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标题: sherry的作文贴 [打印本页]

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-8-24 22:09
标题: sherry的作文贴
914托福二战，930GMAT二战，坚持每天写作文！

-------------------我是坚强的分割线----------------------------------------------------

2013/08/24 IW
Topic 同不同意，社會制定了太多規矩給年輕人 Do you agree or disagree that the rules in societies today are too strict for young people.

Youngsters are the future of our society, so it isimportant to provide them with abundant resources, freedom to choose and an openatmosphere. One problem currently is that they are gradually growing up, readyto show their talents and achieve something great, only to find that thesociety has already built too many consolidated rules restricting them to dowhat they really want. In my opinion, young people are indeed suffering fromthese rules.

First and foremost, when young people are still inschool, rules come along with them all the time. Students are told to bediligent and curious about what they have learned. The whole rating system inuniversity focus largely on the students' academic performance. So in order tofollow these rules set by the universities to obtain a good grade, a studentmay have to sacrifice his/her leisure time, time supposed to attend band rehearsal,to watch an art show, or to write his/her own novel chapter. Instead, thestudent do research, writer papers and worry about the GPA all the time. Althoughthe student may get a satisfying result eventually - that is, a high GPA andthe considerable scholarship -, he/she may lose the chance to figure his/herpotential area, or even the possibility of great achievements in anotherunknown field.

When those young people finally graduated from theuniversities, looking for a job, social rules appear again from everywhere.Those "rules from experience" convey the idea that young peopleshould consider whether income is stable, whether the welfare is good, whetherthe promotion path is accessible and so on. And again, to "avoid failureby not following these rule", young people search carefully on the jobmarket and find it so hard to get a "perfect" job. So they complain,sigh, and accept the relatively "better" job. But what if they don'tfollow these rules and just do what they really good at? For example, a PhDstudent majored in biology is interested in research and wants to be aresearcher, but social rules forced him to think about living condition. As aresult, he ends up in a pharmacy company, where he realizes the work is just socommercial for him that he is not interested at all. The PhD may lose theopportunity to become a great scientist. What's more, he does the job he doesnot like. Blame on those so-called rules.

Rules existing in society as an accumulation ofexperience and former success. But things are changing every day andindividuals are different from each other, especially for young people who arenew stream to the society. In conclusion, the rules in society indeed restrictyoung people in many aspects andmeasures need to be done to solve the problem.

作者: Mint静默 时间: 2013-8-24 22:10
欢迎sherry开贴~！

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-8-24 23:19

Mint静默发表于 2013-8-24 22:10
欢迎sherry开贴~！

谢谢鼓励呀

作者: 薄荷妹纸 时间: 2013-8-25 10:09
sherry 我发现我粘贴上来之后没有颜色所以我就添加在附件里了文件里面上面是我的作文下面是你的以及修改

新人第一次改作文..改的不好请见谅哦
我的作文地址求狠批 http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-871220-1-1.html

作者: 薄荷妹纸 时间: 2013-8-25 10:13
PS 我也是914

加油！~

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-8-25 12:28

薄荷妹纸发表于 2013-8-25 10:09
sherry 我发现我粘贴上来之后没有颜色所以我就添加在附件里了文件里面上面是我的作文下面是你的以及修 ...

谢谢薄荷的修改！我也给你改好啦。

下次粘贴的时候你可以在回复里选择高级模式，再粘贴就有颜色啦。一起加油~！

作者: lyslj001 时间: 2013-8-25 12:37
Sherry我也9.14! 坐等你的综合作文喔~

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-8-25 12:44

lyslj001 发表于 2013-8-25 12:37
Sherry我也9.14! 坐等你的综合作文喔~

其实我没占座综合作文 = =我也不知道为啥队长给我分了

作者: lyslj001 时间: 2013-8-25 12:46

sherryv 发表于 2013-8-25 12:44
其实我没占座综合作文 = =我也不知道为啥队长给我分了

神马！！简直乱了~~

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-8-25 23:05

Topic: Playing sports gives importantlesson on life learning.

Have you ever participated in a long-runcompetition and find it hard to run the last few miles? Have you ever practicedsome kinds of ball game for a long time and still not make any progress? Haveyou ever experienced failure on a sports meeting and felt depressed about notwinning the gold medal? I bet you have, or at least some of you have. Playingsports expose people to many difficult situations, situations that is similarto what people may face in daily life. In my point of view, playing sports dogive important lesson on life learning.

First and foremost, playing sports needsone's sheer tenacity. Most of sports require long-time physical persistence,which means large consumption of one's energy. Usually, one become enthusiasticabout a kind of sports for some reasons, playing it almost every day at first.But day by day, he/she may find it less interesting: it consumes too much timeand makes one exhausted after every practice. Just because of that, many peoplegive up playing not long after they begin. And that, to a large extent, issimilar to life. If one can stay playing sports no matter what the obstacle is,he/she may get the important lesson on life about what the persistence is.

Second, hard work is necessary to playsports, just like it is to real life. A sportsman has to hold the determinationthat next move will be quicker, next hit will be better and next score will behigher. Only by hard working can a sportsman make progress in his specificarea. And this rule is also the same in life. An understanding of theimportance of hard work leads people to complain less and practice more. Thatis why playing sports is beneficial to one in daily life.
Third, learning how to face failure is whatone need to do in playing sports, as well as in life. One cannot always win.Once a sportsman lose, he/she has to face it, managing the sadness and figuringout a way of improvement. Sometimes, people feel ashamed about their failure,making them avoid participating the same activity again. But being awell-performed sportsman means to embrace failure and learn from it. Anothervaluable lesson on life learning.
In conclusion, playing sports is just likeliving a life, so what one has learned from sports is also applicable to reallife. After all, the nature of wisdom is all the same.

作者: ni_kate 时间: 2013-8-26 18:16
粘贴比较麻烦，直接上传word了~~^ ^

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-8-27 18:37

ni_kate 发表于 2013-8-26 18:16
粘贴比较麻烦，直接上传word了~~^ ^

谢谢ni_kate，辛苦啦。

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-8-27 23:24
827 独立 Agree or disagree: to solve the problem of present and future, it is necessary to understand the past.

Experience from the past is often regarded as valuable and useful, partly because to some extent it reflected how people have faced difficulties and solved problems. People usually study history to avoid making the same mistakes. In my point of view, however, an excessive focus on the understanding of past does not do any good to fix the current situation, or even the upcoming one.

First and foremost, concentrating on the past easily leads people to fall into the stereotype trap. What already happened is like a standard rule, tempting people to reach the same level. For instance,when the director of a sales department makes the sales plan for the next coming year, he/she may cannot help referring to the actual sales performance the year before. By understanding the previous figure, the director falls into the stereotype that the figure in the upcoming sales plan must exceeds the previous actual figure. But the director fails to consider about the possible cooling economy environment or any new policy that may reduce the market demands. As a result, the solution is not applicable to the new situation because practice from the past influence people's decision.

Second, people are inclined to underestimate potential risks if they value an understanding of the past. The logic is explicit. When every detail, every important moment and every method of a past event are reported, learned and understood, people usually have the faith that they won't make the same mistake again or that next time they are able to control the damage. But think about the 911 terrorist attack and the 2008 financial crisis. Who would have expected the most secure country would be attacked downtown? Who would have thought that a bigger-than-ever financial crisis would happen and cause so much damage? Experience tells people that measure they have took is enough to encounter a possible risk. But no one could predict the future, just as any one can say he/she have learned from the past. Sometimes, learning from the past won't make things any better, but it decrease people's cautiousness, causing incredible catastrophes.

In conclusion, I do not agree with the statement that understanding the past is beneficial to solve the problem now or in the future.

今天时间仓促，字数略少，结尾也没好好写，先这样吧。 = =better done than nothing.

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-9-2 18:11
There are various kinds of management books teaching a CEO how to improve his company to a better level. Methods are divergent according to the development phase of the company. As for a big company, the most important investment is to enhance the efficiency and proficiency of its employees.

First and foremost, since productivity is still the primary factor to consider, a group of efficient and proficient employees would guarantee a steadily increasing output. High efficiency means that employees are able to dedicate themselves into their work with heart and soul, and in return, the productivity of the company cannot be easily dropped down. Moreover, proficiency make sure that the products are qualified and competitive on the market, which again ensures the basic healthy development of the company. That is why HR departments of big companies usually hold trainings, workshops and sharings among the employees. By throwing these activities, employees are encouraged to perform better in their daily work, and that is undoubtedly beneficial to the company.

Second, the improvement of the efficiency and proficiency of its employees activates the spirit of creativity. Imagine what the working environment is like in a big company where employees are efficient and proficient: progressive, proactive and creative. Thanks to these characteristics of its employees, the company is very likely to break its bottleneck during its progress. And that means a lot to a big company in its mature phase. Suppose that a famous company in the automobile industry launches a workshop regarding the research on marketing strategies of competitors. And because this program allows all the employees to involve in, it is possible that some inspiring ideas pop up during the training session. For instance, an employee from the finance department brought up a marvelous idea, such as a breakthrough on the company's marketing strategy, to the marketing department. And the marketing department finds that this solution could perfectly solve their confusing problem, thanks to a different financial view. This could be the very point where the giant company makes its developing breakthrough. Who could consider that a simple training program has such a huge effect?

In conclusion, the management of a big company should hold the belief that the improvement of efficiency and proficiency of its employees is actually a significant investment. After all, in order to achieve long-time development, it is wisely to throw money into long-time use.

作者: wanggang0411 时间: 2013-9-3 11:53

sherryv 发表于 2013-9-2 18:11
There are various kinds of management books teaching a CEO how to improve his company to a better le ...

嗯, 颜色都没了, 看附件吧

There are variouskinds of management books teaching a CEO how to improve his company to a betterlevel. Methods are divergent according to the development phase of the company.As for a big company, the most important investment is to enhance the efficiencyand proficiency of its employees.

First and foremost, since productivity is still the primary factor to consider,a group of efficient and proficient employees would guarantee a steadilyincreasing output. High efficiency means that employees are able to dedicatethemselves into their work with heart and soul, and in return, the productivityof the company cannot (有点过于绝对 could not) beeasily dropped down. Moreover, proficiency make (makes) surethat the products are qualified and competitive on the market, which (这个which 无指代如果想指代前面的proficiency 那么这里改成 and that 以和前面的that平行) againensures the basic healthy development of the company. That is why HRdepartments of big companies usually hold trainings, workshops and sharings (sharing 不可数可改成sessions orsharing sessions) among (hold sth. for或许更make sense些) theemployees. By throwing (这里有个修饰错误, 因为主语是employees 不是company, 所以可以改成joining) these activities, employees are encouraged to perform better intheir daily work, and that is undoubtedly beneficial to the company.

这段结构很好, 说理充分, HR的例证也很好.

Second, the improvement of the efficiency and proficiency of its employeesactivates the spirit of creativity. Imagine what the working environment islike in a big company where employees are efficient and proficient:progressive, proactive and creative. Thanks to these characteristics of itsemployees, the company is very likely to break its bottleneck during itsprogress. And that means a lot to a big company in its mature phase. Supposethat a famous company in the automobile industry launches a workshop regardingthe research on marketing strategies of competitors. And because this programallows all the employees to involve in, it is possible that some inspiringideas pop up during the training session. For instance, an employee from thefinance department brought up a marvelous idea, such as (这个such as 可以省了, 或者改成 for instance, 其实也不用着, 因为breakthrough 是对marvelous idea的进一步解释, 而不是例子, 所以什么都不用最流畅~) abreakthrough on the company's marketing strategy, to the marketing department.And the marketing department finds that this solution could perfectly solvetheir confusing problem, thanks to a different financial view. (finds 和thanks 主语是department 中间没连词造成run-on sentence, 改改吧: Thanking to view, the department finds) This could be the very point where the giantcompany makes its developing breakthrough. Who could consider that a simpletraining program has such a huge effect? (Who couldimage that such a simple training program could have a significant contributionfor the company?)

(这段主题是 activate spirit of creativity, 后面又说环境的不错, 然后用automobilecompany的例子去阐述一个环境, 然后又用一个财务部门的职员的例子去证明这个环境有贡献…

额~~~~怎么说呢, 可能我英文水平, 精读了几次, 搞才清楚了逻辑关系.)

In conclusion, the management of a big company should hold the belief that theimprovement of efficiency and proficiency of its employees is actually asignificant investment. After all, in order to achieve long-time development,it is wisely to throw money into long-time use. (从逻辑上可以把两句连起来, 我抛砖引玉下:

In conclusion,the management of a big company should hold the belief that the improvement ofefficiency and proficiency of its employees is a significant investment from along term perspective, and thus, it is wisely for mangers to allocate capitals orresources on this area. )

整体:

我个人认为整体结构很清晰,也就OG上评分标准的organization;

然后第二个论述段的development我觉得可以再从逻辑和例证上优化;

Language use 方面, 我觉得很好, 很多变;

最后,我个人认为,对于”开放式作文”这个写作思路, 逻辑切入点要能够有更多的发挥空间,也就是我正着批判,反着批判,实在没的写了我多角度批判,最后还能让步批判~~~各种批判随意发挥,这样的套路比较好写一些~~~~~~~~加油.

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-9-3 14:52
9/2 独立

Since high salary is usually associatedwith luxury house and fancy clothes, a sizable group of people prefer ahigh-salary job, even with little vacation time. In my point of view, however,they are wrong to equalize money to happiness, which originates from variousaspects of life other than superior income. A job with more vacation time isundoubtedly better than a job with high salary but less vacation time.

Admittedly, high salary means financialsecurity, allowing people to purchase their favorite LVs, to consume in five starhotels and to spend their vacations on the most popular beach. Nevertheless, donot forget that high salary often requires considerable working load determinedby the prosperity of the job. Remember the intern of Goldman in Britain whodied of exhaustion? Imagine the schedule of that poor man working investmentbanking field. He worked for three days without any sleep, except that everymorning he was sent to his department to take a shower and change clothes. Theyoung man eventually couldn't survive the intense working pace and passed away.So what is the meaning of high salary if the person who earns it doesn't haveany time spending it and even died because of it? Compared with money, healthis much more important in the long run.

Second, people nowadays are trying too hardto achieve a work and life balance, so a job with more vacation time is helpfulto fulfill it. If every minute of a day is used to work, people may findthemselves lost, neglecting their potential health problems and missing theirchildren’s growing up. With enough leisure time, they can watchsunrise at the seashore with their lovers, or count stars at a mountaintop;they may eat a wonderful dinner at their little cozy homes with their family,chatting about amusing things. All these do not need much money, but a greatdeal of time. And only after enough rest can one save sufficient energy todevote himself into work.

In conclusion, a job with more vacationtime is a wise choice for people who prefer a balanced life. After all, workingis just a component of life, but not all of it. People deserve happiness fromso many sources that money is only one of it.

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-9-3 14:56

wanggang0411 发表于 2013-9-3 11:53
嗯, 颜色都没了, 看附件吧

There are variouskinds of management books teaching a CEO how to improve ...

多谢批改！！好认真，学到好多！

作者: 追梦CY 时间: 2013-9-3 16:40
今天中午回宿舍了，所以改啦~[attach]127578[/attach]

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-9-4 21:34
0903 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: All high-schoolstudents should take basic economic courses.

Since the pursuit of wealth is an eternal topic inhuman society, it is no wonder that economic theory is extremely popular amongsocial science subjects. As the saying goes, "Money never sleeps".Recently, there has been a suggestion that all high-school students take basiceconomic courses. In my point of view, I totally agree with the suggestionbased on the following reasons.
First and foremost, economic courses provide studentswith a different perspective to recognize and understand the world. From theview of economic theory, there would be an entirely new kind of interpretation forwhat seemed to be normal previously. And that is necessarily essential for ahigh-school student forming his own value. By learning the theory of supply anddemands, the student could understand how the price on supermarket is formedand thus become more sensitive to any CPI fluctuations afterwards. By learningthe utility curve, the student could recognize how to quantitateone's preference, and even use the method in his own decision making process.Day by day, students could realize that there are multiple ways of analyzing anissue and that is the very ability required in the future.

Second, since economicsis such a popular major nowadays, taking basic economic courses enablesstudents to step a little into this area in advance to figure out whether thearea is interesting and suitable as a college major. Tragedies happen whenstudents just follow the trend without any research of the economics major andfind that it is just not the case. Therefore, if basic classes on economics areavailable early in high school, students could have the opportunity to give ita shot.

Admittedly, adding an extra class into the already extensivehigh-school curriculum schedule is annoying, but the influence lasts in thelong run. Students studying economics early could cultivate themselves a senseof personal finance management, which is of vital importance for their futurecareer and life. It helps them set the basic value regarding money, considermaking investments when it is the time and stay calm despite the unstable economicsituation.

In conclusion, it is a reasonable idea to offerhigh-school students basic economic courses. With elementary knowledge ofeconomics, students would find themselves better adapt to the society.

作者: sherlock1992 时间: 2013-9-5 13:45

sherryv 发表于 2013-9-4 21:34
0903 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: All high-schoolstudents should tak ...

0903 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: All high-schoolstudents should take basic economic courses.
红色修改蓝色建议高亮表赞
Since the pursuit of wealth is an eternal topic inhuman society, it is no wonder that economic theory is extremely popular amongsocial science subjects（这里可以去掉social science,增大所指范围，增强说服力）. As the saying goes, "Money never sleeps"（这句话可以放在段前引出整个段落）.Recently, there has been a suggestion that all high-school students take basiceconomic courses. In my point of view, I totally agree with the suggestionbased on the following reasons.
First and foremost, economic courses provide studentswith a different perspective to recognize and understand the world. From theview of economic theory, there would be an entirely new kind of interpretation forwhat seemed to be normal previously. And that is necessarily essential(这里有些wordy,因为necessary&essential含义有些重叠，直接用essential吧，或加个very之类的表示程度） for ahigh-school student forming（to form) his own value. By learning the theory of supply anddemands（demand), the student could understand how the price on(in) supermarket is formedand thus(感觉这里的因果关系并不是太明显，可把thus去掉） becomes more(这里好像没有比较对象吧，用一个表示程度的副词较好） sensitive to any（可去） CPI fluctuations afterwards. By learningthe utility curve, the student could recognize how to quantitateone's preference, and even use the method in his own decision-making process.Day by day, students could realize that there are multiple ways of analyzing anissue and that（建议这里用“，which) is the very ability required in the future.

Second, since economicsis such a popular major nowadays, taking basic economic courses enablesstudents to step a little into this area in advance to figure out whether the(this) area is interesting and suitable as a college major. Tragedies happen whenstudents just follow the trend without any previous research of the economics major andfind that it is just not the case as they imagined. Therefore, if basic classes on economics areavailable early in high school, students could have the opportunity to give ita shot.

Admittedly, adding an extra class into the already extensivehigh-school curriculum schedule is annoying, but the influence lasts in thelong run. Students studying economics early could cultivate themselves a senseof personal finance management, which is of vital importance for their futurecareer and life. It helps them set the basic value regarding money, considermaking investments when it is the time and stay calm despite the unstable economicsituation.

In conclusion, it is a reasonable idea to offerhigh-school students basic economic courses. With elementary knowledge ofeconomics, students would find themselves better adapt to the society.

总结：sherryv的这篇文章总体来说挺不错的，只是某些diction还需要推敲一下吧（纯属个人感觉），三个论据经济类课程可以提供新观念、为将来选专业做参考及对个人素养的提高都挺能支持论点的，再赞一个。

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-9-7 09:09
Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement? Young people today more likely to givetime and effort improving the world than young people were at the past.
复制上来有些单词连在一起了，直接看附件吧！
For centuries, humankind has beend edicating in making the world a better place. Historically, the significant responsibility usually taken by middle-aged adults, who were once thought to bethe main power in the society. At present, however, young people are graduallyovertaking the place. Dozens of magazines and TV talk shows are resoundingvoice from youngsters claiming their concerns about the world. In fact, it ismore likely for young people in today's society to give time and effortimproving the world than for those at the past.
First and foremost, young people currentlyare better educated than young people at the past, hence the former are morequalified to improve the world. In comparison, young people today have a widerknowledge range, better language skills and more advanced technique skills.Once equipped with these abilities, they would find it easy to make contributionsto the society. More importantly, a sense of responsibility is regardedincreasing crucial in today's world and that is what most young people todayare told since childhood. So they are more likely to willing to pay effortsadding value to the society than those who were dictated so.
Second, with abundant resources nowadays,making the world a better place is more accessible than before for youngpeople. Specifically, there are well-organized non-profit organizationsencouraging young people to become volunteers in impoverished areas astemporary teachers, culture transmitters or direct NPO assistants. AIESEC, aninternational student organization, is committed to send students from ratherdeveloped countries to undeveloped countries. Such kind of opportunity isincreasing provided by an assortment of organizations, which has made it more convenientfor young people today to make contributions.
Third, young people today are commonlyenjoying a better living condition than those at the past, so according to thetheory of Hierarchy of Needs suggested by Maslow, they are more likely topursuit the mental fulfillment. In contrast, young people at the past were mostlystill concerned about the improvement of the living standards, thus had no timeeven considering about personal contribution to the world.
The world is becoming a better placebecause of the efforts young people have made, and in return, young peoplebenefits from the improved world and utilize the benefits as their advantagesto change the world. Therefore, young people today are indeed more likely togive time and effort improving the world than young people were at the past.

作者: 追梦CY 时间: 2013-9-7 11:20
写的太好了！[attach]127928[/attach]

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-9-7 11:57

追梦CY 发表于 2013-9-7 11:20
写的太好了！

多谢鼓励啊！！

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-9-7 21:08
0907

In the past young people aremore depended on their parents in making decisions. Today, young people arebetter able to make decisions in their own lives.

Young people are the apples in their parents' eyes, hence forcenturies parents have been enthusiastic about making decisions for theirchildren. They would send their children to various extra curriculum lessons,dominantly choose college majors for them, and even help their children find a position on the job market. However, things are different in today's society. Young people currently is better able to make their own decision for their future.

The improvement firstly lies in an increasing sense of independence, which is among many sparkling characteristics today's young people have. A child nowadays has been educated to be independent since childhood: dress himself independently, fold his own quilt and check his homework by himself instead of his parents. The point is best illustrated in a newly added article in the textbook of Chinese elementary-school students. The author of the article writes about an independent girl named Wuta, who begins to travel on her own at the age of seven. Once she arrives at a new place, the girl send a postcard to her parents to inform them of her safety. The selection of such articles into textbooks shows a tendency to encourage independence among youngsters.

Besides, an assortment of information sources enable young people today to be better at making decisions than young people in the past. Dozens of magazines, radios and TV talk show all resound opinions from different people on how to choose one's own path. Young people could obtain more information from celebrity confessions, peer advice and various online workshops. For example, when deciding their future career, a college studentcould ask the alumni of the university or people who is working in theindustry, or just do some research on the Internet. In comparison, the previous generation only had limited information source and thus was less confident in making decisions on their own.

When it comes to making crucial decisions in one's lifetime, only the person himself has the clearest idea about what he really cares most. With better education and increasingly abundant resources, young people intoday's society are undoubtedly better at making decisions in their lives.

作者: sherlock1992 时间: 2013-9-8 08:22
同学，我9.6的作文你还没改呢，下面附上链接： http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-836006-12-1.html

作者: iammuse 时间: 2013-9-8 22:58

sherryv 发表于 2013-9-7 21:08
0907

In the past young people aremore depended on their parents in making decisions. Today, young p ...

改完了哈

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-9-9 00:41

iammuse 发表于 2013-9-8 22:58
改完了哈

Thanks for your advice! Just two things：1 an assortment of = various, 2 advice is non-countable as "建议“

作者: iammuse 时间: 2013-9-9 11:19

sherryv 发表于 2013-9-9 00:41
Thanks for your advice! Just two things：1 an assortment of = various, 2 advice is non-countable a ...

没明白你第二点啥意思？

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-9-9 17:40

iammuse 发表于 2013-9-9 11:19
没明白你第二点啥意思？

advice做“建议”讲时是可数名词

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-9-9 22:54
0908综合
The reading passage concentrates on Rembrandt's painting, claiming that some of the painting once attributed to Rembrandt were not actually painted by him. One of such paintings is analyzed in the article to prove why it is not Rembrandt’s work. However, the professor in the lecture indicates the painting mentioned in the reading is actually painted by Rembrandt based on the following three reasons.

Firstly, the reading passage declared that the way the woman in the painting dresses is not consistent with the time stage. Specifically, one could not be wearing a white linen cap and a luxurious fur at the same time. Nevertheless, the professor explains that fur collar is added by someone else after the portrait has been done. By that the professor means that perhaps the painting is recreated by others, hence in the original portrait, the woman’s clothes and accessories are consistent.

Secondly, the article continues mention that the light and shadow in the painting is totally wrong because the illuminated face does not compatible with the dark below. But the professor points out that in the original painting, it is the light color collar that illuminates the woman's face. In other words, because of the light color collar the woman wears, her face appears to be illuminated although there is no light coming from below.

Thirdly, the reading indicates that the painting is made of a glued panel, which is not common in Rembrandt's works. However, the lecture contends that in order to make the painting more grand and valuable when the fur collar was added, the masterpiece was enlarged. The original painting is on a single piece of wood, which is the same style of wood as the wood of Rembrandt’s other paintings.

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-9-11 20:52
0911 独立
父母應該多陪孩子玩遊戲或體育運動，還是陪孩子做和學校學習有關的事情

Children are theapples in their parents' eye, so it is no wonder that parents always want thebest for their children. But the problem lies in what is the best for theirkids and what they can do to help their kids achieve the best. Tutoring theirchildren with their school assignments may be a wise choice, yet in my point ofview, parents should spend more time playing games and doing sports with theirchildren.
Admittedly,helping children with their homework would probably improve their performance.However, different teaching approaches between schools and home may confuse childrenon what they have learned. Specifically, teaching materials and methods attoday's schools are far more advanced and multiple than those in the past. Forexample, in order to learn the various kinds of plants, students today caneasily access to information of plants in intensive regions, ranging fromtropical Africa to extremely cold Alaska. Dozens of studying materials, such asvideo clips, scientific magazines, documentary movies and even fossils, enablestudents to board their horizons and thus learn the catagory better. On theother hand, what parents could do on the topic is rather limited. Hence it isbetter to let teachers do their job.
Moreover, byplaying games and doing sports activities together, parents are able to helptheir children relax from the heavy study load, enjoy family time and bondtogether. After a whole school day, children are already tired and exhausted. Itwould be cruel for their lean bodies to carry on extra study tasks. Not onlyshould parents relieve their children's pressure by not giving them additionalassignments, they should also teach their children how to balance work andlife. The importance of balance is rarely taught in schools, but is definitelyuseful and helpful in their children's future life. Besides, playing togetherallows the whole family to enjoy dressing up sportswear, driving to a land ofgreen grass, playing together and joking with each other during the breaks. Howenjoyable would it be!
Parents are themost intimate friends their children could have. If there is one thing parentscould do to help children become mature, helping them with homework would neverbe the first clue. In fact, teaching them a way of relaxation and theimportance of balance is more crucial in the long run. So to sum up, parentsshould spend more time playing and exercising with their children.

作者: wanggang0411 时间: 2013-9-11 22:47

sherryv 发表于 2013-9-9 22:54
0908综合
The reading passage concentrates on Rembrandt's painting, claiming that some of the paintin ...

改好了, 不好意思, 天天小分队, 漏了一个....多谢提醒

作者: 追梦CY 时间: 2013-9-12 20:16
抱歉Sherry，最近事情有点多，心情也不好，所以耽误修改了。
看了你的文章后心情很好，向你学习！[attach]128307[/attach]

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-9-12 21:16

追梦CY 发表于 2013-9-12 20:16
抱歉Sherry，最近事情有点多，心情也不好，所以耽误修改了。
看了你的文章后心情很好，向你学习！ ...

多谢！感觉你的文章也写得很好耶~ 我后天就考试了，希望各种加油吧！每次看到你的鼓励我也心情很好

作者: 追梦CY 时间: 2013-9-12 21:43

sherryv 发表于 2013-9-12 21:16
多谢！感觉你的文章也写得很好耶~ 我后天就考试了，希望各种加油吧！每次看到你的鼓励我也心情很好 ...

Sherry加油！希望我考前能够听到你W30的好消息哦，其他part也要更加给力，110+好不啦~~~ (o^^)oo(^^o)

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-9-17 16:38
0916 独立
Agree/disagree: The purpose of television should be all educative, not entertaining.
In this media-intensive age, dozens of magazines and newspapers and thousands of radios and channels resound differing opinions, ranging from politician scandals to movie star gossips, from an assortment of talent shows to intelligence competition. With such multiple entertaining contents available, audience is confused about what to read and watch. Some people stand out and say "Media programs, especially television ones, should only be educative." Even though it is true that educative programs help the audience learn knowledge and skills, yet entertaining programs still have its merits.

To begin with, from the perspective of the television broadcasters, entertaining programs are credited with its subsequent generous sponsorship. Because a majority of audience favor programs that can make people laugh and relax, entertaining programs usually own a high viewing rate. Therefore, sponsorship providers are willing to spend considerable amount of money sponsoring those programs to advertise their brands. With such money support, television broadcasters are able to beat competitors and thus improve the quality of the program to attract more audience.

Another reason, from the view of the audience, is that entertaining programs enables people to relax from their hectic schedule and ease their nerves for a second. By watching "the Big Bang Theory", people could get a glance at the life of scientists and be amused on their funny joke. By watching "The Voice of China", the audience may be pleased with the beautiful voice of the singers. However, if all the television programs are educative, they could be boring and in order to stick to watching such programs, people need to pay much attention and become even more exhausted.

Finally, entertaining programs on television contribute to the environment of society. They convey the idea of enjoying life, telling people there always exists an entertainment gene in human beings. In a world filled with money and power, such programs somehow bond people together with the same interest. Moreover, they become the hot topic when colleagues, friends and families gather together, making communication more smoothly.

In conclusion, television programs do not necessarily need to be all educative, since entertaining programs serve a lot in today's society.

作者: kellyzhou0000 时间: 2013-9-17 19:28
In this media-intensive age, dozens of magazines and newspapers and thousands of radios and channels resound differing opinions, ranging from politician scandals to movie star gossips, from an assortment of talent shows to intelligence competition. With such multiple entertaining contents available, audience is confused about what to read and watch. Some people stand out and say "Media programs, especially television ones, should only be educative." Even though it is true that educative programs help the audience learn knowledge and skills, yet entertaining programs still have its merits.（赞这句话！~学习一下，我写不出来...）

To begin with, from the perspective of the television broadcasters, entertaining programs are credited with its subsequent generous sponsorship. Because a majority of audience favor programs that can make people laugh and relax, entertaining programs usually own a high viewing rate. Therefore, sponsorship providers are willing to spend considerable amount of money sponsoring those programs to advertise their brands. With such money support, television broadcasters are able to beat competitors and thus improve the quality of the program to attract more audience（用thus连接但是beat competitors 和 improve the quality 没有因果逻辑联系）.

Another reason, from the view of the audience, is that entertaining programs enables people to relax from their hectic schedule and ease their nerves（nervous？） for a second. By watching "the Big Bang Theory", people could get（have？） a glance at the life of scientists and be amused on their funny joke. By watching "The Voice of China", the audience may be pleased with the beautiful voice of the singers. However, if all the television programs are educative, they could be boring and in order to stick to watching such programs, people need to pay much attention and become even more exhausted.

Finally, entertaining programs on television contribute to the （需不需要加个形容词？）environment of society. They convey the idea of enjoying life, telling people there always exists an entertainment gene in human beings. In a world filled with money and power, such programs somehow bond people together with the same interest. Moreover, they（个人认为这里不用代词代替，直接说entertaining programs） become the hot topic when colleagues, friends and families gather together, making communication more smoothly.

In conclusion, television programs do not necessarily need to be all educative, since entertaining programs serve a lot in today's society.

文章的有的句子很精彩，用词也不错~某些地方需要主意一下逻辑~还有个人觉得第三段需要点事例支撑吧~
向楼主学习精彩句子~

作者: sherryv 时间: 2013-9-17 19:32

kellyzhou0000 发表于 2013-9-17 19:28
In this media-intensive age, dozens of magazines and newspapers and thousands of radios and channels ...

谢谢kelly的建议，都很中肯呢。

PS:第三段是最后还剩5分钟写的，囧 = =，我的写作速度略慢呢，哈哈。

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