ChaseDream
标题: 新加入的童鞋。。。求带。。。 [打印本页]
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-1-21 21:09
标题: 新加入的童鞋。。。求带。。。
3月17号考，求带。。。
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-1-21 21:12
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Movies and television have more negative effects than positive ones on young people's behavior.
Nowadays, perhaps no issue in this ever-changing world is as significant to people's daily life as televisions and movies, as the scope of which continues to grow, and as the relevant technology continues to be more and more sophisticated, and so fascinating that nobody will be able to repel the temptation. Despite various responses people may have on this topic
that whether those media do good to our youth or not. I, given a chance, prefer to endorse that televisions and movies have more negative influence on our teenagers than positive effect.
Asked what televisions and movies will do to our adolescent, some people may answer that television and movies can teach our youth many things, such as their understand of love and their consideration of the world. Televisions can always tell our teenagers what is happening in our modern world and movies can offer people issues to talk and think about. Television programs, such as Focus, help our new generations focus on our world from their busy study schedule. As for movies, Titanic had brought a worldwide uproar by its extolling of fascinating immortal love, which helps our youth learn what love is. Admittedly, those media play a vital role in the growth of our youths. But actually, I think that they always attract our adolescents by something useless or even harmful, such as gossip of entertainers and pornographic movies.
Relaxing and meaningful as those media looks at first sight, televisions and movies do not help our students learn information of our world at high speed or make them become a mature man in most case; or it could work towards the opposite direction that lead our youths who cannot tell the distinction between good and evil to behavior badly. There are always some boys growing long hair, commonly part of which is dyed in gold. In addition, those of boys are fond of earrings and odd pendants; even pay more attention to ornament than girls pay. The reason they are keen on adorn is because they often see feminize boys on screen attract pretty girls. On the other hand, girls are often fond of Marlboros and weird bad word, since heroines seemingly have the same behavior. It is ridiculous that those naive girls just stubbornly believe that women who have bad behaviors are heroines although there is no relation between the bad behavior and heroines at all.
Furthermore, there are always some magnetic advertisements in televisions and movies getting our youths entangled in the spider web. There is no better illustration than the example of Nicky shoes and McDonald’s. Those advertisements are so tempting and fascinating that our teenagers cannot resist the lure to persuade their parents to buy them, even though they do not actually know if they really need them.
In addition, teenage is the important period during one chooses his career and subsequently his direction of life. Those media greatly influence the choice of one’s career. Today's rock concerts and music televisions create an illusion that becoming a rock star or a video jockey is the coolest profession in the world. Numerous teenagers are drawn into this whirlpool and it becomes too late to realize the reality of the world.
All in all, for the reasons listed above, we can safely conclude that television and movies have more negative influence on youth, which made them have bad behavior.
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-1-21 21:13
求改。。。写的不好。。。求轻黑。。。。
作者: e23lzh 时间: 2013-1-21 21:43
加入写作小分队大家一起努力吧。
最好还是写小分队里面给的题目，大家一起改起来方便
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-1-22 09:19
恩恩
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-1-22 09:22
麻烦问下每天的题目在哪里看啊
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-1-22 15:53
22 January
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Nowadays it's easier to maintain health than the past
Perhaps no issue in this world is as significant to people's life as health. Despite various responses people may have the topic that whether nowadays it is easier to maintain health than the past. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that we can gain a healthy life nowadays than the past.
Asked what the ever-changing world will do to our modern life, some citizens may answer that living in such a fast-changing world would not be easy and comfortable at all; as everything keeps changing, everyone has to move fast in order to catch up with the majority, which often lead to chronic diseases. Admittedly, the quickened tempo in modern world making a wide range of people feel stressed and tired is bad for our heath. But actually, I think that we can easier maintain health at present than in the past.
To begin with, a large number of facilities and equipment built in our communities provide our dwellers a good opportunity to exercise. Looking back to past generations, our grandparents could not find a eligible place to play basketball, for example, when they were children. They must agree that the thought is ridiculous and what every day they worry about is whether they can fill the belly instead of being forever hungry. Rusty and old as our basketball playground is, we at least have one and it is unbelievable to have a basketball playground at that age. Our dwellers can aggregate together to play basketball in order to relax themselves after a day's hard work.
Furthermore, people pay more attention to our health, as our medical science become more and more sophisticated and all kinds of media broadcast how to make our bodies healthier. There is no better illustration than the example of my parents. Living in metropolitan area, they are busy in their schedule, chasing their dream, working hard to buy a house and caring about their children. Yet that does mean their health are abandoned but rather included along with those indispensible factors. They often watch the programs in the televisions how to protect their health and do some Yoga after work. They are always talking to me there is nothing more important than the health.
Last but not the least, in our age, we can visit to more professional and sophisticated doctors who often get a doctor degree, even have studied in famous universities abroad. We do not have to be afraid of many diseases because of advanced medical science and professional doctors. We can lead a healthy life and develop good living habit, since we have a better traditional Chinese medical science.
All in all, for the reasons above, we can safely conclude that nowadays it is easier to maintain health than the past, for our citizens have better facilities, people at our age more focus on health, and we have more eminent doctor.
作者: 慕禾 时间: 2013-1-22 17:33
欢迎加入~你可以去小分队首页看，里面有详细介绍
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-1-22 20:36
Integrated Writing:
TPO 22
The lecturer claims that ethanol fuel actually is a good alternative for gasoline, which can benefit our life, financially and environment friendly. This claim is not in agreement with that of the reading passage, which suggests that ethanol is not a good choice to take place of gasoline.
Frist, the lecturer argues that the increased use of ethanol fuel can solve the environmental problems caused by gasoline to some extent. According to the lecture, using ethanol fuel will reduce the emission of greenhouse gas. This is because the plants have to absorb some carbon dioxide in order to grow during the period of growing plants. In other word, although burning the ethanol fuel also lead to the emission of greenhouse gases, growing those plants, such as corns, will remove some carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. Clearly, the professor's argument disproves its counterpart in the reading that burning ethanol will also release carbon dioxide like gasoline.
Moreover, the professor believes that the production of ethanol will not reduce the amount of plants available for uses at all. Then he supports this point with the fact that they can use some part of plants not eaten by animals. In other word, using those parts of plants to produce ethanol will not reduce the amount of plants to feed animals available. This point of view is in marked contrast to the assertion in the reading passage that producing ethanol means the reduction of plants available for uses.
Finally, regarding ethanol fuel the professor contends that ethanol fuel can compete with gasoline in the future. He proves that this claim is indefensible by pointing out that ethanol fuel need the help of tax subsides at first; But with the increase of production caused by the increasing need, ethanol fuel will drop price. Then it will no longer need the tax subsides. This is in direct contradiction with the claim in the reading passage that ethanol will never be able to be more competitive than gasoline on price.
作者: wsxz007 时间: 2013-1-23 20:35
Integrated Writing:
TPO 22
The lecturer claims that ethanol fuel actually is a good alternative for gasoline, which can benefit our life, financially and environment friendly. This claim is not in agreement with that of the reading passage, which suggests that ethanol is not a good choice to take place of gasoline.
Frist, the lecturer argues that the increased use of ethanol fuel can solve the environmental problems caused by gasoline to some extent. According to the lecture, using ethanol fuel will reduce the emission of greenhouse gas. This is because the plants have to absorb some carbon dioxide in order to grow during the period of growing plants. In other word, although burning the ethanol fuel also lead to the emission of greenhouse gases, growing those plants, such as corns, will remove some carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. Clearly, the professor's argument disproves its counterpart in the reading that burning ethanol will also release carbon dioxide like gasoline.
Moreover, the professor believes that the production of ethanol will not reduce the amount of plants available for uses at all. Then he supports this point with the fact that they can use some part of plants not eaten by animals. In other word, using those parts of plants to produce ethanol will not reduce the amount of plants to feed animals available. This point of view is in marked contrast to the assertion in the reading passage that producing ethanol means the reduction of plants available for uses.
Finally, regarding ethanol fuel the professor contends that ethanol fuel can compete with gasoline in the future. He proves that this claim is indefensible by pointing out that ethanol fuel need the help of tax subsides at first; But with the increase of production caused by the increasing need, ethanol fuel will drop price. Then it will no longer need the tax subsides. This is in direct contradiction with the claim in the reading passage that ethanol will never be able to be more competitive than gasoline on price.
楼主的语言表达很不错啦，因为我自己的表的上有问题，这个我就不发表啥意见了。不过看楼主的字数很多啊，范文一般都是200左右，综合写作 连构思一共20分钟，要是计时完成的那太厉害了，不过，综合写作主要就是看观点表达，听力中反驳阅读的点都说清楚就好，语言但求简洁，尤其要多多表达听力的内容，要是有细节就更好了。
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-1-23 21:50
23 January
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Students can get as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from their academic studies.
Perhaps no issue in this world is as significant to our students' future as our performance in academic studies. However, we should not ignore the benefits of organization or club activities to our students. It is not rare in our modern world that numerous students focusing merely on study get mental diseases or physical diseases. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that students can get as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from their academic studies.
To begin with, our youths can relax themselves and refresh their mind by attending different kinds of organizations and club activities after a day's effort on academic studies. For instance, I have taken part in table tennis club in our school, where I practice my skills with all sorts of students from different departments who have the same interest. Throwing away our complicated academic problems, we assembly every Saturday afternoon and play table tennis together. We become friends and share experience with each other no matter who they are. Thus, students will be able to have a good experience that will leave them a relaxed mind by participating those after class activities.
Furthermore, joining in organizations and clubs can sometimes promote teenagers' a variety of abilities and develop a good habit to benefit our society. There is no better illustration than the example that if one is a leader of a voluntary organization, he can not only promote his organizing ability but also devote his spare time to helping society. He can realize the meaning of his life and gain happy mood from the devotion although he may sacrifice his invaluable time for voluntary work, which seem to have little utilitarian use.
Moreover, it is beneficial for teenagers' academic studies to take part in organizations and club activities. According to a recent psychological result, tired and stressful people who are not able to be concentrate on their study or work can focus on them again after participating in some outdoor activities or just doing something else. So that means joining in those clubs or organizations can benefit our students' academic performance in return.
Nevertheless, my opinion does not suggest that our academic studies should be abandoned but rather included along with those indispensible factors, like participating in organizations and club activities, which will lead to glory future of our adolescent. Academic performance is still among most parents' top concerns and students have to use their studying report as anchor when applying for the future study. But that does not matter the thing that students will get as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from their academic studies.
All in all, we can safely conclude that those activities will benefit them as much as they can get from academic studies, relaxing their bodies after a tired day, promote their own abilities, learning a good habit to devote to society, and benefit their study in return.
Integrated Writing:
TPO 23
The lecturer claims that three hypotheses mentioned in the reading passage are not convincing and the reason why the populations of yellow cedar decline is still unknown.
Frist, the lecturer argues that beetles or other parasites are not the reason that makes the yellow cedar decline dramatically. This is because there are poisonous chemical compounds in yellow cedars' bark and leaves that makes bugs that eat them die, which means the yellow cedar can resist those beetles. Clearly, the professor's argument disproves its counterpart in the passage that those insects eating yellow cedars' bark and leaves will make its population decline.
Furthermore, the professor believes that the second hypothesis that bears attribute the decline of the yellow cedar is not well-rounded. Then he supports his point with the fact that there are no bears in islands in spite of the decline of the yellow cedar in islands. In other words, the decline of its population is not only in mainland where bears inhabit but also in islands where bears do not live. This point of view is in marked contrast to the assertion in the passage that bears can ruin those trees.
Finally, regarding the third hypothesis that frozen root damage caused by climate change can lead to the decline of this kind of tree, the speaker contends that this speculation is not in accordance with the reality. The passage says that the frozen root damage may kill those trees, which means more trees should die in cold temperature, like in higher elevation. However, the fact is that more trees die in lower elevation, where is warmer.
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-1-24 20:44
太感谢了，我是照模板写的，模板比较啰嗦，难怪，深谢！！！
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-1-24 21:01
Integrated Writing:
TPO 24
The lecturer claim that ridiculous seemsthe announcement of the discovery of the remains in the T. rex's leg bonementioned in the reading passage. Then he rebuts the reading passage's opinionin three following points.
Frist, the lecturer does not argue that thesoft substance in the bone means the remains of the actual blood vessels of T.rex. This is because the soft material in the bone may come from bacteria,which is likely to colonize in the hollow bones. In other words, the softsubstance is the residue left by bacteria. Clearly, the professor's argumentdisprove its counterpart in the reading passage that the soft substance mayrepresent the remains of blood vessels of T. rex.
Moreover, the professor believes that thespheres presenting in the bones may not be red blood cells. Then he supportshis view with the fact that researchers have found some spheres in the fossilsof some animals that do not have red blood cells, which means that the presenceof those spheres in bones cannot prove the existence of red blood cells, as thepassage says.
Finally, regarding the presence ofcollagen, the speaker contends that the dinosaur's collagen cannot exist forsuch a long period at all. He proves this claim is indefensible by pointing outthat the collagen will not be able to exist for more than 100'000 years althoughthe fact is that the fossil has been already present for 17 million years. Thisis in direct contradiction with the claim in the passage that the dinosaur legbone contains collagen.
24 January
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Governments should focus its budgets more on environmental protectionthan on economic development.
Perhaps no issue in this world is assignificant to the prosperity of a country as the economic development. Yetthat does not mean that we should abandon our environment to pursue theeconomic development. On present, we are experiencing an unprecedented climatechange due to the increasing greenhouse gases, citizens have to work in a worseair condition in our cities and a number of dwellers living in remote areacannot drink safely clean water. All those prevailing phenomena remind us topay more attention to our environmental protection. I, given the chance, preferto endorse that government should focus its budget more on environmentalprotection than on economic development.
To begin with, environmental protection isso urgent that those environmental problems have endangered not only our ownlife but also other species' life, so our government has responsibility tofocus its budgets more on environmental protection. For instance,desertification and deforestation have happen to a large scale to build cities,graze, and cultivate farmlands for the sake of the utilitarian purpose, or tobe precise, the economic goal. The deforestation and desertification cause byhuman beings deplete a wide range of habitats of a number of species of floraand fauna, which will cause a variety of extinction of animals and plantsleading to the imbalance of our ecosystem. As the consequence, this willfinally endanger us. There is another example also illustrating this point.Since the industrial revolution started, our human beings have been usingfossil fuels dramatically for about two centuries, causing a large amount ofgreenhouse gases, such as carbon dioxide and methane, into our atmosphere. Theresult is that the greenhouse effect caused by greenhouse gases give rise tothe continue increasing temperature. When our earth become warmer, the glacialin North and South pole begins to melt generating the rise of sea level whichwill eventually overwhelm some island countries.
Furthermore, our protection of environmentwill benefit our economy in return. If our governments focus its budgets moreon environmental protection, no doubt our environment will become cleaner andmore suitable for us to live. But the most crucial thing is that the betterenvironment will attract more visitors to our country, which will stimulate theincrease of economy to some extent. If the tourism develops, it will motivatethe development of catering industry and entertainment industry at the sametime, since no visitors do not long for enjoying local cuisine andentertainment during a trip.
Admittedly, I tend to concede that in somecases, it may be true that governments should focus its budgets more oneconomic development when our citizens would not be able to cope with theproblems of the desire of adequate food and cloth. However, our country hasalready solved those problems at present. What our government should pay moreattention on is how to use more budgets to protect our environment moreefficiently under the circumstance that our environment is too bad to live in.
In brief, for the reasons listed above, wecan safely concluded that governments should focus its budgets more onenvironmental protection than on economic development.
作者: wsxz007 时间: 2013-1-24 22:39
Integrated Writing:
TPO 23 批改
The lecturer claims that three hypotheses mentioned in the reading passage are not convincing and the reason why the populations of yellow cedar decline is still unknown.
Frist, the lecturer argues that beetles or other parasites are not the reason that makes the yellow cedar decline dramatically. This is because there are poisonous chemical compounds in yellow cedars' bark and leaves that makes bugs that eat them die, which means the yellow cedar can resist those beetles. Clearly, the professor's argument disproves its counterpart in the passage that those insects eating yellow cedars' bark and leaves will make its population decline.
Furthermore, the professor believes that the second hypothesis that bears attribute the decline of the yellow cedar is not well-rounded. Then he supports his point with the fact that there are no bears in islands in spite of the decline of the yellow cedar in islands. In other words, the decline of its population is not only in mainland where bears inhabit but also in islands where bears do not live. This point of view is in marked contrast to the assertion in the passage that bears can ruin those trees.
Finally, regarding the third hypothesis that frozen root damage caused by climate change can lead to the decline of this kind of tree, the speaker contends that this speculation is not in accordance with the reality. The passage says that the frozen root damage may kill those trees, which means more trees should die in cold temperature, like in higher elevation. However, the fact is that more trees die in lower elevation, where is warmer.
这个基本没啥问题啊，上一篇好像也是我改的，你写的很熟了，不过要是不太着急考试的话（考前十天半月的），基本知道综合是咋回事就行了，没必要天天练得，综合就是练个手感，建议可以把重心移到独立上，独立好了，综合基本没问题了（当然听力是前提）
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-1-25 15:00
我寒假一完就考啊
作者: bet 时间: 2013-1-25 15:53
改——22 January
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Nowadays it's easier to maintain health than the past
Perhaps no issue in this world is as significant to people's life as health. Despite various responses people may have the topic（give to the question） that whether nowadays it is easier to maintain health than the past. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that we can gain a healthy life nowadays than the past.
Asked what the ever-changing world will do to our modern life, some citizens may answer that living in such a fast-changing world would not be easy and comfortable at all; as everything keeps changing, everyone has to move fast in order to catch up with the majority, which often leads to chronic diseases.这句话说人们因为要加快步伐所以得了慢性疾病？？意思不通啊，可以分成两句写的再明白点儿，或者把后面这句提到stressed的话换到前面Admittedly, the quickened tempo in modern world making（which makes） a wide range of people feel stressed and tired is bad for our heath.这句话我建议这样改，把making后面的部分变成tempo的定语，否则S+Ving+O这种形式做主语好奇怪 But actually, I think that we can easier maintain health at present than in the past. 这一段是一个让步段对吧，单独作为一段又放在首段下面的形式我还没见过，个人感觉有点儿奇怪，因为读起来像有两个开头段，去掉一段也行。要不考虑换个位置？
To begin with, a large number of facilities and equipment built in our communities provide our dwellers a good opportunity to exercise. Looking back to past generations, our grandparents could not find aneligible place to play basketball, for example, when they were children. They must agree that the thought is ridiculous and what every day they worry about is whether they can fill the belly instead of being forever hungry.整句话的时态应该怎么改改，前半句是虚拟语气，后半句是过去时？好复杂啊。。后半句用现在时肯定不对Rusty and old as our basketball playground is, we at least have one and it is unbelievable to have a basketball playground at that age 加上in the past. Our dwellers can aggregate together to play basketball in order to relax themselves after a day's hard work.
Furthermore, people pay more attention to our health, as our medical science become more and more sophisticated and all kinds of media broadcast how to make our bodies healthier. There is no better illustration than the example of my parents. Living in metropolitan area, they are busy in their schedule, chasing their dreams, working hard to buy a house and caring about（taking care of）their children. Yet that(it) does 加上not mean their health are（is） abandoned(ignored) but rather included along with those indispensible factors.后半句实在不会改，主要是没看懂They often watch the programs in the televisions 加上about how to protect(maintain) their health and do some Yoga after work. They are always talking to me(often tell me that) there is nothing more important than the health.
Last but not the least, in our age, we can visit to(删) more professional and sophisticated doctors who often get a doctor degree, 加上and even have studied in famous universities abroad. We do not have to be afraid of many diseases because of advanced medical science and professional doctors. We can lead a healthy life and develop good living habit, since we have a better traditional Chinese medical science.这个论据插入的有点儿突兀，突然到了中医（是这么理解不？）上面，貌似跟现代医学多么发达无关，因为中医古代也有啊，而且后面也没有解释啥的了
All in all, for the reasons above, we can safely conclude that nowadays it is easier to maintain health than the past, for our citizens have better facilities, people at our age more focus on (focus more on) health, and we have more eminent doctors.
本文词汇丰富，语言多彩，可以看出你较好的写作功底，一些语法方面的小问题要注意一下，表达不清的句子改的明白些就好了～～加油加油～～
作者: wsxz007 时间: 2013-1-25 20:20
24 January 批改
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Governments should focus its budgets more on environmental protection than on economic development.
红色的都是小的拼写错误，或者两个单词连在一起了。
Perhaps no issue in this world is as significant to the prosperity of a country as the economic development. 第一句话过于绝对了Yet that does not mean that we should abandon our environment to pursue the economic development. On present, we are experiencing an unprecedented climate change due to the increasing greenhouse gases, citizens have to work in a worse air condition in our cities and a number of dwellers living in remote area cannot drink safely clean water. All those prevailing phenomena remind us to pay more attention to our environmental protection. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that government should focus its budget more on environmental protection than on economic development.
To begin with, environmental protection is so urgent that those environmental problems have endangered not only our own life but also other species' life,第一句指出环境的重要性，很明确很简洁 so our government has responsibility to focus its budgets more on environmental protection. 分论点不必重复总论的内容 For instance,desertification and deforestation have happen to a large scale to build cities,graze, and cultivate farmlands for the sake of the utilitarian purpose, or tobe precise, the economic goal.举例--等等的环境破坏为了急功近利的经济目的，但是作文中例证都是为前面的观点服务的，本段第一句的观点按你写的应该是和总论点一样了，可是分论点在哪里啊？ The deforestation and desertification cause by human beings deplete a wide range of habitats of a number of species of flora and fauna, which will cause a variety of extinction of animals and plants leading to the imbalance of our ecosystem. As the consequence, this will finally endanger us. There is another example also illustrating this point.Since the industrial revolution started, our human beings have been using fossil fuels dramatically for about two centuries, causing a large amount of greenhouse gases, such as carbon dioxide and methane, into our atmosphere. The result is that the greenhouse effect caused by greenhouse gases give rise to the continue increasing temperature. When our earth become warmer, the glacialin North and South pole begins to melt generating the rise of sea level which will eventually overwhelm some island countries.
Furthermore, our protection of environment will benefit our economy in return. If our governments focus its budgets more on environmental protection, no doubt our environment will become cleaner and more suitable for us to live.你是要写好的环境与经济相辅相成还是要写好的环境更适应人类聚居？这应该是两个分论点啊…… But the most crucial thing is that the better environment will attract more visitors to our country, which will stimulate thein crease of economy to some extent. 这里又开始写旅游了……If the tourism develops, it will motivate the development of catering industry and entertainment industry at the same time, since no visitors do not long for enjoying local cuisine and entertainment during a trip. 又写了第三产业拉动第一产业…… 看到这里我已经晕了……
Admittedly, I tend to concede that in some cases, it may be true that governments should focus its budgets more on economic development when our citizens would not be able to cope with the problems of the desire of adequate food and cloth.这句话是要说啥？ However, our country has already solved those problems at present. What our government should pay more attention on is how to use more budgets to protect our environment more efficiently under the circumstance that our environment is too bad to live in.有重复了总论点……
In brief, for the reasons listed above, we can safely concluded that governments should focus its budgets more on environmental protection than on economic development.
这个，楼主的语言功底是在是佩服，句子十分成熟词汇丰富运用得当，是我奋斗的目标。不过这个整个文章的逻辑分析实在是不太清晰。
第一段里，说了环境的重要性，然后开始列举环境各种糟糕现象，我隐隐感觉到楼主想说的是对短期经济利益的盲目追求，造成了现在的环境问题。可是表明分论点的句子在哪里啊 亲……
第二段开始写了好的经济环境可以促进经济和改善人类居住环境，拉动旅游业……我用力的想，勉强想到了总论点，可是逻辑链十分微弱。
第三段，我彻底懵了……
楼主的文章只要逻辑稍加整理句子调调顺序就是非常好的文章，可是现在实在是太难抓到文章梗概了。
本篇文章四个名词 政府 预算 环境 经济 一个副词 更多
1环境很重要，破坏不可逆，但人们没有充分意识到环境的重要性，以及环境糟糕的现状，需要政府宏观调控，显示威力
2 环境的可持续发展与经济发展人类生存息息相关相辅相成，而现在的环境保护跟不上经济发展的脚步，需调整
3 辩证的看待问题，不仅要关心环境，政府也要正确的看待经济发展，引导正确经济发展方向，摒弃原始的以环境破坏为代价的经济发展，更多投资于可持续发展经济项目
这个是我在你的文章基础上总结的，尚不成熟仅供参考哈……
作者: wsxz007 时间: 2013-1-25 23:38
24的综合 我也看完了，逻辑都对了，就木有啥问题了，就是每次写完后先贴到word上检查一下吧，那个连字的现象很多。
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-1-26 07:50
标题: 1月25日独立
Perhaps, no issue is as significant to the propertiy of a country asthe youth. Currently, everyone is talking
about the problems of the youth. Smarter as nowadays teenagers seemto be, most of seniors believe that they are more selfish, more egoentric, andmore indifferent with our world. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse thattoday's young people are less willing to help people than the past generationsare.
To begin with, we are now living in an age of revolution with noprevious human exprience that can be referred to. The modern world moves sofast that we do not feel easy and comfortable at all. Everyone has to move fastincluding our youths in order to catch up with the majority in thisever-changing world. Our young people are enforced to learn a second languagefor the sake of a better university and published a number of papers in orderto get a handsome job. Our youths are too busy to notice the old or disablepeople who need their necessary help in this fast-changing world, even if it shouldhave been their responsiblity to help those inneed people. In spite of thedisire to give a hand for others, the new generation of young people are urgedto do something more crucial by their parents or teachers for the utilitirianpurpose. So when facing people in need, what our young people do is more likelyto go away instead of helping them like our past generation, since what ourseniors need to consider is that they have to burdon more than the pastgeneration do.
Furthermore, another detrimental factor that make our youths moreindifferent is the prevailing deception in our modern world. Facing the commondeception, our adolescent prefers to keep indifferent and go away rather thanhelp people who seem to be in need. For instance, a friend of mine has beendecepted recently. When he went back home from the school, he saw an old womanlying on the road painfully. Without hesitation, he went to help her. However,what made him annoyed and surprised was that the old lady assured that it wasmy friend who pushed her down and asked my friend to pay money back. As aresult, my friend was unwilling to give her some money angrily. Therefore, ouryoung people less help others than thepast generations due to such phenomena in case of jeopardizing their own profits.
Last but not the least, there is another significant factor thatgive negative influence on our teenagers. That is that our educational systempay more attention on pragmatic things instead of moral education. Although notonly do our teenagers learn how to solve difficult academic problems but alsothey enter into an awesome university, they do not even know they areresponsible to help peope in need. As a consequence, the new generation is lesswilling to help others than the past generations are.
All in all, as the reasons listed above that our youths focus moreon urgent things, helping others may jeopardize their profits, and oureducational system is more pragmitic, we can safely conclude that the newgeneration of youths are less likely to help others than the past generationsare.
作者: SMS 时间: 2013-1-26 11:32
tsyxyss你好，膜拜了你的文章，真是望尘莫及啊。我现在能看出来的只有些单词连在一起的小错误，不知道为什么会有那么多那样的错误，可能你打字太快了。我希望今天晚上能抓紧完成我的作业，明天一天没时间，所以这次非常抱歉不能在你的作业上涂鸦了。请告知队长，实在不好意思。
另外，好像题目变了。是不是要写新出来的这篇 啊？
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-1-26 21:05
那个好像是今天的，不知道为甚嚒粘贴过来格式就有问题。。。
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-1-26 21:13
IndependentWriting:
Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement:
Nowadays people spend too much money on their pets, althoughthose can be spent on other things. What's your point?
Perhaps no doubt that pets play a more and more significant rolein our daily life in this ever-changing world. Young people raise pets as akind of interest while seniors feed pets in order to cope with the lonelinessin their hearts. However, I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that we canspend more money on other things instead of pets.
To begin with, as the world keeps changing fast, we can spend themoney to raise pets cultivating and recharging ourselves in order to catch upwith the majority. I advocate there is no better example to illustrate thepoint than this example that we can choose to use the amount of money topurchase some academic books, philosophical books, and motivational books.Nowadays I take leaves to say our youths seldom spend their time or moneystudying but rather entertaining themselves infinitely, such as raising a pet.Nevertheless, not only can reading books broaden our adolescents' knowledgelevel, which is important for our youths in this fast-changing world, but alsowe can know how to lead a happy life in this uneasy world.
Furthermore, in another perspective, we can spend that money goingto see a movie or having a party with our friends, which can provide us anopportunity to enhance our friendship. Although ridiculous and luxurious seemthose sorts of activities, one will believe it will be more beneficial thanraising pets for the sake of the utilitarian purpose. In our modern world, itis often our friends who can give us a hand under the circumstance that we willnot be able to get help from sisters or brothers like our parents, since mostof us do not have sisters or brothers. When finding a job or get a conflict in academicstudy, our friends are always standing behind us. So spending some money onsuch things to have a chance to communicate with friends is definitely muchbetter than staying home to raise a pet in silent, which will not talk with youat all.
Last but not the least, traveling to somewhere else is not worse than raising a pet. During a trip, one can experience a very distinctiveculture and enjoy some local cuisines, which must be a great relaxingopportunity. And the trip can end your mundane and monotonous life you arebored with. After a trip, one will find that it will be easier to tolerate thestressful and painstaking work. The travelling experience will help one keep things in perspective.
All in all, for the above reasons that we can spend those money toraise pets in recharging ourselves, having fun with friends, and travelling thatare more beneficial, we can safely conclude that we should spend less money onpets.
我也不知道为什么一预览就好多词连一块儿了。。。。
作者: perfectends 时间: 2013-1-27 14:28
标题: 23 January Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Perhaps no issue in this world is as significant to our students' future as our performance in academic studies. However, we should not ignore the benefits of organization or club activities to our students. It is not rare in our modern world that numerous students focusing merely on study（加上while negleting exercise so they）get mental diseases or physical diseases. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that students can get as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from their academic studies.
To begin with, our youths can relax themselves and refresh their mind by attending different kinds of organizations and club activities after a day's effort on academic studies. For instance, I have taken part in table tennis club in our school, where I practice my skills with all sorts of students from different departments who have the same interest. Throwing away our complicated academic problems, we assembly （assembly是名词，少谓语）every Saturday afternoon and play table tennis together. We become friends and share experience with each other no matter who they are. Thus, students will be able to have a good experience that will leave them a relaxed mind by participating those after class activities.
（兄台功底很好啊，本段除了这个小错，好像没了啊，全剩下赞了）
Furthermore, joining in organizations and clubs can sometimes promote teenagers' a variety of abilities and develop a good habit to benefit our society. There is no better illustration than the example that if one is a leader of a voluntary organization,he can not only promote his organizing ability but also devote his spare time to helping society.这理由好啊He can realize the meaning of his life and gain happy mood from the devotion although he may sacrifice his invaluable time for voluntary work, which seem to have little utilitarian use.这句型使用自如，词汇精到，太强大了
Moreover, it is beneficial for teenagers' academic studies to take part in organizations and club activities. According to a recent psychological result, tired and stressful people who are not able to be concentrate on their study or work can focus on them again after participating in some outdoor activities or just doing something else. So that means joining in those clubs or organizations can benefit our students' academic performance in return.段落结构很好啊，最后还小结了
Nevertheless,my opinion does not suggest that our academic studies should be abandoned but rather included along with those indispensible factors, like participating in organizations and club activities, which will lead to glory future of our adolescent. Academic performance is still among most parents' top concerns and students have to use their studying report as anchor when applying for the future study. But that does not matter the thing that students will get as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from their academic studies.
All in all, we can safely conclude that those activities will benefit them as much as they can get from academic studies, relaxing their bodies after a tired day, promote their own abilities, learning a good habit to devote to society, and benefit their study in return.
太强大了，这是创作高分范文么？除了个别小错误，没什么可修改啊。。。学习了。
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-1-27 21:51
标题: 27号（还是那个问题，粘贴过来一预览就会有连俩词问题）包涵
27 January
IndependentWriting:
Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement?
It is onlyworth watching movies that can teach us something about real life.
Perhaps, no issue is as significant to people's lifeas movies on present, as the scope of which continues to grow, and as thetechnology and equipment of movies becoming more and more sophisticated, and sofascinating that nobody will be able to repel the temptation. Movies have sucha great negative influence on adolescents that a number of them imitate their heroesto smoke or dye their hairs. Therefore, I, given the chance, prefer to endorsethat it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about reallife.
To begin with, we should watch movies that can help usbecome more brave and courageous. For instance, the movie, 2012, depicts howpeople survive from the worldwide disaster. Confronting the great catastrophe,the leading character with his family in this movie goes through all sorts offormidable difficulties, such as the eruption of volcanoes, the tsunami, andthe earthquake. In the end, they survive. This movie is only one of thosebeneficial movies that can teach us to be a brave man, where heroes are alwaysconsidered as the symbol of brave, smart, and strong-willed who are dare towalk fearlessly towards challenges. As a consequence, motivated by them, webecome more and more confident and make our minds to be the truth seeker thatwill insist on overcoming every tough difficulty to stop being mundane andmediocre.
Furthermore, movies that will be able to leave us apositive mind are extremely beneficial for us to watch. In this fast-changing world, mental diseases,such as the depression, can be often traced back to both the loneliness and thepressure. The best way to cope with those diseases is trying to view everythingin this world with a positive mind, which we can get from worthy movies. Andthere is no better example than Forrest Gump, which depicts several decades inthe life of Forrest Gump, a naive and slow-witted yet athletically prodigiousnative of Alabama who witnesses some of the defining events of the latter halfof the 20th century in the United States. Although disable seems Forrest Gump,he overcomes all of difficulties positively, which appears to be impossible formost of us. That always reminds me that tragedy is not really far removed fromcomedy, so I never get a lop-sided view of things.
Admittedly, quite meaningless as many movies are, theymake you get a life out of your work and study. This is vital to avoid foreverbiding your time in study or work you are bored with. It is the relaxations youget from those movies that make you easier tolerate the mundane and monotonouswork. Nonetheless, I have to claim that what we get from such entertainingmovies is much less than the worthy movies.
All in all, from the reasons listed above, we cansafely conclude that it is only worth watching movies that can teach ussomething about real life.
IntegratedWriting:
TPO 4
The lecturer does not believe that dinosaurs were endotherms,which is not in agreement with the reading passage.
Frist, the lecturer claim that the discovery ofdinosaurs' fossils in Polar Regions cannot prove dinosaurs were endotherms.This is because at that time the Polar Regions were much warmer than nowadays.In addition, dinosaurs could migrate to warmer places or hibernated during inharsh weather. The professor’s argument disproves its counterpart in thepassage that the finding of polar dinosaurs means dinosaurs were endotherms.
Furthermore, the professor does not argue that dinosaur’sleg position means they were endotherms. He supports his point with the factthat dinosaurs' legs that are underneath their body are to support their heavybody. In other words, their leg position is not in order to sustain physicalactivity, like endotherms. So the point of is in marked contrast to theassertion of the passage.
Finally, regarding the existence of haversian canalsin dinosaurs' bones, the speaker contends that there are also growth rings intheir bones, which exist when dinosaurs stop growing or grow slowly in coldcondition. That means haversian canals may not be the evidence for the thingthat dinosaurs were endotherms, which is in direct contradiction with the claimin the passage.
作者: 慕禾 时间: 2013-1-28 18:15
黄色出彩 蓝色建议 红色加粗错误
Perhaps, no issue is as significant to people's life as movies on (at) present, as the scope of which continues to grow, and as the technology and equipment of movies becoming(become) more and more sophisticated, and so fascinating that nobody will be able to repel the temptation. Movies have such a great negative influence on adolescents that a number of them imitate their heroes to smoke or dye their hairs. Therefore, I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life.
To begin with, we should watch movies that can help us become more brave and courageous.(which can easily enable us to gain more bravery and courage) For instance, the movie, 2012, depicts how people survive from the worldwide disaster. Confronting the great catastrophe,the leading character with his family in this movie goes(went) through all sorts of formidable difficulties, such as the eruption of volcanoes, the tsunami, and the earthquake. In the end, they survive. This movie is only one of those beneficial movies that can teach us to be a brave man, where heroes are always (being)[always 多与Ving连用加强语气] considered as the symbol of brave, smart, and strong-willed (bravery,brightness and the firm will) who are dare to walk fearlessly towards challenges. As a consequence, motivated by them, we become more and more confident(we are likely to obtain much more confidence and perseverance than before) and make our minds to be the truth seeker that will insist on overcoming every tough difficulty to stop being mundane and mediocre.
Furthermore, movies that will be able to leave us a positive mind are extremely beneficial for us to watch. In this fast-changing world, mental diseases,such as the depression, can be often traced back to both the loneliness and the pressure. The best way to cope with those diseases is trying to view everything in this world with a positive mind, which we can get from worthy movies. And there is no better example than Forrest Gump, which depicts several decades in the life of Forrest Gump(FG's life changes during several decades), a naive and slow-witted yet athletically prodigious native of Alabama who witnesses some of the defining events of the latter half of the 20th century in the United States. Although disable seems Forrest Gump,he overcomes all of difficulties positively, which appears to be impossible for most of us. That always reminds me that tragedy is not really far removed from comedy, so I never get a lop-sided view of things.（词汇很棒，学习了）
Admittedly, quite meaningless as many movies are, they make you get a life out of your work and study. This is vital to avoid forever biding your time in study or work you are bored with. It is the relaxations you get from those movies that make you easier tolerate the mundane and monotonous work. Nonetheless, I have to claim that what we get from such entertaining movies is much less than the worthy movies.（这一段是让步段，大意明白，但逻辑有些混乱，建议再修改一下措词）
All in all, from the reasons listed above, we can safely conclude that it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life.
优点：
句式变化丰富，很多倒装和从句，难词使用较多，看得出lz功底不错
改进：
逻辑不是特别清楚，某些地方转折的有些牵强，比如第一段和让步段，没有说清楚非real life的movie是如何的不好，只是大体带过然后接着说only worth watching blabla感觉有点不自然，可能还是论据不够充分吧。
某些词汇使用频率较高，建议多变换一下，哪怕是一些小词。记住准确第一。
模板有些重了，比如from the reasons listed above, we can safely conclude that这类的话尽量还是少用一些。
总的来说还是很棒的一篇习作，小地方多注意下，逻辑再清晰一些。lz继续加油，争取冲刺满分~
作者: SMS 时间: 2013-1-30 12:37
23日请问
All in all, we can safely conclude that those activities will benefit them as much as they can get from academic studies, relaxing their bodies after a tired day, promote their own abilities, learning a good habit to devote to society, and benefit their study in return.
为什么promote 和benefit不用promoting和benefiting呢？
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-1-31 18:35
应该用，呵呵
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-1-31 22:11
标题: 31号
31 January
IndependentWriting:
Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement?
Your job hasgreater happiness than your social work.
Perhaps, no issue is as significant to one's life ashis job. Despite various responses, people may have the problem whether yourjob has greater happiness than your social work. Nowadays, there is a solid bodyof the opinion that social work can only make a person more tired and unhappy,since everyone has to move fast in order to catch the majority without time todo other things. However, some people may argue that one's life can be morecolorful by participating into social works, which will definitely make themhappier. I, given the chance, prefer to advocate that one's job has greaterhappiness than one's social work.
To begin with, social works will be able to leave onea relaxed and happy mind from monotonous and mundane work. We should get a lifeoutside work. It is vital to escape from the swamp that we are forever bidingour time in our job we are tired with. By participating into a social work,which one does not need to worry about the quality and your efficiencyparticularly, one will gain a relaxed mind and become more tolerated of thestressfully ever-changing world. Even though happy seems one's job, one will bedrawn to chase the utilitarian purpose and evaluated by a criterion based on theprofits one makes inevitably in thismodern world that is extremely pragmatic. Thus, one will gain a more relaxedand happier mind than one's job.
Furthermore, taking part in social works can encourageus to see everything in a positive way and develop a habit to devote to thesociety, which will provide us more happiness. There is no better illustrationthan the example that one devotes his spare time to the voluntary works, like awork in an elementary school without good facilities and environment in a poorarea. One will experience the poverty he never know and try his best to cherishthe valuable time he have. Facing all kinds of tough difficulties in voluntarywork one cannot get from your job, one will be forced to walk towardsformidable challenges positively in the future. One sacrifices his invaluabletime for the voluntary work, which has little utilitarian, however, not onlydoes he learn to see everything in a positive way but also he will realize themeaning of the world. Without hesitation, all of these will be attached to thehappiness of a person.
Finally, the expansion of the circle of one's friendsgetting from social work is another critical factor that can provide morehappiness than our jobs. Joining in social works suggest that one will stepinto a totally distinctive world from one's monotonous work. People assemblefrom a large scale of different kind of careers in social works. One can makefriends with others having the same interest and share his unique experiencewith each other. What they go through in social work colors one's life. Nevertheless,in one's office, what one views every day is always the same scene, the samepeople, the same work place. Although one is keen on his job, it is a littlemore monotonous than social work.
In summary,considering all the perspectives listed above, we can safely conclude thatone's job has greater happiness than one's social work.
IntegratedWriting:
TPO8
The lecturer claims that virtually most parts of thememoir Chevalier has done are accurate, which is not in agreement with thereading passage that Chevalier distorted and invented many events in thememoir.
First, the lecturer rebuts that borrowing money fromothers means Chevalier was very poor in Switzerland mentioned in passage. Thisis because he had not converted his assets to cash when he longed for the cashthat could be used for parties and gambling, even though rich seeded Chevalier.This is in marked contrast to the argument in the passage.
Moreover, the professor claims that the conversationbetween Chevalier and Voltaire is accurate enough. Then he supports this pointwith the fact that Chevalier jotted down after each conversation with Voltaireand consulted notes when composing, which suggest he had not invented anyevents of the conversation with Voltaire. Clearly, the professor's argumentdisproves its counterpart in the reading passage that the conversation betweenChevalier and Voltaire is not accurate.
Finally, regarding Chevalier's escape from prison, thespeaker does not contend that the Chevaliers jailers were bribed to free him,which is proved by the passage. He proves that this claim is indefensible bypointing out that there were some prisoners even having more powerful friends.They could not bribe jailers to free them. Also, the fact that people repairedthe ceiling of the prison Chevalier lived means the possibility he escaped fromceiling, which is in direct contradiction with the passage.
作者: libertine 时间: 2013-2-1 13:24
31 January
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Your job has greater happiness than your social work.
erhaps, no issueis as significant to one's life as his job. Despite various responses （不知道这句话放在这里有什么作用）, people may have the problem whether yourjob has greater happiness than your (和前面的people对应，改成their)social work. Nowadays, there is a solid body of 好！ the opinion that social work can only make aperson more tired and unhappy, since everyone has to move fast in order tocatch the majority without time to do other things（这句话容易产生歧义，建议改成as a result, there is no time left to doother things）. However, some people may argue that one's life can bemore colorful by participating into（建议直接写成in） social works, which will definitely make them happier.I, given the chance（感觉用在这里不恰当，建议改成if I have the chance to state my opinion）, prefer to advocate that one's job has greaterhappiness than one's social work. (下面写的都是社会工作更快乐，而这里写的是工作更快乐，笔者下次要注意！)
To begin with,social works will be able to leave one a relaxed and happy mind from monotonousand mundane work. We should get a life outside work. It is vital to escapefrom the swamp that we are forever biding our time in our job we are tiredwith.(定语从句有误，应该改成It is vital to escape from the tiring job the swampthat we are forever biding our time in) By participating into（建议直接写成in） asocial work, which one does not need to（直接写成needn’t就好） worry about the quality (+of) and your（应该改成his，和前面的one匹配） efficiency particularly, one will gain arelaxed mind and become more tolerated of the stressfully (去掉ly) ever-changing world. Even though happy seems one's job, one will be drawn to chase the utilitarianpurpose and evaluated by a criterion based on the profits one makes inevitably（没看懂放在这里是什么意思） inthis modern world that is extremely pragmatic. 好！Thus, one will gain a more relaxed and happiermind than one's job.
为什么不需要worry about the quality 和 efficiency，我觉得两个都需要关心啊。。你做社会工作，随便找一个凑合就行了吗？还是需要找一个认认真真来做？况且，效率很低的话，你做它干嘛，这不就是单纯的浪费时间吗？
Furthermore,taking part in social works can encourage us to see everything in a positiveway and develop a habit to devote to the society, which will provide us morehappiness. There is no better illustration han （估计这里是笔误than） the example that one devotes his sparetime to the voluntary works, like a work in an elementary school without goodfacilities and environment in a poor area. One will experience the poverty henever know and try his best to cherish the valuable time he have. Facing allkinds of tough difficulties in voluntary work one cannot get from your (和前面的one对应，改成his) job, one will be forced to walk towards formidablechallenges positively in the future. One sacrifices his invaluable time for thevoluntary work, 从这里往上数，出现了好多one啊。。which has（后面utilitarian是adj，所以has应该改成is） littleutilitarian, however, not only does he learn to see everything in a positiveway but also he will realize the meaning of the world. Without hesitation, allof these will be attached to the happiness of a person.
Finally, theexpansion of the circle of one's friends getting (这里应该是被动got) from social work is another critical factor that canprovide more happiness than our (和前面的one对应，改成his) jobs.Joining in social works suggest that one will step into a totally distinctiveworld from one's monotonous work. People assemble from a large scale ofdifferent kind （+s） of careers in social works （去掉s，work不可数）. One can make friends with others having thesame interest and share his unique experience with each other. What they gothrough in social work colors one's life. Nevertheless, in one's office, whatone views every day is always the same scene, the same people, the same workplace. Although one is keen on his job, it is a little more monotonous thansocial work.
In summary, consideringall the perspectives listed above, we can safely conclude that one's job hasgreater happiness than one's social work. (上面写的都是社会工作更快乐，而这里写的是工作更快乐，笔者下次要注意！)
最后觉得，其实作文没必要写那么多字吧。。。看起来很费劲的说。。况且一篇文章是否能得高分，主要是看他的内容而不是字数，与其花时间写这么多字，还不如多思考一下例子的合理性，看看已经写的东西是否合理。
IntegratedWriting:
TPO8
The lecturer claims that virtually most parts of the memoirChevalier has done are accurate, which is not in agreement with the readingpassage that Chevalier distorted and invented many events in the memoir.
First, the lecturer rebuts that borrowing money from othersmeans Chevalier was very poor in Switzerland mentioned in passage. This isbecause he had not converted his assets to cash when he longed for the cash thatcould be used for parties and gambling, even though rich seeded(没明白这个是什么意思) Chevalier. This is in marked contrast to the argument inthe passage. （感觉这里缺细节Sub pointone: property, sell first, a few days, waiting for his money）
Moreover, the professor claims that the conversation betweenChevalier and Voltaire is accurate enough. Then he supports this point with thefact that Chevalier jotted（不准确，听力说的是写下everything） down after each conversation with Voltaire andconsulted notes when composing, which suggest he had not invented any events ofthe conversation with Voltaire. Clearly, the professor's argument disproves itscounterpart in the reading passage that the conversation between Chevalier andVoltaire is not accurate. （感觉这里缺细节Sub pointtwo: wrote down everything, kept his notes, Witnesses, consulted notes andjournals）
Finally, regarding Chevalier's escape from prison, the speakerdoes not contend that the Chevaliers jailers were bribed to free him, which isproved by the passage. He proves that this claim is indefensible by pointingout that there were some prisoners even having more powerful friends. Theycould not bribe jailers to free them. Also, the fact that people repaired theceiling of the prison Chevalier lived means the possibility he escaped from ceiling,which is in direct contradiction with the passage. 好！
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-2-3 21:22
3 February
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Working at home using computers or telephones is better than working inthe office.
Currently, telecommuting becomes more andmore common in this fast-changing world although modern attitudes towards totelecommuting range from infinitely impressed to thoroughly disgusted. Asalways, there is a solid body of the opinion that telecommuting is much morecomfortable and convenient. One has no worry about traffic jams and is able towork wherever one wants at home. On the other hand, a variety of peopleadvocate working in the office is better because of better facilities andenvironment. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that working in the officeis better than telecommuting.
To begin with, there is no doubt to saythat one can have better facilities and equipment in the office, which isbeyond the reach of telecommuters. It is vital to have advanced equipment inorder to complete assignments more efficiently. In other words, one canconcentrate on his work with advanced equipment rather than waste a largeamount of time to cope with the equipment’s' problems. In addition, sometimesworker in some specific field, especially experimental science, cannot work athome just by using computers or telephones. They need experimental devices,which are often so expensive that few people are willing to spend their moneyon them to just work at home. Also, dangerous seems working at home for thesake of a little convenience.
Aside from advanced equipment in theoffice, the easy access to cooperate with others is another crucial factor thatdetermines working in the office is better than telecommuting. Dealing with allkinds of assignments, one will definitely confront numerous problems thatcannot be simply solved by individual. Namely, a lot of tough difficulties meetingin the work have to be solved in team work. One will be able to talk andcooperate with each other conveniently to deal with a problem in the office.Quite comfortable and convenient as telecommuting is, it is not seemly easy tocommunicate with each other with the computer or the cell phone when one isstuck by a problem that has to be solved immediately.
Admittedly, working at home by usingcomputers and telephones is so beneficial and comfortable that everyone dreamsabout. Under the drowsy sunshine, one can ease into a workday in a pair offuzzy slippers, avoiding the time and cost involved in commuting and presumablyhaving a more flexible schedule and a better work-life balance. Beneficialseems telecommuting, however, according to a recent research, those who worksat home are more likely to work overtime, an additional 5 to 7 hours on top ofthe standard 40. Using computers andtelephones to work at home actually is not an easy work as one might consider.They do not know when to stop work since they have already regarded the home aswork place.
All in all, as the reasons listed above, wecan safely concluded that working in the office is better than working at homeusing computers or telephones.
Integrated Writing:
TPO11
The lecturer does not advocate the factthat less people are reading literature at present is unfortunate, mentioned inthe reading passage.
First, the lecturer argues that there is alarge range of books providing the intellectual stimulation that literaturedoes. He prove his view indefensible by pointing that not only literature butalso other kinds of books, such as science writing and history books, can beequally high quality. These books can also stimulate intellect and creativeimagination. The assertion of the professor suggests the view of the passage isso lop-sided, which only admit the intellectual stimulation of literature.
Moreover, the professor debuts the passagethat diverting time previous spent in reading literature to other forms of expressionis not a culture decline but a culture change. He illustrates his point withthe example of movies and music concerts, which provide valuable culturematerials to people in a different way. In other words, other kinds of forms ofexpression can promote the level of culture in a distinctive way, which is indirect contradiction with the passage.
Finally, the speaker believes that the factthat writers get less support from publishers should be authors' faults ratherthan readers' faults. This is because what writers write nowadays is sodifficult to understand that nobody is willing to buy them, which means theliterature written nowadays cannot attract people in the past generations. Therefore,the speaker's argument disproves its counterpart in the passage.
作者: Tanyar 时间: 2013-2-4 19:45
2.3 独立
Currently, telecommuting becomes more and more common in this fast-changing world although modern attitudes towards telecommuting range from infinitely impressed to thoroughly disgusted. As always, there is a solid body of the opinion that telecommuting is much more comfortable and convenient. One has no worry about traffic jams and is able to work wherever (whenever) one wants at home. On the other hand, a variety of people advocate working in the office is better because of better facilities and environment. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that working in the office is better than telecommuting.
To begin with, there is no doubt to say that one can have better facilities and equipment in the office, which is beyond the reach of telecommuters. It is vital to have advanced equipment in order to complete assignments more efficiently. In other words, one can concentrate on his work with advanced equipment rather than waste a large amount of time to cope with the equipment’s' problems. In addition, sometimes worker in some specific field, especially experimental science, cannot work at home just by using computers or telephones. They need experimental devices, which are often so expensive that few people are willing to spend their money on them to just work at home. Also, dangerous seems working at home for the sake of a little convenience.
To begin with, there is no doubt that we can enjoy better facilities and equipment in the office, which is beyond the reach of telecommuters. Advanced equipment is essential for employees to concentrate on their work rather than waste time and thus complete assignments more efficiently. In addition, sometimes workers, especially for those science researchers, cannot work at home just by computers or telephones. They need, for example, experimental devices, which are often so expensive that few people can afford them, let alone the potential danger they have to face in the process of experiment.
Aside from advanced equipment in the office, the easy access to cooperate with others is another crucial factor that determines working in the office is better than telecommuting. (to demonstrate the superiority of working in the office). Dealing with all kinds of assignments, one will definitely confront numerous problems that cannot be simply solved by individual. Namely, a lot of tough difficulties meeting (met) in the work have to be solved in team work. One will be able to talk and cooperate with each other conveniently to deal with a problem in the office. Quite comfortable and convenient as telecommuting is, it is not seemly easy to communicate with each other with the computer or the cell phone when one is stuck by a problem that has to be solved immediately.
Admittedly, working at home by using computers and telephones is so beneficial and comfortable that everyone dreams about it. Under the drowsy sunshine, one can ease into a workday in a pair of fuzzy slippers, avoiding the time and cost involved in commuting and presumably having a more flexible schedule and a better work-life balance. Beneficial seems telecommuting, however, according to a recent research, those who works at home are more likely to work overtime, an additional 5 to 7 hours on top of the standard 40. Using computers and telephones to work at home actually is not an easy work as one might consider. They do not know when to stop work since they have already regarded the home as work place.
All in all, as the reasons listed above, we can safely concluded that working in the office is better than working at home using computers or telephones.
没有什么语法错误，内容详实，尤其是有细节描写。结尾可以再加一句升华，而其他段落论述得则有点啰嗦，个人觉得，虽然字数多是个得分亮点，但是不必要的赘述可能反而会使考官对文章打折扣。
根据你的意思改了第二段，只略微变动了句式。
个人意见，仅供参考^_^
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-2-4 21:46
4 February
Independent Writing:
1.When you are assigned to finish writing about an importantpresentation in a month,which way do you prefer?
A.To start working on it right away.
B.Wait until you have a good idea about it.
Nowadays, with the technology becoming moreand more sophisticated, the tempo of our life quickens to great extent.Regarding the problem listed above, as always, there is a solid body of opinionthat we should start working on it rightaway, since we have to move fast in order to catch up the majority in this fast-changing world. On the other hand, somepeople may argue that wait until you have a good idea about it for the sake ofthe good quality. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that I would work onit right away.
To begin with, working fast can leave memore sufficient time to do other meaningful things, which can refresh my mindand equip my mind with knowledge. In this modern world, everyone is alwaysworking for the sake of utilitarian purposes. But it is vital to get a lifeoutside your work you are bored with, preventing you biding your time in yourstressful and mundane work forever. If I finish my assignment in advance, I canspend my time on all sorts of books, which will be able to not only broaden myknowledge level but also leave a positive mind to view everything. It is thatbook that reminds me that tragedy is not always removed far from comedy, then Inever get a lop-sided view of the thing. After reading those books, I find itbecomes easier to tolerate the monotonous work and the reading helps me keepthings in perspective.
Aside from sufficient time one can savefrom the fast work, a faster pace can also mean a better result. Good resultcomes from one's great effort paying on them. Actually, no one is willing tothink about the presentation if one decides to wait for a good idea. What theyoften do is to convert their invaluable time to relax. In the end, if they still cannot come up agood idea, what should they do? No doubt, those who wait until they have a goodidea about it often cannot get a successful consequence. Just likeexaminations, you can have extra time to review and reconsider if you finishthem quickly. On the contrary, you may have to solve a number of formidabledifficulties you leave at the end of exam, for you have spent more time on easyproblems. So the faster you work, the better result is.
The last but not the least, working fastcan help one have more preparation for the next challenge. For those who waituntil the good idea comes out, they may ease into a workday in a fuzzy slipperwith drowsy sunshine but they will be extremely stressful and painstaking ifanother assignment comes out. Under the heavy pressure to work double assignmentsimultaneously, it is tough to accomplish any of them successfully. Bycontrast, if one has completed the former assignment, he does not to be worryabout the time to accomplish the next mission. And he can prepare his nextmission sufficiently so that it is not a difficult thing to get a good result.
All in all, from the reasons listed above,we can safely conclude that starting working on it right away is better thanwaiting until I have a good idea about it when I am assigned to finish writingabout an important presentation in a month.
Integrated Writing:
TPO12
The lecturer rebuts the argument in thepassage that a teenage girl in a professional painting recently for sale isJane Austen.
Frist, the lecture argues that the familydid not know whether the girl portrayed in the painting is Austen. This isbecause the time that Austen's family gave permission to use the portrait as anillustration in an edition of her letter was 70 years after Austen's death. Inother words, the family members did not even have seen Austen at that time. Sothe assertion made by her family that the girl is Austen, mentioned in passage,is not convincing.
Moreover, the professor claims that thegirl may be another teenager girl like Austen in her family although thepassage says the portrait resembles the one in Cassandra's sketch, which weknow depict Austen. Then he prove his point indefensible by pointing Austen'sfamily is so large that there may be a number of teenagers close to Austen,which means the girl depicted in the painting may another girl in her family.
Finally, the speaker advocates that thepainting was not finished by Oozes Humphrey, although the style is like his. Hedemonstrates his view with the fact that there is a stamp on the back of thepicture, which shows the canvas of the picture was sold by William. But thething is that he did not sell it in London when Austen was a teenager, which meansAusten was older than the teenage girl in the painting when it was accomplished. So it is not possible that the portraitwas painted by Oozes Humphrey, which the passage asserts.
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-2-5 20:41
5 February
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Nowadays students do not respect their teachers as much as in the past.
Currently, there is a solid body of opinionthat nowadays students do not respect their teachers as much as in the past. Ifit is true—which I take leave to argue—then it is the older people and theenvironment that create it, not the young themselves.
To begin with, the changing educationalenvironment is a crucial factor that has a enormous influence on our youth.First, let us look back a little bit. Those past generations of educators paymore attention on the social manner andeven the religious ritual. They believe the eligible manner is much moreimportant than the learning process itself. In addition, teachers wererespected to great extent at that age. At present, in this ever-changing world,the utilitarian purpose is embraced so much that sometimes our adolescentsignore the significance of the respect to teachers. No educators nowadays teachstudents why and how to respect our parents and our teachers. What they educateis the pragmatic things, especially how to get a satisfying grade for the sakeof a better job in the future. As a result, teenagers abandon those goodmanners and convert their invaluable time to chase utilitarian profits.
Aside from the change of educationalenvironment, our new generation of youths seems to be busier than the pastgenerations. Our youths may be too busy to notice the details to respect ourteacher. Although more sophisticated seems the technology, living in thisfast-changing world is not easy and comfortable at all. As the world changesfast, our youths have to move fast in order to catch up with the majority.Older people is forever picturing our youths easing into a day in a fuzzyslipper with the drowsy sunshine but the thing is that our adolescents have tolearn a second language in order to apply for a university and have to read anumber of academic books for the sake of a better academic performance. So ouradolescents may neglect the thing to express our respect to our teachers.
Last but not the least, there is not arational criterion to value a person in modern world, which is merely dependedon the financial level of a person. As we all know, teachers in the age oftendo not have a high financial level. Therefore, students may look down on ourteachers.
In brief, I agree that nowadays students donot respect their teachers as much as in the past. And I believe that thereasons that lead to the result are the educational environment, the busyschedule of our youths, and the dubious criterion to evaluate a person.
作者: perfectends 时间: 2013-2-5 23:21
标题: 改2.4
Nowadays, with the technology becoming moreand more sophisticated, the tempo of our life quickens to great extent.Regarding the problem listed above, as always, there is a solid body of opinionthat we should start working on it rightaway, since we have to move fast in order to catch up the majority in this fast-changing world. On the other hand, somepeople may argue that wait until you have a good idea about it for the sake ofthe good quality. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that I would work onit right away.
To begin with, working fast can leave memore sufficient time to do other meaningful things, which can refresh my mindand equip my mind with knowledge. In this modern world, everyone is alwaysworking for the sake of utilitarian purposes. But it is vital to get a lifeoutside your work you are bored with, preventing 伴随状语，赞you biding your time in yourstressful and mundane work forever. If I finish my assignment in advance, I canspend my time on all sorts of books, which will be able to not only broaden myknowledge level but also leave a positive mind to view everything. It is that
Aside from sufficient time one can savefrom the fast work, a faster pace can also mean a better result. Good resultcomes from one's great effort paying on them. Actually, no one is willing tothink about the presentation if one he/ she(2个one太重复了）decides to wait for a good idea. What theyoften do is to convert theirinvaluable valuable(按照invaluable,逻辑不对了）time to relax. In the end, if they still cannot come up agood idea, what should they do? No doubt, those who wait until they have a goodidea about it often cannot get a successful consequence. Just likeexaminations, you can have extra time to review and reconsider if you finishthem quickly. On the contrary, you may have to solve a number of formidabledifficulties you leave at the end of exam, for you have spent more time on easyproblems. So the faster you work, the better result is.很好的段末总结
The last but not the least, working fastcan help one have more preparation for the next challenge. 这观点挺好For those who waituntil the good idea comes out, they may ease into a workday in a fuzzy slipperwith drowsy sunshine很形象的描述 but they will be extremely stressful and painstaking ifanother assignment comes out（加soon）. Under the heavy pressure to work double assignmentsimultaneously, it is tough to accomplish any of them successfully. Bycontrast, if one has completed the former assignment, he does not to be worryabout the time to accomplish the next mission. And he can prepare his nextmission sufficiently so that it is not a difficult thing to get a good result.
All in all, from the reasons listed above,we can safely conclude that starting working on it right away is better thanwaiting until I have a good idea about it when I am assigned to finish writingabout an important presentation in a month.
作者: perfectends 时间: 2013-2-5 23:27
格式改不好了，干脆这里另起一楼写点评：
备注：红色--修改；黄色--赞；蓝色--建议
语法和用词没有大的问题，只是论述稍微长了点，你是限时写的吗？能打完那么多？
另外，同义替换做的大多较好，但是有两个地方你的代词是完全一样的，native speaker最讨厌重复了，所以相隔那么近，一定要替换掉。
再就是，有一个用法我拿捏不好，在文章里提出了疑问。。。求交流。。。
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-2-7 11:33
keepthings in perspective. 这个说法有伐？固定搭配？你确定我就确定哈
这个我是无老师巨细堂抄的。
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-2-7 11:35
按照invaluable,逻辑不对了 invaluable无价的意思啊。。。不对吗？
作者: perfectends 时间: 2013-2-7 12:49
按照invaluable,逻辑不对了 invaluable无价的意思啊。。。不对吗？-- by 会员 tsyxyss (2013/2/7 11:35:11)
我看你2.5的文章里也出现了：As a result, teenagers abandon those goodmanners and convert their invaluable time to chase utilitarian profits.
啊呀，我记错了，invaluable= exteremly valuable. sorry
作者: perfectends 时间: 2013-2-7 12:51
标题: 批2.5
还是老样子： 红色--错误；黄色--赞；蓝色--建议
Currently, there is a solid body of opinionthat nowadays students do not respect their teachers as much as in the past. Ifit is true—which I take leave to argue—then it is the older people and theenvironment that create it, not the young themselves.
To begin with, the changing educationalenvironment is a crucial factor that has a enormous influence on our youth.First, let us look back a little bit. Those past generations of educators paymore attention on the social manner andeven the religious ritual. They believe the eligible manner is much moreimportant than the learning process itself. In addition, teachers wererespected to great extent at that age. At present, in this ever-changing world,the utilitarian purpose is embraced so much that sometimes our adolescentsignore the significance of the respect to teachers.No Few(no的话有点过于绝对了吧） educators nowadays teachstudents why and how to respect our parents and our teachers. What they educateis the pragmatic things, especially how to get a satisfying grade for the sakeof a better job in the future. As a result, teenagers abandon those goodmanners and convert their invaluable time to chase utilitarian profits.
Aside from the change of educationalenvironment, our new generation of youths seems to be busier than the pastgenerations. Our youths may be too busy to notice the detailsmanners to show therespectto ourteachers. （用details的话感觉有点中式思维的句子）Although more sophisticated seems the technology, living in thisfast-changing world is not easy and comfortable at all. As the world changesfast, our youths have to move fast in order to catch up with the majority.Older people is forever picturing our youths easing into a day in a fuzzyslipper with the drowsy sunshine but the thing is that our adolescents have tolearn a second language in order to apply for a university and have to read anumber of academic books for the sake of 上文出现一次了，变化下a better academic performance. So ouradolescents may neglect the thing to express our respect to our teachers.
Last but not the least, there is not a rational criterion to value a person in modern world, which is merely dependedon the financial level of a person. As we all know, teachers in the age often do not have a high financial level. Therefore, students may look down on our teachers.三个论点的话，这个论证也太短了，不丰满，文章结构不对称
In brief, I agree that nowadays students donot respect their teachers as much as in the past. And I believe that the reasons that lead to the result are the educational environment, the busy schedule of our youths, and the dubious criterion to evaluate a person. 这种句子结尾很干练
总结：没有什么大的错误，但是感觉文字可以更洗练。第三个论点论证太少了，如果想不到那么多其实没必要非要强求三个论点。
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-2-8 20:57
8 February
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement
Some people think that movies and TV programs that made in their owncountry are more interesting than that made in other countries.
Modern attitudes towards exotic movies and television programs range frominfinitely impressed to extremely disgusted. As always, there is a solid bodyof opinion that domestic movies and television programs are more meaningful andinteresting than others. On the other hand, some people may argue that exoticmovies and television programs are more sophisticated and attractive. I, giventhe chance, prefer to endorse that movies and television programs made in othercountry are more interesting than that made in own country.
To begin with, the sophisticated techniques that perform in exotic moviesand television programs is a crucial factor that attracts a number of people,especially our youths. I have to acknowledge that the technology used in mediain our country is left far away from other countries. A lot of advanced techniques,such as four dimension and dynamic color effects, are employed in a large scalein the exotic movies and television programs. In addition, many movies andtelevision programs shown nowadays in our country are meaningless and lack oftechniques, since many of them are on screen for the sake of utilitarianpurposes.
Furthermore, there is no doubt to claim that movies and televisionprograms in other countries can bring exotic cultures and events to our people,which can be more attractive. There is no better example than Forrest Gump,which depicts several decades’ life of Forrest Gump, a naive and slow-wittedyet athletically prodigious native of Alabama who witness some of the definingevents of the latter half of the 20th century in the United States. By watchingthis movie, I become familiar with this period of history and I learn someculture in America.
Last but not the least, I believe we can practice our foreign language bywatching movies and television programs, which can offer us some interest.Without doubt, one can learn a language well in a particular languageenvironment, which the exotic movies and television programs can provide to us.For instance, The Big Bong Theory, one of the popular comedies among ouryouths, give an opportunity to learn the native language and practice one'sspoken English. What a interesting thing you can learn your second language bywatching the television.
All in all, from the perspectives listed above, more sophisticatedtechniques, a chance to learn exotic culture and events, and an opportunity topractice foreign languages, we can safely conclude that exotic movies andtelevision programs are more interesting than that in one's own country.
Integrated Writing:
TPO16
The lecturer argues that all the problems the science of archaeology faces in England can be solved by the new guidelinespublished in 1990. The argument is in marked contrast with the passage that thearchaeology was faced with tough difficulties and limitation in Britain.
First, the lecturer claims that archaeological experts will exam the placebefore the construction ruins those invaluable artifacts in the new rule. Thatmeans examinations have to be made before the construction in order to assurewhether it is an archaeological interest. If it is, they will make preservationplans. They will construct beside the place or evacuate the artifacts. So theprofessor disproves its counterpart successfully.
Moreover, the professor debuts the passage by the point in the newguideline that the entire fee will be paid by the construction company. Inother words, Companies have to pay the money of the initial examination and thefee of preservation plans. This is not in agreement with the passage.
Finally, the speaker contends that a lot of jobs can be provided inarchaeology in the new guideline. Because they need experts in archaeology toexam the site value, make the preservation plan, and write reports. Inaddition, the speaker proves the point by mentioning that there are the most positionsavailable for archaeologists. Therefore, it rebuts the passage that the unemploymentrate will increase in archaeology.
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-2-22 20:18
22 February [Today]
IndependentWriting:
Which way do you think is the best for astudent to make new friends？
a. joining asports team, b. participate in community activities,c. Traveling
Perhaps, no issue in this world is assignificant to people’s life as friends. Despite various responses, people mayhave the question that which way is the best for students to make new friends.I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that traveling is the best one.
To begin with, teenagers can meet anumber of people from a wide range of places during a trip. The peoplesurrounding you on the trip can be Asian, American, African, etc. Teenagers canexperience a totally different culture and enjoy the fantastic talking with allsorts of people under this circumstance. There must be some people having thesame interest with you because of the tremendous number of people on the trip.So traveling can be the best way for students to make friends.
Furthermore, I have to claim thattraveling is such a excellent way for students to relax themselves that theycan jump from the mundane and stressful study work to find friends they trulylike. In this utilitarian world, even students find friends who can help themimprove their study and do well to their future. Thus, sadly to say, theirfriends hardly make them feel happy but make them more nervous, since they onlyregard their friends as competitors. However, everyone is traveling in order torelax. So, students do not need to worry about those mundane things but seekfor friends they truly like. Therefore, traveling is the best way to seek new friendsin my opinion.
Last but not the least, students can havea good experience with their friends during the trip, which will leave apositive mood in their mind. Statistically speaking, more than half of peoplewill feel less depressive after a outdoor trip. They will remember the first cockcrow,the twittering of birds at dawn, the sight of the rising sun glinting on thetrees and pastures. Students and their friends can enjoy their shortly peacefullife during the trip in this fast-changing world, which will have a good effectmentally.
All in all, from the reasons listed abovethat students can seek friends from a wider range of people, they can jump fromstressful world to find soul friends, and the trip can leave the students apositive mind, I personally suggest that traveling is the best way for studentsto make new friends.
作者: sunchou 时间: 2013-2-22 22:55
2.20独立修改
红色建议，蓝底好
Perhaps, no issue in this world is assignificant to people’s life as friends. Despite various responses, people mayhave the question that which way is the best for students to make new friends.I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that traveling is the best one.
To begin with, teenagers can meet anumber of people from a wide range of places during a trip. The peoplesurrounding you on the trip can be Asian, American, African, etc. Teenagers canexperience a totally different culture and enjoy the fantastic talking with allsorts of people under this circumstance. There must be some people having thesame interest with you because of the tremendous number of people on the trip.So traveling can be the best way for students to make friends.
Furthermore, I have to claim thattraveling is such a excellent way for students to relax themselves that theycan jump from the mundane and stressful study work to find friends they trulylike. In this utilitarian world, even students find friends who can help themimprove their study and do well to their future. Thus, sadly to say, theirfriends hardly make them feel happy but make them more nervous, since they onlyregard their friends as competitors. However, everyone is traveling in order torelax. So, students do not need to worry about those mundane things but seekfor friends they truly like. Therefore, traveling is the best way to seek new friendsin my opinion.
Last but not the least, students can havea good experience with their friends during the trip, which will leave apositive mood in their mind. Statistically speaking, more than half of peoplewill feel less depressive after a outdoor trip. They will remember the first cockcrow,the twittering of birds at dawn, the sight of the rising sun glinting on thetrees and pastures. Students and their friends can enjoy their shortly peacefullife during the trip in this fast-changing world, which will have a good effectmentally.
All in all, from the reasons listed abovethat students can seek friends from a wider range of people, they can jump fromstressful world to find soul（soul做形容词吗） friends, and the trip can leave the students apositive mind, I personally suggest that traveling is the best way for studentsto make new friends.
总结：
一个字，赞。作者的思路十分清晰，而且行文相当流畅。反正我读起来很自然，很舒服，我要好好向你学习。而且你在第三段的环境描写也相当优美动人。赞
只有一点点点建议，就是词汇再丰富些（尽管我觉得已经很丰富了）
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-3-24 21:19
标题: 3月24日 独立
Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement?
It is importantfor government to protect wild animals and wilderness areas for futuregeneration.
Nowadays, there are a burgeoning number of people concerning about the environmental problem of the protection of wild animals and wilderness areas for future generations. As always, there is a solid body of opinion that the protection of wild animals and their habitats will no doubt have a negative influence on the level of economy of a country. On the other hand, some people may debate that if our humans do not protect wild animals and their habitats, the environment deterioration will ruin our economy and our life. I, given the chance, preferto endorse that it is important for government to protect wild animals and wilderness areas for future generation.
To begin with, one of the demerits caused by the ignorance of the protection our wild creatures and their living space is that the desertification, much more flooding and other climate deterioration wreak havoc in our earth. Statically speaking, eighteen percent of the territory in Chain has become desert, most of which is prairie previously. The reason why such a wide range of place became desert is the over grazing and the over hunting of wild animals, especially the wolf in the prairie which is the primary predator of the sheep and cattle. The less the number of wolf is, the greater amount of grassland will be destroyed, since the nomadic like other people in this modern world only focus on the economic and utilitarian purposes neglecting the safety of the environment. What is worse, the government often has to spend a large sum of money managing environment problems every year. So it is significant for government to protectour animals and their habitats.
Moreover, another detrimental point of neglecting the protection wild species and their living area is that our scientists will lose enormous study resources, as agrowing number of species of flora and fauna come into extinction. As we all know, many species now living in the planet is very ancient animals or plants, which may maintain for billions of years. All of those species, which often arevulnerable, are extremely valuable sources for the academic study in certain fields, like the botany and zoology. Thus, if our humans do not pay attention to protecting them, they must come into extinction for a few hundred years.Therefore, our government cannot abandon the idea to protect our wild animals and the wilderness places.
Admittedly, agovernment cannot throw the economic and technology goal as the world kicksinto high gear. Nevertheless, a rational and reasonable criterion to value a good government should not abandon the vital thing to protect our environment but include along with other indispensible factors, such as the level of the economy and the improvement of the infrastructure.
All in all, from the reasons listed above, we can safely conclude that it is important for government to protect wild animals and wilderness areas for future generation.
作者: xeyyxzty 时间: 2013-3-27 22:07
Nowadays,there are a burgeoning number of people concerning about the environmental problem of the protection of（个人感觉有点问题哈~environmental去掉可能会好一些） wild animals and wilderness areas for future generations. As always,there is a solid body of opinion that the protection of wild animals and theirhabitats will no doubt have a negative influence on the level of economy of acountry. On the other hand, some people may debate that if our humans do notprotect wild animals and their habitats, the environment deterioration willruin our economy and our life. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that itis important for government to protect wild animals and wilderness areas forfuture generation.
Tobegin with, one of the demerits caused by the ignorance of the protection ourwild creatures and their living space is that the desertification, much moreflooding and other climate deterioration（这是什么意思呢~extreme weather比较好吧~personally哈） wreak havoc in our earth. Statically speaking, eighteen percent ofthe territory in Chain has become desert, most of which isàwas prairie previously. The reason why such a wide rangeof place became desert is the over grazing and the over hunting of wildanimals, especially the wolf in the prairie which is the primary predator ofthe sheep and cattle. The less the number of wolf is, the greater amount ofgrassland will be destroyed, since the nomadic,like other people in this modern world, onlyfocus on the economic and utilitarian purposes,neglecting the safetyàprotection of the environment. What is worse, the government often has to spend a largesum of money managing environment problems every year.（不是很明白这句话的作用哈，是说为了保护环境而花了很多钱？可是貌似和论点没什么联系吧…而且和后面的也不是很配合哈） So itis significant for government to protect our animals and their habitats.
Moreover,another detrimental point of neglecting the protection wild species and theirliving area is that our scientists will lose enormousstudy resources, as agrowing number of species of flora and fauna comeinto extinction. As we all know, many species now livingin the planet isàare very ancient animals or plants, which may maintainàhave survived for billions of years. All ofthose species, which often are vulnerable, are extremely valuable sources forthe academic study in certain fields, like the botany and zoology. Thus, if ourhumans do not pay attention to protecting them, theymustàprobably will come into extinction foràin a few hundred years. Therefore, our government cannotabandon the idea to protectàof protecting our wild animals and thewilderness places.
Admittedly,a government cannot throw the economic and technology goal as the worldkicksinto high gear. Nevertheless, a rational and reasonable criterion to valuea good government should not abandon the vital thing to protect our environmentbut include along with other indispensible factors, such as the level of theeconomy and the improvement of the infrastructure.
All inall, from the reasons listed above, we can safely conclude that it is importantfor government to protect wild animals and wilderness areas for futuregeneration.
不好意思回复的实在有些晚~
连词，副词什么的很多很好~向同学学习
同学的长句子让小女子非常敬佩~但是...但是...还是长短句结合比较好吧，比较有节奏感哈
还有就是感觉论点不是很由说服力哈~你的主要论点是环境问题、科研价值是吧~可是貌似第一个中你的重点放在了前期的破坏上，个人认为应该说一下破坏后的严重后果比较好，然后才能突出protection的重要性哈~第二个感觉说的有点狭窄哈，不一定是活化石之类的古董才有价值，biodiversity什么的，基因啦，随便编一下还是可以的~
好吧，熊熊说的比较多，同学挑你觉得合适的听就好~其他的觉得不对的话无视就好~
P.S. 那个貌似很法语的a带一个音节是-->哈，格式混乱了~不改了，对给你带来的麻烦表示抱歉
还有不要鄙视我啊~我的作文还没有写呢...明天吧，如果有时间麻烦你帮我看一下，当然也可以再次无视我...拖了这么久都不好意思了
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-3-28 08:24
xeyyxzty 发表于 2013-3-27 22:07 
Nowadays,there are a burgeoning number of people concerning about the environmental problem of the p ...
你说的很中肯啊，非常感谢啊。。。。
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-3-31 11:41
31 March 「today」
Independent Writing：
Some people think that governments should spend as much money as possible on developing or buying computer technology. Other people disagree and think that this money should be spent on more basic needs. Which one do you agree with？
In this information age, there is a burgeoning number of people concerning about the problem whether our government should spend more budget on the development of computer technology. As always, there is solid body of opinion that our government should pay more attention on fundamental things, especially our infrastructure and education development. On the other hand, some people may argue computer the chnology is so significant in this ever-changing world to have a vital effect on a wide range of field. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that our government should focus on more basic needs.
To begin with, governments' top priority should always be satisfing the basic needs of all of people. Currently, there are still a number of people struggling in poverty. For those people who lack of basic living necessities, what the most urgent thing is to solve the subsistence problem. Since most of people in our country are still extremely poor, they will hardly enjoy the benefit from the development of computer technology, which is the privilege of wealthy people. Our government should not settle for a country where a shrinking number of people do really well, while a growing number of people hardly get by, but build a society where everyone get a fair shot and everyone does the fair share.
Aside from the subsistence problem, another crucial point is that ecological environment deterioration wreaks havoc on our country, posing a threat to all species including humankind. For example, desertification, statically speaking, has already affect eithteen percent territory in China, leading to the consequence that framers have no place to plant and ranchers have no place to graze. No doubt this is a restrict factor of the social and economic development in a country. Therefore, our government should spend more budget on the environmental preservation.
Last but not the least, all countries ought to provide adequate financial resources to assure the next generation having a better education. There is no issue as significant to a country's prosperity as the youth, since the young man has a glorious future before him but the old one only has splendid feats behind him. At present, if there is no investment from our government, enormous children cannot have an opportunity to go to the high school, even the elementary school. Thus, it is vital for our government to ensure that everyone can persue and fulfill his educational goal by the means of increasing the educational investment.
All in all, from the reason listed above, we can safely conclude that more money should be spent on more basic needs by governments.
作者: scartter 时间: 2013-4-1 21:57
首先先给楼主道歉，回的比较晚因为今天一天课。sorry.。。。
31 March 「today」Independent Writing：Some people think that governments should spend as much money as possible on developing or buying computer technology. Other people disagree and think that this money should be spent on more basic needs. Which one do you agree with？In this information age, there is a burgeoning number of people concerning about the problem whether our government should spend more budget on the development of computer technology. As always, there is solid body of opinion that our government should pay more attention on fundamental things, especially our infrastructure and education development. On the other hand, some people may argue computer the chnology is so significant in this ever-changing world to have a vital effect on a wide range of field. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that our government should focus on more basic needs.To begin with, governments' top priority should always be satisfing the basic needs of all of people. Currently, there are still a number of people struggling in poverty. For those people who lack of basic living necessities, what the most urgent thing is to solve the subsistence problem. Since most of people in our country are still extremely poor, （这一句感觉和上一句的的主体一样，所以再加上显得有点重复，如果直接连上下面的观点会感觉不累赘。可以用一个连接词连起来）they will hardly enjoy the benefit from the development of computer technology, which is the privilege of wealthy people. Our government should not settle for a country where a shrinking number of people do really well, while a growing number of people hardly get by, but build a society where everyone get a fair shot and everyone does the fair share.Aside from the subsistence problem, another crucial point is that ecological environment deterioration wreaks havoc on our country, posing a threat to all species including humankind. For example, desertification, statically speaking, has already affect eithteen percent territory in China, leading to the consequence that framers have no place to plant and ranchers have no place to graze. No doubt this is a restrict factor of the social and economic development in a country. Therefore, our government should spend more budget on the environmental preservation.Last but not the least, all countries ought to provide adequate financial resources to assure the next generation having a better education. There is no issue as significant to a country's prosperity as the youth, since the young man has a glorious future before him but the old one only has splendid feats behind him（since之后这一句有点不太懂，since 之后如果是上一句的原因的话since是不是该放在前面？）。 At present, if there is no investment from our government, enormous children cannot have an opportunity to go to the high school, even the elementary school. Thus, it is vital for our government to ensure that everyone can persue and fulfill his educational goal by the means of increasing the educational investment.All in all, from the reason listed above, we can safely conclude that more money should be spent on more basic needs by governments. （结尾相对于较长的开头显得有点仓促。）
哇哇哇，我觉得楼主写得好好，观点很鲜明，文章结构也很好，句型和词汇也很多变，所以我也没什么可以改的，改的不对的地方希望楼主体谅一下~~~学习了很多，楼主能留个qq号给我吗，我想有问题请教一下你，可以吗？谢谢啦~~~~
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-4-4 16:21
scartter 发表于 2013-4-1 21:57
首先先给楼主道歉，回的比较晚因为今天一天课。sorry.。。。
1468116642....回的太晚了，我英语也很垃圾的说
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-4-5 11:23
5 April「Today」
IndependentWriting：
Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement:
The public neednot to pay for public transport.
In this age, thereare a burgeoning number of citizens concerning the problem whether the publicshould pay for public transport. As always, there is a solid body of opinionthat our public transport fee should be free to reduce our citizens' pressure.On the other hand, some people may argue that it is our responsibility to payfor public transport. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that the publicshould pay for public transport.
To begin with, ademerit of no public transport fee is that most of employees working in publictransport will no longer have passion to work hard, since they will get thesame amount of money no matter how much energy they contribute to the work.Just like in the equalitarian society, everyone gets the equal payment regardlessof his or her feats. Consequently, the economy in such a society maintains aconstantly low level. And the level of the economy in transportation will notbe very high, too. In addition, less enthusiasm will lead to a growing numberof accidents, because drivers may pay more attention to listening to radio orreading newspapers instead of driving. Therefore, the mortality maysignificantly increase due to the free ride.
Moreover, anotherdetrimental factor no public transport fee will causes is that more and moredwellers in a city will choose to take bus or subway, leading to a more crowded environment in busand a higher rate of theft in public transport. There is no better example toillustrate this point than mine. In 2008, the government introduced the policyto reduce the public transport fee in Beijing, causing that it used to be astruggling experience to go to school in crowded bus every day. And morethieves will have opportunities to steal others' belongings in such a crowded environment.So the rate of theft in public transport must increase dramatically.
Last but not theleast, the policy that citizens will not pay for public transport at all willmake other industries shrink. Without paying for anything for the publictransport, enormous people will not drive cars but take the bus or subway towherever they want to go. Automobile industry, a high productive industry, mayalso shrink for the reason of fewer citizens willing to buy cars, which areextremely expensive.
All in all, fromthe reason listed above, we can clearly see that the policy that people do notneed to pay for the public transport may cause catastrophe risks in a widerange of fields. Therefore, the public needs to pay for public transport.
作者: viviyl 时间: 2013-4-6 12:37
Inthis age, there are a burgeoningnumber of citizens concerning the problem whether the public should pay forpublic transport. As always, there is a solid body of opinion that our publictransport fee should be free to reduce our citizens' pressure. On the otherhand, some people may argue that it is our responsibility to pay for publictransport. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that the public should payfor public transport.
To begin with, a demerit of no public transport fee is that most of employeesworking in public transport will no longer have passion to work hard, sincethey will get the same amount of money no matter how much energy theycontribute to the work. Just like in the equalitarian society, everyone getsthe equal payment regardless of his or her feats. Consequently, the economy insuch a society maintains a constantly low level. And the level of the economyin transportation will not be very high, too. In addition, less enthusiasm willlead to a growing number of accidents, because drivers may pay more attentionto listening to radio or reading newspapers instead of driving. Therefore, themortality may significantly increase due to the free ride. (我觉得那些服务于公共交通行业人的工资好像不像销售一样多劳多得有提成神马的，毕竟是公共服务业，政府出钱。我觉得说人们不为打车买单就会使得政府收入变少，从而工资变少这样打击员工积极性更好~)
Moreover, another detrimentalfactor no public transport fee will causes(cause)is that more and more dwellers in a city will choose to take bus orsubway, leading to a more crowded environment in bus and a higherrate of theft in public transport. There is no better example to illustratethis point than mine. In 2008, the government introduced the policy to reducethe public transport fee in Beijing, causing that it used to be a strugglingexperience to go to school in crowded bus every day. And more thieves will haveopportunities to steal others' belongings in such a crowded environment. So therate of theft in public transport must increase dramatically. (小偷这个论据太间接了，个人意见哈~)
Last but not the least, the policy that citizens will not pay for publictransport at all will make other industries shrink. Without paying for anything for the publictransport, enormous people will not drive cars but take the bus or subway to whereverthey want to go. Automobile industry, a high productive industry, may alsoshrink for the reason of fewer citizens willing to buy cars, which are extremelyexpensive.
All in all, from the reason listed above, we can clearly see that the policythat people do not need to pay for the public transport may cause catastrophe(catastrophic) risks in a wide range of fields.Therefore, the public needs to pay for public transport.
行文流畅~语法用词都挺不错的~加强一下论证~
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-5-1 11:49
The parents spend too much time ondetermining future things of children. children can make choices by their own. 5,1 独立
Nowadays, there are a burgeoning number ofpeople concerning about the family education problem whether our parents spendtoo much time on determining future things of children. As always, there is asolid body of opinion that parents should determine future things of children,since they can hardly tell the right or not. On the contrary, some criticizethat our children lose the liberty to choose their own life due to theirparents' determination. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that our parentsshould not restrain children's liberty to determine their own future things.
To begin with, one obstacle over controlour children's own future things may lead to is that our children may lose allkinds of cherished hobbies, causing them, especially our teenagers inadolescence, becoming indifferent and bored with everything. Most parentscompel our children to give up their hobbies and convert all of their energy totheir study for the sake of utilitarian purpose, because currently individualcan hardly find a job without excellent performance and an awesome diploma inthis competitive society. Unfortunately, their determination destructs theirchildren's hobbies, which may give them a new life outside their study, relaxthemselves and refresh their mind after a day's hard work. Those interests caninspire our children's mind and moderately stimulate their passion to study,which can prompt our children's study in return.
Aside from ruined hobbies, psychologicalproblems become another significantly detrimental factor because of too muchdetermination of our children's future things. Parents' deprivation ofchildren's privilege to choose their future career and their interest may makethem upset and depress their motivation to study while what our children can dois forever listening parents' cliché introduction. Under such circumstances,most children become more and more unsociable and eccentric. Gradually, theyget mental disease and become indifferent with everything. What is worse, somemay suicide to express their protestation that children should have their ownfreedom.
Last but not the least, extraordinary workcan only be finished under the circumstance that one is keen on the job or thework. In most situations, our children who are determined by their parents canhardly have excellent performance, because the job their parents chose is whatthey hate most. Without enthusiasm, how can one have an exceptional work in thefuture? To some extent, the parents' determination may stifle our genius whocan have a splendid achievement in the future.
All in all, from the reason listed above,we can safely conclude that the parents should not spend too much time ondetermining future things of children.
作者: SMS 时间: 2013-5-4 20:39
tsyxyss 发表于 2013-5-1 11:49
The parents spend too much time ondetermining future things of children. children can make choices b ...
The parents spend too much time ondetermining future things of children. children can make choices by their own. 5,1 独立
Nowadays, there are a burgeoning number of people concerning about the family education problem whether our parents spend too much time on determining future things of children. As always, there is a solid body of opinion that parents should determine future things of children, since they can hardly tell the right or not. On the contrary, some criticize that our children lose the liberty to choose their own life due to their parents' determination. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that our parents should not restrain children's liberty to determine their own future things.
To begin with, one obstacle over control (overcontroling) our children's own future things may lead to is that our children may lose all kinds of cherished hobbies, causing them, especially our teenagers in adolescence, becoming indifferent and bored with everything. Most parents compel our children to give up their hobbies and convert all of their energy to their study for the sake of utilitarian purpose, because currently individuall (individual) can hardly find a job without excellent performance and an awesome diploma in this competitive society. Unfortunately, their determination destructs their children's hobbies, which may give them a new life outside their study, relax themselves and refresh their mind after a day's hard work. Those interests can inspire our children's mind and moderately stimulate their passion to study, which can prompt our children's study in return(这个是不是interests太远了？).
Aside from ruined hobbies, psychological problems become another significantly detrimental factor because of too much determination of our children's future things. Parents' deprivation of children's privilege to choose their future career and their interest may make them upset and depress their motivation to study while what our children can do is forever listening parents' cliché introduction. Under such circumstances, most children become more and more unsociable and eccentric. Gradually, they get mental disease and become indifferent with everything. What is worse, some may suicide to express their protestation that children should have their own freedom.
Last but not the least, extraordinary work can only be finished under the circumstance that one is keen on the job or the work. In most situations, our children who are determined by their parents can hardly have excellent performance, because the job their parents chose is what they hate most. Without enthusiasm, how can one have an exceptional work in the future? To some extent, the parents' determination may stifle our genius who can have a splendid achievement in the future.
All in all, from the reason listed above, we can safely conclude that the parents should not spend too much time on determining future things of children.
1. 用词很丰富
2. 语言流畅
3. 结构很清楚
我只看出几个小问题，或者有一个还不是什么问题。
请教楼主怎么练习作文的？要背诵很多文章和句子马？
我大概和楼主同时期加入小分队的，但是好像您坚持的很好，我后来觉得自己太差，打着积累单词的名义好长时间没练习作文了，现在回来，楼主还在，可我好像进步也不大。真心请教您是怎么联系作文的？
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-5-6 15:47
SMS 发表于 2013-5-4 20:39
The parents spend too much time ondetermining future things of children. children can make choices ...
其实，我作文也好差的，一战才21分。我只能说多练习吧……可以去无老师巨细堂看看，好好品味下TPO阅读，那些都很经典的。
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-5-12 11:26
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The rules that the whole society today expect young people to followare too strict.5,12
Currently, people are forever talking aboutthe problem of youth. The world is full of the criticism of adolescentegocentrism, students' addiction of internet games, the decorated pendants on teenagers’neck, etc. However, I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that those are notour youth's fault. It is our society that expects young people too much.
To begin with, I argue that our societyshould not restrict young people's liberty. They have their own choices.Actually, what they desire is a little more free time to relax, since they aretoo tired in this stressful and mundane world, not like our parents thoughtthey are always easy. We are now living in an age without previous humanexperience that could be refer to. Living in such a fast-changing would not becomfortable and easy at all; as everything keep changing, our youth have tomove fast in order to catch up with the majority. Our youth no longer have astable and care free life like the previous generations but have to learn asecond language for the sake of a handsome salary, or read a lot in order toget informed. Our youth is just looking forward to a free day to relax theirstressful body. Unfortunately, what they get after a few minutes of relaxationis strict criticism and interminably cliché instruction. Can they have a freeday jumping outside the monotonous and stressful life?
Aside from the restriction of youngpeople's liberty, our society should not confine our teenagers to expressthemselves and to make them stand out. When I was a teenager, I was young anduncertain——that I was new boy in high school, and I would have been verypleased to be regard as something so interesting as a problem. I was eager towear strange clothes and a number of pendants, which was unallowed in our highschool at that time, in order to attract others' eyeballs. For one thing, beinga problem gives you identity, and that is one of the things the young arebusily engaged in seeking.
I find young people exciting. They have anair of freedom, and they have not a dreary commitment to mean ambitions or loveof comfort. They are not anxious social climbers, and they have no devotion tomaterial things. All this seems to me to link them with life, and the originsof things. It is as if they were, insome sense, cosmic things in violent and lovely contrast with our suburbancreatures. What I am eager to claim is that why our society has to set a lot ofrule to make our innocent teenagers become those dreary elders? I believe thatour youth will be better just like twittering birds in the forest, if the worlddo not have those complicated rules to restrain them.
Our teenagers may be ill-mannered andunscrupulous, but I do not turn for protection to dreary clichés about respectfor elders and their rules as the reason listed above. The rules that the wholesociety today expect young people to follow are too strict.
作者: anafkn 时间: 2013-5-13 13:28
tsyxyss 发表于 2013-5-12 11:26
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The rules that the whole society ...
Independent Writing修改from anafkn：
第一次在CD里混，打扰了。如有问题，求赐教。
谢谢
又及:高亮表赞，蓝色建议，红色修改（不过回复好像经常把格式消掉了啊~~~）
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The rules that the whole society today expect young people to follow are too strict.
Currently, people are forever talking about the problem ofyouth. The world is full of the criticism of adolescent egocentrism, students'addiction of internet games, the decorated pendants on teenagers’ neck, etc.However, I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that those are not our(we “不是我们年轻人的错”,人称并列，不过看后面好像都是用our"我们的年轻人"，大概也可以的吧), youth's fault. It is our society that expects young people too much.
To begin with, I argue(其实我是第一次看见I后面跟argue……think, 或者insist？) that our society should not restrict young people's liberty. Theyhave their own choices. Actually, what they desire is a little more free timeto relax, since they are too tired in this stressful and mundane（世俗的，平凡的？似乎跟stressful不太搭，） world, not like our parents thought they arealways easy（contradictory to what our parents conceive）.We are now living in an age without previous human experience that could be refer to. Living in such a fast-changing (world) would not be comfortable and easy at all; aseverything keep(keeps) changing, our youth haveto move fast in order to catch up withthe majority. Our youth no longer have a stable and carefree life like the previous generations but have to learn a secondlanguage for the sake of a handsome salary or read a lot in order to get informed（get informed?被通知？哎……木有看懂）. Our youth is just looking forwardto a free day to relax their stressful body. Unfortunately, what they get aftera few minutes of relaxation is the strictcriticisms and interminably cliché instruction. Can they have a free dayjumping outside the monotonous and stressful life?
Aside from the restriction of young people's liberty, our society should notconfine our teenagers to expressing（confine sth to sth） themselvesand to make(making) them stand out. When I was ateenager, I was young and uncertain——that I was a new boy in high school (木有看懂), and I would have been(would have been 表虚拟语气，所以是“我本应当很高兴能像问题一样被视为有趣”？) very pleased to beregarded as something so interesting as aproblem. I was eager to wear strange clothes and a number of pendants, which was unallowed(not allowed/banned) in our high schoolat that time, in order(虽然总是删啊删，很不好意思，但是……不觉得很罗嗦吗)to attract others' eyeballs. For one thing, being aproblem gives you identity, and that is one of the things（that is exactly what） theyoung are busily engaged in(“从事于”建议删去) seeking.
I find young people exciting. They have an air of freedom, and they have not（do not have） a dreary commitment to（they never lose the commitment to） meanambitions or love of comfort. They are not anxious social climbers, and theyhave no devotion to material things(material wants怎么样，物质需求). All this seems tome to link them with life, and the origins ofthings（我真的……木有看懂）. It is as if they were, in some sense, cosmic things in violent and lovely contrastwith our suburban creatures（懂，不明觉厉）. What I am eager toclaim is that why our society has to set a lot of rulesto make our innocent teenagers become those dreary elders? I believe that ouryouth will be better just like twittering birds in the forest, if the world does not have those complicated rules to restrain them.
Our teenagers may be ill-mannered and unscrupulous (一查字典：“木有节操的” *^◎^*), but I do not turn for protection to dreary clichés about respect forelders and their rules as the reason listed above. The rules that the whole societytoday expect young people to follow are too strict.
字数膜拜
有很多句子的意思很美，非常美，句式或者写法换一换就是高亮
总论点：rules too strict；分论点：1. rules限制了young liberty;2. confine expressing(但是例子赶脚小奇怪)；3. young is better to live freely.逻辑觉得不是很强。
打扰了，谢谢
作者: perfectends 时间: 2013-5-14 09:01
anafkn 发表于 2013-5-13 13:28
Independent Writing修改from anafkn：
第一次在CD里混，打扰了。如有问题，求赐教。
谢谢
兄弟颜色咋整的？
作者: anafkn 时间: 2013-5-14 09:23
perfectends 发表于 2013-5-14 09:01
兄弟颜色咋整的？
回复的框的右上角有一个“高级模式”，用里面的各种小标记可以像word一样加颜色和高亮哦~~~~~^0^V
作者: perfectends 时间: 2013-5-14 09:32
anafkn 发表于 2013-5-14 09:23
回复的框的右上角有一个“高级模式”，用里面的各种小标记可以像word一样加颜色和高亮哦~~~~~^0^V ...
谢谢！唉，昨儿占座占晚了，没赶上分组~
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-5-19 15:38
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People who have developed many different kinds of skills are moresuccessful than people who focus on only one skill. 5.19
Nowadays, in this information explosionage, there are a burgeoning number of people concerning about whether peopleshould develop many skills or focus on one skill in order to achieve success.As always, there is a solid body of opinion that one has such a short life thatone cannot perform well in every part. On the other hand, some may argue theage need more tales who have skills in a wide range of fields. I, given thechance, prefer to endorse that those who have developed many skills are moresuccessful in this age.
To begin with, high-standards companieshave a tendency to select people who have different skills. Currently, nothingis impossible to turn back the tide of globalization, not only do we have moreand more multinational corporations but also our domesticated companies have tocommunicate more frequently with foreign companies in order to get updatedtechnology. Employers are desired to get tales who are good at both their majorknowledge and foreign language. Unfortunately, that is still not enough. Inthis information explosion time, everything keeps changing so fast that ouremployees will not be recruited if he know nothing about the computer— the mostimportant and convenient medium to learn the world. High-standards companiesalso want talents who have good representation skill, the creative ability, thegood handwriting, etc. Anyway, the more skills one has, the more chance onewill be recruited.
Moreover, to satisfy the division of laborin society. as an employee, one has more choices when applying for a job. Inour country, our graduate students are facing a problem to find a job. Ourcompanies are always disappointed about our graduate students who cannotsatisfy their standard, while our students are forever complaining their salaryis too low. One way to cope with the problem is to develop more skills. If youhave adequate skills, as a employee, you can always find a satisfying job inthe talent market. I mean, one can has more choices if he masters many skills.There must be some place suiting for him and he definitely will satisfy one ofcompanies.
Last but not the least, the more skillsoften represents the better learning ability. We are now undergoing an age ofrevolution without any previous human experience that we can refer to. In thisever-changing world, people need to keep learning in order to catch up with themajority. And the more skills often mean one has better learning capability.They have better ways to learn something efficiently, know how to save their invaluabletime, have better comprehension ability. There is no doubt that those abilitiescan help one become successful.
All in all, from the reason listed above,we can safely conclude that people who have developed many different kinds ofskills are more successful than people who focus on only one skill.
作者: minnowbunny 时间: 2013-5-20 09:45
Hello~队长让我们5.19独立互改呀~你写的已经那么好了，我简单改改贴在下面喽~有空记得帮我看看，但不要见笑……
作者: minnowbunny 时间: 2013-5-20 10:07
Nowadays, in this information explosionage, there are a burgeoning number of people concerning about whether peopleshould develop many skills or focus on one skill in order to achieve success.As always, there is a solid body of opinion that one has such a short life thatone cannot perform well in every part. On the other hand, some may argue theage need more tales（talents?） who have skills in a wide range of fields. I, given thechance, prefer to endorse that those who have developed many skills are moresuccessful in this age.（第一段先阐明双方观点再陈述自己的，很有条理值得学习~）
To begin with, high-standards companieshave a tendency to select people who have different skills. Currently, nothingis impossible to turn back the tide of globalization(仔细读来好像意思模糊了呢，Nothing is possible to ... ?), not only do we have moreand more multinational corporations but also our domesticated companies have tocommunicate more frequently with foreign companies in order to get updatedtechnology. Employers are desired to get tales who are good at both their majorknowledge and foreign language. Unfortunately, that is still not enough. Inthis information explosion time, everything keeps changing so fast that ouremployees will not be recruited if he know(knows/knew) nothing about the(觉得可以去掉) computer— the mostimportant and convenient medium to learn the world. High-standards companiesalso want talents who have good representation skill, the creative ability, thegood handwriting, etc. Anyway, the more skills one has, the more chance onewill be recruited.
Moreover, to satisfy the division of laborin society. as an employee, one has more choices when applying for a job. Inour country（用自己国家来举例很生动，值得学习~）, our graduate students are facing a problem to find a job. Ourcompanies are always disappointed about our graduate students who cannotsatisfy their standard, while our students are forever complaining their salaryis too low. One way to cope with the problem is to develop more skills. If youhave adequate skills, as a employee, you can always find a satisfying job inthe talent market. I mean, one can has （have）more choices if he masters(多样化的动词用得好~) many skills.There must be some place suiting for him（suit him?） and he definitely will satisfy one of (these)companies.
Last but not the least, the more skillsoften represents the better learning ability. We are now undergoing an age ofrevolution without any previous human experience that we can refer to. In thisever-changing world, people need to keep learning in order to catch up with themajority. And the more skills often mean one has better learning capability(这句和前句是否有点重复了？).They have better ways to learn something efficiently, know how to save their invaluabletime, have better comprehension ability. There is no doubt that those abilitiescan help one become successful.
All in all, from the reason listed above,we can safely conclude that people who have developed many different kinds ofskills are more successful than people who focus on only one skill.
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-5-26 15:51
5,26 独立
As always, a number of people are currentlydiscussing about the question whether we can learn a person from the books andmovies he likes. Different people may hold contrary attitudes. I, given thechance, prefer to endorse that one can learn a person from his favorite booksand movies.
To begin with, I argue that the books andmovies one likes can reflect the philosophy to some extent. Whether readingbooks or watching movies is not only a way to relax ourselves but also anopportunity to express our philosophy. For example, as we all know, Daodejing,which influence Chinese traditional culture for centuries, is one of the mostfamous works made by Laozi, who pursued the liberty for his whole life andargued that one should live in accordance with its natural tendency in order tohave a happy life. If one is keen on the Daodejing, he must be a person busilyengaged in seeking happiness and looking forward to freedom.
Moreover, I insist that the books andmovies one fancies now can reflect the mental state one is experiencing— theanger, the depression, the excitement or the sadness. We are now undergoing anage of revolution without any previous experience that we can refer to. Thereare a adequate number of books and movies emerging in our market that ourconsumers can have more options and choose the book or movie can reflect theirmood. One is often more likely to watch exciting movies when the person hasdone something successful, like a successful presentation. On the other hand,one is inclined to watch some depressed movies while the person is undergoingupset difficulties. We can always learn people's recently mental state throughlearn the books or movies they like now.
Last but not the least, we can learn whatthey are looking forward to and what they need in their true life from thebooks and movies they like. Plenty of knowledge can be found in books so thatpeople are forever referring to books when they meet some formidable trouble ontheir way to the destination they want. People who are chasing the financial benefitswill intend to like to read some practical books, which include the way to savetheir cost and enlarge social circle. Girls who are eager to have a romanticrelationship with a handsome boy may like to read some love novels.
All in all, from the reason listed above,we can conclude that we can learn about a person from the books and the moviesthat the person likes.
作者: sherlock1992 时间: 2013-5-27 16:30
tsyxyss 发表于 2013-5-26 15:51
5,26 独立
As always, a number of people are currentlydiscussing about the question whether we can le ...
As always, a number of people are currentlydiscussing about the question whether we can learn a person from the books andmovies he likes. Different people may hold contrary attitudes. I, given thechance, prefer to endorse that one can learn a person from his favorite booksand movies.
To begin with, I argue that the books andmovies one likes can reflect the philosophy to some extent. Whether readingbooks or watching movies is not only a way to relax ourselves but also anopportunity to express our philosophy. For example, as we all know, Daodejing,which influence Chinese traditional culture for centuries, is one of the mostfamous works made by Laozi, who pursued the liberty for his whole life andargued that one should live in accordance with its natural tendency in order tohave a happy life. If one is keen on the Daodejing, he must be a person busilyengaged in seeking happiness and looking forward to freedom.
Moreover, I insist that the books andmovies one fancies(这里用fancy不太合适） now can reflect the mental state one is experiencing— theanger, the depression, the excitement or the sadness. We are now undergoing anage of revolution without any previous experience that we can refer to. Thereare a adequate number of books and movies emerging in our market that ourconsumers can have more options and choose(choosing) the book or movie can reflect theirmood. One is often more likely to watch exciting movies when the person hasdone something successful, like a successful presentation. On the other hand,one is inclined to watch some depressed movies while the person is undergoingupset difficulties. We can always learn people's recently mental state throughlearn(learning） the books or movies they like now. (这一段理由感觉有点牵强）
Last， but not the least, we can learn whatthey are looking forward to and what they need in their true life from thebooks and movies they like. Plenty of knowledge can be found in books so thatpeople are forever referring to books when they meet some formidable trouble ontheir way to the destination they want. People who are chasing the financial benefit(financial benefit在这里用的不太恰当）swill intend to like to read some practical books, which include the way to savetheir cost and enlarge social circles. Girls who are eager to have a romanticrelationship with a handsome boy may like to read some love novels.(最好在结尾总结一下段落中心）
All in all, from the reason listed above,we can conclude that we can learn about a person from the books and the moviesthat the person likes.
词汇用的稍显简单，每段结尾要有总结，加油！
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-6-2 11:13
2 June「Today」
Independent Writing：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
學校或工作Presentation 你習慣一個月前就開始準備或有idea 後才晚一點開始進行
Nowadays, with the technology becoming more and more sophisticated, the tempo of our life quickens to great extent. Regarding the problem listed above, as always, there is a solid body of opinion that we should start working on it righ taway, since we have to move fast in order to catch up the majority in this fast-changing world. On the other hand, some may argue that it is essential to wait until you have a good idea about it for the sake of the good quality. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that I would work on it right away.
To begin with, working fast can leave me more sufficient time to do other meaningful things, which can refresh my mind and equip my mind with knowledge. In this modern world, everyone is always working for the sake of utilitarian purposes. But it is vital to get a life outside your work you are bored with, preventing you biding your time in your stressful and mundane work forever. If I finish my assignment in advance, I can spend my time on all sorts of books, which will be able to not only broaden my knowledge level but also leave a positive mind to view everything. It is the book that reminds me tragedy is not always removed far from comedy, then I never get a lop-sided view of the thing. After reading those books, I find it becomes easier to tolerate the monotonous work and the reading helps me keep things in perspective.
Aside from sufficient time one can save from the fast work, a faster pace can also lead to a better result. Good result comes from one's great effort paying on them. Actually, no one is willing to think about the presentation if he/ she decides to do nothing but wait for a good idea. What they often do is to convert their invaluable time to relax. In the end, if they still cannot come up a good idea, what should they do? Undoubtedly, those who wait until they have a good idea often cannot get a satisfied consequence. Just like examinations, you can have extra time to review and reconsider if you finish them quickly. On the contrary, you may have to solve a number of formidable difficulties you leave at the end of exam, for you have spent more time on easy problems. So the faster you work, the better result is.
The last but not the least, working fast can help one have more preparation for the next challenge. Currently, there is an undesirable trend towards the worship of self-indulge. Those who do nothing but wait until the good idea comes out may ease into a work day in a pair of fuzzy slippers with drowsy sunshine but they will be extremely stressful and painstaking if another assignment comes out soon. Under the heavy pressure to work double assignment simultaneously, it is tough to accomplish any of them successfully. By contrast, if one has completed the former assignment, he does not to be worry about no time to accomplish the next mission. And he can prepare his next mission sufficiently so that it is not a difficult thing to get a good result.
All in all, from the reasons listed above,we can safely conclude that starting working on it right away is better thanwaiting until I have a good idea about it when I am assigned to finish writing about an important presentation in a month.
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-7-8 15:40
标题: 7月8日
Independent Writing
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Young people today are less independent on their parents than in the past.
The youth is a forever problem in this modern world. Nowadays, there are a burgeoning number of people concerning about the issue that young people become less independent than the past. As always, there is a solid body of opinion that the youth is always engaged in seeking freedom and there is no one more desiring the independent life than a teenager. On the other hand, some people may criticize that the young today, who have a dreary commitment of love of comfort, rely everything on their parents. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that young people today are less independent on their parents than in the past.
First of all, currently most of the youth do not know how to lead a normal life if they do not have their parents. More than half of the high school students in cities cannot wash the clothes by themselves. The majority of the college students do not know how to cook a meal. For instance, in my dormitory, every semester one of my roommates spends fifty Yuan for several hundred of cheap socks in order not to wash them. He wears a pair of socks for a few days then when they become smelly, he will just throw them away, never washes them. Another roommate, a timid boy, cannot sleep without his parents' company. As a result, he have to go back home instead of staying at home after a day's hard work for the sake of a better sleep. Therefore, most of the youth lack of the ability to take care of themselves and lead a normal life without parents.
Moreover, the new generation of young people are so egocentric and self-closing that they hardly make any friends with others. What they can depend on are always their parents every time they confront any difficulties. With the electronic industry becoming more and more sophisticated, everyone nowadays can have at least a cell phone, an Ipad, and a laptop. They no longer make friends even though friends are vital for the past generations of people since they always need someone company then to play. Nowadays' teenagers consume more spare time on electronic devices to play games. When they meet any tough difficulties, the only people they can seek help are their parents.
The reason why young people become more dependent on their parents is that the society is totally different now. The current society is even more complex. The parents are afraid of their kids to plunge into the dangerous society by themselves. Parents love their children more than the past generations of parents since the government published the policy that it is allowed to raise only one child for each family. Parents love their children so much that they even spoil their children. Consequently, it becomes a fact that young people today are less independent on their parents than in the past.
After ruminating those above-mentioned reasons, I am fully convinced that young people today are less independent on their parents than in the past.
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-7-14 11:43
七月14综合
The lecturer claims that salvage logginghas severe long-term effects. This claim is not in agreement with that of thereading passage, which suggests that salvaging logging is beneficial to us.
First, the lecturer debuts the reading's opinionthat carrying the dead trees away from the forest will leave adequate space forthe future generations. She believes that leaving the trees decomposing in theforest can enrich the soil, leading to a healthy generation of trees whilecarrying away those dead trees can make the soil less nutritious. Clearly, theprofessor's argument disproves its counterpart in the passage.
Moreover, the professor argues thatdecaying woods can offer habitats not only to harmful insects but also to otherbirds or insects that are beneficial to the forest. Then, he adds the fact thatthose harmful insects actually have no severe damages to the forest and thesuitable habitats provided by the decaying woods for birds and insects can havelong-term benefits for the forest. The point of view is in direct contradictionwith the claim in the reading passage.
Finally, the speaker refutes the passage's ideathat salvage logging can have economic beneficial. She proves that this claimis indefensible by pointing out that the decaying woods can only used for alimited range of things, such as the helicopter. In addition, she emphasizesthat the provided job positions are temporary. Also, employers would like to recruitexperts rather than local residents. This is in marked contrast to theassertion in the reading passage.
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-7-14 15:28
7,14 Independent Writing：
Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement?
Two people can become good friends even ifone of them has much more money than the other.
Currently, there are a burgeoning number ofpeople concerning about the question whether two people can become friends evenif one is much richer than the other. As always, there is a solid opinion thatfriends can only be the same social class. Richer people are always lookingdown upon root grasses. On the other hand, some may debate that there is noboundary between friends whether you are the noble or the grass root level. I,given the chance, prefer to endorse that two people can become good friends eventhough one is very rich.
First of all, the bond between friends isnot based on the same social class or the similar financial ability but thetrust between them. If one is very well-off while the other is stuck in poverty,that does not mean there is no possibility that one can become the other'schum. I think the most important thing between friends is nothing but thetrust. Compared to those fair-weather friends who have a lot of money, theopulent one often tend to find a person who is much more sincere and frank evenif he may be a bit poor and superficial. Developing a friendship is a mutualprocess, especially needing the mutual trust. I believe the loyal friend isalways the best one.
Moreover, the same hobby and interest canbreak the constriction between the different economic strengths. People whohave more economic strengths are more likely to have detachment problem. Theyare more desired to find a truly good friend than anyone else. If you share thesame hobby or interest with them, you can always be friends with them. Thereason why most people who are not rich do not like to make friends with therich men is that they are so self-conscious that they are afraid of whethertheir clothes, their weight or even their teeth can match with others.Actually, those are not problems. For example, my family was not very opulentwhen I was young. As I was a high school student, I met a boy who had the samehobby with me, playing table tennis. His family had opulent assets and he woremuch more expensive clothes than mine. However, that did not matter. He stillbecame my buddy, since we had the same hobby.
Last but not the least, if one has a numberof money, it can offer them a lot more chance to do much more joyful things.For example, a friend of mine is very rich. Whenever he has free time, he willcall his friends including me to go somewhere interesting to have a party. Hewill rent a big car and take camps. Then he will take us to the beach or amysterious and isolated area to have a big party. We will sing and dance. Wemay light a fire and barbeque. I cannot imagine how can we have such anexciting party if we do not have such a friend who has a lot of money.
After ruminating those threeabove-mentioned reasons, I am fully convinced that two people can become goodfriends even if one of them has much more money than the other.
作者: Whoolwhop 时间: 2013-7-15 10:53
7,14 Independent Writing：
Do you agree or disagree with thefollowingstatement?
Two people can become good friends evenifone of them has much more money than the other.
Currently, there are a burgeoning number of people concerning about thequestion whether two people can become friends even if one is much richer thanthe other. As always, there is a solid opinion that friends can only be thesame social class. Richer people are always looking down upon root grasses. Onthe other hand, some may debate that there is no boundary between friendswhether you are the noble or the grass root level. I, given the chance, preferto endorse that two people can become good friends even though one is veryrich. 牛开头！
First of all, the bond between friends is notbased on the same social class or the similar financial ability but the trustbetween them. If one is very well-off while the other is stuck in poverty, thatdoes not mean there is no possibility that one can become the other's chum. Ithink the most important thing between friends is nothing but the 不要trust. Compared （Comparing） to thosefair-weather friends who have a lot of money, the opulent one often tends to find a person who is much more sincere and frankeven if he may be a bit poor and superficial. Developing a friendship is amutual process, especially needing the mutual trust. I believe the loyal friendis always the best one.
Moreover, the same（此ｓｉｍｉｌａｒ）hobby and interest can break the constriction between the different economicstrengths. People who have more economic strengths are more likely to havedetachment problem. They are more desired to find a truly good friend thananyone else. （有点罗嗦）If you sharethe same hobby or interest with them, you can always be friends with them. Thereason why most people who are not rich do not like to make friends with the rich men isthat they are so self-conscious that they are afraid of whether theirclothes, their weight or even their teeth can match with others. Actually,those are not problems. For example, my family was not very opulent when I wasyoung. (When) As不要 I was ahigh school student, I met a boy who had the same hobby with me, playing tabletennis. His family had opulent assets and he wore much more expensive clothesthan mine. （He always wore much more expensive clothes thanmine which included Nike, Kaplan, and etc. Later, we found out that his familyhad a rich background, however, it didn’t stop us from becoming buddies!）However,that did not matter. He still became my buddy, since we had the same hobby.
Last but not the least, if one has a numberof money, it can offer them (who? Not clear) alot more chance to do much more joyful things. For example, a friend of mine isvery rich. Whenever he has free time, he will call his friends including me togo somewhere interesting to have a party. He will rent a big car and takecamps. Then he will take us to the beach or a mysterious and isolated area tohave a big party. We will sing and dance. We may light a fire and barbeque. Icannot imagine how can we (we may) have such an exciting (excellent) party if(without)we do not have such a friend who has a lot of money. (I can hardly imagine how we may afford such an excellentparty without this particular rich friends?)
After ruminating those three above-mentioned 不要了，否则句子有点不通。。。reasons,I am fully convinced that two people can become good friends even if one ofthem has much more money than the other.
改了不少小错误，以后打字时请注意哦。。。
我个人觉得，你写的文笔很好，可是没有很多例子来证明论点。。。
请你看一下吧
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-7-15 16:04
Whoolwhop 发表于 2013-7-15 10:53
7,14 Independent Writing：
Do you agree or disagree with thefollowingstatement?
Two people can becom ...
谢谢啦。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-7-15 16:06
7,15 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Parents should allow their childrean to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.
Currently, there is a burgeoning number of people concerning about whether parents should allow their kids to make mistakes and let them learn from their own faults. As aways, there is a solid body of opinion that a child growing under laissez-faire parents is more likely to face numerous promblems as an adult. On the other hand, some may argue that the mistake is like the best teacher who can teach everything one need to know. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that parents should not allow their children to make mistakes, since there are mistakes you cannot remedy.
Human biology is ill-suited for the modern world. Nowadays, junk food wreaks havoc around the world. It is cheap and delicious; fims spend billions advertising it. People, especially our adolescent, cling to go to those fast restraunts. As a result, we consume more calories than we spend. It turns out that in America more than two thirds of people is over weight or obese. And the developing countries are catching up. For instance, thirty percent of Chinese adults is too wide. It poses a grave challenge to the health system. The effect of eating junk food is long-term, which one cannot easily notice it right away. It can lead to the increasing risk of cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, liver diseases, and even some cancers. However, our teenagers, who are more likely to eat those fast food, cannot realize it is a kind of chronic suicide if their parents just let them go.
Aside from the threaten of junk food to our youth, can't our parents just let their children indulge themselves in watching those pornographic pictures and movies prevailing in the internet until they have severe healthy problems? Since the end of the last century, we have entered the information era. With the technology becoming more and more sophisticated, our computers have become more efficient and our web sites have been made more gorgeous. However, our laws cannot catch up with the development of the science. All kinds of unhealthy things, especially the pornographic movies and pictures, are put on the internet for the sake of utilitarian purposes without any restrictions. Under such a circumstance, if parents do not restraint their kids' actions, a lot of teenagers will induldge themselves in the internet and lost themselves, causing detachment problems, school refusal, and even severe physical diseases.
Admittedly, the mistake is the best teacher for our teenagers. Learning from the mistakes is better than larning from any one else. But let's get down to the foundamental and agree that there are no parents that do not love their children. If you were a parent of a kid, can you just indifferently see your kid go astray and be stuck in the miserable dilemma?
All in all, from the reasons listed above, we can safely conclude that parents should not allow their children to make mistakes. |
作者: huajiali 时间: 2013-7-16 16:45
红色表示错误；黄色表示精彩；蓝色表示建议
7,15 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Parents should allow their childrean to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.
Currently, there is a burgeoning number of people concerning about whether parents should allow their kids to make mistakes and let them learn from their own faults. As aways, there is a solid body of opinion that a child growing under (感觉这个under怪怪的）laissez-faire parents is more likely to face numerous promblems as an adult. On the other hand, some may argue that the mistake is like the best teacher who can teach everything one need to know. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that parents should not allow their children to make mistakes, since there are mistakes you cannot remedy.
(建议在这段开头讲下吃快餐与孩子犯错的关系，感觉跟题目联系没有很紧密）Human biology is ill-suited for the modern world. Nowadays, junk food wreaks havoc around the world. It is cheap and delicious; fims spend billions advertising it. People, especially our adolescent, cling to go to those fast restraunts. As a result, we consume more calories than we spend. It turns out that in America more than two thirds of people is（are） over weight or obese. And the developing countries are catching up. For instance, thirty percent of Chinese adults is too wide（？）. It poses a grave challenge to the health system. The effect of eating junk food is long-term, which one cannot easily notice it right away. It can lead to the increasing risk of cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, liver diseases, and even some cancers. However, our teenagers, who are more likely to eat those fast food, cannot realize it is a kind of chronic suicide if their parents just let them go.
Aside from the threaten of junk food to our youth, can't our parents just let their children indulge themselves in watching those pornographic pictures and movies prevailing in the internet until they have severe healthy problems? Since the end of the last century, we have entered the information era. With the technology becoming more and more sophisticated, our computers have become more efficient and our web sites have been made more gorgeous. However, our laws cannot catch up with the development of the science. All kinds of unhealthy things, especially the pornographic movies and pictures, are put on the internet for the （删去the）sake of utilitarian purposes without any restrictions. Under such a circumstance, if parents do not restraint their kids' actions, a lot of teenagers will induldge themselves in the internet and lost themselves, causing detachment problems, school refusal, and even severe physical diseases.
Admittedly, the mistake is the best teacher for our teenagers. Learning from the mistakes is better than larning from any one else. But let's get down to the foundamental and agree that there are no parents that do not love their children. If you were a parent of a kid, can you just indifferently see your kid go astray and be stuck in the miserable dilemma?
All in all, from the reasons listed above, we can safely conclude that parents should not allow their children to make mistakes.
总评：1.楼主的开头观点非常清楚，而且用词很丰富，赞一个，值得学习！
2.二三连段论证时最好将例子与犯错更加清楚地联系一下。感觉是在说孩子的两个问题，跟犯错联系不是非常紧密。
3.楼主好像也帮我改过作文的，希望共同进步哦。有空也可以再来给我多提些建议。
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-7-16 21:48
huajiali 发表于 2013-7-16 16:45
红色表示错误；黄色表示精彩；蓝色表示建议
7,15 独立
谢啦。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-7-17 11:07
7,17 Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement?
Some people prefer to work for only threedays a week with long hours.Other prefer to work for five days a week withshorter hours.Which way do you think is more enjoyable and why?
Nowadays, there are a burgeoning number ofpeople concerning about the problem about the working time management. Asalways, there is a solid body of opinion that people should have a conventionaland regular workings schedule to work five days with shorter hours. On the otherhand, many young people prefer to work for three days with long hours in orderto get extra time to relax. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that weshould work for five days as previous days.
To begin with, having a regular workingschedule to work five days can help people develop effective time managementtechniques, which is essential for us to feel more peace and gain control ofthe life. When one has a regular life style, he or she will have to put timemanagement techniques into practice, preventing us from tossed in everydirection by life storm. If your life is one of chaos, it will bring you asense of order in your life. It will support you and keep your life on track.While others crumble and crack under the challenges they face, you can sailthrough them with flying colors. In a word, a regular working schedule can helpyou build a complete system for self-management, something that will do themonitoring and remembering for you, so your mind is freed up.
Moreover, working for five days withshorter time can give you an opportunity to have a better performance on yourwork. There is no denying that everyone has a certain amount of energy; if youforce yourself to overwork for a long time, it will lead to a bad performanceon your work and some severe consequences about your health, such as insomnia,cardiovascular diseases, and high blood pressure. However, you can have enoughenergy to finish the given task every day if you decide to work for five days.Under this circumstance, you will not feel tough to finish the assignment andyou can do a better job, since adequate time to relax every day can moderatelyadjust your physical and mental condition. Therefore, people working for fivedays with shorter time can perform better.
Last but not the least; it can have somedetrimental problems to work for three days with longer time. In fact,employers will not be likely to recruit people who are willing to work forthree days and give as much money as the people who are more willing to workfor five days. The company can only ask employees to work for a certain amountof time, since it is illegal to force employers to overwork even though somepeople want to work for a longer time. So, actually, people who desire to workfor three days are more likely to work less time. Let's get to the foundationand agree that a company is established for the sake of economic andutilitarian purposes. All of the employers will try their best to make you workfor the longest time that is legal. If you are reluctant to work for five days,employers will deem you as dawdlers and you will face the higher risk ofunemployment.
All in all, from the reasons listed above,we can safely conclude that working for five days with shorter time is betterthan working for three days with longer time.
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-7-17 14:58
综合 TPO16
The lecturer argues that a new guidelineimproves the condition of the archeology in the United Kingdom. The claim isnot in agreement with that of the reading passage, which suggests that the archeologyfaced with serious problems and limitations in Britain.
First, the lecturer believes thatconstruction projects will not ruin the valuable artifacts. This is because thenew guideline shows that archeological experts need to exam the place to makesure there are no valuable artifacts in that place before any construction. Andif there is any artifact, the builders, governments and archeologists need to gatherin order to find a reasonable way to protect them. Clearly, the professor'sargument disproves its counterpart in the reading.
Moreover, the professor thinks thatarcheologists can get financial supports from company rather than governmentaccording to the new guideline. Then she supports the point of view with thefact that any archeologists who exam the place whether has valuable artifactsor not can get payment from the construction company. This point of view is inmarked contrast to the assertion in the reading passage.
Finally, regarding the unemploymentproblem, the speaker contends that the new guideline can provide more jobpositions for archeologist. She proves this indefensible by pointing outthat the new guide line can give theposition for archeologists to exam the building site, provide preservationmethods, and write article to process date. This is in direct contradictionwith the claim in the reading passage.
作者: molt 时间: 2013-7-18 17:43
tsyxyss 发表于 2013-7-17 11:07
7,17 Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement?Some people prefer to work for only threed ...
学习啊。相当convincing！
作者: Whoolwhop 时间: 2013-7-18 19:24
7,17 Do you agree or disagree with thefollowingstatement?
Some people prefer to work for only threedays a week withlong hours.Other prefer to work for five days a week withshorter hours.Whichway do you think is more enjoyable and why?
Nowadays, (there are)不要 a burgeoning number of people areconcerning about the problem不要 about the working time management （我觉得这样更通顺）.As always, there is a solid body of opinion that people should have aconventional and regular workings schedule to work five days with shorterhours. On the other hand, many young people prefer to work for不要 three days with longhours in order to get extra time to relax. I, given the chance, prefer toendorse that we should work for five days as previous days.
To begin with, having a regular working schedule（ to 不要work five days） can help people develop effective time management techniques, whichis essential for us to feel more peace and gain control of （the 不要） our life. When one has aregular life style, he or she will have to put time management techniques intopractice, preventing usfrom tossed in every direction by life storm好啊！. If your life is one of 不知道怎么改？有点不通顺chaos, itwill instead， bring you a sense of order in your life不要. It willsupport you and keep your life on track. While others crumble and crack underthe challenges they face, you can sail through them with flying colors.好啊In a word, a regular working schedule can help you build a complete system forself-management, something that will do the monitoringand remembering for you, so your mind is freed up有点问题. In other words, a regular working schedule may bond youwith a self-monitor, self-examination, and even high-efficiency (承上启下) system!
Moreover, working for不要 five dayswith shorter time can give you an opportunity to have a better performance onyour work. There is no denying that everyone has a certain amount of energy; ifyou force yourself to overwork for a long time, it will lead to a badperformance on your work and some severe consequences about your health, suchas insomnia, cardiovascular（别拼错哦！） diseases, and high blood pressure. However, you can have enough energy to finish the given task every day if you decide to work forfive days. Under this circumstance, you will not feeltough to finish the assignment and youcan do （accomplish 更好） a better job, since adequate time to relax every day can moderately adjust your physical and mental condition. Therefore, people workingfor five days with shorter time can perform better.
Last but not the least; it can have some detrimental problems to work for three days with longertime. In fact, employerswill not be likely to recruit people who are willing to work for three days andgive as much money as the people who are more willing to work for five days.The company can only ask employees to work for a certain amount of time, sinceit is illegal to force employers to overwork even though some people want towork for a longer time. So, actually, people who desire to work for three daysare more likely to work less time. Let's get to the foundation and agree that a company is established forthe sake of economic and utilitarian purposes.写的好，但我觉得有一点点不通顺（Let’s consider fromthe simplest point, a company is formed for the sake of economic and utilitarianpurposes.） All of the employers will try theirbest to make you work for the longest time that is legal. If you are reluctant to work forfive days, employers will deem you as dawdlers and you will face the higherrisk of unemployment. 提一下law，好像围绕着这个主题，就是没点出来。。。
All in all, from the reasons listed above, we can safelyconclude that working for five days with shorter time is better than workingfor three days with longer time.
楼主空格少了一点。。。加油！
作者: Whoolwhop 时间: 2013-7-18 19:30
额，颜色好像都显示不出来，附件负不上去。。。
作者: tsyxyss 时间: 2013-7-19 16:34
TPO17
The lecturer claims that human populationincrease and agricultural activities will not do harm to the birds. The claimis not in agreement with the reading passage.
First, the lecturer argues that the thingthat the urban area continues to expand will provide even more habitats forsome species. This is because some places can be suitable for some birds, suchas pigeons and hawks, after this place becomes urban area. That means somespecies population may shrink and others' may increase. Clearly, this claimdisproves its counterpart in the reading passage that the expanding of urbanarea will make all birds’ number decrease.
Moreover, the professor believes that thegrowth of agriculture actually lead to the less land use. Then the professorsupports his point with the fact that farmers can use less land to produce morefood with the development of the more productive crops. In other word, birdscan have more habitats than ever. This is in directly contrasted to theassertion of the reading passage that the growth of agriculture will cause fewerhabitats for birds.
Finally, the speaker contends that farmersbegin to use the new type of ways to do against pests in order to reduce theharm to the environment. The first change is that they start to use less toxicpesticides, which can have little effect on birds. The second change is thatthey use the pest resistant crops, which is toxic to bugs but not to birds. So,this debuts the opinion in the reading passage that the growth of agricultureand human population means we will use more toxic pesticides, which do harm tobirds.
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