ChaseDream

标题: 大家看看这篇渣Issue够不够3分.. [打印本页]

作者: huwenjie333 时间: 2013-12-30 20:43
标题: 大家看看这篇渣Issue够不够3分..
我今天特意找了一篇自己没写过提纲的issue，然后掐着30分钟写了下，于是杯具地出来这副模样，中间段都来不及展开，所有的拼写语法错误都保留了，想问下大家万一考试的时候真的碰到没写过提纲写成这样的渣文，不知还有3分没？

Issue 26 The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into trulystrong and independent individuals.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statementand explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position,you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain howthese considerations shape your position.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the statement, the speaker argues that nowadays the luxuries and conveniences of the contemporary life inhibit the people in the such society from becoming the independent and strong individuals. From mypoint of view, I agree with the claim in the statement that the mordern cozy life have the negative effects on the development of our citizens.

First of all, the luxuries and conveniences of mordern life bring us the more enjoyment in the entertainment as well as the higher efficiency to deal with our daily work. The technology in recent years bring us more recreational product like televison and computer games. Such alluring products make us spend more time on the enjoyment that they provide. Other technoly like washer significantly increase the efficiency of the clothes washing and save alot of time for the housework.

The factors prevent us from becoming strong and independt indidual is our willingness to have entertainment rather than to work, and our reliance of the mordern techology and services.

Such factors are related to the conveniences and lexuries of our mordern lives, and it can be justifiably concluded that the features of mordern citizens mentioned in the statement result from the cozy mordern lives. For example, as we enthrall more in the video games or televion programs, our focus is drawn on this side and have less willingness to spend time on the woek. Similarly, the washer do increase the efficiency and save our time, but it also create the reliance of us to the techonology and make us unable to wash clothes soly by our hand. Therefore, we become less inpendent due to the existence of the conveniences of lives that the technology provide us.

To sum up,I agree with the speakers statement that the luxuous convinient life make us less be a struly strong and independent individuals because the entertainment and the efficency they bring create the laziness and the reliance of us. Todeal with such problem. we should emphasize the education for our independenceas welll as the determinancy of our mind.

[size=9.000000pt]

作者: francophile 时间: 2014-1-2 14:12
字数太少了,template还是要用下,尤其是如果打字慢..拼写错误不少,如果是第一段集中,这个其实才致命,如果最后收尾时间不够就仓促点没事,要抽至少1分般 check spelling mistakes.
AWA 3分 percentile 才百分之十几,这个不行滴..起码起码4分.

欢迎光临 ChaseDream (https://forum.chasedream.com/)