:03
angla 发表于 2014-9-5 15:55
9.4独立
In contemporary society, the science, technology, information and other modern civilization ...
9.4独立
In contemporary society, the science, technology, information and other modern civilization renew in every minute. To keep pace with the this innovation trend(喜翻), all the people who want to dominate social lives should keep learning to improve their own skills and broaden their eyes. The teachers are not exception. Even to say, Taking courses every five years to update their knowledge is not enough for current demand. The teachers should attend the training whenever it is needed.
First and for most, taking courses regularly is a guarantee that the teachers are able to catch up with the progression of their research area. Nowadays,the research data updates rapidly. Whether the teacher can convey the newest research achievements and prevalent theories to students will largely determine the teaching quality of this teacher.only update knowledge can really help student study efficiently and win the compete(这个是动词哟) in their career. In my experience,I was deeply touched with this(this 后面+N). When I studied in medical college,my professor usually use textbook to teach us. All the medicine and diagnosis skills are belong to 1980s.professors had used this version of textbook for many years. when we began work in hospital, we found that most of our knowledge is obsolete and useless.it is so regretful that we need restart studying. If teachers update their teaching materials and take courses regularly, this problem should be resolved.（小栗子我懂了 但是看你的论点 应该从老师的角度说个例子更好吧 可以先说 老师更新了知识后在专业怎么着了 得强调--经常更新--这个概念吧 要不怎么能和5年更新作对比呢？）
On the other hand, （加上frequently?）training is also beneficial to teachers themselves. In education sector, the competition is fierce, more and more young people join this team. Some young teacherS accept international education and training. They have foresight(好词 但我怎么查的是N形式？) with world’s change and sophisticated communication and teaching skills. They attract students’ interests easily. If present teachers are lack of sense to improve their teaching skills and fulfill their knowledge, their status are in jeopardy. They certainly will lose their competence.
（依然 这一段感觉总论点 The teachers should attend the training whenever it is needed联系不是很紧密。你只是说了training的重要性 但没有说对whatever it is needed加以论证）
The reasons mentioned above are key considerations for this topic, but they are not the all. Regularly training of teacher is so significant for their career. The frequency of taking courses is better once in one or two years. Some science information will become out of date in one year. Five years is too long to achieve the aim.（对比可以写在前面 并且再多说几句 我感觉最后一段只强调中心论点比较好）
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-5 22:31
angla 发表于 2014-9-5 12:04
9.4 综合
The reading passage argues that salvage logging is beneficial to both the damaged forest a ...
9.4 综合
The reading passage argues that salvage logging is beneficial to both the damaged forest and economy. On the contrary, the lecture rejects this conclusion with three important aspects and points out that salvage logging is not beneficial but DO seriousLY damage to environment and helpless to economy.
First, the lecture callS the necessity in to question that salvage logging will remove the remains of dead tree and make the room for fresh growth, as a result help forest recover from disaster. The professor argues that the natural process of wood decomposition can enrich the soil. Oppositely, removal the dead tree rapidly will harm to new generation of tress owing to lack of nutrients.
Second, the professor remindS us of ignorance about negative influence to(ON) forest animals. Admittedly, removing the decaying wood will decrease the harm sect but it also do harm to birds and other beneficial sects,which contribute to forest ecosystem. This measure will do more harm than benefits to forest’s health.
Finally, the professor indicates that even as passage stated that there are some economic benefits of salvage logging, but the benefits are small and temporary.because the lumber can be recovered just use the helicopter and other expensive vehicles, often, (少连词？)the cost can’t offset the earning. Furthermore, the jobs created by salvage logging are temporary and ARE gained not by local residents but by outside experienced worker.
改了两次Angela mm的综合 内容上一直很好 要是考场保持这个状态就太好了 就是三单要加强注意 你上一篇好几个类似indicate不加s的 还有个别语法错误~~
你的建议我记住了 要整合听力和阅读的内容 我慢慢改这个习惯
阅读部分需要提取的观点是：
- Mainpoint: 回收性砍伐对于森林和经济发展都好处
- Subpoint 1: 可以为新生树木提供生长空间
- Subpoint 2: 可以避免虫害伤害森林
- Subpoint 3: 有助于经济发展
听力部分需要提取的观点是：
Main point: 回收性砍伐弊大于利
Sub point 1: 回收性砍伐会使森林土壤失去营养
Sub point 2: 回收性砍伐会使鸟类和有益的昆虫失去栖息地，长久看来对森林无益
Sub point 3: 回收性砍伐经济利益很小。
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-7 21:31
9月6日综合
the reading passage argues that the current Science archaeology and the old cultural artifacts face with serious problems and limitation in Britain.the passage presents three reasons to support its idea.the professor, however introduces a new guideline passed by government to solve the problems mentioned in the reading passage.
In the first place,the professor points out one measure in the guideline aimed to the artifacts destroy. When a new construction project begin, lots of Scientist will be dispatched to exam and test whether the site of new construction has archaeological values. If they do, they should be preserved and choose another site. This solution resolve the problem that valuable artifacts were lost to construction projects mentioned in the reading passage.
In another aspect, the professor explains the stipulation of new guideline that the archaeology research in a construction site be founded by construction company, not by government previously. In this way, construction company will provide more funds to support the study of a great range archaeological site. This measure greatly resolve the scaricity of fund presented in reading passage.
Finally, the professor also mentions one important change in the new guideline that there will be more paid work for archaeologist. Expert archaeologist are hired all stage of process to examine the site for archaeological values. This measure has already successfully settled the issue that difficult to have a career in archaeology. Currently, in Britain, the number of professional archaeologists is highest in its history.
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-7 22:52
angla 发表于 2014-9-7 21:31
9月6日综合
the reading passage argues that the current Science archaeology and the old cultural art ...
9月6日综合
the reading passage argues that the current Science OF archaeology and the old cultural artifacts face with serious problems and limitation in Britain.the passage presents three reasons to support its idea.the professor, however introduces a new guideline passed by government to solve the problems mentioned in the reading passage.
In the first place,the professor points out one measure in the guideline aimed to (concerning 更好吧..有关于...更顺) the artifacts destroy. When a new construction project begin, lots of Scientist will be dispatched to exam and test whether the site of new construction has archaeological values. If they do, they should be preserved and choose (两个动词的发出者不同)another site. This solution resolveS the problem that valuable artifacts were lost to construction projects mentioned in the reading passage.
In another aspect, the professor explains the stipulation of new guideline that the archaeology research in a construction site SHOULD (在作文里面should就不要省略了)be founded by construction company, not by government previously. In this way, construction company will provide more funds to support the study of a greatER range archaeological site. This measure greatly resolveS the scaricity of fund presented in reading passage.
Finally, the professor also mentions one important change in the new guideline that there will be more paid work for archaeologist. Expert archaeologistS are hired all stageS of process to examine the site for archaeological values. This measure has already successfully settled the issue that difficult to have a career in archaeology. Currently, in Britain, the number of professional archaeologists is highest in its history.
阅读部分需要提取的观点是：
Main point: 英国考古学的发展面临着严峻的问题和局限性
Sub point 1: 建筑工程破坏考古遗迹
Sub point 2: 考公项目缺乏资金支持
Sub point 3: 考古学家的考古事业发展困难
听力部分需要提取的观点是：
Main point: 阅读中提到的所有问题都可以通过新的法规和指南加以解决
Sub point 1: 开工之前让考古学家进行检查，可以避免建筑工程破坏考古遗迹
Sub point 2: 考古费用由建筑公司承担
Sub point 3: 整个考古过程会提供很多新的工作机会
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-8 12:56
9.6日独立。。。。。。。
As the society development, more and more people participate the worldwide competition.they do their efforts to achieve success---that means, fulfill their dreams.there is a hot debate whether it’s much easier or more difficult to achieve success without help fro one’s family than in the past. From my perspective, indeed, success is much easier to attained than before.
In the first place, nowadays, the environment of competition is more fair than that in the past. At least every one has equal rights to go to university and do the job they ardently love. As I know in 1980’s china, whether a person can attend university depend on his family background. If he was born in a worker family, he would have more chances to go to university than a person who was born in intellectual family. Because in that historical period of Great Culture Revolution, Communist Party Organization determined who go to university. Even a person was rare genius, without a “glorious” family, his talent would be hided in a napkin.Furthermore, all the jobs were allocated by organization, nobody had a chance to choose what he liked. However, currently, all of us can choose our university and career we prefer..
And once again, compared to economic conditions in the past,today’s economic policy is more open and the information is more convenient to sharing the resource.people are more easily to get help and support from society other than their family. Many young people have innovation ideas, but they lack start-up capital to carry out their business idea. But now, more and more Angel Investment Organizations have emerged. Country’s policy encourage them to invest young people, while young people can obtain more chances from internet or media publicity to participate entrepreneurship contest and win the venture investment.it is current economic revolution that result in this huge change.young people achieve their success lean more on their own efforts than on their family background.
Yet, Is is hardly to say that ,completely,family has no affect on one’s success. Family also more or less has some influence on one’s success. Family’s education play a critical role in a person’s growth. You can see that Warren Buffett went to visit New York Stock Exchange when he was 6 years old. It is because his father was board representatives in NYSE. His family was the catalyst of his success.
Nonetheless, although family surely still has some effect on one’s success, the effects was weakened compare to the past. Now, we have already get more chances to fulfill our dream depend on our personal efforts without the help from our family.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-8 14:06
9.7日综合
The reading passage states that the number of birds is likely to continue declining as the result of three facts. The professor rejects these three facts to prove that the statement of the passage is unconvincing.
First, the professor point out that although the human population and settlement expand and the nature habitats, such as forest, grassland,wetland decrease,the habits for some kinds of birds increase.some kind of bird dwelling in city can find more food,such as pigeons and rodents.the result is that some population of birds shrink, but other grow. It is not necessarily to give a story of uniform decline.
Secondly,the professor admits that the agriculture truly decrease the habitats of bird,but it is not so soon as reading passage assumed and it is not correct to project this story to the future .the truth is that less and less land is used for agriculture in the United States.because more productive crops is introduces,the corp yields per unit increase.it is no need to destroy the wild area in the future.
Finally,the professor indicates that the prediction in the reading passage is incorrect,prediction that the chemical pesticides will decrease the population of birds and this trend will continue.she uses two facts to strengthen her opinion. First is that more and more new less toxic pesticides are developed, and second is that there is a grow trend to develop pest resistant crops,which is genetic designed and don’t harm to birds at all.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-8 17:13
9月7日 独立
Nowadays, There are many study materials in the market provided to students .More and more professional training organization emerge.students can study through many other channels than school and teacher. However, even this trend is continuing, It is unconvincing to conclude that teacher are appreciated and valued not as much as they were before.
As the economic development, people’s lives improve significantly. People are more urge to acquire knowledge. An increasing number of people expect to receive education and the role of the teacher is valued gradually. In my hometown , there were only several teachers in a whole town decades ago, because many people choose to work as quickly as possible, many people end their study after junior high school.but now, nearly 60% student will attend university. Meanwhile, the number of teacher is many times than that is before. Promotion the nationality’s hope is education, promotion education hope in teachers.
Furthermore, the paycheck of the teacher has been increasing dramatically. many years ago, teacher is not a career with good economic return. There is one proverb to describe this job with humor as “can not starve, but also is not enough to eat”. However, this situation has changed in recent years. The government advocates to promote the education of the country, and strive to reform the Compensation System of teachers. This reformation guarantee that outstanding talents have interests to stay in teacher’s position.the quality of teachers determines the quality of students, while the quality of graduated students determines the the competitiveness power of this country in the international competition. The whole country pays more appreciation and values to teachers.
Aside from those facts mentioned above. There are also many indicators to prove that teacher are more appreciated than they are before. For instance, they have more training chances and more promotion in their work. There are more media publicity materials to promote their professional image. All of these changes can confirm that teachers are more appreciated and valued than they were before.
作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-8 17:35
angla 发表于 2014-9-8 14:06
9.7日综合
The reading passage states that the number of birds is likely to continue declining as th ...
angla姐姐 我发现我的tpo18综合和你的不一样！我的是为了改善某种树的减少提出的三种建议。你这篇我没有做到过诶
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-8 17:52
daisy333 发表于 2014-9-8 17:35
angla姐姐 我发现我的tpo18综合和你的不一样！我的是为了改善某种树的减少提出的三种建议。你这篇我没有 ...
题里面说的是TPO17啊，这是7号的作业
今晚才8号作业分组。。。。
作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-8 21:20
angla 发表于 2014-9-8 17:52
题里面说的是TPO17啊，这是7号的作业
今晚才8号作业分组。。。。
噢漏。。。我看错了 我马上去听tpo17
作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-8 22:37
The reading passage states that the number of birds is likely to continue declining as the result of three facts. The professor rejects these three facts to prove that the statement of the passage is unconvincing.
First, the professor points out that although the human populations and settlements expand and the nature habitats, such as forest, grassland,wetland decrease,the habits for some kinds of birds increase, some kinds of bird dwelling in city can find more food, such as pigeons and rodents.(这一段信息点听反了，是另两种鸟prey on pigeons and rodents。虽然这个信息我都没听到TAT)the result is that some population of birds shrink, but other grow. It is not necessarily to give a story of uniform decline.
Secondly,the professor admits that the agriculture truly decrease the habitats of bird,but it is not so soon as reading passage assumed and it is not correct to project this story to the future .the truth is that less and less land is used for agriculture in the United States.because more productive crops is introduced, the corp yields per unit increase.it is no need to destroy the wild area in the future.
Finally,the professor indicates that the prediction in the reading passage is incorrect,prediction that the chemical pesticides will decrease the population of birds and this trend will continue.（这一句是做宾语补足语吗？放在之前的prediction后确实会显得头重脚轻，但不知道这种用法的正误，以前没看过，求angla指教！）she uses two facts to strengthen her opinion. First is that more and more new less toxic pesticides are developed, and second is that there is a grow trend to develop pest resistant crops,which is genetic designed and don’t harm to birds at all.
信息点很完整，表达也很流畅。小问题就是一些三单 复数什么的
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-8 22:52
daisy333 发表于 2014-9-8 22:37
The reading passage states that the number of birds is likely to continue declining as the result of ...
冏。。。。。。。。谁改我作文都说这个问题。。。。。。。哎哟。。。。咋就改不掉呢
作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-8 22:56
angla 发表于 2014-9-8 22:52
冏。。。。。。。。谁改我作文都说这个问题。。。。。。。哎哟。。。。咋就改不掉呢 ...
我自己也是。。。。。。最好的办法应该是快点写完，争取多点时间出来给自己检查
作者: chasedreamabc 时间: 2014-9-8 23:10
daisy333 发表于 2014-9-8 22:37
The reading passage states that the number of birds is likely to continue declining as the result of ...
这个同位语用法就是为了避免头重脚轻才用的。正常语序是 the professor indicates that the prediction in the passage that the chemical pesticides will decrease the population of birds and this trend will continue is incorrect
这样表达才totally头重脚轻。语法没问题。GMAT的高级语法。就是大部分人都读着觉得费劲。。。但是因为逻辑的层次太多了，所以才用的这种表达。。。
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-8 23:15
angla 发表于 2014-9-8 17:13
9月7日 独立
9月7日 独立
Nowadays, There are many study materials in the market provided to students .More and more(太土了 用increasingly都比这个好) professional training organizationS emerge.students can study through many other channels than school and teacher. However, even this trend is continuing, It is unconvincing to conclude that teacher are appreciated and valued not as much as they were before.
As the economic development(赶紧换了 develop by leaps and bounds), people’s lives improve significantly. People are more urge to acquire knowledge. An increasing number of people expect to receive education and the role of the teacher is valued gradually.(紫色这句话是重点 应该放在最前面当主题句) In my hometown , there were only several teachers in a whole town decades ago, because many people choose(时态) to work as quickly as possible, many people end their study after junior high school.but now, nearly 60% student will attend university. Meanwhile, the number of teacher is many times(好虚...) than that is(number is ?不对吧- -) before. Promotion the nationality’s hope is education, promotion education hope in teachers.(这句话真心没明白什么意思..)
（这一段没有明确写明白为什么老师比以前更加受重视了 你的论点是人们更加热爱学习了 但是论述中没有细节表明 学生的态度变化。单纯的老师的数量变多了 不能说明这一点）
Furthermore, the paycheck of the teacher has been increasing dramatically. many years ago, teacher is not a career with good economic return. There is one proverb to describe this job with humor as “can not starve, but also is not enough to eat”. However, this situation has changed in recent years. The government advocates to promote the education of the country, and strive to reform the Compensation System of teachers. This reformation guaranteeS that outstanding talents have interests to stay in teacher’s position.the quality of teachers(老师的质量?怎么有点别扭- - 感觉quality是指物理状态 应该说教学质量？) determines the quality of students, while the quality of graduated students determines the the competitiveness power(有点重复?竞争力的力量?) of this country in the international competition. The whole country pays more appreciation and values(感觉意思表达不对..搭配不太恰当 直接说国家更注重教育) to teachers.
（而且结尾应该和教师工资（remuneration）联系起来吧..... 因为你的主题句是教师薪资增加了 要不显得不够扣题）
Aside from those facts mentioned above.(这是半句话啊亲！) There are also many indicators to prove that teacher are more appreciated than they are before. （恕我直言 几乎没用 只是重复 或者变化一下句型吸引眼球）For instance, they have more training chances and more promotion in their work. There are more media publicity materials（不晓得这样用对不对） to promote their professional image. All of these changes can confirm that teachers are more appreciated and valued than they were before.
（我觉得可以分别给你说的factors举个例子...或者再多想几个factor 思路挺好）
|
作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-8 23:23
daisy333 发表于 2014-9-8 22:56
我自己也是。。。。。。最好的办法应该是快点写完，争取多点时间出来给自己检查 ...
谢谢小官人！新技能get 妈妈再也不用担心我头重脚轻了~
作者: mygirlzini 时间: 2014-9-9 08:48
angla 发表于 2014-9-7 21:31
9月6日综合
the reading passage argues that the current Science archaeology and the old cultural art ...
对于这么晚才上传，我已经进行了严肃的批评与自我教育。文章标注的地方有点多，如果有什么不妥的地方，还请见谅。
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-9 14:16
daisy333 发表于 2014-9-8 23:23
谢谢小官人！新技能get 妈妈再也不用担心我头重脚轻了~
不好意思啊。
那个是我回的
昨天我当班，所以不小心用了那个账号回复了。。。。
作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-9 16:38
angla 发表于 2014-9-9 14:16
不好意思啊。
那个是我回的
昨天我当班，所以不小心用了那个账号回复了。。。。 ...
哈哈 那谢谢angla姐姐！
作者: jason509 时间: 2014-9-9 20:15
没看到angla 9-8的作业邪。。。是我找错地方了嘛
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-11 19:25
9.10日综合
The reading passage advocates that the “let it burn”policy should be replaced by a new policy of distinguishing forest fire as soon as they appeared. The passage gave three reasons to support this new policy and critics the former one. However, the lecture rejects this critics with another three evidence and point out that the fires are natural part of ecological cycle,and they have not only destructive but also creative influence to the forest.
First,the lecture disagree with the opinion in the reading passage that the fire has tremendous damage to the trees and plants in the forest.on the contrary,the lecture considers that the fire will benefit the diversity of the plants. Those smalls plants which once were in the shadow of the big tree now take the opportunities to grow and those seeds of some plants which once won’t germinate now can exposed to the open air and high temperature.
Secondly,the lecture also opposes to the viewpoint of the passage that the wildlife will be affected negatively because of fire .unlike passage,the lecture thinks that the fire also can provide creative opportunity to wild animals. Because small plants growing after fire provide habitat to many animals, such as rabbits and hares, whose thriving will benefit their predators. As the result, food chains become stronger than they were before.
Finally, the lecture thinks that the passage exaggerate to economic problem caused by fire. The destructive fire will not happen every year. The happening of forest fire comparable to Yellowstone is determined by combination of the low rainfall, strong wind and dry undergrowth.this combination has not seen since 1988. The visitors and the local economy would not change dramatically
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-11 21:46
angla 发表于 2014-9-11 19:25
9.10日综合
The reading passage advocates that the “let it burn”policy should be replaced by a new ...
9.10日综合
The reading passage advocates that the “let it burn”policy should be replaced by a new policy of distinguishing forest fire as soon as they appeared. The passage gave three reasons to support this new policy and critics the former one. However, the lecture rejects this critics with another three evidence and pointS out that the fires are natural part of ecological cycle,and they have not only destructive but also creative(positive?) influence to(on) the forest.
First,the lecture disagreeS with the opinion in the reading passage that the fire has tremendous damage to the trees and plants in the forest.on the contrary,the lecture considers that the fire will benefit the diversity of the plants. Those smalls plants which once were in the shadow of the big tree now take the opportunities to grow and those seeds of some plants which once won’t germinate now can exposed to the open air and high temperature.
Secondly,the lecture also opposes to the viewpoint of the passage that the wildlife will be affected negatively because of fire .unlike passage,the lecture thinks that the fire also can provide creative opportunity to wild animals. Because small plants growing after fire provide habitat to many animals, such as rabbits and hares, whose thriving will benefit their predators. As the result, food chains (would) become stronger than they were before.
Finally, the lecture thinks that the passage exaggerateS to(需要加to么?) economic problem caused by fire. The destructive fire will not happen every year. The happening of forest fire comparable to Yellowstone(这是比较么?比较双方不太对等..) is determined by combination of the low rainfall, strong wind and dry undergrowth.this combination has not seen(被看到?) since 1988. The visitors and the local economy would not change dramatically |
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-11 22:50
9.10日
独立：政府应该在医疗保障还是环境治理上花更多精力
As the industry society develop, the living standard is improving.Unfortunately, accompanying with this change, the problems of environment pollution and the health care become hot topics. The landfill causes damage to soil structure;the chemical pollution led to the scarcity of water resource; the fog and haze weather threatens the people’s health at every moment. Meanwhile,in this century, the demographic structure of the whole world has changed. Especially in developed country, the aging population is a vital problem that cannot be neglected.it is no denying that aging population will result in health problems. Cardiovascular disease and Oncology are prevailing nowadays. All these issues need government’s attention. However, compared to the health problems, the situation of pollution is more severe.
To begin with, many diseases was cause by pollution. Solve the pollution issue will solve the heath problems indirectly. For instance,only in 40% days of one year, the air condition fulfill the quality standard. There are many particles generated by industry factory—we called PM2.5. Which form fog and haze in the city. When people active in such a poor quality air, respiratory diseases break out. In the same time, people refuse to exercise in such environment, impelling the high occurrence of Cardiovascular disease, obesity, and diabetes. Similarly, pollution of water and soil lead to human cells mutation, which caused oncology. Only we prevent the occurrence of pollution, we can solve the health problem at root.
Furthermore, curb environment pollution benefits the local economy. Soil remediation can contributes to increasing crop area. More health lands are used to plant crops, greatly increasing the agriculture revenues. Controlling water pollution can restrain the decrease of water resource. Once the water is deficient, the living cost increase, which is seriously harm to local economy. Likewise, air condition improvement can increase the tourists from other country, which increase fiscal revenue. Admittedly, health care also can bring about GDP growth, nonetheless, the effect is slower than that from pollution controlling.
In addition, the pollution problems are more urgent to settle. Science progression itself is a slow process.health care problem is not a overnight thing, needing long-term efforts. Whereas people can not endure to live in a polluted environment more than one minute.Procrastinating more to resolve it, more loss will be caused. Therefore,the government should settle the pollution problem with no time to delay and regard health care as a long-term objective.
In a nutshell, both health care and the pollution are matters vital to national well-being and people’s livelihood, yet currently pollution issue is extremely urgent. Government should pay more attention to how to resolve the problem, and eventually give the national people a beautiful blue sky and white cloud , a green hill and clear water.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-11 22:58
今天的独立学了不少emily的句子哈。。。嘿嘿嘿
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-11 23:01
loverony713 发表于 2014-9-11 21:46
我那个comparable不是比较，意思是forest fire能够和yellowstone 那次差不多大的。可能还是需要that occur in yellowstone 1988.。。。。。。。
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-12 20:05
angla 发表于 2014-9-11 22:50
9.10日
独立：政府应该在医疗保障还是环境治理上花更多精力
9.10日
独立：政府应该在医疗保障还是环境治理上花更多精力
As the industry society develop(动词后面最好加上副词修饰), the living standard is improving(加上correspondingly\simultaneously).Unfortunately, accompanying with this change, the problems of environment pollution and the health care become hot topics. The landfill causes damage to soil structure;the chemical pollution led to the scarcity of water resource; the fog and haze weather threatens the people’s health at every moment. Meanwhile,in this century, the demographic structure of the whole world has changed. Especially in developed country(总感觉应该和前一句是同一句话), the aging population is a vital problem that cannot be neglected.it is no denying that aging population will result in health problems. Cardiovascular disease and Oncology are prevailing nowadays. All these issues need government’s attention. However, compared to the health problems, the situation of pollution is more severe. (开头好长 在考场上我感觉没时间写这么多 哈哈)
To begin with, many diseases was cause by pollution. Solve(ing) the pollution issue will solve(settle\conquer) the heath problems indirectly. For instance,only in 40% days of one year, the air condition fulfill(S) (感觉动词搭配不对..) the quality standard. There are many particles, WHAT WE CALLED PM2.5,(我觉得写个插入语比较好) generated by industry factory—we called PM2.5. Which(不是新的一句吧 应该限定修饰N.) form fog and haze in the city. When people active(我觉得breath和air是搭配的呀..) in such a poor quality air, respiratory diseases break out. In the same time, people refuse to exercise in such environment, impelling the high occurrence of Cardiovascular disease, obesity, and diabetes. Similarly, pollution of water and soil lead to human cells mutation, which caused oncology. Only(后面不是倒装么?) we prevent the occurrence of pollution, we can solve the health problem at root.
Furthermore, curb(ing) environment pollution benefits the local economy. Soil remediation can contributes to increasing crop area. More health lands are used to plant crops, greatly increasing the agriculture revenues. Controlling water pollution can restrain the decrease of water resource. Once the water is deficient, the living cost (WOULD) increase, which is seriously harm(detrimental) to local economy. Likewise, air condition improvement can increase the tourists from other country(不太懂 直接说simultaneously不就好了), which increase fiscal revenue. Admittedly, health care also can bring about (enhance?) GDP growth, nonetheless, the effect is slower than that from pollution controlling.
In addition, the pollution problems are more urgent to settle. Science progression itself is a slow process.health care problem is not a overnight thing, needing(总觉得用的不太好...) long-term efforts. Whereas people can not endure to live in a polluted environment more than one minute.Procrastinating more to resolve it(不知道这样对不对), more loss will be caused. Therefore,the government should settle the pollution problem with no time to delay and regard health care as a long-term objective.
我觉得最后一段相比较于前两段逻辑展开不是很好 细节不够多。而且论据的urgent没有体现出来 应该用具体的事例支撑。
In a nutshell, both health care and the pollution are matters vital to national well-being(高级) and people’s livelihood, yet currently pollution issue is extremely urgent. Government should pay more attention to(感脚着直接加N会比较好) how to resolve the problem, and eventually (主语)give the national people a beautiful blue sky and white cloud , a green hill and clear water.
逻辑清晰 主题句很好。语言有很大提升，但是你所查的词 还有那些疾病神马的 自己都得记住 并且没有拼写错误。
相比之下我觉得我那篇文章的论述就不太有层次感。我参考你的再修改一下~~ |
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-12 20:08
loverony713 发表于 2014-9-12 20:05
啊对了！~ mm把文章改好发我一份吧 当做范文保存 哈哈 我是认真的！！！
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-13 18:32
loverony713 发表于 2014-9-12 20:05
mm
疾病的词，俺不用查的哦。天生就会的。。。。。。。。在下是医学硕士。。。。嘿嘿嘿(●ˇ∀ˇ●)
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-13 18:38
9.11综合
The reading Passage argues that the ethanol is not a good replacement for gasoline for three reasons how ever, the professor of the lecture points out that the reasons stated by passage are unconvincing and concludes that the ethanol is a good alternative to gasoline.
First, the professor indicates that the passage ignore the advantage of growing plants about carbon dioxide removal. Event though, as the passage stated that burning the ethanol would generate carbon dioxide in the same way as burning gasoline. And the carbon dioxide is the greenhouse gas,which can lead to global worming. Nonetheless,growing plants also can absorb the carbon dioxide. The removal can counteract the release of carbon dioxide.
In addition, the professor reveals that passage neglect the original production of ethanol. Unlike the passage’s idea that producing ethanol with plants would dramatically reduce the food and animals, the professor’s opinion is that the ethanol is generated by the cellulose of plants, which is not eaten by animals. As the result, the amount of animal feed that is available will not be reduced.
Finally, the professor rejects the statement of lecture that the price of ethanol will increase once the government abolish the tax-subsides giving. Although currently, the government gives tax-subsides for growing ethanol every year for 11 billion and this policy will not continue, the price of ethanol will not has a increase trend. Because if there is enough people start buying the ethanol, the producer will increase. More supply generally lead to drop in its price. The studies shows that if the ethanol production is 3 time than it now, the cost of producing ethanol will drop by 40%.
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-13 19:32
angla 发表于 2014-9-13 18:32
mm
疾病的词，俺不用查的哦。天生就会的。。。。。。。。在下是医学硕士。。。。嘿嘿嘿(●ˇ∀ˇ●) ...
高大上！！小会计膜拜一下么么哒！！~~~~~ ps 快发来范文 哈哈
作者: chasedreamabc 时间: 2014-9-13 23:35
Nowadays,the student’s education became the worldwide challenge for every country. How to motive student’s interest in study? How to cultivate them to be talents? What kind of education system would most contribute to nation’s human resource force? A series of question need us to answer. For pedagogies, many countries, especially some western countries, insist on quality-oriented education, which advocates that teacher should make efforts to stimulate the student’s interest, give children and youth a happy life, refute to constrain student’s creativity, suggest that student study hard while playing hard.Oppositely, some Asian countries, their national ethic is hardworking. They encourage students study hard and constantly. china is a typical example.in ancient china, there was a story about a student, who hang his head on the beam and stab his thigh by cone when he studied in the night to prevent him from sleeping, and who became the highly praised role model of all students. In addition, in present china, there is also a well0known concept—don’t let children lose on the the starting line.parents are enthusiastic for put their children in dazzling courses. They even wish students can study in school more than 11 months each year. For my perspective, these parents exaggerate the importance of school’s education for students growing up. Students shouldn’t spend so much time on studying in the school.
To begin with, the effect of education is not just related to the time of the study. The education quality is determined by many factors. First, the teaching contents of school.today’s students are inevitably superior to the students in ancient times. Because the current students study many curricula,such as science, history, literature etc.the syllabus is most important for the quality of education. Furthermore, the excellent teaching skills will probably cause a sound quality of education. Teacher who specialized in stimulating student’s study interest and using variety of effective teaching method would certainly give a good result. Finally, government’s regulation of education system is also play a critical role for education quality. For instance, the college entrance examination of present china is referred to the single-log bridge to the university.many high school spend most their time to teach students how to do exam but not the real knowledge and the skill. As a result, the students who get the high score but eventually lose the competence in university and society. In the nutshell, just make student study in the school more than 11 months will not improve the education quality radically.
On another way, allowing more time for students to execute extra-curricula activities is more beneficial for student’s growing up. Except for the knowledge in textbook, the students should study the knowledge of the society: how to cooperate with others, how to foster the sense of responsibility, and how to build personal leadership, and so on. Only participate more society activities, students can become a well-rounded person. For example, a prevailing dream of some students now is that traveling around the world in their one or two year’s free time. Travel will not only give direct knowledge about the world to student, but also nurture the independence of children. And another example, many families in US encourage their children to do the inventions by their own interests. You can see a 10 years old child has software programmed by himself. And you can see many students create their company when they are studying college, like Zack Burke, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. All their achievements are got outside the school. If they spend more than 11 months in their school’s study, don’t you see those famous and great miracles?
Aside from what I mentioned above, there are many other reasons to prove that the strategy of spending such many times in the school is suck. We should give children more chance to motivate their creativity and arose their imagination to make them become the person they really wanted.
我承认，今天写得太多了，有点不切实际，实际考试需要删减。辛苦mm改了。。。。
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-13 23:45
我去，晕死，不小心用队长号发了作文。。。。。。。。冏
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-14 14:56
Angela作文修改
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-14 15:08
angla 发表于 2014-9-13 18:38
9.11综合
The reading Passage argues that the ethanol is not a good replacement for gasoline for th ...
9.11综合
The reading Passage argues that the ethanol is not a good replacement for gasoline for three reasons how ever, the professor of the lecture points out that the reasons stated by passage are unconvincing and concludes that the ethanol is a good alternative to gasoline.
First, the professor indicates that the passage ignoreS the advantage of growing plants about carbon dioxide removal. Event though, as the passage stated that(两个从句?) burning the ethanol would generate carbon dioxide in the same way as burning gasoline. And the carbon dioxide is the greenhouse gas,which can lead to global worming. Nonetheless,growing plants also can absorb the carbon dioxide. The removal can counteract the release of carbon dioxide.
In addition, the professor reveals that passage neglectS the original production of ethanol. Unlike the passage’s idea that producing ethanol with plants would dramatically reduce the food and animals, the professor’s opinion is that the ethanol is generated by the cellulose of plants, which is not eaten by animals.(写的太好了 跪拜) As the result, the amount of animal feed that is available will not be reduced.
Finally, the professor rejects the statement of lecture that the price of ethanol will increase once the government abolish the tax-subsides giving. Although currently, the government gives tax-subsides for growing ethanol every year for 11 billion and this policy will not continue, the price of ethanol will not has a increase trend. (感觉这两个句子内容不是although的关系呀) Because if there is enough people start buying the ethanol, the producer will increase. More supply generally lead to drop in its price. The studies shows that if the ethanol production is 3 time than it now, the cost of producing ethanol will drop by 40%.
看了你的评价才发现自己写的综合内容有多屎 这大概就是G作文永远都是4分的原因吧 我这综合确实需要提高一下了- - 一起加油=v= |
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-23 19:24
独立：一个大学为了吸引好学生，花很多钱给学生组织社会实践
Nowadays, the students have chance to choose their dream school.they usually select one after comparing it with many others.the university also improve their fame through many ways. To attract the excellent students, they prefer to spend enormous sum of money to organize the social practical work.for my perspective, this strategy is beneficial for both students and the university.
To begin with, social practice can improve the competence of the students. In the inter job, the students can use the knowledge studied in college courses to the practical work. This experience can help students to apply for a appealing formal job or apply for a higher education chances. In my experience, before I graduated from the college, the university give us a inter job chance to work in a famous hospital for half a year. In that period, I used the knowledge to my daily work, which enhance my skills greatly. After my graduation, I took part in the interview of a Top 500 company. The chief valued my working experience in this period, and eventually gave me the chance to join Pfizer.
On the other hand, university also can take advantage of practical job chance to keep a good cooperation relationship with companies.university need chance to sent their students to remarkable companies. Meanwhile, the company need outstanding talents to work for them. This relationship will benefit the both sides. For instance, UIBE,a finance university which is not very famous, has a frame agreement with Big Four that all the students can be sent to Big four to be intern and if the students have a excellent performance in their intern period, they can get formal job chance after graduation. that means, students who choose to study in UIBE has almost already entered the Big Four. For such a good job chance, many preeminent students choose enter UIBE with no hesitate.this cooperation greatly increase the attraction of the university.
In the nutshell,organizing the practical work for students will both improve the skills of the graduated students and influence the students’ employment chances directly. Universities who wanted to attract more outstanding students can use this strategy.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-23 19:24
TPO12的综合我写过了，不好意思，不用改了
作者: echosun2002 时间: 2014-9-23 20:21
Nowadays, the students have chance to choose their dream school.they usually select one after comparing it with many others.the university(universities) also improve their fame through many ways. To attract the excellent students, they prefer to spend enormous sum of money to organize the social practical work.for my perspective, this strategy is beneficial for both students and the university.
To begin with, social practice can improve the competence of the students. In the inter job, the students can use the knowledge studied in college courses to the practical work. This experience can help students to apply for a appealing formal job or apply for(建议删掉，和前面的动词一样) a higher education chances. In my experience, before I graduated from the college, the university gives us an inter job chance to work in a famous hospital for half a year. In that period, I used the knowledge to（第二次使用use to，建议换成其他词组） my daily work, which enhances my skills greatly. After my graduation, I took part in the interview of a Top 500 company. The chief valued my working experience in this period, and eventually gave me the chance to join Pfizer.
On the other hand, university（universities可数名词不可单独出现） also can take advantage of practical job chance to keep (a) good cooperation relationships with companies.university(universities) need chance to sent their students to remarkable companies. Meanwhile, the company needs outstanding talents to work for them. This relationship will benefit the both sides. For instance, UIBE,a finance university which is not very famous, has a frame agreement with Big Four that all the students can be sent to Big four to be intern and if the students have a excellent performance(主语和宾语单复数要保持一致) in their intern period, they can get formal job chance after graduation. that means, students who choose to study in UIBE has(have) almost already entered the Big Four. For such a good job chance, many preeminent students choose enter UIBE with no hesitate.this cooperation greatly increases the attraction of the university.题目是大学为了吸引好学生投入大量成本在社会实践，第二段的主题句是学校可以利用社会实践保持与企业的良好合作从而受益感觉和题目关系较远，从后面看是学校保持与企业的关系，从而学生可以获得工作机会，从而达到吸引学生的目地，其实是和题目吻合的，建议主题句能够体现关键的观点。
In the nutshell,organizing the practical work for students will both improve the skills of the graduated students and influence the students’ employment chances directly. Universities who wanted to attract more outstanding students can use this strategy.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-24 19:04
23日独立
With the economic progressing by leaps and bounds, the issue of people’s living style has drawn widespread attention.the way people kill their leisure time varified.people have more income than 20years ago to afford variety of creation activities,which include enjoying a massage, going to KTV with friends, playing games on internet and going to coffee bars etc. However, for all these changes, people also are faced with losing more chance to obtain real rest. Honestly, I don’t share their point of view that people have more time to relax than 20 years ago.
To start with, It is this information explosion age that causes us to keep tension all the time and lose the chance to calm the nerves and restore the soul. The science and technology not only change our lives but also ruin our lives. Can you remember that how much time you spend on updating your Facebook contents and looking around information about others? And how much time you soak on the internet just read some of entertainment star’s box news? And how many interrupt commercial calls you have to accept and answer. All of these activities lead our working low efficiency. As the result, we have less time to concentrate on our study and work. That is to say, the reality is that people have less time to rest. In my experience, if I want to implement a essential task—TOEFL exam preparation— in a short time, i will try to cut off all connection with outside, such as getting rid of internet,forbidden myself from blogs or reject all strange calls. Accordingly, I feel more easily to complete study task and more time to relax.
Further, nowadays peer competition is more fierce, people less intend to enjoy their leisure time than they did 20 years ago. As the market-oriented economy developed, the wealth gap between rich and poor enlarge, which cause people loose their psychological balance and a large portion of people struggle to keep up with the joneses. Due to this concept, many people endeavor to study or accept training to recharge. Besides, they also spend a lot of time in social intercourse to seek more chance to be successful. Ultimately, people loose time to have a leisure time with their family and relax themselves. Myself is a typical example.20 yeas ago, I lived in village.the life is simple and without any sorrow and anxiety, and in every night I had a sweet dream. Oppositely, I have to busy with working, studying English, applying for MBA, managing my money and my house, keep good relationship with all customers and social team,etc. Currently, I have seriously less leisure time than before.
Based on the argument offered above. I concede today’s creation is colorful, but the real leisure time is obviously less than 20years ago.
作者: muluobinglan 时间: 2014-9-25 08:05
不好意思 改的晚了 而且我用word 改的 有些高亮什么的可能粘过来就木有了 ...我是第一次用 下次注意
作者: muluobinglan 时间: 2014-9-25 08:09
With theeconomic progressing by leaps and bounds, the issue of people’s livingstyle has drawn widespread attention. the way people kill their leisure time verified(varied). people have more income than 20years ago toafford variety of creation activities, which include enjoying a massage, goingto KTV with friends, playing games on the internet and going to coffee bars etc. However, for all these changes, people also are faced with losing morechance to obtain real rest. Honestly, I don’t (do not一般书面语不用缩写)share their point of view thatpeople have more time to relax than 20 years ago.
etc用法的话,应该是a,b,c,etc. 就不用and 了
而且 题目是 20年后 人们有更多的时间来休息
To startwith, It is this (a) information explosion age 或者是 in this information explosion age 加完整句子 that causes us to keep tension allthe time, and lose the chance to calm the nerves and restore the soul.The science and technology not only change our lives but also ruin our lives.Can you remember (可能用do you realize 好点)that how much time you spend on updating your Facebook contents and lookingaround information about others? And how much time you soak on the internet just read someof entertainment star’s box news? And how many interrupt commercial calls you have to acceptand answer. All of these activities lead our working low efficiency. As the a result, we have less time toconcentrate on our study and work. That is to say, the reality is that peoplehave less time to rest. In my experience, if I want to implement a essentialtask—TOEFL exam preparation— in a short time, i will try to cut off allconnection with outside, such as getting rid of internet,forbidden myself from blogs or reject all strange calls. 不平行 Accordingly, I feel more easily to complete study task and more time to relax. (还是and平行不对 或者说it is easier for me toconcentrate so that I can …我觉得这么说会比较容易做到平行 )
Further, nowadayspeer competition is more fierce, people less intend to enjoy their leisure timethan they did 20 years ago. ( are less intended to do 应该是，或者have less intension; 这句话没有连词)As the market-orientedeconomy developed, thewealth gap between rich and poor enlarge, which cause people to loose theirpsychological balance and a large portion of people struggle to keep up withthe joneses. Due to this concept,many people endeavor to study or accept training to recharge.(due to 加the concept很奇怪，前一句的which cause ..太长反而不够清晰明确 建议两句话再重新整合一下) Besides, they also spend a lot of time in social intercourse （我觉得networking 会比较地道 ） to seek more chance to be successful. Ultimately, people loose （lose）time to have a leisure time withtheir family and relax themselves. (lose time to spendtime…有语病)Myself is a typical example.20 yeas ago, I lived in village. the lifeis simple and without any sorrow and anxiety, and in every night I had asweet dream. Oppositely, I have to busy with working, studying English,applying for MBA, managing my money and my house, keep good relationship withall customers and social team,etc.(还是etc用法 还有这句动词不对) Currently, I have seriously lessleisure time than before. 我觉得用much less time 就好 seriously有点奇怪
Based on the argument offeredabove. I concede today’s creation iscolorful, but the real leisure time is obviously less than 20years ago.
总的来说，可能是因为写得比较着急， 大小写不太注意。而且题目看错了， 然后平行， 动词用法也要注意…
作者: chasedreamabc 时间: 2014-9-26 00:39
Please recall the the the plot of Princes Sisi,an elegant, gentle and vivid beautiful girl, has impressed many younger and is the dream lover of one generation. It is her graceful temperament and polite manner win every one’s heart. However, nowadays, many young people lack of study about ritual. In addition, the working stress makes people irritating and the information technology lets people indifferent to social relation. Thus, people became rude to another, the courtesy fade away.but, actually ,there is no benefit to be rude to others.
To start with, rude attitude will inevitably hinder the development of congenial relationship with others. As a result, loose many good chance of cooperation or promotion. My friend, Jenny is a typical example.she is skilled and bright. When coping with every project, she amplifies her efforts to accomplish it. unfortunately, she only has one weakness—can’t control her emotion, that to say, sometimes be rude to others, who including customers, peers, bosses. It’s frequent to hear the criticism related to her. This shortcoming largely impede her promotion. Furthermore, there is a proverb that Thousands miles river levee collapse in ants. Sometimes when you do everything perfect but a rude manner, eventually, you will lose all. To build up friendship necessitate several years.oppositely, destroy one just need 1 minute.
On the other hand,a rude manner will surely broke one’s personal image. Rude manner, i.e. loosing temper usually, unavoidable reveals a image of superficial, ill breeding, illiteracy etc. Once those who are labeled with these characteristics, they are easily isolated by others.all the people want to make friends with someone bringing about happiness,but arguments.no one is an exception. Moreover, if the rude manner happens in public place, especially in foreign country, national spirit will be destruct. several days ago, two Korea quarrel with a Chines shop assistant and abuse them with dirty word. Soon afterwards, a news report present in mass media, the name of article is Rude Korea. Which seriously destroy the country’s image.
Besides, rude manner also make us loose the ethic and traditional virtue. Specifically, China is a country with ancient civilization and ceremony. Those are cultural heritage from our ancestors.we should inherit these culture essence. Keeping away from rude manner is essential.
Based on all reasons offered above,rude manner totally harm to everything.there is never reason to rude to another.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-26 20:12
the reading passage focus on the issue of the origin of the odd sound 'quackers'. it points out that there are three possible theories to explain. however, the professor of the lecture contradicts these three theories and states that all of them are problematic.
first, even though the theory is sounds reasonable that the sound is used to call male and female by ocra whales, because this detected odd sound resemble the sound they attract a male in the research.the professor points out that this theory is unwarranted. the ocra whales activate on the surface of the ocean, the submarine sonar is impossible to detect the surface sounds. besides,the whales sound could have been detected by Russian sonar is they are nearby.
second, another theory in the reading passage is that the sound is caused by giant squid, because they have complex brain.it is possible that they cause the sound when they chase other submarines. the professor points out the paradox of the time.the sound was detected in 20years,buy suddenly disappear in 1980.however, the giant squid has been living here consistently.
finally,the passage also speculate the third theory that the sound originate from military technology. the reason is that some foreign military using the technology specifically to designed the sound undetected. the professor also refute this theory as can not be hold up.the evidence is that the sound move quickly and change director frequently,no technology is available to have this characteristic.moreover,if a machine emits the sound, it will make a company noise and no accessible engine can work as that fast and that silent.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-26 23:14
In our lives,we frequently confront poverty, illness,and suffering.when we are forced to in those predicament, from who you expect to acquire the supports? Some are inclined to seek help from government; some believe the only person can be relied on is himself; and, another anchor their hopes on their family.in my opinion, I suggest to ask for help from government, not your own and your family.
To begin with, we need know, asking for help can do harm to you and your family more or less. Keeping good relation with family is for sake of family bounds for us. Everyone should shoulder the responsibility of life for himself. If you constantly have recourse to you family, such as borrowing money, you will broke your relationship sooner or later. Moreover, this sense will prevent you to be a independent person.as a result ,you will not only fail to succeed, but also loose the mutual respects with your family. in my experience, I was profoundly understanding this truth. Or to say, it is one lesson for me. I have taken care of my younger brother for many years.I subsidized his college and often helped him to find a good job. Consequently, he got a common sense that I always give him infinite help. He was more and more lazy; whenever and wherever possible to ask for help. One day, i came to realize my mistake and refuse to offer any help. From then on, he began to hate me. for him, this experience is also suffering. he lost trust and respect from his family and harm to his growth up.
In other hand, just addressing everything by yourself is not the better measure too. Some achievements can not be reached lacking others help,e.g. Buying a house, establishing a company, paying the exorbitant price of MBA tuition etc. Rely on yourself? You surely loose the best opportunity for your life.we should not be tied down by the traditions of past. Only appeal to government, could you fulfill your dream.
Finally, except the concerning mentioned above, relying on government has other important macro significance.for example, loan from government was to incite the citizen’s demand, hence, flourish the nation’s economy. For the same token, government offering help to citizens also is to address the unemployment and develop Social Security, which are the representation of democratic and progressive of government.
In conclusion, asking help form government,but not family or yourself is the best way to resolve you problem.
作者: echosun2002 时间: 2014-9-27 09:22
In our lives,we frequently confront poverty, illness,and suffering.when we are forced to in those predicament, from who you expect to acquire the supports? Some are inclined to seek help from government; some believe the only person can be relied on is himself; and, another anchor their hopes on their family.in my opinion, I suggest (to ask) asking for help from government, not your own and（or,不是A，也不是B，应该是not A or B） your family.
To begin with, we need (to) know, asking for help can do harm to you and your family more or less. Keeping good relation with family is for (the)sake of family bounds for us. Everyone should shoulder the responsibility of life for himself. If you constantly have recourse to your family, such as borrowing money, you will (broke)break your relationship sooner or later. Moreover, this sense will prevent you (to)from being (be) (a)an independent person.as a result ,you will not only fail to succeed, but also (loose)lose the mutual respects with your family. in my experience, I was profoundly understanding this truth. Or to say, it is one lesson for me. I have taken care of my younger brother for many years.I subsidized his college and often helped him to find a good job. Consequently, he got a common sense that I always give him infinite help. He was more and more lazy; whenever and wherever possible to ask for help. One day, i came to realize my mistake and refuse to offer any help. From then on, he began to hate me. for him, this experience is also suffering. he lost trust and respect from his family and harm to his growth up.
In other hand, just addressing everything by yourself is not the better measure too. Some achievements can not be reached lacking others help,e.g. Buying a house, establishing a company, paying the exorbitant price of MBA tuition etc. Rely on yourself? You surely loose the best opportunity for your life.we should not be tied down by the traditions of past. Only appeal to government, could you fulfill your dream.第二段主要写光靠自己不行，最后一句写了一下只有求助政府才能实现梦想，论证不够充分。
Finally, except the concerning mentioned above, relying on government has other important macro significance(这个主题是要写出为什么不要向家人求助而是向政府求助，第一部分很丰满，但是向政府求助的益处着墨较少，最后这个写了依靠政府另外一点重要意义，但是没有看到前面一点重要意义。).for example, loan from government was to incite the citizen’s demand, hence, flourish the nation’s economy. For the same token, government offering help to citizens also is to address the unemployment and develop Social Security, which are the representation of democratic and progressive of government.
In conclusion, asking help form government,but not family or yourself is the best way to resolve you problem.
作者: 橙圆 时间: 2014-9-27 10:03
改好 姐姐平时写的时候可能没有注意标准和大小写这些小问题
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-27 11:04
echosun2002 发表于 2014-9-27 09:22
In our lives,we frequently confront poverty, illness,and suffering.when we are forced to in those p ...
谢谢亲 啊。后面我也感觉很不充分，主要源于时间限制和字数限制，实际考试写不到那么多。我再努力连连码字吧。。。
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-27 11:15
橙圆 发表于 2014-9-27 10:03
改好 姐姐平时写的时候可能没有注意标准和大小写这些小问题
first, even though the theory—the sound is used to call male and female by ocra whales, because this detected odd sound resemble the sound they attract a male in the research—sounds reasonable, professor points out that this theory is unwarranted. (这两句话不是很理解 第一句没有主句 如果第一句和第二句是一句 中间改成逗号？even though 后面that后面的从句也不是很理解 表语从句的话应该不加reasonable吧 加reasonable 应主语应该写成形式主语？)
这样改，好些了吧
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-27 11:29
橙圆 发表于 2014-9-27 10:03
改好 姐姐平时写的时候可能没有注意标准和大小写这些小问题
work as that fast and that silent(觉得这里as的用法也略奇怪啊 as..as ?).
这个是听力原文吧。as，像那么快又那么安静。。。
作者: echosun2002 时间: 2014-9-27 11:30
angla 发表于 2014-9-27 11:04
谢谢亲 啊。后面我也感觉很不充分，主要源于时间限制和字数限制，实际考试写不到那么多。我再努力连连码 ...
是的呢，我现在都超时。
作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-27 13:13
The reading passage describes a strange sound called quakers and puts forward the possible reasons for this sound. （概括改写得很精彩）However, in the listening, the professor thinks that the reasons in the reading passage are not convincing.
First, the professor thinks that the ocra theory put up in the reading passage is plausible but unreliable. Although there is an ocra population inhabits the areas, ocras always appear on the sea surface. The submarines are on the deep sea, so it is hardly for them to detect the sounds made by ocra. Furthermore, if the ocra is near the submarine, the sonar could detect it.
Second, the fact could not support the statement in the reading passage that sounds are caused by giant squid. The first report about quakers was published in 1960s and continued 2 decades. However, the reports disappeared on 1980s. If giant squid caused the noises, the report should have not discontinued.
Third, the professor uses another fact to repute the theory in the reading passage that the sounds are made by foreign submarines. On one hand, the submarine could not change direction in that speed. （稍微改变了原意）On the other hand, with current technology, no country could build a submarine with that high speed and silent engine. （改写得很精彩）
我个人觉得perfect，可以打5分！我贴到我自己贴子里，学习学习。。。。
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-27 20:45
9-24 独立 修改there is never a reason to be rude to another personPlease recall the the the plot of Princes Sisi,an elegant, gentle and vivid beautiful girl, has impressed many younger and is the dream lover(搭配不一致) of one generation. It is(我还以为是强调句) her graceful temperament(优雅的气质?) and polite manner win(三单) every one’s heart. However, nowadays, many young people lack of (建议查一下lack的用法 很容易用错)study about ritual(感觉用的不是很合适). In addition, the working stress makes people irritating(make sb + adj irritating:刺激的；气人的；使愤怒的) and the information technology lets people indifferent to social relation(不知道这样写好不好). Thus, people became(时态 不应该用过去式吧) rude to another, the courtesy fade(三单) away.but, actually ,there is no benefit to be rude to others.【是不是和题目的意思不太贴近？？？】
To start with, rude attitude will inevitably hinder the development of congenial relationship with others. As a result, loose many good chance of cooperation or promotion(主谓是？？？). My friend, Jenny is a typical example.she is skilled and bright. When coping with every project, she amplifies(动词用的不太好) her efforts to accomplish it. unfortunately, she only has one weakness—(破折号后面加名词吧 你前面就是名词)can’t control her emotion, that (is) to say, sometimes be rude to others, who including customers, peers, bosses.(句子有点冗长 没啥美感 It’s frequent (可以把friquently, 放在句首) to hear the criticism related to her. This shortcoming largely impede(三单) her promotion.（这一部分是最应该重点说的啊mm！！！） Furthermore, there is a proverb that Thousands miles river levee collapse in ants. Sometimes when（两个在一起真的好么） you do everything perfect but(前后词性不对称) a rude manner, eventually, you will lose all（YOU WILL LOSE EVENTUALLY）. To build （最好用build吧）up friendship necessitate(三单？) several years.oppositely, destroy one just need 1 minute.（这个可以不说 因为destroy的方面有很多 这里说的也不是很明白）
这一段的重点应该是蓝色的部分---你仅仅说了受到批评 以及阻碍升值。具体的过程 如何影响没有说。而且事情的影响也不够大，阻碍升值以后的后果你也没说。而且你不是想说人际关系么？怎么感觉像落到事业方面去了呢？？这一部分真的应该详细写的。你就写了两句话 也不可能说清楚吧。可以说的再具体点，还有后面的lose all “all”是指什么？？难道就是前面的两个么？？？ 最后还得点题 因为rude有些个缺点 所以rude对人际关系很不好 所以我们不应该rude！！！！
On the other hand,a rude manner will surely broke one’s personal image. Rude manner, i.e. loosing temper（不一定啊 还有骂人啊 不尊重老幼病残啊 动作粗鲁啊之类的 不一定只在这个方面吧~~说的有点狭隘 而且ie后面是动名词 也不太好吧） usually, unavoidable reveals a image of（加名词） superficial, ill breeding, illiteracy etc. Once those who are labeled with these characteristics, they are easily isolated by others（这是rude缺点）.（代词过多）all the people want to make friends with someone bringing about happiness,but（rather than合适吧） arguments.no one is an exception. Moreover, if the rude manner happens（不能主动happen吧 只能说是人展现出来） in public place, especially in foreign country, national spirit（说image更好） will be destruct. several days ago, two Korea quarrel（时态） with a Chines shop assistant and abuse them with dirty word. Soon afterwards, a news report present in mass media（被动 was exposed to the public）, （连词）the name of article is Rude Korea. （不能指代啊 指代前面也得有逗号吧....）Which seriously destroy the country’s image. （我觉得你的主题句可以直接写为：rude 影响个人形象&国家形象。更直接。最后总结 不能rude啊！点题）
Besides, rude manner also make（三单） us loose（lose） the ethic and traditional virtue. Specifically, China is a country with ancient civilization and ceremony. Those（离指代太远） are cultural heritage from our ancestors.we should inherit these culture essence. Keeping away from rude manner is essential. 反正是大实话 大道理 可以加一句 如果我们抛弃传统美德将会.....+一系列恶果 列举一下 充字
Based on all reasons offered above,rude manner totally harm to everything.there is never reason to rude to another. |
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-9-29 11:11
看到一篇文章 写的不错 有老外的批注 你可以瞄一眼
10
Thereis no reason to be impolite (rude) to another person. Use specific examples andreasons to sport your statement.
----------------------------------------------------------
Hi Karen, anotherexcellent essay. Only a few mistakes in verb tenses keeping you from perfectionon this one - I would rate it a 4.5 out of 5. Sorry for my delays, I have beenout of town and had limited computer access.
In the contemporary society,{here"society" means the world as a whole, not a particular society, so noarticle} interaction between people has become much more frequent than that inthe past. At the same time, as pressure arises from all aspects in people'slives, it does occur under certain circumstances that some individualscommunicate in a rude way to others. Behavior of that kind, unquestionably, isnot welcome and should be avoided[, without exception] .{I think you need to answerthe prompt a little more explicitly. Everyone would agree that rudeness is bad,but is it EVER ok to be rude?}
To begin with, being polite and respectful isnot only the first and foremost rule to obey in social behavior, but also theprerequisite of effective communication. You will surely lose the interest andmotivation for further communication if the person you speak to is rude. Thereis an old saying in my country that with a smile on the[your] face, you have grasped the success on[at] hand. Indeed, people who always show theirpoliteness and respect often get more opportunities from others, which,accordingly, lead[s ] to their success. For instance, interviewees that behav[e] in a polite manner are no doubt more likely to pass the interviews than thosewho do not.{avoid contractions}
In addition, rude behavior and disrespecttowards others can sometimes induce serious violence. There are numerousreports nowadays about how inappropriate speeches or behaviors between twostrangers have ultimately le[d ] to severe conflicts or even death. On theother hand, politeness and courtesy can usually help resolve the conflicts andfacilitate the development of mutual understanding. For example, when we happento step on another person’s feet unintentionally on a crowded bus, the bestsolution to solve the embarrassment and avoid trouble is a sincere apology.
Moreover, acting in a rude manner willjeopardize the impression one ma[kes] on others, which could lead to unpleasantresults. Indeed, behavior is a direct reflection of people's personalities andattitudes towards [their] lives.{or do you mean towards others' lives?}Actually, some of my friends told me how they felt disappointed about the dating [a date] because the one they met appear[red] to berude upon[to] {or "towards"} the restaurantwaiters.
In conclusion, politeness is a basic principlefor communication, as well as a fundamental quality for one to succeed. On thecontrary, offensive behavior will not only worsen the situation but also harmpeople’s social images, and therefore people should eliminate rude behaviorsfor their own good.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-10-6 18:03
loverony713 发表于 2014-9-29 11:11
看到一篇文章 写的不错 有老外的批注 你可以瞄一眼
10Thereis no reason to be impolite (rude) to another ...
哇，才看到。。。你真贴心！
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-10-6 18:22
angla 发表于 2014-10-6 18:03
哇，才看到。。。你真贴心！
哈哈 么么哒
作者: angla 时间: 2014-10-6 20:24
10.5日 TPO24
the reading passage investigates the issue— whether the materials in fossils are the tissues remains of the T.rex.the professor's lecture focus on the same topic. However, he insists that the identification of the research in the passage is doubtful. And in his lecture, he uses three specified points to buttress his viewpoint.
First of all, the professor points out that the channels inside the bone are probably not the location of blood vessels but the colonies of bacteria.even though the passage suggests that the finding of organic substance inside the channels possibly represent the remains of blood vessels, the professor argues that those organic materials can be the residuals of bacteria.this is because bacteria lived inside the bone and leave behind the trace of organic materials, which means the channels are the colonies of bacteria.
Moreover,the professor indicates that the spheres in the bone may not the remains of blood cells. despite the statement in the passage that the iron is a essential ingredient of blood cell, the professor asserts that the origin of the iron apparently is reddish mineral.he supports this point with the fact that some primate animals also have such kind of spheres while with no blood cells.in other words, the sphere with iron is not necessarily the blood cells.
Finally,the professor states that the collagen is likely from other resources not from the bone tissues. notwithstanding the fact in the passage that collagen is a component of living bone, the professor claims that the collagen in the bone has been 17 millions year old, which is contradict the fact that the collagen's longevity is only 10,000 years.according to this fact,the professor assume that the collagen probably originates from the researchers,whose skin also contain this component.that is to say the statement in the passage— the collagen is exactly the biochemical materials related to bone tissue is indefensible.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-10-6 23:31
People who have developed many different kinds of skills are more successful than people who focus on ony one skill.
As the development of the society, the competition is increasingly fierce. the demands of personal’s skills are diversified.the skills are not only essential to person’s career,but also influential to individual’s life.From my perspective, I totally agree with that people who have developed many different kinds of skill will be more successful than people who focus on only one skill.
To begin with,more skills guarantee more chance to succeed for career. The economy situation is unpredictable. as a result, all of us don’t know when we are possible to lose current job or whether our current profession can sustain to a lifelong. Gasping more skills can help us adapt the changing. My friend John is a typical example. He is a publisher, which is a sough-after occupation in 10year ago. However, nowadays, due to rapid development of the internet, he is difficult to make live. Fortunately, he is dept in programming, which he studied for second major in university. He change his career smoothly. Aside from this, people who have more skills also have advantage when apply the job. Companies always prefer to employ those who can give entrepreneur extra values, which can largely decrease the hiring cost.for example, a large number of companies intend to hire a person who expert in foreign language, no matter this position is belong to which department. for me, fortunately, i am skills in English and Japanese.usually I am easy to succeed to gain a job chance. Furthermore, having more skills inevitably become the most significant factor for success of the life. Many distinguished persons, such as Steve Jobs, Bill Clinton, Jack,Ma as so on , require to cope with many kinds of affairs. They need to know economy, politic, management etc. Only mastering many skills can they succeed in their career.
In addition, More skills help us succeed in our life. Everyone will be fond of versatile person.together with them, the life will not be boring. All the members of my family have their own special skills: my mother is good at cooking;my father is expert in play flute;my brother like the guitar; and I am a good singer. Every weekend, we get together and play the music.that is so wonderful. Moreover, gasping more skills will give us more chance to know more friends. One skill will bring us to one group of people. So, if you have many kinds of skills, you can know a large number of people and you can improve yourself by studying from different kind of people. I am a completely versatile person.therefore,i have many friends who are dancers, friends who enjoy singing, friends who are expert in medicine and pharmacy as so on. All of them have different merits,which are the objects i can learn from.
Needless to say,skills are so important to our lives and careers.gasping more skill is a good way to win the competition and the approach to succeed.
作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-10-8 11:19
angla 发表于 2014-10-6 23:31
People who have developed many different kinds of skills are more successful than people who focus o ...
People who have developed many different kinds of skills are more successful than people who focus on ony one skill.
As the development of the society, the competition is increasingly fierce. the demands of personal’s skills are diversified.the skills are not only essential to person’s career,but also influential to individual’s life.From my perspective, I totally agree with that people who have developed many different kinds of skill will be more successful than people who focus on only one skill.
To begin with,more skills guarantee more chance to succeed for career. The economy situation is unpredictable. as a result, all of us don’t know when we are possible to lose current job or whether our current profession can sustain to a lifelong. Gasping(拼写) more skills can help us adapt the changing. My friend John is a typical example. He is a publisher, which is a sough-after occupation（土鳖了这是what 还有说人是occupation不好吧？求普及） in 10year ago. However, nowadays, due to rapid development of the internet, he is difficult to make live. Fortunately, he is dept in(我查了一下 不知道是不是拼错了? 我知道你想表达的意思..) programming, which he studied for（as） second major in university. （加一个过渡词吧）He change（三单） his career smoothly.（结果可以再多说几句 亦或是对比论证 ：如果不..就不会..） Aside from this, people who have more skills also have advantage when apply the job. Companies always prefer to employ those who can give （provide？）entrepreneur extra values, which can largely decrease the hiring cost.for example, a large number of companies intend to hire a person who expert（三单） in foreign language, no matter this position is belong to which department（论述的不太好 我觉得应该说 除了本身专业外 如果有另一门外语锦上添花就好了）. for me, fortunately, i am skills in English and Japanese.usually I am easy to succeed to gain a job chance. Furthermore, having more skills inevitably become（不应该用become 可以说是is a critical factor之类的） the most significant factor for success of the life. Many distinguished persons, such as Steve Jobs, Bill Clinton, Jack,Ma as so on , require to cope with many kinds of affairs. They need to know economy, politic, management etc. Only mastering many skills can they succeed in their career.（还是不够具体... 不过前面说了那么多了 这里罗列一下也还行...)
In addition, More skills help us succeed in our life. (其实很难说生活中success是什么样，家庭和谐？朋友很多？我觉得你可以侧重写一下你的个人魅力 生活中的 读完有感^^) Everyone will be fond of versatile person.together with them, the life will not be boring. All the members of my family have their own special skills: my mother is good at cooking;my father is expert in play flute;my brother like the guitar; and I am a good singer. Every weekend, we get together and play the music.that is so wonderful. Moreover, gasping more skills will give us more chance to know more friends. One skill will bring us to one group of people. So, if you have many kinds of skills, you can know a large number of people and you can improve yourself by studying from different kind of people. I am a completely versatile person.therefore,i have many friends who are dancers, friends who enjoy singing, friends who are expert in medicine and pharmacy as so on. All of them have different merits,which are the objects i can learn from.（你的重点应该是 你的versatile如何让你在生活成功的 感觉这句话没有表达你想说的意思）
Needless to say,skills are so important to our lives and careers.gasping more skill is a good way to win the competition and the approach to succeed.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-10-12 20:28
TPO18
the reading passage suggests three solution to resolve the decline of the Torreya tree in the Florida. the professor in the conversation argues the same issue. However, opposite the statements of the passage, the professor thinks that these three solutions are completely unsatisfactory.
firstly,although the passage presents the solution that reestablish Torreya in the same location, because the climate in the northern part of Florida is wet and cool, which is suitable for the growth of the Torreya, the professor point out that the first solution is useless. Since the climate of the northern Florida is easily to be affected by the climate surrounding the area, such as the global warming, which will make the climate in this area drier and warmer. that is to say, the suitable climates will not be same as we expected.
secondly,the professor give a similar example of black locust tree to explain that the second solution is also can't be accepted. even though the passage gives the evidence that moving the Torreya to the totally difference place, where the temperature is cooler and Torreya can thrive in this environment. unfortunately, the passage omit the outcome of introducing a new species to a location. the professor quote the experience about the black locust tree, which is moved to a new location, kill a lot of local trees.this solution is not good for the survival of other important species which is declining.
finally, the professor deny the practical possibility of the third solution. admittedly, as the statement in the passage,the research center can protect the Torreya temporarily.nevertheless,the trees in the research center are vulnerable to disease.the research center have no enough capacity for the large and diverse population.the tree can not be protected for a long-term.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-10-12 21:59
10.11
Which way would you like to take to improve your health?
A eat more healty food
B do more excercise
C reduce stress
Human’s health affect the longevity of the life. People who chase healthy life style are increasing.many ways can obtain the object of improve health, such as eating more healthy food, doing more exercises and reducing stress. All of them are the effective method to keep health. But form my perspective, I think that doing more exercise is the most beneficial means to improve health.
To begin with, doing exercise can help us improve the function of the heart-lung system, which is the most significant for our health and longevity. Every time, when people do exercise, the heart will beat quickly, and the lung will breath deeply. In this process, the capability of heart and lung will be enhanced. Many researches show that people usually do exercise will have less possibility to suffer the heart and lung disease.especially, for the old people, who are vulnerable for those kinds of diseases. Moreover, the health situation can be wholly improved.for instance, doing exercise regularly can help people control the weight, as a result, reduce the incidence of some disease caused by obesity. Obesity is the essential issue for people nowadays. It is obesity that cause the high cholesterol, hypertension,hyperglycemia. These three-high are the most important death causes for older people.doing more exercise will reduce the possibility of obesity. Hence, keep a healthy body.
In addition, doing exercise can help us an enjoy the process of improving the health, as a result, has effects for a long-term. To keep health, all the people face the difficulty of persistence. Majority of people will give up in the midway. Therefore, the persisting to keep health need a driving force. Some people doing exercise are due to perfect body figure, some are due to like that sports, and other are due to making friends,etc. People doing exercise to keep fit will not feel boring. For me, doing exercise is totally the most important way to keep fit. I usually go to swim and dance, because they are so interesting. They not only make me fit, but also give me much happy time with my friends and help me to be attractive person. I really enjoy it, so I persist to swim and dance every week for more than 6 years. In those exercising days, I has improved my health unconsciously.
Admittedly, many other way also can benefit health. More and more people concern with the health food, another word to say—green food,which has less pesticide or has less calorie.this method is a good way to reduce the accumulation of toxin. However, it has less effect to improve health. Similarly,even though reducing stress is essential for our health and can reduce the incidence of some mental disease, it still is not the most effective way to improve health. In conclusion,doing exercise, in my view, is the best way to improve health among these three ways.
作者: zyr220 时间: 2014-10-12 22:18
angla 发表于 2014-10-12 20:28
TPO18
the reading passage suggests three solution to resolve the decline of the Torreya tree in the ...
10.11 独立
the readingpassage suggests three solutions to resolve the decline of the Torreya tree inthe Florida. the professor in the conversation argues the same issue. However,opposite the statements of the passage, the professor thinks that these threesolutions are completely unsatisfactory.
firstly, although the passage presents the solutionthat reestablish Torreya in the same location, because the climate in thenorthern part of Florida is wet and cool, which (where) is suitable for the growth of the Torreya,the professor points out that the first solution is useless. Sincethe climate of the northern Florida is easily to be affected by the climatesurrounding the area, such as the global warming, which will make the climatein this area drier and warmer. that is to say, the suitable climates will notbe same as we expected.
secondly, the professor gives a similar example of black locust tree toexplain that the second solution is also can't be accepted. even though thepassage gives the evidence that moving the Torreya to the totally differenceplace, where the temperature is cooler and Torreya can thrive in thisenvironment.
(开头是even though是连词，然后跟一个where从句，感觉缺了主句，and两边的成分感觉差别有点大，没法成为一个并列的结构。能不能改成：
Even though the author of the passage gives theevidence that Torreya can be moved to a totally difference place, where thetemperature is cooler, and that the tree can thrive in the new environment, heomits the outcome of introducing a new species to a location.
Where 从句非限定修饰place，the tree 指代Torreya，这样改了两边平行比较好看，读着个人感觉顺一点。但是这样改了还是缺主句，觉得可以把后面一句直接加进来，两句话主语一样都是passage，但是前面后面都用有点重复，不知道用啥替换好，用it的话可能会指代tree而混乱，所以索性把前面的passage换成the author of passage，后面用he。仅供参考) Unfortunately, the passage omits theoutcome of introducing a new species to a location. （这句就合并到前面了）Theprofessor quotes the experience about the black locust tree,which is moved to a new location, kill a lot of local trees (感觉可以替换成native plants). （The professor quotes theexperience about the transplant of black locust tree, which is moved to a newlocation and killed a lot of local trees. 个人意见，随便改改，不喜勿怪啊。。。）Thus, thissolution is not good for the survival of other important species which isdeclining.
finally, the professor deny the practicalpossibility of the third solution. admittedly, as the statement in the passage,the research center can protect the Torreya temporarily. nevertheless, thetrees in the research center are vulnerable to disease. the research centerhave no (not) enough capacity for the large anddiverse population. the tree can not be protected for a long-term.
作者: zyr220 时间: 2014-10-12 23:15
10.11 独立
Whichway would you like to take to improve your health?
A eatmore healty food
B domore excercise
Creduce stress
Human’shealth affects thelongevity of the life. People who chase healthy life style are increasing. many ways can obtain the objectof improve health(many ways 是个方法不能得到结果，逻辑不对吧，得到结果的应该是人吧？能不能改成 Peoplecan achieve a goal of improve health in may ways, such as…), such as eating more healthy food, doing moreexercises and reducing stress. All of them are the effective method to keephealth. But form (from) my perspective, I think that doing moreexercise is the most beneficial means to improve health.
To beginwith, doing exercise can help us improve the function of the heart-lung system,which is the most significant (形容词后加一个名词system吧) for our health and longevity. Every time, whenpeople do exercise, the heart will beat quickly, and the lung will breathdeeply. In this process, the capability of heart and lung will be enhanced.Many researches show that people usually do exercise will have less possibilityto suffer the heart and lung disease (改成个对比句Many researches show that the more exerciseyou do, the less possibility of heart and lung disease you will have稍微工整一点). Especially,for the old people, who are vulnerable for those kinds of diseases. (姐姐，这句没主句，我随便加个主句哈：Doing exercise isimportant, especially for the old people, who are vulnerable for those kinds ofdisease.) Moreover, the health situation can be wholly improved. forinstance, doing exercise regularly can help people control the weight, as aresult, reduce the incidence of some disease caused by obesity. Obesity is theessential issue for people nowadays. It is obesity that cause the highcholesterol, hypertension, (and) hyperglycemia. These three-high are the mostimportant death causes for older people. doing more exercise will reduce thepossibility of obesity. Hence, keep a healthy body.
Inaddition, doing exercise can help us an enjoy the process of improving thehealth, as a result, has effects for a long-term. To keep health, all thepeople face the difficulty of persistence. Majority of people will give up inthe midway. Therefore, the persisting to keep health need a driving force. Somepeople doing exercise are due to (be due to搭配是错的，改成用because they want to have perfect吧) perfect bodyfigure, some are due to like that sports, and other are due to makingfriends,etc. People doing exercise to keep fit will not feel boring. For me,doing exercise is totally the most important way to keep fit. I usually go toswim and dance, because they are so interesting. They not only make me fit, butalso give me much happy time with my friends and help me to be attractiveperson(姐姐，not only …but also … 两个并列挺好的，后面再加一个and 并列确实没见过). I really enjoy it,（it 无指代） so I persist to swim and dance every week formore than 6 years. In those exercising days, I has improved myhealth unconsciously. (I has 错，应该是I have)
Admittedly,many other ways alsocan benefit health. More and more people concern with the health food, anotherword to say—green food, which has less pesticide or has less calorie. thismethod is a good way to reduce the accumulation of toxin. However, it has lesseffect to improve health. Similarly, even though reducing stress is essentialfor our health and can reduce the incidence of some mental disease, it still isnot the most effective way to improve health. In conclusion, doing exercise, inmy view, is the best way to improve health among these three ways.
作者: angla 时间: 2014-10-12 23:25
zyr220 发表于 2014-10-12 22:18
10.11 独立
the readingpassage suggests three solutions to resolve the decline of the Torreya tree ...
谢谢帅哥，好感动啊。都改完了。我估计要明天才能给你改了。真是抱歉啊。。。今天的活现在还没有干完
作者: zyr220 时间: 2014-10-12 23:31
angla 发表于 2014-10-12 23:25
谢谢帅哥，好感动啊。都改完了。我估计要明天才能给你改了。真是抱歉啊。。。今天的活现在还没有干完 ...
木事，哈哈，注意休息哈。
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