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标题: 【大四党最后一站作文28,感谢CDer】卡门的作文帖,求狠批!11.24大四党最后一战 [打印本页]
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-8-27 17:57
标题: 【大四党最后一站作文28,感谢CDer】卡门的作文帖,求狠批!11.24大四党最后一战
【8.26】
Do you agree the professional athletes such as the football player andbasketball player deserve high salaries to be paid?
Recently the topic of whether the professional athletes deserve highsalaries to be paid has aroused heated discussion. Unfair as it looks at firstsight, paying more for the professional athletes than for others is actuallyreasonable from a profound perspective. Several factors, such as the hugeprofits they bring and the hard work they pay contribute to the issue.Therefore, I note that the professional athletes deserve high salaries to bepaid. The reasons will be furtherillustrated as follows.
To begin with, the professional athletes, especially those famous ones,bring a huge amount of profits to their club. For instance, the annual salaryof YaoMing, the famous Chinese basketball player who serves for NBA, is about10 million dollars, which is pretty high for most common people. While thenumber of his annual salary is only about one tenth of the profits that he canmake to his club through his personal influence such as some fans buy thecompetition tickets in order to support their idol. So considering hiscontributions made to the club, Yao is qualified as such a high salaries paidbasketball player, so are other professional athletes.
Moreover, in order to be professional athletes, they have to pay copiousamount of hard work behind people. For example, Messi, the famous footballplayer, has to train everyday and only has rested few days over the past decadesince he has become a professional football player. In addition, theprofessional athletes not only are under huge mental pressure since their tinymistake in competition may lead to the total failure of their team, but alsohave to bear many physical injuries and pains. No pains, no gains. Therefore,their high salaries are compatible to their hard working.
Admittedly, it is undeniable that the salaries paid for those professionalathletes such as football player and basketball players are much higher thancommon people. However, they pay much more than common people and they play animportant role in the field, too. Hence their high value makes them deserved highsalaries.
Taking all the factors discussed above into consideration, I believe thatthe professional athletes deserve high salaries to be paid.
字数:363(感觉略少,但是不知道谢什么了)
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-8-28 11:25
【8.28】
独立:
Do you agree or disagree with the opinion:
People who cannot accept the criticism from others will not be successfulat working in a group.
Agree.
1.membersaccepting criticisms means the virtue of modesty, which isneccessary for a person to succeed
e.g. Lishi Min, Wei Zheng, a mirror. the spectators see clearer in thechess game than the players
2.criticisms stem from various ideas which are indispensible at theteamwork;
e.g. Paul, the group leader in commercial competition; didn't acceptcriticisms of other group members; finally failed; Paul lost the trust of other
Admittedly, criticisms are not always right, (but) should take them intoconsideration carefully instead of just ignoring
As the Chinese ole saying goes, an effective medicine is bitter to thetaste and the practical advise is harsh to ear, which means that acceptingcriticisms is very essential though a little hard. Important to stick to one'sown oppinion as it looks at first sight, ignoring the criticism from otherswill definitely not bring the success to a person at working in a group.Several factors contribute to this issue. Therefore, I note that people whorefuse to accept criticisms will not be successful at teamwork.
To begin with, accepting criticisms in some extent means being modest,which is a neccessary virtue for a person to succeed. I am a big fan of thatthe spectators see clearer in the chess game than the players. Lishi Min, theemperor in Tang dynasty, is a good example of accepting criticisms of others.He has a minister named Wei Zheng who always proposes advice and criticisms tothe emperor Li, and even in a direct way, especially when others do not dare tosay any words. Once the emperor Li wanted to build a palace which would cost alarge amount of money as a gift for his favorite princess, Wei fiercelyrejected this plan saying that the money should be used for citizens instead ofjust pleasing a princess. Obviously the emperor Li was pretty angry with Wei atthe very beginning, while after thinking over, he accepeted the criticism anddecided to make more contributions to citizens with the money. It is thecriticisms of Wei that make the emperor Li a brilliant one in Chinese history.Therefore, just as the famous saying of the emperor Li goes, criticism is a mirrorreflecting one's defects.
Moreover, criticisms of others stem from various perspective to an issue,which are indispensible for a team to succeed. This concept may be tooabstract----let me raise an convinving example to break down this statement. OnceI participated in a commercial competition with several classmates and Paul wasour group leader because of his professional knowledge. As the competitionprogressed, our team lagged behind of others groups. We discussed to find wherethe problems were. And we thought it was because Paul put too much attention onone field and ignored others.And he was criticised by other team members andsuggested to change our direction. However, he not only denied those criticismsbut also acted arbitrarily which finally resulted in the failure of our teamand the lost of our trust for him. Hence people who can not accept criticismsof others and go their own way will not obtain others' trust in the group.
Admittedly, those criticisms of others are not always right and thushelpful, while it is important to distinguish to take in. However, people needto take the criticisms of others into consideration and then make decisionsinstead of just ignoring or rejecting them.
By way of conclusion, I reaffirm my view that it ishighly rewarding for people to accept criticisms of others. By doing this,people can succeed at working in a group.
综合写作晚些放上~~!!
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-8-30 18:41
【8.29】
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The most important investment for a big company is to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees.
Disagree.
1.advanced technology and equipments; R&D; creation
e.g. during Industrial Revolution; skilled workers were replaced by steam engine and other machinery inventions
no matter how efficient and proficient the workers were, they couldn't compete with
2. welfare for employees
e.g. a friend in a commercial bank, be rewarded 20% of the amount of deposit that he brings to the bank
not only an incentive for employees to be more..., but also a method for companies to retain those employees with high...
admittedly, train is very important, but not the most important; to improve the skill is not whole responsibility of a company, but also a task of employees their own
Nowadays it is very common in big companies to have their employees trained periodically in order to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees. A great weapon to win as it looks at first sight, for a big company investing a lot on improving the efficiency and proficiency of its employees is not the most important. Several factors, such as the advanced technology and welfare, contribute to this issue. Therefore, I note that it is not the most investment for a big company to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees.
To begin with, it is more important, as least not less, to invest on bringing in and creating advanced technology and equipments than improving employees' skills. In this society with rapid development, if a big company wants to take a share on the market, it is essential to value the Research and Development highly and have its own core technology. This statement might be too abstract----let me take an example to illustrate it. Before the Industrial Revolution, there were a large number of skilled workers in clothes factories. They were efficient and proficient repeating the same works every day. While after the steam engine was invented and more machines were brought into factories, most of the skilled workers were replaced and not matter how efficient and proficient they were, they could not compete with machines because more profits could be made for factories with machines. Therefore, if a big company can catch the trend and have its core technology and equipments advanced, it will not need to invest too much on having employees' skill improved.
In addition, investment on welfare and bonus for employees also plays an important role for a big company. Only if the employees are satisfied, would they are willing to make more contributions to the company. I am a big fan of the incentive management. I have a friend working in a commercial bank, and in the bank there is a rule---- an employee will be rewarded twenty percent of the amount of deposit he brings to the bank. And because of the desire for the bonus, the employees are more engaged to bring the deposit as much as they can. As a result, the bank makes lots of profit every year. Moreover, investing on the bonus and welfare for employees is not only an incentive for them to improve their skills, but also a method for companies to retain those employees already with high efficiency and proficiency.
Admittedly, it is a very vital investment for a big company to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees, but it is not the most important aspect; to improve the skill is not the whole responsibility of the company, but also a required task of employees their own.
Taking all the factors discussed above into consideration, many other investments for a big company are indispensable and the one to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees is just one of those important aspects, but not the most important one.
作者: vincytao 时间: 2013-8-30 22:47
Nowadays it is very common in big companies to have their employees trained periodically in order to improve the efficiency and proficiency of their employees. A great weapon to win as it looks at first sight, for a big company investing a lot on improving the efficiency and proficiency of its employees is not the most important. Several factors, such as the advanced technology and welfare, contribute to this issue. Therefore, I note that it is not the most investment for a big company to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees.
To begin with, it is more important, as least not less, to invest on bringing in and creating advanced technology and equipments than improving employees' skills. In this society with rapid development, if a big company wants to take a share on the market, it is essential to value the Research and Development highly and have its own core technology. This statement might be too abstract----let me take an example to illustrate it. Before the Industrial Revolution, there were a large number of skilled workers in clothes factories. They were efficient and proficient repeating the same works every day. While after the steam engine was invented and more machines were brought into factories, most of the skilled workers were replaced and not matter how efficient and proficient they were, they could not compete with machines because more profits could be made for factories with machines. Therefore, if a big company can catch the trend and have its core technology and equipments advanced, it will not need to invest too much on having employees' skill improved.
In addition, investment on welfare and bonus for employees also plays an important role for a big company. Only if the employees are satisfied, would they are willing to make more contributions to the company. I am a big fan of the incentive management. I have a friend working in a commercial bank, and in the bank there is a rule---- an employee will be rewarded twenty percent of the amount of deposit he brings to the bank. And because of the desire for the bonus, the employees are more engaged to bring the deposit as much as they can. As a result, the bank makes lots of profits every year. Moreover, investing on the bonus and welfare for employees is not only an incentive for them to improve their skills, but also a method for companies to retain those employees already with high efficiency and proficiency.
Admittedly, it is a very vital investment for a big company to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees, but it is not the most important aspect; to improve the skill is not the whole responsibility of the company, but also a required task of employees their own.
Taking all the factors discussed above into consideration, many other investments for a big company are indispensable and the one to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees is just one of those important aspects, but not the most important one.
楼主写的真的是太好了~本来想把好句子都标出来,但是我看了看真的都不错。就没有具体标出来。就有个别地方主谓不一致
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-8-30 23:37
vincytao 发表于 2013-8-30 22:47
Nowadays it is very common in big companies to have their employees trained periodically in order to ...
别这么说~~其实除了语法错误,我更希望能得到一些表达多样性上的指导~总觉得自己一样的话来回来去说,想变但又不会说~~~所以有什么好的表达尽管告诉我哈~~~
作者: cloverlisa 时间: 2013-8-31 02:51
红色小错,黄色句子,绿色段落结构
Do you agree the professional athletes such as the football player andbasketball player deserve high salaries to be paid?
Recently the topic of whether the professional athletes deserve highsalaries to be paid (此处是不是要加个 or not) has aroused heated discussion. Unfair as it looks at firstsight(这个句式赞的,定于提前表强调), paying more for the professional athletes than for others is actuallyreasonable 拼写注意from a profound perspective. Several factors, such as the hugeprofits (又连写?) they (我觉得这个THEY去掉吧,前面是个插入语,如果你想表示主语是factors) bring and 去掉 the hard work they 指代不明吧 pay contribute (此处两个动词要逆天?)to the issue.原谅我后来读懂了这句话,你想说的是Several factors, such as huge profits ...... and the hard work......, contribute to the issue,pay 的后面少个“,”,断句真的要段半天呢Therefore, I note that the professional athletes deserve high salaries to bepaid (去掉呗). The reasons will be furtherillustrated (空格,亲)as follows.
此段结构,S1,引出背景 S2, 表明是reasonable S3, 写一些影响的因素 S4,表明立场 S5,看官且看下段分解。这段还是比较中规中矩的写法,顺延,因果,强调
To begin with, the professional athletes, especially those famous ones,bring a huge amount of profits to their club. For instance, the annual salaryof YaoMing, the famous Chinese basketball player who serves for NBA, is about10 million dollars, which is pretty high for most common people. While thenumber (可用Profortion替代,还有空格 )of his annual salary is only about one tenth of the profits that he canmake to his club through his personal influence such as (后面加名字,不加从句 可改成 which stimulates.相应后面改to buy)some fans buy thecompetition tickets in order to support their idol. 整句话由while 引导,缺乏主句,可将while 改成HOWEVER So(为避免与后一个so 重复,可改成 Therefore, ) considering hiscontributions made to the club, Yao is qualified as such a high salaries paid 去掉 basketball player, so are other professional athletes. 这个倒桩好
围绕观点专业运动员给俱乐部带来很大利润,这个主题据我觉得少些什么东西好像,但是姚明例子中有说到他的个人收获其实很小,所以高薪不过分,还是蛮围绕中心的。
Moreover, in order to be professional athletes, they (我觉得改成 in order to become professional, the athletes比较顺) have to pay copiousamount of hard work behind people. For example, Messi, the famous footballplayer, has to train everyday and only has rested few days over the past decadesince he has become a professional football player. In addition, theprofessional athletes not only are under huge mental pressure since their tinymistake in competition may lead to the total failure of their team, but alsohave to bear many physical injuries and pains. “No pains, no gains. “引用古语加引号Therefore,their high salaries are compatible to their hard working.
主题是运动员付出了很多艰辛为成为专业选手。仍旧是接下来开始举例MESSI,休息少,联系多。递进,专业运动员,压力大,最后总结高薪和努力分不开。
Admittedly, it is undeniable that the salaries paid for those professionalathletes such as football player and basketball players are much higher thancommon people. However, they pay much more than common people and they play animportant role in the field, too. Hence their high value makes them deserved highsalaries.
倒数第二段让步,承认事实,运动员高薪,反驳,付出的比普通人多,高价值导致高收益,还是比较中规中矩的写法,有适当的连词,但句式变化不大
Taking all the factors discussed above into consideration, I believe thatthe professional athletes deserve high salaries to be paid.
结尾虽然扣题但是收的略仓促,可以再展开一下,比如咱们应该学习运动员的拼搏精神,而不要纠结于他们的高收入,因为任何一个有过努力付出的人都会得到回报的
总评: 优点 1.观点紧扣主题,做了适当的举例和展开
2.结构清晰,有适当过渡连词
3.有适当的句式变化,行文流畅
4.有长短结合的句式,使文章有节奏感 比如很多处 主语,插入语, 谓语+宾语。。。
缺点 1. 亲,你要学会打空格,这个真的很多问题,考场一定留时间检查
2.高级词汇运用较少,可背一些相关方面的大词,让考官眼前一亮
3.语法错误较多,建议一定写的时候分好主谓宾,然后看到连词就想到是不是有主句从句,不要孤零零得放在那里
4.要多尝试各种论证方法除了举例意外,比如比喻,让步,排比,反问
sorry,抱歉回晚了,因为我前两天再忙录取的事情,阴差阳错的,我已经In了一所欧洲商学院,所以以后就不参加小分队了。亲,请重新分下组,忘了我吧。。。。祝好。。
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-8-31 16:31
cloverlisa 发表于 2013-8-31 02:51
红色小错,黄色句子,绿色段落结构
Do you agree the professional a ...
谢谢这么认真帮我批改~!!
作者: cloverlisa 时间: 2013-9-1 18:02
carmensh 发表于 2013-8-31 16:31
谢谢这么认真帮我批改~!!
哈哈,不客气,小伙伴,加油加油加油!
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-10-30 22:57
10.29
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The effective leader tries to make others feel they have been part of a decision.
The role of a leader playing in a team is always one of the most important factors that contribute to the best result. An effective leader has to connect all team members together as a whole to run a project perfectly. To achieve this goal, therefore, I note that the effective leader tries to make others feel they have been part of a decision. The reasons will be further illustrated as follows.
To begin with, the team members will feel being respected if they participate in the process of decision. For example, last I took part in a project and my team leader was a classmate named Tom. Every time when we discussed to run the project, Tom would ask each of us to state our opinions before final decisions. Also, when making decisions, our views were taken into consideration and we voted for the final decision. During this process, all of us felt we had been part of the decision and we all had the right to express ourselves instead of just being subject to the leader. Consequently, we were really inspired to make our own contributions to the team. Therefore, it is essential for a leader to be effective to tie every member in the process of decision.
Moreover, the team members will be more responsible if they recognize their important role in the team. Responsibility is a necessary factor in all team works in civilized society. Without it, nothing could ever be brought to a conclusion; everything would be in a state of chaos. The leader, who is assigning works to others and making the final decisions, should have everyone felt associated with the process. The members therefore feel being valued instead of being overlooked and are inspired to be more active so as to make the best result. As a result, the leader has copious ideas from different points of view. Taking all these issues into account, team will definitely have the best decision with the lowest risk.
Admittedly, sometimes it is time- consuming and low efficient to consider so many opinions from others to make the decision. But it is the lead who makes the final decision, and most importantly, no matter whether in the end the suggestions are taken over or not, to make the members feel part of the decision is the secret of an effective leader.
By way of conclusion, I reaffirm that the effective leader tries to make others feel they have been part of the decision. It makes others feel that they are respected and useful in the team, and motives them to work more actively and diligently.
作者: 修一一 时间: 2013-10-31 11:21
carmensh 发表于 2013-10-30 22:57
10.29
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The effective leader tries to make othe ...
看了楼主给我改的作文,改的真的很好~学习了!
你的我也改完啦~~~共同进步!
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-11-11 11:51
11.11 TPO7综合
In the reading material, the author holds the opinion that it is unlikely that wood companies in the United States will adopt new, ecologically friendly practices in order to receive ecocertification. While the professor reputes this view by presenting three reasons.
Firstly, the author thinks that American consumers do not trust much the products labeled "new" or" improved". However, the professor disagrees with this pointview by aguring that American consumers do not treat different product in the same way. They would be confident in the ecocertification label and if the wood products have that, they would react favorably due to the international reputation.
Secondly, the author holds the view that American consumers would not buy the ecocertified wood products due to higher price. While the professor points out that consumers will choose the lower priced products if the price difference is huge, but if the difference is small, like less than five percent, they would make their decisions balancing the value and the price. Since the ecoceitified wood products protect the environment and thus have huge value, American consumers are likely to buy them.
Thirdly, the author claims that pursuing certification would make sense for American wood companies only if they marketed most of their products abroad, while in contrast they sell their products in the United States. On the contrary, the professor presents the fact that American consumers care a lot the global trend, so if they find they slow capture the trend, they are prone to choose foreign wood products with certification. In that case American companies would face huge foreigh competition, resulting from foreign companies crowding into the American market.
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-11-11 21:52
11.11独立
The rule is a necessary part in all public affairs in modern society. Significant as it looks at first sight, nowadays the rules that young people have been brought to follow and obey are too strict for them. Several factors, such as the feasibility and rationality, contribute to the consequence. Therefore, I note that the rules the whole society today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. The reasons will be illustrated as followings.
To begin with, our society requires young people to satisfy the demand of job as soon as they graduate from school. Young people are expected to master various skills, be equipped with social experience and even be familiar enough with the operations at work. However, this requirement is pretty unreasonable since the education young people have received do not provide them with all these things. For example, my elder brother, Lee, who majored in international business and graduated last year, was an outstanding student during the university. However, when he entered a internatinal trade company, he found that he could not reach the requirement of job since what he learned from textbooks in school were too theorical to apply in his job. He could not learn those practical experience needed at work from the class. Hence, the modern society rules young people too strictly.
Moreoever, young people live in a society that puts too much emphasis on the goal to be the top one, thus ignore the young people's own interests in studying, violating the essence of education. China, in particular, put young people in such an environment since very child. Kindergarden children go so far as to learn english, and take classes learning painting, piano and so on. They have to follow and obey such a social rule because their parents have great ambitions for them----not being dropped by others and even being top one. Under this society value, young people have been brought to learn what could give them an edge instead of what they are really interested in. Therefore, this kind of rule is too strict and totally dispensable.
Admittedly, so necessary are rules as a part in all public affairs that without it, nothing could be brought into a conlusion; everything would be in a state of chaos. However, some rules are too strict for young people due to the unfeasibility and unrationality.
To sum up, I reaffirm that the rules the whole society today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict, thus the modern society is supposed to bear some tolerance of young people.
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-11-12 21:42
11.12 TPO8综合
Some critics have raised doubts about the accuracy of Chevalier's memoir, while in the lecture the professor proves the accuracy by presenting three reasons.
Firstly, critics claim that the Chevalier was not as wealthy in Switzerlan as what he claimed in his memoir by showing evidence that he borrowed considerable sums of money from a Swiss merchant. While the professor holds a contradict view that Chevalier borrowed money not because he was poor, but because the money needed to be converted to pay for the gambling, so he borrowed money from others while waiting for the arrival of the money.
Secondly, critics are skeptical about the accuract of the conversations that the Chevalier records in the memoir because it was written many years after the conversations occurred. The professor refutes this view by arguing that the Chevalier talked to the famous writer Voltaire each night and wrote down whatever he could remembered. And these exact phrases were confirmed by the speakers.
Thirdly, critics do not believe that the Chevalier escaped from a notorious prison on his own, instead he must have been aided by his politically well-connected friends and the jailers were bribed to free him. However, the professor claims that at that time there were many prisoners in that prison who had more politically well-connected friends, but they all were not freed by the jailers. Moreover, according to an old government document, the ceilling of the prison needed to be repaired after the Chevalier escaped, which also proved that he did make a hole in the ceiling and then escaped by himself.
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-11-12 22:34
11.10独立
[attach]133183[/attach]
作者: blackjack201303 时间: 2013-11-13 11:55
小伙伴,光棍节礼物改好鸟!不好意思哈!
还有,那个red rape是指繁文缛节,我是在词典里查到的!是不是没这个用法呀?
[attach]133242[/attach]
[attach]133243[/attach]
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-11-13 19:42
11.12 独立
Art has played an indispensible role in all societies since ancient time, which has added color to the dull routine of daily life. Positive and effective as it looks at first sight, the funding sustained by the government in reality presents several potential problems. Several factors, such as the pureness of art and the creativity of artists, contribute to the issue. Therefore, I note that the government should curtail the budget on the funding to the artists.
To begin with, the incentive of art is expected to be the desire to express rather than money; otherwise, it is entirely possible that artists would grow strong dependence on the government if the major financial patron of fee spent during the producing of art is the government. Consequently, the artists would totally become a tool and spokesperson of government. They may be used by the government to lead the public opinion since generally the artists have great impact on public citizens. This kind of thing has happened in many countries, and China is quite exemplary. In the 1960s, almost all the Chinese artists were sponsored by the government. They were afraid of losing the source of finance, so they created their art works on the basis of the government’s guidance and all the artworks seen those days were to advocate the positive side of society.
In addition, the creativity and inspiration are the soul of artists, which they would lose once they live their life as normal people. As we all know, what makes the artists masters is that they could observe and depict the things that most people fail to notice, and the experience of a harsh life is a kind of fountain of inspiration and creativity, distinguishing them from all others. For instance, Vincent Van Gogh, who lived through harsh poverty in his late years, collected his understanding in his pieces of painting; Beethoven, one of the most musicians, had taken the burden of life since child, and later created “Symphony No. 5”, which exactly reflected his destiny. Hence, a well supported artist given a comfortable and peaceful life would lose the ingenuity.
Admittedly, the government has the obligation to spur the boom of the art industry so that more fine art works could be created. However, the kind of support from the government is expected to be in terms of policy instead of just in terms of money. Only in this way, can the artists be stimulated to produce the really valuable master pieces.
To sum up, I reaffirm that the government are not supposed to simply give out the money to the artists in case that they would be gulled by some mercenary distributors and their inspirations would be dried up.
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-11-13 20:21
blackjack201303 发表于 2013-11-13 11:55
小伙伴,光棍节礼物改好鸟!不好意思哈!
还有,那个red rape是指繁文缛节,我是在词典里查到的!是不是没 ...
red tape是繁文缛节的意思~~还有谢谢亲改的这么仔细!!受益匪浅!
作者: 笨笨熊vanilla 时间: 2013-11-13 22:19
大神大神。。你的作文其实没有改的必要啊。。。。。[attach]133294[/attach]
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-11-14 10:25
笨笨熊vanilla 发表于 2013-11-13 22:19
大神大神。。你的作文其实没有改的必要啊。。。。。
谢谢亲的批改~其实这个不是我在规定时间写出来的,写完一遍之后因为没人帮我改所以自己先改了一遍了~~我觉得这题有点儿写不出来,想了很久的~~
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-11-14 12:09
11.13 综合
In the listening material, the professor admits the problems of the internal-combustion engine pointed out by the author, while she claims that the author is too optimistic about the hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine by refuting the advantages presented by the author.
First, the professor claims that hydrogen needed for fuel-cell engines is not as easily available as the author has imagined, because the substance as sources of hydrogen, such as water, cannot be used directly to the fuel-cell engines. The pure liquid hydrogen is artificial, and its requirements are very high. For example, the tempurature needs to be as low as three hundred centigrades menus zero. Therefore, it is not a very practical way to replace the internal-combustion engine.
Second, hydrogen-based fuel cells cannot solve the pollution problems as the author claims. Because even though the byproduct of fuel-cell engines is water, the process of generate the pure hydrogen will produce pollutants, resulting from burning coal or oil. Hence, using ydrogen-based fuel cell engines is not an environment-friendly way as it seems at first sight.
Third, the professor also contradicts the view held by the author that fuel-cell engines are cost-saving, because a kind of rare and expensive metal involves in the chemical reaction to operate the automobile. However, any efforts to make it cheaper have so far been unsuccessful. In a word, people may not spend less money to operate a fuel-cell engine than they operate an internal-combustion engine.
作者: 笨笨熊vanilla 时间: 2013-11-14 13:53
carmensh 发表于 2013-11-14 10:25
谢谢亲的批改~其实这个不是我在规定时间写出来的,写完一遍之后因为没人帮我改所以自己先改了一遍了~~我 ...
我也是 现在写作文最大的难题就是觉得没得写。。。话说我1123大四狗。。。。
作者: psychoarya 时间: 2013-11-14 15:06
小伙伴~你昨天是不是没写独立作文啊~那我就帮你改综合了~
作者: psychoarya 时间: 2013-11-14 18:13
能力有限,望见谅~
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-11-14 20:24
psychoarya 发表于 2013-11-14 15:06
小伙伴~你昨天是不是没写独立作文啊~那我就帮你改综合了~
谢谢小伙伴~我只占了综合的座哦~
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-11-14 20:25
笨笨熊vanilla 发表于 2013-11-14 13:53
我也是 现在写作文最大的难题就是觉得没得写。。。话说我1123大四狗。。。。 ...
握爪!!同加油!!!
作者: psychoarya 时间: 2013-11-14 20:49
carmensh 发表于 2013-11-14 20:24
谢谢小伙伴~我只占了综合的座哦~
可小分队上安排咱俩互批,而我只写了独立= = 能不能麻烦你帮我看下,不用细改,给点意见就行了。。
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-11-14 22:23
11.14 独立
The teaching performance of teachers has always been a core in educational affairs, which concerns directly with the interests of both students and teachers. Thus the issue that who evaluates the teaching performance of teachers deserves much attention. Feasible as it looks at first sight, collecting information reflecting a teacher’s teaching quality from other teachers may cause potential problems, and thus I note that students’ evaluation is more useful. Several factors, such as the incentives and the foundation, contribute to this issue. The reasons will be further illustrated as followings.
To begin with, it is the students who are the direct audiences of the class, and who eventually benefit from the improvement of teacher’s performance, so they are the real testers of the teachers. Others teachers who merely sit on about several minutes in the class every term cannot definitely know the whole teaching performance of a teacher; in addition, from their own perspective, their cognition of the class has limitations since they may not know students’ need clearly. For instance, last semester, I took a business class called International Trade, which was scored high and strongly recommended by other professors. However, when I was in the class, I found it totally different from what I had imagined----I had expected to learn something more practical instead of theoretical models, and through the whole class, the professor just read the slides on the screen, which was as dry as a chip. Therefore, students could better select the classes they need and teachers could improve their teaching skills provided the evaluation of students.
Moreover, since the reward given to a teacher has something to do with the collected information, the conflictions led by complicated interest relationship among teachers are able to be avoided if the students make evaluation of the teaching performance. Because the rewards will be given to the teachers who have the most efficient teaching, it is entirely possible that teachers would mark others lower on purpose and form a vicious circle in the end. For example, last year in a university in China, such a thing happened. The directors of the university were going to promote several candidate teachers from associate professors to full professors based on their teaching performance, and let these professors scored each other. As is known to us all, the competition is quite stiff, even among teachers. Everyone wanted to be promoted, so they marked others very low. Consequently, none of them got a score meeting the standard. In a word, only the students evaluate the teaching performance can the result be more objective.
Admittedly, this kind of thing discussed above not always happens and not all the classes scored high by teachers are unsuitable for students. However, the evaluation made by students is much more objective, which can reflect more helpful information. To sum up, I reaffirm that it is more useful to evaluate a teacher’s teaching performance by students rather than other teachers.
作者: blackjack201303 时间: 2013-11-15 13:11
小伙伴,不好意思,现在才帮你改好!之前改错人了,这是11月12号的独立和综合,帮您改好了,有什么地方有误请多指教哈!
[attach]133403[/attach]
[attach]133404[/attach]
作者: psychoarya 时间: 2013-11-15 15:40
你写的很好~
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-11-15 16:36
psychoarya 发表于 2013-11-15 15:40
你写的很好~
[attach]133421[/attach]
作者: psychoarya 时间: 2013-11-15 23:14
carmensh 发表于 2013-11-15 16:36
你改的太好了!!谢谢!!
contrivance是我用错了,应该用equipment or machine之类
undue是不适当的,过度的 grip 紧张
我从新概念4上背下来的 LESSON46
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-11-16 08:23
psychoarya 发表于 2013-11-15 23:14
你改的太好了!!谢谢!!
contrivance是我用错了,应该用equipment or machine之类
谢谢!学习啦@!
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-11-16 08:24
11.14综合
The sea otter is a small sea mammal which play an important ecological role in the coastal ecosystem. Its population has been declining rapidly and experts realized that there were two possible explantions: environmental pollution or attacks by predators, among which they believe that the pollution hypothesis is more likely. However, the professor approve the other one by presenting three reasons.
Firstly, the professor claims that the pollution hypothesis is weakened and is not what the experts expect. Because if it is the chemical pollution that cause the deaths of sea otter, the body of sea otter will be washed up on shore, while the fact is that the dead see otter is hardly find by humans. Therefore, they are more likely to be eaten by predators.
Secondly, the professor points out that the pollution hypothesis fails to take other factors into consideration. Then the professor argues that because the human predators cause smaller whales, the food of the orca, disappear, so the orca have to change its diet and start predating other smaller sea mammals such as seals and sea lions.
Thirdly, the professor contends that the predation better explains the decline of sea otters due to the location accessible by sea otters, presenting the evidence that the sea otter is too large to enter shallow, rocky area where the sea otter has declined greatly.
这篇写挫了。。。第一遍的时候没看清是要比较两个假设谁可能性更大,与听力没明白啥意思,又重新看了一遍然后听了一遍才写的,但可能受第一次的影响,所以思路有点儿乱浪费了好多时间~~观点什么没有展开完全~~~
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-11-16 10:26
11.15 TPO 11 综合
In the reading passage, the author hold a view that people nowadays are reading far less literature than they used to, and this trend has negative effects for the reading public, for culture in general, and for the future of literature itself. On the contrary, the professor contradicts this by presenting three reasons.
Firstly, the professor points out that the reading passage fails to take other factors into consideration, stating that not only the literature can provide the intellectual stimulation. The professor gives example that the historical and politic stories, though they are not literature, are also of high quality and justified created, which could stimulate our imaginations just as literature does. Therefore, the author is clearly too absolute to draw the conclusion without ruling out other possibilities.
Secondly, the author contends that diverting time previouly spent in reading literature to trivial forms of entertainment has lowered the level of culture in general. While the professor opposes this opinion by arguing that literature is not the only form contributing to the culture in general, there are many other forms of culture besides literature. For example, seeing a good movie do not lower the cultural standard. Hence, the author obviously has drawn the conclusion on the basis of a false assumption.
Thirdly, the author may be right about the declining trend of literature, but a crucial fact is being left out of consideration. The professor points out that it is the literal authors' fault ntead of the readers's, because they write some books very difficult to understand and they should lead literature easier in order to attract the audience.
作者: yagiliang 时间: 2013-11-17 14:22
不好意思,改晚啦
作者: yagiliang 时间: 2013-11-18 22:00
hello,你16号的综合是还没上传咩?给我个链接呗。
我的链接是http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-877065-1-1.html。谢谢
作者: yagiliang 时间: 2013-11-18 22:59
11.15的综合改好啦,你看看
作者: evolanna 时间: 2013-11-19 14:33
小伙伴,15号的是不是还米有上传咩
作者: 笨笨熊vanilla 时间: 2013-12-4 21:23
小伙伴~ 谢谢帮我改作文哦~ 苦逼大四狗的23号成绩出来了~ 你24号的加油撒~~~
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-12-6 11:56
笨笨熊vanilla 发表于 2013-12-4 21:23
小伙伴~ 谢谢帮我改作文哦~ 苦逼大四狗的23号成绩出来了~ 你24号的加油撒~~~
也谢谢你拉!!!你怎么样啊??我的今早也出来啦~~大四狗终于心酸的上了100了,虽然不高,听力拉后腿了~~
作者: 笨笨熊vanilla 时间: 2013-12-9 10:14
carmensh 发表于 2013-12-6 11:56
也谢谢你拉!!!你怎么样啊??我的今早也出来啦~~大四狗终于心酸的上了100了,虽然不高,听力拉后腿了~ ...
我也是我也是 作文28呢~ 超级开心~ 口语一如既往拉后腿~ 申请加油哦~!
作者: carmensh 时间: 2013-12-9 12:46
笨笨熊vanilla 发表于 2013-12-9 10:14
我也是我也是 作文28呢~ 超级开心~ 口语一如既往拉后腿~ 申请加油哦~!
加油啦!!
作者: Nicole.Pang 时间: 2014-5-23 23:54
MMMMMM。。。。认真看看
作者: GAMT750还要多 时间: 2014-9-11 19:48
楼主真有毅力 佩服了
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