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标题: risedream作文习作帖，期盼拍砖，越多越好(^_^) [打印本页]

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-1-18 23:50
标题: risedream作文习作帖，期盼拍砖，越多越好(^_^)
先暂时全是开头，过两天发全部作文。第一次练，请前辈们不要介意，多多指教，谢谢！
2014.1.18

1. Nowadays it’s easier to maintain health than the past.

Health, is the most important things in people’s life. Nothing can be done without having a good body. Work, study, entertainment.... Everything is out of the question. It has always been defined as the priority before anything. There’s a recent debate that goes hot in public today about whether we are more healthy nowadays. Although people from the past can care for them a lot, the technology now and the thorough research made by professional nuitrition lists can easily outweigh the poor knoledge from the past. When it comes to me, i would choose without hesitation that we can easily maintain health now.

2 getting advice from friends who are older than you is more valuable than getting advice from friends your same age.

Friends, is a kind existance that can influence us in knoledge and can pass on good virtues. To be with good friends can get really good thoughts and learn valuable things that we probably never would have seen of our own age. A recent pressing argue about whether people can learn more from older friends. A part of my friends holds to the idea that it’s better to get advice from friends of our same age due to the non-limited relationship between same-aged students. In my opinion, i would prefer to get advice from senior friends. I will explain my point of view in the following examples.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-1-18 23:55
2014.1.18。
题目：大学生是否不必到学校上课，只要参加考试就行了?

In personal thought and experience, I would say that I don’t agree to the idea of student’s only show up at the test and not extending school.A research last spring at a university has shown that students who finish their courses could earn much credit then the students who doesn’t tend classes fairly. I know a lot of students can learn their classes ahead of regular process. Then they would develope an idea that the rest of the classes were a lack of their talents. The truth is, they weren’t. I will exhibit my view of this question in the following lecture.

The knoledge nowadays are not what they were use to be. They had developed more deeply, more widely. If a students only sat on what he or she had already got, they can never get what a profesional expert in a perticular area’s wisdom, they would never know the hidden mistery behind the words revealed to you. There is a movie in 2010 called”homeless to harvard”. The little homeless girl called Lizzy has an erge to absorb everything taught or given. Her teacher didn’t just go with the things textbook says, he can jump out of the ring where a textbook is claimed to be the only justice. Take history for example. Lizzy’s teacher taught her what history really is deep down. I believe that is not something a textbook can make a thorough explination.

There is one thing that’s pretty important to students in the university——credits. We all know quiet well that you can only graduate if you earn enough credit. Where does the credits come from? From sociel activities and from school apperearences. Somebody on facebook once made a census that can tell us how much does the credits in school weigh in the whole school credit rules system. The results showed that the credits you earn by making speeches on class or the interaction between one student and his or her professor takes a percentage about 50 percent. So the students that are leaning to not going to school will face a difficult matter: Where do you get your credit?

Of course, one can get plenty of benefit by staying at home. You can have the choice of deciding what you learn and when do you learn without any interferences. It can lower the grade of disterbence to the lowest and a choiceble form to fix a plan that suited one’s own habit.Plus, staying at home can go with further learning of the things ahead of other children.It has the sensiblity of being selective ,of being in the lead in the studies. But all these benefits can be found in a classroom, and you can seek more from that. If you want to be academicly professional, I still sugest you to take your classes true minded.

Again, I really lean to erge the students to take their classes with a humble mind.

作者: 铁板神猴 时间: 2014-1-20 02:26
1st edit on language

2014.1.18

1. Nowadays it’s easier to maintain health than the past.

edited:
Health is one of the most important things in people’s life. It is out of question that almost everything, including work, study, entertainment, etc., cannot be done without first having a good body. It has always been defined as a top priority. There’s a recent debate that goes hot in public about whether we are healthier or not nowadays. Although people from the past can care for them a lot [actually what do you mean?], the modern technology and researches made by professional nuitritionists can easily outweigh the poor knowledge from the past. When it comes to me, I would decide without hesitation that we can easily maintain health now.

2 getting advice from friends who are older than you is more valuable than getting advice from friends your same age.

edited:
Friends are a kind existance that influences us not only on knowledge, but also on virtues. To be with good friends can offer you good thoughts and valuable things that we probably never would have seen of our own age. A recent pressing arguement is about whether people can learn more from older friends or not. A part of my friends hold the idea that it’s better to get advice from friends of our same age due to the non-limited relationship between same-aged students. In my opinion, I would prefer to get advice from senior friends. I will explain my point of view in the following examples.

作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤 时间: 2014-1-22 09:42
In personal thought and experience, I would say that I don’t agree to the idea of[that] student’s[students] can only show up at the test and not[without] extending school.A research last spring at a university[You'd better name the university, or they will think you just fake it!] has shown that students who finish their courses could earn much[more] credit then[than] the students who doesn’t tend classes fairly.[Sorry but i don't think who finish their courses and who doesn't tend classes can be compared, since finish courses only means you pass the finial test, no matter whether you tend the class fairly or not!] I know a lot of students can learn their classes ahead of regular process. Then they would develope an idea that the rest of the classes were[are nothing but] a lack of their talents. The truth is, they weren’t.[But this idea is absolutely mistaken!] I will exhibit my view of this question in the following lecture.

The knowledges nowadays are not what they were used to be. They had[have] developed more deeply and more widely. If a students only sat on what he or she had already got, they can never get what a profesional expert in a perticular area’s wisdom,and of course they would never know the hidden mistery behind the words revealed to you. There is a movie in 2010 called”homeless to harvard”. The little homeless girl called Lizzy has an erge to absorb everything taught or given. Her teacher didn’t just go with the things textbook says, but somethimes he can[also] jump out of the ring where a textbook is claimed to be the only justice. Take history for example. Lizzy’s teacher taught her what history really is deep down. I believe that is not something a textbook can make a thorough explination.[I believe this is somthing that a testbook can hardly make a thorough explanation]

There is one thing that’s pretty important to students in the university——credits. We all know quiet well that you can only graduate if you earn enough credit. Where does the credits come from? From sociel activities and from school apperearences. Somebody on facebook once made a census that can tell us how much does the credits in school weigh in the whole school credit rules system. The results showed that the credits you earn by making speeches on class or the interaction between one student and his or her professor takes a percentage about 50 percent. So the students that are leaning to not going to school will face a difficult matter: Where do you get your credit?[OK, here is the problem——the university will give youthe credit of one course if you pass the final test, that means even if you don't attend the class, you can still get the credit. So this paragraph is actually meanless. I think you should change the idea, or you can change your express like: not attend class sometimes will affect your finally score, make a risk that you fail to pass the test!]

Of course, one can get plenty of benefit by staying at home. You can have the choice of deciding what you learn and when do you learn without any interferences. It can lower the grade of disterbence to the lowest and a choiceble form to fix a plan that suited one’s own habit.Plus, staying at home can go with further learning of the things ahead of other children.It has the sensiblity of being selective ,of being in the lead in the studies. But all these benefits can be found in a classroom, and you can seek more from that. If you want to be academicly professional, I still sugest you to take your classes true minded.[Although in the finally of the paragraph you show that these benefits can all be got in classroom, you still need more reasons to support your idea, I think it will be better if you can further meantion some problems that home study has!]

Again, I really lean to erge the students to take their classes with a humble mind.

作者: 铁板神猴 时间: 2014-1-22 18:02

超级无敌小鹤鹤发表于 2014-1-22 09:42
In personal thought and experience, I would say that I don’t agree to the idea of[that] student’s[ ...

Good edit! Crane Crane.

on the last paragraph, maybe it's not appropriate to use "lean to do". When using "lean to", we do imply "have a tendency", but it's normally used like "One Leans To an idea", meaning One Tends to Believe an idea.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-1-22 20:27

铁板神猴发表于 2014-1-22 18:02
Good edit! Crane Crane.

on the last paragraph, maybe it's not appropriate to use "lean ...

真是太谢谢您了，一定改这一点。真用心呢！

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-1-22 20:28

铁板神猴发表于 2014-1-20 02:26
1st edit on language

2014.1.18

真谢谢您呢，改的真好，会注意改的！

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-1-22 20:31
2014.1.22
P.S.这回其实还是一部分的，没有例子，请老师们帮忙看看改改main idea 好吗？谢谢！
题目：Do you agree or disatree with the following statement? Teachers should assign home work for students everyday after school.

Homework is the qualify that determains their performances at school. It’s a review of the knowledge learned from class. It’s also a transfer from knowledge to skills. A recent debate in education fields argued that whether teachers should assign homework or not. Some of my friends suggested that teachers shouldn’t assign homework, they should let students to study from outside of class. But in my opinion, i think teachers should assign home work everyday.

Students can use homework to gain a lot of things. They can train their ability of responsablity and independency when they are doing their homework. They can also cultivate their ability to dominate their time of study. Some creative homework can also help students to have great mind and thoughts. For example...........

Teachers can have interaction with students in homework. They can know the problem in a students homework and can solve their question very quickly and on time. They can also know the statement of a student’s recent study attitude, if there’s a problem, they can help students to get out of the bad mood very quickly so that they can study better. They can also depend on the homework to adjust their teaching ways, details and methods of their teaching.

For parents, this can be a way to let them understand their children’s ways of study. They can use their own experience to teach their children. And it’s a chance of interaction between a bond of blood.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-1-22 20:33

超级无敌小鹤鹤发表于 2014-1-22 09:42
In personal thought and experience, I would say that I don’t agree to the idea of[that] student’s[ ...

谢谢您的修改，真是精彩呢！您改的一定注意~~

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-1-22 20:37

超级无敌小鹤鹤发表于 2014-1-22 09:42
In personal thought and experience, I would say that I don’t agree to the idea of[that] student’s[ ...

老师，我想问问您呢，写作文没有思路是该怎么办，去看什么呢？求教~

作者: 铁板神猴 时间: 2014-1-22 23:37

risedream 发表于 2014-1-22 20:28
真谢谢您呢，改的真好，会注意改的！

不必客气，叫我神猴就好~

作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤 时间: 2014-1-22 23:37

risedream 发表于 2014-1-22 20:37
老师，我想问问您呢，写作文没有思路是该怎么办，去看什么呢？求教~

其实我个人觉得，这个不是思路的问题，而是一些人生阅历的积累
通过看其他的资料能弥补的仅仅是语言上，而至于文章的构思啊，内容的设计与衔接这些其实需要有一定的积累的，就好像如果你没有看过某电影的话，很难写出比较高质量的影评

那我个人觉得，一方面你可以看看托福的满分作文，主要是学习人家的一些语言技巧；另一方面，有必要去准备一些常用的段子之类的，以防有时候实在没什么写的时候，可以套用

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-1-23 07:20
2014.1.22
题目：Children should spend most of their time studying or playing; they shouldn’t be required to help the family with household chores, such as cleanin and washing.

Since the video on internet about children resisting to do chores
went hot on the internet, an argue about whether children should be asked to chores had become a pressing question into the publicity’s view. Some hold the idea that children shouldn’t do chores and should move more time to study or to play, or to the point about the development in economics, some thinks that there’s no need for children to do chores anymore, most families have maids to help cleaning the house.In my opinion, children should be required to do some chores.

They can be more indenpendent if they train to do chores. They can arrange their personal life quiet organized. If they eat their heads off and doesn’t like to work, they can’t face any problems when they grow up. And they can’t arrange their work and life very well. Just like my neighbors son. He was required to do a lot of things when he was little, shch as washing cars sweeping floors or aranging bookshelves.

Children can learn to love the enviroment they are in while they do chores. It’s an important skill no matter to the work in the future or the study atmosphere nowadays. Doing chores can develope a good habit of tending the enviroment around us. It can be a judgement for others to tell whether you are an organized people or not. You might easy think one’s virtue by their desks. Like when i came to visit my sister, her tidy and easy table settings can easily gain preferrences, but the table besides hers is very disorderly and unsystematic, the good impression has gone away quite predictedly. Doing chores is a gate that one must pass to have great life habits.

Some says that children should hold the time to study due to the development of acknowledge. The precious time can be used to do reviews, study new knowledges, and they can spent the time doing useful researches for our studies. But we can also learn a lot of things by doing chores. Like the attitude towards life and the important daily good habits.

Taking into account all these factors, we may safely reach the conclusion that children should be required to do some chores in order to develope good life habits

作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤 时间: 2014-1-23 20:29
简单了看了下，说几个比较大的问题：
1、第二段的they they they，最好部分用children替代；
2、感觉你的文章有点空，就是都是表现的说理，但是没有展开很深入，所以会觉得文章没有很好地层次[虽然这个对于你这个年龄来说比较难，但是建议你稍微看一些托福满分作文，感受一些他们的说理~~~我觉得，既然对你来说说理要深入的说清比较难，那不妨少说道理多说例子，讲例子不失一个好方法]
3、篇幅上略短，最好第三个点也就是你的第四段能长一点；然后结尾稍微能丰满一点

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-1-23 21:10

超级无敌小鹤鹤发表于 2014-1-23 20:29
简单了看了下，说几个比较大的问题：
1、第二段的they they they，最好部分用children替代；
2、感觉你的文 ...

刚看到妈妈复制来的评论，我以为是老师发给妈妈的反馈呢，好些简直是一模一样！！
越来越敬服CD一个又一个版主的学问，真的是特好。神猴版主、无敌小鹤鹤版主还有perfectends_Betty版主，好佩服你们呢。我特别着急，晕乎乎地不知道怎么办，你们带我一下子去明白不知道的事情，特别特别感谢老师们的指点。

神猴版主和无敌小鹤鹤版主，放假以前的作业特多，做完作业就是背单词。等我交完作业以后，我就去看范文，再重写这些给您们看，再等等我啊～～还有还有要去做口语～～

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-1-25 20:57

超级无敌小鹤鹤发表于 2014-1-23 20:29
简单了看了下，说几个比较大的问题：
1、第二段的they they they，最好部分用children替代；
2、感觉你的文 ...

超级无敌鹤鹤老师,我又来看一下您讲的.
上次忘了说了,我这一周不能让您们帮我改,要不交的作业就不是我自己写的作业了.等我上完课不交作业时再发上来请您批.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-1-29 19:44
2014-1-29
【综合写作】
题目：TPO17

The author in the reading passage believes that the development of humans can do harm to wildlife, especially birds, which shows by the decline of their numbers, while, the professor in the lecture disagrees with the reading’s statement.

Firstly, the author considers that the natural habitats will disappear gradually, such as the forests, wetlands and grasslands causing the birds’ home eliminated furiously. However, the speaker explains that the habitats are even better and larger than the old days. Opposite to the author’s point of view, the number of birds in the city had increased, species like seagulls, hawks, or even falcons can be seen in the city.

Secondly, the lecturer challenges the reading’s view that as agricultural activities increases with the human population, they may take up more wild areas that wild-lives live. Plus in order to execute the activities, they have to cut trees, which is the living environment .she claims that agricultural events didn’t do any harm to the environment, plus the activities now a days use less field than old days. Besides the peasants plant crops, which is food to the birds. They wouldn’t need the wilderness to do any new products either.

Lastly, the passage still holds the view that as human population expand, the use of chemical pesticides increase. Birds drank the water that is mixed with pesticides or the insects that are poisonous. Destroying their living habitats and their normal food chain., which is also cast doubt by the professor in the listening material with the analyses that people are improving this problem by making two changes. One is to made new pesticides with less toxic in it, making the smallest amount of harm for animals. The second change is that they can grown newly developed crops that is pest resisted. These kind of crops have absolutely no harm to the birds, which providing food for the birds at the same moment.

To sum up, the professor in the lecture cannot reach an absolute consensus with the reading towards the issue above.

请各位大神严格指出我的问题，谢谢老师！

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-1-29 19:53
2014-1-29
题目：Should we require our young children (age 5-10) to learn music and art in addition to math, science, history, and language.

Young children at this particular age is said to be the best time to learn things, they are easier to take in the knowledge we give them and doesn’t reject to those things. They can also learn faster since their absorbing ability is quite strong. A battle was drawn though both the academic and education field, debating for many times about whether young kids should study music and music. A part of the publicity claimed that children at this age doesn’t have the mind to appreciate the inside and that they should have more fun at this age. But I thought they should try to set hand on these subjects.

Learning these subjects can help them gain a higher level at their emotional world. Listening to music and paint drawings can cultivate one’s taste and base a great character from the beginning. Relaxing one’s mind when they are busy. As we know, people at this age have already started their studying. They may not stand the pressure of first involving into studies. Plus, when people are tired or over excited, music and art can let them settle down and relax. For example, my sister is 6 years old, she always get very overwhelmed by playing. She can calm down by listen to a few songs.
　　　
Children of this age have a lot of potential study ability and plasticity. We always say that learning something has to begin early in their childhood. Begin to study early cannot only began their comprehensive study early and can do better in the study, they can also find their interest more quickly, which can help them determine their future majors. Take my bother for example, he studied music when he is very young, then he loved the music major ever since and he did great job in this major.
　　　
Of course, for those who does not like music or art, they could be very frustrated and under pressure by learning things they are not good like or don’t have interest. In other words, letting them learning these subjects is to force them learning something they doesn’t like at all. They may have more contradiction for these things. But, due to the potential and un-limitation of children that age, these phenomenon are rarely to happen.
　　　
Due to all these factors, children of the age 5 to 10 should try to learn art and music.

请老师狠狠拍砖，谢谢老师的辛苦！

　　　

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-1-29 20:06
2014-1-29
题目：Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and allow them to learn from their own mistakes.

Recently there is some phenomenon about parents scolding or being too strict with children. People who saw this scene debated over a serious question about whether parents should let children make their mistakes then gain experience by themselves. whether the young children should be offered some opportunities to achieve some experience from their own mistakes rather than be immobilized by parent’s strict requirements has come in focus. Some mistakes will exert more negative influence on children even do harm to their confidence. But in my opinion, the potential benefits of learning from mistakes far outweigh the problems to children’s growth.

To make mistakes can have deeper understanding about the mistakes the children have done. Parents can provide decent supervisions, but some certain problems should be realized due to personal experience. Compared with the advices parents forced on kids, self experience can provide them deeper impression and then prevent them from making such problems again, like when they smash a few dishes, they can learn to be elegant; when they lost something, they can learn to be careful and attentive and more creative solutions on this problem. Meanwhile, personal experience can provide a healthy psychological influence of their life, it is obvious that kids who have overcome the problems independently will become more confident and gain increasing sense of achievement.
Further more, if parents kept blaming children when they made mistakes, they will be afraid to made mistakes before their parents, or even more seriously, will avoid making decisions, take actions and even escape taking responsibility. They may hide their flaw and learn to deceive their parents, causing a worse situation than they simply made mistakes. causing some mistakes that can’t be made. As we know, the heart and mentality of a child can be very fragile. If they were scared by parents, it will take a very long time to recover, making the process to their maturity even harder. Take my sister for example, she made a mistake in reading when she is little and my aunt scolded her pretty hard, she took a long time to recover from the shock and hurt. she, as an adult, still fears to speak in public and is always self-conscious or nervous about her performance before stranger, which leads to her frequent failures in job interview.

Of course, some questions can’t be handled by children themselves. Like robbing or killing, these questions must be prevented imediately by parents. They should show their children the serious of these type of questions. Children may not know how bad the consequinces are. To creat a happy life, they should be aware of these things. But, if it were normal questions, they should still be handled by children alone.

Due to these factors layed afront of our eyes, we may truly come to the conclusion that parents really should let children handle most of the questions by themselves.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-1-29 20:09
2014-1-29
再次谢谢老师的帮忙和辛苦！
题目：Do you agree or disagree to the fact that telephones have more influence to people than televisions do.

Telephone, as a part of our life, plays an important part in people’s life. In this information times/era, people’s life, work, business and so on is becoming more convenient due to the telephone, further; the cell-phone’s mobility can let us communicate no matter where they are. With the improvement of phone, we are satisfied with the multifunction of cell-phone like sending emails or reading e- books. A recent debate argued a question about whether telephones play a more important part in life than university. I agree with the point that telephones are more important, because of its big use in our life.

For students, they can contact the parents and teachers to answer questions. Making studying more easier, cause they can know the answer to their problems. And they can contact their friends to exchange each other’s ideas and we could have more interaction throughout life.they can mend their leaks on time. For example, we had lots of question when we are staying at home for the review, we phoned our teacher to ask a lot of questions and we don’t have to run all the way to school.

For adults, they could be more relieved if they can contact their children some while a day. And telephones play a great part when they are at work. It can be a tool for them to contacting colleagues. It can shrink the distance between two districts and let companies cooperate through long distances. Let people benefit from this interaction. For example, we all know the Microsoft company, they spread their knowledge of softwares between long distances. Now people all over the world can use their software and the company gets a lot of benefit and gain a strong background on their reputation.

For old people, phone is a way/tool for them to communicate with their families. No matter how far the children are, they can always have a little chat with their children and be relieved to know the ones that are being concerned’s situation. And mend the regret that they can’t see their children all the time. For example, my grandmother always calls me or my mother or my uncle to know our recent statement.so that she can be rest assured.

Televisions can also play a great part in people’s life. They can made fun in people’s life. And they can draw families and friends close by creating peer interests. But telephones can play a much important part in people’s daily life.

Before all these factors, we can come to the conclusion that telephones play a more important part in people’s life.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-1-29 20:27
2014-1-29
题目：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should assign home work for students everyday after school.

Homework is the best criteria that determains/reveals their/students performances at school. It’s a review of the knowledge learned from class. It’s also a transfer from knowledge to skills. Homework, which is related to some exercises in accordance of the daily class assigned for the students by the teachers, it is usually considered as the best feedback of student’s school performance for teachers to examine their teaching quality and can do a great benefit to review the knowledge from class for students to strengthen the understanding of the intellectual substance.A recent debate in education fields argued that whether teachers should assign homework or not. Some of my friends suggested that teachers shouldn’t assign homework, they should let students to study from outside of class. But in my opinion, teachers should assign home work everyday.

The chief reason why I advocate the standpoint above is that Homework can help students to gain a lot of things besides academic knowledge. It is undeniable that homework is a good way to for students to review the current lessons and lay a solid foundation for the further study in the subject, while, it also can train their ability of responsibility and independency when they are doing their homework, take my studying experience as an example, meanwhile, the students can also cultivate their ability to dominate their time of study. Plus, some creative homeworks can also help students to have great mind and thoughts. For example, we once did a scientific homework about researches on volcanoes, one of my classmates get

Another special consideration in this case is that Teachers can have interaction with students in homework/ comprehensive understanding about their teaching and student’s learning through homework. They can know the problem in students’ homework and can solve their question very quickly and on/in time. They can also know a student’s recent study attitude, if there’s a problem, they can help students to get out of the bad mood very quickly so that they can study better. By consulting the student’s homework, teacher could adjust their teaching ways, lessons and even the whole schedule of their teaching flexibly.

Admittedly, For parents, this can be a way to let them understand their children’s ways of study. They can use their own experience to teach their children. And it’s a chance of interaction between a bond of blood. For example, my mother always observe my statement of studies by checking my homework and know my recent situations by communicating with my teachers. my homework plays a bridge of communicate between home and school.

It is high time that we put considerable emphasis on teachers should assign homework to students.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-1 07:53
先向铁板神猴版主、无敌小鹤鹤版主、P姐版主、鸟儿版主拜年，诚愿老师们新的一年幸福！快乐！健康！顺利！事事如意！

在姥姥家陪姥姥过年，不能上网，今天得机会在有网络的地方，发上来昨晚写的作文，诚请各位老师狠批。

2014-2-1 TPO1

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

Have you always kept a habit of doing sports? Are you ignoring the importance of your communication between the people around you? Did you think these things are not so important compared to your studies? A recent between university finance managers and principals argued about whether they should spent school budget on students’ sports and social activities. Part of the students think only the credits and performances are urgent in school life. They begin to give up the chances of the running or swimming chances they once always do, they begin to talk less with their neighborhood. They only travels between the school, library, and their home or dorm. Personally I hold the idea of students’ health and social communication abilities should also be valued by school’s prior executives.

Firstly, doing sports can have a positive influence on their mental cares and their physical selves. A research between students that do sports and those who don’t showed that the students who exercised have a stronger body and can handle their study better. Take a real story happened in university. There’s this student that works extremely hard, she doesn’t work out at all based on the reason that doing this can save more time to study. Of course in this way she can have extra time to study. But she got too overboard and got sick which caused her didn’t even catch up the final exam. Plus, doing well in a particular kind of sport can develope more options of future doings or creating a very well interest in daily activities. One of my uncle became an athlete because he likes badminton and he made a living and personal interest out of this.

Secondly, doing social activities can develope some more comprehensive communication skills by making social contacts with different kinds of people and base on the future careers. They can know how to talk appropriately in the social environment. Like this one cousin of mine. He gained a lot of experience by sending out posters of a play and simply illustrate the play to the costumers. It’s a simple and common social activity but it still taught him how to deal costumers. He became a great sales person.

The last but not least consideration is that social contacts can make firm foundation for our future careers. We can made certain relationships that can helps to find jobs easier or to determain a job even before graduating. And by doing such things, we can earn working experiences which is vital for future career finding. Just like one of the elder students in our neighborhood took an internship at the Microsoft company by a recommendation of his professor, then, when he graduates, he really got the job he was doing as intern.

To sum up all these benefits exposed in reality, schools should spent part of their budget to make opportunities for students to take actions on these activities. Such as open up chances of sports training and make opportunities for internship or courses for students preparasion for this. With the help of the school, students can spent less time to find the opportunities and have more strength to consider their performances on their internships. They can have a wide platform of future livings, no matter in sports, or in social environments.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-4 21:50
2014-2-4
前两天在姥姥家没有网，前面几篇老师改过的我又重写了下，请老师们多多指点，谢谢！

题目：Children should spend most of their time studying or playing; they shouldn’t be required to help the family with household chores, such as cleaning and washing.

An arousing argue about whether children should do any chores beside their study has come into view of the education field. Some hold to the idea that the study nowadays has come into a white-hot era, the children should put all their concentration on their studies. Others believe that children should do some chores that can benefit their mentle health. Both sides have very convincing points and examples, I personally believe that children should do their usual chores. I will demonstrate my point of view in the following passage.

The first thing that come to my consideration is the tight bond between a child and his/her family. The lack of communication has shown more commonly in recent families. Doing housework with family members can draw the distance between them. They can have more interaction and more common languages in daily life. Take myself for instance. There has been a blank of communication between me and my mother, it was during my final exam preparation time. When I finally get over the exam, I found that the conversations between us has became pretty awkward, because I missed the recent events and didn’t have any common languages to talk to her. So we made a clean-up on a Sunday, we talked about the steps of cleaning and did a few chats of recent happenings. This event let me catch up with the recent events and erased the weird atmosphere between my family.

Secondly, a quiet ordinary scene seen in every family is their children buried head deep in to massive study missions. They are often extremely exhausted and frustrated after a long period of study. So they have to do something to reduce the tiredness, right? In that time, doing chores will be a good choice. Not only can it help you stretch up your body but can also create a better environment for the continuing studies. I remember my neighbor, John. During his preparation for his SAT test, his room is quiet a mess, his mother talked out of him to clear up his room on Saturday. After he did his housework, in spite of getting more exhausted like he thought, he became more energetic and developed a fresh mood because of the great environment all around him.

Last but not least, the children nowadays don’t have too good habits. They usually doesn’t have the concept of being clean. The lack of this virtue can cause a difficult of learning respect in the future life. Like when we are living with a roommate in college but the roommate always make a big mess in our dorm room. We would be very mad and doesn’t like him. It does the same effect to us, if we doesn’t understand this rule when we are little, we would be disliked too. Due to this consideration, I think we should do housework with our parents in our childhood. Because our parents had already been in the society and they know a lot more about good habits and virtues, they can teach us from daily things like, what we had been saying, doing housework. Of course we can gain a lot of knowledge from studying but to learn such good character has to come from the things we do.

Due to all this factors, I strongly hold to the prospect that children should do housework with their family members.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-4 21:51
2014-2-4
题目：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should assign home work for students everyday after school.

When the rising development come more obviously in our lives, they expectation in education rises continuingly. Students were expected to perform better and better and required to a lot more. Because of this recent change, the need of teachers assigning homework to children is being questioned and argued between both the students and the teachers. Part of the publicity convinced that children doing homework is unnecessary because they can learn a lot not only in their usual academic studies but also outside in the leisure exercises. But others believe that homework is indispensable in study. I, for one, agrees with the latter point of view. I will explain my consideration above this question.

The quality of one day’s study is always being valued. I for instance, would try to do some review on my study everyday. Homework is a seemingly good way for exercising a day’s learnings. They can help us reinforce the knowledge we had gain on classes. Plus, during the process of doing homeworks, we can also find the flaw and weak point in our studies, in which case we can mend the problem on time and very accurately. Saving the chance that we might perform badly in tests later on. Take myself for example, I once find a point in my study that I have overlooked during doing homework. It was on the day right before my middle-term exam. I mend the blank in my study right on time and performed quiet well on that test.

A negative influence of computer games and websites has increased because of the development in technology. Students had less and less interest in their studies. Homework however, because of its necessity, can play a positive part to gain interest in study for students. Because when they are doing homeworks, they can find more things that they don’t know, and developing a wide interest to find the answer. For example, we once had a very bad impression about our science class, which doesn’t have any homework. But once our teacher assigned a homework telling us to find out about how the plants obtain nutrition. We didn’t know about that, so we went to find the answer, we found that once we find a little part, there are always relative knowledge we don’t know. That draw a large interest and curiosity in this class.

Another important part homework can play is in our daily friendships. There aren’t too much common languages that students can draw between each other because of the difference in personal interests. But doing homework together can fix a better relationship between students. They can exchange their ideas on their studies and learn unknown or hard knowledges from those who know the answer, which also creates a better learning environment in class .

Because of all this benefits shown before my eyes, I had come to the conclusion that teachers assigning home work is a necessary and correct movement, such movement is proved to gain more than learning seldom knowledges outside of studying .

请老师们多多指教，谢谢老师！

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-5 20:33

It is easier for people in the past to identify which type of career or job has a secure or successful future.

To determine which kind of career is more successful has always been a troubling situation for those who just came in to the social environment. This question is proven to be one of the hardest questions one will face in his/ her life. On the history of the consideration in this question has always been quiet doubtful. Some say that people from the past has fewer options and less concerns since the world had not developed so much. But others say that just because we have more options to choose, determine careers became easier nowadays. Personally, I hold to the idea that it is easier to commit a fit career in the modern world.

The first thing that came to my consideration is that the development of technology has created more technological tools for us to use. With the increase of such inventions, the need for work that is relative to them will also increase. As such post is created, more people will get a larger field of choosing and a wider platform of producing themselves. But, bringing the past people to compare, we would find that because of the lack of development, people were forced to choose only in the seldom posts they can find. Take my family for example. My grandfather is an expert at computer technology, but because computers were not so popular back then, he didn’t get a job he likes. Instead he became a writer. But another case in the modern society is different. One of my brothers took some technology courses in college and did very well, like my grandfather he wishes to find some work that has connection with computers. He was hired by the Microsoft company immediately after graduation.

Secondly, I believe the finance statement of the society nowadays has reached a steady point. Unlike in the old days when all the countries were still at the settling period,which all careers may face the danger of being fired or the decrease of salary, our job posts always have a steady working environment and a steady or even up-lifting salary. Take the 18th contrary for example. The American folks always faces the banking of stocks or the abase of goods or livestocks. Some even have to find western fields for development.

Last but not the least consideration is that modern people can actually gain experience from the failures of past people. Like the example that the lack of consideration that led to an unfit and unpleasant job. We gain experience from it and didn’t make such mistakes when it cames for us to choose. There are even people that does such things professionally, the ones that help people to determine the career that is most appropriate for them. This kind of aid has been more commonly seen in recent years, which made people make less wrong choices and find their fit post the first time they graduate.

To sum up all these factors, I believe that it is high time that we come to the conclusion that modern people has more options and advantages to find a fit career than the people from our past. Because we had gain experience from the wrong deeds they had done.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-5 20:34

Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and allow them to learn from their own mistakes.

All parents love their children more than anyone in the world, but just because this special love they hold for their children, sometimes led to high expectations on their children or strict gestures they do to their children. Just because the rising expectations on their children, they sometimes forbidden children to make potential mistakes. This kind of phenomenon has led the discussion about education into a white-hot era. A lot of parents hold to the point that mistakes should be wiped out and children shouldn’t make such mistakes. The others convinced that children making mistakes is very common and very normal, parents shouldn’t make such a fuss about it. I for one, agrees with the latter point of view. I will illustrate my consideration above this question with the following points.

First of all, the high expectations may cause tremendous pressure on children. They could be more afraid to show themselves before parents for they are afraid to do it wrong. They could also be afraid to explore new things because trying the first time may do the thing not rightly. This will led them to miss finding their potential and lose the chance of developing it. And it would cause the child not wanting to show up at anything, which would led to a shy character. Take one of my classmate for example. He was always scolded by his parents for doing something not excellently, so afterwards, whenever there are events in the class, he is afraid to be a part of it. There’s this one time that someone at the television report want to choose someone that is good at math, he is the perfect one, but he refused it. He missed a lot of chances which may led to his future successes.

Secondly, a child’s heart and mentality can be very fragile. The strict movements can hurt a child’s heart and may take a long time to recover from it. Because they take every thing very seriously and may mess up in self blame. There’s this time my sister made some mistakes in her reading exercises when she is quiet little, her mother scolded her quiet madly, she took a long time to recover. As a sequel of that scolding, she is still afraid to speak in public which led to her frequent failure in her job interviews.

The third point that let me convince this view is this one time I found out my brother hiding his

grades from his parents. It’s because he was also blamed of his grades, he became not wanting the parents to know about his situations. When children forbidden to make any mistakes, they might hide their flaws from parents and learn to deceive them. This will cause a even more serious problem than it is before. So if it is for me, I would try to understand them and let them to fix up themselves.

Due to all these consideration and true examples happening around me, I came to the conclusion that children should be allowed to make mistakes. Of course there are certain problems they can’t solve by themselves, which would need parents to help them, and there are some specific problems they can never made. But most of the time, it is better for parents to let them handle questions by themselves.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-5 20:36

大人应不应该给小孩子钱作为成绩奖励。

Should the parents give money to children as a reward of their good grade in school?

The good grade on a report list is always the most wanted scene to both parents and children. When children finally earned a good grade by hard working. Parents would always give them rewards as an encouragement. Recently the case that rewards turned in to money has become common. Some objected to this gesture saying that it is bad for parents to let children set hand on money. But there are reasons to suggest that children actually gains a positive influence when they handle money. I will show these examples in the following passage.

First of all, to hand out money as a reward on their studies, not only is an accomplishment on their study and their hard working, but is also an assure on their ability of handling valuable things such as money. Children can get more courage and energy to do even better than they can do at present, causing a positive cycle on their future studies. A student in my sister’s school, Amy, always gets amazing scores, its just because her parents give a reward like that to assure her that she has the ability to do better.

Further more, money can do a lot of good deeds that can influence children in a completely different angle. For what we know, money can be used on all kinds of things. Children can use the money to buy books or save it for a tour. It can widen their point of view in a different and more effective way. For them, it is a new world, which would help them to have more curiosity to explore more knowledge, playing an important part in their future studying characters. My friend, Tom, always uses his earned money to buy historical books, he has an enormous interest in history because of a book he bought himself when he was little, he was drawn in to the world of history ever since.

The last but not least benefit parents can make by rewarding children money, is that they can get children to understand the precious value of money. To let them understand that money is uneasy to get. This movement can encourage children to know they need to work hard to gain money, which can set up the conscious about earning, and cut up the usual problems of wasting we can see from children nowadays. Jenny, a girl of 10, can arrange a weeks spent for their family, such as how much they can spent on grocery, how much spent on buying clothes. She started to planning for her pocket money when she was only 5, which set up the concept of saving money and not spending it in vain. From this we can see clearly that let children to handle their money on their own has actually made a positive influence and a silent model for the children’s concept about money.

To sum up all these considerations, I can come to the conclusion without any hesitation, that parents should give children money as a reward in study. For its important part of positive influence on both the children’s study and their life characters.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-5 20:38

Do you agree or disagree to the fact that telephones have more influence to people than televisions do.

Telephones play an important part in this technological period, it interferes with people’s work, friendship, and the communication in family bond. It is called the bridge between far distances. But some say that televisions are equally or even more important than telephones do. It plays a part in people’s entertainment world. But in my opinion, I believe that still, telephones holds a vital role in the technology nowadays.

First of all, like most people say, televisions can act in our entertainment and news gaining product. But there’s way too much more that telephones can do. It can draw the distance between long distances, let families to connect each other, keep old and new friendships by always contacting them, or even be a vital material in business contact. For example, I’ ve always contacted my parents in school for them to know my statement, and I always call my friends to ask questions. In that way we can also gain extra knowledge that we didn’t expect after shool.

Secondly, televisions can’t help us to know very much. Yes, we do gain reports or updating events from new on television, but there’s still much that we won’t know. Instead, because of the constant connection and all those persons we contact with, information came with the wide-spread touching environment. Take a news a few years ago, when Korea was electing its president, we all gained this information from telephones, some people got tips from Korean people and passed this information on. So there’s plenty of people aware of this event some time before this news is on air.

Last but not the least, televisions actually rely on telephones to offer its information. The people that does the news learned their sources using telephones to contact the origin source line. Like the opera that is shown only early in this year “the news night”, they gained their information by contacting the source lines, such as the white house or those who are at the scene of happened events. I remember one particular example is that they gained the knowledge that Ben Laden was taken down by referring of the white house.

To sum up all these factors, we may come to the conclusion, that telephones plays an important part in people’s life, even in the use of televisions. Which made it more important in people’s lives.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-5 20:39

Should we require our young children (age 5-10) to learn music and art in addition to math, science, history, and language.

Children at this particular age is considered to be the best age of learning things. For all we know, once people grow old, there’s a lot of things they cannot do. There has always been a lot of argument in education fields about whether they should let children to learn art and music at this age. Some says that it’s a waste of time to learn such things and they should concentrate on their studies. But because personally, I’ve learned piano when I was little, so due to my personal experience, I suggest to the idea that children really should learn art and music at this age.

First of all, like I’ve said before, children are best at absorbing knowledges, they don’t have any limit about what they can do and what they can’t. So the so called potential is bestly raised in this age. They can also obtain interest at the same time. Take two examples to compare. One of my neighbor’s daughter was asked to play violin when she was 6, she gained interest on it and when she was 13, she still loved it. But on the other hand, one boy in my piano class has just started learning it when he was 15, he had trouble practicing it and resented it. He didn’t even past his second grade test.

Secondly, the work of students in senior school or high school is proven to be massive. They don’t have much time to put mind on the study of such things. The academic study burdens the children so that they are not available to practice, which would delay the process of studying. But children at this particular age doesn’t have so much studying work to do and they have enough time to concentrate on fostering their technics. Lets compare me and my sister. When I went into senior school, I doesn’t have so much time to practice my skills. But instead, my sister, at the age of 7, have plenty of time to practice. So she is now a even better player than I am. So I am gaining a conclusion with out hesitating that at the age 5 - 10 is really the golden age of learning such potential things.

Last but not least, this kind of study can interfere with their character in the future. Children at this age is also considered to be the vital age of determine their characters. Learning music and art can help them to have a calm confident character which is very good for their future lives. Again, I think myself is the best example. I was once a very naughty and active kid. But ever since I’ ve learned piano, I can settle down to do things instead of running everywhere or jump up and down without stopping.

Due to the careful consider on my own case, I think I can come to the conclusion that learning art and music has way more advantages than doesn’t. Because of all the benefits it give no matter in characters or in our interests for life. And they can be gained so early in our childhood.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-5 20:57

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All school teachers should be required to take courses every five years to update their knowledge?

The changes in our century is tremendous. There are always updates, no matter in science, math, music, art. In order to catch up with the development, teachers have to find a way to learn all these new findings. But some say that teachers are alright with the knowledge they already had and do not have to learn all these things. I, personally thinks that teachers do need to take such courses to know more. Because it can have a positive influence on the students they are teaching and themselves. Or maybe, even on the development of one country. I will demonstrate my view in the following passage.

For students, they need newest information about their knowledge, for they have to go to work in the future, and in need of those knowledge they have gain, they cannot have old information. If the teacher does not inform them about the changes, it would cost harm to their future careers. Take the telephones for example. The development of such digital tools have always been changing. If the teacher kept the information about changes done in such fields, when a student goes to work, he won’t know about the skills and could not keep up with the work.

Besides the reality side of the question, there is no harm to learn such things. Which can bring benefits both to the teachers and the students. Learning new things is always positive for people. The process of the learning and exploring fascinating new deeds, in the mean while, is a great process. For whats more, if the students learn more, they might attach to the news and develope themselves better. They might have more creative minds or greater ideas. One of my politic class can serve as an example. My teacher learned the new policy coming up about forbiddening smoking. This new policy led to further consideration in the class. We made discussions about the harm of smoking, and the virtue badness in it. Someone even made suggestions about other things he think would be necessary to change.

To gain the knowledge does not only effect the students and teachers that has set hands on it. For as far as we know, the students now will be the main source of development in the future. To update their known for the country’s remaining statement helps them to know how to help the rise a country’s develope. There has been a known story that in China Yuan Long ping was born knowing the crops people born is not exactly beneficial for people. So when he is grown in to an adult, he grown out intergraded crops and massively increased the crop’s quality.

To gather up all these factors and example, it is time that we may come to the conclusion that teachers should take courses to learn knowledge.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-5 20:58

Nowadays it’s easier to maintain health than the past.

The white-hot focus on health care has never died down over the past centuries. People in modern life always look everywhere to find ways to maintain their health. On internet, in books, find professors. But what we don’t know is that, people from the past also care for their health qualities. They always care for what food they eat and what sports they do. Then comes a question: which one is easier to reach the goal, which one can truly maintain their health. Due to the surrounding statement, we regretfully comes to the conclusion that it is easier for people from the past to remain their health.

First, because of the development of cities and the working of the factories, more and more pollution was caused. The nature is strongly frustrated by these operations. The water and air was polluted because of factories, wood was wasted because of the construction of monuments and buildings. Take Beijing for example, its environment is once considered to be one of the best in China,its air fresh and sky blue like the sea. But a few years later, observers found that the air pollution has fiercely increased in Beijing. It’s sky is no longer blue anymore. Some people even get sick from the disastrous environment. How could people maintain their health under such conditions? Instead, the people from the past always lived in a fresh and unpolluted environment which made them more easy to obtain health.

Further more, the modern people have developed themselves their worst enemy against their health, which are those unhealthy food. Such as french fries and burgers. These food strongly cause the balance of body energy to over tilt, because of the large amount of calories enacted from such food. We could not resist to the tempt of eating such food. In comparison, people from the past did not develope such food, they always eat fresh healthy green food which not only is healthy but also very nutritious for their health. We can have the example of two people living now for the replay of comparison in people now and then. Tim, is a person that likes to eat chips and hamburgers. On the other hand, John, a boy that likes to eat fresh clean vegetables. A thorough health test was being made on both of them. Turns out that John is way healthier than Tim. Showing that eating such food really does a negative effect to our own body.

Last but not the least, people nowadays always eat supplements or tonics to maintain their health. Even children drink energy drinks all the time thinking they can get energy back the body. Although it does make effect on the body temporarily, it still does little effect on the real health qualities our body have. The short active body conditions can not be considered as true health either. Which by the people from the past, they take care of their body the whole time, there’s not so much troubling conditions to trouble them, which made them so much easier to maintain their health.

To sum up all these considerations and comparison we draw between people from modern world and the past, we may come to the conclusion regretfully, that it is true people from the past can better obtain higher health qualities.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-5 21:01

getting advice from friends who are older than you is more valuable than getting advice from friends your same age.

Questions were always faced in our lives. Some we can solve on our own, some we cannot. In that time the advices from others are fairly important. The question is, who we should gain it from? Some like to get advices from our peers, some like to ask their seniors. Both sides have reasonable points. The ones that ask their peers think they have the same view on seeing questions and are easier to reason with. The other ones that ask the seniors believe the old people can see questions more deeply. When facing this doubtful question, I choose to ask the ones that are older than me.

The most important part we should consider about advices is that how useful they were. People that are older than us often have more experience and seen more than us. Their words can be proved reliable and trustworthy. Instead, our peers have only the experience that we have had. They cannot provide us with any further suggestions before what we have considered. Take myself for example. I had trouble choosing my elective courses. So I went to enquire about other people’s view. I got two answers. One is from my mother, the other my classmate. My classmate chose art due to the standpoint that it is much fun than other courses. My mother, however, gave me the answer of computers. Because she thought I could learn extra knowledge and technics from this class. Turns out she’s right, the art class did not teach them any actual drawing skills, instead I learned a lot of skills from my computer class.

What’s more, older people often consider questions more deeply than us do. They are in an environment of such people of that age. And after the interference of social surroundings, they are more confident. But same-aged people always give out rational and emotional answers. They are possibly handing out answers that have personal feelings in it, but not the most fit solution. Such as the times when we are right before our final exams, but the mall has a big bargain. The seniors would tell us to stay put and review at home. But at the age of our own, our peers may urge us to go shopping instead of preparing for our exams.

Nonetheless, our peers can see questions at our point of view, and better understand our thoughts and likes. But on the determine of question solutions, we do not see what is the most comfortable for us, we seek for the one that is best to solve the question. For what we know, comfortable is not always right, sometimes good deeds may be difficult. Just like the bargain we have discussed about. Of course shopping is fun and easy-going, but to prepare the exams are way more important than that. And we need people that can think of that to give such advices, make us avoiding mistakes.

To sum up all these sources we can think about this question. I came to the conclusion that in problem solving, to seek answers from our seniors plays a more crucial role than to share ideas between our peers.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-5 21:03

好的交流技巧communication skill,是否是一个politician 或leader的最重要技能。

Communication skills have always been considered as a most important thing in the social contacts. They may interfere with our friend sources, company relationships, colleague relationships in social environments. I believe that a leader, or a politician, should be considered to need more of this kind of skill particularly, because they need to make relationships more than anyone did on business. They need to make contacts with other people, other companies to bring benefit or cooperation.

First of all, the cooperate between different sources are vital for leaders and politicians. Take a company’s administrator for example. He or she needs to deal with the contracts with other companies and with his own partners and staff. Otherwise the company would fail in its operate and come to a very dangerous situation. For politicians, they need to communicate with different kinds of people to demonstrate their point of view on politics, they have to demonstrate clearly so that the people can better understand his or her points. Otherwise no one will be supporting them.

Moreover, they need this kind of skills to better talk to different kinds of people, not only coworkers, but other people as well. If they want to ask someone something and they cannot illustrate their problems so well, they may not get the answers they want, putting themselves and their team into a fairly dangerous situation. It can also play an important part when they are communicating with their staff or their team members. They need to make a harmonious atmosphere of work so that the group won’t be separated and scattered. In that way, a team can work properly and be highly qualified.

But some thinks that the leaders and politicians are those who only give out orders for staff to operate, but they do not set hand on any actual movement. I will answer this prospect by making a hypothesis to demonstrate. What if they don’t have any communicational skills? What if they are really only giving orders? The answer is quiet obvious. For company leaders, if they are only saying and does not do anything, there’s no one left to do any decisions, there’s no one that can negotiate and stand up with other companies, to debate with opponents and to keep the team together. It’s more obvious on politicians, they are the ones to demonstrate and explain their thoughts and view about certain politic events, there’s no one that can do it for them, they are the only ones that can speak out, they speak for themselves.

To gather up all this managements leaders and politicians have to do by using their communication skills, we can easily come to the conclusion that this particular technic in language is vital for them to stand on the social backgrounds they are in.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-6 18:17

2014-2-6

题目：People attend college or university for many different reasons( for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.(OG1)

The part that colleges and universities play in modern life has grown more and more important. People choose to attend college and universities for use of many purposes. Like some was tempting to get work experience and skills, some was for deeper and wider knowledge storage. The commitment of a university also has a great influence on job references and respect of others in environments. It has been put as a standard for people’s abilities and culture grades. I can list a few reasons that people attend universities for you in the following paragraphs.

The most obvious reason that anyone knows is its importance for future career. The world is developing in to a more high-ranking one, and so is the require for education quality. People think that students that has gone to college and university obviously have more studying ability and far consideration since they past the SAT test. Like when to resume was put before the deputy of one company, one is only up to high school, however the other one has gone all the way to college. The chooser would think the university student would have more ability and brains for its companies work. So a certificate of university graduation can always be a key to open the door to a good job. Plus, certain jobs have to require the skills to do the job, people can learn these requirements in college. Such as being a doctor, people have to learn how to do operations or give out medicines. And college, is a perfect host for all those needs.

Besides actual use in socialize living consideration, students thought more about their knowledge obtain problems. The seniors and peers in college often holds more profound views on questions and deeper knowledge. To study with these students can learn a lot from them. Such as their thinking and studying ways. Moreover, their knowledge. Like when my sister is still in high school, she still holds the thought of asking the help from parents when she faces problems. However when she reaches college, she learned to handle problems and to solve them on her own and to use her own mind to think of solutions from her friends and seniors.

Partly from all the experiences we can obtain from other college and university students, the process of learning is also very valuable. The classes in college can help students to learn knowledge in a clear system, which can help students to understand these knowledges more easily. But if we learn on our own, we might easily be confused by the enormous amount of information given upon us in subjects. Plus, in college we can have all the answers we need that are held to the questions we generate. Teachers and surrounding students can produce a more professional answer which can help us learn right instead of going the wrong way we expect. Jason, a student in college once had several problems about his anthropology class. So he went to his professor to find answers. The professor give him specific answers and a few book names for him to study by. He would never found the answers and the books on his own base of information. Those directions helped him a lot on that subject.

To gather up all those good influence we can find from attending college, I will say that people went to college is due on such reasons: to obtain valuable job experience and commitment for their ability which is vital for interviews; and the precious characters and knowledge they can gain from the process of learning.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-7 23:33
P姐驾到!

我成功啦!偷偷抱来了P姐姐的宝贝图,太好玩了!我太喜欢啦!最主要是我也有一个能动的图啦!

作者: 铁板神猴 时间: 2014-2-14 23:37

risedream 发表于 2014-1-29 19:53
2014-1-29
题目：Should we require our young children (age 5-10) to learn music and art in addition t ...

Hi risedream,

时间所限，我只能先修改其中一篇回复给你。请下载附件。所有修改以修订的方式发给了你。你可以在word中，1. 选择右键，接受或者拒绝“修订”，来修改最终文章；2. 在word2010上方有个项目叫“审阅”，点进去，中间靠右边有快捷按钮“接受”or “拒绝”。

注意当你自己需要写新的修改内容时，去掉“修订”状态。重起一行，写新的内容。

我比较注重在已有的文章上精改，反复改。然后得出一套自己写TOEFL作文的既有套路。希望我们能够一篇彻底反复修改完毕后，再进行下一篇。

Good Luck！

Leon

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-15 06:49
非常感谢神猴老师!马上看!
您第二次指点我多改了

,我记着的,现在时间特别不够用呢.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-15 07:24

铁板神猴发表于 2014-2-14 23:37
Hi risedream,

时间所限，我只能先修改其中一篇回复给你。请下载附件。所有修改以修订的方式发给了你。 ...

改得太好了!神猴老师,我看了有种您比我还知道我的感觉,我只是为了写例子去写结构,并不清楚为什么要写这个例子,对主题的作用也不会把握.您和小鹤鹤老师都指出我内容上的问题.您的分析给我好多启发,怎么立意,怎么切题,如何展开.老师的指点和讲解好细致,非常非常感谢!这一段感觉自己越学越觉得自己好多要学的,虽然看了好多,看老师改自己的,感受更深,更明白了那些讲解的含义了.
还要谢谢老师教我修订,我还没学会,那个审阅为什么点了就把最有用的修改看不到了呢?我不用审阅,我把再次修订学会就行啦.

作者: 铁板神猴 时间: 2014-2-15 14:51

risedream 发表于 2014-2-15 07:24
改得太好了!神猴老师,我看了有种您比我还知道我的感觉,我只是为了写例子去写结构,并不清楚为什么要写这个 ...

嗯那个的作用相当于修改完最终版本就是终稿的作用如果想要留下修改痕迹可以另存一份

加油~

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-15 20:51

铁板神猴发表于 2014-2-15 14:51
嗯那个的作用相当于修改完最终版本就是终稿的作用如果想要留下修改痕迹可以另存一份加油~ ...

谢谢神猴老师。
这个修改稿是个大宝贝，退出时我没点保存修改，保持着它的原样呢。

作者: yen921112 时间: 2014-2-17 00:02
哈哈哈，真好哈！

作者: yen921112 时间: 2014-2-17 00:03
谢谢楼主啊！

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-17 00:21

yen921112 发表于 2014-2-17 00:03
谢谢楼主啊！

我感觉这儿全是应该我谢谢的,实在没有可谢我的啊.也谢谢你来这儿.

作者: yen921112 时间: 2014-2-17 19:26

risedream 发表于 2014-2-17 00:21
我感觉这儿全是应该我谢谢的,实在没有可谢我的啊.也谢谢你来这儿. ...

嘿嘿嘿，同谢同谢，加个好友哈！

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-17 21:10

yen921112 发表于 2014-2-17 19:26
嘿嘿嘿，同谢同谢，加个好友哈！

谢谢,加上了.一起加油学吧!

作者: yen921112 时间: 2014-2-17 21:15

risedream 发表于 2014-2-17 21:10
谢谢,加上了.一起加油学吧!

OK，哈哈哈~！看你的头像就是你很认真啊！

作者: Crystaljoy 时间: 2014-2-19 16:37

risedream 发表于 2014-1-22 20:37
老师，我想问问您呢，写作文没有思路是该怎么办，去看什么呢？求教~

我当时看张红岩的这本书，对托福写作有了一个清晰的认识。
http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-732774-1-1.html

一般我的论证思路就是what-explain-why-conclusion. 顺着这个思路写，是不是简单些了呢？

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-19 19:19

Crystaljoy 发表于 2014-2-19 16:37
我当时看张红岩的这本书，对托福写作有了一个清晰的认识。
http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-732774-1 ...

哇!鸟儿姐姐!看到你太惊喜了!

的确以这种结构好写多了，眼前豁然开朗的感觉，很妙的思想呢！鸟儿姐姐，我按这个试着做，再体会。

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-23 19:57
2014.2.23
原来神猴版主帮忙改的，遵照嘱咐再次改了一遍，谢谢老师！
题目：Should we require our young children (age 5-10) to learn music and art in addition to math, science, history, and language.

The education on young children of the age 5 to 10 has always been doubtful and a lot of debate has run over this question. Some say that it is extremely wrong to force extra studying pressures of art and music besides their daily study of prior classes such as math. But as a matter of a fact, it is not what they think, I will explain why in the following aspects of mine.

First of all, to learn music or art is not putting extra stress but in fact, just the opposite. To do so is to reduce the stress caused upon us by the major classes. We all know from our own childhood studies that after a day’s study of math, history, science classes, we could get very exhausted and frustrated, by then, some music will do the work of heal, or to draw some pictures might help too. I had a hard time once preparing my final exams, I was left behind on my studies and there’s a lot of work, so I always listen to some music when I am too tired and sleepy, it kept me energetic and awake. As a special formula my mother once told me, that it was 8 minus 1 is greater than 8, the “1” is the rest of art and music. It has a useful reflect of relaxing one’s mind.

What’s more, by learning such things can actually help them to develope a life long interest. Because children at this age is accepting a lot of information about the world, of what they can do, and they can determine a future dream of what they are going to do or be. Learning such things surely create more options and more wide views for them. My big brother, Paul, had some contact with a guitar player and his band when he was at the age of 8, he admired the colorful and rhythm songs they can make with those instruments that seem so mysterious to him then, so he made up his mind to be a musician and to establish his own band in the future. He started to get on hand about his dream, such as learning guitar and reading such books and watch such videos to guide him what to do. Turns out he was quiet successful and is a relatively famous musician in that area.

Of course, some children do not like to be forced to learn something aside from what they are already acquired. Or for some concerns, that they would probably object the idea or hate to learn music and art. That could all happen, but, however, most kids like to learn music and art. And there is no such worrying about they can not handle the knowledge. As we know, this is something that acquires potential and great learning abilities. Children at that age and absorb new knowledge at amazing speed. They do not have the limit like most adults do, because we lost the flexibility of studying. I once wanted to learn drawing pretty bad so I asked my mother to accompany me to learn in an art class. After a few weeks, I became better in drawing but my mother still could not get the slight idea of how to draw.

作者: risedream 时间: 2014-2-23 20:00
2014.2.23
前面小鹤鹤版主给我改的一篇，也重新写了写。真的很谢谢老师！！

题目：大学生是否不用上课，只要考试就够了。

Since students started to not attend the school, a debate arouses in the education fields. Some would say that it is right because students will spare the time on traveling between home to school and do better studies. The professor’s thought can all be learned in the textbook and going to class is unnecessary. But I think otherwise. I will explain my point of view in the following aspects I personally believe.

First of all, textbooks do not cover up all the knowledges that will be tested. The recent textbooks have been arranged to only give the vague outline of one certain concept but not the details to explain the concept. Yet, it is just the details professors want to see in an answer of the questions. So not going to classes to hear about what the professor explains, may have caused the risk of failing in their exams.I once did not attent my science class because I went to help some other teacher on an experiment. And the next class the teacher asked us to finish a little test. Unfortunately, I did not hear the class and I could not find the details on the book, which means I can not prepare enough for the test. So when the results came out, I only get a C in that chapter. It was really a destined failure.

Moreover, the coverage of knowledge has grown deeper and wider because of the up-rising technology in modern world. The textbook no longer has the ability to show or demonstrate the exact views of modern society. On the other hand, the professor can catch up with the current changes and could direct us to understand them better with out any lag. My sister’s history class was once considered to be boring. Then some name change has been made upon several graves of the past and the phenomenons of past social world in which the textbook was not aware of, but due to her usual habit, she still did not concentrate on the class. So when the test asks about the changed in formation, she does not even know that it had changed, she still stick to her old memories and in the end, and undoubtedly earned a bad degree of B.

To gaze back, it is not that staying at home to study is not entirely negative. Such as we can get less interference when we are at home. No one would shout or chat around us, creating a perfect environment to study. But, such environment can also be found on campus. Such as the lawns or the library. Not only the problem is solved, but also we can have the passing knowledge professors hand out to us in class.

Finally, we can come to the conclusion that to attend classes has way more advantages than to stay at home. Not only because of all the aspects we have talked about, but also because one might get lazy and inattentive when they are at home. But at school, with all those people around us, one might gain a very positive mood of studying.

作者: perfectends 时间: 2014-2-23 21:46

Crystaljoy 发表于 2014-2-19 16:37
我当时看张红岩的这本书，对托福写作有了一个清晰的认识。
http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-732774-1 ...

鸟妈也来啦~

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