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标题: 第五题求建议，求拍~ [打印本页]

作者: gloryming 时间: 2012-10-28 20:55
标题: 第五题求建议，求拍~
Claim:
Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.

Reason:
It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

As the globalization of finance, more and more communication between country and country will lead more and more culture interaction. So the governments must ensure their major cities have enough resource to thrive but not just giving finance support directly. In the meantime some rural cities should receive finance support directly to conserve nations' cultural traditions.

In modern time, major cities should regarded as the main stages to interact with other nations, even though they are always not the places of origin of nations they have very important impact on the developing of a nation. The thrive of a nation's economy and political always in major cities. Moreover major cities absorbed many difference cultures as time goes on a multi-culture will replace the old culture. It can helps developing the country so nations must ensure they have enough resource to thrive.

But the governments should not give finance support to major cities directly, because some rural cities should recive this kind of source directly. As stated, major cities has already became multi-culture and can not preeserve the original culture. Compared with the major cities rural cities are fall behind and it is the reason why they can reserve the original culture. So it is necessary that government give them financial support directly to ensure they can still preserve the old culture. Financial support not only can ensure the culture be preserved but also helps to develop the finance of the cities.

Major cities and rural cities are both making contributions to preserve the original culturals. Major cities are stages and rural cities are the origins and reservations, they just play the different roles in preserving cultures. Major cities are the pool of cultures but rural cities are the origin. From the perspective that major cities are the central of economy governments must ensure the cities' prosperity of economy but not offer financial support directly. On the other hand, as the reservation of culture rural cities should get financial support directly. Moreover encourage they follow the big stage of globalization to ensure the culture can be passed on from generations to generations.

作者: gloryming 时间: 2012-10-28 20:56
先感谢一下之前帮忙该作文的竹林中人！

作者: 竹林中人 时间: 2012-10-29 13:03
will lead more这里lead 应当是lead to
should regarded?
The thrive of a nation's thrive是动词，不是名词
always in这里缺一谓语。
It can helps developing？
But the governments should not give finance support to major cities directly, because some rural cities should recive this kind of source directly. 这句话是何道理，感觉不成为因果啊
rural cities are fall behind ？

作者: 竹林中人 时间: 2012-10-29 13:05
建议1：ＬＺ要好好注意主谓一致以及动词时态语态等问题。
建议2：LZ还需多多研读下ＯＧ的范文，你的论述逻辑性还不够。

作者: gloryming 时间: 2012-10-29 22:23

建议1：ＬＺ要好好注意主谓一致以及动词时态语态等问题。
建议2：LZ还需多多研读下ＯＧ的范文，你的论述逻辑性还不够。

-- by 会员竹林中人 (2012/10/29 13:05:25)

总感觉写不出东西~~

作者: 竹林中人 时间: 2012-10-29 22:46

建议1：ＬＺ要好好注意主谓一致以及动词时态语态等问题。
建议2：LZ还需多多研读下ＯＧ的范文，你的论述逻辑性还不够。

-- by 会员竹林中人 (2012/10/29 13:05:25)

总感觉写不出东西~~

-- by 会员 gloryming (2012/10/29 22:23:31)

我建议你下次如果写不出东西，下次见到一个题目的时候，大脑专门想这个题目的中每一个词或词组，自己能联想到什么就写下来，不管有没有逻辑，首先不要在思维上犯懒，逼自己去想而先不要去看别人的，至少能写出三点出来，再去看其他人的看法，经过这样的几次头脑风暴，以及查找对比，你的思路应该不至于太堵塞

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