The speaker claims that the general welfare of the common people ,rather than the achievements of of its rulers, artists, or scientists, represents the surest indicator of a great nation. At the first glance, this opinion seems to be somewhat convincing, but further reflection on that shows that is so complicated an issue that needs a case-to-case study, and I tend to hold the view that the general welfare of the common people is surly the primary indicator of a great nation, while the achievements of these elites from the society should not be overlooked when we considering what indicate a great nation, it is the achievements of the great people that makes a society go on and on.
To begin with, it is no doubt that the general welfare of every individual from a society can tell much about how great a nation is. On one hand, the general welfare of every individual consists of food, house , education and transportation and so on, which all enable a person to live happily. without a proper supply of these bacis factors of living, a person is deprived of his or her basic right, thus not only he or she could not develop themselves and make contribution to the nation, what's even worse, he or she may be a detrimental factor to the society. And , if everybody in a society where people's basic need cannot be met , the society will gradually be reduced into a turbulous one, so how can that nation can be named a great one? One the other hand, a nation which cannot provide the basic material for its individual is a society of no possibility of progress, it is obvious that if everyone canot have enough food to eat, and no place to settle down, they will not incline to make contribution to the society,thus the sociwty will stop developing towards a greater one.
However, the achievements of the rulers ,artists, or scientitsts also shoulb and must be an essential part of the indicator of a great nation.As is known to all, a complete life consists of two separate planes:material life and spiritual life. when the basic need of common people is met, people tend to chase their spiritual pursuit, and in most part it is the spiritual of social elites that account for the most progress in society.Take Bill Gates for example, he is one of the most rich and influencial people nowadays, when he was a student in Harward, he showed a strong interest in computer, gradually he developed personal computer successfully and so we can surf the Internet at home and type words one the desk,at same time, personal computer palys an essential and important role in everyone's life.so a nation with Bill Gates like America can be named as a great nation.
In conclusion, from what has been discussed above, we may finally draw the conclusion that the genral welfare of the commmon people is the primary indicator of a great nation, while the achivements of its social elites should also paid great atteion to when we consider what indicate a agreat nation.
In this argument, the arguer claims that modifying shoerheads to restrict water flow throughout all twelve buildings in the Sunnyside Towers complex will increase the profits even more dramatically, the recommendation is based on the fact that all the showerheads in the first three buildings of the Sunnyside Towers complex were modified to restrict maximum water flow to one-third-of what it used to be one month ago. In addition, the arguer assumes that the change will result in a considerable savings for the corporation even the actual reading of water use before and after the adjustment are not available yet. However, a careful examination of this argument of this argument would reveal that the argument is rife with holes.
First of all, the arguer make a hasty conclusion that the change will result in a considerable saving for the corporation before and after the adjustment even the actual reading of water use is not available yet. Is there any other possibility that will make the water use increase after the adjustment? If there is such a possibility, for example, when the people in the first three buidings got uncomfortable with the adjustment of the showerhead and they hired other workers to restore the showerhead to its former state , then the actual reading of water use will not decrease, so the considerable savings will be impossible. And if there is not such a possibility, then the arguement sounds more convincing.
Secondly, the arguer claims that the adjustment of showerheads does not incur complaints merely based the fact that no problems with showers have been reported except for a few complaints about low water pressure. Is it really so? if is not , for example, it is may be that many serious problems happened after the adjustment of the showerhaeds, but people in the first three buildings are so busy with their work that they did not make any complaints in a month, and if they get any spare time , their of course will make their strong complaints about the showerheads.
In addition, the arguer predicts that simply modifying the showerheads to restrict water flow will increase the proftis dramatically,however, increasing profit involves many factors such as the proper management of the corporation,the situation of the contestant company, and cost of administering the twenve buildings.If the corporation is badly managed , and the contestant company becoming stronger and the customer all leave Sunny Towers for other corporation, and the contemporary cost of administering buildings increase, the prediction that the profits will increase dramatically seems absurd.
In conclusion, the argument is not persuasive as it stands, to make it logically acceptable, the arguer would have to demonstrate that any other possibility that will increase the water use does not exist, and that the adjustment of showerheads did not incur complaints, additionally, the arguer must provide evidence that the corporation is well managed and the cost of administering buildings does not rise for the time being in order to gain a dramatic increase of profits.作者: 普渡哥 时间: 2012-11-22 11:50
issue论述得还不够深刻，对伟大民族的贡献，及作者论述的中心都没有很突出。作者: 竹林中人 时间: 2012-11-22 15:50 The speaker claims that the general welfare of the common people,rather than the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, representsthe surest indicator of a great nation. At the first glance,this opinion seems to be somewhat convincing, but further reflection on thatshows that it is so complicated an issue that needs a case-to-case study, and Itend to hold the view that the general welfare of the common people is surlythe primary indicator of a great nation（建议你能对great nation有个界定）, while the achievementsof these elites from the society should not be overlooked when we consideringwhat indicate a great nation, it is the achievements of the great people thatmakes a society go on and on.有木有发现这后面只是一句话，作者能否断下句啊。然后还有就是首段中需要对instruction有所回应，这次还是没有做到。
To begin with, it is no doubt that the generalwelfare of every individual from a society can tell much about how great anation is. On one hand, the general welfare of every individual consists offood, house, education and transportation and so on, which all（建议改为all of which）enable aperson to live happily. Without a proper supply of these basic factorsof living, a person is deprived of his or her basic right, thus not only he or she could not develop themselves and make contribution to the nation, What'seven worse, he or she may be a detrimental factor to the society. （建议这两句话重新组织下）And（不要很随意地在两个句子间用and，习惯不好） , ifeverybody in a society where people's basic need cannot be met , the societywill gradually be reduced into a turbulous？one, so how can that nation can？be named a great one?One the other hand, a nation which cannot provide the basic material for itsindividual is a society of no possibility of progress, it is obvious that ifeveryone cannot have enough food to eat, and no place to settle down, they willnot incline to make contribution to the society, thus the society will stopdeveloping towards a greater one.
However, the achievements of the rulers, artists,or scientists also should and must be an essential part of the indicator of agreat nation. As is known to all, a complete life consists of two separateplanes: material life and spiritual life. When the basic need of common peopleis met, people tend to chase their spiritual pursuit, and in most part it isthe spiritual of social elites that account for the most progress in society.Take Bill Gates for example, he is one of the most rich and influential peoplenowadays, when he was a student in Harward, he showed a strong interest incomputer, gradually he developed personal computer successfully and so we cansurf the Internet at home and type words one the desk, at same time, personalcomputer plays an essential and important role in everyone's life. so a nationwith Bill Gates like Americacan be named as a great nation.
In conclusion, from what has been discussed above,we may finally draw the conclusion that the general welfare of the commonpeople is the primary indicator of a great nation, while the achievements ofits social elites should also paid great atteion to when we consider whatindicate a great nation.Issue的语言上问题还很大，影响了你的想法的表达，希望能多多规范些。作者: 竹林中人 时间: 2012-11-22 15:54
argument如果不按照instruction写，就基本上得不到3分以上了，建议LZ注意下作者: vivianian 时间: 2012-11-23 00:49
argument如果不按照instruction写，就基本上得不到3分以上了，建议LZ注意下
-- by 会员 竹林中人 (2012/11/22 15:54:06)
这个instruction 是 what questions need to be answered .......,像我这篇argument不行吗， 一直不会应对这个instruciton, 有点困惑。。。。。作者: vivianian 时间: 2012-11-23 00:57 标题: issue73 和 argument69 题目：ISSUE73 - 无 字数：492 用时：00:30:00 日期：2012/11/22 23:48:33
The speaker claims that all the faculty in college should be required to spent time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach, at first glance, the opinion seems to be somewhat convincing, but further reflection on that shows that it is so complicated an issue that needs a case-to-case study,and I tend to hold the view that the recommendation that all the faculty should spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach has some advantages and its disadvantages.
To begin with, when the policy that all faculty should spend some time working outside the college in relevant professions has been implemented, it will surely benefit the faculty and their students, on one hand, the teacher will gain more practical knowledge about the relevent courses when they are working outside, and thus this new knowledge could be passed to their students and the students will be endowed greater ability to find jobs after graduation, at the same time, the knowledge pool of the faculty will be updated now and then when they are occupied outside the college, this renewed knowledge will make their courses even more attractive and efficient. On the other hand, the faculty will make many friends outside the college when they are working with relevant experts in their field, thus this could be a vastly important human resourse that the faculty could provide for their studnets, with this human resourse the students will more likely have a bright future.
However, the policy that all faculty should spend some time working outside the college will bring about some trouble that could not be ignored. Foremost, different teachers have different emergency to attend, some teachers are greatly engaged in their reseach as well as in their teaching, so that they obviously could not spare any time to work outside, take the teachers in my major to illustrate this point, my major is biochemistry, and my tutor have a bunch of scholar reasearch to attend, besides, he has to take part in various kinds of seminar all over the world in order to broaden his perspect, so in my tercher's case, it is unreasonable to require my teacher to spend some time in work outside the college. Moreover, there is a possibility that the teacher will be influenced by the inpure atmosphere in the society of outside college, so in return the students will be disturbed by such bad atmosphere which in not suitable for studying.
Thus, whether to adopt the policy that all faculty should spend some time working outside the college is a complicated issue, if the teacher have plenty of time , and if he is unlikely to be disturbed by the atmosphere of the outside world, it is good for him to spend some time in working outside the college in the name of updating their knowledge.
In conclusion, the recommendaton that all faculty should spend some time outside the college has some advantages and its disadvantages.
In this argument, the arguer claims that the company should use Zeta rather than Alpha for the new buildings project, even though Alpha's bid promises lower construction costs, this argument is based on the fact that the buildings constructed by Alpha cost more in the expenses for maintenance last year than the buildings constructed by Zeta, and that the energy consumption of the Zeta building has been lower than that of the Alpha building every year since its construction, in addition , the recommendation is based on the fact that Zeta has a stable workforce with little employee turnover. However, a careful examination of this argument of would reveal that the argument is rife with holes.
First of all, the argument shows that the two company constructed buildings separately ten years ago, while the Zeta cost 30 percent more in constructing the buildings with identical floor plans than Alpha cost, and the buildings ' maintenace expenses last year was only half those of Alpha's, thus , can we assert that the buildings constructed by Zeta is more cost-effective? Maybe we cannot say so, it is possible that the extra 30 percent expenses in constructing buildings went to the better facilities which equip the buildings by Zeta, thus the maintenace expenses are correspondingly lower than those of Alpha.
At the same time, the arguer claims that the energy consumption of Zeta buiding has been lower than that of the alpha building ever since its construction, but can we simply assert that the Zeta building is so well constructed that it tends to be more energy saving? It is may be that Zeta company bought higher facilities for its building in order to be energy saving with the extra 30 percent expenses in constructing the building. Moreover, how much lower is the energy consumption than that of Alpha buildings? There is a possibility that the consumption of energy is just slightly lower than that of Alpha buildings, thus it is not economical for the Zeta company to conctruct those buidings.
In addition, the arguer cites the evidence that the zeta company has a stable workforce with little turnover, but does a stable workforce with little employee have anything to do with the buildings it constrcuts? a table workforce only tells us that the zeta company has little employee turnover, it cannot show that the buildings it constructs will be betthe than that of the Alpha company.Because it is likely that the alpha company has a higher employee turnover, and the alpha company tends to exchange employees with other companies for better human resourses, thus , it is very likey that the buildings by Alpha are better.
In conclusion, the argument is not persuasive as it stands, in order to make it more logically acceptable, the arguer would have to demonstrate that the buildings by Zeta are indeed more cost-effectibe and energy saving at the same conditions with Alpha, additionally, the arguer must provide evidence that a company with little employee turnover can also construct better buildings at the same circumstances.