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标题: 大家看看我这篇作文可以打几分？新人考GMAT，没底 [打印本页]

作者: yi9bunny 时间: 2013-9-17 21:57
标题: 大家看看我这篇作文可以打几分？新人考GMAT，没底
作文题目，其实是OG 13上的题目：

The following appeared in an announcement issued by the publisher of The Mercury, a weekly newspaper:

"Since a competing lower-priced newspaper, The Bugle, was started five years ago, The Mercury's circulaion has declined by 10,000 readers. The best way to get more people to read The Mercury s to reduce its price below that of The Bugle, at elast until circulation increases to former levels. The increased circulation of The Mercury will attract more businesses to buy advertising space in the paper."

Discuss how well reasoned...etc.

下面是我写的作文：

The announcement concludes that The Mercuryhas to reduce the price as below as The Bugle, at least until circulationincreases to former level, and via this method, more and more advertisementwould be sold in the paper. The author makes a comparison with The Bugle, butthe comparison actually leads the author to an invalid conclusion, because theconclusion is based on several assumptions.

To begin with, the author assumes that thecirculation decline of The Mercury is due to The Bugle. The announcement doesnot list the reason to support this assumption. Normally, in an economicenvironment, a lot of factors could impact the circulation of newspaper. It isentirely possible that the circulation decline of The Mercury is caused by therecession of economy that people don’t want to spend money on newspaper. It isalso possible that the internet is replacing newspaper to be the major media topeople. Therefore, to blame the decline on Bugle is unfair without any dataevidence.

Secondly, even though the decline ofcirculation is truly caused by the competitor, The Bugle, the author fails toconclude that the low price is the critical factor to impact The Mercury. Priceis just one of the elements of competition. Perhaps, readers are changing thenewspaper to The Bugle just because they are tired of the old layout of TheMercury, the bias critics on The Mercury and the old version of The Mercury.When the new newspaper, The Bugle, appears, the readers just found analternative to replace the old habit.

Finally, even though the decline ofcirculation is truly caused by the low price of The Bugle, the author stillmakes another invalid assumption on the conclusion. The author assumes that theincreased circulation would attract the business of advertisement. Before theadvertisement agency makes a decision to buy the business on a paper, theagency has to consider various factors, such as whether the product taste ismatch with the paper, whether the reader of the paper is the audience of theadvertisement and whether the circulation is high. Thus, circulation is justone of the factors to consider, and it is possible that even if the circulationis high, the agency still will not buy the business because of the differenttaste.

To sum up, the author fails to convince meto agree this announcement is workable in future. I suggest that sufficientdata evidence and clear investigation is necessary to find out the root causeof the decline, and meanwhile, a pervasive clarification of attraction to theadvertisement agency is also mandatory.

作者: yi9bunny 时间: 2013-9-17 23:01
大家给点意见撒~~~

作者: yi9bunny 时间: 2013-9-18 10:31
各位牛人。。。帮忙啦~~~

作者: yi9bunny 时间: 2013-9-18 22:25
大家有何高见？

作者: Belindax 时间: 2013-10-5 22:18
4.。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

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