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标题: wsxz007 作业贴 作文啊作文 你跟我和好吧……求你了 1.27求拍砖 [打印本页]
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-5 16:52
标题: wsxz007 作业贴 作文啊作文 你跟我和好吧……求你了 1.27求拍砖
wsxz007 1月4号的综合

The reading passage is discusses the issue of whether or not the dinosaurs are the endotherms. The professor's lecture deal with the same topic.Even so she argue that the dinosaurs are not endotherms, which contradict what the reading passage states. In the reading there are three specific points to support it's idea.
The first one, although the passage asserts that the fossil was found in the polar area, where is so cold that only endotherms can exist. At the same time the professor claims that the region where the fossils be found is much warmer than today and habitat can be changed during the cold months. Clearly, the professor disagree the first point in the massage.
Moreover, even though the statement in the reading argue that leg position is the characteristic of the endotherms, because of the sustained physical activity, the professor contends that the position of the legs in order to supports more weight. Obviously, the professor's argument challenges the states in the passage.
finally, both of them refer to the Haversian canals.The professor maintains that although there are Haversian canals in the dinosaurs, the same time there are also grow rings in body of them.During cold period, the grow rings thicken show that the vegetation slowly or stopped. Whereas the author of the passage claims that the Haversian canals is the feature of the endotherms.
In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses of the reading passage and forcefully proves the central argument in the passage of that dinosaurs are endotherms is inaccurate.
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-5 21:04
1月4号独立  批啊 批啊 求暴批
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:It is better to relax by watching a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise

Recent years, the social competition become more and more fierce. Under the circumstances, the social life makes people more nervous than ever before. Various of entertainments are needed by every corner in the city. However the traditional ones are always popular. Some ones argue that it is better to relax by watching a movie or reding a book than physical exercise. In my opinion, relaxing in silence is the best way for me.
First, now days daily life is more and more quick than ever before. Doing as more as we can in shorter time. In order to enhance the competitiveness, the whole city race against time. Reading and watching something slowly after all day work is a best chance to relax our body and brain with no competition but enjoying. Just like wine-tasting, drink the wine as slowly as we can, and least the bouquet full of the mouth.    
Second, grinding a chopper will not hold up the work of cutting firewood. More preparation may quicken the speed in doing work. Reading  makes people think. In the books, people can find the answer to everything which puzzle you in daily life. Further more, the movies alway tell something which is the most typical in modern society and history. After the past of the teacher, history and other’s experience is the best sample to take example by.
Finally, during reading and watching something which have nothing to do with the pressure from daily life or work people can liberation the brain, and enjoy something fresh. Every time came into a corner in work, I would go to enjoy a movie in the cinema by myself, and forget all the stuff but the movie. After that, a clear head can give me something new to deal with the puzzle.
For the reasons above, although doing physical exercise is a good way to relax the body, but the better efficiency is the goal of entertainment. In leisure time, reading books and watch movies is better the sports.
作者: micky帽子    时间: 2013-1-6 08:24
Recent years, the social competition become more and more fierce. Under the circumstances, the social life makes people more nervous than ever before. Various of entertainments are needed by every corner in the city. However the traditional ones(which one is traditional?) are always popular. Some ones argue that it is better to relax by watching a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise. In my opinion, relaxing in silence is the best way for me.First, now days (nowadays?)daily （the pace of）life is more and more quick than ever before. Doing (Trying to accomplish ?其实差不多)as more(much) as we can in shorter time. In order to enhance the competitiveness, the whole city race against time. Reading and watching something slowly after all day work is a best chance to relax our body and brain with no competition but enjoying.(移到第一句观点鲜明一点？不然人家不容易找到你的论点) Just like wine-tasting, drink the wine as slowly as we can, and least the bouquet full of the mouth. （我理解你的意思，但是这句话主语不对吧？Drinking the wine ……）  Second, grinding a chopper will not hold up the work of cutting firewood. More preparation may quicken the speed in （of）doing work. Reading makes people think. （觉得换一种表达方式更好？Reading inspires thinking.好像也不是很好）In the books, people can find the answer to everything which puzzled you in daily life. Further more, the movies always tell something which is the most typical(phenomena, typical是形容词哈，原句也对，但是我感觉有点奇怪)  both in modern society and history. After the past of the teacher, history and other’s experience is the best sample to taken example by.(前面啥意思？)Finally, during reading and （or）watching something which have (has)nothing to do with the pressure from daily life or work, people can liberation (liberate,后面加动词吧)the brain, and enjoy something fresh. Every time came into a （the）corner in work, I would go to enjoy a movie in the cinema by myself, and forget all the stuff but the movie. After that, a clear head can give me something new to deal with the puzzle.For the reasons above, although doing physical exercise is a good way to relax the body, but the better efficiency is the goal of entertainment. In leisure time, reading books and watch movies is better than the sports.

337个字哦~如果在半个小时内完成的还可以哦~但是最好还是码到400字吧~
有些词组错哦~你觉得不确定可以去google搜一下，如果搜到的结果很多肯定没有问题。
总体写的还行哦~我们都要努力丫~争取做到行云流水。
作者: micky帽子    时间: 2013-1-6 09:21
Recent years, the social competition becomes more and more fierce. Under the circumstances, the social life makes people feel more nervous than ever before. Various of entertainments are needed by every corner in the city. However the traditional ones(which one is traditional?) are always popular. Some ones argue that it is better to relax by watching a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise. In my opinion, relaxing in silence is the best way for me.First, now days (nowadays?)daily （the pace of）life is more and more quick than ever before. Doing (Trying to accomplish ?其实差不多)as more(much) as we can in shorter time. In order to enhance the competitiveness, the whole city race against time.Reading and watching something slowly after all day work is a best chance to relax our body and brain with no competition but enjoying.(移到第一句观点鲜明一点？不然人家不容易找到你的论点) Just like wine-tasting, drink the wine as slowly as we can, and least the bouquet full of the mouth. （我理解你的意思，但是这句话主语不对吧？Drinking the wine ……） Second, grinding a chopper will not hold up the work of cutting firewood. More preparation may quicken the speed in （of）doing work.Reading makes people think. （觉得换一种表达方式更好？Reading inspires thinking.好像也不是很好）In the books, people can find the answer to everything which puzzles you in daily life. Further more, the movies always tell something which is the most typical(phenomena, typical是形容词哈，原句也对，但是我感觉有点奇怪) both in modern society and history. After the past of the teacher, history and other’s experience is the best sample to taken example by.(前面啥意思？)Finally, during reading and （or）watching something which have (has)nothing to do with the pressure from daily life or work, people can liberation (liberate,后面加动词吧)the brain, and enjoy something fresh. Every time came into a （the）corner in work, I would go to enjoy a movie in the cinema by myself, and forget all the stuff but the movie. After that, a clear head can give me something new to deal with the puzzle in your daily life.
For the reasons above, although doing physical exercise is a good way to relax the body, but the better efficiency is the goal of entertainment.(这两个之间啥关系？) In leisure time, reading books and watching movies is better (than) the sports.

337个字哦~如果在半个小时内完成的还可以哦~但是最好还是码到400字吧
是在文本上写的吗？所以会有些语法小错误哦。我也经常这样
我俩都要好好努力丫。做到行云流水
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-6 17:24
1月5号 综合 TPO5
The professor actually contradicts the statements made in the passage. He is of the view that non of the arguments about what  Chaco great houses were used for is convincing.

First, although the space of the largest house is big enough for 100 families to live in. However the professor points that the fire place in the house is the size fit for only ten families, which obviously disprove its counterpart in the reading passage.

Second, the author of the passage point out that the condition of the house can be used for store food, whereas the professor asserts that there are no maize or containers in the house , which are considered the principal food for Chaco. He claims that abundance of food and large containers should be found in the  house if it is a storage space, which weak the point of the passage.
Finally, despite reading passage give the evidence about the pots, which is asserted to be used in ceremonies. At the same time, the professor argue that besides the pots, there are also materials couldn’ t be used in the ceremonies, such as sand, stone and building tools which is used to build the house. In other words the pots in the house is only the construction trash the same as other stuff, which can’t prove the houses are used for ceremony.
In conclusion, the professor apparently identify the weakness of the passage.
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-6 19:37
1月5号 独立
Agree or disagree, in order to succeed, you should be more like the others than be different from everyone else


Life is challenging. In order to be successful we should prepare ourselves in many fronts. Although to be different from others could make sure one person stand out of the crowd quickly at the beginning, compare to the beginning, a durable success is more important to our lives. In my opinion in order to succeed , person should be more like others than different from everyone else. My view is basis on campus, social life and family.

When we were in campus, the first thing to study is imitation. Following the teachers do everything, such as writing, speaking, performing even though making friends, in other words, the principle of succeed is like others. All ones know that, a successful student must be good at imitation. For instance, When I was a student in my 12 years old, I always wanted to write something different, and didn’t like the article style given by the writing books. But not until my words is similar as the others in my class my score is not good, and my article is not understand by others.  

From a social perspective, we live in an interdependent world which imposes its obligations on us. Each person belong to different social group and plays important roles. In order to be a popular person in the daily life, we should enjoy the same topic with others. Further more, a good interpersonal relationship can offer various of convenient which is an advantage in the further enterprise. As a result of to be more like others, there not only a successful career but also a good social relationship.

Family is another important part in the daily life, and the harmonious of the family is a half of success. Members in the same house share joys and sorrows of others all the time. So it is better to have the same hobby with the others in a family.

Well, the creation and selfhood is also important in one’s pursuing for success. Sometime, basing on the resemblance the different is a new competition in the modern society.
In conclusion, in order to succeed, we should be more like others than different or strange. Success prefer the ordinary.
作者: bet    时间: 2013-1-6 22:57
改  wsxz007 1月4号的综合

The reading passage is（多余） discusses the issue of whether or not the（多余） dinosaurs are（were,注意时态） the（多余） endotherms. The professor's lecture deal with the same topic.Even so(什么意思？) she argue（argues） that the dinosaurs are not endotherms, which contradict（加S） what the reading passage states. In the reading there are three specific points to support it's idea.
The first one, although the passage asserts that the fossil was found in the polar area, where is so cold that only endotherms can exist. At the same time the professor claims that the region where the fossils be found is much warmer than today and habitat can be changed during the cold months. Clearly, the professor disagree the first point in the massage.（少了恐龙可以migrate这点）
Moreover, even though the statement in the reading argue that leg position is the characteristic of the endotherms, because of the sustained physical activity, the professor contends that the position of the legs in order to supports more weight. （这句话没谓语啊）Obviously, the professor's argument challenges the states in the passage.
finally, both of them refer to the Haversian canals.The professor maintains that although there are Haversian canals in the dinosaurs, at the same time there are also grow(growth) rings in body of them(their bone structure).During cold period, the grow rings thicken show that the vegetation(听力中没提，应该是恐龙的生长) slowly or stopped. Whereas the author of the passage claims that the Haversian canals is the feature of the endotherms.
In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses of the reading passage and forcefully proves the central argument in the passage of（去掉） that dinosaurs are endotherms is inaccurate.



文中很多时态和主谓不一致等语法错误，建议写完后自己检查一下。很多语句可以写的更简洁，而且表意不是很清晰。建议把表意清楚作为前提。内容上第二段落了一小点，其他没什么问题，主要是表达。
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-7 10:46
感谢批改，我的英文表达实在是……，而且小时候考试基本靠蒙，从来不知道语法为何物……考T告诉我一个道理——出来混迟早是要还滴，以前偷懒丁点不学的语法和写作现在都是狂补啊，谢谢你哦，我会认真改正的（之前主要分不清哪个是对的）
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-7 18:18
1月6号 独立
Modern society, teamwork is playing an increasingly important role in competition. An effective group can make more profits than others from the same starting point. As everyone knows that a brilliant and effective leader is significant in a team, and how about the members, also important or not? Personally, I think it is not only effective but also necessary to make the decision both from the leader and the members. In other words, the effective leader should try to adopt suggestions from members.
Personally, everyone in the team is an inseparable part of the entirety. In order to enhance the efficiency of the team, it is important to inspire everyone to take a part in the decision. By this way, the goal of the team is also the target of all the people, which can inspire the proficiency extremely.

Furthermore, outstanding wise will have mistake, and personal ability always limited. Take ideas and suggestions and use them if they work for you. It is a better way than do everything by yourself. Such as, most of the company will take middle-level brain storm before any significant decision. At the same time, we can see a lot of television programs will take suggestions from audiences and organize the creation team in order to perform the best popular program. All of there show a point that the decision from both the leader and the else of the group is more effective than the leader oneself.

Additionally, when everyone take part in the decision of the team, members will have more time to communicate to each other, which is a good chance to increase the team spirit. Any effective leader know that a good teamwork means better outstanding achievement. For instance, when I was the president of student union, I took the middle-level meeting with all the ministers from different department and made the decision of action plane for next month. After the meeting the project of the student union is more popular than before.

Although it is necessary that sometime, especially in the emergency, the leader also have to do the decision by his or her self quickly and decisively. On the other hand, it is be counteractive if leaders take the suggestion from stuffs all the time.

In conclusion, an effective leader not only know how to inspirit the staff to create a miracle but also take the good suggestion from team members the same as address the urgent work firmly and decisively.
作者: micky帽子    时间: 2013-1-7 18:35
Life is challenging. In order to be successful we should prepare ourselves in many fronts. Although to be different from others could make sure （make sure的用法我不是很确定 后面是不是应该加个that, 这样后面就是个句子，one person 加单数 stands）one person stand out of the crowd quickly at the beginning, compare(d) to the beginning, a durable success is more important to our lives. In my opinion in order to succeed , person should be more like others than different from everyone else. My view is basis on (on the basis of 或者 is based on)campus, social life and family.

When we were in campus, the first thing to study is imitation. Following the teachers (,we 不然这句话读不通啦)do everything, such as writing, speaking, performing even though (even though 是虽然，even是甚至)making friends, in other words, the principle of succeed is like others. All ones know that, a successful student must be good at imitation. For instance, When I was a student in my 12 years old(at 12 years old）, I always wanted to write something different, and (made the article different from the others,我觉得这个改意思明确一点？要不然前后主语不一致)didn’t like the article style given by the writing books. But not until my words is similar as the others in my class my score is not good, and my article is not understand by others.  （not until 这里想表达什么意思？改成 As the failure of my creativity....）

From a social perspective, we live in an interdependent world which imposes its obligations on us. (独立的世界赋予我们它的责任？应该不是这个意思吧……)Each person belong（s） to different social group(s)and plays important roles. In order to be a popular person in the daily life, we should enjoy the same topic with others. Further more, a good interpersonal relationship can offer various of convenient(这个是形容词哦，要用名词convenience)which is （will be，后面是future）an advantage in the further enterprise. As a result of to be more like others, there (was) not only a successful career but also a good social relationship.(
这个句子主语不对啦。少了动词)(To be more like others, we can fulfill not only a successful career but also a good social relationship.)
Family is another important part in the daily life, and the harmonious of the family is a half of success. Members in the same house share joys and sorrows of (the) others all the time. So it is better to have the same hobby with the others in a family.

这段最好来个例子？这样充实一点

Well, the creation and selfhood is also important in one’s pursuing for success. Sometime, basingon the resemblance(,)the different is a new competition in the modern society.
In conclusion, in order to succeed, we should be more like others than different or strange(比较要成分一样). Success prefer the ordinary.




我的逻辑不好，可能还要你自己斟酌啊~但是我觉得你的这个观点不错也，从三个角度出发

你的词性要注意哦，因为反正也是练习，那就可以查查有道。写的时候特别留意或者检查的时候着重一下哈。
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-8 15:55
1月7号 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statementeople who move out of their native village or town are more successful and happier than who stay in their native village or town for their whole life.

Recent years, as the development of Chinese education, graduating from a university is not only a wish for most of students. After almost twenty years living in a same area, it is a wonderful chance for students to change a new environment that to go to an university in a different city or a bigger one than hometown. However the others think it is more happiness and successful to stay in their hometown. Well, I choose the first one for the reason of three aspects.
Personally speaking, the mental characteristics of people who want to have challenges in their lives are more adventurous, diligent, independent, and smart than the others. All of these features are the element of a successful people. Furthermore,for this kind of people success alway meant happiness. For instance, Bill Gates, who was used to be the most wealthy person of the world. He gave up the degree of Harvard, and created Microsoft with his friend Paul Allen. Maybe someone would said is crazy to give up Harvard. But Bill Gates chose to challenged himself to do something different and enjoyed it.
Moreover, in a new environment, we can get in touch with someone who come from different cities and work on various domains, and learn about multiple things out of our work and daily life. All of the fresh informations will lead to a vast potential for future development. On the other hand, the more friends meant a varied and graceful life. Experience of myself, the colleagues from my part time job during the University study show me the information of consulting, and now it is a dream which I am working hard on.

From the external context, after leave from hometown, most of us will chose a bigger city to start the next step. Such as Beijing, shanghai or other first-tire cities, which meant a more completed and modernization urban construction. In this environment the young people will have more chance of promotion and space of growth.

Well, the life of the hometown is more peace,comfortable, and convenient. Moreover, the acquaintance and social relationship also can be an assistance for the your career. But it is not essential for the success and happiness.

Go it while you're young and work wonders in the best time in our life.
作者: 45573asdasd    时间: 2013-1-8 22:51
等你作文啊亲
作者: lizchang1990    时间: 2013-1-8 23:33
1月7号独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: People who move out of their native village or town are more successful and happier than who stay in their native village or town for their whole life.

Recent years, as the development of Chinese education, graduating from a university is not only a wish for most of students. (你前面这句跟后面逻辑衔接有问题~)After almost twenty years living in a same area, it is a wonderful chance for students to change a new environment that （that后面语病）to go to an university in a different city or a bigger one than hometown. However the（去掉） others think it is more happiness and successful to stay in their hometown. Well, I choose the first one for the reason of three aspects.


Personally speaking, the mental characteristics of people who want to have challenges in their lives are more adventurous, diligent, independent, and smart than the others. （其实吧，这句话没语病，但这个表达哈，对我说很新鲜，感觉不常见，the mental characteristics are more…?）All of these features are the element(s) of a successful people. Furthermore,for this kind of people success always（粗心） meant happiness. For instance, Bill Gates, who was used to be the most wealthy person of( in) the world. He gave up the degree of Harvard, and created Microsoft with his friend Paul Allen. Maybe someone would said（1，said->say, 2,后面是语病，从句没主语） is crazy to give up Harvard. But Bill Gates chose to challenged (去ed)himself to do something different and enjoyed it.


Moreover, in a new environment, we can get in touch with someone who come from different cities and work on various domains, and learn about multiple things out of our work and daily life. All of the fresh informations（粗心） will lead to a vast potential for future development. On the other hand, the (去the)more friends meant（mean） a varied and graceful（你这个表达，换colorful吧） life. Experience of myself, the colleagues from my part time job during the University study show me the information of consulting, and now it is a dream which I am working hard on.

From the external context, after leave from hometown, most of us will chose a bigger city to start the next step. Such as Beijing
, shanghai or other first-tire cities, which meant a more completed and modernization urban construction. In this environment the young people will have more chance of promotion and space of growth.

Well, the life of the hometown is more peace, comfortable, and convenient. Moreover, the acquaintance (名次—>形容词)and social relationship also can be an assistance for the your career. But it is not essential for the success and happiness.

Go it while you're young and work wonders in the best time in our life.(不明白你这一段丢出来干啥的~要不加到上面去把~)


你的观点很好~ 虽然跟我立意点不一样，我比较欣赏你的思路~



但希望多多加强你的语言运用把~加油~进步希望蛮大的~
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-9 20:26
1月8号 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:It's more important for the government to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational devices (such as swimming pool, playgrounds).


Have you always been heard about the art museums or music performance centers where you were a child, but preciously to visite them except in the tour. Whatever, it is the story happened to me. Oppositely, Playing football and swimming is an common excise in our lives. If it can be brought out, I prefer the government to build more museums and music performance centers than the recreational devices. My view is bases on educational, financial and social.

From a academic viewpoint, visiting the arts center simply enable the students to learn more about art and music. Although but the professor will do his or her best to vivify the course, the artistic works are the best models. Remembered, one of my art classes in primary school, teacher talked about a oil painting. It is the first time I heard about it, which made me so ex citing. However, there is not any real one for student to watch it by themselves, which is a little pity in my memory. It would be contrary, if there was a art museum in my city.

Socially-speaking, there are so many recreational devices in most communities of our country, which is exactly the opposite of the art centers. Recent years, as the increase of living standard, the requirement of the culture rices several times over the early years. However, the culture facilities is far behind the need. So, it is necessary for the government to invest into the are facilities.

Economically, culture consumption is more and more popular recent years. The tickets of the drama, Musical and concert are so expensive but sold out long time before the performance. A number of art constructions will drive a huge consumption of the local society, which is an assistant to the revenue of local government.

As we all know that, the recreational devices are also an important part of daily life in the city. But for the reasons I talked above, the investment of the art constructions are more primary and economical for the current situation of social life.
作者: 45573asdasd    时间: 2013-1-9 21:14
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:It's more important for the government to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational devices (such as swimming pool, playgrounds).


Have you always been heard about the art museums or music performance centers where you were a child, but preciously to visite them except in the tour（这句话没看懂）. Whatever, it is the story happened to me. Oppositely（这个转折是个什么意思？）, Playing football and swimming is an common excise in our lives（你这两句表达都有问题啊兄弟，可能是因为有两个词到这我看不懂。简洁一点会不会好点）. If it can be brought out, I prefer the government to build more museums and music performance centers than the recreational devices. My view is bases on educational, financial and social.（本来是好句子，但是三个形容词。。。）

From a academic viewpoint, visiting the arts center simply enable（三单） the students to learn more about art and music. Although but the professor will do his or her best to vivify the course, the artistic works are the best models. Remembered, one of my art classes in primary school, teacher talked about a oil painting. It is the first time I heard about it, which made me so ex citing（好句）. However, there is not any real one for student to watch it by themselves, which is a little pity in my memory. It would be contrary, if there was a art museum in my city.（这段逻辑有瑕疵，全段无devices的篇幅）

Socially-speaking, there are so many recreational devices in most communities of our country, which is exactly the opposite of the art centers. Recent years, as the increase ，improvment of living standard, the requirement of the culture rices（大米？筛选放这不合适啊） several times over the early years. However, the culture facilities is far behind the need. So, it is necessary for the government to invest into the are facilities.

Economically, culture consumption is more and more popular recent years. The tickets of the drama, Musical and concert are so expensive but sold out long time before the performance. A number of art constructions will drive（是后面的源自前面的吧，你搞反了） a huge consumption of the local society, which is an assistant to the revenue of local government.

As we all know that, the recreational devices are also an important part of daily life in the city. But for the reasons I talked above, the investment of the art constructions are more primary and economical for the current situation of social life.
语法和小错误多点，逻辑也可以再巩固一下。加油，还是有很大提升空间的
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-9 21:25
感谢批改 devices 写着写着忘记了 …… 我提升空间是很大，因为目前水平实在是太低……
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-10 18:50
1月9号 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:Movies are worth watching only when they teach us something about the real life.


Nowadays, with the improvement of living standards, culture life is playing a more and more important role in the city life. For instance, movie is a popular consumption in the modern culture market. In my opinion, a qualified movie, which is worth watching, don’t have to teach us something about the real life. The ones give us different scenes out of the real life , such as local condition and custom from other country, science fiction and historical event and anything else, which can make us happy or thinking are worth to be enjoyed too .

From the entertainment, there is no denying that the pressure of the daily life and work is much higher than decade before. Smile is an good way to protect against the pressure and decease. Social reacher give the result of that laughing can effective against the cancer and other high prevalence decease in modern society. For instance, a comedy like <mean girls>, which is a famous movie in America, can let person forgive the pressure and unhappy in the real life. Although at the end of the movie learning nothing, you throw away all the bad feelings, which makes you energy-filled.

From a academic standpoint, the documentary film, which is a kind of movie that represent the real object about architecture, biology, wildlife protection and other kind of subjects. As a student in the university, I often watch the film about the my major and other things I interested. It is a useful way to study by oneself. What’s more, through this kind of movies people can get well know about the past and aspects of the environment different from the real life.

There is no doubt that movies make person think, which is a significant character of a successful movie. Not only the real life but also the hope and dream. When pianist Lang Lang was a five yeas old child, he watched a piano program by a cat in a movie of cartoon and liked it very much. After that, he did his best to chase dream, that to be the same as the cat in the movie. Now he is the one of the most famous pianists in the world. The story tell us that the value of a movie, is not only in the cinema but also in the future especially for the young.

In conclusion, a movie maybe show me without the true of real life, but it is a good one, which can tell me something meaningful or interesting.
作者: lizchang1990    时间: 2013-1-10 23:46
不好意思了哈，谢谢你支持我的作息时间啊，看晚了~希望对你有帮助吧~ 加油！
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:Movies are worth watching only when they teach us something about the real life.


Nowadays, with the improvement of living standards, culture life is playing a more and more important role in the city life. For instance, movie is a popular consumption in the modern culture market. In my opinion, a qualified movie, which is worth watching, don’t have to teach us something about the real life. The ones give us different scenes out of the real life , such as local condition and custom from other country, science fiction and historical event and anything else, which can make us happy or thinking are worth (worth这用法建议查下，貌似不要be哦~你的是错误的)to be enjoyed too . (建议这个such as后来的cut点，太长啦~都有点遮盖掉你前面的话了。)

From the entertainment(这个不好,建议参照你自己下面的来表达), there is no denying that the pressure of the daily life and work is much higher than decade before. Smile is an(小错误) good way to protect(这个词换掉吧，fight/prevent/get rid of) against the pressure and decease. Social reacher (小错误give the result of that laughing can effective（形容词哈，你要的是动词） against the cancer and other high prevalence decease in modern society. For instance, a comedy like <mean girls>, which is a famous movie in America, can let person forgive (这个词你错了，建议查看下哦)the pressure and unhappy in the real life. Although at the end of the movie learning nothing, you throw away all the bad feelings, which makes (小错误you energy-filled.
观点不错，喜剧啥的也是值得看的，排解压力嘛~


From a academic standpoint, the documentary film, which is a kind of movie that represent the real object about architecture, biology, wildlife protection and other kind of subjects. As a student in the university, I often watch the film about the(小错误，去掉The my major and other things I interested. It is a useful way to study by oneself. What’s more, through this kind of movies people can get well know about the past and aspects of the environment different from the real life.

你这个观点有悖你自己的perspective啦~不是说看的不是单纯的教育系列，对自己了解real life的film么？你这个例子貌似就是对我们有帮助啊，了解了real life 啊。额。。。莫非我理解错了？有问题私信我哈！

There is no doubt that movies make person think, which is a significant character of a successful movie. Not only the real life but also the hope and dream.前面，你这句不是句子哈 When pianist Lang Lang was a five yeas old child, he watched a piano program by a cat in a movie of cartoon and liked it very much. After that, he did his best to chase dream, that to be the same as the cat in the movie. Now he is the one of the most famous pianists in the world. The story tell(小错误us that the value of a movie, is not only in the cinema but also in the future especially for the young.

这个例子跟上面的感觉问题一样，不再重复了。

In conclusion, a movie maybe show(小错误,单三me without the true of real life, but it is a good one, which can tell me something meaningful or interesting. 结尾言简意赅，但希望拉长点点，这个显得蛇尾了。



总评：这个语法还有待加强，句子啥的~你的观点除第一点外，其他存在相悖的情况，希望你下次把区分度拉开，就是要跟topic相差远点的standpoint,你这个很接近，不建议说~
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-12 17:17
1月10号 独立
Nowadays people spend too much money on their pets, although those can be spent on other things. What's your point?



Resent years, the hospital, clothing shop and barbershop of the pets become more and more popular. This new fashion show a increased consumption of pets-which is treated as friends and families. However, there are so many options which are worth to invest into but neglected in daily life. Although it is possible to receive a piece of comfort and happiness from the pets, in my view, the the other part of life without pets is prime,graceful and varied which is worth pay more attention and investment.

To begin with, the love to the pet show the loneliness and goodness in one’s mind. Besides the pets, donation and volunteer can also achieve the same goal. For instance, the children living in the remote mountainous regions are not as fortunate as the city’s, who are always in the shortage of education and livelihood. People can help the students within their power, such as donate some money and second-hand stuff, to do a teacher just for one year with no wage, and broadcast the story of the children to other people. All in all, by something what I talked above, the wealth can be used more efficient and the mind will be tightly with others and be filled with love.


Although, the pleasure from pets makes the life colourful, the money can be used more efficiency than to be consumed on the pet. As well as we all know that animals are close friends of human beings. Not only the pet in home but also the wild animals, who are deserved to be protection and concerned with. On the other hand, the money can be used more efficiency than to be consumed on the pet, such as the foreign tour or the experiment of your favorite, which you would not attempt to before.


In conclusion, there is no doubt that animals, particularly for the pets, are loyalty friend of human beings, and we should do something for them sensibly. Furthermore, the contributions to the social vulnerable groups and the investment of interest which are more significant to spend the money.
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-12 22:52
11 January
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:The most important characteristic of a politician or a leader is the good communication skill


As we all know that, the leader is the core of the management and the soul of the team,just like the politician of a country. If is possible,there is no one don't want to have a try to be a leader in a group, whatever the size of the team. Here go for a problem, how to be a leader? We can find so many features on a wonderful leader, such as inspiration, cultivation, and innovation, but in my view, the most important characteristic is the communication skills. Here are the reasons.

To begin with, element task of a leader is how to keep the team in  a high efficiency. As we all know that, to be a group, there can not be only one or two persons. The bigger the team is the more people in. But it is no denying that different mind have different think, which are hardly to be identify at one once. It is opposite to that team only can have one goal, that everyone here should do their best to complete the seam target. Obviously the communication is so prime skill that can translation the different minds into a same one-the target of the whole. For instance, the politicians on the congress have to communicate to the members from the different part of the region in his management,in order to make sure that all the team under his or her management to keep in a uniform pace.

From the correct decision, the brainstorming is familiar to most of us, which is a effective way to make a good decision. Why do we take this kind of method most of time? By this way we can discuss the issue with everyone in the team-showing your opinion and listening to the others. Durning this progress, the leader should absorb the right ones and make a decision at the end,and more important  is to persuade the opponents. Communication is the key and the basic of making a effective and informed decision, which is one of the major tasks of a leader.


Finally, the group is always be together with the conflict, which is a huge adverse factor in a team. There is an other major job for the leader-smoothing over the conflict whatever outside and inside ones. Finding the reason of the conflict is the first step of the compromise, and then suit the remedy to the case. All of the parts of the progress can not lack of communications.

In conclusion, although the other for the reasons I talked above, the communication is the most significant skills for the leader and politician.
作者: conanwang    时间: 2013-1-13 02:11
As we all know that, the leader is the core of the management and the soul of the team, just like the politician of a country. If is possible, there is no one don't want to have a try to be a leader in a group, whatever the size of the team. Here go for a problem, how to be a leader? We can find so many features on a wonderful leader, such as inspiration, cultivation, and innovation, but in my view, the most important characteristic is the communication skills. Here are the reasons. (开头不错)

To begin with, element task of a leader is how to keep the team in a high efficiency. As we all know that, to be a group, there can not be only one or two persons. The bigger the team is the more people in. But it is no denying that different mind have different think, which are hardly to be identify at one once. It is opposite to that team only can have one goal, that everyone here should do their best to complete the seam target. Obviously the communication is so prime skill that can translation the different minds into a same one-the target of the whole. For instance, the politicians on the congress have to communicate to the members from the different part of the region in his management,in order to make sure that all the team under his or her management to keep in a uniform pace. （这一段主要说沟通能保持效率，很好）

From the correct decision, the brainstorming is familiar to most of us, which is a effective way to make a good decision. Why do we take this kind of method most of time? By this way we can discuss the issue with everyone in the team-showing your opinion and listening to the others. During this progress, the leader should absorb the right ones and make a decision at the end, and more important is to persuade the opponents. Communication is the key and the basic of making a effective and informed decision, which is one of the major tasks of a leader. （此段没有主题句，而且没有讲到leader，有偏题之嫌）


Finally, the group is always be together with the conflict, which is a huge adverse factor in a team. There is another major job for the leader-smoothing over the conflict whatever outside and inside ones. Finding the reason of the conflict is the first step of the compromise, and then suit the remedy to the case. All of the parts of the progress cannot lack of communications. （这里也没有讲到communication对leader的作用）

In conclusion, although the other for the reasons I talked above, the communication is the most significant skills for the leader and politician.


If is possible, there is no one don't want to have a try to be a leader in a group, whatever the size of the team.
==>If it is possible, there is no one who do not want to have a try to be a leader in a group.

As we all know that, to be a group, there can not be only one or two persons.
==>As we all know that there is often more than one person in a group.

The bigger the team is the more people in.
==>The bigger the team is the more people involve.

But it is no denying that different mind have different think, which are hardly to be identify at one once.
==>But it is no point in denying that different people have different ideas which are hardly to be identified at once.

It is opposite to that team only can have one goal, that everyone here should do their best to complete the seam target.
==>It is opposite to the view that a team can have one objective only and that everyone should do their best to pursue the same target.

Finally, the group is always be together with the conflict, which is a huge adverse factor in a team.
==>Finally, there are lots of friction in the teamwork, which may affect a team negatively.
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-13 18:59
12 January
Independent Writingo you agree or disagree with the following statement:It is better to work with your own computer and telephone at your home than work in your company's office.

We' re in an era of information, that almost everything can be completed through net on a computer or a phone. Under this condition, most of the companies replace the traditional pattern with the Web office. However, when people enjoys the conveniences bring by the information technology, their personal privacy are encountered some threat, so someone prefer to use personal computer and telephone even during working time. But in my view, it is entirely unnecessary.

Financially, for instance, people have to prepare an other computer, which is especially for the job. Maybe someone will buy a notebook and bring it home after work, which is really not convenience and uneconomic. At the same time, if people choose to the private telephone during the working time, and the bill will be expensive much more times then daily size . There no denying that all the bills are payed by yourself. The wage will shrink even before enjoy it.

In addition, the technology can protect your privacy totally, with the development of scientific and technological recent years. For instance, as we know that some software, such as Rising and 360, can delete and avoid the Trojans or the computer virus quickly and safely. By this way, there is no reasons to worried about the personal count or some other privacy information from the public computers. As for the telephone, it is impossible to be intercepted in a public one which is not legitimate.

From the efficiency, in order to be more unitive and convenient  most of the office equipments are networking, such as the computer and the printer. Furthermore, some of the devices in a department are shared by all the staff. It is different for a single equipment to take part in a network, which is inconvenience and inefficient in the work.

In conclusion, for the reasons I talked above, there is no need to use personal computer or telephone in the company, in contrast, it is more convenient, effective and economic to share the public office equipment with others.
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-16 22:05
15 January
Independent Writingo you agree or disagree with the following statement:It is impossible always being honest to your friends.

Honesty is an increasingly important role in modern daily life and penetrate in every nook of our lives. As the importance it is as we all know, here is a problem, whether it is possible always to be honest to our friends? In my opinion, from the bottom of my heart, although but the honesty important it is really hard to keep in honesty to others all the time.

To begin with, in some ways people will be hurt when clue in to the fact. For instance, I am a student in the university and live with three others in a dorm. There is a life fragment in my apartment, after shopping, girls are used to show their goods to the roommates and discuss the cost performance. There is no doubt that if the clothes or the shoes are very beautiful I will be honest to express the praise. But some time I will say:" All right, not bad." For the reasons, the goods are really expensive than its value. Why do I lie to my roommate, for the reason, I don't want to make her unhappy and disappointed.In fact, there is no reason to tell the truth to the friends every time, especially in some insignificant aspects.

In addition, different people have different minds. The same object will  precent various shapes in diverse angle. There is no need to express our points every time. It is not bad to agree with others sometimes even though you hold the opposite reasons. Giving up the points is not honest but so what? Because of the different age, gender and knowledge, different people will keep in different perspectives about the same thing. In the daily communication, when the discussion come into a corner, it is not bad to give up our view in some time in order to keep in balance with the others and it will be good for the friendship.  
However, the honesty is the prime element in the friendship. In addition, the communication among people establish on the integrity, which is the element of characteristic in the life. In order to enjoy the relationship with others, we have to keep in a balance of honesty in the daily life.

All in all, for the reasons I enumerate above, it is impossible always being honest to the friends
作者: 麦田往事    时间: 2013-1-17 00:55
Honesty is an increasingly important role in modern daily life and penetrates in every nook of our lives. As the importance it is as we all know, here is a problem, whether it is possible always to be honest to our friends? In my opinion, from the bottom of my heart, although but the honesty important it is really hard to keep in honesty to others all the time.

To begin with, in some ways people will be hurt when clue in to the fact. For instance, I am a student in the university and live with three others in a dorm最好不要用简写. There is a life fragment in my apartment.After shopping, girls are used to show their goods to the roommates and discuss the cost performance. There is no doubt that if the clothes or the shoes are very beautiful I will be honest to express the praise. But some time I will say:" All right, not bad." For the reasons, the goods are really expensive than its value. Why do I lie to my roommate, for the reason, I don't want to make her unhappy and disappointed. In fact, there is no reason to tell the truth to the friends every time, especially in some insignificant aspects.

In addition, different people have different minds. The same object will can precent various shapes in diverse angle. There is no need to express our points every time. It is not bad to agree with others sometimes even though you hold the opposite reasons. Giving up the points is not honest but so what? Because of the different age, gender and knowledge, different people will keep inmay hold different perspectives about the same thing. In the daily communication, when the discussion come into a corner, it is not bad to give up our view in some time in order to keep in balance with the others and it will be good for the friendship. 你这一段是不是想说明偶尔不诚实可以减少朋友间的争执？但是你解释原因，你除了最后一句其他的都是在讲人们看问题的方面不一样我们不一定要坚持自己的观点。最主要是你这一段没有第一句就点名不诚实可以will be good for the friendship.

However, the honesty is the prime element in the friendship. In addition, the communication among people establish on the integrity, which is the element of characteristic in the life. In order to enjoy the relationship with others, we have to keep in a balance of honesty in the daily life.你想说保持一个诚实与不诚实间的平衡么。Dishonest终归是不好的，所以这里用 balance不太妥吧。而且用balance的时候后面最好把两个名词都加上。

All in all, for the reasons I enumerate above, it is impossible always being honest to the friends



总体来说楼主写作还是不错的，中规中矩的结构，就是逻辑细节上还不够完美。
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-17 16:32
16 January
Independent Writingo you agree or disagree with the following statement:College and universities must do a better job of preparing student for the workplace


According to the increase of the number of admissions of the university and college  recent years, graduating from a  university is not only a dream to most of students.In this situation, the competence of the graduations is not as high as before,Furthermore, the students who exactly left from the campus don not have enough experience to adapt to the society.In this case, someone argue that the university and college should do better work of preparing the students for the job that they will face in the future.Personally, I have to admit that there is no more important thing for the schools than to give some practical teaching to the students.

From the student’s angle, the preparing for the work can enhance the core competence of themselves, which would give a large assistance in the competition of the employment after school, and will establish the confidence for the students in the interview of the large companies.For instance, when I run for the president of the students union, there was several interviews and presentations during the process, which give me a lot of experiences about the interview.All of the experiences make me a good confidence in the competition of the employment later and I can talk to the interviewer with a good bearing without any nervous which is the most puzzle of the other students.

Furthermore, for the employer, it is a good avoiding to the waste of the training for the basic of the work skills and communication or something else, if the fresh man had already understood some about the job.  As we all know that, the Human resource manager would like to invite the persons who are not only enthusiastic but also  experienced.

Finally, no one can deny that before choosing a university the parents and the students will consider the employment rate as a significant standard of a university and a college.
In other words, good employment rate means a wonderful souse of the student and a good reputation. For the important of the employment rate, the school should take some scheme to rise it. Obviously, the training of the workplace is a best way to enhance the competition of the graduates in the market of the employment.

In conclusion, with all the reasons I illustrate aboves, on the basic of the good academic education, the training for the further job is a significant target for the university and college in the teaching program.
作者: verchieldan    时间: 2013-1-17 19:39
According to the increase of the number of admissions of the university and college recent years（好多个of 啊，开篇是不是简介一点呢，怕毁了印象）, graduating from a university is not only a dream to most of students. In this situation, the competence of the graduates is not as high as before.Furthermore, the students who exactly left from the campus do not have enough experience to adapt to the society. In this case, someone argue that the university and college should do better work of preparing the students for the job that they will face in the future. Personally, I have to admit that there is no more important thing for the schools than to give some practical teaching to the students.

From the student’s angle, the preparing for the work can enhance the core competence of them, which would give a lot assistance in the competition of the employment after schooland will establish the confidence for the students in the interview of the large companies. For instance, when I run for the president of the students union, there were several interviews and presentations during the process, which give me a lot of experiences about the interview. All of the experiences make me a good confidence (这个 make confidence 很chinglish)in the competition of the employment later and I can talk to the interviewer with a good bearing without any nervous which is the most puzzle of the other students.

Furthermore, for the employer, it is good to avoid the waste of the training for the basic work skills (communication 应该包含在 skill 里面了)or something else, if the fresh man had already understood some about the job.  As we all know that, the Human Resource manager would like to hire the persons who are not only enthusiastic but also experienced.

Finally, no one can deny that before choosing a university the parents and the students will consider the employment rate as a significant standard of a university and a college.
In other words, good employment rate means a wonderful source of the student and a good reputation. For the important of the employment rate, （这句想表达什么？而且应该用importance） the school should take some scheme to rise it. Obviously, the training of the workplace is a best way to enhance the competition of the graduates in the market of the employment.

In conclusion, with all the reasons I illustrate above, on the basic of the good academic education, the training for the further job is a significant target for the university and college in the teaching program.


ps:不知道为什么张贴上来格式都不见了，我传了附件，用了修订模式，可能看得要清楚一些。

优点：

1.字数充足

2.论证角度多样且合理，基本分为三个角度，学生、雇主鹤学校，每一个的原因都很明显清晰，我感觉很有说服力的。

待改进：

1.我觉得可以再增加一点例子，毕竟空说道理看着很空泛

2.语法语句问题。我感觉很多表达不是很地道（当然，我自己也是），建议多用一些词组；句式单一且缺乏变化，可以用些不定式，各种从句，不要只用which，注意which不能指代前面整个句子的内容，只能指代前面的名词。

我也是26号考了，有什么问题大家一起探讨哈。


作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-17 21:06
你可以直接在我的作文帖子下面回复，这里是有格式编辑的哦……
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-18 17:21
17 January
Independent Writing:Contributes on an enjoyable vacation, please select one of three selection. Good food, Good location and with good friendsto travel.

As we all know that, Vacation is playing more importantly a role in our tension life and every chance to enjoy it is valuable. In my opinion ,I will plan how to enjoy it long before it arrives. In my plan, the location is the first to be considered, because of the traffic, economy and safety.

To begin with, traffic is the elementary because the goal of the vacation is  relaxing, and the bad traffic will ruin your good mood. I will chose the place where is not very hard to arrive and the local traffic is not bad.As we all know it could not have a wonderful body condition to enjoy the holiday that the energy is exhausted on the road to the destination. Once a time, I go to Beijing with my family for my summer vacation durning the Olympic Game. What ever the train, bus or the aircraft are all full of people.  Even worse, everywhere of the sight spot you have to wait in line at least halt an hour before you get the ticket. My family were so tired in that vacation and decided no more to go to the hottest city for holiday.

Economically,how to spent the money more effective and economic become a popular issue in  now days society the location, so do I. The location for the holiday where is better cost performance will be my favorite. Every end of the vacation, the television news of CCTV will broadcast the price of the nationwide sight spots, and the cost of various travels. Some of the prices are so expensive that the common people can not afford. No one can deny that, for most of the citizens, the vacation is not the most important part of our daily life. So how to spend the vacation happily and avoid to face to the economic pressure is the primary feature in our vacation plan.

Finally, whatever in the working day or the vacation, safety is the basic factor to be consider. Especially in holiday, the location is very relative to the safety. For example, every summer in my hometown,  two or three children will lose their young in river where is not fit for the children to enjoy the vacation by themselves.

Although, there are many other factors have to be consider in the vacation,for the reasons I talked above, I regard the location is the most important in the contribution of the vacation.
作者: verchieldan    时间: 2013-1-18 20:42
17 January
Independent Writing:Contributes on an enjoyable vacation, please select one of three selection. Good food, Good location and with good friendsto travel.

As we all know that, Vacation is playing  a more importantly important role in our tension这个是名词，可以换为tense life and every chance to enjoy it is valuable.（and 不能并列后半句，不然主语就是vocation了） In my opinion ,I will plan how to enjoy it long before it arrives. In my plan, the location is the first to be considered, because of the traffic conditions, economy and safety.

To begin with, traffic is the elementary factor because the goal of the vacation is relaxing, and but the bad traffic will ruin your（因为后面是I,避免人称混乱，最好用去掉YOURS） good mood. I will chose the place where is not very hard to arrive and the local traffic is not bad. As we all know it could not have a wonderful body condition to enjoy the holiday because that (that 去掉)the energy is exhausted on the road way to the destination. Once a time, I go to Beijing with my family for my summer vacation durning the Olympic Game. Whatever the train, bus or the aircraft are all full of people.  Even worse, everywhere of the sight spot you have to wait in line at least halt half an hour before you get the ticket. My family families were so tired in that vacation and decided no more to go to the hottest city for holiday.

Economically, how to spent the money more effective and economic become a popular issue in now days nowadays society the location(这句有问题，就不知道你想要表达什么了), so do I. The location for the holiday where is better cost performance will be my favorite. （这句句子结构不完整，还有还是不知道想要表达什么）Every end of the vacation（这种成分书面语一般放在句末，当然，口语里可以）, the television news of CCTV the CCTV news will broadcast the price of the nationwide sight spots, and the cost of various travels(各种各样的旅行？是不是要说不同路线的旅行啊). Some of the prices are so expensive that the common people can not afford. No one can deny that, for most of the citizens, the vacation is not the most important part of our daily life. So how to spend the vacation happily and avoid to face facing to去掉to，楼主注意搭配哈the economic pressure is the primary feature 改为problem 比较好in our vacation plan.

Finally, whatever in the working day or the vacation, safety is the basic factor to be consider. Especially in holiday, the location is very relative to the safety. For example, every summer in my hometown, two or three children will lose their young life in river where is not fit for the children to enjoy the vacation by themselves.

Although, there are many other factors have to be consider in the vacation,for the reasons I talked above, I regard the location is the most important in the contribution of the vacation.



因为楼主的上一篇也是我改的，我觉得这一篇就像另个人写的。。。

论证角度是没有问题的，逻辑清晰，值得我这种一写英文就无逻辑的人学习。

主要问题还是在语言表达上，这一篇过于混乱了，建议楼主在临考前多背一些长句子，套着用。
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-18 22:41
之前，从没写过作文，没计时，刚刚会写一点点了，就快考试了，所以我在计时，程度跟重新开始一样……见谅
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-20 21:50
19 January
Independent Writingo you agree or disagree with the following statement:Economic growth seems to be more important than environmental concerns.


With the development of  the globe economic, more and more government and people begin to concern about the environment, while the others argue that, the economic growth is more important the nature environment. In my opinion, there is no doubt that environment is the most important not only for human being but also for the animal and others in the earth. Human beings should not develop the economic at the cost of the environment destroyed.

To begin with, environment is the basic of the continuing the development for the globe, include the economic. With no good environment there is no increase of the economic, which is the principle of the development. When I was a child, the sky in my hometown is so blue and the sunshine is so bright, even though the economic is not very well at that time, but people is always happy and health about the good environment. Now, such the haze destroy the air in most of our country, which make people worried for a long time and scared of the outside action what is their favorite before.

From the continuing development of the economic, the goal of the economic and the improvement is to live better, in an other word to live in  a better environment. We can say that the goal of the development of the economic is to create a better and more suitable environment for human beings. In conclusion, we should give more concern to the environment today than the economic.

Last but not least, the destroy of the nature is can not be restored, which is the largest cost of the over development of the economic. As we all know that, the economic development basis on the resource of the nature that had to be stored under the earth for a long long time even before the emergence of human beings. Once it be exhausted people can never to find it again.
All in all, the environment should be concern by all of the world. Although we should develop the globe economic in a reasonable and continuing way, in order to be harmonious coexistence with nature.
作者: verchieldan    时间: 2013-1-21 09:03
19 January
Independent Writingo you agree or disagree with the following statement:Economic growth seems to be more important than environmental concerns.


With the development of the globe(global) economic, more and more government and people begin to concern about the environment.While while the others argue that, the economic growth is more important than the nature natural environment. In my opinion, there is no doubt that environment is the most important not only for human being but also for the animal and others in the earth. Human beings should not develop the economic at the cost of the environment destroyed (environment destruction or destroying the environment).

To begin with, protect environment is the basic (factor or aspect) of the continuing development for the globe, include the economic(经济包含在环境里面？好像说不通啊). With no good environment there is no increase of the economic, which is the principle of the development. When I was a child, the sky in my hometown is so blue and the sunshine is so bright, even though the economic is not very well at that time, but（even through 或者but 去掉一个） people are always happy and health about(health about the environment?) the good environment. Now, such the haze destroy the air(破坏空气？或者用污染空气是不是更好？) in most areas of our country, which make people worried for a long time and scared of the outside action(害怕户外活动？最好害怕户外活动影响身体健康，简洁一点可以是recude the frequency of taking outdoor activities ) what is was their favorite before.不知楼主的这段举例是不是想要写最近的污染，可以罗列一些PM2.5数值和一些中毒污染区域，这样好像比较清楚，也比较好写。

From （这个介词想要表达什么？是从经济可持续的观点来看吗？）the concept of continuing development of the economic, the goal of the economic developing and the improvement is to live better, in another  word, to live in a better environment. We can say that the goal of the development of the economic is to create a better and more suitable environment for human beings.(此句和前一句重复) In conclusion, we should give more concern to the environment today than the economic.这一段只是阐述了可持续发展这一概念，可以再充实一下。

Last but not least, the destructioin of the nature can not be restored(nature can not be recovered by the serious destruction), which(which 不能指代整个句子) is the largest cost of the over development of the economic. As we all know that, the economic development is based on the resource of the nature that had to be stored under the earth for a long time before the emergence (这个词出现得很奇怪，最好解释一下)of human beings. Once it be exhausted people can never to find it again.
All in all, the environment should be concern by the entire world. Although（尽管？）we should develop the globe global economic in a reasonable and continuing way, in order to be harmonious coexistence(好词！) with nature.最后一句逻辑不对啊，尽管要发展，是为了和谐共存？楼主在结尾处这种显眼的地方多注意哈




不知楼主的这段举例是不是想要写最近的污染，可以罗列一些PM2.5数值和一些中毒污染区域，这样好像比较清楚，也比较好写。

From （这个介词想要表达什么？是从经济可持续的观点来看吗？）the concept of continuing development of the economic, the goal of the economic developing and the improvement is to live better, in another  word, to live in a better environment. We can say that the goal of the development of the economic is to create a better and more suitable environment for human beings.(此句和前一句重复) In conclusion, we should give more concern to the environment today than the economic.这一段只是阐述了可持续发展这一概念，可以再充实一下。

Last but not least, the destructioin of the nature can not be restored(nature can not be recovered by the serious destruction), which(which 不能指代整个句子) is the largest cost of the over development of the economic. As we all know that, the economic development is based on the resource of the nature that had to be stored under the earth for a long time before the emergence (这个词出现得很奇怪，最好解释一下)of human beings. Once it be exhausted people can never to find it again.
All in all, the environment should be concern by the entire world. Although（尽管？）we should develop the globe global economic in a reasonable and continuing way, in order to be harmonious coexistence(好词！) with nature.最后一句逻辑不对啊，尽管要发展，是为了和谐共存？楼主在结尾处这种显眼的地方多注意哈



这一段只是阐述了可持续发展这一概念，可以再充实一下。

Last but not least, the destructioin of the nature can not be restored(nature can not be recovered by the serious destruction), which(which 不能指代整个句子) is the largest cost of the over development of the economic. As we all know that, the economic development is based on the resource of the nature that had to be stored under the earth for a long time before the emergence (这个词出现得很奇怪，最好解释一下)of human beings. Once it be exhausted people can never to find it again.
All in all, the environment should be concern by the entire world. Although（尽管？）we should develop the globe global economic in a reasonable and continuing way, in order to be harmonious coexistence(好词！) with nature.最后一句逻辑不对啊，尽管要发展，是为了和谐共存？楼主在结尾处这种显眼的地方多注意哈

作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-21 18:57
20 January
Independent Writing:Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends?a. join a sports team,b. participate in community activities,c. traveling


As the students in modern social development, it is not semes like in the past when good study can product a success and entire campus life. No one can deny that making friends as many as we can is another crucial task. When asked which is the best way to make new friends, my view is to participate in community activities. I will demonstrate my view in several different perspectives.

Firstly, when take part in a social communication, we can not only get in touch with fresh people but also to practice the communication skills, which is one of the most important skills that will deed benefit our future after the campus. For example, one of my classmate in the university, who take a part in the students union in the school time, by this way, he make a lot friends and practice himself very well. All of the experience in the student union makes his resume wonderful and help him to catch a wonderful offer from one of the top 500 companies.

Furthermore, from the type of friends, in the progress of the practicing of the social activities, most of the students try to do the same thing in the similar goal and characteristic that will give a good basic to continue the friendship in a long time. After the progress of dealing with the problem in the activities people can establish a especial relationship which maybe do effect in the later of work . Even so the companions in you student activities will become the partner in your career. One of my father’s best friend in the campus who is now my best parter in his business.

Although, there are many other road to make friends, such as take a travel or join in a team, that can give people chance to enjoy the leisure time with others. But in my view, the friends came from the community of the practice is not only interesting but also long relationship.

All in all, for the reasons I talked above, as a student in the campus, it is the best way to make friends that in the practice of the social communication, which can give us  a longer and deeper benefit.
作者: e23lzh    时间: 2013-1-21 20:55
文章改好了，问题不少，具体都写在这个word文档里了。推荐使用2010以上版本打开。
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-22 20:21
21 January
Independent Writingo you agree or disagree with the following statement:Nowadays it's easier to maintain health than the past.

Whatever in the past or modern society, health is the most concerned the physical and the mental, by people,concerned the , and it is the significant key to the happiness. Without is we can not enjoy the life with the family, without it we can not chase our dream about the career, and without it we can not have chance to read the amazing of the life.I am so proud and lucky about that I live in this era that give me a better condition than ever before to maintain the health. I will prove my view in three different perspectives.

First and objective, the level of the daily live is increased fastly recent years, which can keep most of people away from the primary killer of the health-hungry and cold.They can kill the body and heart in silence. As we all know that the limiting supply in old China, the body and the heart is suffered from the hungry. Now days people can not only satisfy the hungry but also enjoy the delicious of the food, that can give us abundant nutrition and good mood. It is obvious that people can ensure the basic of the health in modern society.

Furthermore, more and more major diseases can be prevented and cures, because of the medical technology progress.  Such as the various kinds of cancer and epidemic disease, which is the
fatal disease in the past and can kill people immediately. Benefiting from the technology, people can live longer and more comfortable than before. This is best illustrate by the example of my classmate, she was diagnosed  with bone cancer, but fortunately, she was saved by the operation.I can not image consequence if the girl lived in the past.

With the increase of living standards and the quality of life, people think more about the health which is  another way to keep away from the illness and sub-health. In most of the residential areas, we can see more and more people exercise in groups with facilities,what is the infrastructure of most residential areas.Take my mother as an example, she takes exercise every morning after her 35 age, and this make her more fit and glad than before.

In conclusion, for the reasons I talked above, the health can be maintain better than before. Although the pollution is serious than before, that is a rejection of the health and is being controlled in a limit rang. All in all, we have reason to believe that the health in future will be better than now.
作者: bet    时间: 2013-1-22 20:42
改20 January
Independent Writing:Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends?a. join a sports team,b. participate in community activities,c. traveling


As the students in modern social development, it is not semes(does not seem) like in the past when good study can product a success and entire campus life.这句话逻辑错误，后面的主语应该和students对应而不是用it is, 而且这句话是想表达古今对比吧，应该比较时间，product a success and entire campus life什么意思没读懂No one can deny that making friends as many as we can is another crucial task.这句话突然插进来有点奇怪，可以换一种说法：Making as many new friends as possible so as to expand our social network has unveiled its significance. When asked which is the best way(which way is the best) to make new friends, my view is to participate in community activities. I will demonstrate my view in several different perspectives.

Firstly, when take(taking) part in a social communication, we can not only get in touch with fresh(unacquainted) people but also to(删) practice the communication skills, which is one of the most important skills that will deed benefit our future after the campus（graduation）. For example, one of my classmate in the university, who takes part in the students union in the school time, by this way, he(删)makes a lot friends and practices himself very well. All of(删) the experience in the student union makes his resume wonderful and help him to catch a wonderful offer from one of the top 500 companies.

Furthermore, from the type of friends, in the progress of the practicing of the social activities,没读懂，表达有点儿问题most of the students try to do the same thing in the similar goal and characteristic（删） that will give a good basic to continue（build a solid foundation for） the friendship in a long time. After the progress of dealing with the problem in the activities people can establish a especial(special) relationship which maybe do effect in the later of work(effect later work) . Even so the companions in you student activities will become the partner in your career. One of my father’s best friends in the campus who is now my best parter in his business.这句话没谓语啊亲，后面是不是还差半句？

Although, there are many other roads to make friends, such as take(taking) a travel or join(joining) in a team, that(which) can give people chances to enjoy the leisure time with others. But in my view, the friends came(时态？) from the community of the practice is not only interesting but also long relationship.主语和宾语不搭

All in all, for the reasons I talked above, as a student in the campus, it is the best way to make friends that in the practice of the social communication,问题同本文首句which can give us  a longer and deeper benefit（benefit us in the long run）.



语法错误太多，建议写完后检查一遍，很多动词没加s，很多表达也不规范，这样的错误应该尽量避免。很多句子的表意不请，建议把我标注较多的句子重新写一下，理顺意思之后再考虑如何出彩。
作者: bet    时间: 2013-1-22 20:48
呵呵，刚才突然发现之前给你批过一次综合，看到了你给我的回复～～我批的是狠了点儿，呵呵，因为考过G所以对语法表达什么的问题看的很仔细～希望你不要着急，只要每天努力练习，相信一定会有很大进步的，加油！！
作者: perfectends    时间: 2013-1-22 23:12
标题: 批改21 January
备注：红色--修改；蓝色--建议。

Whatever No matter(赶脚这whatever用的啊，怪怪的) in the past or modern society, health is the most concerned problem both thephysically and the mentally,(去掉此处逗号)by people,concerned the , and it is the significant key to the happiness. Withoutis good health we can not enjoy the life with the family, without it we can not chase our dream about the career goal, and without it we can not have chance to read the amazing stories(注意amazing词性) of the life.I am so proud and lucky about that I live in this era that give me a better condition than ever before to maintain the health. I will prove my view in three different perspectives.（个人感觉：虽然你第一段是想用三个排比来闪亮登场，但是有点不像essay的味儿反倒更像文学作品。。。）

First andbe objective, the level of the daily live is increasedour living condition has been fastly improved in recent years, which can keep most of people away from the primary killer of the health-hungry and cold.They can kill the body and heart in silence. As we all know that thelimiting limited supply in old China,(去掉逗号)caused the body and the heart is suffered from the hungry.Now daysNowadays，people can not only satisfy the hungry stomaches but also enjoy the deliciousvariety of the delicious food, that can give us abundant nutrition and good mood. It is obvious that people can ensure the basic of the health in modern society.

Further more, more and more major diseases can be prevented and cures, because of the medical technology progress.  Such as the various kinds of cancer and epidemic disease, which is the
fatal disease in the past and can kill people immediately. Benefiting from the technology, people can live longer and more comfortable than before. This is best illustrated by the example of my classmate, she was diagnosed  with bone cancer, but fortunately, she was saved by the operation.I can not image consequence the future of hers if the girl lived in the past.

With theincrease of imporved living standards and the quality of life, people think more about the health which is  another way to keep away from the illness and sub-health. In most of the residential areas, we can see more and more people exercise in groups with facilities,what is the infrastructure of most residential areas.Take my mother as an example, she takes exercise every morning after her 35 age since she became 35 years old, and this make her more fit and glad than before.

In conclusion, for the reasons I talked above, the health can be maintain better than before. Although the pollution is serious than before, that is a rejection of the health and is being controlled in a limit rang. All in all, we have reason to believe that the health in future will be better than now.（这段提到pollution。。。逻辑有点奇怪的感觉。。。）


总结：


总体而言文章的结构没有大问题，这是大优点。
文章出现的问题总而言之是一个——汉语思维。具体分为以下方面：

1. 选词或者表达方式不当：有些句子很明显是中式思维，感觉你还是比较字字对应的在翻译着写；单词没有把握宁愿不用，也别犯amazing当名词这样的错误。

2.语法错误：建议没事找本语法书，张道真的不错，针对自己的作文容易犯错的语法找出来，翻到对应章节去看。

3.逻辑：逻辑问题最大的应该是在文章末段，突然抛出污染问题，但是这样的反驳作为结尾未免单薄，都可以单独立一段来反驳，有点没事给自己找乱子犯错误的感觉。末段怎么保险怎么来，如果你把握不准让步写法，宁可一边倒的总结。
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-23 20:12
1月22 综合 TPO22
The reading passage and the lecture is talking about the same question about if the ethanol is better than gasoline. The reading passage said the gasoline will not be replaced by the new fuel. When the lecture disprove from three aspects that it is not carrect in the passage.

Firstly, the professor said, just a cycle, that the carbon dioxide produced by the burning of the ethanol is reduced by the growth of the plants which is material of the new fuel. When the passage said that the ethanrol and the gasoline product the same heat to the atmosphere.

Secondly, in the passage, it is said that they are the food of the animal,  that the plants are made into the fuel . The lecture point out that the part of the plants be used to the production is disliked by the animal, and there is no disadvantage for the animals.

Finally, the lecture said that the price of the plant fuel is deed higher than the gasoline, but it is no longer to be like this once the ethanol output enhanced. Although the momentary support from the government is necessary. Here is some evidence, if the production of the ethanol is three times larger than now, the price will low down 40%.
作者: tsyxyss    时间: 2013-1-23 22:24
1月22 综合 TPO22 批改
The reading passage and the lecture is talking about the same question about if the ethanol is better than gasoline. The reading passage said(这儿改成says后边就不用改will了，反正时态不对) the gasoline will not be replaced by the new fuel. When the lecture disprove from three aspects that it is not carrect（correct） in the passage.

Firstly, the professor said, just a cycle, that the carbon dioxide produced by the burning of the ethanol is reduced by the growth of the plants which is material of the new fuel. However， When（what） the passage said（is） that the ethanrol（ethanol） and the gasoline product（是不是应该用动词produce） the same heat to the atmosphere.

Secondly, in the passage, it is said that they are the food of the animal,  that the plants are made into the fuel . The lecture point out that the part of the plants be used to the production is disliked by the animal（office建议不用被动，而且我脚得不应该是dislike，就是don’t eat就得了）, and there is no disadvantage for the animals.（我觉得无必要）

Finally, the lecture said that the price of the plant fuel is deed（是不是楼主想用indeed啊） higher than the gasoline, but it is no longer to be like this once the ethanol output enhanced ,caused by the increase of the consumption of ethanol. Although the momentary support from the government is necessary. Here is some evidence(觉得有点突兀，不太恰当), if the production of the ethanol is three times larger than now, the price will low down 40%.

水平有限，给楼主随便改的，楼主见谅，第二段反正我当时是真心没听懂，主要是cellulose那词害的。
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-24 16:29
23 January
Independent Writingo you agree or disagree with the following statement:Students can get as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from their academic studies.


As we all know that, the activities of the organization and club are playing more and more important role in the modern university than ever before. When asked that if the benefit from the activities is equal to the academic studies, in my view, absolutely yes.I will illustrate my answer in three different perspectives.

No one can deny that the campus life is very precious for all students which will be recalled through all one’s life. The activities with the classmates and friends are certainly the most valuable part in the school-days. In other words, students can gain lots of happiness and friendships from the clubs and the organizations. Take myself as an example, I taken a part in the students union once came into the university, and participated in a lot activities, which are the largest harvests in my campus life equal to the benefit to from the study. Until now, I still recall the experience in the students union with my friends .

Furthermore, the skills , such as the communication, organizing and presentation, are the necessary for the competition in the work and daily life, which can’t be foud in  books. Given this situation, the activities are not only leisure way but also the approach to the better future. The organization and club in the universities contend various aspects of the skills that are needed by the students. On the other hand, according to activities students can get in touch with more people who with different background and major, which can give students both expansive view and different kinds of friends. All of these will become a wealth to young people in the future after graduation.

Finally, functions of the activities and the studies are different, and supplement each other against. Good studies can win a well respect in community, which make people more popular in activities. At the same time, the club and organization will provide stage to show yourself to others which can give you a better situation of your major studies, because of the connections and skills practiced in the activities .

For the reasons I talked above, we have reasons to believe that both activities and studies make it each other possible, and are indispensable in our lives.
作者: wsxz007    时间: 2013-1-25 19:13
TPO23

The reading passage is talking about the reasons of the decline of the yellow ceder, while the professor hold the opposite view, that the reasons of the decline have not be confirmed.The professor disprove the reading passage in three different perspectives.

First of all, according to the reading passage, the beetle is the killer of the tree, which is disagree with the lecture. The professor said, that the surface of yellow ceder have some chemical that can detect the insect, according to this capability, only the destroyed or the sick ones can be attacked by the insect. Since attack from the beetle can not explain the decline of the tree, This is where the speaker disagree with the writer.

An other hypothesis is the damage from the bear, in contradict, the professor indicate that there is no bear in the decline area-northwestern of America-where is so cold that the bear can not living. This is entirely opposed to the writer’s expectation.

Finally, the professor said that it is impossible for the climate to decrease the population of the tree, because the area of the decline happened is the high elevation,while the lower is safe. He also indicate that the temperature of the high elevation is warmer than the lower area, which give the strongest opposition to the reading passage.
作者: tsyxyss    时间: 2013-1-26 12:51
23 January 改
Independent Writingo you agree or disagree withthe following statement:Students can get as many benefits from organization orclub activities as they can get from their academic studies.


As we all know that, the activities of theorganization and club are playing a more and more important role in the modernuniversity than ever before. When asked that if the benefit getting fromthe activities is equally important to the academic studies, in my view,absolutely, yes. I willillustrate my answer (point) in three different perspectives.

（既然楼主中立态度建议可以让步。）Quite beneficial as academic study is, forinstance, which can be used as anchor when applying for future studies, No no one can deny that the campus after class life is very precious for all students which (that) willbe recalled through all one’s life. The activities with the classmates andfriends are certainly the most valuable part in the school-days(没杠). In other words, students can gain lots of happiness and friendships fromthe clubs and the organizations. Take myself as an example, I taken apart in（过去式 took part in）
thestudents union once came into the university, and participated in a lotactivities, which are the largest harvests in my campus life equal to the benefitknowledge to absorbing from the study. Until now, I still recallcherish theexperience in the students union with my friends.

Furthermore, the skills, such as the communication, organizing and presentation,are the necessary for the competition in the work and daily life, which can’tbe foud found in books but learned from those activities. Given this situation, the activities are notonly leisure way but also the approach to the better future. The organizationand club in the universities contend various aspects of the skills that areneeded by are necessary for the students. On the other hand, according to as participants of different sorts of activities, students can get in touch with more people who withhave different background and major, which can givestudents both expansive view and different kinds of friends. All of these willbecome a wealth to young people in the future after graduation.

最后一段感觉楼主是想转折。Finally, However, the comparison between the significance of academic studyand part-time activities is itself ridiculous. Functionsof the activities and the studies are different, and supplement each otheragainst they will promote each other simultaneously. Good studies can win awell respect in community, which make people more popular in activities. At the same time, the club and organizationwill provide stage to show yourself to others which can give you a bettersituation of your major studies, because of the connections and skillspracticed in the activities.

For the reasons I talked (demonstrate) above, we have reasons to believe that both activities andstudies make it each other possible, and are indispensable in our lives.

楼主这种中立态度比较少见，我的建议慎重接受。觉的总体不错，不要光说activities 忘说academicstudy呀。



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