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标题: issue 81求批改 [打印本页]

作者: wbsnt    时间: 2012-12-5 00:40
标题: issue 81求批改
All parents should be required to volunteertime to their children's schools.
Write a response in which you discuss theextent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain yourreasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting yourposition, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendationwould or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape yourposition.
正文:
The statement suggests that all parents shouldbe required to voluntarily spare time to visit their children’s schools.




Most of the parents do care about their children, there is no doubt that they should pay  attention to their children’s school lives since schools are the places where people spend most of their time in therebefore they grow up to be adults. By visiting the schools, parents get thechances to personally see how their children act out of home and to talk to teachers about any issue of their kids’ e.g. problems with study or classmate relationships. It seems quite plausible that requiring all the parents to cometo school is for the good of their children and should be made mandatory.







However, a lack of visit at schooldoes not necessarily constitute drawbacks for children. School teachers aretrained to be educators for different age gaps respectively. Their teaching experiences and expertise out weight most of the non-teacher parents. Parents should believe their children will be better guided when they are in school than at home. Furthermore, teachers know when they need to have a talk with students’parents or custodians.



Similarly, frequent parent visit does not guarantee their children good performances in school, it may even be detrimental. The school life for everyone is unique and is very different fromthe home life. There is much more freedom for kids at school than at home. Most of children don’t want to have an eye on their backs when they already had enough of it at home. Parents’ visit may pose anxiety on the kids by putting them thinking about if the teacher will tell on them. In fact, people may undergo many obstacles and problems in their childhood, while they will have a total different view on them after grown up. That is an exclusive experience for everyone to go through by himselves/herselves. The parental interference may not be helpful in any sense but ruin one’s childhood by exerting their adult mind on the child.




In summary, there is no necessity to require parents to come to school. As a matter of fact, in the statement, the word “require” already conflicts with the word “volunteer”. The parents should make the decision at their own discretion.





作者: wbsnt    时间: 2012-12-5 00:48
论坛的文字排版好乱
作者: wbsnt    时间: 2012-12-5 21:36
求批改
作者: jaime001    时间: 2013-1-3 22:56
第一段你应该在复述TS的同时附上你的VIEW,能加上这个问题当今的背景情况就更好了,开头结尾有点草率
作者: 普渡哥    时间: 2013-1-4 09:27
Most of the parents do care about their children, there is no doubt that they should pay  attention to their children’s school lives since schools are the places where people spend most of their time in there before they grow up to be adults.

第一句有语法问题,逗号前后无连接词。
作者: 普渡哥    时间: 2013-1-4 09:33
作者好像没有搞清volunteer和visit的区别。。




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