标题: Argue48 终于在30分钟内写完一篇了。。。 求批改 [打印本页] 作者: thevd 时间: 2013-3-6 22:21 标题: Argue48 终于在30分钟内写完一篇了。。。 求批改 48. The following appeared in a magazine article about planning for retirement.
"Clearview should be a top choice for anyone seeking a place to retire, because it has spectacular natural beauty and a consistent climate. Another advantage is that housing costs in Clearview have fallen significantly during the past year, and taxes remain lower than those in neighboring towns. Moreover, Clearview's mayor promises many new programs to improve schools, streets, and public services. And best of all, retirees in Clearview can also expect excellent health care as they grow older, since the number of physicians in the area is far greater than the national average."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In this article the author claims that Clearview should be a top choice for anyone seeking a place to retire. To justify it the author cites the statics of the housing cost and taxed in Clearview and points out the fact that the public facilities and health care in Clearview are also excellent for retired people. Close scrutiny over the claim, however, reveals that none of these facts lend credible support to the conclusion, which render it unconvincing as it stands.
Firstly, the author fails to present enough statics to show the advantages in housing cost and taxes in Clearview. The author only informs us that the housing cost have fallen significantly, but the base number of housing cost as well as the percentage of decreasing are not provided. Also, the fact that taxes in Clearview is lower than those in neighboring towns do not necessarily substantiate the taxes is low for retired people. Maybe the taxes among these area is higher the average level of the nation, and thus taxes in Clearview, even lower than its neighboring's, may still be high and unaffordable.
Secondly, the promises of Clearviews promises do not necessarily prove that the public service and facilities are in good condition. The reliability of the promises is open to doubt since the author do not assure us that the promise will be fulfilled in a short time. Then some part of the promise, such as improvement in local school, do not contribute to the improvement of life quality of the retired people. Besides, the promise itself may be a negative example, suggesting that the public facilities in Clearview now is not good enough.
Additionally, the author unfairly assumes that the number of physicians in an area can represent the quality of health care. Many other factors may be related to the quality of health care in an area, such as the medical facilities, the number of hospitals, or the quality and specialty of the physicians. Perhaps most physicians in Clearview do not have much experiences of the typical diseases of old people, such as high blood pressure. Or perhaps the facilities in Clearview's hospital are poor.
In sum the conclusion seems to go beyond the information provided by the author. To bolster it the author should provide more specific statics of the housing price and taxes and present more detailed investigation of the town’s public facilities and health care.作者: 普渡哥 时间: 2013-3-7 10:38
more specific statics of ...., more detailed investigation..... 如果别人给你这样的建议，你知道下一步怎么做吗？用更多更好，而不精确到细节，这样的建议不是好建议。作者: thevd 时间: 2013-3-7 13:40
In sum therecommendation is poorly supported. To bolster it the author should provide specificstatics of the housing price and taxes to undergird the assumption that thelevel of these price is low enough to attract retirees. Also, the author shouldpresent more detailed information of the mayor’s promise, including how soonthe innovation will start and how long it will take to finish the improvement.Finally, a detailed and comprehensive investigation about the quality as wellas the specialty of physicians in Clearview is needed to evaluate the qualityof health care in Clearview. 结尾改了改。。。这样可以吗？