ChaseDream

标题: 独立写作求拍砖求指导~ [打印本页]

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-10-21 09:47
标题: 独立写作求拍砖求指导~
小滋滋的的独立写作求拍砖求狠批~~~火烧眉毛考试求指导~~叩谢!!!
因为是限时作文完成后就直接传上来以求最真实批改情况，所以若有一些明显的拼写错误之类的错误希望大家不要介意~^^
9月24日独立写作:
With the advent of technology and information, modern society is a high-pace and intensive enviornment. The competence to search a job is fierce. When it comes to preparation for future job in university, which might pays the most important roles in the process of fingding a job, a host of different ieads are held by different educators in defferent disciplines. Should colleges or universities offer students a better job preparation before they strat working? Admittedly, the main resposibility for stuents is to study and they should devote themselves competely to their study. Hoever, when we are facing the severe employment situation, what we must to is to prepare for future job as early as possible.
Actually, on the one hand, the main mission of student beyond class is to study, which occupys eight to ten hours a day, and students need to absorb the kownledge that the teacher taught in the class comprehensively. On the other hand, with a large number of availeble rehouses and facilities in campus, students can find materails they need whenever they want to study and to do cutting edge research. They should take advatage of rich resouces compeletly in the college. Otherwise, they will have no more chance to study systematically raher than they do in the school.

Nevertheless, while srudents should mainly spend our time in acaemic development, they should also prepare for their future job as early as possible. To begin with, modern student suffer from a lot of stress and pressure from both society and parents. They have to work hard for limited spaces into prestigious company in order to earn themseves a promising future. Better job also means good salarys, which can ensure our basic living standard in the everyday life. Therefore, student need prepare for a better job in the university, which will help them find a excellent job after graduating from school easily. For example, the university could provide a large number of job preparation couse for students in order to improve their interview skills and socail communication ability. The university can also encouage students to do intership job to gain the working experience.As a result, when students are finding a job in the future, they will have a more chance to geeting into presitigious compamies like top 500.
Furthermore, the completion to search a job is fierce. To stand out in thousands applicators, a simple diploma is not enough. What the company administration look for are people who have strong academic knowledgeable well as intership expericne. For example, a person who has work experience in the vocation as a intership is more likely to get attention from the HR than the person who has no working experience at all. Thus, it seems a fact that students need job preparation before they graduate form college.
In sum, even though the main resposibility for stuents is to study, yet faced with the severe employment situation, students should prepare for future job as early as possible. Thus, school colleges or universities should offer students a better job prepration before they start working.
10月20日作文:

With the advent of the info and technology, education plays an important role in people’s life and also becomes more and more essential. When it comes to the point whether modern people are easier to educated, different people will hold different views due to their diversity perspectives. On the one hand, some people claim that the advanced resources and facilities give more opportunities to people to be educated. On the other hand, others opposes by saying that many entertainment that accompanies with the technology development may distract people concentration on the study, leading to less time on the education. From my point of view, it’s more reasonable to support the former rather than the latter.
Admittedly, modern people confront more entice than ancient people to the increasing living standards and technology development. In this day, people can access to a large number of entertainments when they want to relax themselves. There are movie theaters to for people to enjoy latest and popular films. There are parks for people to appreciate the beautiful scenery. There are also airplanes for people to travel anywhere they want. Some people will concern that all of these may distract people from concentrating on study.
However, as a matter of fact, the entertainment that people pursuit are just one way to escape from the reality, where modern people are living in a high-pace and intensive environment. In modern society, modern people suffer from a lot of stress and pressure. Even students, they have to work hard for limited prestigious school in order to get apromising future. As a result, the competence to enter excellent school is fierce. In this case, all students would have to spend more time on study from a very young age. Because of the well basement, for most teachers, students are more easily to grasp their key points in the class. Therefore, it’s easy for teachers to educate modern students rather than past students.
Furthermore, with the economic development and increasing living standards, there is more education institution in both city and country than in the past, where more people get to the opportunity to educate. There are also more teaching resources and convenient facilities currently than in the past. For example, modern technology has a great leap in computers owing to the emergence of the internet. With the internet, students can access to a large number of knowledge and information and improve their own abilities. Besides, the university is open to all people, if you want to learn the subject, you can just walk into the campus and learn anything you want to learn. Finally, every university has its own library, you can learn everything as long as you acquire the basic reading skills, math, philosophy, geology, and the list will go on. So we can completely enrich our knowledge by ourselves.
In sum, even though that modern people may face many entice, yet they have more opportunity to get access to the knowledge. Actually, the more knowledge that an individual gets, the more easily she or he will be educated. As a result, I strongly holds my view that modern people are easier to be educated than people who live in the past.
20121021 独立写作
Whenever we study or work, we may face controversial problems. In this case, we need assistance from our friends and discuss the problems with them. More often than not, when discussing and debating become possible, some problems can be solved unconcouisly. Fortunately, mordern technology provides us many options to solve the problems when we are asking help from others. We can use email and text message or we can use telephone and voice-messaging. From my point of view, although email can svae time and energy, i still like to use telephone since using telephone make the problem solved more effeciently and directly.

No one can deny the great convience the email bring. Never before we can communicate with others so conviniently. With email, we don’t have to go to the post office to send letters, all we have to do is to clik a bottom, in no minute, we can send 10 mails simoutanously. If you have a camera, you can also attach the picture to the mail. Thus,it is easy for us to discuss problems with otherS through emails. For example, when we face a complex problem in math, we can send emile that accompanys with resolving process of the question to our classmates for help. In contrary, they can also write down their details of solving process about the question to us. The detail and statistics are more easier for us to umderstand the problems.

However, while many people like to use email to solve the problem, as witnessed today, and email truly provide many details with charateristics and pictures, I prefer to use telephone sicne it is more directly and quickly. As a matter of fact, modern people live in a high-paced and intensive environment. And people haveto face a large munber of workloads everyday and they don’t even have spare time to relax hemselves. In this saituation, they might check thier emial at most once a day. Obviously, If you want to get a fast repay from the person you ask assistant for, you may not get the repay immediatelly. But if you take up the phone and call the person who can discuss the problems with you, you will get a higher of chance to solve your problem righy away.

Futhermore, with the advanced of the information and technology, people nowdays move to a cyber world and begin to work online, study online, even game online. People lost their tradition way of communication, from which people can get access to the communication skills. In light of this, using telephone is a more direct communication way and improve our communication sills. Also, the internet makes the realtionship between individuals becomes more loose and distant, using telephone to search help from frieds can cement their relationship with friends.

In sum, even though that email is more precise in solving problems, yet it can not solve the problem instantly. Actually, telephone allow us talk to others directly, which can cement our friedship with our friens. As a result, I strongly holds my opinion that i like to use telephone when facing the complex problems.
20121021综合写作
The reading passage lecture argues that wood companies in the USA don't want to adopt ecological certifications. However, the lecture casts doubt on what the lectuer says.

Fistly, the lectur asserts that customers in USA don’t trust the ecological certification, so wood companies don't need to adopt the certification. But the professor opposes by saying that customers concern about the profits and reputation of the company. If the company has a certification, they will have confidence about the quality of the products they buy.

Seconly, the lecture thinks that wood business in USA wouldn't like to introduce ecological certification since ecocentified wood is more expensive than unecocentritied wood, which will contribute to high price of products. However, the professor contradicts that the diference bewtteen the price of products is small, thus customers tend to buy pruducts with high value espeally something frirendly to environment.

Finally, the lecture claims that the pratice can only be adopted abroad, but cannot be adopted in the local USA. But the lecture asserts that the main customers target of wood business are local people in USA, companies should cater to the local people's taste.

作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-10-22 21:08
粉红色拼写错误(直接修改了)橘红色语法错误（谓语搭配单复数问题、固定搭配、空格多空了一格、逗号句号用错了）红色其他错误黄色精彩句子蓝色建议修改（个人建议，不对的地方多多指教啊）

20121021综合+独立求拍砖

Whenever we study or work, we may face controversial problems. In this case, we need assistance from our friends and discuss the problems with them. More often than not, when discussing and debating become possible, some problems can be solved unconsciously. Fortunately, modern technology provides us many options to solve the problems when we are asking help from others. We can use email and text message or we can use telephone and voice-messaging. From my point of view, although email can save time and energy, I still like to use telephone since using telephone makes the problem solved more efficiently and directly.

No one can deny the great convience the email bring. Never before we can communicate with others so conveniently. With email, we don't have to go to the post office to send letters, all we have to do is to click a bottom, in no minute, we can send 10 mails simultaneously.(你这个post office扯远了吧，问题中限制了四个沟通方式啊）If you have a camera, you can also attach the picture to the mail.（这句逻辑不通，有电脑才行啊) Thus, it is easy for us to discuss problems with otherS through emails. For example, when we face a complex problem in math, we can send email that accompanys with resolving process of the question to our classmates for help.(前句逻辑比较混乱，分两句写吧）In contrary, they can also write down their details of solving process of the question to us（什么叫to us，要不send it to us吧）. The detail and statistics are easier for us to understand the problems.

However, while many people like to use email to solve the problem,（前句啰嗦，建议删掉） as witnessed today, and email truly provides many details with characteristics and pictures, I prefer to use telephone sicne it is more directly and quickly. As a matter of fact, modern people live in a high-paced and intensive environment. And people have to face a large number of workloads everyday, and they don't even have spare time to relax themselves. In this situation, they might check thier email at most once a day. Obviously, If you want to get a fast reply from the person you ask assistance for, you may not get the replyimmediately. But if you take up the phone and call the person who can discuss the problems with you, you will get higher of chance to solve your problem right away.

Furthermore, with the advanced of the information and technology, people nowadays move to a cyber world and begin to work online, study online, even game online. （扯远了啊） People lost their traditional way of communication, from which people can get access to the communication skills. In light of this, using telephone is a more direct communication way and improves our communication skills. Also, the Internet makes the relationship between individuals becomes more loose and distant, using telephone to search help from friends can cement their relationship with friends. （这段偏题了）

In sum, even though that email is more precise in solving problems, yet it cannot solve the problem instantly. Actually, telephone allows us to talk（加to）to others directly, which can cement our friendship with our friends. （复数）As a result, I strongly hold my opinion that I like to use telephone when facing complex problems.

有太多的小错误，逻辑比较混乱~ 加油吧！

作者: 阿伦艾弗森 时间: 2012-10-22 21:37
额，我的综合好像归安东尼改。！~~~

作者: 阿伦艾弗森 时间: 2012-10-22 21:48
The reading passage lecture（这两个有点语义重复了，用其中一个就好）argues that wood companies in the USA don't want to （companies 不能发出want to 的动作）adopt ecological certifications. However, the lecture casts doubt on what the lectuer says.

Fistly, the lectur asserts that customers in USA don’t trust the ecological certification, so wood companies don't need to adopt the certification.（这个论点主要是基于不相信广告造成的，所以把逻辑叙述清楚。）But（连词最好不要当句子开头） the professor opposes by saying that customers concern about the profits and reputation of the company.（这个点我俩听的不一样，建议都重听一下吧。我听的是：美国人会区别广告） If the company has a certification, they will have confidence about the quality of the products they buy.（听力不准确，缺少细节）

Seconly, the lecture thinks that wood business in USA wouldn't like to introduce ecological certification since ecocentified wood is more expensive than unecocentritied wood, which will contribute to high price of products. However, the professor contradicts that the diference bewtteen（粗心？呵呵） the price of products is small（表示价格建议用low, high）, thus customers tend to buy pruducts with high value espeally something frirendly to environment.（谓语动词与连词的关系是谓语数=连词数+1，建议以后用此法去检验自己写的句子的语法，你这句是一个连词3个谓语）

Finally, the lecture claims that the pratice can only be adopted abroad, but cannot be adopted in the local USA.（论点改写不准确）~~But~~ the lecture asserts that the main customers target of wood business are local people in USA, companies should cater to the local people's taste.（听力论点不准确，且缺乏细节）

1.语法小毛病较多、需要好好注意下。
2.听力一定要准确，多细节。
3.连词最好不要打句头，不地道

一点拙见，望共同进步。有什么改的不完善的地方希望共同讨论！~~

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-10-23 20:46
1023综合
In the reading passage, it argues that fuel-cell engines should replace oil engines since the hydrogen fuel-cell engines produce is more renewable, enviornmental, and costless. However, the lecture contradicts what the reading passage holds.

Frstly, the reading passage mentions that fuel-cell engines utilize the renewable hydrogen resouces while oil engines use renewable oil resouces, so the replacement is visible. However, the lecture opposes that it isdifficult to obtain and store hydrogen that presents in the water. Sincepreserving the hydrogen requires a extremely low temperature and also extracting the hydrogen is a high artificial process.

Secondly, the reading passage suggests that fuel-cell engines can protect the enviornmewnt by producing water whereas the carbon dioxide emitted from oil has a bad effect on the enviornment. But the professor undermines this by saying that the car using the fuel-cell engines in the process of purification indeed don't pollute the environment. However, the factory that produce the hydrogen using burning oil and coal may pollute the enviornment.

Finally, the reading passage believes that fuel-cell engines is more cheaper and effecient since they consume half energy than oil engines. However, the professor assests that the process of production is costly. Extracting the hydrogen repuires one mental component that coour chemical reactions, which is a complex process and ewpensive.

1023独立
Modern society is a high-pace and intensive environment. Modern people suffer from a large number of pressure and people even don’t have spare time to relax themselves. In this situation, they will become angry and anxious easily and sometimes even become rude to others unconsciously. However, from my point of view, there is no reason to be impolite or rude to other persons. As a matterof fact, rudeness shouldn’t be considered to be the excuses of escaping pressure. In the contrary, if you are polite to people, you will get a good relationship with others and thus it will benefit both your carer and life quality, bring you happiness to you.

On the one hand, Being polite to people arong ue is of great siginificance to both our life and career. First of all, having polite manner matters a great deal in our life. Sine polite manner always means good relationship with others. More often than not, we may face problems in our life. In this case, we need help and assistanat from our family and friends. However, if we don’t have good relationship with them for we are always rude to them, we won’t receive help from others. Even for our family, we should always keep polite to them, which will cement our relationship with our family. Secondly, keeping good relationship with coleagues also has a important effect on the career. Our work usually requires a group of people working together, which centralizes everyone’s strength and wise, so everyone in the team should cooperate with each other. If teammates have a good relationship with each other, it will garutee the quality of the accomplishments and improve the effeicientcy of the work. Finally, if we are polite to people around us and have a well relationship with them, we will feel happy as well. A survey by the Tessess Data, a statistic organization, has found that people who have more than ten close freinds are more likely to describe themselves as “happy person” than those have smaller social circles.

In this day and age, on the other hand, we human beings have a great leap in our basic living standards. In additoin, with the advent of the technology and information, modern people move to a cyber world, where our living conditions are boosting greatly. In this situation, we should devote our more attetion on construction of civilization and improve ourselves’morality standard, treating both unfamiliar and close individuals well. Besides, being polite to unfimiliar persons shows our respect to others， which could promote the hormony of the whole society.

In sum, we should be polite to people all the time, only in this way can we make our life more fantastic and successful.

作者: mcs6436288 时间: 2012-10-24 17:38
Modernsociety is a high-pace and intensive environment. (, so) Modernpeople suffer from a large number of pressures and people evendon’t have spare time to relax themselves. In this situation, they will becomeangry and anxious easily and sometimes even become rude to othersunconsciously. However, from my point of view, there is no reason to be impolite or rude to otherpersons.(看了几篇文章，好像大家说不要用原句，要改写一下) As a matter offact, rudeness shouldn’tbe considered to be the excuses of escaping pressure.(逻辑问题，鲁莽是逃避压力的借口？--压力是导致鲁莽的借口) In thecontrary, if you are polite to people, you will get a good relationship withothers and thus it（用it不好，指代不明） will benefitboth your carer andlife quality, and brings you happinessto you.

On the one hand,Being polite to people arongue is of great siginificanceto both our life and career. Firstof all, having polite manner matters a great deal in our life.（没怎么读懂） Sine polite manner always means good relationship with others. Moreoften than not, we may face problems in our life. In this case, we need helpand assistanat from ourfamily and friends. However, if we don’t have good relationship with them for we are always rude to them（我自己感觉for口头比较多）, we won’t（表示推断用would not 比较好） receive helpfrom others（前面说了them，就用them吧）. Even for our family（具体用families吧）, we shouldalways keep polite to them, whichwill cement our relationship with our family（which指代什么，which不能指代一句话，不过toefl阅读倒也经常出现这种用法）.Secondly, keeping good relationship with coleagues also has a important effect on the career. Our work usuallyrequires a group of people working together, which centralizes（which同上） everyone’sstrength and wise, so everyone in the team should cooperate with each other. Ifteammates have a good relationship with each other, it（指代错误） will garutee the quality of theaccomplishments and improve the effeicientcy of the work. Finally, if we are polite to peoplearound us and have a well relationship with them, we will feel happy as well. Asurvey by the TessessData, a statistic organization, has found that people who have more than tenclose freinds are morelikely to describe themselves as “happy person” than those have smaller socialcircles.

In this day and age, on theother hand, we，human beings， have a greatleap in our basic living standards. In additoin, with the advent of the technology and information（information很早一直存在）, modern peoplemove to a cyber world, where our living conditions are boosting greatly. （逻辑性不强，前后感觉没有必然的因果关系）Inthis situation, we should devote our more attetion on construction of civilization and improveourselves’morality standard, treating both unfamiliar and close individualswell.（感觉不是很好，不过做伴随也说得通）Besides, being polite to unfimiliarpersons shows our respect to others， which could promote（同上一which） the hormony of the whole society.

In sum, weshould be polite to people all the time, only in this way can we make our lifemore fantastic and successful.
字数够，用词也比较有变化，不过有一些单词错误。更重要是逻辑，感觉逻辑上有一点点小混乱吧。特别是relationship那一段，没有逻辑上的递进，好像全都在一个问题上打转。最后一段在多写几句吧。改的不对的地方，请谅解。请斟酌，请教大N。

作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-10-24 20:37
1023综合
粉红色拼写错误(直接修改了)橘红色语法错误（谓语搭配单复数问题、固定搭配、空格多空了一格、逗号句号用错了）红色其他错误黄色精彩句子蓝色建议修改（个人建议，不对的地方多多指教啊）

In the reading passage, it argues that fuel-cell engines should replace oil engines since the hydrogen fuel-cell engines produce is more renewable, enviornmental, and costless.(概括错了，你自己翻译成中文试试：更可更新，环境话的，不花钱的） However, the lecture contradicts what the reading passage holds.

Firstly, the reading passage mentions that fuel-cell engines utilize the renewable hydrogen resources while oil engines use renewable oil resources, （oil not renewable 你意思错了，读不通啊）so the replacement is visible. However, the lecture opposes that it is difficult to obtain and store hydrogen that presents in the water. Since preserving（不要the）hydrogen requires（元音）an extremely low temperature and also extracting the （不要the） hydrogen is a highly artificial process.

Secondly, the reading passage suggests that fuel-cell engines can protect the environment by producing water whereas the carbon dioxide emitted from oil has a bad effect on the environment. But the professor undermines this by saying that the car using the fuel-cell engines in the process of purification indeed don't pollute the environment. However, the factory that produces the hydrogen using burning oil and coal may pollute the environment. （感觉这段有点挠）

Finally, the reading passage believes that fuel-cell engines are more cheaper and efficient since they consume half energy than oil engines. However, the professor asserts that the process of production is costly. Extracting hydrogenrequires one mental component that coour （啥意思）chemical reactions, which is a complex process and expensive.

楼主你的漏洞太多了，很多拼写错误，语法错误也很多，原文第一段关键意思没听清，加油吧！

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-10-25 09:21

1024独立

With the advanced of the technology and information booming, our living conditions have been greatly enhanced in the last few years owing to the efforts of all scientists from all over the world. Admittedly, some people argue that countries shouldn’t share all their scientific discoveries with other countries in the word since they concern about the world peace may be affected by some evil countries. However, others hold that the government should share all their scientific discoveries with other countries in the world that will benefit all human beings and promote the living standards of all over the world. From my point of view, whether one country should share its scientific discoveries with other countries depends.

On one hand, it’s true that a nation should share its technology findings that can benefit all human beings. Initially, the goal of every scientist is to help the progress of human and share the outcome of scientific research to facilitate all individuals. So government shouldn’t prevent them publishing the achievement to the public. For example, we can hardly imagine the situation that the USA, the birthplace of the first computer in the world, didn't share the invention of computer with the world. We perhaps still have to do the complex and hard work inefficiently by ourselves, as our ancestors do. Fortunately, the USA government chooses to share the outcome with human beings and the computer therefore greatly changes all aspects of our life. The computers are responsible for the spread of the information that everyone can access to a large number of information through the internet. Computers that apply to our different aspects in our life, from earnings to furniture, are not a fancy anymore. All of these thanks to the sharing of scientists and their government.

On the other hand, what comes along with the technology is the advanced medical science. Sharing discoveries on medicine can improve the health conditions of all human beings as well. For instance, from the history of human science, human have overcome a lot of fatal diseases, such as blood cancer, diabetes, myopia, which save many thousands of people's lives. The achievement that we acquire in medicine is attributed to the contribution of many excellent scientists and their share, which benefits all of our human beings. So, there is no reason for some government preventing scientists to share their great scientific discoveries that benefit human with other countries in the world.

Sharing all the scientific discoveries with other countries, nevertheless, may cause a great damage to the whole world, especially the military discoveries. For example, if the America shared the discovery of how to make nuclear bombs to all over the world in the World WarⅡ, the nuclear bomb of USA wouldn't remember as the one that ends the war but the one that continues the war.

In sum, it's rather superficial to simply say that the government and corporation should share all their scientific discoveries with other countries in the word. As a matter of fact, countries should choose to share the discoveries depend on different situations.

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-10-25 11:53
1024 TPO9
In the reading passage, it argues that there are two possible explanations of decreasing population of sea otters, environmental pollution and predator. The reading passage supports the former one. However, the lecture casts doubt on what the reading passage holds.

Initially, the reading passage points out that it is the industrial chemicals that results in the reduction of the sea otters. However, the professor mentions that there is no evidence finding death sea otters washing off the Alaskan coast, which prove the main cause of decreasing of sea otters is predator rather than environmental pollution.

Furthermore, the reading passage asserts that the pollution affects entire ecosystem including the sea otters and large predators like orca. In the contrary, the professor believes the reason that contributes to the decreasing population of the sea otters is human hunters. Since the human hunt aquatic species excessively, some large animals are forced to change their diets to prey small animals like sea otters instead of large preys.

Finally, the reading passage thinks that the uneven pattern of sea otters results from the reduction of sea otters. But the professor opposes this by saying that the uneven pattern, as a matter of fact, can explain the later point. The reason is that if the predator of the sea otters can find them easily, the population of the sea otters will be diminished greatly. In contrast, it's so hard for large predators to prey sea otters in shallow sea, which is attributed to the uneven pattern.

作者: kris灿 时间: 2012-10-25 20:23
The readingpassage explores the focus on the issue of pollution is the cause of thedecline sea otter populations off the Alaskan coast. The professor's lecturedeals with the same topic. However, which contradicts what the reader's statesin the reading passage. And in the lecture, she uses three specific points tosupport her view.
To begin with,even though the reading passage suggests that there were known pollutionsources along the Alaskan coast, the professor argues in the lecture that therehas no evidence about otter death caused by life-threatening infection andlittle dead otters not suit for this condition. Evenly less dead otters providethese otters dead caused by predator. If caused by infection the number of thedead otters should be a lot.
Moreover, despitethe statement in the reading that seals, sea lions along the Alaskan coast werealso decline because of the pollution, however, professor contends that some ofthe predators have are the key reason for otters death. She support her pointwith, orcas used to prefer whales; because of pople’s hunting, the whalesdecreased, which leads orcas hunts other food like otters. in other words,which also provide the predator are the reason.

Finally, theprofessor asserts that orcas cannot moving to some rocky and shallow locationwhich made the uneven concentration of the otters. Even though, the readingpassage points the pollution uneven in different areas.
In conclusion, theprofessor clearly identifies the weakness in the reading passage andconvincingly shows that central argument in the reading three reasons forotter's decline is unconvincing.

作者: kris灿 时间: 2012-10-25 20:50
1024 TPO 粉色建议
In the reading passage, 如果只是reading那它就只是表达了一个原因就是污染听力才是predator it argues that there are two possible explanations of ( for)decreasing population of sea otters,去逗号 are environmental pollution and predator. The reading passage supports the former one. However, the lecture casts doubt on what the reading passage holds.建议楼主有个好一点的模版这个感觉有点干啊。

Initially, the reading passage points out that it is the industrial chemicals that results in the reduction of the sea otters. However, the professor mentions that there is no evidence finding death sea otters washing off the Alaskan coast, 最好说一下尸体的数量变化which prove the main cause of decreasing of sea otters （cause of sea otters' decrease）is predator rather than environmental pollution.

Furthermore, the reading passage asserts that the pollution affects entire ecosystem including the sea otters and large predators like orca. In the contrary, the professor believes the reason that contributes to the decreasing population of the sea otters is human hunters这里容易产生误会建议后面的那句前提哦这调换一下Since the human hunt aquatic species excessively, some large animals are forced to change their diets to prey small animals like sea otters instead of large preys.

Finally, the reading passage thinks that the uneven pattern of sea otters results from the reduction of sea otters.这句你想表达的有问题吧 But the professor opposes this by saying that the uneven pattern, as a matter of fact, can explain the later point. The reason is that if the predator of the sea otters can find them easily, the population of the sea otters will be diminished greatly. In contrast, it's so hard for large predators to prey sea otters in shallow sea, which is attributed to the uneven pattern.
建议楼主把重点线说出来然后再说细节加油~~

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-10-26 14:55
10.25独立
What is happiness？Different people will have different answers about happiness due to their different backgrounds. Some people think that the success obtained in one’s career will make his or her happy. Others argue that hanging out with friends will bring them happiness. From my point of view, work can bring greater happiness than social life

No one can deny that social life truly bring us a lot of fun, especially after we work in the front of the screen of the computer to fulfill a large number of workloads for ten or twelve hours a day. Nothing can compare with the happiness that hanging out with friends relaxing ourselves can bring. We can go shopping in big mall to buy anything we want with our friends. We can go to Movies Theater to watch a latest movie. Or we can go to KTV to sing songs and release our stress. All of these make me feel fun, which can unconsciously relieve our pressure from study and work.

However, in a matter of fact, social life plays a small part in our life in certain times. After all, we need to work for living and work occupy most of our life rather than entertainment, especially in this high-pace and intensive society. As a breadwinner, you need to work hardly to support your family and you always can acquire big salary through the work and improve living conditions of family. For example, you can buy a big house in the suburbs, which provide a good environment for your children’s development. You can also afford your children the best education to send his or her to excellent school. All of these will definitely cement make your family a better life.

Furthermore, the successful achievement that you gain in your career may bring you a sense of personal satisfaction. The fruits of own working achievement are always sweeter than of indulging in comforts. When you finish a load of work or promote sales of productions, you will be happy and successful unconsciously, even though you have spent an exhausted day.

In sum, although the entailment with our friends can bring an instant amusement and relaxation for us, in long run, we need more meaningful things to prove our individual value in society. It is undeniable that the success in our career can benefit both our family and us. Thus, there’s no doubt that work can bring greater happiness than social life.

作者: kiddy72 时间: 2012-10-26 21:42
What is happiness？Different people will have different answers about happiness due to their different backgrounds. Some people think that the success obtained in one’s career will make his or her happy. Others argue that hanging out with friends will bring them happiness. From my point of view, work can bring greater happiness than social life

No one can deny that social life truly bring us a lot of fun, especially after we work in the front of the screen of the computer to fulfill a large number of workloads for ten or twelve hours a day. Nothing can compare with the happiness that hanging out with friends ~~relaxing ourselves~~ can bring. We can go shopping in big mall to buy anything we want with our friends. We can go to Movies Theater to watch a latest movie. Or we can go to KTV to sing songs and release our stress. All of these make me feel fun, which can unconsciously relieve our pressure from study and work.这段后面最好反驳一下吧要不一开始让人容易有观点混乱的感觉

However, in a matter of fact, social life plays a small part in our life in certain times. After all, we need to work for living and断句吧感觉这两句没什么联系 work occupies most of our life rather than entertainment, especially in this high-pace and intensive society. As a breadwinner, you need to work hardly to support your family and you always can acquire big salary through the work and improve living conditions of family. For example, you can buy a big house in the suburbs, which provides a good environment for your children’s development. You can also afford your children the best education to send his or her to excellent school. All of these will definitely cement make your family a better life.

Furthermore, the successful achievement that you gain in your career may bring you a sense of personal satisfaction. The fruits of own working achievement are always sweeter than of indulging in comforts. When you finish a load of work or promote sales of productions, you will be happy and successful unconsciously, even though you have spent an exhausted day.

In sum, although the entailment with our friends can bring an instant amusement and relaxation for us, in long run, we need more meaningful things to prove our individual value in society. It is undeniable that the success in our career can benefit both our family and usourselves. Thus, there’s no doubt that work can bring greater happiness than social life.

作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-10-27 21:01
求作文！

作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-28 05:20
等你的10.27综合和独立。

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-10-28 11:06
10.27独立
Wether patience is a good strategy? Different people will hold different opinions due to their different backgrounds.Some people argue that patience enables us think comprehensively and make a sound decision, which improves the possibility of success. Others assert that taking instant action is the key point access to success instead of simply waiting since opportunity never waits for anyone. From my point of view, whether to keep patience depends.

For a scientist, once settled his goal, he should always keep patience and hold confidence to be successful next time. Scientific research is a repeating, lonely and dull work. No one can tell you whether you are on the right way to your destination. What a scientist only do is to devote all his soul to the project and improve the process of experiments gradually. Every time he refine his procedure of his experiments, perhaps he will approach his success in one close step. He should keep patience and never give up. Such faith is needed for being a scientist. Edison kept patience during thousands of failures. Mrs. Curie did not gives up though the extremely hard times. Their patience leads them to success.

However, the situation may just be the opposite for a student, especially the student just graduating from university.As a job-hunter,theymust take actions immediately rather than wait since opportunity do not always wait for anyone. We live in a world whereis a high-pace and intensive environment . Modern people, even student,have to suffer from a large number of pressures from life and work. The competition to enter good companies is fierce. In this case, modern college students should grasp every opportunitie that can help them access to job and take action right away when opportunities coming.

As to ordinary people, we should always keep this motto in our mind, for we are not scientists most of the times. Actually, we are the person who recognize ourselves'talents and shortcomings comprehensively and know what are best for us. If we decide to do something, we should take action instantly rather than hesitate. The success depends on how far you go rather than how far you imagine. For example, Bill Gate made a astonishing decision of dropping out of Harvard to organize Microsoft since he observed the demand of the product and seized the business oppotunity. The Steve Jobs quited the Reed University in the second year of study. If they once hesitated, they would not become who they are today.

Nothing is absolutely right just as nothing is absolutely wrong. Patience leaves us space to prepare thoroughly, while action virtually helps us close to our goal. As a result, from the above statement, we can draw out the belief that whether we should take action now rather than latershould be obtained on who you are and where you are.

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-10-28 13:27
TPO13
The reading passage explores the focus on the issue that the commercial fossils have a bad effect on both scientists and public.However, the professor's lecture hold a different opinion that commercial fossils benefit more than harm.

To begin with, the reading passage suggests that commercial fossils make it impossible for public to see the fossils and therefore reduce their interest in fossils. In the contrary, the lecture asserts that commercial fossils will make more people access to fossils. Since the commercial fossils make fossils expose to morelow-level institutions like school and library.

Furthermore, the reading passage mentions that commercial fossils sold to private collector can make scientists miss many important discoveries. However, the lecture opposes that fossils won not lose valuethough collected by private collector. The reason is that before collector purchase the fossils, the fossils must be identified by scientists through examinations and tests.

Finally, the lecture opposes the reading passage by saying that commercial fossils will destroy valuable fossils, one of the most valuable scientific evidence. While the lecture contradicts that commercial fossils enable most of uncoverd fossils expose to human, which contributes the development of fossils.

作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-29 07:18
标题: 10.27 独立
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

Wether or not patience is a good strategy? Different people will hold different opinions due to their different backgrounds.Some people argue that patience enables us to think comprehensively and make a sound decision, which improves the possibility of success. Others assert that taking instant action is the key point access to success instead of simply waiting since opportunity never waits for anyone. From my point of view, whether to keep patience depends on blabla...thesis statement 一定要完整呀。不能直接将it depends换成你想说的内容的，没有这个表达.

For a scientist, once settled his goal, he should always keep patience and hold confidence to be successful next time. 表达不明确，不太能看懂你用这句话做subpoint的开头有什么用。 Scientific research is a repeating, lonely and dull work. No one can tell you whether you are on the right way to your destination. What a scientist only do？？ is to devote all his soul to the project and improve the process of experiments gradually. Every time he refine his procedure of his experiments, perhaps he will approach his success in one close step. He should keep patience and never give up. Such faith is needed for being a scientist. Edison kept patience during thousands of failures. Mrs. Curie（小意见，说Marie Curie比较好，因为老外不知道谁是Mrs. Curie.） did not gives up though the extremely hard times. Their patience leads them to success.

However, the situation may just be the opposite for a student, especially the student who just graduating from university.As a job-hunter,theymust take actions immediately rather than wait since opportunity do not always wait for anyone. We live in a world whereis a high-pace and intensive environment . Modern people, even student,have to suffer from a large number of pressures from life and work. The competition to enter good companies is fierce. In this case, modern college students should grasp every opportunitie that can help them access to job and take action right away when opportunities coming. 例证不错，如果能更注意遣词造句就更好了。

As to ordinary people, we should always keep this motto in our mind, for we are not scientists most of the times. 此句不通，建议重写。Actually, we are the person who recognize ~~ourselves'~~ our (反身代词没有物格的哦，所以用Our就好了)talents and shortcomings comprehensively and know what are best for us. If we decide to do something, we should take action instantly rather than hesitate. The success depends on how far you go rather than how far you imagine.（文章中主体指代要尽量一致，之前用了we，就用us, our 做对应；不要冒出you啊之类的了。）For example, Bill Gate made a astonishing decision of dropping out of Harvard to organize Microsoft since he observed the demand of the product and seized the business oppotunity. The Steve Jobs quited the Reed University in the second year of study. If they once hesitated, they would not become who they are today. 加强用词丰富性会加强例证的强度。

Nothing is absolutely right just as nothing is absolutely wrong. Patience leaves us space to prepare thoroughly, while action virtually helps us close to our goal. As a result, ~~from the above statement,~~ 这是一句废话。建议不用。we can draw out the belief that whether we should take action now rather than latershould be obtained on who you are and where you are.

作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-29 07:32
标题: 10.27 综合
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The reading passage explores the focus on the issue that the commercial fossils 这个表达有歧义。have a bad effect on both scientists and public.However, the professor's lecture hold a different opinion that commercial fossils benefit more than harm.观点提取的相当准确。

To begin with, the reading passage suggests that commercial fossils make it impossible for public to see the fossils and therefore reduce their interest in fossils. In the contrary, the lecture asserts that commercial fossils will make more people access to fossils. Since the commercial fossils make fossils expose to morelow-level institutions like school and library.

Furthermore, the reading passage mentions that commercial fossils sold to private collector can make scientists miss many important discoveries. However,the lecture opposes that fossils won not lose valuethough collected by private collector. The reason is that before collector purchase the fossils, the fossils must be identified by scientists through examinations and tests.

Finally, the lecture opposes the reading passage by saying that commercial fossils will destroy valuable fossils, one of the most valuable scientific evidence. While the lecture contradicts that commercial fossils enable most of uncoverd fossils expose to human, which contributes the development of fossils.怎么个发展法呀？有歧义哦。

总结：总的来说，前两个点总结的相当完美，不仅细节充分，而且和原文的conflict比照的也很清楚。唯一的一些遗憾在：1. 表达不够准确，如commericial fossils, 更准确的表达应该是commercial fossil market/ selling fossils in the commericial market.2. 第三个小点的细节部分没有抓住，在第三点上lecturer有一个优劣对比，他说尽管信息可能会因为贩卖化石受到损害，但是更多的化石可以被discovered，所以更好。
In all, 这篇文章相当精彩，我认为good是跑不掉的。

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-10-30 20:34
Environmental protection and economic development are both of significance for a country. When it comes to whether governments should focus its budgets more on environmental protection than on economic development, different people will hold different opinions based on their different backgrounds. From my point of view, Governments should focus its budgets more on environmental protection than on economic development

Good environment is of prerequisite of human being as well as plants and animals on our planet. To begin with, atmosphere on earth, the environment of our basic living conditions, provide fresh air for human to breath. But air is not polluted by modern transportation that burn fossil fuels, which make our air less healthy to breathe. The air pollution also causes the acid rain, which destroy vegetation and building in the ground. To convert this situation, the government has to plant a lot of trees in the surroundings areas of the city, which need a large expenditure as well as long time to change the quality of our atmosphere.Furthermore, the water that one of most important resource we human beings depends on is also polluted due to human activity. Many industrial factories choose to dump waste materials to rivers and streams because the water seems to disappear downstream. When the waste is dumped into downstream, the water in the downstream becomes undrinkable and unavailable for both human and animals. Thus, government should take a series of action: act a law, remove the waste and pure the water.Only in these way can government can effectively deal with the water pollution.

Admittedly, the economic development boosts our living conditions and makes us a better life. We have a great leap in technology, which benefit greatly benefit both our life and work. Our children have the excellent education and health care systems. We have all kinds of entertainment activities to relax ourselves in spare time. All of these contribute to the economic development of a nation. However, compared with environment that we human beings rely on, the progress of economic plays a less important role in human development. Without the good environment, the toxic air may destroy human beings even though we have the most advanced economic development. Therefore, it is no deniable that government should devote all it efforts to protect environment no matter how it cost.

In sum, human activity poses a threat on our environment. It is necessary to take measures to save our environment. Although the economic development facilitates the human’s living condition, it plays a small part compared with the environment problem. So Governments should focus its budgets more on environmental protection than on economic development.

作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-10-30 21:10
Environmental protection and economic development are both of significance for a country. When it comes to whether governments should focus its budgets more on environmental protection than on economic development, different people will hold different opinions based on their different backgrounds. From my point of view, governments (小写） should focus its budgets more on environmental protection than on economic development

Good environment is of prerequisite of human being as well as plants and animals on our planet. To begin with, atmosphere on earth,（这句感觉写的有些散） the environment of our basic living conditions, provides fresh air for human to breath. But air is not polluted （这句没看懂）by modern transportation that burn fossil fuels, which make our air less healthy to breathe. The air pollution also causes the acid rain, which destroys vegetation and building in the ground. To convert this situation, the government has to plant a lot of trees in the surroundings （用surrounding形容词）areas of the city, which needs a large expenditure as well as long （a long） time to change the quality of our atmosphere.Furthermore, the water that one of the most important resource we human beings depends on （感觉这句介词表达方式有问题） is also polluted due to （due to 这么用显得啰嗦） human activity. Many industrial factories choose to dump waste materials to rivers and streams because the water seems to disappear downstream. When the waste is dumped into downstream （这个是adv 用downstream area）, the water in the downstream （adv）becomes undrinkable and unavailable for both human and animals. Thus, government should take a series of action: act （publish）a law, remove the waste and pure the water.Only in these way can （没看懂） government can effectively deal with the water pollution.

Admittedly, the economic development boosts our living conditions and makes us a better life. We have a great leap in technology, which benefit greatly benefit （没看懂）both our life and work. Our children have the excellent education and health care systems. We have all kinds of entertainment activities to relax ourselves in spare time. All of these contribute to the economic development of a nation. However, compared with environment that we human beings rely on, the progress of economic plays a less important role in human development. Without the good environment, the toxic air may destroy human beings even though we have the most advanced economic development. Therefore, it is no deniable that government should devote all it efforts to protect the environment no matter how it cost.

In sum, human activity poses a threat to our environment. It is necessary to take measures to save our environment. Although the economic development facilitates the human's living condition, it plays a small part compared with the environment problem. So governments should focus its budgets more on environmental protection than on economic development.

构思不错，但是小问题比较多，有些用词不准确，有很多语法和逻辑错误导致我没看懂~ 加油吧！

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-10-30 21:15
今天是我改你的吧？？

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-10-30 21:17
The reading passage explores three measures to prevent spread of cane toad in Australia. However, the professor's lecture holds a different opinion that the measures are of not effectiveness.

To begin with, the reading passage suggests that the first measure is to build nation fence. In the contrary, the lecture asserts that it is not effective to build fence since young cane toad and eggs of cane toward usually habitant in rivers and streams. It is the water streams that carry the cane toward from one area to other areas through the fence.

Secondly, the reading passage mentions that cane toad can be captured by volunteers. However, the lecture opposes that the volunteer may not only seize the cane toward but also may cause a threat to native frogs.

Finally, the lecture opposes the reading passage by saying that disease-causing will have a bad effect on American cane toad, the original place to cane toward. The reason is that the cane tord that is infested by virus may be transformed from Australia to American in order to do some research. Thus, the Australia cane toad bring the virus to American cane toward, which will destroy the whole economy. While the lecture believes that disease-causing virus can control the population of cane toad.

作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-10-30 21:43
The reading passage explores three measures to prevent the spread of cane toad in Australia. However, the professor's lecture holds a different opinion that the measures are of not （这个用法值得商榷）effectiveness.(

To begin with, the reading passage suggests that the first measure is to build national fence. In the contrary, the lecture asserts that it is not effective to build a fence since young cane toad and eggs of cane toward the usualhabitat in rivers and streams. It is the water streams that carry the cane toward from one area to other areas through the fence. （最后一句没有正确还原文章意思）

Secondly, the reading passage mentions that cane toad can be captured by volunteers. However, the lecture opposes that the volunteer may not only seize the cane toward but also may cause a threat to native frogs.

Finally, the lecture opposes the reading passage by saying that disease-causing will have a bad effect on American cane toad, the original place to cane toward. The reason is that the cane tord that （两个that看不懂）is infected by the virus （要特指） may be transformed from Australia to American in order to do some research.（原文不是这样说的啊，原文没这样说） Thus, the Australian cane toad bring the virus to American cane toward,（没看懂） which will destroy the whole economy. While the lecture believes that a disease-causing virus can control the population of cane toad.
稍许有些细节没把握好，基本都没听错，加油吧！

作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-30 23:37
等10.30独立。。。

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-10-31 13:03
10.30独立
With thesteady growth in the country's economy as well as the people's livingstandards, vacation severs as poplar way for people to relax themselves fromthe high-pace life. When it comes to the selection to a vacation, differentindividuals will hold different opinions due to their different background.Some people choose good food since well diet guarantee our health condition,which makes us a better energy in the vacation. Others, however, select a goodlocation where the destination lies in to enjoy wonderful scenery. As far as Iam concerned, the most important thing for a vacation is traveling with myfriends.

To begin with, travelingwith my friends, a group of peoplewill save money for us. We can havea considerable discount on tickets, restaurant,hotels and even transportation vehicles.For example, the full ticket of the Forbidden City, the royal resident for emperorin Qing dynasty, is 100 Yuan. While the ticket for group has a 50% discountthat only requires 5o Yuan, which save half money for us. Thus, it is cheaperto travel with our friends when we are traveling.

Another important thing is that traveling with our friends can cement the relationship with ourfriends. Modern people now livein a high-paced and intensive environment, where they suffer from a lot of pressure.Students have to accomplish plenty of assignments every day in order to competefor limited space in prestigious schools. Computer program operators have tosit in front of the screen working for 10 or 12 hours a day. Breadwinners have to work day or night to earn goodsalary to improve their family'sliving conditions. In this situation, people do not have spare time to relaxthemselves, let alone get together with best friends. The trip offers an opportunity for close friends toreunion and enjoys the fantastic time with friends. We can talk about ourlatest experiment, including happiness and depression, or we can make a jokewith each other. All of these make us feel funny and fun. Nothing can comparethe happiness that friends bring.

Last perhaps most importantly, our friends will offer help when weare in trouble during the trip. It is true that we may have a higher chance ofmeeting difficulties when we are out. In this case, we need help or assistant from other people. Forexample, I once traveled to ChangbaiMountain; one of the famous mountains located in Jilin province, where I was sting by a species of fly and then has some red spot on my skin. Fortunatelly,one of my friends has drugs that help me recover. Thanks to my friend, Icould continue to enjoy my trip; otherwise, I might be transported to a hospital to enjoymy vocation.

In sum, traveling with our friends, we will havea more happier and enjoyable trip.

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-10-31 13:34
The reading passage explores the focus that scientist of archaeology confront difficulties and limitations in Britain in twentieth century. The lecture, however, contradicts what the reading passage holds.

First of all, the reading passage points out that many artifacts was destroyed due to construction project. But the professor undermines that the valuble artifacts will be preseved sicne the scientist would identify the value of the artifact before construction project. If the scientist had interest in the artifact, the government and the scientists will make a plan to protect the site.

Furthermore, the reading passage contends that archeology scientists do not gain sufficient financial support to do scientific research. In the contrary, the professor argues that it is structure companies not government that afford the whole expenditure for scientists to do archeology research .

Finally, the professor opposes the reading passage by saying that a large number of scientists were hired to examine the value of the artifacts or do research about the artifacts and then they will report a article about the artifacts. While the reading passage believes that archaeology scientists have a difficult career in Britain in twentieth century.

作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-10-31 21:30
The reading passage explores the focus that scientist of archaeology confront difficulties and limitations in Britain in twentieth century. The lecture, however, contradicts what the reading passage holds.

First of all, the reading passage points out that many artifacts were (复数谓语）destroyed due to construction project. But the professor undermines that the valuable artifacts will be preservedsince the scientist would identify the value of the artifact before construction project. If the scientist had interest in the artifact, the government and the scientists will make a plan to protect the site.

Furthermore, the reading passage contends that archeology scientists do not gain sufficient financial support to do （to do表达方式值得商榷）scientific research. In the contrary, the professor argues that it is structure companies not government that affords the whole expenditure for scientists to do archeology research. （句号问题）

Finally, the professor opposes the reading passage by saying that a large number of scientists were hired to examine the value of the artifacts or do research about the artifacts and then they will report anarticle about the artifacts. （原文貌似不是这样讲的吧，漏了一些细节）While the reading passage believes that archaeology scientists have a difficult career in Britain in twentieth century.

整体结构很不错，表述精炼，感觉你进步好大啊！

作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-11-1 00:24
标题: 10.31 独立改。
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
With the ~~steady~~ sustain growth in the country's economy as well as the people's living standards, vacation severs as +冠词poplar way for people to relax themselves from the high-pace life. When it comes to the selection to a vacation, different individuals will hold different opinions due to their different background. Some people choose good food since well diet guarantees our health condition,which makes us have a better energy in the vacation. Others, however, select a good location where the destination lies in to enjoy wonderful scenery. As far as Iam concerned, the most important thing for a vacation is traveling with my friends.

To begin with, traveling with my friends, a group of people will save money for us. We can have a considerable discount on tickets, restaurant,hotels and even transportation vehicles. For example, the full ticket of the Forbidden City, the royal resident for emperorin Qing dynasty, is 100 Yuan. While the ticket for group has a 50% discountthat only requires 5o Yuan, which save half money for us. Thus, it is cheaperto travel with our friends when we are traveling.

Another important thing is that traveling with our friends can cement ~~the relationship with ourfriends~~ our friendship. Modern people now livein a high-paced and intensive environment, where they suffer from a lot of pressure. Students have to accomplish plenty of assignments every day in order to compete for limited ~~space~~ openings in prestigious schools. Computer program operators have to sit in front of the screen working for 10 or 12 hours a day. Breadwinners have to work day or night to earn good salary to improve their family's living conditions. In this situation, people do not have spare time to relax themselves, let alone get together with best friends. The trip offers an opportunity for close friends to reunion and ~~enjoys~~ to enjoy 【这里如果按你的写法，the trip 是enjoy的主语，但是很明显enjoy的主语应该是close friends才对吧。】 the fantastic time ~~with friends.~~ We can talk about our latest ~~experiment~~ experience, including happiness and depression, or we can make a joke with each other. All of these make us feel funny and fun. Nothing can comparethe happiness that friends bring.

Last perhaps most importantly【。。。有点怪】, our friends will offer help when we are in trouble during the trip. It is true that we may have a higher chance of meeting difficulties when we are out. In this case, we need help or assistant from other people. For example, I once traveled to Changbai Mountain; one of the famous mountains located in Jilin province, where I was sting by a species of fly and then has some red spot on my skin. 【时态问题。】Fortunatelly,one of my friends has drugs that help me recover. Thanks to my friend, I could continue to enjoy my trip; otherwise, I might be transported to a hospital to enjoy my vocation 直接说otherwise my vacation would be spoiled就好了.

In sum, traveling with our friends, we will havea more happier and enjoyable trip.

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-1 16:18
Young people nowadays have no influence of decisions that determine the future of the society as whole.

When it comes to the question whether young people nowadays have no influence of decisions that determine the future of the society as whole, different people will hold different opinions due to their different backgrounds. Some people hold that young people nowadays have no influence of decisions that determine the future of the society as whole since the older people always make important decisions in a nation. Others oppose by saying that young people have fresh ideas that can influence the decisions that older people make. From my point of view, young people nowadays have no influence of decisions that determine the future of the society as whole.

It is undeniable that our government which centralized older persons make most decisions in every nation, How to deal with financial depression, how to cope with the social events, how to resolve the international conflicts, and numerous other things are needed to determine by them. Since they have more experience and therefore always have a deeper understanding of affairs than young people.

However, as a matter of fact, they also demand young people’s advice and absorb the fresh opinions in some times because they are more professional and more creative. Firstly, with the advent of technology epoch, we human beings have a great leap in education. Every child has an opportunity to receive excellent education from an very young age and access to a large number of knowledge. At the meanwhile, the knowledge is accumulated by multiplying and become more and more specialized. One need take more time to be professional in one field than ever before and also have to update the knowledge all the time along with the development of the specific area. No one can be professional in all fields even though she or he may be professional in one area. Thus, older generation need young people offer a large number of professional and fresh views when they are making decisions.

Furthermore, young people are more creative in mind then older leader. As a leader, they arrange affairs in a prearranged route that will reduce their decision faults. In contrast, young people have a large number of creative views that help leader think from different aspects. In addition, the energy that flourished in one younger is endless and many technology inventions are invented by young people. For example, Bill Gates made a astonishing decision of dropping out of Harvard to open Microsoft, which initiate the area of the computer industry.

In sum, although in most times, older people make important decisions for a nation, young people pay an important role in the process. They can provide fresh and creative views for the development of the society.

TPO17
The reading passage explores a focus on the concern about the reduction of birds’ population. The professor in the lecture, howevr, thinks the evidence in the reading passage is not convincing.

Firstly, the reading passage asserts that an increasing number of population and settlements contribute to the reduction of birds’ population. But the professor contradicts this by saying that the government have already provided better and bigger habits for birds, which leads to more birds living in the city.

Secondly, the professor continues saying that agriculture will not reduce the habitats of the birds since there is no enough land for agriculture in USA. Thus, a new species of high- productive crop is invented to meet the requirements of local people. While the reading passage contends that the growth of agriculture accompanied with the bigger size population also influence the decreasing number of birds.

Finally, the reading passage believes that the use of chemical pesticide will harm the bird. However, the professor opposes this based on two reasons. For one thing, one kind of less-toxic pesticide is under developed, which will not do damage to birds in the future. For another thing, one kind of pest-resistant crop is invented and the new crop is not detrimental to birds as well.

作者: amissrosa 时间: 2012-11-1 20:09
10.31獨立改 Young people nowadays have no influence of decisions that determine thefuture of the society as whole.

[第一段]
When it comes tothe question whether young people nowadays have no influence of decisionsthat determine the future of the society as whole[註3], different people willhold different opinions due to their different backgrounds. Some people holdthat young people nowadays have no influence of decisions that determine thefuture of the society as whole since the older people always make importantdecisions in a nation. Others oppose [註1] by saying that young people have fresh ideas that can influence[註2] the decisions that older people make. From my point of view, young people nowadays have no influence ofdecisions that determine the future of the society as whole(版主支持的論點).
[註1] 起初看时不清楚oppose什么?如果能用转折词(ex:However,others believe that..
[註2] 可用effect,降低influence的出现率
[註3] 底線為重複出現題目的長句,不知道會不會影響分數
_________________________________
[第二段]
It is undeniable that our[註1] governmentwhich centralizedolder persons make[註2]most decisions in every nation. [註3]How to deal with financial depression, how to copewith ~~the~~ social events, how to resolve the international conflicts,[註4] andnumerous other things are needed to determine by them. Since they havemore experience and therefore always have a deeper understanding of affairsthan youngpeople[註5] .
[註1]Most,以对应此句中的”inevery nation” 或是将”inevery nation”改成”inthe nation.”
[註2] It’sundeniable that most governments are centralizedby older persons who make…
[註3]For example.连接词,使句与句之间意思更流程
[註4]不太确定How to开头的用法是否可以不用”问号”结尾?以及连三个Howto句型后的and是否也该用how to 以表平行结构?
此外, numerousother things若能形容为”与国家大事相关的事”应该能和下句”年轻人资历浅无法而解决”形成更强烈的对比
[註5]Than young people have.

------------------------------
[第三段]
However, as a matter offact, they[註1] ~~also~~ demand young people’s advice and absorb the (their) fresh (novel) opinions in some times because they (these ideas) are more professional and more creative. Firstly, with the advent of technology epoch,we ~~human beings~~ have a great leap in education. Every child has an opportunity to[註2] receive excellent education from a very young age and access to a large number of knowledge. ~~At the~~ Meanwhile, the knowledge is accumulated ~~by multiplying~~ (accumulate 与multiply意思相近)andbecome more and more specialized.[註3] One needs take more time to be professional in one (a)field than ever before and also ~~have~~ to update the knowledge (varied information) all the time ~~along~~ with the development of the specific area[註4]. No one can be professional in all fields even though she or he may be professional in one area. Thus, older generation need young people offer a large number of professional and fresh views when they are making decisions

[註1]建议可改成”olderpeople”, 表达上会比较清楚
[註2]Mostchildren now are able to….似乎会比较客观且简洁
[註3]为了与下句对比关系更清楚,此句可改成类似↓
“Although, theirknowledge is multiplied, they just learn the general introduction of variedfield.
[註4]Becausethe advance of technology that stimulates rapid development of eachprofessional field
[註5]不知版主此段的目的是否为compromise？若不是的话,最后一句的立场似乎倾向「年轻人可影响社会决定」。
若非compromise,"從"No one"那句開始可改成類似no one can be specialized in aparticular areas, even is elder people. And that is why elder people demandyoung people's advices cannot indicate that the young are able to influence thesocial decisions.以支持版主第一段支持的論點
------------------------------------
[第四段]
Furthermore, young peopleare more creative in mind thanolder leaders[註1] . As a leader, they (the older people) arrange affairs in (by) a prearranged route (others mistakes) ~~that will~~ (to) reduce their decision faults (unexpected faults). In contrast, young people have a large number of creative views that help leader think from different aspects [註2]. In addition, the energy that flourished in one younger is endless and many technology inventions are invented by young people. For example, Bill Gates made a astonishing decision of dropping out of Harvard to open Microsoft, which initiate the area of the computer industry
[註3].

[註1]原句傾向支持[年輕人可影響社會決定],可改成Young people are too unrealistic to carry out useful decisions.
[註2]Although,young people a large number of creative views that may sometimes help senior leaders…较能对比出年轻人和长辈间的差距
[註3]in addition後的句子与版主支持论点相反@@
----------------------------------------------------
[第五段]
In sum, although in mosttimes, older people make important decisions for a nation, young people pay animportant role in the process. They can provide fresh and creative views forthe development of the society.[註1][註1]]与第一段版主支持论点相反@@
----------------------------------------------------------
前辈您好，第一次改您的写作，若有让您不习惯的地方，烦请前辈指正>”<
若修正的地方有误，还请前辈提出，一起学习交流，求进步，谢谢版主

！
2012.11.1 Rosa

作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-11-1 21:55
TPO17The reading passage explores a focus on the concern about the reduction of birds' population. The professor in the lecture, however, thinks the evidence in the reading passage is not convincing.

Firstly, the reading passage asserts that an increasing number of population and settlements (你没讲清楚是人类的settlement） contribute to the reduction of birds' population. But the professor contradicts this by saying that the government has already provided better and bigger habits for birds, which leads ( lead )to more birds living in the city.

Secondly, the professor continues saying that agriculture will not reduce the habitats of the birds since there is（感觉有语病） no enough land for agriculture in USA. Thus, a new species （我记得是讲物种多样化） of high- productive crop is invented to meet the requirements of local people. While the reading passage contends that the growth of agriculture accompanied with the bigger size population （什么population?) also influence the decreasing number of birds.

Finally, the reading passage believes that the use of chemical pesticide will harm the bird. However, the professor opposes this based on two reasons. For one thing, one kind of less-toxic pesticide is under developed, which will not do damage to birds in the future. For another thing, one kind of pest-resistant crop is invented and the new crop is not detrimental to birds as well. (最后一句感觉还是有语病，没表达清楚~）

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-1 22:11
你好认真啊，我也不是前辈，就比你早来几天，恩恩，咱们共同进步，吼吼：）

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-1 22:12
谢谢，可能这那篇写的比较顺手，嘿嘿

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-2 09:53
11.2 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should buy things made in their own country; even the price is higher than same things made somewhere else.

In this day and age, with the steady improvement of people's living standards, an increasing number of people like to buy foreign product due to its cheap price and high quality. When it comes to question whether people should buy things made in their own country or the same things made somewhere else, different people will hold different opinions due to their different backgrounds. Some people believe that citizens should buy local made product since this will support their own countries' economic. Others assert that people should buy foreign made product owing to its low price. From my point of view, i prefer to buy local made product even though it has a high price.

Firstly, local made product makes us save time and energy. We now live in a high-pace and intensive environment， where people suffer from a lot of stress. Students have to work hard for limited places in prestigious schools in order to earn them a promising future. Computer program operators have to sit in front of the screen to accomplish plenty of work for 8 or 10 hours a day. Breadwinners have to work day or night in order to improve their family's living standards. In this situation, modern people have limited time to do things they are fond of and even have no spare time to relax themselves. Therefore, when they need to buy some commodities, they will choose nearby shops rather than the distant shops that can provide export commodities. After all, the export commodities are not available in every shop or supermarket in our country. But we can access to local made commodities everywhere in surroundings even in groceries.

Furthermore, buying local made commodities, you will indirectly help facilitate the economic development in a nation. The very reason is that the local made commodities offer a large number of job positions for local people, such as shop assistance, artificers, and supplies. Then if the products attract increasing customers, more employees will be drawn from local people gradually, and therefore a rapidly growth of people will get a opportunity to work in local industrial. Especially the current situation that a large number of people lose their jobs and the competition to enter a job is fierce. The creative job positions, in addition, will provide considerable income to poor family. With the sufficient income, poor family can send their children to go to excellent high school even college.

Admittedly, the foreign made product may have a high quality, which can better satisfy our need compared with local made products. Besides, it is cheaper than foreign product and save money for us. However, when comparing the advantages and disadvantages, it is not difficult to conclude that local products benefit a country more than foreign product. Thus, it is undeniable that we should buy local made product instead of foreign made product.

In sum, even though the foreign product is cheaper than local product in certain areas, I prefer to buy local product since local made product not only promote the economic development of our country but also bring us convinieness.

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-2 11:00
TPO18
The reading passage explores the focus on three ways to address the decline of Torreya. The lecture, in the contrary, casts doubt on the effectives of the solutions.

To begin with, the first solution in the reading passage is to reestablish Torreya in the same location.The professor, however, thinks it unattainable since microclimate can be influenced by the climate of larger region easily. For example, both the global warming and wetland drying will make the region have a arid climate, which is unsuitable to Torreya's growth.

Furthermore, the reading passage asserts that Torreya could be moved to another different location in order to survive. But the professor contradicts this by explaining that a type of tree once introduced to a new environment. However, they spread out quickly and compete resources with nativevegetation, posing them a threat even at the edge of disappearing.

Finally, the professor opposes the reading passage by saying that research center don not serve as a qualified place to protect Torreya. The reason is that Torreya always need large population growing together in wildness to resist disease but the research center cannot provide sufficient population for Torreya's growth. Thus, they will not live for long time. While the reading passage contends that the research center can protect Torreya well.

作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-11-3 06:08
标题: 11.2 独立改
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

11.2 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should buy things made in their own country; even the price is higher than same things made somewhere else.

In this day and age, with the steady improvement of people's living standards, an increasing number of people like to buy foreign product due to its cheap price and high quality. When it comes to the question that whether people should buy things made in their own country or the same things made somewhere else, different people will hold different opinions due to their different backgrounds. Some people believe that citizens should buy local made product since this will support their own countries' economic. Others assert that people should buy foreign made product owing to its low price. From my point of view, i prefer to buy local made product even though it has a high price.

Firstly, local made product makes us save time and energy. We now live in a high-pace and intensive environment， where people suffer from a lot of stress. Students have to work hard for limited places in prestigious schools in order to earn ~~them~~ a promising future. Computer program operators have to sit in front of the screen to accomplish plenty of work for 8 or 10 hours a day. Breadwinners have to work day or night in order to improve their family's living standards. In this situation, modern people have limited time to do things they are fond of and even have no spare time to relax themselves. Therefore, when they need to buy some commodities, they will choose nearby shops rather than the distant shops that can provide export commodities. After all, the export commodities are not available in every shop or supermarket in our country. But we can access to local made commodities everywhere in surroundings even in groceries.

Furthermore, buying local made commodities, you will indirectly help facilitate the economic development in a nation. The very reason??嘛意思。。。 is that the local made commodities offer a large number of job positions for local people, such as shop assistances, artificers, and supplies. Then if the products attract increasing customers, more employees will be drawn from local people gradually, and therefore a ~~rapidly~~ rapid growth of ~~people~~ population will get a opportunity to work in local industrial. Especially the current situation that a large number of people lose their jobs and the competition to enter a job is fierce. The creative job positions, in addition, will provide considerable income to poor family. With the sufficient income, poor family can send their children to go to excellent high school even college.

Admittedly, the foreign made product may have a high quality, which can better satisfy our need compared with local made products. Besides, it is cheaper than foreign product and save money for us. 这句话逻辑有问题，前面一句是退步说foreign product更符合需求，这一句话怎么就变成了besides 国货更好了。。。However, when comparing the advantages and disadvantages, it is not difficult to conclude that local products benefit a country more than foreign product. Thus, it is undeniable that we should buy local made product instead of foreign made product.

In sum, even though the foreign product is cheaper than local product in certain areas, I prefer to buy local product since local made product not only promote the economic development of our country but also bring us convinieness.
总结：楼主写的很流畅呀。但是有些句子有点逻辑的小错误，可能写晕了。
还有一些三单和冠词用法要注意，可数名词永远都不能不带冠词裸奔的。

作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-11-3 07:03
标题: 11.2 综合改
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The reading passage explores the focus on three ways to address the decline of Torreya.表述有误，是三种解决Torreya die out的方法，而不是三种强调Torreya减产的方法。 The lecture, in the contrary, casts doubt on the effectives of the solutions.

To begin with, the first solution in the reading passage is to reestablish Torreya in the same location.The professor, however, thinks it unattainable since the microclimate can be influenced by the climate of larger region easily. For example, both the global warming and wetland drying will make the region have a arid climate, which is unsuitable to for Torreya's growth.

Furthermore, the reading passage asserts that Torreya could be moved to another different location in order to survive. But the professor contradicts this by explaining ~~that~~ a type of tree once introduced to a new environment. However,这里用however表转折不太恰当。 they spread out quickly and compete resources with native vegetation, posing them a threat even at the edge of disappearing.

Finally, the professor opposes the reading passage by saying that research center do not serve as a qualified place to protect Torreya. The reason is that Torreya always need large population growing together in wildness to resist disease but the research center cannot provide sufficient population for Torreya's growth. Thus, they will not live for long time. While the reading passage contends that the research center can protect Torreya well. 个人认为这句话可以不要。

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-3 21:59
TPO19
The reading passage the buzzing should be banned since the company could pay the buzzer to cheat customers.However, the student casts doubt on what the reading passage holds based on his experience as a buzzer.

First of all, the reading passage holds that the buzzer who praises the product may be paid by company.But the student contradicts this by saying that a buzzer is always be hired after he or she have used the product and then give a good evaluation to the product. Thus, the buzzer does tell truth.

Furthermore, the student opposes the reading passage by saying that the costumer will not only follow the buzzer’s recommend but also consider other factors such as price, service and durance of the product. Obviously, the fact that consumers listen to their endorsements less critically in the reading passage is unconvincing.

Finally, the reading passage assets that the buzzing can destroy social relationship. However, the student believes the statment is definitely not true. The reason is that if the product is of bad quality, the company will not recruit buzzers. The buzzing makes the product open to customers.

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-3 23:53
What is happiness？Different people will hold different answers this question due to their different backgrounds. Some people hold that the more possessions we have, the happier we will be. Others believe that, on the other hand, more possessions may bring more problems. From my point of view, people today would be happier if they had more possessions.

First of all, more possessions can make us live a better life in this day and age. The reason is that, with the steady of the growth of and economic development, our living standards have been greatly changed over past few years and we nowadays need a large income to meet our increasing requirements in all aspects. In this situation, if we have more possessions, we are able to support our family and improve the living conditions of whole family. For example, you can afford your latest fashion clothes in the shop for your wife. You can buy a big house in the suburbs, which provides a good environment for your children’s development. You can also afford your children the best education to send his or her to excellent school. All of these will definitely provide your family live in a high-quality life.

Furthermore, the abundant possessions that you earn by your hard working can bring you a sense of personal satisfaction. Nothing can compare with the happiness that you gain the fruits after you devote your efforts and soul to one thing. When you finish a load of work or promote sales of productions, you will get a good salary or even a bonus. At the meanwhile, you will be happy and successful unconsciously, even though you have spent an exhausted day.

Admittedly, more often than not, more possession may bring you more trouble. For example, a big salary that you earn from your work can afford your family a big house in the suburbs. But it also means that you have to commute from workplace to your home every day. The endless stop-and-go drive two times a day will make you depressed whenever the first day to work or the last. However, when comparing the disadvantages and advantages, we can definitely conclude that possessions benefit our life more. The reason is that our family or our work is more important than the little inconvenience in our life.

In sum, although more possession bring us a little trouble in some times, we need more money to earn a living for our family and make them live a better life in long run. It is undeniable that one’s quantity of possessions can benefit both our family and us. Thus, there’s no doubt that people today would be happier if they had more possessions.

作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-11-4 04:46
标题: TPO 19 改。
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The reading passage 谓语呢？？the buzzing should be banned since the company could pay the buzzer to cheat customers.However, the student casts doubt on what the reading passage holds based on his experience as a buzzer.

First of all, the reading passage holds 前面出现过hold了，可以换词。 that the buzzer who praises the product may be paid by company.But the student contradicts this by saying that a buzzer is always be hired after he or she have used the product and then give a good evaluation to the product. Thus, the buzzer does tell truth.

Furthermore, the student opposes the reading passage by saying that the costumer will not only follow the buzzer’s recommend but also consider other factors such as price, service and durance of the product. Obviously, the fact that consumers listen to their endorsements less critically in the reading passage is unconvincing. 感觉这里的主句说the fact is unconvincing有点奇怪，因为做the fact的宾语从句所说的东西并不是真实的。。。所以我认为不应该用the fact, 而应该用the idea/ point/ ... held in the reading passage

Finally, the reading passage asserts that the buzzing can destroy social relationship. However, the student believes the statment is definitely not true. The reason is that if the product is of bad quality, the company will not recruit buzzers. The buzzing makes the product open to customers.这个点的分析楼主没有写下来。建议重听以后补上。

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-4 14:32
TPO20
The reading passage explores the focus on the three kinds of damage caused by "let it burn" policy. However, the lecture cast doubts on what the reading passage holds.

First of all, the reading passage contends that the fire may cause damage to tress and other vegetation in the park whereas the lecture argues that the fire will not only cause the destruction of certain species but also create new vegetation, leading to a more diversity species. He proves this point by giving two examples. The first example is that the fire offer unshed place for one species of vegetation to grow. The second example is that fire makes species vegetation expose to high level heat and have a higher of chance to survive.

Furthermore, despite the reading passage asserts that park will harm wild life; the professor believes that the fire can recover the forest and offer new opportunities for animals.Then he supports his point with the statement that the fire enables the new grass grow prosperously, which is depened on by small animals like rabbits, and as a result it provide sufficient food for these animals., some of which serves as prey for large predators, therefore resulting in all animal wild life more stronger.

Finally, the reading passage considers that fire make park unavailable to tourists and therefore have a bad effect on local economy. However, the professor opposes this by saying that many factors like strong wind contribute to the massive fire in 1818. The visitors began to visit the park again since the nesx year.

作者: xeyyxzty 时间: 2012-11-4 19:21
What is happiness？Different people will hold different answers to thisquestion due to their different backgrounds. Some people hold that the morepossessions we(个人感觉用they更好哈，后面的也是) have, the happier wewill be. Others believe that, on the other hand, more possessions may bring moreproblems. From my point of view, people todaywould be happier if they had more possessions.

First of all,more possessions can make us live a better life in this day and age（才疏学浅哈，是固定用法吗？求教）. The reason is that,with thesteady of the growth of and economic development（呃~什么意思？）, our living standards have been greatlychanged（personally, improved更好） over past few years and we nowadays needalarge income（确定可以这么用吗？熊熊会保险点直接more money…） to meet our increasing requirements in allaspects. In this situation, if we have more possessions, we are able to supportour family and improve the living conditions of whole family（是不是有一点小罗嗦呢~个人感觉哈）. For example, you can afford your latestfashion clothes in the shop for （afford…for对吗？buy…for wife就好了吧，而且your clothes是什么逻辑？不懂）your wife. You can buya big house in the suburbs, which provides agood environment for your children’s development. You can also afford yourchildren the best education to send hisàhim or her(貌似them更好，前面就是复数呀) toexcellent school. All of these will definitely provide your family ~~live in~~ ahigh-quality life.

Furthermore, the abundant possessions that you earn by yourhard work~~ing~~ can bring you a sense of personal satisfaction. Nothing can comparewith the happiness that you gain the fruits（凌乱了~什么意思） after you devote your efforts and soul to one thing. When you finish aload of work or promote sales of productions, you will get a good salary oreven a bonus. At the meanwhile, you will be happy and successful unconsciously,even though you have spent an exhausted day.

Admittedly, more often thannot, more possession may bring you more trouble. For example, a big salary that you earn from your work（个人感觉这句话没什么实际意义吧，感觉删除不影响） can afford your family a big house in the suburbs（不理解为什么两次强调suburbs~）. But it also meansthat you have to commute from workplace to your home every day. The endlessstop-and-go drive two times a day will make you depressed whenever the firstday to work or the last. However, when comparing the disadvantages andadvantages, we can definitely conclude that possessions benefit our life more.The reason is that our family or our work is more important than the littleinconvenience in our life.

In sum, although more possessions bring us a littletrouble in some times, we need more money to earn a living for our family andmake them live a better life in long run. It is undeniable that one’s quantityof possessions can benefit both our family and us. Thus, there’s no doubt that people today would be happier if they had more possessions.

个人感觉就是你说话感觉有点小罗嗦~有的时候很obvious的东西为什么要说明呢？
有的用法有错误~也许熊熊才疏学浅哈，不太了解...那就忽略我吧

熊熊一直羡慕能写出好多词的人

加油~

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-5 08:54
TPO21
The reading passage explores a focus on the issue of benefits genetically modified trees. However, the lecture cast doubts on what the reading passage holds.

Firstly, the reading passage asserts that genetically modified trees are hardier that nature trees whereas the lecture contends that genetically modified trees that resist only one species pest will not ensure their survival. The reason is that the ability of genetically modified trees to resist disaster is uniform only when the environment is designed in the prearrange route. But if other factors such as climate or pest break out, they will completely wipe out.

Furthermore, despite the statement in the reading passage that genetically modified trees will bring famers economic benefit, the professor asserts that it costs more for farmers to grow genetically modified trees. Then she supports this point by saying that genetically modified trees company charge for seeds of genetically modified trees. In addition, farmers must pay company every time when they plant the trees.

Finally, the reading passage considers that the use of genetically modified trees will prevent the overexploitation of mild trees. However, the professor contradicts this by saying that genetically modified tree is vey aggressive and they can compete resources such as sunlight, water and nutrients with wild trees, posing them in a danger.

作者: Crystal的秋天 时间: 2012-11-5 10:24
The reading passage explores the focus on the three kindsof damage caused by "let it burn" policy. However, the lecture castdoubts on what the reading passage holds.
First of all, the reading passage contends that the fire may cause damage totress and other vegetation in the park whereas the lecture argues that the firewill not only cause the destruction of certain species but also create newvegetation, (表达有误，应该是不会造成damage，语意反了)leadingto a more diversity species. He proves this point by giving two examples. Thefirst example is that the fire offer unshed place for one species of vegetationto grow. The second example is that fire makes species vegetation expose tohigh level heat and have a higher of chance to survive.
Furthermore, despite the reading passage asserts that park will harm wild life;the professor believes that the fire can recover the forest and offer newopportunities for animals. Then he supports his point with the statement thatthe fire enables the new grass grow prosperously, which is depended on by smallanimals like rabbits(depend 主动形式更常见吧，换成which smallanimals depends on更清晰), and as a result it providesufficient food for these animals., some of which serves as prey for largepredators, therefore resulting in all animal wild life more stronger.（是 food chain更stronger, 好像和wildlife更stronger不太一样）
Finally, the reading passage considers that fire make park unavailable totourists and therefore have a bad effect on local economy. However, theprofessor opposes this by saying that many factors like strong wind contributeto the massive fire in 1818. （语意表达不完整，这段更强调的是unusual, 而不是这些factors）Thevisitors began to visit the park again since the next year.

最后最好能加个总结，如果时间允许。语言没有特别大问题，需要加强听力的准确性，我也有这个问题，共勉！
The reading passage explores the focus on the three kindsof damage caused by "let it burn" policy. However, the lecture castdoubts on what the reading passage holds.First of all, the reading passage contends that the fire may cause damage totress and other vegetation in the park whereas the lecture argues that the firewill not only cause the destruction of certain species but also create newvegetation, (表达有误，应该是不会造成damage，语意反了)leadingto a more diversity species. He proves this point by giving two examples. Thefirst example is that the fire offer unshed place for one species of vegetationto grow. The second example is that fire makes species vegetation expose tohigh level heat and have a higher of chance to survive.
Furthermore, despite the reading passage asserts that park will harm wild life;the professor believes that the fire can recover the forest and offer newopportunities for animals. Then he supports his point with the statement thatthe fire enables the new grass grow prosperously, which is depended on by smallanimals like rabbits(depend 主动形式更常见吧，换成which smallanimals depends on更清晰), and as a result it providesufficient food for these animals., some of which serves as prey for largepredators, therefore resulting in all animal wild life more stronger.（是 food chain更stronger, 好像和wildlife更stronger不太一样）
Finally, the reading passage considers that fire make park unavailable totourists and therefore have a bad effect on local economy. However, theprofessor opposes this by saying that many factors like strong wind contributeto the massive fire in 1818. （语意表达不完整，这段更强调的是unusual, 而不是这些factors）Thevisitors began to visit the park again since the next year.

最后最好能加个总结，如果时间允许。语言没有特别大问题，需要加强听力的准确性，我也有这个问题，共勉！另外单复数再注意一下，在word里面有改到，粘贴过来好像自动修正了

作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-11-6 01:12
标题: TPO 21 改
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The reading passage explores a focus 之前没见过这样的表达，楼主能给点参考吗？on the issue of benefits genetically modified trees. However, the lecture cast doubts on what the reading passage holds.建议在这里把lecturer的观点叙述一下。不过不是大问题。

Firstly, the reading passage asserts that genetically modified trees are hardier than nature trees whereas the lecture contends that genetically modified trees that resist only one species pest will not ensure their survival.【这里THAT 引导的从句成分残缺哦，要加主语主语，或者改成which啦。】 The reason is that the ability of genetically modified trees to resist disaster is uniform【感觉这句话说得有点别扭，我试着改了下，你看O不O. the gene is designed to be uniform so that GM trees cannot resist the unexpected disasters.】 only when the environment is designed in the prearrange route. But if other factors such as climate or pest break out, they will completely wipe out.

Furthermore, despite the statement in the reading passage that genetically modified trees will bring famers economic benefit, the professor asserts that it costs more for farmers to grow genetically modified trees. Then she supports this point by saying that genetically modified trees company charge for seeds of genetically modified trees. In addition, farmers must pay company every time when they plant the trees. 还有一个例子是直接承接上面的原因的，就是一旦GM遇上不是程序内的灾害，农民的损害更是大大滴。

Finally, the reading passage considers that the use of genetically modified trees will prevent the overexploitation of mild trees. However, the professor contradicts this by saying that genetically modified tree is vey aggressive and they can compete resources such as sunlight, water and nutrients with wild trees, posing them in a danger.

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-6 13:07
谢谢ecec的修改，嘿嘿，那个explore a focus就是我从网上扒的一个模板，嘿嘿，总觉着写一个词有点干吧，也不知道对不对@@

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-6 13:07
TPO22
The reading passage explores the focus on the issue that the ethanol is not a good replacement. However, the lecture casts doubt on what the reading passage holds.

Firstly, the reading passage suggests that ethanol release carbon oxide in to atmosphere as much as the gasoline do, which also contributes to the extent of global warming whereas the lecture asserts that the ethanol can counteract the amount of carbon dioxide though it also release carbon dioxide in to atmosphere. The reason is that the carbon dioxide provides nutriments for the corn, one of raw material producing ethanol, and therefore the carbon dioxide released from burning ethanol can be removed from atmosphere.

Furthermore, the reading passage contends that the production of ethanol will decrease the amount of plants available to animals. However, the professor contradicts this by saying that the part of plant made into ethanol are always not be eaten by animals. Obviously, the production of ethanol will not extinct the food source of animals.

Finally, despite the statement in the reading passage that the price of ethanol will not compete with the price of gasoline due to the subsidy from government, the professor points out that government offer tax subsidy only when needed.

She then supports her view by saying that after the production of ethanol goes up; the price of ethanol will cut down.

作者: 正儿八经潜水 时间: 2012-11-7 21:32
11.6.TPO22综合修改
The reading passage explores the focus on the issue that the ethanol is not a good replacement. However, the lecture casts doubt on what the reading passage holds.

Firstly, the reading passage suggests that ethanol releases carbon oxide into atmosphere as much as the gasoline does, which also contributes to the extent of global warming whereas the lecture asserts that the ethanol can counteract the amount of carbon dioxide though it also releases carbon dioxide into atmosphere.The reason is that the carbon dioxide provides nutriments for the corn, one of raw material producing(that can be used to produce)ethanol, and therefore the carbon dioxide released from burning ethanol can be removed from atmosphere.
Furthermore, the reading passage contends that the production of ethanol will decrease the amount of plants available to animals. However, the professor contradicts this by saying that the part of plant made into ethanol are always not be eaten by animals. Obviously, the production of ethanol will not extinct the food source of animals.

Finally, despite the statement in the reading passage that the price of ethanol will not compete with the price of gasoline due to the subsidy from government, the professor points out that government offer tax subsidy only when needed. She then supports her view by saying that after the production of ethanol goes up, the price of ethanol will cut down.

注意长短句相结合

作者: 我把托福踩脚下 时间: 2012-11-8 12:58
等你7号的独立哦

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-8 14:10
11.7独立
colleges or universities should offer students a better job preparation before they start working？

In recent years there is a general trend that many colleges or universities offer abundant job preparation opportunities for students in order to provide a better promising future for students. However, some people argue that work preparation like internship may disturb students' study. As far as i am concerned, colleges or universities should offer students a better job preparation before they start working

Admittedly, if students are required to prepare for job such as intership in the campus, which must occupy their study's time, they will pend less time on study, therefore contributing to a bad academic performance in the final exams. In addition, the school is a place to study and it provide a large number of resources and knowledge for students. Students can learn almost everything in the class or the library, as long as you acquire the basic learning and reading abilities. After you graduate from college, nevertheless, you will hardly have a chance to access to so much adequate resources. Thus, students should grasp the time of studying in the colleges and universities, which plays an essential role for the future career, rather than internship advancely.

Although i agree that there may be a couple of disadvantages of job preparation, the advantages carry more weigh than those of disadvantages. The main reason for my propensity for preparing for a job is that nowadays a large number of undergraduate students can not find jobs when they graduate from colleges. According to the survey conducted by Tessass Data, a statistic organization, 40% undergraduate students in china can not search a job or a qualified job after graduateing from colleges. The reason is that what student study in the class and acquire the ability in the campus can not satisfy the requirements of companies and employer. In this situation, the university should not only teach the academic knowledge to students but also let them access to job experience as early as possible. Only in this way will they have a higher chance of getting a content job in the future.

Furthermore, what is worth noticing is that the competence to enter good companies is fierce in this day and age even though we have both well academic background and work experience. What the companies want is the person who can combine the knowledge and reality. So university is needed to undertake the responsibilities to cultivate well-grounded student. For example, the university can provide a large number of work positions for student in order to improve their interpersonal and communication skills, which is important for their future career in the developing society. The university can also open some courses like job direction, which will let students figure out the employ situation more directly and improve their own abilities in all aspects, therefore increasing their possibilities to enter famous companies like top 500 after they graduate from school.

In sum, due to the above statement, the most obvious conclusion is that colleges or universities should offer students a better job preparation before they graduate.

作者: amissrosa 时间: 2012-11-8 18:48
樓主您好~等樓主的綜合喔~

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-8 19:03
The readingpassage explores the focus on the issue of three explanations to the decline ofyeallow ceder population.
However, thelecture casts doubt on what the reading passage holds.

Firstly, thereading passage contends that cedar bark beetle leads to the reduction ofyeallow ceder population whereas the lecture suggests that the beetle is notconsider the reason the reduction of yeallow ceder population since yeallowceder are more able to resist insect parasites than other trees. Then hesupports this point by saying that yeallow ceder have the ability toconcentrate power chemical which will release a kind of poison, posing thebeetle in danger.
Furthermore,despite the statement in the reading passgae that brown bears contribute to thedecline of yeallow ceder population, the professor considers that the statementis difinitely not true. The reason is that there are no bears in the island andthe number of bears on mainland is also cut down sharply. Therefore, theyeallow ceder trees that grow up in these places would suffer less or even noattack from bears.

Finally, thereading passage asserts that the change of climate may result in the reductionof yeallow ceder population. However, the professor objects this by saying thatthe environment that is consisted by low level and high temperature is not thecause of decreasing population yeallow ceder since only in the oppositesituation will the yeallow ceder be killed.

作者: amissrosa 时间: 2012-11-8 20:24
11.7綜合改 TPO23
橘色为建议红色为错字

The reading passage [注1]~~explores the~~ focus on ~~the issue of~~ three explanations to the decline of yeallow cedar population. However,the lecture casts doubt on what the reading passage holds.
[注1] explores the focus on 有些累赘,用focus即可,意思相同
Firstly, the reading passage contends that cedar bark beetle leads tothe reduction of yellow cedar population whereas the lecture suggests that the beetle is not considered the reason which causes the reduction of yellowcedar population since yellow cedar are ~~more~~ able to resist insectparasites than other trees. Then, he supports this point by saying that yellow cedar haves the ability to concentrate power chemical which will release a kind ofpoison, posing the beetle in danger.

Furthermore, despitethe statement in the reading ~~passgae~~ (passage) that brown bears contribute to the decline of yellow cedar population,the professor considers that the statement is ~~difinitely~~ (definitely) not true. Thereason is that there are no bears in the island and the number of bears onmainland is also cut down sharply. Therefore, the yellow cedar trees that growup in these places would suffer less or even no being attacked ~~from~~ (by) bears.

Finally, the reading passage asserts that the change of climate mayresult in the reduction of yellow cedar population. However, the professorobjects this by saying that the environment ~~that is~~ consisted by low ~~level~~ and hightemperature is not the cause of decreasing population of yellow cedar since only in the opposite situationwill the yellow cedar be killed(此段建议板主可清楚叙述在相对比较温暖的低纬度地区反而较多死掉的yellow cedars.这样rater就知道writer有清楚听见细节).
文章里的yellow都拼成yeallow, cedar也拼成ceder~感觉板主今天写得很匆忙~所以我就不用红字标示了~版主今天辛苦啦!

作者: 我把托福踩脚下 时间: 2012-11-9 07:21
11.7独立
colleges or universities should offer students a better job preparation before they start working？

In删 recent years there is a general trend that many colleges or universities offer abundant job preparation opportunities for students in order to provide a better promising future for students. (首句翻译的痕迹太重了，job preparation 就行了，不要“机会”)However, some people argue that work preparation like internship may disturb students' study.（intern一般都是在暑假，平时是没有的）As far as i am concerned, colleges or universities should offer students a better job preparation before they start working

Admittedly, if students are required (intern一般是学生自己争取的，不会被require)to prepare for job such as intership in the campus,改on campuswhich must occupy their study's time, they will spend less time on study, therefore contributing to 删去a bad academic performance in the （to）final exams. In addition, the school is a place to study andand 不能连接两个完整的句子it provides a large number of resources and knowledge for students. Students can learn almost everything at in the class or the library, as long as you acquire the basic learning and reading abilities. After you graduate from college, nevertheless, you will hardly have a chance to access to so much adequate resources. Thus, students should grasp the time of studying in the colleges and universities, which plays an essential role for the future career, rather than internship advancely in advance. .

Although i agree that there may be a couple of disadvantages of job preparation, the advantages carry more weigh than those of disadvantages. The main reason for my propensity for preparing for a job is that nowadays a large number of undergraduate students cannot find jobs when they graduate from colleges. According to the survey conducted by Tessass Data, a statistic organization, 40% undergraduate students in china cannot search a job or a qualified job after graduateinggraduating from colleges. What the reason is that The reason is that what student study in the class and acquire the ability in the campus can not satisfy the requirements of companies and employer. In this situation, the university should not only teach the academic knowledge to students but also let them access to job experience as early as possible. Only in this way will they have a higher chance of getting a content job in the future倒装用得不错。

Furthermore, what is worth noticing is that the competence to enter good companies（再斟酌一下，表达方式不对）is fierce in this day ?and age even though we have both well academic background and work experience. What the companies want is the person who can combine the knowledge and reality. So university is needed to undertake the responsibilities to cultivate well-grounded 好词student. For example, the university can provide a large number of work positions是指学校内部的工作机会还是指学校胃学生提供一些工作机会的资源)for student in order to improve their interpersonal and communication skills, which is important for their future career in the developing society. The university can also open some courses like job direction, which will let students figure out the employ situation more directly and improve their own abilities in all aspects, therefore increasing their possibilities to enter famous companies like top 500 after they graduate from school.

In sum, due to the above statement, the most obvious conclusion is that colleges or universities should offer students a better job preparation before they graduate.
总结一下，
全文逻辑还不够清楚，不要试图去翻译中文，尝试去表达英文。
介词使用注意一下
尾段总结的字数不够
另外给个小小的建议：楼主迟交作业后，
请给修改你作文的筒子发个站内短信吧。

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-9 11:56
谢谢你的修改，实在不好意思啦，昨天有点忙，嘿嘿，还有就是你提到的逻辑，确实是我的硬伤，能不能再具体详细指导我一下呢？嘿@@

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-9 11:57
总结一下，
全文逻辑还不够清楚，不要试图去翻译中文，尝试去表达英文。
介词使用注意一下
尾段总结的字数不够
另外给个小小的建议：楼主迟交作业后，
请给修改你作文的筒子发个站内短信吧。

-- by 会员我把托福踩脚下 (2012/11/9 7:21:54)

[/quote]
谢谢你的修改，实在不好意思啦，昨天有点忙，嘿嘿，还有就是你提到的逻辑，确实是我的硬伤，能不能再具体详细指导我一下呢？嘿@@

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-9 13:56
11.8 People are more easier to become educated than in the past
Education plays an essential role in one's life. When it comes to the issue whether modern people are more easier to be educated than ancient people, different people will hold different views due to their different backgrounds. Some people claim that modern students are more difficult to become educated than in the past since they are confronted of more entertainment that distract their focus on study, while others contend that modern society provide a better study environment for modern students than in the past. From my point of view, I agree with the author's assertion in general. However, the author explores the assertion to a irreversible extreme while ingrowing other factors which also influence the issue.

On the one hand, I have to point out that precious students are easier to be educated since there are more entertainments in modern society that may distract the students' focus on study than in the past. There are movie thearter for students to go to watch the latest movies. There are parks for students to enjoy the beautiful scenery. There are a variety of restaurants for students to taste delicious food. However, if you live in the past, there is no entertainment to relax, what you can only do is to study. Obviously, previous students spend more time on study and are more easier to be educated.

On the other hand, a more rational and considerable judgement is need to consider different aspects of the issue as adequately as possible. Firstly, what is worth noticing is that modern students have more knowledge accumulation than students in the past and therefore reduce the burdens of teachers, making easier education possible. The reason is that nowadays the competence to enter excellent schools is fierce. Students suffer from a lot of stress and pressure from parents and society. From a very young age, they have to work hard for limited space in the prestigious schools in order to earn them a promising future. In this situation, they have to face more assignments and knowledge than students with the same age in the past. As a result, when imparted the same knowledge, they will accept them more quickly and have a deeper understanding of the knowledge.

Furthermore, what strikes me most is that students living in contemporary age have a higher chance to be educated because with the steady development of technology, our economic as well as education system have been greatly improved. In the past, families were often so poor that they did not afford all of their children to go to schools. The schools were of low quality. While in this day and age there are better resources and facilities available for modern students than previous times. A large number of shcools has their own library and sports gym which provide a well environment for students both study and exercise. In library, students can easily access to a massive information and books they need in order to study or do further research. The development of technology also benefits students' study since the Internet also provide abundant information for students to look for materials. Therefore, previous students are harder to become education due to limited conditions.

In sum, by taking into account all these factors discussed above, we may sagely arrive at the consideration that modern technology make students more easily access to adequate study materials whereas previous environment make students more exposure to concentration analysis.

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-9 14:44
The lecture is skeptical about the statement in the reading passage that the presence of three materials prove remains of actual tissues of the T.rex. The professor suggests that the reasoning is unconvincing.

Firstly, the reading passage contends that the presence of soft substance represents the remains of actual blood vessels of T.rex, whereas the professor points out that it is definitely not true. She then proves her point by saying that after the animals died, the bacteria colonize the bones of animals. Thus, the substance may be the materials that bacteria left when it reside in the animals.

Furthermore, despite the statement in the reading passage that spheres provide evidence to the existence of remains of actual read blood cells, the professor argues that the statement is questionable. The reason is that if primitive animals which found in the same place with T.rex did not have red blood cells, they did not remain spheres. The materials must be other agents existing such as pieces mineral.

Finally, the reading passage asserts that the presence of collagen can prove the remains of actual collagen matrix. However, the professor contradicts this by saying that till now we can not find fossils that are older than 150 hundred years ago while the the collagen lasted for more than 1000 thousand years ago, so the conclusion must be false. The materials probablly come from human skin.

In sum, points in the lecture contrasts with the reading passage. It demonstrates the reading passage in doubt.

作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-11-9 21:43
11.8 People are more easier to become educated than in the past

Education plays an essential role in one's life. When it comes to the issue whether modern people are more easier to be educated than ancient people, different people will hold different views due to their different backgrounds. Some people claim that modern students are more difficult to become educated than in the past since they are confronted of more entertainment that distract their focus on study, (我感覺是寫受教育的機會吧，而不是改造一個人）while others contend that modern society provides a better study environment for modern students than in the past. From my point of view, I agree with the author's assertion in general. However, the author explores the assertion to an irreversible extreme while ingrowing other factors which also influence the issue.

On the one hand, I have to point out that previous students （是以前的student吧）are easier to be educated since there are more entertainments in modern society that may distract the students' focus on the study than in the past. Thereis（用are後面+theaters）movie theaterfor students to go to watch the latest movies. There are parks for students to enjoy the beautiful scenery. There are a variety of restaurants for students to taste delicious food. However, if you lived in the past, there is no entertainment to relax, what you can only do is to study. Obviously, previous students spend more time on the study（或者studying）and are more easier to be educated.

On the other hand, a more rational and considerable judgement is needed to consider (感覺缺少連詞） different aspects of the issue as adequately as possible. Firstly, what is worth noticing is that modern students have more knowledge accumulation （have accumulated much more knowledge，你這個knowledge accumulation貌似有些chinglish）than students in the past and therefore reduce the burdens of teachers, making easier education possible （表達chinglish）. The reason is that nowadays the competence to enter excellent schools is fierce. Students suffer from a lot of stress and pressure from parents and society. From a very young age, they have to work hard for limited space in the prestigious schools in order to earn them a promising future. In this situation, they have to face more assignments and knowledge than students with the same age in the past. As a result, when imparted the same knowledge, they will accept them more quickly and have a deeper understanding of the knowledge. (最後一段不知是何意思）

Furthermore, what strikes me most is that students living in the contemporary age have a higher chance to be educated because with the steady development of technology, our economic as well as education system have been greatly improved. In the past, families were often so poor that they did not （cannot） afford all of their children to go to schools. The schools were of low quality（chinglish）. While in this day and age there are better resources and facilities available for modern students than previous times. A large number of schoolshave their own library and sports gym which provide a well environment for students to both study and exercise. In library, students can easily access to a massive information and books they need in order to study or do further research. The development of technology also benefits students' study since the Internet also provide （provided）abundant information for students to look for materials. Therefore, previous students are harder to become education due to limited conditions.

In sum, by taking into account all these factors discussed above, we may sagely arrive at the consideration that modern technology make students more easily access to adequate study materials whereas previous environment make students more exposure to concentration analysis.

作者: 我把托福踩脚下 时间: 2012-11-10 11:52
The lecture is skeptical about the statement in the reading passage that the presence of three materials prove (三人称单数) remains of actual tissues of the T.rex. The professor suggests that the reasoning is unconvincing.

Firstly, the reading passage contends that the presence of soft substance represents the remains of actual blood vessels of T.rex, whereas the professor points out that it is definitely not true. She then proves her point by saying that after the animals died, the bacteria colonize the bones of animals. Thus, the substance may be the materials that bacteria left when it reside（要么用过去，要么用三人称单数） in the animals.

Furthermore, despite the statement in the reading passage that spheres provide evidence to the existence of remains of actual read blood cells, the professor argues that the statement is questionable. The reason is that if primitive animals which （被动）found in the same place with T.rex did not have red blood cells, they did not remain spheres. The materials must be other agents existing such as pieces mineral.

Finally, the reading passage asserts that the presence of collagen can prove the remains of actual collagen matrix. However, the professor contradicts this by saying that till now we can not find fossils that are older than 150 hundred years ago （older和ago选一个用） while the the collagen lasted for more than 1000 thousand years ago, so the conclusion must be false. The materials probablly come from human skin.

In sum, ？points in the lecture contrasts with the reading passage. It demonstrates the reading passage in doubt.

注意一下简单的语法问题
独立文章我也没什么好idea，就是多写吧，从量变到质变。

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-10 13:19
11.9 spending money on traving＆vacation vs. saving for furture

Money plays an important role in our life. Although the money is not a penecea, it is true that we can use money to satisfy many basic living repuirements. Braodly speaking, there are two kinds of consumption concept. One is that people should spend money rather than save to do some intererting or meaningful things as soon as possible. Another is about traditional view that people should save money they earn in order to deal with emergencies happening in the future. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the author’s one of assertion that people should save money for forture in general. However, the author explores the assertion into an irreversible extreme while overlooks other factors which also influnce the issue.

On the one hand, I agree with the point that people should save money for future since no one would predict whether there are some emergencies wating for us. What we must do is to prepare money for the future as much as possible. Otherwise, when we meet some emergencies such as fatal diseases or traffic accidents, we will not afford the expense of thrapy and medicine care. Moreover, the accumulated money can also be used in all kinds of aspects of our life, which improves our basic living standards. For example, you can buy a big house in the suburbs, which will provide a well environment for you parents’ health as well as children’s development. You can also send your children to go to the excellent school in order to earn them a promising future.

On the other hand, a more rational and accurate judgment need to incorporate different aspects of the isuee as adequately as possible. First of all, I have to point out that health is more important than money. It is the fact that modern people now live in a high-paced and intensive environment and they suffer from a lot of presure from study and work. Employees have to sit in front of the screen for 8 or 10 hours a day to accomplish a massive number of workloads. Even students, they have to work hard for limited space in prestigious schools. There is no doubt that they don not have time to relax themselves, let alone do exercise, which will delepte their health. Thus, people repuire rest and the vacation exactly provides a opportunity for them to relieve pressure, which will also make union with family possible. When you smell the flowers and grass and hear the songs of birds in the natual, you will set aside all of your bothers and burdens for you realize nothing is more important than family and pleasure.

Furthermore, what is worth noticing is that the tourism can help local economy. The tourism sites offer local residents job positions such as sevicers that ensure the basic income of these family. Besides, if the tourism runs well, an increasing number of people will visit the site, which will accrodingly attract more commercial business to invest in this region. This will no doubt promote the local economic development.

In sum, by taking into account all these factors dicussed above, we may safely arive at the conclusion that people should not only save money but also spend money on certain worth things like vacation. Therefore, they will find a good balance between life and work.

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-10 13:26
TPO25

The lecture is skeptica about the point in the reading passge that vesssel may be used as electric batteries in ancient times. The professor argues the evidence in the reading passage is unconvicing.

Firstly, the reading passage contends that there are no metal mires found near vessels proving that vessels are regard as electric batteries. However, the professor believes that it is definitely not true. Then she surpports her point by saying that the material plays an less important role for local people rather than archeologists and they probably throw them away after using it.

Furthermore, the professor objects the point in the reading passage by saying that it will certifify nothing even though the copper cylinders found in Sel are used by holding scrolls. The reason is that the copper might be designed to hold scrolls, but later it would be used to gather sunlight, which means the original desination is adopted into another utility. Obviously, the lecture contradicts what the reading passage says.

Finally, the reading passage holds that the vessel is useless since there is no devices to operate it in anciet times, whereas the professore suggests that the vessel truly has more than one function. The first function is that it can produce magic power when people touch it. The second function is that ancient doctors can use it to cure pain or various diseases.

In sum, the points in the lecture contrastes with the points in the reading passages. The professore demonstratres the reading passage in doubt.

作者: SophieS123 时间: 2012-11-10 16:03
11.9 spending money on traving＆vacation vs. saving for furture

Money plays an important role in our life. Although the money is not a penecea, it is true that we can use money to satisfy many basic living repuirements. Broadly speaking, there are two kinds of consumption concept. One is that people should spend money rather than save to do some intererting or meaningful things as soon as possible. Another is about traditional view that people should save money they earn in order to deal with emergencies happening in the future. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the author’s one of assertion that people should save money for forture in general. However, the author explores the assertion into an irreversible extreme while overlooks other factors which also influnce the issue.

On the one hand, I agree with the point that people should save money for future since no one would predict whether there are some emergencies waiting for us. What we must do is to prepare money for the future as much as possible. Otherwise, when we meet some emergencies such as fatal diseases or traffic accidents, we will not afford the expense of thrapy and medicine(medical) care. Moreover, the accumulated money can also be used in all kinds of aspects of our life, which improves our basic living standards. For example, you can buy a big house in the suburbs, which will provide a well(合适吗） environment for you parents’ health as well as children’s development. You can also send your children to go to the excellent school in order to earn them a promising future.

On the other hand, a more rational and accurate judgment need to incorporate different aspects of the isuee as adequately as possible. First of all（只有first of all, 然后没下文了……）, I have to point out that health is more important than money. It is the fact that modern people now live in a high-paced and intensive environment and they suffer from a lot of presure from study and work. Employees have to sit in front of the screen for 8 or 10 hours a day to accomplish a massive number of workloads. Even students, they have to work hard for limited space in prestigious schools. There is no doubt that they don not have time to relax themselves, let alone do exercise, which will deplete their health. Thus, people repuire rest and the vacation exactly provides an opportunity for them to relieve pressure, which will also make union(好像用在这里不太合适） with family possible. When you smell the flowers and grass and hear the songs of birds in the natual（nature), you will set aside all of your bothers and burdens for you realize nothing is more important than family and pleasure.

Furthermore, what is worth noticing is that the tourism can help local economy. The tourism sites offer local residents job positions such as sevicers that ensure the basic income of these family. Besides, if the tourism runs well, an increasing number of people will visit the site, which will accrodingly attract more commercial business to invest in this region. This will no doubt promote the local economic development.

In sum, by taking into account all these factors dicussed above, we may safely arive at the conclusion that people should not only save money but also spend money on certain worth things like vacation. Therefore, they will find a good balance between life and work.

文章有一些语法的错误，我顺手改了一部分……很多短语和用词很值得学习~但是第三个观点好像跑题了……这种折衷的观点非常不好写啊呵呵……给我的感觉有点别扭……
以上为个人观点，说得不好不要太介意哈~

作者: lizchang1990 时间: 2012-11-10 19:14
TPO25

The lecture is skeptica(小错误拼写,还有skeptical 是一个形容词,你直接用suspects,不要is) about the point in the reading passge (小错误)that vesssel （小错误哦vessel）may be used as electric batteries in ancient times. The professor argues the evidence in the reading passage is unconvicing. (小错误哦unconvincing)你这句是病句,一句出现两个位于动词:argue/is, 建议用argues that来补救.

Firstly,(美国人其实很少用这个词,一般直接说first, 当然你没错,我建议地道点用哦~) the reading passage contends that there are no metal mires found near vessels proving that vessels are regard as electric batteries(这句你从句套从句,建议简化哦~用to prove vessels…). However, the professor believes that it is definitely not true. Then she surpports(小错误) her point by saying that the material plays an less important role for local people rather than archeologists and they probably throw them away after using it.

Furthermore, the professor objects the point in the reading passage by saying that (你第二次用by saying that,建议换词)it will certifify (小错误)nothing even though the copper cylinders found in Sel(小错误) are used by holding scrolls. The reason is that the copper might be designed to hold scrolls, but later it would be used to gather sunlight, which means the original desination (小错误)is adopted into another utility. Obviously, the lecture contradicts what the reading passage says.

Finally, the reading passage holds that the vessel is useless since there is no devices to operate it in anciet(小错误) times, whereas the professore (小错误)suggests that the vessel truly has more than one function. The first function is that it can produce magic power when people touch it. The second function is that ancient doctors can use it to cure pain or various diseases.(这段表达不错,简练清晰)

In sum, the points in the lecture contrastes(小错误) with the points in the reading passages. The professore(小错误) demonstratres (小错误)the reading passage in doubt.

亲,小错误偏多了点哦,注意下就好.
还有就是能用简单句就不要把句式弄得复杂,以免意思表达受到影响.
总体说听力部分写得不错,是亮点~

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-11 10:39
The lecture and the reading passage held opposite opinions toward whether the ancient vessels that found in Iraq could prove ancient people use electric batteries. However, the professor illustrated that the equipment was applied as ancient electric batteries.

The reading mentioned that if such vessels were used as batteries, there would be some metal wires near the vessels. The speaker contradicted this point by saying that these devices were found（这个词用的不太准确，听力是想强调mw对于farmer的价值没有archaeologist大，所以throw away了，建议再仔细听下） by local residents not archaeologist, maybe inhabitants had used the original equipment but the archaeologist overlooked.

In addition, regarding the second argument the reading materials claimed, that the copper cylinders inside the jars looked like those copper tools in Seleucia and had the same use, was also rejected by the lecturer. He demonstrated that no evidence（evidence被证明哈？）was provided（proved） that the shape of original scrolls, the same shape was not necessary for the identical purpose.(是想写个同位语嘛？同位语要用双逗号隔开) What’s more, when copper was mixed with iron, they usually produced electricity. The original copper used for one purpose, while adapted copper for another purpose. Therefore, we can see how groundless the reading’s reason.

Finally, the professor rebutted the statement that the reading clarified, he explained that small electricity could produce wild short when we touch it. That’s the reason why many ancient people said they had magic power when using batteries. Because modern doctors use electricity to heal legs and pains and stimulate muscles, maybe ancient doctors also use it for the same purpose.

感觉第二段写的有点绕，建议长短句结合，然后可以加个结尾，第三点感觉我听的和你不太一样，都回去好好听听吧。

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-29 16:53
11.28
Modern people are confronted with a high-pace life and they consequently need find ways to relax themselve. When it comes to the better way to relieve people's pressure from study and work, different people will hold different opinions due to their various backgrounds. For example, they can choose to see a latest movie in movie theater or do some exercise in sports club. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the author's assertion that it is better to relax by watching movies or theaters than doing physical exercise in general. However, the author extends the issue into an irreversible extreme while overlooks other effects which also greatly influnce the topic.

On the one hand, no on can deny the fact that some comedy movies and funny fictions can bring endless hapiness and fun for adult as well as children, therefore makeing them set aside theirbother and stress from study or work. Nothing can compare with the pleasure given by the intresting plots in the book or funny sences on the screen. In addition, it is always accompanied with all kinds of snacks such as popcorn, chocolate, french fries in the process of watching movies and reading fictions, which will virtually people us think less seriously and just completely relax themselves.

On the other hand, a more rational and adequate opinion is required to incorporate the issue as adeqately as possible. First, I have to point out that exercise enables people relax themxelves in a health way, which will improve their health conditions by incresing the rate of blood circle. As we all know people nowadays live in a high-pace and intensive environment where we suffer from a lot of working pressure and living stress. For example, breadwinner has to work day and night to earn their family a hiher living standarads. Even students, they have to accomplish a large number of assignments every day for limited space in prestagious schools in order to have a promising future. In this case, they always have no time to relax themselves let alone do exercise, accordingly posing their health to a threat. Furthermore, some employees sit in the front of scrren for more 8 or 10 hours every day, which excessively do harm to their eyes and metabolism systerm. In the long run, they will have a higher chance of developing various diseases such as myopia, obesity and heart diseases. Thus, doing exercises after work can offer people an oppotunity to relieve the pressure and exhaust in the office and lead to them a healthier life.

Moreover, what is worth noticing is that people can make friends with people who share the same intrest by playing sports. They can get little together, they laugh, they talk, they disccuss, and all of these definitely make them feel funny and relax. For example, when you walk in the campus, more often than not, you might hear the laugh and louds from some boys and girls who are playing basketball or soccer ball. The teamates in one soocer team must cooperate with each other, while the competors in different teams have to compete in order to win the scores. They are immensed into the game and enjoy the hapiness that the game brings, which would contribute them forget the bad perfomances in academic or a low score report in the exam.

From what has been discussed above, it is sagacious to conclude that both movies or books and sports can provide a selection for individuals to relax. As a result, what people must do is to find the proper way that fits themselves best.

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-29 17:05
http://tmpdl.xiaoma.com/dl/attachment/233

作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-29 17:45
tpo10
The reading passage and the lecture debate the issue about the cause of the reduction of sea otters population. The reading passage supports that environment pollution contributes the decline of sea otters population, providing three reasons, which are contradicted by the following lecture.

The first reason in the reading passage is that the water polluted by industrial chemical may kill the sea otters whereas the professor points out that it is the predator not the environment pollution factor that results in the decrease number of sea otters. She proves her opinion with the evidence that there is no death sea otters found in the sea. Obviously, her claim objects its counterpart in the reading passage.

Furthermore, the reading passage contends that pollution affluenceS entire food chain of marine creature and alter large animals' food source, therefore leading large predators to prey small animals like sea otters. The professor, however, claims the reason does not hold water. The reason is that the food source of large predators are hunted by human, which makes them have to eat small animals like sea otters.

Finally, despite the statement in the reading passage that environment pollution also well explain the uneven pattern of sea otters' decline, the professor considers that uneven pattern are the result of predator. It is because that sea otters have a small number in the places where orcas can easily access to them. In contrast, they have a large portion in shallow where the orcas with a large body can not approach.

作者: Saturn光环 时间: 2012-11-29 20:12
11.28
Modern people ~~are~~ confronted with a high-pace life ~~and they~~. Consequently they need find ways to relax themselves. When it comes to the better way to relieve people's pressure from study and work, different people will hold different opinions due to their various backgrounds. For example, they can choose to see a latest movie in ~~movie~~ theater or do some exercise in sports club. As far as ~~I am~~I’m concerned, I agree with ~~the author's~~ assertion that it is better to relax by watching movies or theaters than doing physical exercise in general. However, the author extends ~~the~~this issue into an irreversible extreme ?while overlooks other effects which also greatly influnce the topic.

首段关键问题是主题句比较模糊，在提出主题后面的however应该放到句子前面作为让步。不然主次不分让人读完不知道你支持什么观点。

On the one hand, no one can deny the fact that some ~~comedy~~comedies~~movies~~ and ~~funny~~ fictions can bring endless happiness ~~and fun~~ for adult as well as children. （连词放在两个句子之间）Therefore ~~making~~ making them set aside their ~~bother and~~ stress from studying or working. Nothing can compare with the pleasure given by the ~~intresting~~ interesting plots in the books or funny ~~sence~~ scene on the screen. In addition, it is always accompanied with all kinds of snacks such as popcorn, chocolate, french fries in the process of watching movies and reading fictions（fiction指小说的时候不可数）, which will virtually people us think less seriously and just completely relax themselves. ？

On the other hand, a more rational and adequate opinion is it required to incorporate the issue as ~~adequately~~ adequate as possible. First, I have to point out that exercise enables people relax ~~themxelves~~ themselves in a healthy way, which will improve their health conditions by ~~incresing~~increasing the rate of blood circle. As we all know, people nowadays live in a high-pace and intensive environment where we suffer from a lot of working pressure and living stress. For example, breadwinner has to work day and night to earn their family a hiher? living ~~standarads~~ standards.Even students, they have to accomplish a large number of assignments every day ~~for limited space~~（多余信息）in ~~prestagious~~prestigious schools in order to have a promising future. In this case, they ~~always~~ have no time to relax themselves, let alone doing exercise.~~accordingly posing their health to a threat.~~ Furthermore, some employees sit in the front of ~~scrren~~screen for more than 8 or 10 hours every day, which is excessively do harmful to their eyes and metabolism ~~system~~system. In the long run, they will have a higher chance of ~~developing~~getting various diseases such as myopia, obesity and heart diseases. Thus, doing exercises after work can offer people an oppotunity to relieve the pressure ~~and exhaust~~ in the office and lead to them a healthier life.

Moreover, what is worth noticing is that people can make friends with people who share the same ~~intrest~~ interest by playing sports. They can get little together?（不知所云）, they laugh, they talk, they disccuss, and all of these definitely make them feel ~~funny and~~ relax. For example, when you walk in the campus, more often than not, you might hear the laughs and louds from ~~some~~ boys and girls who are playing basketball or soccer ball. The ~~teamates~~ teammates in one ~~soocer~~ soccer team must cooperate with each other, while the ~~competors~~ competitors in different teams have to compete in order to win the scores.（想表达神马） They are ~~immensed~~ immersed into the game and enjoy the ~~hapiness~~happiness that the game brings, which would contribute ~~them~~ to forgetting the bad perfomances in academic or a low score report in the exam.

From what has been discussed above, it is sagacious to conclude that both movies or books and sports can provide a selection for individuals to relax. As a result, what people must do is to find the proper way that ~~fits~~ relax themselves best.

1、我还以为我在一片文章里面错的单词已经够多了，看了楼主的我才知道原来山外有山啊；N多单词拼写错误，N多单复数没搞清楚。说道单词有优点，就是能有些例子和单词出现在正确的位置以正确的格式。这是可以继续发扬的。

2、感觉楼主就像刚背完，然后开始把单词往作文上搬，作文内很多单词的用法还需要考究不是会背就会用的。就是句子本身还需要再磨练，就是很多句子有chinglish的嫌疑

3、开头段没交代清楚，结尾段写的还不错。中间论述就是句子还是感觉重复的内容太多了，一句话说清楚的东西没必要说两句话，觉得很罗嗦。

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