标题: noboundaries的作文——互改小组第一期 [打印本页] 作者: noboundaries 时间: 2012-11-18 20:23 标题: noboundaries的作文——互改小组第一期 7/98/99.The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books. "We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
The argument in the recommendation from the Board of Directors is weak. Although the advantages of Monarch Books in its business has been taken into consideration, they failed to account the corresponding possible shortcomings. Such imprudent deduct is somehow not well substantiated and dubious as well. In the recommendation, the Directors concluded that opening the cafe would attract more customers out of no persuasive reason. Even though Monarch has a large customer base, it's unknown whether the latent customers would turn to real consumers. Besides, we don't know how much the proportion of customers who love to enjoy cafe is. If only a small number ,say 1% ,of people would like to come to the cafe to enjoy cafe drinking, can we still hold the opinion that this reform is worthwhile? What's more, the following malodor and lamor is also an important issue to evaluate the feasibility of carrying out such a plan. To many people ,the sightless implement may break the valuable tranquility and therefore force away even some previous loyal customers. Considering this aspect, the given reasons of the directors is not trustworthy enough. This recommendation then quote the result of a most recent national census, whose applicability is doubtful. Firstly, national census generally collect statistics form the whole country ,as a consequence, it does not necessarily suit the situation of the area where Monarch Books is settled. Secondly, the decrease of the the population percentage under age ten is not equal to the conclusion that the absolute number of the whole children population is also diminishing. The result of the census may come from the increase of population in other ages, while the most direct change of the population under age ten is unknown. Thirdly, provided that not only the percentage but also the less absolute number are consolidated facts, we cannot draw the conclusion that children's book is less popular. Children customers ,even if their population is small ,capable of consuming more children's books. With the improved economical conditions in recent years and their parents' increasing care for them whose proportion decreased, their desire to enjoy more books may be better satisfied. Taking all this above into account, if the children's book section is discontinuing without full premeditation ,the whole sales situation may be impaired and thrown into confusion. In the end of the recommendation, an analogy is given but bears a lot of flaws. The directors simply state that Monarch should open a cafe when Regal opened its cafe. This judgement is not rational. Whether the two Book stores are comparable is unknown. Regal Books, whose main reason to open its own cafe may be a compensation for its weak book sales, is not worth of imitation. In addition, further supporting data relating to the sale situation of Regal Books after its open of cafe are not given ,which make the issue of whether or not to open a cafe for Monarch tangled. Therefore, the recommendation is full of flaws and failed to consider many important aspects. Much more work need to be done before finally decide whether it is suitable or not to open a cafe. 作者: 呆呆蓝 时间: 2012-11-18 22:35 The argument in the recommendation from the Board of Directors is weak. Although the advantages of Monarch Books in its business has been taken into consideration, they failed to account the corresponding possible shortcomings. Such imprudent deduct is somehow not well substantiated andthe conclusion isdubiousas well. In the recommendation, the Directors concluded that opening the cafe would attract more customers out of no persuasive reason. Even though Monarch has a large customer base, it's unknown whether the latent customers would turn to real consumers. Besides, we don't know how much the proportion of customers who love to enjoy cafe is. If only a small number ,say 1% ,of people would like to come to the cafe to enjoy cafe drinking, can we still hold the opinion that this reform is worthwhile? What's more, the following malodor and lamor is also an important issue to evaluate the feasibility of carrying out such a plan. To many people ,the sightless implement may break the valuable tranquility and therefore force away even some previous loyal customers. Considering this aspect, the given reasons of the directors is not trustworthy enough. This recommendation then quote the result of a most recent national census, whose however, applicability of it is doubtful. Firstly, national census generally collect statistics form the whole country ,as a consequence, it does not necessarily suit the situation of the area where Monarch Books is settled. Secondly, the decrease of the the population percentage under age ten is not equal to the conclusion that the absolute number of the whole children population of child reader is also diminishing. The result of the census may come from the increase of population in other ages, while the most direct change of the population under age ten is unknown(略牵强，可以说10岁以下不代表所有儿童，很多10以上的孩子，甚至打人都喜欢看儿童读物). Thirdly, provided that not only the percentage but also the less absolute number are consolidated facts, we cannot draw the conclusion that children's book is less popular. Children customers ,even if their population is small ,capable of consuming more children's books. With the improved economical conditions in recent years and their parents' increasing care for them whose proportion decreased, their desire to enjoy more books may be better satisfied.（牵强，还是举个例子说中国某个城市（如深圳）儿童比例减小了，但是儿童总数还是在增高） Taking all this above into account, if the children's book section is discontinuing without full premeditation ,the whole sales situation may be impaired and thrown into confusion. In the end of the recommendation, an analogy is given but bears a lot of flaws. The directors simply state that Monarch should open a cafe when Regal opened its cafe. This judgement is not rational. Whether the two Book stores are comparable is unknown. Regal Books, whose main reason to open its own cafe may be a compensation for its weak book sales, is not worth of imitation. In addition, further supporting data relating to the sale situation of Regal Books after its open of cafe are not given ,which make the issue of whether or not to open a cafe for Monarch tangled. Therefore, the recommendation is full of flaws and failed to consider many important aspects. Much more work need to be done before finally decide whether it is suitable or not to open a cafe.
[attach]110487[/attach]已阅，请查看作者: noboundaries 时间: 2012-11-29 21:45 标题: issue 5 noboundaries的作文 issue 5作者: noboundaries 时间: 2012-11-29 22:57 标题: 谢谢! 改的很详细 感谢指点！作者: gaoxing 时间: 2012-11-30 02:49
Cultural traditions are the wealth that humans accumulated forhundreds of thousands of years, it is these traditions that form us andprovided the foundations us human beings need to thrive. Generally speaking, metropolis’ state reflected(应该用一般现在时吧，reflects) the culture of acountry from the whole(不知道可不可以这样表述，直接of a whole country 肯定就没问题。), representing the core of itscultural pursuit and directions of developments. Urban areas, however, usuallyless capable in financial ability and often more monotonous in cultural preservation,are often attached less importance for their contributions for a country. Tosome extent, Cities represent the further (future?)of a country. Nevertheless, impecunious and less-developed as urban areas are, thosecountries and villages also manifest its irreplaceable functions in aspectslike unique cultural forms, different products and industries. Take China forexample, all of its fifty-six nationalities possess their original, independentculture. Even though the Han nationality is always dominant, the diversity andglory of the culture of other fifty-five nationalities cannot be shadowed.Activities like folk dances, waist drum, dragon boat racing are classic andfamous throughout Chinese history and of significant importance as constructionof people's spiritual lives, but are gradually forgotten during recent years. Theseare traditions of Chinese typical culture formations, but are generally rootedand thrived or even decay in rural areas. Government, therefore, should more orless pay some attention on them to perpetuate their vitality. From another perspective, cities are generally well developed, capableof getting support from commercial industries and has plenty human resources toharness, while rural areas often faces scarcity not only in people's attentionbut also in involvement of government and relevant organizations. As aconsequence, it is rural areas that are in greater need of help and supportthan cities. Moreover, urban areas usually possesses greater amount of naturalresources, reflecting a significant potential to be developed and exploitedcompared to nearly over exploit(exploited)sate(state? 直接over exploited cities 应该就可以) of cities. Therefore, governmentsupport would result in more substantial repayment The prosperity of a country not only depend on the culture of its majorcities, but also rely on the development of its other important aspects such asinnovation of political institution, adjustment of its economic composition. Weshould not conclude simply from the cultural factors that government shouldspend more effort on cities' flourish. Also, whether a country has the financial power to support the largeinvestments on the culture developments of its major cities is open to doubt.The effect of these support will have is also unknown. With all the warm concern on major cities, while countryside suffer(suffers) the risk of unfair treatment, what the futurethese rural areas will end? This is what we need to meditate.
