Whether nations should cooperate and develop standard regulations to prevent children from accessing adult material from the Internet remains one of the controversial and complicate topics in the 21st Century world. In my view, I agree with the speaker based on three reasons: One, it is important to protect our children from harmful material. Second, while the Internet has became the main channel for children to obtain harmful adult material. Third, the Internet is a world wide network that requires international effort and cooperation to control the amount of adult material available to children.
Everyone would agree with the importance of keeping our children from accessing harmful pornography because this material could confuse youngsters on the notion of sex and prevent them from normal metal maturity. All nations and governments have the obligations and responsibilities to anyone from distributing these materials to our children. The same as governments is using police force and even army to eliminate drug traffic in their countries.
Since the introduction of the Internet, this information highway has become a more convenience and effective way for people to obtain any kind of information. This is true especially for younger generations. As the result, the Internet has became the fastest growth media for children to obtain adult materials. Further more, some criminals are exploring the Internet as the new way to distribute child pornography to innocent children. To counter this trend, all nations must take action and develop some up to date regulations and enforcement to ensure that our children are not been harmed by these materials through the Internet.
The most important reason for me to support the speaker’s point of view is the nature of the Internet. By definition, the Internet is a would wide network that formed by millions of individual computers connecting together throughout the world. There is no one person, one company or one government has the scope of power to monitor and regulate this giant network. For example, a web site is sending out pornography to Internet users in spite of their age. But the parents or their governments can not stop it because this web site is from a computer located in another country. Therefore, international efforts and cooperation are require to develop some standardized rule for everyone to follow and for every government to enforce.
In conclusion, the metal and physical health of our children is crucial to anyone in any nation. Considering the special nature of the Internet and the complexity of its mass structure, preventing children from accessing to pornography is an international issue. The only way to establish a effective regulating and monitoring system is to get all nation together and develop a standardized rule for all nation and their citizens to follow.
Second, while the Internet has became the main channel for children to obtain harmful adult material.
这句话是否有语法错误阿，while应该去掉吧？
感觉你第一，三点说得很好，第二点有点牵强
不过我看了几篇issue的范文，大部分有凑字数之嫌，都经不起推敲
你头一次能写这么多已经很不错了，羡慕ing
我也刚起步，昨天才写第一篇,互相帮助吧
Whether nations should cooperate and develop standard regulations to prevent children from accessing adult material from the Internet remains one of the controversial and complicate topics in the 21st Century world. In my view, I agree with the speaker based on three reasons: One（First）, it is important to protect our children from harmful material. Second, while the Internet has became(become，这个我知道是粗心) the main channel for children to obtain harmful adult material（原句不是个句子，去掉while）. Third, the Internet is a world wide network that requires international effort and cooperation to control the amount of adult material available to children.（序数词和基数词不要混着用，并列结构肯定都是句子）
Everyone would agree with the importance of keeping our children from accessing harmful pornography because this material could confuse youngsters on the notion of sex and prevent them from normal metal maturity. All nations and governments have the obligations and responsibilities to anyone from distributing these materials to our children. The same as governments is using（use,一般现在时态就好） police force and even army to eliminate drug traffic in their countries.（我还是觉得这句表述有问题）
Since the introduction of the Internet, this（the） information highway has become a more convenience(词性，convenient) and effective way for people to obtain any kinds of information. This is true especially for younger generations. As the (a) result, the Internet has became(become) the fastest growth media for children to obtain adult materials. Further more, some criminals are exploring the Internet as the new way to distribute child pornography to innocent children. To counter this trend, all nations must take action and develop some up to date regulations and enforcement to ensure that our children are not been harmed by these materials through the Internet.(这一段的理由不充分，既然说到convenient&effective,or fast,就要围绕这些说，可以和其他的方式作对比，比如futhermore后面的可以是convenience的论证)
The most important reason for me to support the speaker’s point of view is the nature of the Internet. By definition, the Internet is a would(world) wide network that formed by millions of individual computers connecting together throughout the world. There is no one person, one company or one government has the scope of power to monitor and regulate this giant network. For example, a web site is sending out pornography to Internet users in spite of their age. But the parents or their governments can not stop it because this web site is from a computer located in another country. Therefore, international efforts and cooperation are required to develop some standardized rule for everyone to follow and for every government to enforce.
In conclusion, the metal and physical health of our children is crucial to anyone in any nation. Considering the special nature of the Internet and the complexity of its mass structure, preventing children from accessing to pornography is an international issue. The only way to establish a effective regulating and monitoring system is to get all nation together and develop a standardized rule for all nation and their citizens to follow.
看rhodGG实在辛苦~
给楼主GG几点建议：
细小的地方不忽视~比如惯用的as a result而不是the, become-became-become,这个要分清楚哦
另外，我觉得可以多用一点表示过渡或者衔接的词或短语，therefore,thus,moreover,...etc~
拼写很好啦，比较强哦~！！！
加油~！！！！
真是太感谢adaqiu和soaring_2004两为前辈.你们提出的意见比我读书时语文老师的评语还仔细. 谢谢!
adaqiu, 咱一起努力吧
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