ChaseDream

标题: 作文啊，我来啦 [打印本页]

作者: sunflowerclan 时间: 2012-12-21 21:43
标题: 作文啊，我来啦
我在憋作文~加油！

作者: sunflowerclan 时间: 2012-12-21 21:51
21号独立
Wonderfully as swift development of the economy is . The rapid economy growth improve the people's living standard ,promote the state's strengthen and advance the development of human race. However ，Due to the the fact that the significant bad influence of the enivironment ,the complementary relationship between economy and environment and favor of voters. I strongly believe that government can never ignore the enviromental concern.
To begin with , The current situation calls for pretecting the environment.Only if human exists ,the development of the economy will exist. But when human race are wiped out form the surface of the earth, economy take-off is nonsense.The depleting of ozone layer perfectly illustrates this point. In last century ,in order to pursuit the development of the electric household industry. Refrigerators and air-conditioners using ＣＦＣ　are produced in hudge quantities. The demage effect of this chemical is visible on the Ozone layer in Antiarctic. The UV ray of the sun has reached the surface of the earth ,causing skin cancer and other ailments. It is because the government's unawareness of the significance of the environment that results in such disaster.
Moreover, common sense tells developing the environment and protecting the enviroment are proportional to each other. In order to promote the sustainable economical development,government must take environment into consideration. Nauru,the phosphate-rich South Pacific island had used to be the most rich country in the world in terms of the per capital income. But now it is lurching towards bankruptcy. Exporting the phosphate, the chemical compound used as the fertilizer, is the main income of local people. After decades of the environmental damage of exploration of the phosphate, Nauru had little left. That't the reason why government should develop the sustainbale economy.
Last but not the least,The priority of taking citizens's feeling into consideration guarantees the favor the voters. The environment pollution creates the barrier that prevent people from enjoying happiness. Due to bad air conditon, we never can smell the fresh air of the sunny sunday morning. Because millions of the huge industiral monsters which are important part of economical development are delivering waste fume and waste material every day ,far more than the amount you can image. In such cases, the country do strengthen the economy but most of the citizens are stuck in unhappiness. How can voter support this kind of the govenment ?
Therefore，I safely draw the conclusion that government have no doubt to pretecting the environment.

作者: sunflowerclan 时间: 2012-12-21 21:57
错误肯定一大筐，求狠批

作者: sunflowerclan 时间: 2012-12-22 22:10

22号独立求狠批！
Undeniably, friends are not always easily found but they will find you when time is right. However, when it comes to this topic: which way do you think is the best way for a student to make friends? I personally prefer to make friends during a trip.
To begin with, it is the travel that turns a stranger into a friend. It is definitely a wonderful opportunity to make friends when we are separated from old friends and travel alone .Although hiking，camping， skiing，Mountain climbing and other travel exercise enable us use our muscle， stretch our bodies and deepen our breath， all of which result in a good sleep. In addition, the enchanting beauty of landscape and folk culture edify our minds and spirits. But no one could share this sense of happiness with us. Especially, when we arrived at a new place we need someone's help to overcome such difficulties like loneness and nostalgia. Talking with new friends and playing cards will help to drive away loneness .Last summer, I went to the Qinghai Lake which is famous for its Birds island in Qinghai Province of China by myself. It is not surprise that after days of travel, I made dozens of friends and traveled half-way around China with them, most of whom I am still in contact with. Such case is not rare in reality. Because the loneliness and our need to drive us to find a friend, making friends with strangers is much easier.
Traveling not only provides a great deal of friends but also some true friends.
It is an adventure that develops acquaintances into close friends. Making friend during the vocation helps us to find a reliable friend ".Common sense tells us that trust is the most significant character in friendship. A dangerous situation during the trip will prevent you making some false friend.When I was a freshman, Ｉtraveled with five of my school-fellows whom have seldom spoken to. We went to the Yellow Mountain, a scenery spot in Anhui Province. Unfortunately, when climbing mountain through a narrow path alongside the deep cliff, we were attacked by a numbers of monkey just because one of member, Jerry, refused to give his red bag to monkey. One monkey even rode on jerry’s shoulder to beat him. Jerry was crying .We were scared, we were worried, we felt helpless. Someone even runed away .But at this time, Tom yelled “Throw away the bag” , Jerry did so and immediately all the moneys were garbing the red bag. . We were saved. Afterwards, Jerry and Tom became the best friend. "A friends indeed is a friends indeed" is much true
In sum, Because the number of friends and high quality of friends that travel can provide us, we safely draw the conclusion that Traveling is the best way to make friend.

作者: sunflowerclan 时间: 2012-12-22 22:38
TPO17 写的时候头就晕晕的~
The lecture talks about the issue that the number of the United Stated-birds will not affected by the human activity. He says that the theory stated in the passage was very different and somewhat inaccurate when it is taken into careful consideration.
First, it is not all types of the birds are vanishing. The lecture also indicates that although the number of a few types of birds is incline, but most of types of birds have larger and better habitats than before. In city, some types of the bird's population are even increasing. Moreover, the reason why the other species are inclining is that they do not live in the city at all.In other words, this is not because the human dwellings occupy other species habitat. This is not the truth.
Second, there is no need to increase the area of crops at all. The passage says that in order to satisfy the need of the increase of the population .lots of native habitats of birds have become the arable land. However, the speakers indicate that because of the new type of crop, we have increased production per acre, all of which results in no demand of more wild land. This is another part that experiment contradicts theory.
Thirdly, the lecture indicates that although previously birds did threatened by pesticides, but now this is not the case at all. Because we have already made two changes. One is the using of the pesticide has decreased sharply. The other is the trend-- crops has becomes more and more pest-resisted .Therefore, it eventually does not harm birds.

作者: vanessa923 时间: 2012-12-23 12:05
同学，我改你22号作文哟。。
嘿嘿，我的可能得下午交。见谅！

作者: vanessa923 时间: 2012-12-23 20:56
标题: 改1222！
黄亮精彩，蓝色建议，红色错误。

Undeniably, friends are not always easily found but they will find you when time is right. However, when it comes to this topic: which way do you think is the best way for a student to make friends? I personally prefer to make friends during a trip.
To begin with, it is the travel(ing) that turns a stranger into a friend. It is definitely a wonderful opportunity to make friends when we are separated from old friends and travel alone .Although hiking，camping， skiing，Mountain climbing and other travel exercise enable us use(不是很地道哦） our muscle， stretch our bodies and deepen our breath， all of which result in a good sleep. （这句话与下文逻辑不通，建议删掉。）In addition, the enchanting beauty of landscape and folk culture edify our minds and spirits. But no one could share this sense of happiness with us. Especially, when we arrived at a new place we need someone's help to overcome such difficulties like loneness and nostalgia. Talking with new friends and playing cards will help to drive away loneness .Last summer, I went to the Qinghai Lake which is famous for its Birds island in Qinghai Province of China by myself. It is not surprise that after days of travel, I made dozens of friends and traveled half-way around China with them, most of whom I am still in contact with. Such case is not rare in reality. Because the loneliness and our need to drive us to find a friend, making friends with strangers is much easier.
Traveling not only provides a great deal of friends but also some true friends.
It is an adventure that develops acquaintances into close friends. Making friend during the vocation helps us to find a reliable friend ".Common sense tells us that trust is the most significant character in friendship. A dangerous situation during the trip will prevent you making some false friend.When I was a freshman, Ｉtraveled with five of my school-fellows whom have seldom spoken to. We went to the Yellow Mountain, a scenery spot in Anhui Province. Unfortunately, when climbing mountain through a narrow path alongside the deep cliff, we were attacked by a numbers of monkey just because one of member, Jerry,（who） refused to give his red bag to monkey. One monkey even rode on jerry’s shoulder to beat him. Jerry was crying .We were scared, we were worried, we felt helpless. （We were scared,worried and felt helpless) Someone even runed away .But at this time, Tom yelled “Throw away the bag” , (and)Jerry did so and immediately all the moneys were garbing the red bag. . We were saved. Afterwards, Jerry and Tom became the best friend. "A friends indeed is a friends indeed" is much true.（这句话本来就是proverb，无所谓true，所以放在这里感觉很奇怪。你可以把这句话改写一下，用来支撑这个例子。）
In sum, Because the number of friends and high quality of friends that travel can provide us, we safely draw the conclusion that (t)Traveling is the best way to make friend.

注意句子与句子之间的连接词。加油！

作者: sunflowerclan 时间: 2012-12-24 22:03
24号求狠批
Although it is universally believed that because of the food additive, air pollution , stress overburden our people today are less likely to maintain health .However, as the times progress and society advances,

reservation of a good health is much more easier task for people in modern society than ever because of the self awareness, healthy lifestyle as well as the development of the medical technology.

To begin with, health awareness is the most efficiency way to keep health. If a man wants it, he will chase for it and will finally get it. Health awareness is the core motive for people to maintain a good health .If we are healthy, we can easily to fight with other problems of life .But if we are unhealthy, our most of life will go in fighting with the health problems , which eventually leads us to failure . Therefore, a increasingly number of people believe in "health is wealth ".They will do whatever it works to achieve the goal -keep fit.

Moreover, People in modern society have a much healthier life style than before. Previously, people will eat whatever they found. But nowadays，people eat nutritious food and read the ingredient of food product as well as the how many vitamins it contains. I personally selected food products according to my needs of vitamins, mineral etc. What's more, it is a fashion to take a regular exercise , which strengthen their bodies . I personally prefer Yoga , because it not only provides a physical exercise but also brings mental relaxation .After I did Yoga two years ago ，I seldom got illness .At the same time , people also schedule a regular medical check-up .I often take care of dentists once in three mouth and schedule a appointment with my physician once in six mouth .Eating nutrition，doing exercise and taking medical check-up are few examples . There are dozens of rightly life-styles that are encouraged by the scientists and are engaging by people. All these good habits result in a better health.

Last but not the least, the rapid development of the medical technology helps more and more patients regain good health. In old days, diseases like malaria ， diabetes ， infertility are disaster for human beings .But today, what people need is to go to hospital .Therefore , People will become much healthier than before .

According to the health awareness, health life-style and the medical treatment, feel obligatory to draw a conclusion that people is definitely much healthier than ever .

作者: 1369179610 时间: 2012-12-25 23:08

Although it is universally believed that because of the food additive, air pollution , stress overburden our people today are less likely to maintain health .However, as the times progress and society advances,

reservation of a good health is much more easier task for people in modern society than ever because of the self awareness（health awareness）, healthy lifestyle as well as the development of the medical technology.

To begin with, health awareness is the most efficiency（efficient） way to keep healthy. If a man wants it, he will chase for it and will finally get it. Health awareness is the core motive for people to maintain a good health .If we are healthy, we can easily to fight with other problems of life .But if we are unhealthy, our most of life will go in fighting with the health problems , which eventually leads us to failure . Therefore, an increasingly number of people believe in "health is wealth ".They will do whatever it works to achieve the goal -keep fit.

Moreover, People in modern society have a much healthier life style than before. Previously, people will eat whatever they found. But nowadays，people eat nutritious food and read the ingredient of food product as well as the how many vitamins it contains. I personally selected food products according to my needs of vitamins, mineral etc. What's more, it is a fashion to take a regular exercise , which strengthen their bodies . I personally prefer Yoga , because it not only provides a physical exercise but also brings mental relaxation .After I did Yoga two years ago ，I seldom got illness .At the same time , people also schedule a regular medical check-up .I often take care of dentists once in three mouth and schedule a appointment with my physician once in six mouth .Eating nutrition，doing exercise and taking medical check-up are few examples . There are dozens of rightly life-styles that are encouraged by the scientists and are engaging by people. All these good habits result in a better health.

Last but not the least, the rapid development of the medical technology helps more and more patients regain good health. In old days, diseases like malaria ， diabetes ， infertility are disasters for human beings .But today, what people need is to go to hospital .Therefore , People will become much healthier than before .

According to the health awareness, health life-style and the medical treatment,I feel obligatory to draw a conclusion that people is definitely much healthier than ever .

写的还不错哦~~，继续多看范文，会有突破的~

作者: sunflowerclan 时间: 2012-12-28 20:37
标题: 28号作文
28号写着写着感觉越来越怪~但又不知道哪里怪，求狠批！ Admittedly, Taking priority of the academic class is the key to student's further success. Dozens of books enable student to acquire a great deal of knowledge which might helps student become a promising young man. However, the attainment of success is not our whole life. Taking part in school's organization benefits us more due to the high salary and decent job, mental health and physical health which it could bring.
To begin with, participating school activity makes students more competitive in their future career and is more likely to find a good job. As we know, the ultimate goal for a student to study is to find a job. Taking part in organization promote students to learnmore skills about finding a job .Communication is one of the most significant skills .Communication is the bridge between people .Students can gain more communication skills through taking parting in the activities. In most cases ,in order to completing activities like a sports game, a ceremony or a performance ,students speaks more than others in terms of the total amount of the time. Therefore, this kind of experience will definitely improve student's skills in speaking. . Moreover, Students gain much experience from activities. The experience of Jerry who is my school-fellow will perfectly illustrates this point. Jerry is not good at study, but he have deep interest in participating in school activities , especially the
internship. When we are sophomore, most of students are taking course aimlessly ， Jerry got his internship in 4S Feng tian after one usual activity organized by school. Two years later, Jerry is the first student to get a job in his class. This example is not rare. Taking organization do help student find a job.
School activities not onlystrengthen our body but also edify our mind .Taking part in the sports games will force us to use our muscles， stretch our body and deepen our breath , all of which promote a healthy body . Taking part in the club activities also gives us a good chance to meet acquaintances and make new friends , all of which will leave uspleasure and happiness. I personally take part in the school's orchestra three years ago. Because of the orchestra, I make friends with schoolmates of different major .We had a little get together and helped each other , which make me feel safe and comfortable. Because of the orchestra, I enjoyed the beauty of music form Mozart， Paganini and Beethoven. It is the activities that color our life.
Last but not the least, Taking part in school activities motivates us to study. After taking part in the English Song Contest, I fall in love with English song. The insistent melody fosters me to recite more vivid English words and practice my speaking during the singing. It is the benefit that activities could bring to us that encourage us to take part in more school organization and activities.
To put it in a nutshell, Because all of the reason I cited above, I safely draw the conclusion that school organization and activities are indispensable part of student's live .

作者: sunflowerclan 时间: 2012-12-28 20:49
28号重新发下
Admittedly, Taking priority of the academic class is the key to student's further success. Dozens of books enable student to acquire a great deal of knowledge which might helps student become a promising young man. However, the attainment of success is not our whole life. Taking part in school's organization benefits us more due to the high salary and decent job, mental health and physical health which it could bring.

To begin with, participating school activity makes students more competitive in their future career and is more likely to find a good job. As we know, the ultimate goal for a student to study is to find a job. Taking part in organization promote students to learnmore skills about finding a job .Communication is one of the most significant skills .Communication is the bridge between people .Students can gain more communication skills through taking parting in the activities. In most cases ,in order to completing activities like a sports game, a ceremony or a performance ,students speaks more than others in terms of the total amount of the time. Therefore, this kind of experience will definitely improve student's skills in speaking. . Moreover, Students gain much experience from activities. The experience of Jerry who is my school-fellow will perfectly illustrates this point. Jerry is not good at study, but he have deep interest in participating in school activities , especially the internship. When we are sophomore, most of students are taking course aimlessly ， Jerry got his internship in 4S Feng tian after one usual activity organized by school. Two years later, Jerry is the first student to get a job in his class. This example is not rare. Taking organization do help student find a job.

School activities not onlystrengthen our body but also edify our mind .Taking part in the sports games will force us to use our muscles， stretch our body and deepen our breath , all of which promote a healthy body . Taking part in the club activities also gives us a good chance to meet acquaintances and make new friends , all of which will leave uspleasure and happiness. I personally take part in the school's orchestra three years ago. Because of the orchestra, I make friends with schoolmates of different major .We had a little get together and helped each other , which make me feel safe and comfortable. Because of the orchestra, I enjoyed the beauty of music form Mozart， Paganini and Beethoven. It is the activities that color our life.

Last but not the least, Taking part in school activities motivates us to study. After taking part in the English Song Contest, I fall in love with English song. The insistent melody fosters me to recite more vivid English words and practice my speaking during the singing. It is the benefit that activities could bring to us that encourage us to take part in more school organization and activities.
To put it in a nutshell, Because all of the reason I cited above, I safely draw the conclusion that school organization and activities are indispensable part of student's live .

作者: 1369179610 时间: 2012-12-28 23:47
Admittedly, Taking priority of the academic class is the key to student's further success. Dozens of books enable student to acquire a great deal of knowledge which might helps student become a promising young man. However, the attainment of success is not our whole life. Taking part in school's organization benefits us more due to the high salary and decent job, mental health and physical health which it could bring.

To begin with, participating school activities makes students more competitive in their future careers， ~~and is~~ at least they are（不然主语就是participating school activities了~） more likely to find a good jobs. As we know, the ultimate goal for a student to study is to find a job. Taking part in organization promotes students opportunities to learn more skills about finding a job .Communication is one of the most significant skills .Communication is the bridge between people .Students can gain more communication skills through taking parting in the activities. In most cases ,in order to completing activities like a sports game, a ceremony or a performance ,students speaks more than others in terms of the total amount of the time. Therefore, this kind of experience will definitely improve student's skills in speaking. . （不要过度发散，这一段的论点是交流是一项很好的技能，这已经和你的主题参加学校活动很好没有什么联系了~）Moreover, Students gain much experience from activities.（不错的观点哦~） The experience of Jerry who is my school-fellow will perfectly illustrates this point. Jerry is not good at study, but he have deep interest in participating in school activities , especially the internship. When we are sophomore, most of students are taking course aimlessly ， Jerry got his internship in 4S Feng tian after one usual activity organized by school. Two years later, Jerry is the first student to get a job in his class. This example is not rare. Taking organization do help student find a job.

School activities not only strengthen our body but also edify our mind.Taking part in the sports games will force us to use our muscles， stretch our body and deepen our breath , all of which promote a healthy body . Taking part in the club activities also gives us a good chance to meet acquaintances and make new friends , all of which will leave us pleasure and happiness. I personally take part in the school's orchestra three years ago. Because of the orchestra, I make friends with schoolmates of different major .We had a little get together and helped each other , which make me feel safe and comfortable. Because of the orchestra, I enjoyed the beauty of music form Mozart， Paganini and Beethoven. It is the activities that color our life.（这段的中心是音乐可以帮我交朋友。也是离参加活动好没什么关系了。）

Last but not the least, Taking part in school activities motivates us to study. After taking part in the English Song Contest, I fall in love with English song. The insistent melody fosters me to recite more vivid English words（很形象啊~） and practice my speaking during the singing. It is the benefit that activities could bring to us that encourage us to take part in more school organization and activities.
To put it in a nutshell, Because all of the reason I cited above, I safely draw the conclusion that school organization and activities are indispensable part of student's live .

语言上没多少错误，细节注意点就ok了。注意一下例子的使用，以更好的强化主题~

作者: sunflowerclan 时间: 2012-12-29 21:21
29号独立
No matter what excellent idea or brilliant mind about a presentation we have, if we don't take action right away, the amazing idea or brilliant mind will always be something in the air and our presentation will never finish. Therefore, I personally prefer to work it right away because of the stunning result, good habitat and amiable relationship, which it can bring.

To begin with, Working on a job step by step everyday will create a comprehensive and wonderful presentation because it can encourage students to work positively rather than passively. If we work on a presentation at the beginning we may know what we should do and how to do it. In this way we can accumulate the information about that topic form our in daily life, which will definitely bring us a remarkable result. More significantly, we can assign this important presentation into periodic ones. Thus we can stress our pressure on everyday which will motivate us to make good preparation and we can find our progress during this process. Therefore, because we pursue to finish the ultimate job ,we had a bigger faith in our own ability and therefore have confidence to finished this assignment perfectly.

In addition, Doing is preparation is good habitat which will exert a profound influence in our careers. Succeed favors those prepared mind. Actually most of successful people are likely to get everything ready beforehand and work on their job a little bit every day. An outstanding student must have good habitats of which contain what time he should review an old content for the final exam every day. How long it should make preparation for some important task such as TOFEL or GMAT. An excellent businessman must have a rational research plan to assign the total output into each mouth and make reasonable budget for his effort. All these examples show us that "the key to success is not waiting for a chance, but seizing it."Making timely preparation from every day helps us to achieve success.

Last but not the least, starting preparation earlier enables you have a harmonious relationship with team mate. If we finished the work in time, we have ability to help other and to contribute to office community .We can adjust our schedule to accommodate other's emergency or give reasonable suggestions when they need a helping hand. However, just have a imagination, if our work is left not done ,it might hold up everybody else ,which will bring us some embarrassing situation
Form what we have mentioned above, although waiting until we have a fantastic idea sometimes might be practical, in most cases, working on job everyday is a better choice.

作者: 1369179610 时间: 2012-12-29 23:25
29号独立
No matter what excellent idea or brilliant mind about a presentation we have, if we don't take action right away, the amazing idea or brilliant mind will always be something in the air and our presentation will never finish. Therefore, I personally prefer to work it right away because of the stunning result, good habitat and amiable relationship, which it can bring.

To begin with, Working on a job step by step everyday will create a comprehensive and wonderful presentation because it can encourage students to work positively rather than passively. If we work on a presentation at the beginning we may know what we should do and how to do it. In this way we can accumulate the information about that topic formed in our daily life, which will definitely bring us a remarkable result. More significantly, we can assign this important presentation into periodic ones. Thus we can stress our pressure on everyday which will motivate us to make good preparation and we can find our progress during this process. Therefore, because we pursue to finish the ultimate job ,we had a bigger faith in our own ability and therefore have confidence to finished this assignment perfectly.

In addition, ~~Doing is preparation~~（taking action immediately） is a good habitat which will exert a profound influence in on our careers. ~~Succeed~~（success） favors those prepared mind. Actually most of successful people are likely to get everything ready beforehand and work on their job a little bit every day. An outstanding student must have good habitats ~~of which contain~~ including what time he should review an old content for the final exam every day. How long it should make preparation for some important task such as TOFEL or GMAT. An excellent businessman must have a rational research plan to assign the total output into each mouth and make reasonable budget for his effort. All these examples show us that "the key to success is not waiting for a chance, but seizing it."Making timely preparation ~~from~~ every day helps us to achieve success.

Last but not the least, starting preparation earlier enables you have a harmonious relationship with team mates. If we finished the work in time, we have ability to help other and to contribute to office community .We can adjust our schedule to accommodate other's emergency or give reasonable suggestions when they need a helping hand. However, just have a imagination,（imagine this：） if our work is left ~~not~~ undone ,it might hold up everybody else ,which will bring us some embarrassing situations
Form what we have mentioned above, although waiting until we have a fantastic idea sometimes might be practical, in most cases, working on ~~job~~（presentation啦~） everyday is a better choice.

写的不错哦~进步很大啊~~思路很清晰，膜拜一下~

作者: 45573asdasd 时间: 2012-12-31 09:16
No matter what excellent idea or brilliant mind about a presentation we have, if we don't take action right away, the amazing idea or brilliant mind will always be something in the air（in vain） and our presentation will never finish. Therefore, I personally prefer to work it right away because of the stunning result, good habitat and amiable relationship, which it can bring. （好句）

To begin with, Working on a job step by step everyday will create a comprehensive and wonderful presentation because it can encourage students to work positively rather than passively. If we work on a presentation at the beginning we may know what we should do and how to do it. In this way we can accumulate the information about that topic form our in daily life, which will definitely bring us a remarkable result. More significantly, we can assign this important presentation into periodic ones. Thus we can stress our pressure on everyday which will motivate us to make good preparation and we can find our progress during this process. Therefore, because we pursue to finish the ultimate job ,we had a bigger（stronger） faith in our own ability and therefore have confidence to finished this assignment perfectly.

In addition, Doing is preparation is good（？？） habitat which will exert a profound influence in our careers. Succeed（这是动词吧，不能做主语） favors those prepared mind. Actually most of successful people are likely to get everything ready beforehand and work on their job a little bit every day. An outstanding student must have good habitats of which contain what time he should review an old content for the final exam every day. How long it should（should it） make preparation for some important task such as TOFEL or GMAT. An excellent businessman must have a rational research plan to assign the total output into each mouth and make reasonable budget for his effort. All these examples show us that "the key to success is not waiting for a chance, but seizing it."Making timely preparation from every day helps us to achieve success.

Last but not the least, starting preparation earlier enables you have a harmonious relationship with team mate. If we finished the work in time, we have ability to help other and to contribute to office community .We can adjust our schedule to accommodate other's emergency or give reasonable suggestions when they need a helping hand. However, just have a imagination, if our work is left not done ,it might hold up everybody else ,which will bring us some embarrassing situation
Form what we have mentioned above, although waiting until we have a fantastic idea sometimes might be practical, in most cases, working on job everyday is a better choice.
很不错了，注意一些词语的用法，有很多句子是不错的，但是chinglish的感觉较明显，加油

作者: 45573asdasd 时间: 2012-12-31 16:38
帅哥，你怎么没给我改啊~

作者: 45573asdasd 时间: 2012-12-31 20:03
大哥你不靠谱啊。。。

作者: sunflowerclan 时间: 2012-12-31 20:27
30号作文
Some people think professor should concentrate their work on carrying out the research because most of the high techniques come from the discoveries of the university professors. And technology is an indispensable part of the development of the society. However, the most significant job of a professor is to not to seek glory for himself , develop new technology for the country but to cultivate students in university, improve the quality of the courses and foster students to be promising young men.

To begin with, although some people might say professor can do research well and prepare courses excellent. But there is an old saying goes" Put all of your eggs in one basket and then watch that basket."As we all know, One's energy is limited and how excellent your course in most cases depended on how much time and energy you have put into it. Admittedly, the courses teached by the professor is the same every year. But with the rapid develop of the society, if a teacher who concentrate most of his energy on doing the research must do not have energy left to up date his courses, in this way the knowledge acquired by the students is outdated and useless, which waste their previous time and energy. Moreover, a good professor must have enough time and energy to care about students. Only if a professor really aware of the needs of the students can he could be called a competent teacher. The only way to attain success for most of the students is to study. Therefore, every student is eager to acquire knowledge from wonderful courses. So professor must pay attention to the quality of the courses. In most cases, if a professor devote most of the time to his course, he may act as a guide to lead students to success. He may tread students as if they were his own children. He may render advises when students are in a dilemma and give a helping hand when they encounter difficulties. He may tells students how to study and how to absorb information and how to apply what you have learn to other subjects .He may also help to broaden the scope of the horizon by providing extra material for students to read. In this way, Students are more likely to be a successful young man.

Moreover, The behavior of the professor exerts a profound influence on the students moral standards. A professor should have a strong responsibility for his work and be a honest and reliable teacher. However, the truth is that the only motivation for most of the professors, especially professor in some of Chinese University, is to get higher salary and seek the glory for themselves. In order to pursue that aim, some even cheated on the paper. As we all know teacher should set good example for students. How could you expect such professor to study faithful students? Therefore, the research oriented teaching style in university only results a disaster.

All in all, because of all of the points I mentioned above, I safely draw the conclusion that professor should concentrate on teaching students.

作者: sunflowerclan 时间: 2013-1-1 20:35
错了，是31号求狠批
Some people prefer to learn by watching TV because it can bring them vivid image and great deal of updated information. However, in most cases, not all the knowledge can learn by watch TV because of its limited resources for learning. Far more disappointing than this, Watching tends to lead to deterioration in our study performance.

To begin with, what we learned from the TV is not practical for us to use it in our daily life. Admittedly, people are good watcher. They like to watch other's life in the movie. But as it all known to us , the key function for TV program is to entertain people .Therefore, the resources for edifying people in TV is so limited that it is not enoughfor us to acquire real knowledge. In such cases, some people regard watching TV shows and movies also as"Learning ".The truth is watching movie or TV series may help people find a excuse to escape from the real world. TV do satisfied their fascination but do not teach them how to succeed. The heroes and heroines in the movie can achieve great success of their business, attain the sweet love of the life and gain highly respected of their fame so easily in a two hours long movie. But this is not the real life. People who devote their time learning from watching TV show will definitely lost balance in lives. Moreover, If we hold positive view on this kind of learning, most of people tend to addicted to watch TV, which leads to learning nothing. If a students who spend most of their time in watching TV to learn, he may experience falling grade, decreased academic experience and dedication. Adults who are addicted to this kind of TV learning may experience a similar dedication in work performance, job dedication and career inspiration. In extremes cases, job may be lose due to poor work performance, watching at work or frequent absences. As we can see, Learning from watching TV tend to lead to disaster

In a contrast, Books is the most effective way of learning. By reading book, we can contact with what some of most brilliant mind have thought. By reading book, we learn dozens of famous theories and a great deal of equations to help us get professional occupation. By reading book we can even get the first hand information about the world political situation and social problem. Moreover, knowledge form book can retain in our memories for a longer period of time. As an old saying goes "If there are a thousand people there will be a thousand Hamlets." Therefore, we can draw our own conclusion by reading the material from boo , which will foster us to remember some important knowledge.

All in all, because of the reasons I mentioned above, I safely draw the conclusion that reading book helps us more.

作者: conanwang 时间: 2013-1-1 21:43
Some people prefer to learn by watching TV because it can bring them vivid image and great deal of updated information. However, in most cases, not all the knowledge can learn by watch TV because of its limited resources for learning. 开头不错。后面这句话可以删去，因为题目问的是“是否能学到更多”Far more disappointing than this, Watching tends to lead to deterioration in our study performance.

To begin with, what we learned from the TV is not practical for us to use it in our daily life. Admittedly, people are good watcher. They like to watch other's life in the movie. But as it all known to us , the key function for TV program is to entertain people .Therefore, the resources for edifying people in TV is so limited that it is not enoughfor us to acquire real knowledge. In such cases, some people regard watching TV shows and movies also as"Learning ".The truth is watching movie or TV series may help people find a excuse to escape from the real world. TV do satisfied their fascination but do not teach them how to succeed. The heroes and heroines in the movie can achieve great success of their business, attain the sweet love of the life and gain highly respected of their fame so easily in a two hours long movie. But this is not the real life. People who devote their time learning from watching TV show will definitely lost balance in lives. （这段太长了，建议分段）

Moreover, If we hold positive view on this kind of learning, most of people tend to addicted to watch TV, which leads to learning nothing. If a students who spend most of their time in watching TV to learn, he may experience falling grade, decreased academic experience and dedication. Adults who are addicted to this kind of TV learning may experience a similar dedication in work performance, job dedication and career inspiration. In extremes cases, job may be lose due to poor work performance, watching at work or frequent absences. As we can see, Learning from watching TV tend to lead to disaster

In a contrast, Books is the most effective way of learning. By reading book, we can contact with what some of most brilliant mind have thought. By reading book, we learn dozens of famous theories and a great deal of equations to help us get professional occupation. By reading book we can even get the first hand information about the world political situation and social problem. Moreover, knowledge form book can retain in our memories for a longer period of time. As an old saying goes "If there are a thousand people there will be a thousand Hamlets." Therefore, we can draw our own conclusion by reading the material from boo , which will foster us to remember some important knowledge.（自己支持的观点应该写得多一点，至少差不多一样多，这样段落之间就平衡。）

All in all, because of the reasons I mentioned above, I safely draw the conclusion that reading book helps us more. （结尾再加一句话解释原因会好一些。）

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

However, in most cases, not all the knowledge can learn by watch TV because of its limited resources for learning.
==>> However, not all the knowledge can be acquired by watching TV because of the limited study resource.

But as it all known to us , the key function for TV program is to entertain people .
==>> However, the TV programs can be entertaining, which is its main function.

Therefore, the resources for edifying people in TV is so limited that it is not enoughfor us to acquire real knowledge.
==>> Therefore, educational programs in TV are so limited that we are unable to acquire enough knowledge from them.

The truth is watching movie or TV series may help people find a excuse to escape from the real world.
==>> In reality, seeing movies or watching TV series may help people to escape the frustrations of the real world.

TV do satisfied their fascination but do not teach them how to succeed.
==>> TV simply amazes audiences but do not teach them how to succeed.

People who devote their time learning from watching TV show will definitely lost balance in lives.
==>> People who spend too much time in learning from television will lose the balance of life.

作者: sunflowerclan 时间: 2013-1-5 22:37
5号独立求狠批啊，几天没写手生了，逻辑混乱啊
Wonderful as having no difference with other, which might enable one to get a pleasant relationship and a happy life, but the truth is that the key to succeed is to chase for his own dream from the beginning to the end persistently, not to copy other behaviors aimlessly. Therefore, I strongly believed that if one are eager to achieve success, he should be different from everybody else .

To begin with, differences of people make the way to success so different from others. Common sense tells that "Two leaves are not exactly the same to each other in the world."Everybody has different characteristic and distinctive dream and goal for life. Some people want to be a famous scientist, others aim to be a billionaire. Therefore, everyone has his own way to attain their success. The experience of one of my school-fellow, Jerry, will perfectly illustrate this point. Although it is universally accepted that learning knowledge is the way for students to succeed .Unfortunately, Jerry is not good at learning. But he had a deep interested in participating the activities, especially the internship. As we were taking courses aimlessly in the
university, Jerry was doing his internship in 4S Fengtian. Some of my classmate even looked down on Jerry because of his poor score in the exam and his own way of living. Surprisingly, three years later Jerry is the first students to find a decent and high salary job in Land Rover. If we admit that finding a good job is a success for a weak student, we can safely drew the conclusion that it is because Jerry choose his own way that make his succeed. In order to success, people must clearly recognize himself and take this own way to success.

Moreover, Every success must firmly carry out his plan, which require him to be different from others.."Throughout the history, most successful people must have a strong willing to control desires, a applicable plan to attain success and follow his/ her own plan carefully and rigidly. As Abraham Lincoln once said" I'm a slow walker, but I never walk back. Although some success might not be brilliant person but they must carry out their plan step by step persistently. One of Founding Father of United States -Benjamin Franklin is such a person. When people are sleeping in the comfortable bed , he is still go on working till late in the night. When people were eating their delicious dinner, he is still wandering in the world of books. When people are having under the care of parent, he has already established his own business. Everybody who clearly follow his own way and firmly keep his own plan will easily achieve his ultimate and definitely get success inevitably.

All in all, because the different characteristic and diverse plan to get success. Everybody must be different from others .

作者: brace1016 时间: 2013-1-6 12:56
我改你的5号的作文。改完贴上哦。

作者: brace1016 时间: 2013-1-6 21:37
Wonderful as having no difference with other, which might enable one to get a pleasant relationship and a happy life, but the truth is that the key to succeed is to chase for his(one’s) own dream from the beginning to the end persistently, not to copy other behaviors aimlessly. Therefore, I strongly believed that if one are(is) eager to achieve success, he should be different from everybody(anyone) else.

To begin with, differences of（in）people make the way to success so different from others. (这句话什么意思？是想表达人们的不同使成功的通途不同吗？感觉很别扭哦)

Common sense tells us that "Two leaves are not exactly the same to each other in the world."Everybody has different characteristic and distinctive（用名词哦distinction）dream and goal for life（感觉这里有歧义，每个人有不同的个性和性格。但是后面的dream and goal for life 想表达什么。And的作用是并列关系哦，并列的东西要有可并性哦。Characteristic 和dream 没有可并性）. Some people want to be a famous scientist; others aim to be a billionaire. Therefore, everyone has his own way to attain their（代词乱用。删掉their吧） success. The experience of one of（删掉哦，不让你后面要加复数的了）my school-fellow, Jerry, will perfectly illustrate this point. Although（删掉，不然就是run-on 的句子了。只有从句，没有主句的句子不完整。） it is universally accepted that learning knowledge is the way for students to succeed .Unfortunately, Jerry is not good at learning. But he had a deep interested in participatingactivities, especially the internship. （亲爱的，实习也是学习的一种吧。你把你的同学例子改下哦，不然逻辑上说不过去哦。我的意见是academic study and internship 都是获得知识的方式哦。你可以把那个although的句子改改哦。）As we were taking courses aimlessly in the university, Jerry was doing his internship in 4S Fengtian. Some of my classmate even looked down on Jerry because of his poor score in the exam and his own way of living. Surprisingly, three years later Jerry is the first students to find a decent and high salary job in Land Rover. If we admit that finding a good job is a success for a weak student, we can safely drew(draw) the conclusion that it is because Jerry choose his own way that make his succeed. In order to success, people must clearly recognize himself and take this own way to success.（这段例子写的很好，就是对前面的中心句写的逻辑不够严谨。可以换个说法写下了前面的论述。）

Moreover, every success must firmly carry out his plan, which require him to be different from others.（中心句的意思真心不懂。主语是every success，谓语是carry out his plan 不符合逻辑表达哦。你想说的意思是每个人得成功必须要实行他的计划吗？）"Throughout the history, most successful people must（去掉吧，太绝对了） have a strong willing to control desires, a applicable plan to attain success and follow his/ her own plan carefully and rigidly.（绿色的是什么意思。在这里是什么成分呢。） As Abraham Lincoln once said"（林肯的话是那些呢？这里真的很乱哦。） I'm a slow walker, but I never walk back. Although some success might not be brilliant person but they must carry out their plan step by step persistently. One of Founding Father of United States -Benjamin Franklin is such a person. When people are sleeping in the comfortable bed, he is still go（删掉哦）on working till late in the night. When people were eating their delicious dinner, he is still wandering in the world of books. When people are having under the care of parent, he has already established his own business. Everybody who clearly follow his own way and firmly keep his own plan will easily achieve his ultimate and definitely get success inevitably.（例子写得好，但是对中心句的支撑不到位。好好把前面的论述内容改改哦。）

All in all, because the different characteristic and diverse plan to get success. Everybody must be different from others.

感觉你对论点的把握还不够哦。就是你每段的开头句子是中心句，直接把你的观点抛出来。要明确且到位的阐述哦。作文是改了才能提高的哦。写完之后自己再琢磨句子表达啦，逻辑意思啦，再想想怎么才能做到地道的写出好句子。加油哦。

作者: Rainbamboo666 时间: 2013-1-6 22:24
举例、讲故事，两段式的boby段居然能写这么长

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