ChaseDream

标题: eleven 作文贴么么哒成长吧！~ [打印本页]

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-8 12:03
标题: eleven 作文贴么么哒成长吧！~
好久木写作文了多多指教~

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-9 12:18
tpo25
The lecture points out the explanation that clay jars were acient elctric bateeries is unreasonable. However, the professor totally disagrees with this idea by following reasons:

To start with, professor points out no conductors such as metal wires had been found may because the local people ,not the archaeologists, found the vessel ,so there is a possibility that the local people are not able to regonize the important of those conductors and they might overlook those things and throw them away.

what's more, the reading material says that the copper cyliders were used for holding scrolls. However, professor point out even though the original function of copper cylider is indeed to hold scroll, as time goes by , the vessel may adapt to another purpose such as batteries.

Additionally, the writer thinks the clay jars as betteries would have been totally no use to acient people because there is no devices that depend on electricity. On contrast, speaker says when vessel filled with liquids, it could produce some electric shock which could be used for healing some ailment such as vibrating the muscle.

作者: xhbhxhbh 时间: 2014-6-9 19:35

elleven806 发表于 2014-6-9 12:18
tpo25
The lecture points out the explanation that clay jars were acient elctric bateeries is unreaso ...

拼写错误错误(或者应添加) 不确定
tpo25
The lecture points out the explanation that clay jars were acient elctric bateeries is unreasonable. However, the professor totally disagrees with this idea by following reasons:

To start with,the professor points out no conductors such as metal wires had been found may because the local people ,not the archaeologists, found the vessel ,so there is a possibility that the local people are not able to regonize the importance of those conductors and they might（用may 比较好吧 and 连接的 able to ，还是might 表示一种语气？？） overlook those things and throw them away.

what's more, the reading material says that the copper cyliders were used for holding scrolls. However, professor point out even though the original function of copper cylider is indeed to hold scroll, as time goes by , the vessel may adapt to another purpose such as batteries. 这一段可以再详细点，将听力中的 detail 加进去

Additionally, the writer thinks the clay jars as betteries would have been totally no use （usage）to acient people because there is（are） no devices that they depended on electricity. On contrast, the speaker says when vessel filled with liquids, it could produce some electric shock which could be used for healing some ailment such as vibrating the muscle.

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-9 20:53

xhbhxhbh 发表于 2014-6-9 19:35
拼写错误错误(或者应添加) 不确定
tpo25
The lecture points out the explanation that cl ...

嗯嗯感觉还有好多不足呀~~木有其他问题了么~~~ 感觉我用词还是太单一了。。。

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-9 22:54
6.9 TPO26 综合！

In the reading passage, the writer contends that there is no way to stop the spreading of mussels. Contrast, the professor in the listening material points out people already obtained the knowledge to control mussels by following methods:

Firstly, the reading passage states that zebra mussels could be spread out along new canals by human transportation through attaching themselves to ships' bottom. However, the professor argues that the ship could be filled with salt ocean water to kill mussels instead of "ballast water " in which mussels can survive.

secondly, the writer explores that zebra mussels will dominate once they are carried to a new habitat . On contrary,the professor points out that ,indeed, there is no predators and that mussel have a high rate of reproduction, but it just in the beginning. After a short period, when local species has decreased, the local predators are likely to eat mussels because there is no foods to eat.

Finally, even though mussels seem to cause a decline in fish populations which are plankton eaters. However, the speaker explores that the other fish could have positive effects. The reason is the mussels will generate the fishes who eat mussels in the bottom .

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-10 12:00
6.9独立写作

Which has a larger influence on the society: automobiles or airplanes?

Along with advanced civilization, lots of influencial innovations ,such as automobiles and airplanesare, invented to change our life quality . If only choose one event to symbolize our contemporary life development, I would like to champion the airplanes whose advent break through the dilemma of far distance.

To start with, it goes without saying that airplanes are efficiency. As we know, even though automobiles has already saving lots of time but it is not without its flaws and people are still botherd by the problem of long distances. The fact is even no time limits, if one took automobiles to a far place, he also has to face other problems such as fuels, weather conditions and passion consumptions in this long trips. Besides, compare to the airplanes which in one time are able to contend 50 people in average, the automobiles are just no more than 5 persons. Nowadays, time is money, therefore, for modern people airplanes are far more efficiency and influence than automobiles.

What's more, it is no deny that airplanes offer a better quality and enjoyble experence for climents. For instance such as travel, not only tourist agency but also individual all prefer to take planes as their first optimal choice of transportation although the price of airplane tickets are more expense than automobiles. The reason is obviously that the airplane bring more fun and comfort for people's travel. Contrast, if people took automobiles went to travel , when they arrive at destination, it is no any energy to take pictures or visit views because they all tired in the trip.

Finally, I have to say, the most useful advantage and far-reaching influence of airplanes is they are fast, which is absolutely the most fatal weakness of a automobile. They help directly to medicine career such as organ transplantation. As we konw, the organ which is capable to departing from human's body in a short time if it is keeped in the certain condition could be reused. Therefore if the organ could be transmit in time to someone in other place, this act could save one another's life. The question is how to transport the organ to other place in the short time. The airplanes solve this problem. They contribute a lot to the human's fitness.

In addition, the airplanes take so much merits not only for oneself, but also for the all world . Clearly, it goes without saying that the airplane contribute directly and dramactly to human beings.

作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤 时间: 2014-6-10 23:32
eleven，我是拖沓病企鹅，我认真的看过你的tpo25了，也狠狠的改过了，你那天说想在小分队得到提升，所以我就分外狠些，还有一个可以快速提升综合的建议就是，去看大牛们的优秀作文帖，对比他们写过的同一篇，你就知道自己从哪些方面去补了，加油！

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-11 11:01

超级无敌小鹤鹤发表于 2014-6-10 23:32
eleven，我是拖沓病企鹅，我认真的看过你的tpo25了，也狠狠的改过了，你那天说想在小分队得到提升，所以我 ...

哈哈哈哈企鹅相当有帮助呀，特别是招搬句子，每次感觉都不晓得怎么总结阅读，最后节约时间都是直接摘抄原文句子呀~~~too young too naive啊我~~
对哒亲的6.9的综合是不是还没贴上去呀~我好像不有看到诶

作者: yagiliang 时间: 2014-6-11 11:10
hello，我是6.9和你互改综合的，我今天之内po上去和把你的改完哈，不好意思

作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤 时间: 2014-6-11 18:16

elleven806 发表于 2014-6-11 11:01
哈哈哈哈企鹅相当有帮助呀，特别是招搬句子，每次感觉都不晓得怎么总结阅读，最后节约时间都是直接摘 ...

企鹅改的很好哈~~ 指出的错误要记住哈~~
——鹤鹤

作者: yagiliang 时间: 2014-6-11 21:40
不好意思，我的应该写不了了，因为我只有TPO 1-24的。所以我也只是大略的修改了一下你的语法，希望对你有帮助

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-11 21:58

yagiliang 发表于 2014-6-11 11:10
hello，我是6.9和你互改综合的，我今天之内po上去和把你的改完哈，不好意思

okok
~~~~~~~

作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤 时间: 2014-6-11 23:51

elleven806 发表于 2014-6-11 11:01
哈哈哈哈企鹅相当有帮助呀，特别是招搬句子，每次感觉都不晓得怎么总结阅读，最后节约时间都是直接摘 ...

6.9的综合是你和别人互改呀，你再看看

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-12 08:57

超级无敌小鹤鹤发表于 2014-6-11 23:51
6.9的综合是你和别人互改呀，你再看看

嗯嗯我和yagiliang互改综合和你互改独立哒

作者: Johnnyli 时间: 2014-6-13 07:49
同学，
6.11
综合
Johnnyli 互改 elleven806

你的作业呢？

作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤 时间: 2014-6-15 22:59
eleven童鞋，我是企鹅，不好意思上次跟你说作文要晚点改没想到晚那么久，还要提醒你一下的是你6.11的作业没有交啊，是不是什么事情耽误了，这种情况最好跟当天互改的小伙伴提前说一下

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-25 17:39
6.24 综合！
Obviously, the professor totally disproves what is suggested in the reading passage that nowadays the trend in book reading has caused less literature reading. According to the Professor, the assertion of author is too absolute to get conclusion.

To start with, the author points that  a decline in literature reading is harm for people, they loss the chance to train imaginations and to improve comprehend of language. However, the professor argues that literature is not the only way to simulate intellect. People could read other books instead of literature such as history books...

What's more, according to the reading material, instead of reading, people in nowadyas are prefer to watch TV shows, listen to music, or search on Internet. The author believes those new entertainments already draw people's attention far from literature books. But, the speaker contends that becuase time is change,and culture is change, people also adapt our life ways. It not means the new nonliterature entertainment is useless for people. On contrast, the new entertianments such as the TV , musics  contribute a lot to our life.

Finally, indeed, it is may true that  many pubulishers would like to invest less in literature. However, this unfortunate phemenon because recent literature books are more and more difficult to understand for audience and normal people can not understand what writers want to express. Therefore, they lose lots of their fans.

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-25 18:28
6.24 独立 Visiting museums is the best way to learn about a country

There are lots of ways that people could learn about a country such as travelling to some certain rememerable cities and sites, or reading numerous different books which introduce a country by words or pictures. For my part, I believe that visting museum is the optimal way to learn about a country.

To begin with, the first advantage of museum is that everthings in museum are not abstract but easy to understand. Especially to children,it is the first choice for young child to cultivate their learning motivation. As we know, the child is always full with curiorty and want to recognize the world. However, they are not capable to reading words because they are too young. Comparing to boring picture or story telling, child could use their own eyes to learn about a city by visiting a museum. There are so many valuable events prevented in the museum. Child could try to understanding the backgroud of those authentic affairs to know more about a city.

What's more, visiting a museum is more objective to learn about a country. If people read books or wathcing TV or through other ways to learn about a country, there must exist some misunderstanding. Because like history of a country, the book or the TV shows all blend with authors' or TV editors' own opinions and comments. On contrast,visiting a museum by ourselves is much more object, there are no other voice to influence one's jugements. People could learn a country all by theirselves. There are thousand Hamlets in a thousand reader'seyes.

The last but not the least, almost every country has its own museum which exhibit numerous events about development of the city. For example, I visited Shanghai city museum in China. It so awesome. The museum devides to three parts. In the first part , it shows the history of Shanghai. There are lot's of picture of different age of Shanghai, and mode of some specific and unique building in different time. It give me a great impression. And the second part of museume is about science techonology innovation which is created by Shanghai people. And third part is the future regulation of Shanghai. When I visited the museum, I got a direct impression of this city and want to lean more and deep.

Therefore, visiting a museum to learn about a city is not only make one feel interested but also get a well-round impression for the city.

作者: Five_007 时间: 2014-6-25 21:11
652综合

作者: Johnnyli 时间: 2014-6-25 22:10

elleven806 发表于 2014-6-25 18:28
6.24 独立 Visiting museums is the best way to learn about a country

There are lots of ways that peo ...

MM 改完了，请收货
另外多说一句，我611的作文你还没给我改.....

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-26 13:14
Clearly, the professor disproves what is suggested in the reading passage that the subject of the professional painting is Jane Austen. The author introduces three reasons; however, the professor thinks none of these evidences is convincing.

To start with, the author points out Austen's family permit to use Austen's portrait in an edition, and besides, after several years past, Austen's familiy recognized that the girl in the portrait is Jane Austen. However, pointed by the professor, one significant fact is being left out of consideration. Almost nearly 70 years past after Aunsten's death, her current family members, who say the portrait is austen, are never see Austen in fact. Therefore, this evidence is rejected.

what's more, the author claims that the sketch is so similar to Cassandra's sketch. All the features such as eyebrows , nose, and mouth are very much like Austen. According to the lecture, the author may neglect the possibility that the extensive family members of Austen are so big. She had lots of relatives. As reported, some experts argues that this portait was one of Austen's relative named Mary Ann.

Finally, the author presents that the style of this painting links it to Ozias Humphrey who was very popular when Jane Austen was a teenager. According to listening passage, it may hard to determine this painting weather or not painted by Ozias Humphrey, but it can ensure that the date of this portrait was late than the reading passage suggested.

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-27 13:40
6.26 tpo13综合写作
Clearly, the professor disproves what is talked in the reading passage that the trend of private collectors buying fossils will be harm for scientists and general public. The professor presents several reasons as follow:

To start with, the author contends that public may lose the access to view the collections when fossils all are sold to private collectors. However, one significant thing is being left consideration. When more and more fossils are demand by people, more and more fossils will be exploited. Therefore, for public, there actually are more chance to see fossils in the futures.

what's more, according to the reading passage, scientists seem to lose opportunity to see those valuable fossils and may be miss some important discoveries because the wealthy buyers would like to spend limitless money to obtain fossils. But, pointed by the professor, the author fails to take into account that the scientist is always the person who identify the fossil. In other words, even though the fossils will finallybe obtained by private buyer, the fossils must pass through the hands of scientists because they will do some exam and observe details on fossils.

Finally, the author very concerns that untrained commercial fossil buyers will destroy important hints which link to fossils in their surroundings. On contrast, they speaker points out the worry is totally unnecessary. The team of expolitors run by university and some scientist institutions. They are so professional.

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-27 14:31
6.26 独立写作Parents do not understand their children as well as parents did 50 years ago.

Nowadays, the topic that unlike 50 years ago, parents do not understand their kids any more causes serious public concern. For my part, I totally disagree with this idea. I still definitely confirm that parents always love and understand their children as well as 50 years ago.
The time is changing, the ways to love are also changing.
Like China, along with rapid development in China, the population become a significant problem. The Chinese govermen drafts a law to limit fertility rate that every family only allows to have one child. Therefore, in 80s or 90s generation, lots of them do not have any brother and sister in home. However, their parents seem not pay much attention to them. Lots of people doubt that the current parents spend less time with their child, or that current parents all focus on their work and their business as so to forget their child. But, those opponents all fail to take into account the fact that all those behaviors are because the parents love their kid. They try to send their child to broad to get better further study, to buy the best things to their child, and to earn more money to establish a good living condition for their next generation. Compare with 50 year ago, the same thing is they all love their children,but the difference is the approaches of love.
For instance, unlike nowadays parents, the parents in 50 years ago may not have such knowledge, and few of them went to school. Therefore, they want to their kids could have better educations. Therefore, when their kids went to school , and come back home to finish homeworks, the parents prefer to accompany with their children try to teach or learn with their kids. Bur nowadays, even though parents all took advanced educations, there are more professional people and institutions, such as cram school or tutor center, could teach their child to help them to accomplish the homework or to solve the question of the childs. In other words, parents never accompanying with children to finish home work not mean they do not love or understand them anymore. The contemporary parents just change the ways.
What's more, the other misunderstanding to current parents is that current parents showing more ambition in their career mean they would like to earn more money instead of to spend time to understand childrens. It is so ridiculous! Indeed, parents want to earn more money, but the reason is they want provide a better life . When parents was young, their parents have to take a burden of life and sacrifice the chance to get good education. So , our parents , the current parents do not want their child do it again. They wish we can get better life. Therefore, they try very hard to give their child best things.
In fact, nowadays children is very lucky and happy. Because their parents not only offer a good life but also show a better understanding than 50 years ago.

作者: Johnnyli 时间: 2014-6-27 23:46

elleven806 发表于 2014-6-27 13:40
6.26 tpo13综合写作
Clearly, the professor disproves what is talked in the reading passage that the t ...

6.26tpo13综合写作

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-28 11:25
Clearly, the professor totally disproves what is talked in the reading passage. According to author, the salvage logging has much contributions to the recovery and the economy. However, the professor points out the disadvantages of salvage logging far outweigh advantages as follow reasons:
To begin with, the author contends the merits of trees moved could leave space for new trees growing. However, according the lecture, cleaning up the forest may be harmful to new trees. The reason is decomposing trees will become the new nutritions for cultivating trees. If people move these potential nutritions trees out of forests, the soils would be lack a source of nutritions.
What's more, the assertion of author may be right that dead trees is a suitable habitat for insects and those insects could cause a big damage to healthy trees. Pointed by professor, the author fails to take into accout that those insects are not only harmful invaders, but also some useful and good insects which are benificial to forests from long-term period. Therefore, the author is too obsolute to reach a conclusion.
Finally, the speaker refutes the claim that the salvage logging creates more economic growth in reading material. Two factors are being left consideration. One is that forest fires are not always happened. Thus, the number of logging is limited. Second is that workers are required people who should be more professional and skillful. On contrast, the local people are lack of these knowledge. Therefore, it will not created additional jobs for local residents.

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-29 12:14
TPO25综合，6.28
Clearly, the professor totally disproves what is suggested in the reading passage. According to reading material, the author proposes several measures such as building a fence, capturing by volunteers, and using specially designed virus to stop the extend of the cane toad in Australia. However, the professor points out none of those approaches is useful.
To begin with, the author contends that people could build a fence to prevent the cane toad colonized. And this measure has been used before and get a good effect. However, the professor argues that the assertion of author fail to take into account that there are some waterways which could carry cane toad and those eggs to cross the fence. In fact, the fence can not deter the river flowing. Therefore, the cane toad still could cross the fence to the other side through water passage.
Furthermore, according to the reading passage, the writer claims the cane toad could be capture by hand easily. The Australian government could set up an organization to help to stop the toad spreading. But, pointed by lecturer, the author neglects the fact that those volunteers and citizens are all untrained. And, there are lots of native Australian frogs eggs in this area. Thus, those untrained volunteers will destroy valuable native frog eggs at the same time when they are trapping toads.
Finally, the disease-causing virus is a totally terrible idea. The speaker points out that the cane toad is a original species of America. It is a significant part of American ecosystem. After the Austrainlian people use virus to infect those toads, if one infected toad back to American land, the whole ecosystem would be destroied. Therefore, the specially designed virus not brings any benefits but destroys the entire system.

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-29 14:07
Parents should give school-age children money as reward for getting a high mark in school.

Along with rapid development of society, especially economic growth, in order to teach children more knowledge and to train kids ability to regulate money, parents tend to give children a mount of money as reward when they are get good behavors in school. For my part, I am totally in favor this measure. It has lots of potential advantage for childrens after they grow up.
To begin with, reword could stimulate children's ambition to acchive goals. As we know, parents and adults work hard may becuase they have to take the burden of life, or because they want to make more money to improve life quality, or may because they want achieve personal value. Anyway, there need something that people are chasing for. For children, there also need something to attract them to work hard. Unlike those complex aims, the money is the most welcome and direct reward for children. Therefore, when parents offer those money for children if they could get a great mark in school, the young kids will have a purpose or sake they could work for. In some extent, this rewording contribute directly to children's wonderful performance in shcool.
What's more, the another advantage for children is that this rewarding way helps kids to cultivate a good habit to regulate money and establish a concept of money as they are young. As we know, economy is a crucial role in current society. Therefore, it is no denying that the younger children get familar with money, the better children could to regulate and arrange thier money. Parents not only offer money to children but also provide a oppotunity and experience for children to how to use and arrange the money. They could draft a plan , or spend to buy some books or toys, or do some investments. How to use those money is another advanture for those little kids.
Addimittely, there are also some bad effects. For example, in order to get high rewarding, some students cheat in exams. And, some other children spend those money to buy lots of games and unhealty movies or hang out with bad guys. However, I believe those casea are rare. And these disadvantages not outweigh the merits.
To sum up, giving kids reward is becoming more and more popular measure to encourage children to achieve high mark at school. It is indeed a good way to stimulate kids.

作者: 北极的企鹅123 时间: 2014-6-30 00:08
亲，起床收货啦~发现你的综合写作简直进步神速，绝对是good的水准啦，现在总结的也相当好，继续加油！！

作者: 北极的企鹅123 时间: 2014-6-30 00:09

超级无敌小鹤鹤发表于 2014-6-11 18:16
企鹅改的很好哈~~ 指出的错误要记住哈~~
——鹤鹤

哎呀，冒用鹤鹤的名义招摇撞骗被逮了

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-30 09:26

北极的企鹅123 发表于 2014-6-30 00:08
亲，起床收货啦~发现你的综合写作简直进步神速，绝对是good的水准啦，现在总结的也相当好，继续加油！！ ...

谢谢鹅鹅呀~~~建议都很中肯很受用。
阅读和听力总结就是有时候把我不了度，之前写少现在写多~~~啊~~~~

作者: 小蘑菇开始打怪 时间: 2014-6-30 11:39
Parents should give school-age children money as reward for getting a high mark in school.

Along with rapid development of society, especially economic growth, in order to teach children more knowledge and to train kids ability to regulate money, parents tend to give children a mount of money as reward when they are get good behavors （这是自己发现的错误嘛？）in school. For my part, I am totally in favor this measure. It has lots of potential advantage for childrens after they grow up.
To begin with, reword（笔误吧） could stimulate children's ambition to acchive goals. As we know, parents and adults work hard may becuase they have to take the burden of life, or because they want to make more money to improve life quality, or may because they want achieve personal value.（三个句子并列的话，是不是只用在最后一个句子前面加or就可以了？） Anyway, there need something that people are chasing for. For children, there also need something to attract them to work hard. Unlike those complex aims, the money is the most welcome and direct reward for children. Therefore, when parents offer those money for children if they could get a great mark in school, the young kids will have a purpose or sake they could work for. In some extent, this rewording contribute（单数） directly to children's wonderful performance in shcool.
What's more, the another advantage for children is that this rewarding way helps kids to cultivate a good habit to regulate money and establish a concept of money as they are young. As we know, economy is a crucial role in current society. Therefore, it is no denying that the younger children get familar with money, the better children could to regulate and arrange thier money.（这里是想用the more the more的句型还是？） Parents not only offer money to children but also provide a oppotunity and experience for children to how to use and arrange the money. They could draft a plan , or spend to buy some books or toys, or do some investments. How to use those money is another advanture for those little kids.
Addimittely, there are also some bad effects. For example, in order to get high rewarding, some students cheat in exams. And, some other children spend those money to buy lots of games and unhealty movies or hang out with bad guys. However, I believe those casea are rare. And these disadvantages not outweigh the merits.
To sum up, giving kids reward is becoming a more and more popular measure（前面加一个冠词好点） to encourage children to achieve high mark at school. It is indeed a good way to stimulate kids.

总结：
1、笔误什么的注意一下就好，考试的时候留三分钟检查一下。
2、总字数可以再多一些，第三段的让步段明显有点儿太少，可以说下如何预防由前带来的不良影响。
3、有两处三个句子的并列，其实可以简化一些或者句式更平行一些。
4、单词的运用比我好太多啦~~考试加油~~

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-30 11:44
6.29综合
Clearly, the professor totally disproves what is suggested in the reading passage. According to the author, the science of archaeology-dedicated is facing several difficulties, such as valuable artifacts lost, money lacking, and low paid. However, the professor points out that all of those problems are solved by new program.
To start with, the author asserts that new construction and buildings are uncovered precious archaeologically sites. Lots of artifacts are ruined. However , the speaker claims that there is a new process that each each artifacts cite have to be examed by archaeologists at first. Then, all the important and valuable artifacts cites will be preserved. Therefore, the author's worry is totally unnecessary.
What's more, the writer argues that archaeological researches are always lack of money. And also, government funds and grants are gradually decrease in recent days. Pointed by the lecturer, the author neglect the fact that the funding is offered by construction company in the new project. Besides, there is abundant money for research. Therefore, unlike these important and valuable sites, other interesting artifacts will have the opportunity to investigate.
Finally, according to the reading material, the writer says that having a career in archaeology is very difficult. There are not too many position. On contrary, the lecturer presents that after beginning this new projects, an increasing positions are opened to public. And the pay is also the highest than before.

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-30 11:52

小蘑菇开始打怪发表于 2014-6-30 11:39
Parents should give school-age children money as reward for getting a high mark in school.

Along wi ...

谢谢蘑菇呀~~三分钟检查我觉得是不要想了，前面两次考每次写独立的时候我就是完全没得想法的码字，两次都是得的Fair（1—1.5）的这种，好心焦，写不完不说写的时候点逻辑都没有。。。。
我会加油的~~

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-6-30 13:25
啊啊啊，这是有史以来写的最久最没赶脚最差的老。不过还多接近我真实考试的状态的~~
本来人家还想写篇好点的文章给sweet看看呐~·

现在写作文最大困难除了写不完外，就是不知道如何去展开我的论证啊
论点提出来了，感觉论证的过程就是在饶圈圈，始终点不到点上~~焦急
谢谢sweet啦辛苦咯
6.29 The ability to read and write is more important now than in the past.
With the fast development of economy and society, the significant of ability to read and write has been increasingly regonized by people. The capability of read and write links directly to one's business success and life quality. It goes without saying that those ability is more important than the past.

To start with, read and writes ability is a fundamental requirement nowadays almost in fields. Unlike decades ago, current elites almost obtain a good capablity to write and read. On contrary, getting a higher education is nearly impossible in the past decades years ago.In that time, our grandparents even our parents give up the education and take burden of life, thus, they are lack of read and write ability in some extend. However, nowadays, current generation all have the opportunity to go to school learning knowledge. Thus , it is no denying fact that the ability to read and write is a commom skill in recently .

Furthermore, the capability of read and write contributes directly to people's career. In 50 years ago, even though people all lacking of ability, it is not a big metter. Because everyone is same and is litte ability to read and write. However, nowadays along with eye-catching development of society. People not only need ability to read and write ,but also need better reading and writing skills such as read other language. For instance, with an increasing trend of globlezation, business people need to contact with foreigner corporators. Therefore, people who obtain another language write and read ability are more chance to get success.

Finally, having a good read and write ability will increase people's life quality and people will feel happier in daily life. People through reading and writing not only train the skill , but also learn a lot knowledge. Therefore, when they confront adversity, older people my just cry for those pity. But this generation could adjust by using those skills such as readding some books who are famous in this difficult filed and have lots of experince, write dairy to realse our stress. There are lot of approaches even if you obtain the reading and writing skill. The more knowledge you obtain, the happier you are in live.

To sum up, compared with many years ago, the capability to read and write is already significant in our life, helping us overcoming difficulties and enjoying life.

作者: Johnnyli 时间: 2014-6-30 23:58

elleven806 发表于 2014-6-27 14:31
6.26 独立写作Parents do not understand their children as well as parents did 50 years ago.

Nowadays ...

改完了

孩纸，加油啊！

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-7-1 10:02

Johnnyli 发表于 2014-6-30 23:58
改完了

孩纸，加油啊！

嗯嗯，蜀黍说的我一定记到！！谢谢蜀黍~~

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-7-1 13:04
6.30 tpo17 综合听了两遍啊啊如果记笔记记太HIGH就会漏听一些内容 ~~改进记笔记方式不要求全求多呀~~

Obviously, the professor disproves what is claimed in the reading passage. According to the reading passage, the author presents that an increasing human population, agricultural activities, and pesticide use are harmful to birds. However, the professor says that those reasons are totally convincing.
To begin with, the author points out that there are more and more human populations and settlements which destroy natural habitats of birds. However, the professor argues it may true that urban settlements will hart birds, but it just some certain type, and some other types of bird are all get benefits from settlement increasing. In fact, urban area creates better habitats for birds and there are more and more bird find suitable homes in cities.
Furthermore, the writer asserts that increasing agricultural activities take place of bird habitats as agricultural use. Thus, the bird population decline dramatically. Pointed by the professor, the author fails to take into account that there are less agricultural use lands than past because a new productive corp is invented. Therefore, people do not need to expand the new land for agricultural use and there no more destruction of bird habitats.
Finally, according to the reading material, pesticides are poisons. It is inevitable to kill some birds by contaminated water and poisoned foods due to pesticide use. But, the assertion of author is too absolute. According to the lecturer, firstly, the new pesticide which is improved with less poison. So it already considerable decrease pollution of foods and water. What's more, the new crops with genetic design with more resistant to pest. Thus, in near future, the crops would not attract pest and will not need pesticide any more.

作者: sweetyecho 时间: 2014-7-1 13:21
错误修改好

6.29 The ability to read and write is more important now than in the past.
With the fast development of economy and society, the significant（significance） of ability to read and write has been increasingly regonized（recognized） by people. The capability of read and write links directly to one's business success and life quality. It goes without saying that those ability is more important than the past.

To start with, read and writes ability is a fundamental requirement nowadays almost in fields. Unlike decades ago, current elites almost obtain a good capablity to write and read. On contrary, getting a higher education is nearly impossible in the past decades years ago.In that time, our grandparents even our parents give up the education and take burden of life, thus, they are lack of read and write ability in some extend（to some extent）. However, nowadays, current generation all have the opportunity to go to school learning knowledge. Thus , it is no denying fact that the ability to read and write is a commom skill in recently .

Furthermore, the capability of read and write contributes directly to people's career. In 50 years ago, even though people all lacking of ability, it is not a big metter.（matter） Because everyone is same and is （has）litte ability to read and write. However, nowadays along with eye-catching development of society. People not only need ability to read and write ,but also need better reading and writing skills such as read other language. For instance, with an increasing trend of globlezation（globalization）, business people need to contact with foreigner corporators. Therefore, people who obtain another language write and read ability are more chance to get success.

Finally, having a good read and write ability will increase people's life quality and people will feel happier in daily life. People through reading and writing not only train the skill , but also learn a lot knowledge. Therefore, when they confront adversity, older people my just cry for those pity. But this generation could adjust by using those skills such as readding （reading）some books who are famous in this difficult filed and have lots of experince, write dairy（diary） to realse our stress. There are lot of approaches even if you obtain the reading and writing skill. The more knowledge you obtain, the happier you are in live.

To sum up, compared with many years ago, the capability to read and write is already significant in our life, helping us overcoming difficulties and enjoying life.

sweet来斗胆说一下感受啊。如你所说，第一段第二段论证确实有问题；第三段我觉得完全OK。第一段，你应该是想论证read and write是现代社会基本要求，而你的的例子表达的意思仅仅是现在的人文化水平高于几十年前这样一个社会现实；我想这样写，应该可以：过去，人们较低的文化水平不会影响日常生活，而现在，如果你不能有良好的读写能力，你将寸步难行，所以balabala。第二段，例子表达的不是很好，论点对职业生涯有贡献，论证时，直接说globalization要求人们有更强的外文读写能力，它能帮助你获得成功。这样写，可能更加清晰明了。不知道，我的这些想法有木有一点道理？
对了，还有，拼写错误要注意哦～
加油加油！

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-7-1 13:40
Teachers are appreciated and valued nowadays not as much as they were before

Nowadays, one of topic that causes concern is that teacher are appreciated and valued not as much as they were before. For my part, teacher are more significant than past as following reasons:

To begin with, the increasing chance to get education contributes directly for people to realize the appreaciated of teachers. Unlike decades year ago, few people have opportunity to be educated. They took burden of live when they are very young. Although without much knowledge, they also could get a normal life. Thus, teachers are not wlecomed and valued in that day. However, oncontrast, along with rapid development of society, the significance of teachers has been increasingly recognized when education is not a difficult thing. For instance, in China, the current policy is that everyone should finish 9 year required education before they enter into the society. It is no doubt that this period is the most important time for one to cultivate their think mode and to accumulate knowledge. They learn from teachers. Obviously, teacher is far more influenced and valued than past time.

What's more, the most merit of teachers nowadays is they are more professional and special. In current cruel and competitive world, the fundemental skill is not enough. Every individual should find out one field which they are interested in, and get better and more precise study. In other words, teacher not only need abundant knowledge but also need well-study at certain major. They may are expert or already study this major many years. It is not a rare thing that one university has numerous departments, such as science, math, English and so on. In each department, there are lots of majors. Each major has too many different cources to study. And, every cource has totally different teacher. For example, the English major has extensive reading cource, intensive reading cource, listenning cource.. There are all teached by different teacher. From this case, we could see the dramatical increase teach system and it becomes more and more perfect. Thus, it is not denying that teachers are appreciated and valued nowadays than before.

作者: sweetyecho 时间: 2014-7-1 13:46

elleven806 发表于 2014-6-30 11:44
6.29综合
Clearly, the professor totally disproves what is suggested in the reading passage. Accordin ...

综合么的问题，非常好！！！赞！

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-7-1 13:47

sweetyecho 发表于 2014-7-1 13:21
错误修改好

6.29 The ability to read and write is more important now than in the past. ...

谢谢SWEET 我就是这个感觉自己一直在presentation 根本木有critical 的切论证你说的那个意思就是我想表达的，但是写的时候还是被思维和英语语言表达的功底局限了写的好丑呀！！谢谢SWEET啊说的都很有用

作者: sweetyecho 时间: 2014-7-1 13:55

elleven806 发表于 2014-7-1 13:47
谢谢SWEET 我就是这个感觉自己一直在presentation 根本木有critical 的切论证你说的那个意思就是我想表 ...

不客气呀，11号～～～作文的思路我看的最棒的估计就是Johnny蜀黍了～好膜拜！嘿嘿～

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-7-1 14:15

sweetyecho 发表于 2014-7-1 13:46
综合么的问题，非常好！！！赞！

SWEET 你看看现在这样改了逻辑好点木有~~~
To start with,nowadays read and write ability is a fundamental requirement in every field. If one can not read or write, he can do nothing in this cruel and competitive world. Decade years ago, because people suffered a hard time, they took burden of life when they are very young and do not have the opportunity to go to study. Thus they all have little ability to read or write and it's not a big deal in that time. On contrary, nowadays, current generation all take a higher education. It is no denying that the ability to read and write becomes a basic skill and requirement for people. Without this skill, people could not live a normal life. As time goes on, the significant of read and write has been increasing recognized in recent days.

作者: Johnnyli 时间: 2014-7-1 15:26

elleven806 发表于 2014-7-1 10:02
嗯嗯，蜀黍说的我一定记到！！谢谢蜀黍~~

拍拍不要慌，加油！

作者: sweetyecho 时间: 2014-7-1 23:51

elleven806 发表于 2014-7-1 14:15
SWEET 你看看现在这样改了逻辑好点木有~~~
To start with,nowadays read and write ability is a fundamen ...

嗯嗯～好很多！语法拼写也没什么问题～很赞！

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-7-2 11:03
7.1 TPO18综合
Clearly, the professor is totally disproved what is suggested in the reading passage. According to the author, there are several approaches to address the decline of Torreya, such as reestablishing, moving to different location, and preserving in research center. However, the professor points out that none of those ways is useful.
To start with, the author suggests that Torreya could be rebuilt in same location which has a specific microclimate. The microclimate could contribute a lot to regulate temperature of surrounding region. However, the professor argues that one fact is being left consideration. Global warming increases overall temperature.The cooler weather condition in microclimate region will interact with the increasing entire temperature. Thus, it seems useless of microclimate.
Furthermore, according to the reading material, the writer proposes that moving Torreya to another totally different environment where Torreya is likely to thrive. Pointed by professor, the author fails to take into acconut that the new introduced Torreya may destroy all native trees when the original trees already become extinct. Like Black trees, they kill lots of original trees when they were introduced to new area.
Finally, the author claims that Torreya in reaserch centers not only could be protected careful but also are convenient to be observed. But, the lecturer presents that Torreya may be infected by some disease due to less genetic diversity. Research center can not prevent them from some desaster.

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-7-2 15:32
7.1
In the past,it was easier to identify what type of career or job would lead to a secure and successful future.

In the 50 years ago, success means easy for people. Only if people get a good job, it seems to reach the achievement. The reason is a wonderful job could lead secure and successful future and this certain type of career is easier to identify than nowadays.

To begin with, the category of job is very clear and little in the past. For example, 50 years ago in China, the focus of country's development was on agriculture even though with little profit. Besides, with the poor economy condition and slow advanced society, people could get enough educated. Therefore, most of people became peasants with small earning. Only few educated people went to city to find opportunities. In some extent, getting a job in developing city is means better future. In urban area, jobs almost devide as teacher, officer, banker and so on. Those jobs are not only having better salary but also having a good living quality than being a farmer. Thus, because the limit of job types, for most people in that time, it is very easier to identify types of job which could offer successful future.

What's more, there are less factors influencing success in the past. With fast development of modern society, it goes without saying that the society is much complex than past. Time is changing. For example, teachers always represent a good job. It not only has certain holidays but also is security. But , nowadays, especially the advance in the area of technology such as internet and social media, teachers could put their open classes teaching videos in the internet or make use of lots of new sources. Through those new ways, They may get chance to go to broad to get a speech or receive top schools' offer that they may have opportunity to find a better job in top schools. Therefore, even people all do the job as teacher, their future may totally different because those new influencing factors. On contrast, in the past, there almost no influencing factors, the society is simple. For people, choosing a job is more easier to identify the future without those factors consideration.

To sum up, as time goes on, world is changing. It seems that choosing a career is not a easy job any more nowadays.

作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤 时间: 2014-7-2 23:10
我是企鹅，改好了，亲写的作文越来越好啦

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-7-3 13:27
7.3 综合TPO8
Clearly, the professor disproves what is presented in the reading passage. According to the author, the Chevalier's life was not as accuracy as he wrote in the memoir. However, the professor is totally disagreed with following reasons:
To start with, the author points out the Chevalier was not rich while he was living in Switzerland. The evidence shows that the Checalier was lack of money and borrowed lots of money from a Swiss merchant. Pointed by professor, one fact is being left consideration. It needs some time to waiting for cash when Chevalier sold his property. In that period, Chevalier need to use money. Thus, this is the reason why he borrowed money from other. Borrowing money not means money insufficient.
Furthermore, the writer argues the authenticity(accuracy) of the Chevalier conversation with writer Voltaire. One could not remember all details of conversations after many years past. But, the lecturer claims that the author fails to take into account that the Chevalier wrote down the conversation after he talked with Voltaire in every night. Therefore, even though he writes record lots of years after conversations. It is still filled with details due to his general notes.
Finally, the author asserts that Chevalier get out of prison by offering bribe instead of using a piece of metal. The reason is that he has lots of politically well-connected friends which could help him. On contrast, according to the lecture, the speaker points out there are lot's of prisoners who have more powerful friends than the Chevalier. But, only the Chevalier get out of Prison. Besides, a document shows that after the Chevalier escaped from jail, the jail got repaired. This fact also supports that the Chevalier really used metal piece to escape from jail.

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-7-3 13:28

超级无敌小鹤鹤发表于 2014-7-2 23:10
我是企鹅，改好了，亲写的作文越来越好啦

谢谢企鹅的建议很有用~~

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-7-3 20:20
The rapid growth of cities has a mostly positive impact on the development of society.

Is this a good thing that the fast development of cities? Some people point out that it is no denying that there are numerous positive impact on society, such as offering better life quality for people and increasing efficiecy. But, personally, I do think that the disadvantages of the growth of cities far overweigh the merits that it bring to society.

To begin with, the growth building in city make people less heathier than past. The more houses are built, the less greenlands are left. In the past, people have lots of ways to relax themselves. They could walk or stroll in the street, do some excercise in the greenland, or meet more friends when they go outside. However, nowadays, there is no any vacant space left. The greenlands all used for building houses. Current entertainment places such as movie center, KTV, are all cover by the concrete wall and are lack of new air. People stay in different house all the days. They are sleeping in a house, working in a house,and play in a house. Those tall building not only are lack of air, but also are limited room people could move. It is so unhealthy.

Furthermore, the other disadvantage of increasing cities, there are less land could be use for agriculture. It is a big problem. For example , in China, the population is increased year by year. At same time, the foods that people need become insufficient. As agricultural lands and rural area take placed by city. Peasants lose their lands. It is goes without saying that the foods are less productive. Even though people could live in better house, the basic demand is being hurt.

作者: sweetyecho 时间: 2014-7-3 22:07
终于爬上来了！！！

作者: sweetyecho 时间: 2014-7-3 22:14
错误修改好

7.1
In the past,it was easier to identify what type of career or job would lead to a secure and successful future.

In the 50 years ago,（语法错误：改成During the last 50 years） success means easy for people. Only if （我想11号想表达的意思是as long as）people get a good job, it seems to reach the achievement. The reason is a wonderful job could lead secure and successful future and this certain type of career is easier to identify than nowadays.

To begin with, the category of job is very clear and little（不清楚这里用little是什么意思。如果你想表示数量少，应该是number of categories做主语） in the past. For example, 50 years ago in China, the focus of country's development was on agriculture even though with little profit.（语法错误：even though应该接从句，你这里接的是with短语） Besides, with the poor economy condition and slow advanced society, people could get enough educated. Therefore, most of people became peasants with small earning. Only few educated people went to city to find opportunities. In（To） some extent, getting a job in developing （我推测，你是想说发达的吧：developed）city is （删）means better future. In urban area, jobs almost devide as （divide into）teacher, officer, banker and so on. Those jobs are not only having （时态：现在进行时不对，一般现在时ok）better salary but also having a good living quality than being a farmer. Thus, because （加of）the limit of job types, for most people in that time, it is very easier to identify types of job which could offer successful future.

What's more, there are less （fewer）factors influencing success in the past. With fast development of modern society, it goes without saying that the society is much（加more） complex than past. Time is changing. For example, teachers always represent a good job. It not only has certain holidays but also is security. But , nowadays, especially the advance in the area of technology such as internet and social media, teachers could put their open classes teaching videos in the internet or make use of lots of new sources. Through those new ways, They may get chance to go to broad （是出国的意思吗？那应该是go abroad）to get a speech or receive top schools' offer that they may have opportunity to find a better job in top schools. Therefore, even people all do the job as teacher, their future may totally different because those new influencing factors. On contrast,（只有by contrast或者on contrary，没有on contrast） in the past, there almost no influencing factors, the society is simple. For people, choosing a job is more easier to identify the future without those factors consideration.

To sum up, as time goes on, world is changing. It seems that choosing a career is not a easy job any more nowadays.

这次的论述很棒，尤其第二个论点的例子举得很贴切，非常喜欢。今天都是一些可能没太注意的小错，注意一下就好了。
实在抱歉，这么晚才改。对不起～

作者: sweetyecho 时间: 2014-7-3 22:43
错误修改好

7.1 TPO18综合
Clearly, the professor is totally disproved what is suggested in the reading passage. According to the author, there are several approaches to address the decline of Torreya, such as reestablishing, moving to different location, and preserving in research center. However, the professor points out that none of those ways is useful.
To start with, the author suggests that Torreya could be rebuilt in same location which has a specific microclimate. The microclimate could contribute a lot to regulate temperature of surrounding region. However, the professor argues that one fact is being left consideration. Global warming increases overall temperature.The cooler weather condition in microclimate region will interact with the increasing entire temperature. Thus, it seems useless of microclimate. （听力问题：除了global warming还有个并列的小细节：wetlands have been drained）
Furthermore, according to the reading material, the writer proposes that moving Torreya to another totally different environment where Torreya is likely to thrive. Pointed by professor, the author fails to take into acconut that the new introduced Torreya may destroy all native trees when the original trees already become extinct. Like Black trees, they kill lots of original trees when they were introduced to new area.
Finally, the author claims that Torreya in reaserch centers not only could be protected careful but also are convenient to be observed. But, the lecturer presents that Torreya may be infected by some disease due to less genetic diversity.（听力错误：R centre需要比较大的树和genetic diversity，野生的T可以满足要求，但R centre受限于capacity，所以T从不能在R Centre长期生存） Research center can not prevent them from some desaster.

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-7-4 17:08

sweetyecho 发表于 2014-7-3 22:14
错误修改好

7.1

谢谢sweet 说的都是很重要的我平时也木有注意到的点~ 非常非常受用啊！

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-7-4 17:09

sweetyecho 发表于 2014-7-3 22:43
错误修改好

7.1 TPO18综合

听力确实第二个点没听懂听了两遍都是模模糊糊的！！！听力还是有点问题哒~加油啊！:

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-7-4 20:06
7.3 TPO20综合
Clearly, the professor totally disproves that what is argued in the reading passage. According to the author, he suggests that the "let it burn" policy is harmful to the forest, such as tremendous plants damage, wildlife destroy, and economy decline. However, the speaker presents that the fires play a natural role to ecosystem and have lots of advantages.
To start with, the author points out that the fire will cause big damage to the trees and some vagetations. However, the professor asserts that the fires create more diversity than before and provide some opportunities for new plants. In fact, after a big fire, there are some plants which could not be survived before have chance to grow in those unshield place.
Furthermore, the writer claims that the wildlife also will be affected by the big fires. There are some smaller species could not be survived untill the trees return. Pointed by professor, the fires not destroy the environment but create new habitat for those smaller species. Such as rabbits, the new environment is obviously a new ideal place for them. At the same time, it also contribute directly to the pradators of rabbits. Thus, the food chains are more stronger after the fires.
Finally, according to the reading material, the damaged park will lose lots of tourists and have bad effect on local economy. But, the professor says that the author neglects the fact that the fires will not happen every year. Therefore, when trees are all recovered, the tourists will visit again in every year.

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-7-4 20:06
7.3  独立写作
Movies and television programs should present stories in which good people are rewarded and bad people are punished

Along with fast development of society, espeically technology such as TV , internet , and other social media, movies and TV shows are well welcomed by the increasing number of people. However, the topic that movies and television programs should present stories in which bad people get punished and good people get happy ending causes wide public discuss. Personally, I believe that the movies and TV shows should put good and positive stories for public people.
To begin with,  a positive story will make people feel happy. With more and more competitive society, people take heavy life burden. Watching TV and movies is a good way for people to relax themselves. A good and positive movie will bring courage and hope for people. As reported, lots of new worker will have some difficult time in their firm. Such as some collegue bribe to their boss and get much salary or some peers do not work hard but still get same money. But, in the reality, those new workers can not do any thing to change this unfair life. So when they watch movie and TV shows, they want to see bad guys get punished. From this kind of movie, they find hope of life and relax their bad mood. Obviously, those movies will make people get happier.
Furthermore, a good story could create a good example to people and establish a positive social environment.  Movies and TV have a far-reaching influence on this generations especially young adult. Those young people are full with passion and energetic. They like fashion and like those popular movies. At the same time, they may imitate their favorate actors' behavior unconciously. Therefore, if the movie give those young children bad example. Such as bad people get reward. This phenomenon will make young people to  question the world, even meke them do bad things. Therefore, it goes without saying that a positive movie not only will get a good feedback from young people but also estabilish a wonderful social environment.
Admitted, the movie which good people get reward and bad people get punished sometimes is very boring. Becuase when people watch movie at beginning, they will know then ending. And there almost are happy ending movie. Thus, those movie will be lack of some attraction. But it is too weak to persuade me to walk away from my point of view.
To sum up,  even though the positive movies sometime are indeed lack of attraction, it is ackownledged that contemporary people all like watch positive movies which not only could contribute great social environment but also could make people feel happier.

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-7-5 10:42
7.4 TPO21综合
Clearly, the professor totally disproves what is suggested in the reading passage. According to the author, the genetically modified trees bring lots of benefits. However, the professor believes that the disadvantages of genetic trees far overweigh than merits.
To begin with, the author points out that the genetically modified trees are more likely to suvivie than other trees because they are unique designed for certain situation. However, the professor asserts that the author may neglect the fact that this special modified trees tend more to die out than other trees. The reason is their organism's genes are only suitable for one particular situation. Therefore, when there are new pest or climate change which out of genetic designed consideration, those modified trees are complete die out than other trees in those new situation.
Furthermore, the writer claims that those modified trees contribute a lot to economy. Due to greater yields and less pesticides using, it could save a huge mount of money for people. Pointed by professor, one fact is being left consideration. Those seeds of modified trees will spend more cost than other tree seeds. Actually, by law, peasants not only should pay more money for those seeds but also should pay for each turn in every year they want to plant. Therefore, the cost of modified trees are increased.
Finally, according to the reading material, the modified trees could contribute to other wild trees and saving endangered native trees. The modified trees could satisfy the demand for wood due to their high yield. But, the speaker aruges that the genetically modified trees are harmful to native trees. Those modified trees will become a dominant competetor for local trees and they could out compete of sources such as sunlight, water, soil. Thus, the locao and endangered native trees will decline.

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-7-5 11:11
Parents should allow children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.

Nowadays, the question about that how to guide children and how to regulate their behaviors caused wild discuss. In fact, with fast development of society, the significant of education has been increasingly recognized by parents. For my part, parents should allow children to make mistakes and let them learn somthing from their own mistakes.
To begin with, it will help children to establish a good value towards to life. It goes without saying that children will change their behaviors when they have some bad experience. If parents guide children before they make mistake, the children can not recognize their bad behavior, because it did not make any bad result. Therefore, in the next time, they will repeate this bad behvior again. On contrary, when children get punished by their own mistakes. They will recognize what is right thing and what is wrong thing. Finally, they will not do it again. It could contributes directly to children's futures and help them build a good value.
What's more, That children make mistake and then correct their mistake by themselves make children have a positive attitude to confront adversity. It is inevitable that everyone will face some difficulties in their life time. People who have a postive attitude will get more happier and easier. When children make some mistake, parents not help them. They children will understand that they can not depend on other people. Therefore, they will become stronger than other contemporary children. When they grow up, they will not afraid of failure and mistake. At the end, they will get success more eaiery because they already have those experince.
Admitted, sometimes, parents could help children to solve lots of problems before children face them. And it will make children feel happier in their childhood.

作者: 小蘑菇开始打怪 时间: 2014-7-5 11:42
7.3  独立写作
Movies and television programs should present stories in which good people are rewarded and bad people are punished

Along with fast development of society, espeically technology such as TV , internet , and other social media, movies and TV shows are well welcomed by the increasing number of people. However, the topic that movies and television programs should present stories in which bad people get punished and good people get happy ending causes wide public discuss. Personally, I believe that the movies and TV shows should put good and positive stories for public people.

To begin with,  a positive story will make people feel happy. With more and more competitive society(改成with the society becoming more and more competitive?), people take heavy life burden. Watching TV and movies is a good way for people to relax themselves. A good and positive movie will bring courage and hope for people. As reported, lots of new worker will have some difficult time in their firm. Such as some collegue bribe to their boss and get much salary or some peers do not work hard but still get same money. But(用however这样语法比较对）, in the reality, those new workers can not（用cannot） do any thing to change this unfair life. So when they watch movie and TV shows, they want to see bad guys get punished. From this kind of movie, they find hope of life and relax their bad mood. Obviously, those movies will make people get happier.

Furthermore, a good story could create a good example to people and establish a positive social environment.  Movies and TV have a far-reaching influence on this generations especially young adult. Those young people are full with passion and energetic（energy）. They like fashion and like those popular movies. At the same time, they may imitate their favorate actors' behavior unconciously. Therefore, if the movie give those young children bad example. Such as bad people get reward. This phenomenon will make young people to  question the world, even meke them do bad things. Therefore, it goes without saying that a positive movie not only will get a good feedback from young people but also estabilish a wonderful social environment.

Admitted, the movie which good people get reward and bad people get punished sometimes is very boring. Becuase when people watch movie at beginning, they will know then ending. And there almost are happy ending movie. Thus, those movie will be lack of some attraction. But it is too weak to persuade me to walk away from my point of view.

To sum up,  even though the positive movies sometime are indeed lack of attraction, it is ackownledged that contemporary people all like watch positive movies which not only could contribute great social environment but also could make people feel happier.

楼主每段的论点都很清楚，两个支持点一个让步。词句变化比较丰富。
个别句子语法上有些问题。比如：
1、用such as开头作为句子来举例我认为fragment
2、用连词（and but）开头但却只有一套主谓，所以这个连词可以换成副词。

考试加油！~

作者: sweetyecho 时间: 2014-7-5 17:36

elleven806 发表于 2014-7-4 20:06
7.3 TPO20综合
Clearly, the professor totally disproves that what is argued in the reading passage. A ...

这一篇的综合没什么问题，我听的点你基本都有。可能稍微不太完美的就是最后一个point的细节不充分：你只说了大意这个现象不会年年发生，如果能再加上rainfall，wind等等因素的阐述就更好了。

作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤 时间: 2014-7-5 22:42
我是企鹅，顶着鹤鹤的名义又来啦

作者: 小蘑菇开始打怪 时间: 2014-7-7 10:52
亲，我的0704的独立作文貌似是和你互改，我看你到现在都没有写，我的文章已经写好了~~帮我改一下吧~~谢谢！

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-7-10 16:13
7.9 独立写作Spend money on long-lasting thing or spend on short-term pleasure

Along with fast development of economy, people could earn more money than past years. How to use the money? Some think people should spend money on short-term pleasure, such as buying jewelry. However, from my part, I believe that people should spend money on long-lasting thing such as taking a trip.
To begin with, long-lasting things could make people feel happier and more enjoyable. It is common knowledge that people earning money not only want to improve their life quality, but also want to make life more colorful. But, the pleasure from spending money on short-term things can not insist for long time. It is just a immediate enjoyment.For example, some women tend to purchase clothes and jewelry when they have some saving. However, buying those things can not give them a long-lasting enjoyment. As long as they obtain those things, they would not feel happy any more. On contrast, some clever people are likely to spend money on long-term things. They go to travel which not only bring happieness but also make people relax. And the most important thing is they still have those memorable records no matter how many years past.
Furthermore, saving money could train people's patient. As we know, saving money is a very difficult thing. There are lots of things attracting people during they are saving money. If one can not resist temptation, they can not saving enough moeny to do long-lasting things. By the way, the long-term thing may cost more than short-term thing. Therefore, saving money could contribute directly to train people's patient.
Finally, compared to short-term pleasure, long-term things are more meaningful. As the saying goes: successful people do the things that are hard and necessary and important. And unsuccessful people do the things that are fun and easy and which give immediate enjoyment. Such as short-term thing which are fulled with immediate pleasure. Therefore, the long-term things are more meaningful even though it would spend much more time and patient.
To sum up, although short-term things could bring immediate enjoyment to people, I still confirm that the long-lasting things could contribute a lot to our life.

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-7-22 22:57
7.22
broadly speaking 一般来说
our society generously provides such environment for people to achieve such goals.
...helps a person achieve his goal with more ease
!!Does sth only provide us nothing beneficial besides ...
eg.Does a university only provide nothing beneficial besides a paper-made diploma?
as far as I concerned, we enjoyed university education in the following aspects:
A systematic study in a college or a university, of cource, enables us to realize how the society works and how to cope with certian problems arising from it in a more efficiently, and more skillful way.
sth makes it possible that...
we get hold of （得到） a decent job
As a result of the accomplishment of a four-year study, it is not difficult for us to find a good job in most cases.
A university education fortifies our values, enhences our skills, and broadens our horizons.

作者: elleven806 时间: 2014-7-23 11:44
commit to...投身于...
being heavily committed to ...is likely to make...过于专注某个做法

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