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标题: daisy的写作楼 [打印本页]

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-8-10 20:06
标题: daisy的写作楼
914一战综合good 独立fair 24分

二战还在艰苦的刷考位中。。。但是作文要每天练起来！要求不高求二战上25就好~

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-8-10 20:09
810占座综合tpo1 独立 modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-8-11 06:53
综合 TPO 1
Reading material illustrated the advantages of offering employees four workweek with 80 percent salaries from three aspects. However, the lecture generally listed three arguments one by one to make the points in the reading passage doubtful.

Firstly, on the contrary to the reading material that four days workweek option would increase company’s profits, the lecture claimed that four days workweek option might instead increase company’s costs. Offering workers four days workweek required company to hire more employees on account of ensuring the same amount of work would be done. A lot more money, including hiring costs, training fees and medical fees, would be spent if company add more employees. Moreover, the company should spend much more money in enlarging its office space and increasing office utilities.

Second, reading made a point that this option would increase labor demand, thus the unemployment rate of the whole society would fall. The lecture disputed this point by stating that although workers could reduce the workweek from five days to four days, their work loads might not be reduced by the demand of company. Company might inforce the workers to do as same work loads in five work days as in four days. So, the workers could be required to do the same work but just earned 80 percent of salaries of the former and the labor demand would not change due to this option.

Last but not the least, the reading stated that one more day off provided workers more time with families and enjoy their interests. However, the lecture raise the issue that four days work for a worker might be risky. The lecture assumed that company would still prefer normally managers who work five days to ensure everything is in charge. That is to say, workers who work only four days might lose advancement chances in their career life and promotion opportunities, or even get fired in priority when the company is in trouble.

Words：327
先掐时间写只写了250+ 然后自己改了下就感觉超字数了。。。

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-8-11 21:17
独立Modern society has become more complex,so it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

As the rapid development of economic and technology, people nowadays get involved in a more complex society, which includes explosive information, intertwined social relationship and multitasks. Compared to the ancient people who have not many accesses to the outer world, people today, especially young people, are facing the world more directly and also communicating with others frequently. Under this circumstances, I believe, like so many successful CEOs do, planning and organizing abilities will help young people to fit in the modern society.

First of all, ability to plan and organize can save people's time and energy to digest a lot more informations from emails, mobile phones or other colleagues. Thousands pieces of news and messages swarm into our mailboxes, mobile phones everyday. Will we be drown into the information ocean and waste great of time in it? At this time, ability to organize and classify the information enable us to focus on the real significant information and to obtain valid information efficiently. A uncle of mine is a HR in a multinational company. He emphasizes the ability to organize the information of employees, because he thinks that a well-organized employee can achieve more workload during the same time and the ability to save time and energy are valuable to a company. That is to say, the ability to plan and organize is also an edge for young people to compete in modern companies.

Secondly, modern society that always put young people in a multitask environment requires young people to be well-planned and well-organized. People in modern society have more social roles. A employee in a company may also is a student in the nearby college. Not like ancient people who just need to hunt and feed themself, young people nowadays have to study in various field or work for live at the same time to adapt complex modern society. People under such pressure will be put in a chaos and hurry condition except he or she have rational plans in advance. A partner in our group, for example, is working at the ETS organization while she is also a student in college and is preparing a exam at the same time. She not only finished her job very well at the work but also achieved the tasks for her exam preparation everyday. At first I thought that this is a impossible multitask for everyone, then after I read about her everyday plan, everything makes sense. She makes rational and detailed plan everyday, which lists every task and the time that every task should takes. What she does everyday is follow the plan and check the task one by one. Plan makes multitask organized and easy done.

Last but not least, when facing complex relationship network, young people nowadays have to plan their time to meet different people and organize their network to make the most use of their relationship. Social networking become more and more essential for young people, and the more people you link, the more good opportunity you gain . For instance, almost every website of first-level college in the United State has a catalog called alumni, who had finished their study and started new career life. Plan to contact alumni and obtain valuable information can be a big step for every young people.

In conclusion, in this complex society, planning and organizing skills are primary to young people.

Word:560

作者: 橙圆 时间: 2014-8-12 17:55
改好啦~~

作者: 小蘑菇开始打怪 时间: 2014-8-12 23:16
综合 TPO 1
Reading material illustrated the advantages of offering employees four workweek with 80 percent salaries from three aspects. However, the lecture generally listed three arguments one by one to make the points in the reading passage doubtful.

Firstly, on the contrary to the reading material that four days workweek option would increase company’s profits, the lecture claimed that four days workweek option might instead increase company’s costs. Offering workers four days workweek required company to hire more employees on account of ensuring the same amount of work would be done. A lot more money, including hiring costs, training fees and medical fees, would be spent if company add more employees. Moreover, the company should spend much more money in enlarging its office space and increasing office utilities.

Second, reading made a point that this option would increase labor demand, thus the unemployment rate of the whole society would fall. The lecture disputed this point by stating that although workers could reduce the workweek from five days to four days, their work loads might not be reduced by the demand of company. Company might inforce (enforece?) the workers to do as same work loads in five work days as in four days. So, the workers could be required to do the same work but just earned 80 percent of salaries of the former and the labor demand would not change due to this option.（我听到的意思大概是：the company will ask their employees to finish the same amount of work within four workdays. sometimes employees may need to do overtime job to meet the expectation of the company.)

Last but not the least, the reading stated that one more day off provided workers more time with families and enjoy their interests. However, the lecture raise the issue that four days work for a worker might be risky. The lecture assumed that company would still prefer normally managers who work five days to ensure everything is in charge. That is to say, workers who work only four days might lose advancement chances in their career life and promotion opportunities, or even get fired in priority when the company is in trouble.

我只听了听力部分，还原的还是很好的~格式不错~
写得很好~！

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-8-15 06:03

橙圆发表于 2014-8-12 17:55
改好啦~~

真是太太太感谢！！！

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-8-15 06:07

小蘑菇开始打怪发表于 2014-8-12 23:16
综合 TPO 1
Reading material illustrated the advantages of offering employees four workweek with 80 p ...

感谢蘑菇！感觉综合比独立是好写一些哈

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-8-15 22:20
占座【20140815】
独立 Modern agriculture method damage the environment, but providing food for the growing population around the world is more important than protecting the environment.

When it comes to modern agriculture method, some people hold the views that it damage the environment in some degree, so it should not be supported. However, others, including me, argued that modern agriculture method could not be replaced because maintaining the demand of growing population is way more important than protecting the environment.

Food is essential for human beings to live. And we must admit that modern agriculture provide us a more efficient way to produce food. In some part of world, such as some countries in Africa, are not use modern agriculture method to produce food and thousands of people died there because of hunger. So if we abandon modern agriculture to protect environment, a number of people may suffer from starvation, which is a really bad signal for human development. Imagine that where there is people died of hunger, who cares about environment?

Moreover, compared to environment, food has more direct influence to people. Everybody need to eat everyday, but the environmental damage which caused by modern agriculture method is too subtle to influence people’s life. Modern agriculture may causes the soil lose nutritions and takes place the area where were used to plant trees. But take a glance at the history of human development, that is the pattern how human beings survive and develop. Only when we ensure the food supply for people, we stop and protect environment. We must make food as a priority.

Sacrificing food supply to protect our environment is just putting the cart before the house. And we do have many other methods to protect environment. Reducing car uses is an alternative example. When I travel to York, a city of England, I saw model bikes in different colors were put on the both sides of road to encourage people to ride bike instead of to drive cars. With less car uses, we can breathe more clear air without abandoning modern agriculture method. Modern agriculture method and environment protection are not mutually exclusively alternatives that can not be exist at the same time.

Protecting environment is significant, but we should first use modern agriculture method that supplies enough food for growing population all over the world to ensure that there have people full and energetic to protect environment.

words:378
字数好像少了点，但希望结构上有些改善

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-8-17 05:28
占座【20140816】
独立：政府应该在医疗保障还是环境治理上花费更多精力

There is a widespread debate about which should government spend more energy and money on, medical care or environmental conservation. Considering limited energy and budget that government has, some of our citizens hope our government to attribute more to the medical care system, which is not very mature at the present. However, from a long-term perspective, others, including me, place environmental conservation in advance position for following reasons.

Admittedly, medical care is urgently needed because people are getting more and more vulnerable against diseases and some rarely diseases have emerged. But within the advanced development of medical technology and method, why there are still the same amount of or even more patients in the hospital waiting to be cured? The answer is: because environmental deterioration. Environmental deterioration, such as air pollution, makes people more easily to develop diseases, such as cardiopulmonary. A famous professor in Fudan University, for example, died of cancer. In her late life, she recalled that the environment she lived were seriously air polluted. And her doctor said that air pollution around the place she lives is one of major cause of cancer. So, just spending more energy and financial support on medical care is not enough. Concentrating on environmental improvement is the radical way for government to improve people’s life quality. Otherwise, medical care need will like a black hole, absorbing endless energy and money.

Moreover, environmental conservation influences wider range of people. A certain amount of money and time spent on environmental improvement may effect whole community people via improve their live environment. However, the same amount of money and time used for improving medical care system may only change a minority of people’s life. As everyone is born equal, government should do more things cared about the whole community instead of several patients. This is the same principle as parents always meet all children’s need and then consider each single child’s requirement.

Both medical care improvement and environmental conservation are essential for our people. But owing to the reasons I mentioned above, concentrating more on the environmental conservation is a wiser choice for our government.

word：359
字数越来越少了。。。之前忘记看时间写得好匆忙，写到后面实在憋不粗了TAT

作者: 橙圆 时间: 2014-8-17 17:18
么么~改好~

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-8-17 21:03

橙圆发表于 2014-8-17 17:18
么么~改好~

么么谢谢橙子~

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-8-18 00:54
修改810
独立Modern society has become more complex,so it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

As the rapid development of economic and technology, people nowadays get involved in a more complex society, which includes explosive information, intertwined social relationship and multitasks. Compared to the ancient people who have little accesses to the outer world, people today, especially young people, are facing the world more directly and also communicating with others frequently. Under this circumstance, I believe, like so many successful CEOs do, planning and organizing abilities will help young people to fit in the modern society.

First of all, ability to plan and organize can save people's time and energy to digest a lot more information. Facing thousands pieces of news and messages swarm into our mailboxes and mobile phones everyday, will we be drown into the information ocean and waste great of time in it? At this time, the ability to organize and classify the information enables us to focus on the real significant information and to obtain valid information efficiently. An uncle of mine is a HR in a multinational company. He emphasizes the ability to organize the information of employees, because he thinks that a well-organized employee can achieve more workload during the same time and that the ability to save time and energy are valuable to a company. That is to say, the ability to plan and organize is also an edge for young people to compete in modern companies.

Secondly, modern society that always put young people in a multitask environment requires young people to be well-planned and well-organized. People in modern society have more social roles. An employee in a company may also be a student in nearby college. Not like ancient people who just need to hunt and feed themselves, young people nowadays have to study in various field or work for live at the same time to adapt to complex modern society. People under such pressure will be put in a chao and in hurry condition except that he or she have rational plans in advance. A partner in our group, for example, is working at the ETS organization while she is also a student in college and is preparing an exam at the same time. She not only finished her job very well at the work but also achieved the tasks for her exam preparation everyday. At first I thought that nobody can accomplishes this kind of multitask, then after I read about her everyday plan, everything makes sense. She makes rational and detailed plan everyday, which lists every task and the time that every task should takes. What she does everyday is follow the plan and check the task one by one. Plan makes multitask organized and easy to be done.

Last but not least, when facing complex relationship network, young people nowadays have to plan their time to meet different people and organize their network to make the most use of their relationship. Social networking become more and more essential for young people, and the more people we link, the more good opportunity we gain . For instance, almost every website of first-level college in the United State has a catalog called alumni, who had finished their study and started new career life. Because statistical data that record the future career development of students showed that more than 80 percent of student found their first job via the introduction of their alumni. So, plan to contact alumni and obtain valuable information can be a big step for every young people.

When taking into account all the reasons I mentioned above, we can firmly believed the conclusion that in this complex society, planning and organizing skills are primary to young people.

作者: 橙圆 时间: 2014-8-18 21:33
我是一只勤奋的编辑橙

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-8-19 03:26
818 独立Although a lot of people know the environmental situation (such as global warming etc), the present situation is unlikely to change in the future.

As more and more people have to breathe polluted air or bear extreme weather condition, environmental deterioration has drawn more and more people's attention and worries. Advertisements concerned about environmental protection have emerged on TV or publicity board. Although negative voice says people's awareness won't change the present environment situation, other people, including me, held the belief that as more and more people recognize environmental crisis, environment situation will definitely change.

Firstly, awarenesses decide behaviors. Once people learn about present unpleasant environmental situation, they will do some subtle but meaningful things, such as stoping running water and keeping air conditioner off as far as possible, to ameliorate our environmental condition. Take my father as an example. After he watched a documentary about global warming, he never turns on air conditioner under 35 celsius and also forbids me to do that. And every little changes do will make differences for our environment.

What is more important is that a lot of people knowing about our environmental situation urge government to make regulations for protecting environment. As a responsible government, meeting most of citizens interests is primary duty. In my hometown, there was a factory producing paper, thus pouring a lot of pollution water into our mother river. When citizens recognized that the river was too contaminated to maintain daily need, they pushed the government to shut down the paper-producing factory. And once after shutting down the factory, the condition of the river becomes better. So, people's awarenesses push government to make a change, thus changing the environmental situation.

Last but not least, the process of improving environmental condition caused by people's awarenesses is not fast, but time is the best medicine. We should be patient and faithful to believe changes do happen and the future environment will be better. In 19th century, United Kingdom suffered from serious environmental problem- smog and haze. However, after decades of years, in present UK, blue and clear sky shows everyday. People's awarenesses and government's regulation undoubtedly are main reasons for the this great environmental improvement. Changes just take time.

Owing to all reasons mentioned above, we can safely make a conclusion that people's awarenesses concerned about present environmental situation will make the environmental condition different in the future. What we need is more patience and faith.

在火车上写的，之前写的那篇还莫名其妙不见了TAT 错误肯定很多先在这跪谢等叔费心了！

作者: MrWaiting 时间: 2014-8-19 13:42
8.18改，见附件，daisy有时间看看吧

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-8-19 17:18

橙圆发表于 2014-8-18 21:33
我是一只勤奋的编辑橙

感谢勤劳的橙子

注意身体~

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-8-19 17:50

MrWaiting 发表于 2014-8-19 13:42
8.18改，见附件，daisy有时间看看吧

谢谢等叔！改的好详细

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-8-19 17:50
修改 815独立
Modern agriculture method damage the environment, but providing food for the growing population around the world is more important than protecting the environment.

When it comes to modern agriculture method, some people held the views that it damages the environment in some degree, so it should not be supported. However, others, including me, argue that modern agriculture method could not be replaced because maintaining growing population is way more important than protecting the environment.

Food is essential for human beings to live. And we must admit that modern agriculture provides us a more efficient way to produce food. In some part of the world, such as some countries in Africa, does not use modern agriculture method to produce food, and thousands of people died of hunger. So if we abandon modern agriculture to protect environment, a number of people may suffer from starvation, which is a really bad signal for human development. Imagine that when people died of hunger, who cares about environment?

Moreover, compared to environment, food has more direct influence to people. Everybody needs to eat everyday, but the environmental damage that caused by modern agriculture method is too subtle to influence people’s life. Modern agriculture may causes the soil lose nutrition and takes place the area where were used to plant trees. But the history of human development shows the pattern how human being survives and develops. Only when we ensure the food supply for people, could we stop reclaiming soil for agriculture and protect environment. We should make food as a priority.

Sacrificing food supply to protect our environment is just putting the cart before the house. And we do have many other methods to protect environment. Reducing car uses is an alternative example. When I travel to York, a city of England, I saw model bikes in different colors were put on the both sides of road to encourage people to ride bikes instead of to drive cars. With less car uses, we can breathe more clear air without abandoning modern agriculture method. Modern agriculture method and environment protection are not mutually exclusively alternatives that cannot be exist at the same time.

Protecting environment is significant, but we should use modern agriculture method that supplies enough food for growing population all over the world first to ensure that there are full and energetic people to protect environment.

Maintain a family
Died of 死于
三单形式注意
Nutrition不可数
(only when 开头主句倒装， could we stop..)

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-8-19 17:52
816修改政府应该在医疗保障还是环境治理上花费更多精力

There is a widespread debate about which should government spend more energy and money on-medical care or environmental conservation. Considering limited energy and budget that government has, some of our citizens hope that our government to attribute more to the medical care system, which is not very mature at the present. However, from a long-term perspective, others, including me, place environmental conservation in advance position for following reasons.

Admittedly, medical care is urgently needed because people are getting more and more vulnerable against diseases and some rarely diseases have emerged. But with the advanced development of medical technology and method, why there are still the same amount of or even more patients in the hospital waiting to be cured? Because environmental deterioration. Environmental deterioration, such as air pollution, makes people more easily to develop diseases, such as cardiopulmonary. A famous professor in Fudan University, for example, died of cancer. In her late life, she recalled that the environment she lived were seriously air polluted. And her doctor said that air pollution around the place she lives is one of the major causes of cancer. So, just spending more energy or giving financial support on medical care is not enough. Concentrating on environmental improvement is the radical way for government to improve people’s life quality. Otherwise, the need of medical care will like a black hole, sucking endless energy and money.

Moreover, environmental conservation influences wider range of people. A certain amount of money and time spent on environmental improvement may affect whole community people via improve their living environment. However, the same amount of money and time used for improving medical care system may only change a minority of people’s life. As everyone is born equal, government should do more things about the whole community instead of about several patients. This is the same principle as Parents always consider each single child’s requirement only after they have met all children’s need.

Both medical care improvement and environmental conservation are essential for our people. But owing to the reasons I mentioned above, concentrating more on the environmental conservation is a wiser choice for our government.

表达不是特别顺畅，用词不恰当，中式表达比较多

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-8-19 17:53
818修改

As more and more people have to breathe polluted air or bear extreme weather condition, environmental deterioration has drawn an increasing number of people's attention and worries. Advertisements concerned about environmental protection have emerged on TV or publicity board. Although negative voice says people's awareness won't change the present environment situation, other people, including me, held the belief that as more and more people recognize environmental crisis, environment situation will definitely change.

Firstly, awareness decides behaviors. Once people learn about present unpleasant environmental situation, they will do some subtle but meaningful things, such as stopping running water and keeping air conditioner off as far as possible, to ameliorate our environmental condition. Take my father as an example. After he watched a documentary about global warming, he would never turn on air conditioner under 35 celsius and also forbid me to do that. And every little changes do make differences for our environment.

What is more important is that a lot of people knowing about our environmental situation will urge government to make regulations for environmental protection. As a responsible government, meeting most of citizens’ interests is a primary duty. In my hometown, there was a factory producing paper, thus pouring a lot of polluted water into our mother river. When citizens recognized that the river was too contaminated to maintain daily need, they pushed the government to shut down the paper-producing factory. And once after the factory was shut down, the condition of the river started to become better. So, people's awareness pushes government to make a change, thus changing the environmental situation.

Last but not the least, the process of improving environmental condition caused by people's awareness is not fast, but time is the best cure. We should be patient and faithful to believe changes do happen and the future environment will be better. In 19th century, United Kingdom suffered from serious environmental problem- smog and haze. However, after decades, in present UK, blue and clear sky shows every day. People's awareness and government's regulation undoubtedly are main reasons for this great environmental improvement. Changes just take time.

Owing to all reasons mentioned above, we can safely make a conclusion that people's awareness concerned about present environmental situation will make the environmental condition better in the future. What we need is more patience and faith.

Awareness是不可数名词
More and more people = an increasing number of people
单复数形式要注意词性要注意
当从句主语与主句一样时，才能省略主语用ing形式
Regulation for 后加名词结构
句式单一

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-8-20 19:39

819如果你的朋友在某门课需要帮忙，而你是这门课的牛人。问你认为你朋友找你帮忙好还是找专门的tutor帮忙比较好？

Somebody say people born with unfairness - genetically. Admittedly, under the same circumstance, few people seem instinctively more proficient than others in specific field. But in most of time, that is just because everyone has edge on different subject. And we can make use of it, like a old saying goes, by learning from others’merits to complement our disadvantages. So I think when my friend need some help on some specific subject that I am good at, my friend can ask for my help instead of finding other specialized tutor.

Firstly, as friends, we know about each other deeply and can understand each other easier. Compared to a specialized tutor, I am more familiar with my friend. I know which class he or she may drop and why he or she confused about the lecture. I also aware of how he or she can understand a problem easily. Last semester, my roommate and best friend were so busy for her part time job that she could not manage her accounting class very well. When facing the final exam, she felt anxious and worried a lot. After I recognized her problem, I gave her my notes and made a exclusive plan for her exam preparation. Every time she had a question, I could crack it for her quickly. Luckily, she got a good grade for her final exam and she told me that she really learned a lot during the final preparation. If it not me, she might have to waste some time, communicating with a tutor and trying to explain why she did not understand that easy question.

The second benefit is that friends always hang out together, so we need not to make a reservation in advance. A call or a short message can settle all things down. Moreover, generally, I don’t mind to change my schedule for my friend. However, when it comes to tutor, it is a different story. A friend of mine who major in biology is studying in American. Unfortunately, he did not get used to the new environment at the first beginning and he did not do very well on his biochemical class. He tried to contact a tutor of this class, but it was too hard to pick a day that available for both of them. Things turned out that he could not finally communicate with his tutor face to face until the day before the final exam. With no doubt, he had a tough semester without help from friend.

What is most important is that if I am good at a specific subject, helping my friend out would be a wonderful thing that not only do my friend a favor but also make myself a sense of accomplishment, thus improving our friendship. Although I can’t receive salary like a tutor, helping my friend out give me more than some financial return. I feel like I am a valuable person who are useful to my friend. Since I have knew my roommate got a good grade, I went out dinner with my roommate to celebrate it. We all knew that during these time, our relationship becomes more close.

Owing to all benefits I have mentioned above, it is naturally to make a conclusion that when my friend meet some trouble on a specific subject that I am good at, asking for my help instead of find another specialized tutor is a more wiser choice for he or she.

作者: 橙圆 时间: 2014-8-21 15:05
么么哒~进步大大的~

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-8-21 17:06

橙圆发表于 2014-8-21 15:05
么么哒~进步大大的~

谢谢勤劳的橙子！没你这么细心的改我也不会有进步啦

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-8-22 22:38
820 如果每年上课11个月以上，学生会得到更有效的教育

There is a widespread discussion about how long students should be attended to school. Some voices held the view that if students were required to attend school for more than eleven months a year, they would get better education. However, other people, including me, argue that long school time would not improve the educational quality for sure for several reasons.

Firstly, schools are not the only place that students can study. Students need more time to spend outside the school and traditional classes. Outside the school, students can attend to other public groups where people with same interests gather to gain knowledge and even valuable experiences. A classmate of mine attended a group that aimed to organize volunteer from all over the world to help homeless children in Africa. As a volunteer, my classmate brought homeless children some necessaries and books, taught the children Chinese lesson and made lots of friends who were also volunteers from all over the world. During the whole process, he not only learned how to be a good teacher, but also grab the skill to communicate with people from different backgrounds and countries. All these skills are not involved in the school classes. If we have to go to school 11 months a year, then we could not have enough extra time to do something that more practical. Learning only from school are not good for student to develop varies aspects abilities.

Moreover, long time lasting education does not mean high quality education. On the contrary, too many school days may discourage students, thus reducing their interest of studying. As we all know, the quality of education in the United States is pretty high, and students from all over the world came to US to pursue higher quality educational. But the duration of US education is short in some extent. In the US, the master degree of accounting generally takes only one year, however, in China, it requires two to three years. Too long school days make students protracted and inefficient. Students usually can’t help but thinking there are much time wait for them. Take myself as an example, I am always work more efficient when I have limited time.

Owing to all the reasons I have mentioned above, it is safe to make a conclusion that 11 months or more school days would not improve the educational quality, not to mention let students obtain more efficient education.

这两天见高中同学玩断片了。。。
写得好不走心。。。

作者: 橙圆 时间: 2014-8-24 14:04
么么哒不知道你已经写啦我还在恍惚神游跪求原谅

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-1 08:57

橙圆发表于 2014-8-24 14:04
么么哒不知道你已经写啦我还在恍惚神游跪求原谅

感谢！！我今天才彻底回到正轨过几天就考试了TAT

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-1 09:25
820 修改
There is a widespread discussion about how long students should attend to school. Some voices held the view that if students were required to attend school for more than eleven months a year, they would get better education. However, other people, including me, argue that long school time would not improve the educational quality for sure for several reasons.

Firstly, schools are not the only place that students can study. Students need more time to spend outside the school and traditional classes （橙子你说这里词性不同不能并列，但我这里原意是并列school和classes可以吗？). Outside the school, students can attend to other public groups where people with same interests gather to gain knowledge and even valuable experience. A classmate of mine attended a group that aimed to organize volunteer from all over the world to help homeless children in Africa. As a volunteer, my classmate brought homeless children some necessaries and books, taught the children Chinese lesson and made lots of friends who were also volunteers from all over the world. During the whole process, he not only learned how to be a good teacher, but also (grabbed) the skill to communicate with people from different backgrounds and countries. All these skills are not involved in the school classes. If we have to go to school 11 months a year, then we could not have enough extra time to do something that is more practical. Learning only from school (is) not good for student to develop various aspects abilities.

Moreover, long time lasting education does not mean high quality education. On the contrary, long school days may discourage students, thus reducing their interest of studying. As we all know, High education quality in the United States attracts students from all over the world to come for higher quality education But the duration of US education is short to some extent. In the US, the master degree of accounting generally takes only one year, however, in China, it requires two to three years. Long school days make students protracted and inefficient. Students usually can’t help thinking there is much time wait for them. Take myself as an example, I am always work more efficient when I have limited time.

Owing to all the reasons I have mentioned above, it is safe to make a conclusion that 11 months or more school days would not improve the educational quality, not to mention let students obtain more efficient education.

Experience不可数！！！
To some extent
只有cannot help but do（只能做...）和cannot help doing（情不自禁做...）
没有cannot help but doing的用法
Protracted拖延的

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-1 17:54
9.1 独立 you can know a lot about a person through the types of friends this person has.

There is a saying goes,you can never judge a book by its cover and you can't judge a person by his or her appeal. But I really held the belief that through the types of friends of a person, you can somehow tell what kind of person this man is.

Generally, people with common interests will naturally get together and become friends. It is no doubt that only when two people has the same interest, can they have a pleasure conversation. Or embarrassing situation will happen. When I first came to my university, I was terrified because I did not familiar with anyone in this university. And I could not have pleasure and easy conversation with my roommates --- they did not fond of outside door activities at all, but I was a big fan of traveling. After I joined in a traveling club and bicycle club, I felt like I came home. I could easily talk to anyone in the club for hours without noticing time went by. So if a person, like me, has a group of friend who are crazy about traveling, we can easily presume that this guy is also favor of traveling.

Moreover, friends share the same values. A kind person can not bear a friend who are selfish and mean. If this two kind of people come together, a intense fight and a break up are unavoidable. My father told me that when he was young, he had a roommate who showed little respect for their teachers. He could not help keeping distance with this roommate. Because in my father's eyes, teachers are the most gracious people and deserved to be respected. Friends are like mirrors reflecting the person who you are.

What is the most important is that almost everybody in this world will be influenced by the people around him or her. "People around you can change the person who you are" is definitely a truth. I know it because I am a person who are changed by my friends. In junior school, I was afriad to talk to other people, including classmates and teachers. Like sunshine in my life, two friends of mine hold my hands and helped me defeat my fear of talking to people. Until now, I still feeling appreciated that my friends changed my characteristic. Hence, people who hang out together are familiar in some way.

By and large, we can not judge a person through the types of friend this person has, but owing to the reasons I mentioned above, I do think we can know more about a person by understanding his or her friends.

作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-1 23:08
There is a saying goes,you can never judge a book by its cover and you can't judge a person by his or her appeal. But I really held the belief that through the types of friends of a person, you can somehow tell what kind of person this man is.（前面指代用的his or her，这里用this man，表达不太平行，不好意思，可能有点GMAT思维，是不是this man省略了语法也是正确的啊）

Generally, people with common interests will naturally get together and become friends. It is no doubt that only when two people has the same interest, can they have a pleasure conversation. （华丽的倒装句，赞一下）Or （or作为否则的意思来用，是不是也不如otherwise更准确无歧义呢？）embarrassing situation will happen. When I first came to my university, I was terrified because I did not familiar with anyone in this university. And I could not have pleasure and easy conversation with my roommates --- they did not fond of （语法有误，fond是形容词，be fond of）outside door activities at all, but I was a big fan of traveling. After I joined in a traveling club and bicycle club, I felt like I came（come用词不当。表达像回家的感觉一样一般都是like going home。I feel like i do这句式也有点奇怪，供参考） home. I could easily talk to anyone in the club for hours without noticing time went by. So if a person, like me, has a group of friend （+s）who are crazy about traveling, we can easily presume that this guy is also favor of traveling.
（表达了朋友有共同爱好，生动描述了自己的喜好，但事例在用于说明好朋友都会有共同的interest的观点上稍显薄弱）

Moreover, friends share the same values.（这句的动词share用的很精彩） A kind person can not bear a friend who are （is）selfish and mean. If this two kind （有歧义）of people come together, a intense fight and a break up are unavoidable.（华丽的形容词，赞） My father told me that when he was young, he had a roommate who showed little respect for their teachers. He could not help keeping distance with this roommate. Because in my father's eyes, teachers are the most gracious people and deserved to be respected. （这里如果再点题，father远离他是因为value不同，不能成为朋友，就更好了）Friends are like mirrors reflecting the person who you are.（优美的句子，赞）

What is the most important is that almost everybody in this world will be influenced by the people around him or her. "People around you can change the person who you are" is definitely a truth. I know it because（句式不好） I am a person who are changed by my friends. In junior school, I was afriad to talk to other people, including classmates and teachers. Like sunshine in my life, （状语前置，优美高级的句式）two friends of mine hold my hands and helped me defeat my fear of talking to people. Until now, I still feeling （现在时漏be）appreciated that my friends changed my characteristic. （句子逻辑不太对。Appreciate的对象你的句子是感谢朋友改变你的性格这件事。但如果改为appreciated my friend who changed my character。就是感谢朋友这个人，然后这个人做了什么。后者逻辑更好）Hence, people who hang out together are familiar in some way.

By and large, we can not judge a person through the types of friend this person has, but owing to the reasons I mentioned above, I do think we can know more about a person by understanding his or her friends.

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-3 19:52
9.2综合

The article believes that the subject of a untitled painting is Jane Austen for three reasons. However, the lecture seriously doubts it by lists also three arguments one by one.

Firstly, the reading material illustrates that decades after Austen's death, Austen's family agreed that the girl in the portrait is Jane Austen . Nevertheless, the lecture points the problem of this reason by claiming the fact that these family members could not barely have seen Jane in person since Jane died 70 years ago. So the her family's endorsement is unconvincing.

Secondly, the author of the passage argues that the eyebrows, nose, mouth and the whole face in the portrait resembles the sketch which depicts Jane Austen. The lecturer demonstrates how that is not the case. The subject of the painting could possibly be Jane's relative who is resembles to her. Some experts even insist that the subject is a distance niece of Jane Austen.

The last lecturer's challenge to the argument in the article is about the stamp on the back of the canvas. The stamp indicates that the portrait was painted at least 27 years after Jane Austen's birth, suggesting that the subject of the painting was much older than Jane. So the style of the painting which relates Jane's teenager period may be just a coincidence.

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-3 19:59
9.2 独立 being creative， rather than carefully planning, is more often results in better solution.

Somebody naturally are more creative than others, and there is a widespread discuss about whether this kind of people are easier to be successful and to result in better situation. Some voices say that people with creativity are definitely more possible to produce better result. However, other people, including me, think that carefully planning sometimes is more important.

Without well planning, creativity means nothing. Creativity can bring about some original ideas which may have huge positive influence on people's life, but lack of carefully planning makes the wonderful ideas unable to come true. Everybody knows that Newton is a great people with creativity. He found the gravity discipline through an apple dropping at his head. But a large proportion of people doesn't pay enough attention to the countless experiments and tests he did after he first thought up the idea about gravity discipline. What lead to the final testify of gravity are these great amount of experiments and tests, and it was well planned skills made this significant conclusion came true.

What's more, not every vocation or occupation need creativity but every job requires employee to possess well planning ability. Like accounting, it requires employee stick to the regular procedure and do the exact same thing every time. Creativity is unfortunately undesired. What can be the most impressive example is myself. Last summer, I worked in a accounting firm as an internship accountant. What I needed to do was followed the fixed regulation, writing receipt. Unfortunately, I switched the sequence of two steps of the procedure, thinking that would be more efficient. My manager really pissed off at that time and shout at me that our accountant could not change the whole procedure, even a little! Or there would be a disaster. At that time, I knew better than anyone that creativity is not always a good characteristic.

Being creative is nice but not enough. Owing to the all aspects I have mentioned above, it is more fair to say that being creative is not always more likely to result in better solution and carefully planning instead is a quality that necessary to everyone.

今天两篇字数都很少。。。有点写作文无能了怎么办TAT

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-3 22:29
9.1 独立修改
There is a saying goes, you can never judge a book by its cover and you can't judge a person by his or her appeal. But I really held the belief that through the types of friends of a person, you can somehow tell what kind of person a man is.

Generally, people with common interests will naturally get together and become friends. It is no doubt that only when two people has the same interest, can they have a pleasure conversation. Otherwise embarrassing situation will happen. When I first came to my university, I was terrified because I did not familiar with anyone in this university. And I could not have pleasure and easy conversation with my roommates --- they were not fond of outside door activities at all, but I was a big fan of traveling. After I joined in a traveling club and bicycle club, I felt like I was in home. I could easily talk to anyone in the club for hours without noticing time went by. So if a person, like me, has a group of friends who are crazy about traveling, we can easily presume that this guy is also favor of traveling.

Moreover, friends share the same values. A kind person can not bear a friend who is selfish and mean. If kind people and selfish people come together, a intense fight and a break up are unavoidable. My father told me that when he was young, he had a roommate who showed little respect for their teachers. He could not help keeping distance with this roommate. Because in my father's eyes, teachers are the most gracious people and deserved to be respected. It is different values that drift my father and his roommate away, making them can’t be friends. Friends are like mirrors reflecting the person who you are.

What is the most important is that almost everybody in this world will be influenced by the people around him or her. "People around you can change the person who you are" is definitely a truth. I am a person who are changed by my friends. In junior school, I was afraid to talk to other people, including classmates and teachers. Like sunshine in my life, two friends of mine hold my hands and helped me defeat my fear of talking to people. Until now, I am still feeling appreciated my friends who changed my character. Hence, people who hang out together are familiar in some way.

By and large, we can not judge a person through the types of friend this person has, but owing to the reasons I mentioned above, I do think we can know more about a person by understanding his or her friends.

作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-3 22:41
不好意思啊。刚刚没网了，所以今天给你改晚了

稍等，呆会传上来

作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-3 23:26
The article believes that the subject of a untitled painting is Jane Austen for three reasons. However, the lecture seriously doubts it by lists (语法错误listing)also three arguments one by one.（three argument 含义略有不妥evidence可能更好）

Firstly（据有几本写作书说美国人不喜欢用这个词，常用frist）, the reading material illustrates that decades after Austen's death, Austen's family agreed that the girl in the portrait is Jane Austen . Nevertheless, the lecture points the problem of this reason（这个表达感觉有点awkward） by claiming the fact that these family members could not barely have seen Jane in person since Jane died 70 years ago. So the（笔误） her family's endorsement is unconvincing.

Secondly, the author of the passage argues that the eyebrows, nose, mouth and the whole face in the portrait resembles（复数） the sketch which depicts Jane Austen. The lecturer demonstrates how that is not the case. The subject of the painting could possibly be Jane's relative who is resembles to her. Some experts even insist that the subject is a distance niece of Jane Austen.

The last（，） lecturer's challenge to the argument in the article is about the stamp on the back of the canvas. The stamp indicates that the portrait was painted at least 27 years after Jane Austen's birth, suggesting that the subject of the painting was much older than Jane. So the style of the painting which relates Jane's teenager period may be just a coincidence. （这段的理由貌似和原文不符）

作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-4 01:24
不好意思啊，还是在word里面改了

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-4 20:15
9.3 独立
Do you agree or disagree? The best way for a teacher to let students become interested in a subject is to help them know how to use it in lives outside schools

As students nowadays have more and more convenient accesses to obtain interesting news and knowledge by themselves, a widespread discussion about that what methods can enable teachers under current circumstance attract students’ attention and provoke their interests has raised. Many methods have been proposed. But among all this method, I agree that enabling students to know how to use knowledge in lives outside school is the best solution.

Firstly, showing students the use of a subject outside school help students grasp knowledge more quickly. And the quicker to master a subject, the more achievability students will gain. As we all know, the sense of achievement makes students more likely to interested in the subject. I have two friends who started to learned how to drive at the same time, but they had two totally different results. Mary met a coach who taught her theory about car, engine and equipment for two months without letting her even touched the car in person. With no doubt, the long and tedious lecture soon made Mary lose her interest in driving, thus she gave up continuing this learning process. On the contrary, Paul had a teacher who let him drive the first day he started to learn. His teacher taught him how engine works while let him start the engine. Only a month later, Paul not only feel excited about driving but also become a excellent driver. I really believe that it is Paul’s teacher showing him how theory works in real life that shorten the learning period and make Paul interested in learning.

In addition, knowing a subject is useful makes students more willing to learn. Everyone needs a motivation when study a specific subject. And use of a subject is absolutely an encouraging impetus for students to study. When I first learned geography in junior school, to be honest, I hated this subjects. I felt like that knowing the how tall a mountain is or how big another country is are totally useless for me. So I gave up learning geography in my high school. However, as I grown up, I realized that geography knowledge can helps me do my traveling plan, lets me understand why the sky of United Kingdom doesn’t get dark until 10 p.m. in summer when I live there, and even enables me to predict weather condition. At that time, I feel geography is the most interesting and amazing subject among all the subject I have ever learned because I find the real use of the subject in life.

All in all, I definitely support that the best methods to make students become interested in subject is letting students know the use of the subject in lives. Since this way not only save students time to learn but also give students motivations to learn.

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-4 21:53

angla 发表于 2014-9-4 01:24
不好意思啊，还是在word里面改了

谢谢姐姐！

作者: 橙圆 时间: 2014-9-4 22:09
改好啦啦啦啦前方高能预警！

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-4 23:21

橙圆发表于 2014-9-4 22:09
改好啦啦啦啦前方高能预警！

查了下有 provoke one's interest这个用法
谢谢橙子，每次这么细心给我找小错误，真的好感动。这篇卡时间写的又没有检查，老是那些错误我也真是醉了

修改
As students nowadays have more and more convenient accesses to interesting news and knowledge by themselves, there is a widespread discussion about methods that helps teachers attract students’ attention and provoke their interests under current circumstance.Many methods have been proposed. But among all these method , I agree that enabling students to know how to use knowledge in lives outside school is the best solution.

Firstly, showing students the use of a subject outside school helps students grasp knowledge more quickly. And the quicker to master a subject, the more achievability students will gain. As we all know, the sense of achievement makes students more likely to be interested in the subject. I have two friends who started to learned how to drive at the same time, but they had two totally different results. Mary met a coach who taught her theory about car, engine and equipment for two months without letting her even touched the car in person. With no doubt, the long and tedious lecture soon made Mary lost her interest in driving, and thus she gave up continuing this learning process. On the contrary, Paul had a teacher who let him drive the first day he started to learn. His teacher taught him how engine works while let him start the engine. Only a month later, Paul not only felt excited about driving but also become an excellent driver. I really believe that it is Paul’s teacher showing him how theory works in real life that shorten the learning period and make Paul interested in learning.

In addition, that knowing a subject is useful makes students more willing to learn. Everyone needs a motivation when study a specific subject. And use of a subject is absolutely an encouraging impetus for students to study. When I first learned geography in junior school, to be honest, I hated this subject. I felt like that knowing how tall a mountain is or how big another country is is(is or连接就近原则) totally useless for me. So I gave up learning geography in my high school. However, as I grown up, I realized that geography knowledge can help me do my traveling plan, let me understand why the sky of United Kingdom doesn’t get dark until 10 p.m. in summer when I live there, and even enable me to predict weather condition. At that time, I felt geography was the most interesting and amazing subject among all subjects I have ever learned because I found the real use of the subject in life.

All in all, I definitely support that the best methods to make students become interested in subject is letting students know the use of the subject in lives. Since this way not only save students time to learn but also give students motivations to learn.

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-5 19:59
9.4 综合
While the reading material lists three reasons to support that salvage logging is a good way of dealing with aftermath of forest fires, the professor in lecture disagrees at all and thinks that salvage logging will cause more serious and longer problem.

First, as the writer of the material argues that salvage logging removing the dead tree makes space for fresh growth and avoids the problem that the dead trees will take long time to decompose. However, the lecture points out that clearing up all dead tree from forest doesn't create a right resolution. Because dead trees decompose in the forest, producing soil nutrient which will enrich the forest's soil and offer a better environment for future generation tree to grow.

Secondly, the author of the article states that decaying wood provides spruce bark beetles, which damage healthy spruce trees, a superexcellent environment to live. So removing these decaying wood may be a good idea. The lecture illustrates that this point is not comprehensive. Since rotting wood is also a suitable place for bird and other good insect to live and the amount of spruce bark beetles have never caused any big disaster, decaying wood will not be a real problem.

Last but not the least, the economic benefits mentioned in the reading material is small and temperary according to the lecture for two reasons. The first reason is that salvage logging requires professional equipment such as helicopter, which is expensive. Another reason is that workers need in salvage logging is in short time. And the workers at local may not be hired because experienced workers are the person who are needed in salvage logging.

作者: mygirlzini 时间: 2014-9-6 11:40

daisy333 发表于 2014-9-5 19:59
9.4 综合
While the reading material lists three reasons to support that salvage logging is a good wa ...

个人观点,仅供参考

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-8 17:33
0908综合

In the writing, three methods have been raised to improve the decline of Torreya. However, the professor claims that all these three ways are unlikely to solve the problem.

First, the writing suggests that to reestablish Torreya in the same location, where are Torreya used to be found in abundance. The professor disputes this method, stating that as the influence of the global warming, the climate in the original location where used to be cool and wet, has became drier. Therefore the same location is not suitable for the growth of Torreya anymore.

The professor continues to discredit the writing's second method by arguing that relocate Torreya to an totally different location may cause serious chain damage to the whole environment system. The professor raises an example of another kind of tree which has been moved to a totally different environment. The sudden arrival of this new kind of tree kills many other endangered species that used to live there. So the second methods may cause an unpredictable disastrous consequence.

The professor's third argument is that the writing's third method is not practicable either. Preserving Torreya in research centers are not able to keep Torreya from diseases. Since the population of the Torreya in the nature environment is big, the research centers can't offer an environment for Torreya to resist virus, so the Torreya won't live long in research centers.

In summary, all the above-mentioned reasons of the lecture illustrate that the professor disagree with the three methods raised in the reading passage.

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-8 22:14
0907 综合

As the writing lists three reasons to persuade us that the number of birds in the United States will definitely decline. The professor, however, claims that all these three reasons are unconvincing.

First, the professor admits that human populations and settlements will continue to expand, which mentioned by the reading passage, but the professor states that urban development will not reduce bird's habitat but offer better and larger habitats for some kind of birds, such as pigeons and rodents. For example, pigeons, rodents and other kind of birds can live in the street or on the landfill in city. So the result is the population of some kind of bird will eventually increase.

The professor continues to discredit the writing's assertion that increasing agricultural activities will result in the destruction of bird habitats. Although the professor agrees that the agricultural activities will increase, the way the agriculture development is not like the writing's presume but to produce more productive crops while using less agricultural areas. So the bird habitats won't be influenced at all.

Last, the professor contradicts the view of the writer that the increasing use of chemical pesticides will contribute to the continuous decline of the number of birds. The professor points out that as the people have awareness that chemical pesticides are harmful to most of animals, they find two ways to improve this problem. One is using new less toxic pesticides, and the other is growing pest resistance crops.

作者: angla 时间: 2014-9-8 23:46
抱歉啊，好晚才改完。。。。

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-29 19:11
929 家里网总算能稳定点了回归小分队每天练习作文！一战写作24 独立是fair TAT 要求不高只求下次一定要上25！

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-9-30 17:48
929独立让孩子自己做决定更好

As every child is the apple of parents' eyes, issues involved with children never fails to attract people's attention. That should parents let children make decisions on their own is always a hot topic among daily conversation. Some people who seems more open-minded believe that letting children choose for themselves show fully respect to children, thus should be encouraged. However, other people, including me, hold different opinion that letting children take responsible for themselves all the time may not be as ideal as it seems.

First, lacking of knowledge and experience becomes a unavoidable factor that makes youth unable to make right decision. Compared to adults, children generally are less experienced and more naive. Then still too young to form a reasonable outlooks on the world, life and values and make rational decision. Every child nearby us can be a good illustration. Little children always incline to choose colorful food or fast food. However, us adults know that most of colorful food and fast food contain food additives, which are unhealthy for people, especially for children. If there is not parents who regulate their children's eating habits, forcing their children to eat more vegetables and fruits, children may choose fried chicken or pizzas every single meal and become overweight. What's more, children cannot discern potential danger as well as adults. For example, my neighbor, a 13-year-old girl, was planning to meet her net friend in another city. Thanks to her mother, who came to know her bold plan by chance and prevented her from meeting a totally stranger, she was not able to meet her net friend at the last. And not that surprise, her so called net friend is to be found a fraud who tricked young girls specially several months later. Without adults' supervision or suggestion, young children may make stupid decisions.

Second, allowing children do whatever they want may result really bad consequences. When an unreasonable request be satisfied, children are likely to ask more and think everything they want to do is permitted. A girl who is a big fan of Liu Dehua attended almost every concert of her idol, no matter how expensive the tickets prices are; followed his footstep to many different cities, no matter how far the cities are away from her hometown. To our surprise, she lived in an ordinary family and her father makes every effort to satisfy her luxury requirements. But the girl doesn't feel grateful at all but ask her father for more money to chase her idol. She even forced her father to sell blood to get money! How unbelievable it is! If her parents didn't let herself make excessive decision, this scene may not happen.

All in all, with the reasons I mentioned above, I do think that letting children always make decisions on their own is not a good idea. Proper advices from family members and friends are necessary.

作者: 橙圆 时间: 2014-9-30 21:15
改好么么哒

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-10-1 22:19
写完才发现写错题目了。。。哭先把10.1的贴上来等会就补9.30的

10.1
Do you agree with the statement that the opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important for the young than they are to the older people?

Recently Emma Watson, the famous movie star who acted in movie Harry Potter, gave a speech about feminism in the United Nation. Not only was her speech infectious but also she looked so gorgeous that many of my friends reposted the video on social network. I think that is so called celebrity effect. Some people believe that the opinions of celebrities have equal effect on both youth and older people; however, I hold different point that celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, play more significant roles on effecting younger people.

First, as older people generally already formed a comparably more fixed concept of life, youth are easily impacted by others. Youth can't determinedly choose what they really want. Maybe when they see a TV drama about doctors saving patients’ lives, they will think doctors are heroes and they want to be doctors in the future. However, after coming back from a Rock & Roll concert, they change their mind to be cool Rock singers. Take myself as a vivid example. I choose accounting as my major when I entered university. However, after I saw the Emma's speech, I take a serious consideration that I should choose to be a scholar focusing on feminism research. I really impressed by Emma and be touched by her speech. I really think there should be more people to stand out to support the idea that men and women shall be equal. When I told my mom about my thought, I knew the same story would not happen when it comes to my mom. She already has a successful career and doesn't want to make any change. The opinion of celebrities mean nothing to her and actually she hardly care about celebrities.

What's more, people generally incline to trust who are older than themself. A 20-year-old guy may take advises from a 25-year-old senior, thinking 25-year-old guy is more experienced than himself. Needless to say, people like my parents, who are now nearly 50 years old, will definitely reluctant to accept suggestions from 25 years old guy. And majority of celebrities, especially entertainers or athletes, are at comparable young ages. To youth, celebrities are elders who are full of experience and really successful in specific area. So the opinion of celebrities is so meaningful to them. On the contrary, older people may regard celebrities as the younger generation and their successes are not that big deal. As a result, celebrities opinions seem weigh less to them. That’s why the advertisements targeting older people seldom invite celebrities to get involved. Celebrities’ opinions are not important to them.

As the reason I mentioned above, it is safe to make a conclusion that the points of view of celebrities are significant to younger people than to older people.

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-10-2 09:39
930
Do you agree with that government should support the scientific research even there's no practical use.

With the rapid development of science and technology, people nowadays enjoy an increasingly convenience and efficient life. Thanks to the great amount of scientific researches, which make everything is impossible. We can see the faces and hear the voices of family members through a smart phone application, no matter if we are in different states or even in different countries. We all appreciate these genius scientific creativities. However, when it comes to impractical scientific researches, people hold different views. From my perspective, I don’t think scientific research with no practical use should be supported by government.

First, the energy and financial support of government is limited, thus should be used for more practical scientific research, which can improve people’s life quality directly. Focusing on medical care researches is a better option. In China, there are still a great number of people died because of diseases, no mention in other poorer countries. Putting limited energy and financial support on medical researches enables us human to find out more effective cures for many types of diseases. Hence, more valuable lives can be saved. Compared to lives, nothing is more important. Scientific researches contributing on environmental protection is also a good alternative. The environmental problems have become severe. People who live in Beijing can’t see blue sky for months, who live in Shanghai can hardly drink pure water and who live in small islands are worried about losing their home in future decades. Finding out ways to purify atmosphere, water or to deal with greenhouse gas is more urging than figuring out if there is alien in our planet.

Moreover, government supporting scientific researches with practical use shows fairly respect to every citizen. Our citizens pay taxes, which should be used for our citizens in return. The government budget derived from citizens, and most of citizens really don’t care about some abstract impractical researches. Instead, citizens care more about food security and health care system. Thus, supporting impractical researches with much financial support instead of supporting more practical researches concerned about commonweal will arouse anger and disappointment of a part of citizens.

Admittedly, some impractical researches are equally important and they may be the preparations of the future practical researches. But only after fulfilling the financial support of practical researches, can impractical researches be discussed. Since, we should make the most use of limited government supportive.

Generally speaking, scientific researches with no practical use are not our current consideration, and what we should do now is concentrating on practical researches, including medical researches or environmental protection researches. Only in this way, can our society be stabilized and prospering.

一到关于government就写不粗。。。TAT 昨晚写到一半睡着了。。。。。。

作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-10-2 21:40

daisy333 发表于 2014-10-2 09:39
930
Do you agree with that government should support the scientific research even there's no practic ...

930
Do you agree with that government should support the scientific research even there's no practical use.

With the rapid development of science and technology, people nowadays enjoy an increasingly convenience and efficient life. Thanks to the great amount of scientific researches, which make everything is impossible（impossible?）. We can see the faces and hear the voices of family members through a smart phone application, no matter if we are in different states or even in different countries. We all appreciate these genius（名词天才的意思） scientific creativities. However, when it comes to impractical scientific researches, people hold different views. From my perspective, I don’t think scientific research with no practical use should be supported by government.

First, the energy and financial support of government is limited, thus （最好加主语）should be used for more practical scientific research, which can improve people’s life quality directly. Focusing on medical care researches（不晓得这样对不对） is a better option. In China, there are still a great number of people died because of diseases, no mention（not to mention？） in other poorer countries.（这个类比不太好吧.....） Putting limited energy and financial support on medical researches enables us human to find out more effective cures （treatment？）for many types of diseases. Hence, more valuable lives can be saved. Compared to lives, nothing is more important. Scientific researches contributing on environmental protection is also a good alternative. The environmental problems have become severe. People who live in Beijing can’t see blue sky for months, who live in Shanghai can hardly drink pure water and who live in small islands are worried about losing their home in future decades. Finding out ways to purify atmosphere, water or to deal with greenhouse gas is more urging than figuring out if there is alien in our planet.（这一段写的就这点还扣题....1 no practical use不仅仅是发现是否有外星人 2 你本段的中心句是因为政府的钱有限所以要投资有实际用途的科学研究。你至少得写出有关钱的方面吧 3科学研究似乎不包括医疗和环保吧。。在这里应该说的是高科技方面的东东）

Moreover, government supporting scientific researches with practical use shows fairly respect to every citizen.（题目问的是没有实际用途的科学研究，你这说有实际用途的，不好感觉有些跑题） Our citizens pay taxes, which should be used for our citizens in return. The government budget derived from citizens, and most of citizens really don’t care about some abstract impractical researches. Instead, citizens care more about food security and health care system.（感觉不冲突啊难道研究没有实际用途的科学研究就不能保证食品健康了么？？？） Thus, supporting impractical researches with much financial support instead of supporting more practical researches concerned about commonweal will arouse anger and disappointment of a part of citizens. （这个结果有些不切实际。。）

Admittedly, some impractical researches are equally important and they may be the preparations （prerequisite）of the future practical researches. But only after fulfilling the financial support of practical researches,（详细说） can impractical researches be discussed. Since, we should make the most use（最大化利用应该不是这样说吧） of limited government supportive. （反你的自我反驳很无力。。）

Generally speaking, scientific researches with no practical use are not our current consideration, and what we should do now is concentrating on practical researches, including medical researches or environmental protection researches. Only in this way, can our society be stabilized（stable） and prospering.

作者: daisy333 时间: 2014-10-2 23:17

loverony713 发表于 2014-10-2 21:40

因为昨天先看了你写的，觉得论点都很完善了，就想作死写下另一个方面。。。结果就是论点都好牵强我再好好改改哈谢谢亲啦！

作者: loverony713 时间: 2014-10-3 00:09

daisy333 发表于 2014-10-1 22:19
写完才发现写错题目了。。。哭先把10.1的贴上来等会就补9.30的

10.1

Do you agree with the statement that the opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important for the young than they are to the older people?

Recently Emma Watson, the famous movie star who acted in movie Harry Potter, gave a speech about feminism in the United Nation. Not only was her speech infectious （adj. 传染的；传染性的；易传染的）but also she looked so gorgeous that many of my friends reposted（？拼错了） the video on social network. I think that is so called celebrity effect. Some people believe that the opinions of celebrities have equal effect on both youth and older people; however, I hold different point that celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, play more significant roles on effecting younger people.

First, as older people generally already formed a comparably more fixed concept（固定的观念不太好吧？） of life, youth are easily impacted by others. Youth can't determinedly（adv. 决然地；断然地） choose what they really want. Maybe when they see a TV drama about doctors saving patients’ lives, they will think doctors are heroes and they want to be doctors in the future. However（不是转折吧）, after coming back from a Rock & Roll concert, they change their mind to be cool Rock singers. Take myself as a vivid example. I choose accounting as my major when I entered university. However, after I saw the Emma's speech, I take（时态） a serious consideration that I should choose to be a scholar focusing on feminism research（似乎不是一个专业而且有点诡异）. I （was）really impressed by Emma and be touched by her speech. I really think there should be more people to stand out to support the idea that men and women shall be equal. When I told my mom about my thought, I knew the same story would not happen when it comes to my mom.（解释一下 why） She already has a successful career and doesn't want to make any change.（这个理由和你想说的女权想法没啥关系） The opinion of celebrities mean（三单） nothing to her and actually she hardly care about celebrities.（划线部分需要斟酌一下解释清楚到底是为啥old people就不会产生这样的想法。你的理由不是很支持哦）

What's more, people generally incline to trust who are older than themself.（咦主题句应该和明星观点相关吧最好说的明确一些~） A 20-year-old guy may take advises from a 25-year-old senior, thinking 25-year-old guy is more experienced than himself. Needless to say, people like my parents, who are now nearly 50 years old, will definitely reluctant to accept suggestions from 25 years old guy. And majority of celebrities, especially entertainers or athletes, are at comparable young ages.（不一定吧,,,,比如成龙大哥我觉得这个点不是很有力） To youth, celebrities are elders who are full of experience and really successful in specific area. （也不一定你像那个啥EXO 估计比很多考G的人都小.....）So the opinion of celebrities is so meaningful to them. On the contrary, older people may regard celebrities as the younger generation and their successes are not that big deal（是不是big deal是客观的我觉得和是否被别人认为没有啥关系）. As a result, celebrities opinions seem weigh less（这样对么？） to them. That’s why the advertisements targeting older people seldom invite celebrities to get involved（你这个也有点站不住脚我就能举出一堆反例....）. Celebrities’ opinions are not important to them.
这个论点有关年龄方面我觉得需要改进能找出的反例比较多也就是可攻击的漏洞比较多。。。

As the reason I mentioned above, it is safe to make a conclusion that the points of view of celebrities are significant to younger people than to older people.

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