ChaseDream
标题: CECE的作文贴 [打印本页]
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-9-28 08:05
标题: CECE的作文贴
9.28
Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past?
Education has always been a significant topic among the society. Viewpoint has it that people are easier to become educated than in the past, I take it as reality because the far-reaching changes in both the subjective ideas and objective factors facilitate the everyone-become-educated educational situation.
The most important change against the past is that the society of today values more the significance of education, therefore people are more willing to spend there time to become educated. Assuming that one person gets a bachelor degree while another gets nothing but basic common sense, given the same communication skill. It is responsible to predict that the one who got a bachelor degree has higher possibility to get a decent job and another one only gets a minimum payment job. To achieve personal success, it is never a hard choice for people that they know they need get education to attain the goal, which in return spurs the demand for education. Not only people take the education as a tool for personal success, government also consider educations as a weighted weapon for national success. This is also the reason for why so many schools established among the development of society and sponsored by the government, being the predetermined factors for people become educated.
Objective factors change in response to the subjective ideas. Other than the increasing rate of the establishment of education institutions, people are more become educated because several reasons. First, the policy which indicates every citizen get compulsory education is operated almost every developed countries and the major developing countries. People are supposed to become educated in a specific age because this is a required and it gradually become the way supposed to be. Most would agree that a 12-year-old boy should not become a child-worker but a full-time student in juniors school. However, compared with the past, education is not required for everyone and education is not worth as an expertise. Second, due to the government works as the sponsorship for education, the real education fee decreased disregarding the inflation. In the past, education is luxury and it can only afford by the wealth. The poor are not supposed to get educated. Things change today that become educated is a more cheaper than before that the governments, take the U.S. For example, would charge no money for basic education period. Third, the new technologies provide more methods of education and people are easier to get the educational courses they want through the help of new communication technology. Internet is now become a largest sharing platform for everyone. Once you have a computer and a hot-spot access, you can get into the updated information in any academic area you want. This is an absolute advantage compared to the past.
In all, the changes in mind as well as the objective factors make people of today easier to become educated compare to the past.
CECE为了能够明年顺利去伦敦实习，要在11.17的托福中争取作文上25，请大家多多指教。
作者: angelafeng 时间: 2012-9-29 09:33
今天Angela第一次来给cece改作文，改的不好的地方请多多包涵
Education has always been a significant topic among the society. Viewpoint has it that people are easier to become educated than in the past, I take it as reality because the far-reaching changes in both the subjective ideas and objective factors facilitate the everyone-become-educated educational situation.
The most important change against the past is that the society of today values more the significance of education, therefore people are more willing to spend there（their） time to become educated. Assuming that one person gets a bachelor degree while another gets nothing but basic common sense, given the same communication skill. It is responsible to predict that the one who got a bachelor degree has higher possibility to get a decent job and another one only gets a minimum payment job. To achieve personal success, it is never a hard choice for people that they know they need get education to attain the goal, which in return spurs the demand for education. Not only people take the education as a tool for personal success, government also （not only，but also在句子里要平行对称吧，改成but also government 会不会更好点呢？）considers educations as a weighted weapon for national success. This is also the reason for why so many schools established among the development of society and sponsored by the government, being the predetermined factors for people become educated. （用来很大的篇幅来说教育的重要性，但是作文题目是问现在人们获得教育是否比过去容易，所以有些跑题，虽然下面一段有再回来说题目的内容。我觉得这一段着实没必要花这么大的篇幅来写，这样很容易被判不切题的）
Objective factors change in response to the subjective ideas. Other than the increasing rate of the establishment of education institutions, people are more become educated because several reasons. First, the policy which indicates every citizen get compulsory education is operated almost every developed countries and the major developing countries. People are supposed to become educated in a specific age because this is a required and it gradually become the way supposed to be. Most would agree that a 12-year-old boy should not become a child-worker but a full-time student in juniors school（这里是说小学吗？小学是primaryschool，初中是juniorhighschool）. However, compared with the past, education is not required for everyone and education is not worth as an expertise. Second, due to the government works as the sponsorship for education, the real education fee decreased disregarding the inflation. In the past, education is luxury and it can only afford by the wealth. The poor are not supposed to get educated. Things change today that become educated is a more cheaper than before that the governments, take the U.S. for example, would charge no money for basic education period. Third, the new technologies provide more methods of education and people are easier to get the educational courses they want through the help of new communication technology. Internet is now become a largest sharing platform for everyone. Once you have a computer and a hot-spot access, you can get into the updated information in any academic area you want. This is an absolute advantage compared to the past.（可以把这一段分成三小段来写，这样结构会比较清晰）
In all, the changes in mind as well as the objective factors make people of today easier to become educated compare to the past.
总的来说，文章结构比较完整，语言流畅，cece的语言功底应该不错，都是一些长句子，用词可以再多样性一些，像表示重要的词，可以多换换。
文章中有一些细微的错误，如果有说的不对的地方，请告诉我哈，互相学习
最后就是，文章要切题，次要的做铺垫的不要写太多，要分清主次。
我们一起加油~~
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-9-29 13:25
多谢angelafeng的点评，我一写完检查的时候也觉得开始的那段偏题了，但是觉得删了又可惜。。
你觉得如果我把第一段删掉，第二段拆成三段来写如何？这样结构上是否会好一些？
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-9-30 08:34
9.29
Do you agree with: the friends that you can have fun with is more important than the friends that you can get help from?
The great Greek poet, Euripedes, once said, “Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. ” Friendship, the topic is indispensable from the past to now and people argue about the standard of being perfect friend. I do not agree that the friend who can have fun with is more important than the friends who make benign effects on another because the friends who can have fun with give us only one-time pleasure, the friends who provide help make one-life influence on us.
To begin with, the friends that we can have fun with is replaceable and superficial. Indeed, people in the modern society usually feel lonely, so we choose to be companied, surrounded by a group of friends who can have fun with so that we can get away the twisted minds that is surrounded by the . Sharing moment together does not mean share dream together. Take my own experience as instance, every Thursday night I go to Cactus, a bar near campus, to relax myself with a bunch of friend, most of whom are not familiar with and maybe we only have several conversations. They do not understand me and my life goal, neither do I to them. The group member of my “have fun with” friend fluctuates a lot, we are not supposed to hang out all the time all together, the restraint to the group is limited. And there is no special bond to restrict the “have fun with” friend to be like a real friend, who is supposed to comfort me when I depressed, support me when I trapped in the trouble.
In reality, I even make a list to distinguish my friend that I can get help from away the friend that I can have fun with. Sometimes, people just tend to talk with some who is reliable and capable when we are in trouble. For example, when I get into a trouble that I have a conflict with my rental apartment company, I would go and find someone who is always back me and looking for every way to fight for my interest. I would not turn to the “have fun with” friend because they are not functioning in that way. And if I am one of the “have fun with” friend to another person, she who turn to me when she is in trouble, I would feel confused and weird because there is a boundary for the real friends and “have fun with” friend, who is only responsible to have fun together but not go through the thick and thin together. In addition, in the modern society, everything is about the human connection, and friends who share dreams and looking for one goal are more able to provide help such as the information in need.
Admittedly, the friends who can have fun with can switch to the friends who can give help, and it is unpredictable for us to see the time of switch. However, when the process happens, the importance of the friend changes.
In all, the friend who can have fun with is not so important as the friend who can give help from according to my own experience.
作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-9-30 17:10
我是0929互相修改独立的童鞋~
http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-769386-1-1.html 先发我的链接, 稍后我贴上对你的修改~ 辛苦了！
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-1 04:59
标题: 9.30 独立
The adaptation to workplace is a crucial standard to judge whether or not the entry-level employees are worthy of the pursuant contracts. Students therefore raise a warming discussion that whether or not is the responsibility of school to help student prepare for the workplace. In my viewpoint, it is more reliable to become street-smart than school-smart.
It is not the obligation for the school to guarantee the future success of students. There is no doubt that university is a essential section in our life. We learn the extensive general knowledge about the world and the intensive profession acquisitions from the university, which set the fundamental of our future career. However, being a straight-A student in the university only represents being a school-smart. What I believe is that colleges and universities are the places to obtain knowledge rather than the training camp to survive in the career battlefield. Admittedly, universities do provide the platform to training the skills for the workplace, such as different organizations and the discipline competitions, to help student learn how to corporate and gain leadership, but those are not the main goal for the universities. In addition, these activities and chances to cultivate the abilities for the workplace are absolute enough only if the students capturing the chances.
Except for the knowledges we attained from the class, we need do more to prepare for the workplace. Recently a research has shown that almost 70% of undergraduates finally land in a career which has no relation to their major, which again shows that the university does limited influence for future success. It is impossible to make the wildest guess at what we can do for the workplace, but good communication skills and personal inspiration cannot be absent. Once my professor of Money and Banking told me a story about his niece, a literature student majoring Shakespeariana who graduate with a bachelor degree of art, got a full-time job from the Lafayette 5/3 Bank, and now a managerial inspector. What she learned from the university is how to write good articles and she was good at communication, which finally made her a career in financial system. How could we expect the universities do more for the preparation when the knowledge we learned from the university is even no longer helpful to the workplace? It will all depends on personal striving and the skills we learn directly from other people, which is being a street-smart.
In all, universities and colleges are places to learn, and they have already provided us a lot of chances to cultivate the skills we need for workplace only if we capture the chances. We need depend more on ourselves to prepare for the workplace since the reality told us street-smart is more important than school-smart in the workplace.
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-1 07:11
标题: 10.1 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: The most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime.
Starvations, war and health issues are among the most important problems in today’s world. It is hard to rank the first and second places for these problems because these problems effect diversely to different people. To what I concern, the most important problems is the inequity in every area and I believe this issue will never be solved until the doomsday.
The inequity exists since the day of all the life started and inequities can bring benefits. It is even safe to say due to the inequity, the life starts. According to Darwin, evolution is the key access for the constant progress of various living species. From the very begining, certain bacterias were so lucky to get the advantage of adequate nutritions they needed to finally evolve to be the primitive one-celled organsism. Compared to other bateria, the lucky ones enjoyed the profit of inequity. So were every significant species in the biological evolution history, the newly species became more powerful to gain more resource, which in return deepened the inequity. Therefore, inequity is widely exists in the tangible world.
In addition, the inequity does facilitate the progress of society. Ancient people share everything while modern people do everything to protect private property. The giant overturn orginats from the inequity. Inequity of physical ability and capability promote people who can gain more goods to be more powerful in the society and the effect intensifies along the progress of society. The unbalanced attribution of accumulated power and resource let the class of the rich and the powerful become more influential, and they are more inclinded to gain more resource. Reversely it resulted in the severe situation of inequity. The poor become poorer, and the rich become richer. The oofy country like the United States has more military and political power to plunder the resources in underdeveloped countries like the ones in South America and South Africa. Those countries has plenty of resource but less power and thus, people at there pathetically work at the sweatshop to make a living.
Since the inequity has been a huge problem and existed for such a long time, it seems impossible for us make the wildest guess at when the inequity can be erased. Truth is, the inequity roots so firmly in the origination of the society. The inequity has became the method to accelerate the blossom of certain vested interest groups by pillaging the resource of less powerful, and somehow maximum the social profit because the aggregation of resource.
In all, the inequity is so widely and deeply existed in every area in the world, it is impossible for us to see it solved in our life-time. In reality, I personally believe it will accompany the human being until the day of the end of the world.
作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-10-1 22:03
标题: 点评改错
http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-741014-1-1.html?userid=812175
The great Greek poet, Euripedes Euripides, once said, “Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends.” (我的word文档显示.+”之间不需要空格) Friendship, the topic is indispensable from the past to now and people argue about the standard of being perfect friend. I do not agree that the friend who can have fun with is more important than the friends who make benign effects on another because the friends who can have fun with give us only one-time pleasure, 【only one time pleasure sounds too absolutely, it’s also have positive side I think 】 the friends who provide help make one-life influence on us.
To begin with, the friends that we can have fun with is replaceable and superficial. Indeed, people in the modern society usually feel lonely, so we choose to be companied, surrounded by a group of friends who can have fun with so that we can get away the twisted minds that is surrounded by the . (By the what?) Sharing moment together does not mean share dream together. Take my own experience as instance, (我觉得for example or as my own experience 就可以了，不用一直使用长句有些显得啰嗦~)every Thursday night I go to Cactus, a bar near campus, to relax myself with a bunch of friend, most of whom are not familiar with and maybe we only have several conversations. They do not understand me and my life goal, neither do I to them. The group member of my “have fun with” friend fluctuates a lot, we are not supposed to hang out all the time all together, the (没有and变成是一个run on sentence 语法错误了，看了GMAT的改错，应该是and the) restraint to the group is limited. And there is no special bond to restrict the “have fun with” friend to be like a real friend, who is supposed to comfort me when I depressed, support me when I trapped in the trouble. (这里讲得很不错啊！非常让人有感觉，奖励一个☆)
In reality, I even make a list to distinguish my friend that I can get help from away the friend that I can have fun with. Sometimes, people just tend to talk with some who is reliable and capable when we are in trouble. For example, when I get into a trouble that I have a conflict with my rental apartment company, I would go and find someone who is always back (用support似乎更好~) me and looking for every way to fight for my interest. I would not turn to the “have fun with” friend because they are not functioning in that way. And if I am one of the “have fun with” friend to another person, she who turn to me when she is in trouble, I would feel confused and weird because there is a boundary for the real friends and “have fun with” friend, who is only responsible to have fun together but not go through the thick and thin together. In addition, in the modern society, everything is about the human connection, and friends who share dreams and looking for one goal are more able to provide help such as the information in need.
Admittedly, the friends who can have fun with can switch to the friends who can give help, and it is unpredictable for us to see the time of switch. However, when the process happens, the importance of the friend changes.
In all, the friend who can have fun with is not so (as) important as the friend who can give help from according to my own experience.
(姐姐码字的速度真是太让我汗颜了，530字！而且运用长难句炉火纯青，在汗颜一个！感觉你专业是不是英美文学或者文科专业啊？写作的整体思路和结构很好，开头名人名言积累不错！文章第二段后部稍微有些凌乱，但是后面几段思路都非常清晰。感觉全篇文章稍微有些复杂，相同词义用词有些重复，但是叙述的意思非常清晰，就担心到考场上时间会不够，提议是不是可以写的更加精炼而不刻意追求复杂度，不过弟弟在这里真是要好好学习你的用词准确，基本无错误，相信你的人生态度会帮助你的英国之行成功的，祝好运！)
作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-10-2 00:46
写作时建议使用英文字体而不是宋体，老外看起来会更舒服~
The adaptation to workplace is a crucial standard to judge whether or not the entry-level employees are worthy of the pursuant contracts. Students therefore raise a warming discussion that whether or not is the responsibility of school to help student prepare for the workplace. In my viewpoint, it is more reliable to become street-smart than school-smart.
It is not the obligation for the school to guarantee the future success of students. There is no doubt that university is a (an) essential section in our life. We learn the extensive general knowledge about the world and the intensive profession acquisitions from the university, which (按照老美逻辑which指代university吗，which是就近指代，这里用会产生歧义) set the fundamental of our future career. However, being a straight-A student in the university only represents being a school-smart. What I believe is that colleges and universities are the places to obtain knowledge rather than the training camp to survive in the career battlefield. Admittedly, universities do provide the platform to training the skills for the workplace, such as different organizations and the discipline competitions, to help student learn how to corporate and gain leadership, but those are not the main goal for the universities. In addition, these activities and chances to cultivate the abilities for the workplace are absolute enough only if the students capturing the chances.
Except for the knowledges we attained from the class, we need do more to prepare for the workplace. Recently a research has shown that almost 70% of undergraduates finally land in a career which has no relation to their major, which again shows that the university does limited influence for future success. It is impossible to make the wildest guess at what we can do for the workplace, but good communication skills and personal inspiration cannot be absent. Once my professor of Money and Banking told me a story about his niece, a literature student majoring Shakespeariana (Shakespearian) who graduate with a bachelor degree of art (minor in art 会更简练), got a full-time job from the Lafayette 5/3 Bank, and now a managerial inspector. What she learned from the university is how to write good articles and she was good at communication, which (又是指代不清有些啰嗦吧, she was good at communication made her a career in financial system 感觉逻辑更清晰) finally made her a career in financial system. How could we expect the universities do more for the preparation when the knowledge we learned from the university is even no longer helpful to the workplace?( how can we except more from universities when its’ knowledge are no longer helpful to the work? 我感觉你这句前半段会有些啰嗦，其实更简练一些更好，因为你的字数已经完全满足，中心思想也很充分，完全不需要长句体现水平或者拉字数)It (我感觉批卷人每天阅读几百篇文章，都是快速阅读一扫而过，不会回过头找it指代，特别你写的是长句有时候会使作者之外的人产生误解，当然GRE文章中会考到which指代问题，但是写作力求传达意思和简练,有说错的地方请指出，互相学习) will all depends on personal striving and the skills we learn directly from other people, which is being a street-smart.
In all, universities and colleges are places to learn, and they have already provided us a lot of chances to cultivate the skills we need for workplace only if we capture the chances. We need depend more on ourselves to prepare for the workplace since the reality told us street-smart is more important than school-smart in the workplace. (文章总体读起来连杆，一气呵成，前后对应，非常好，但是发生很多不应该发生的错误，如这次的Shakespeare和上次修改的Euripides，批卷人都会用电脑软件过一遍，当然瑕不掩瑜，期待你更多的精心雕琢，阅读你的文章也是一种享受。学习到了！)
谢谢你上次的批改!
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-2 01:14
标题: 10.2
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.
这一篇是严格计时 而且没有查任何单词裸上来的，个人觉得最后一段已经不知所云了。
Extensive as the changes of our life-style is, the effects of these changes are by no means all positive. Movies and television are the classics of modern life and they enrich life. However, the negative effects brought by movies and television on young people outweigh their benefits for the following three aspects.
At the very begining, movies and television tend to influence the behavior of the young people by the idiol power. According to a famous psychological research held by Dr. Neirn in Purdue University, teenagers of 14-18 are more inclined to follow the idiols, even the violent behaviors on the TV shows. The trend of the “copy behavior” works as a sign for the updated and cool. Meanwhile, teenage is a crucial period to set up their own viewpoints to the world. What they think and what they do at their 10 to 20s largely determines who they are going to be. Therefore, the violent and inapproperiate behaviors shown on movies and televison do cause negative effects on young people.
In addition, movies and television is easy to get addicated, especailly to the young people who have less power of self-control. Movies and television show amazing stuff that attracts eyes, this is the basic goal of the movies and televison. It is not hard to understand that some of the experts studying on the youth behavior encourages parents to limit the time of young people spending on the television. Not only because the long-time exposure to the electronic light could do harm to their eyesight, but also young people need more time do out-door activities, which facilitates the youth to get more involved into the outside door.
It is no doubt that movies and television could bring benefits to young people. Most of the visual information we know about the world is given by the television and movies. The informative content of television and movies can be related to every aspects of the most advanced area in the world. People could not deny that television and movies broaden the eyesight of young people. Furthermore, movies can be a type of art which inspires the young people to be more creative. However, the negative effects outweigh the positive effects of televisions and movies because the negative effects causes a general problem on all the youth, while the positive effects only activated on small group of youth who have self-control.
In all, television and movies have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.
作者: shatong424 时间: 2012-10-2 19:20
先给你改的..我的明天才能写 这两天事儿多 多担待啊 谢谢
作者: vanessa923 时间: 2012-10-2 20:29
妹纸啊，你这水平据我目测肯定能上25哈。加油！
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-2 20:43
先给你改的..我的明天才能写 这两天事儿多 多担待啊 谢谢
-- by 会员 shatong424 (2012/10/2 19:20:24)
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-2 20:43
妹纸啊，你这水平据我目测肯定能上25哈。加油！
-- by 会员 vanessa923 (2012/10/2 20:29:53)
作者: shatong424 时间: 2012-10-2 21:43
标题: 独立 改
改完了···有问题联系我 Q 731225744
作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-10-2 21:43
标题: 10.1独立改正 见附件
如果说的不对的地方请指出来 [attach]107333[/attach]
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-3 01:42
多谢shatong424还有fuzhengrui的点评。
总结：
oofy 富有的
until Doomsday 到世界末日
exert effect on 对...施加影响
多用形容词来修饰/限定/区分主题词： 如corresponding effect
be inclined to 更倾向于 = prefer
10.1日的作文对我而言是一篇抽象命题作文，我明白这一篇没有经过雕琢而且在限时内完成的文章毛病多多，很感谢shatong还有fuzhengrui的点评，对我的启发性很大
问题在于： 假如真的我在考场上遇到一篇 我很容易想抽象的文章，我如何在30分钟内把它写得具体、清楚、逻辑性强？
各位如果有建议请不吝赐教~
作者: shatong424 时间: 2012-10-3 14:46
标题: CECE shatong424
亲、、因为我也不一定对，那个，我给你改的那篇文章真的好多地方我不太理解，可能是我的问题，想跟你探讨几个表达，还有文章思路，你QQ多少？ 我加问几个问题
作者: tracyn 时间: 2012-10-3 21:30
改完喽~~~加油！！！
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-3 21:50
回答几个问题by no means = not at all. 现在看来用在文章中不是很合适。
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-5 13:17
标题: 10.5 综合， TPO 15
The reading material talks about three possible solution to solve the over-populated cane toad problem while the lecturer shows her negative attitudes all the solutions for she considering the solutions to be either unsuccessful or unexpected harmful.
For the first solution, the article suggests build up a national fence while the lecturer doubts the effectiveness of the solution. She says the cane toad produce eggs in river or streams which could flowing from one side to another, which is not useful at all. In addition, she mentions that even limited number of the cane toad get through the fence, the large population could be produced in new area.
The lecturer holds her idea toward the second solution of the collective efforts to be not possibly useful. However, she thinks the side effect of the solution outweigh its benefit. The untrained volunteers are unlikely distinguish the native toads against the cane toad because they are not easy to tell especially when they are young. Some of the native frogs are endangered and the sequence can resulted in a worse way.
The third solution is intensely opposed by the lecturer. She says the virus could do a terrible harm to the ecosystem of original habitat, which is in Central America. The lecturer demonstrates that the Australia species are usually carried out of the country by the researchers, which would spread the virus to the original habitat. In that area, the cane toad serves as an important part of the ecosystem and even the small eliminating part could results in a devastated harm.
作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-10-6 01:53
期待才女姐姐10.5号的独立哦，弟弟写好了在 http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-769386-1-1.html ，另外贴一个建议：
例二：
再看这么两句话：I love a girl. This girl is outgoing.
有人从前一句收到启发，写出——I love a girl who is outgoing. 但是，我觉得更为“有效”的表达是I love an outgoing girl.
比较两者，为什么更短的后者更加有效？发出这个疑问的人没有掌握英语的美学标准——文章不在乎长，在乎字字珠玑，表达有效。还记得你知道为例一的定语从句所欢呼喝彩的原因么？原因是用了一个定语从句把累赘的两个girl精简为一个，使表达更加有效率。但是，其中的美学标准是“更加有效”，而不是“定语从句”。所以，你简单地利用定语从句对例二进行“修饰”，是得不到这种美的——因为这个例子里，定语从句本身就是一个累赘——一个简简单单的形容词就足够美了。
由此及彼，什么主语从句、宾语从句等等发杂的句子成分的目的不是使句子更长，而是使表达更加有效。
原文网址 http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-712479-1-1.html
作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-10-6 04:28
10.5 综合， TPO 15
The reading material talks about three possible solution (solutions) to solve the over-populated cane toad problem while the lecturer shows her negative attitudes all the solutions for she (her) considering the solutions to be either unsuccessful or unexpected harmful. （实话挑不出什么毛病，整体思路和架构不错，感觉你写的时间有些紧，很多粗心的地方，姐姐要注意细腻啊！）
For the first solution, the article suggests build (building) up a national fence while the lecturer doubts the effectiveness of the solution. She says the cane toad produce eggs in river (s) or streams which could flowing (flow) from one side to another, which is not useful at all. （这句话可以不用which，一个句子里面两个which啊！one side to another. It is no useful at all，逻辑不清，莫怪弟弟说话直接啊 \(^o^)/~）In addition, she mentions that even limited number of the cane toad get through the fence, the large population could be produced in (the) new area.
The lecturer holds her idea toward the second solution of the collective efforts to be not possibly useful. However, she thinks the side effect of the solution outweigh (outweighs) its benefit. The untrained volunteers are unlikely distinguish the native toads against the cane toad because they are not easy to tell especially when they are young. Some of the native frogs are endangered and the sequence can resulted （*result原型！）in a worse way.
The third solution is intensely opposed by the lecturer. She says the virus could do a terrible harm to the ecosystem of original habitat, which is in Central America. The lecturer demonstrates that the Australia(所有格) species are usually carried out of the country by the researchers, which would（其实有些which指代问题，如果用and 替代which would就行了）spread the virus to the original habitat. In that area, the cane toad serves as an important part of the ecosystem and even the small eliminating part could results (be results) in a devastated harm.
姐姐加油哦！说的不对的地方多多包涵谅解 ^_^
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-6 06:18
综合直接在模考软件里面写的，我怕时间一到写的东西就没有了，所以写得很急，之后也没有再检查了，现在再看确实问题很多呀。
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-6 09:20
标题: 10.5 独立
Family bonds its members altogether, and the connections end up benefiting all the members by providing mutual corporation and supports. This is the reason why people value families. However, as time goes by, the structure of the society and the change in mind toward the success make people live at the moment to achieve success without families’ help than in the past.
Social structure changes with the time and so are the functions of the family. In the past, personal developments were strongly related to the social status of his family. At first, good education usually makes a better person. However, only the nobilities were allowed to take the education. Not only because their identification gave the privileges, but also the cost of education were too high to burden for the public. Most of the great people in the past were lucky to have a either rich or powerful family. In contrast, the world of today is differentiated against the past. The public education system provide the majority a relatively equal chance to build up the foundations for the future.
Meanwhile, the social mobility increased along the time showed by the socialists in Europe, especially after the industrial revolution. People are now more free from the land and certain place, doing whatever he wants at anywhere he like. The flexiblity and mobility increases the chance of achieving success. One can even make his name known in an area which his family totally unfamiliar with, not even to mention the help from families.
In addition, the bond of family were strong in the past, which in return resulted in a better collective force to be utilized. Nevertheless, as the society rapidly developed, families are not required to stay in one same place for the life time. This goes with the consequence that “the families are not even helpful than a close neighbor when one needs help,” as a famous Chinese old saying goes.
People change their minds toward success as well compared to the ones in the past. Modern society advocates more for individual endeavour. Take the greatest country in the world, the United States, for example, most of the offsprings are encouraged to set up his own career besides the family-own buiness and families’ help are limited even when the youth are struggling for their own career. In reality, the grassroot success are more admirable than the success for the priviliges, people take it for granted once you have the help from family.
In all, two changes make people today easier achieve success without families’ help.
作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-10-6 12:43
10.5 独立
Family bonds its members(their members?)altogether, and the connections end up benefiting all the members by providing mutual corporation and supports. This is the reason why people value families. However, as time goes by, the structure of the society and the change in mind toward the success make people live at the moment to achieve success without families' help than in the past. (开头不错！)
Social structure changes with the time and so are the functions of the family. In the past, personal developments were strongly related to the social status of his family. At first, good education usually makes a better person. However, only the nobilities were (was) allowed to take the education. Not only because their identification gave the privileges, but also the cost of education were too high to burden for the public. Most of the great people in the past were lucky to have a (an) either rich or powerful family. In contrast, the world of today is differentiated against the past. The public education system provide (provides) the majority a relatively equal chance to build up the foundations for the future. （此段举个列子就更好了！）
Meanwhile, the social (第一次出现无需the） mobility increased along the time showed by the socialists in Europe, especially after the industrial revolution. People are now more free（freer，前几次修改也出现类似问题）from the land and certain place, doing whatever he wants （wants +something 句子结构不完整） at anywhere he like. The flexiblity （flexibility） and mobility increases the chance of achieving success. One can even make his name known in an area which his family totally unfamiliar with, not even to mention the help from families.
In addition, the bond of family were strong in the past, which in return resulted in a better collective force to be utilized. Nevertheless, as the society rapidly developed, families are not required to stay in one same place for the life time. This goes with the consequence that "the families（提个问题：需要the吗？) are not even helpful than a close neighbor when one needs help," as a famous Chinese old saying goes.
People change their minds toward success as well compared to the ones in the past. Modern society advocates more for individual endeavour. Take the greatest country in the world, the United States, for example, most of the offsprings are encouraged to set up his own career besides the family-own buiness (business) and families' help are (is) limited even when the youth are (is) struggling for their own career.（短小精悍的列子不错！）In reality, the grassroot success are (is) more admirable than the success for the priviliges, （可以另起一句 priviliges. Poeple ... ) people take it for granted once you have the help from family. (the family 像我上一段提的问题the 的用法，文章总体出现很多单复数用法错误，一些拼写错误，不过因为是实战水平，还不错！姐姐再接再厉！)
In all, two changes make people today easier achieve success without families' help.
(限于目前水平实在看不出其他问题~ 姐姐果然长句用的很不错！这次文章显得比前几次精炼！前两次的确需要动脑用心去读！这次读起来更舒畅，长句很流畅！没有那么多小毛病起码27+)
Mary Maxwell Gates (born Mary Maxwell on July 5, 1929 – June 10, 1994) was an American businessperson. Gates served 18 years (1975–1993) on the University of Washingtonboard of regents. She was the first female president of King County’s United Way. ......and the first woman on the First Interstate Bank of Washington's board of directors. Mary's son Bill Gates is the co-founder of Microsoft.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Maxwell_Gates
他妈妈不是老师啦~
看了点评，果然姐姐点评句句到位！偏题严重~无语了
长难句被你一说回过头以旁观者角度看，也看不大懂~
列子也太偏~
姐姐有什么写作长难句的好书推荐码?
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-7 08:31
标题: 10.7 综合 TPO 17
The points held by the lecturer respectively go against the viewpoints claimed by the reading material.
First, urbanilization does do harm for some types of the birds, but in total facilitates other types and increasing population of birds in the city area. Seagols and pigeons are more often seen in the urban because they can have more food, and hawks can be more often seen in the city than in the past. Therefore, it is not accurate the expansion of human settlements will unavoidably cause the decreasing the size of the bird populations.
Second, it is true agricultural will result in diminishing wilderness areas, but the prediction in the reading material is opposed by the lecturer. She mentions that in America, with the development of technology, less and less land have been occupied to be the agricultural land year by year. Crops are sufficient for people and there is no need to destruct the wilderness area to convert to agricultural use.
Third, the lecturer points two aspects to object the projection in the reading material. The lecurer admits that the traditional pesticides do harm the birds. However, the trend about the future pesticides will not have the issue. Firstly, Less pesticide will be used in the future. Secondly, the pesticide used in the future cause the crops be more unattractive to the insects, which will have no harm to the birds at all.
作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-10-8 16:08
The points held by the lecturer respectively go against the viewpoints claimed by the reading material.
First, urbanilization (urbanization) does do harm for some types of the birds (brids) , but in total facilitates other types and increasing population of birds in the city area. Seagols (seagulls) and pigeons are more often seen in the urban because they can have more food, and hawks can be more often seen in the city than in the past. Therefore, it is not accurate the (用that 会不会更好?应该从句吧！)expansion of human settlements will unavoidably cause the decreasing the size of the bird populations.
Second, it is true agricultural will result in diminishing wilderness areas, but the prediction in the reading material is opposed by the lecturer. She mentions that in America, with the development of technology, less and less land have ( has, 原文中是is） been occupied to be the agricultural land year by year. Crops are sufficient for people and there is no need to destruct the wilderness area to convert to agricultural use. (姐姐总结的好精炼！)
Third, the lecturer points two aspects to object the projection in the reading material. The lecurer （lecture) admits that the traditional pesticides do harm the birds. However, the trend about (of ) the future pesticides will not have the issue（issue还有，只是less toxic）. Firstly, Less (小写less）pesticide will be used in the future. Secondly, the pesticide used in the future cause the crops be （to be）more unattractive to the insects, which will have no harm to the birds at all.
感觉很多细节没有提到，而直接用模糊词汇替代了~ 下次提高精确度吧！
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-17 06:58
标题: 10.17 综合
The lecturer gave three explanations respectively responding to the confusions showed in the reading part and testified that the portrait painting was the art of Rembrandt's.
First, after the X-ray examination, researchers found that the fur color was added after 100 years of the portrait originally painted. The reason speculated by the lecturer was that someone want to increase the value of painting by adding up the fur color and therefore making the portrait more formal, as a portrait of an aristocrat lady.
Second, according to the research, the original color that Rembrandt used for the girl was in light color of cloff, which illuminated her face. Thus, it was realistic for the painter not painting the shadow. The detail was exactly expected in Rembrandt's work.
Third, the enlarged part of wood panel was added at the same time as the adding fur color because someone wanted to make it more granted and valuable. However, in the original part of the portrait, the wood panel was examinated to be made by same tree for another wood panel, which was for Rembrandt's self portrait with hat.
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-18 00:58
标题: 10.18 TPO 4
The lecturer challenged the point of reading passage that dinosaurs were endotherms. She provided severval evidences to cast the logic chain to prove that the dinosaurs were not endotherms.
First, according to the reading passage, the bone fund in the polar area suggested that the dinosaurs were endotherms because only endotherms can survive in such a cold environment. The lecturer asserted that the polar area wer much more warmer than what it is now. It is warm enough for the dinosaurs to survive even they are not endotherms. In addition, the migration of dinosaur also explained why they were not found in the polar area any more because they were not fit for the cold.
Second, reading material suggested that the leg position of the dinosaur can be the evidence that dinosaurs were endotherms. Nevertheless, the lecturer debated that the leg position had nothing to do with the definition of dinosaurs being endotherms. The structure was effective to support weight and that was why dinosaurs can grow in such a huge size.
Third, information given in the reading part indicated that the presence of Haversian canals in bone being a sign of endotherm. The lecturer admitted that dinosaurs had the Haversian canals, but more evidence were found in their fossils to undermine the conclusion of the reading passage. She mentioned that there was a growth ring in their bone, it implied the growth rate of animals. Evidence showed that the dinosaurs were growing more rapidly in warmer age than the cold one, while the endotherms were supposed to grow at the same rate whenever in cold or warm time.
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-18 05:28
标题: 10.18 独立
As children grow, they seek increasing independence. However, what comes along with independence is a tough task for children to handle, responsibility. A heated discussion was raised about what is the best way for parents to make the children learn about responsibility during their growth. Some say it is best to have children care for an animal, some hold different opinion. In my point of view, the best way to cultivate responsiblity is far beyond taking care for an animal and children should learn about responsibility by making their own decisions and accepting the consequences of their actions.
It is never an easy thing to make the children learn about responsibility because it is so abstract for the young. Parents could initially start with letting children making decisions by themselves. Recently a research shows that the more earlier the children learn to depend on themselves, the more possiblities of being responsible when they are gowing up. A specific example is based on my observation on my little sister. My parent let her make decisions about her daily simple trials at a very early age, like where to put her cloth, how long to wash the cloth and so on and so forth. When the time comes for her to go to the primary school, she is so strong-minded that she dare to express her idea about the class fairs, which in return make her to be the monitor.
Making decisions is the first step to take responsbility, and when the children see the consequences of their own decision and actions, they will finally know the meaning of responsibility. So hard sometimes the decisions are to make because the consequences of the actions are unpredictable or hard to burden. Children are supposed to learn the principle by trainings. I will take my parents and my little sister’s example again, If she promised to clean her room before dinner, my parents would make sure that her room is clean before she sits down to eat. If she did not follow though with her commitment, she should expect a logical consequence. Sometimes she is not being able to eat dinner until her room is clean. Children should be aware that consequences are tied to their behavior and that is responsibility to every decision they make.
Besides letting them make own decisions and seeing the results of their decisions, parents should do more to help children learn about responsibility. For instance, parents should set the model for the children. Children learn from what their parents do. Therefore, it is important for parents to keep commitment and take responsibilities of every decision they make. In addition, parents should also give children their support. Children can expect their parents are going to be there when they need support. Even as adults we need some help to get us through our responsibilities. When children know they have the support of their parents, they are more willing to take on responsibilities and explore the world.
In all, one single behavior such as having children care for an animal is not the best way to make children learn about responsibility. Children should learn it by making their own decisions and accepting the consequences of their decisions or actions.
作者: 阿伦艾弗森 时间: 2012-10-18 21:53
The lecturer gave three explanations respectively responding to the confusions showed in the reading part and testified that the portrait painting was the art of Rembrandt's.
First, after the X-ray examination, researchers found that the fur color was added after 100 years of the portrait originally painted. The reason speculated by the lecturer was that someone wanted to increase the value of painting by adding up the fur color and therefore making the portrait more formal, as a portrait of an aristocrat lady.
Second, according to the research, the original color that Rembrandt used for the girl was in light color of cloff, which illuminated her face. Thus, it was realistic for the painter not painting the shadow. The detail was exactly expected in Rembrandt's work.
Third, the enlarged part of wood panel was added at the same time as the adding fur color because someone wanted to make it more granted (我觉得是granded吧。)and valuable. （可以加一点原始的画是画在一片上的，对下对比）However, in the original part of the portrait, the wood panel was examinated to be made by same tree for another wood panel, which was for (be for 表赞成)Rembrandt's self portrait with hat
没有大问题。我觉得挺棒的、~~
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-18 22:20
标题: 10.19 独立
10.19
Do you agree or disagree? It is better to work with your own computer and telephone at your
home than work in your company's office.
The office has greatly dominated the way of work after the industrial revolution. However, with the development of the remote-control software and network, peole now have more one choice that they can work at home. In my point of view, working in the office is generally a better idea compared with working at home.
First and the most important, working in the company’s office is relatively more efficient in most industries for it provide better communication. The offices nowadays provide staff mostly one’s own computer and telephone, so the problem about the limited resource which constraint the efficiency should not exist. In addition, working in the office provide the chance to communicate with the co-workers face to face. Misunderstanding between the communication on computer and telephone can lead to huge devastation. In some certain design industries, it is true that designers should get their own space to catch the inspirations, albeit that, getting right information from their customer and advices from their supervisors can be more crucial in those areas which need ceaseless modification. Therefore, working in the office is more effient than working by oneself at home.
Furthermore, despite the truth that working at home is seen as a welfare because the relaxable environment, working at home would also in return decreasing the efficiency for being more distracting. Working at home means one can work on his bed, sitting infront of his TV with the speakers on, playing who knows songs. Can you imagine one more distracting thing than this? Working at office means there are certain rules to obey, one is supposed to do nothing but his own work at the office area and which facilitate the efficiency of work. The situation may not apply to someone who has high self-displine, however, not everyone especially the young adult can ensure their focus not being abstracted in the cozy environment.
Last but not least, working at home with personal computer and telephone can somehow ruin the atmosphere of family. Take my own experience for example, my dad once worked at home for a while. I have to admit that there was a strange feeling for me during that period. I was told not to disturpt my father, but hard thing it was can be for a 10-year-old girl. Thus I observed the way my father worked, he was sometimes frustracted when he had trouble drawing the blueprint and sometimes excited when the inspiration came to his mind, which terrified me somehow. I never seen my father so emotional besides his working time. Therefore, working at home is not always a better idea especially for ones who are already parents. Working at home means sacrifice the role they strive to play, though I approve that sometimes the dedication to work expressed by their parents can be a model for children.
In all, after comparing the advantages and disadvantages of working at home and working at office, it is better to work at the office.
计时： 37min.
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-19 05:39
标题: 10.19 综合 TPO 5
The lecturer respectively rejected three theories which were used to speculate the usage of Chaco structures. He said that all the theories are not convincing at all.
The first theory said the Chaco structures were for residential and hundreds of people lived in there. Nevertheless,the lecturer mentioned that the evidence found by archaeologists were not supportive to the theory. It was supposed to have many fireplaces for hundreds of people living in one place. Truth is, only fireplaces enough for 10 families were discovered.
The second theory proposed that Chaco structures were used for food storage. The lecturer, however, pointed that there were no traces remained to support the theory. No maize nor huge containers were discovered by the archaeologists.
The third theory contended that the Chaco structures were used as ceremonial centers. The lecturer defaulted this one for the same reason as the second theory, saying there is no evidence to support it. Though 
ueblo Alto was mentioned, the lecturer debated that it was not expected to be the ceremonial center. Old materials in pile could be the material left for construction. Also, the remain of food were mostly likely to be the regular trash rather being the sacrifice on the ceremony. Therefore, Pueblo Alto was not good enough to support the theory.
作者: 夜游的恶鸟 时间: 2012-10-19 11:52
修改1018
The lecturer challenged thepoint of reading passage that dinosaurs were endotherms. She provided severval several evidencesto cast the logic chain to prove that the dinosaurs werenot endotherms.
First, according to thereading passage, the bone fund in the polar area suggested that the dinosaurswere endotherms because only endotherms can survive in such a cold environment.The lecturer asserted that the polar area werwere much morewarmer than what it is now. It is warm enough for the dinosaurs to survive eventhey are not endotherms. In addition, the migration of dinosaur also explained why they were not found in the polar area any morebecause they were not fit for the cold.（听力中说的是在每年寒冷的几个月里dinosaurs会migrate，并不是说寒冷后恐龙不在存在于polar area）
Second, reading materialsuggested that the leg position of the dinosaur can be the evidence thatdinosaurs were endotherms. Nevertheless, the lecturer debated that the legposition had nothing to do with the definition of dinosaurs being endotherms.The structure was effective to support weight and that was why dinosaurs cangrow in such a huge size.言简意赅分析的到位。
Third, information given inthe reading part indicated that the presence of Haversian canals in bone beinga sign of endotherm. The lecturer admitted that dinosaurs had the Haversiancanals, but more evidence were found in their fossils to undermine theconclusion of the reading passage. She mentioned that there was a growth ringin their bone, it implied the growth rate of animals. Thisevidence showed that the dinosaurs were growing more rapidly in warmer age thanthe cold one, while the endotherms were supposed to grow at the same ratewhenever in cold or warm time.
整体思路清晰，每段都直接找出reading passage里面可攻击的点再阐述听力中是如何反驳的。
需要注意的是个别词语的拼写及比较级。听力中大部分听的很清楚，偶尔的小细节没有听正确。
作者: 夜游的恶鸟 时间: 2012-10-19 13:28
改1018独立
______错误 ______不恰当 _____好！
As children grow, they seekincreasing independence. However, what comes alongwith independence is a tough task for children to handle, responsibility.A heated discussion was raised about what is the best way for parents to makethe children learn about responsibility during their growth. Some say it is best to（改为it is the best to，it is best to意思等同于you’d better to） have children care for an animal, some hold differentopinion. In my point of view, the best way to cultivate responsiblity responsibilityis far beyond taking care for an animal and children should learn aboutresponsibility by making their own decisions and accepting the consequences oftheir actions.
It is never an easy thing to make the children learnabout responsibility because it is so abstract for the young. Parents couldinitially start with letting children making decisions by themselves. Recentlya research shows that the more earlierthe children learn to depend on themselves, the more possiblities possibilities of being responsible there will be when they are gowing growing up. A specificexample is based on my observation on my little sister. My parent let hermake decisions about her daily simple trials at a very early age, like where toput her cloth, how long to wash the cloth and so on and so forth. When the timecomes for her to go to the primary school, she is so strong-minded that shedare to express her idea about the class fairs, which in return make her to bethe monitor.
Making decisions is the first step to take responsibility responsibility,and when the children see the consequences of their own decision and actions,they will finally know the meaning of responsibility. So hard sometimes thedecisions are to make because the consequences of the actions are unpredictableor hard to burden. Children are supposed to learn the principle by trainings. Iwill take my parents and my little sister’s example again, If she promised toclean her room before dinner, my parents would make sure that her room is cleanbefore she sits down to eat. If she did not follow thoughthrough with her commitment, she should expect alogical consequence. Sometimes she is not being able to eat dinner until herroom is clean. Children should be aware that consequences are tied to theirbehavior and that is responsibility to every decision they make.
Besides letting them make own decisions and seeing theresults of their decisions, parents should do more to help children learn aboutresponsibility. For instance, parents should setthe model for the children. Children learn from what their parents do.可合为一句 Therefore, it is important for parents to keepcommitment and take responsibilities of every decision they make. In addition,parents should also give children their support. Children can expect theirparents are going to be there when theyneed support. Even as adults we need some help to get us through ourresponsibilities. When children know they have the support of their parents,they are more willing to take on responsibilities and explore the world.
In all, one single behavior such as having childrencare for an animal is not the best way to make children learn aboutresponsibility. Children should learn it by making their own decisions andaccepting the consequences of their decisions or actions.
最后一段理解cece的观点是单一的办法不能成为最好的方式，与文章开始说的beyond…是统一的。用了找到比care an animal更好的way来反驳题目观点。只是感觉在文中能再与题目产生一些关联，或者每段提一下这些方法比养小动物更好会更切题一点。不然读到第二段有种在讲另外一个题目的感觉。
文中句子多为单句，容易感觉不连贯，适当讲部分单句合并感觉更好。
部分单词拼写和词组使用、比较级需要稍加注意。
使用了不同的句式，值得学习！
巧妙地利用了一个例子来说明多个论点，学习！
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-20 06:21
标题: 10.20 综合
The lecturer disagreed with the opinion expressed in the reading material which towarded the communal online encyclopedias. She called the concerns "prejudice and ignorance."
First, reading material charged that the communal online encyclopedias were inaccurate in many cases. The lecturer, however, debated that there was nothing perfect to look for either paper or online encyclopedias. What is more, the strength of online encyclopedias was that they can be corrected at anytime, which can never be realized for paper encyclopedias.
Second, reading material mentioned that unscrupulous and hackers were able to change the information with bad intentions, causing negative effects. Nevertheless, the lecturer pointed two stragedies used on communal encyclopedias which avoided these problems. First, the special format on crucial data ensured nobody can change them except the operators. Second, there was specific faculty working on the data base to secure the changes made were not malicious.
Third, reading material judged the frequent change of the communal encyclopedias created a false impression of the most important feature. The lecturer objected that the judgement about one topic could never been settled because it changed everyday. In addition, the more important thing was that as long as the updated still represented accurate information about that object, the encyclopedias was working.第三段没有听清楚，所以是根据原文大意还有听到的一些细节乱编的，想看下我乱编的程度会不会接近原来的理由。。。
作者: deanlone 时间: 2012-10-20 11:11
红色错误，蓝色拼写错误，绿色不确定的建议，黄色为精彩
The officehas greatly dominated the way of work after the industrial revolution. (时间状语提前并且把after改为since更好，因为用了现在完成时，Since the industrial revolution，blablabla。。。 )However, with the development of the remote-controlsoftware and network, people now havemore than(少了than) one choice that they can work at home（一开始以为加than，但是后来发现句子仍然有语法问题，that从句为one choice的定语显然不对，可以改写）. In my point of view, working in the office isgenerally a better idea compared with working at home.
First and the most important, working in thecompany’s office is relatively more efficient in most industries for it（it不能指代短语，可以改为this working style） provide better communication. The officesnowadays mostly provide staff one’s own computer and telephone（公司提供员工自己的电脑，貌似逻辑不对，应该是公司允许员工带自己的电脑）, so the problem about the limited resource which constraint the efficiencyshould not exist. In addition, working in the office provides the chance to communicate with the co-workersface to face. Misunderstanding between the communication on computer andtelephone can lead to huge devastation. In some certain design industries, itis true that designers should get their own space to catch the inspirations,albeit that, getting right information from their customer and advices fromtheir supervisors can be more crucial in those areas where need ceaseless modification. （句子结构很好，可以适当替换简单词）Therefore, working in the office is more efficient than working by oneself at home.
Furthermore, despite the truth that working athome is seen as welfare(不可数) because of（because接句子） the relaxing（relaxable不存在，relax的形容词表达是relaxed或relaxing） environment,working at home would also in return decreasing the efficiency for being more distracting（being逻辑主语和句子主语不一致）. Working at home means one can work on hisbed, sit in front of his TV with the speakers on, play who knows songs（三个动词要平行）. Can you imagine one more distracting thing（这个不知道是否more+动名词是否可行） than this? Working at office means there arecertain rules to obey; （逗号不能连接两个完整句）one is supposed to do nothing but his own workat the office area and whichfacilitate the efficiency of work（可以改为动名词从句表伴随）. The situation may not apply to someone whohas high self-displine, however, not everyone especially the young adult canensure their focus not being abstracted in the cozy environment.
Last but not least, working at home withpersonal computer and telephone can somehow ruin the atmosphere of family. Takemy own experience for example, my dad once worked at home for a while. I haveto admit that there was a strange feeling for me during that period. I was toldnot to disturb my father, but hard thing it (it 好像不能指代句子前面的句子)was can be for a 10-year-old girl. Thus I observed the waymy father worked, he was sometimes frustrated when he had trouble drawing the blueprint and sometimesexcited when the inspiration came to his mind, which terrified me somehow（which非限制性定语从句紧跟修饰词，CECE好像想修饰前面整句，应该改为terrifying me somehow这样表结果伴随，而且貌似用terrify不太合适，因为英文解释是make sb feel extremely frightened，换个词更好）. I have never seen my father so emotional besides his workingtime. Therefore, working at home is not always a better idea（用的太多，可以换换,choice? way?） especially for ones who are already parents.Working at home means sacrificingthe role theystrive to play, though I approve that sometimes the dedication to workexpressed by their parents can be a model for children.（dedication不能是榜样吧，the parents, who are dedicated to their work, canbe a model for children会更好吧）
In all, after comparing the advantages and disadvantagesof working at home and working at office（比较对象混乱）, it is better to work at the office.
整体结构清晰，但是非限制性定语从句使用有点欠缺，可以看看关于这一章的语法部分，有些词汇用的不够恰当，可以看看英文解释后再试试
总体而言，逻辑清晰，应从语法和词汇方面加强，Fighting Together!
作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-10-20 21:17
粉红色拼写错误(直接修改了)橘红色语法错误（谓语搭配单复数问题、固定搭配、空格多空了一格、逗号句号用错了）红色其他错误黄色精彩句子蓝色建议修改（个人建议，不对的地方多多指教啊）
The lecturer respectively rejected three theories which were used to speculate the usage of Chaco structures. He said that all the theories are not convincing at all.
The first theory said the Chaco structures were for residential and hundreds of people lived in(live 因为 there后置无需in) there. Nevertheless, the lecturer mentioned that the evidence found by archaeologists were （是evidence support吧，用was） not supportive to（of） the theory. It was supposed to have many fireplaces for hundreds of people living in one place. Truth is, only fireplaces enough for 10 families were discovered.
The second theory proposed that Chaco structureswere used for food storage. The lecturer, however, pointed that there were no traces remained to support the theory. No maize nor huge containers were（was）discovered by the archaeologists. （这段话太少了吧~）
The third theory contended that the Chaco structures were used as ceremonial centers. The lecturer defaulted this one for the same reason as the second theory, saying there is no evidence to support it. Though Pueblo Alto was mentioned, the lecturer debated that it was not expected to be the ceremonial center. Old materials in pile （the pile 吧，名词前肯定有冠词啊）could be the material left for construction. Also, the remain of food were mostly likely to be the regular trash rather being the sacrifice on the ceremony. Therefore, Pueblo Alto was not good enough to support the theory.
感觉是直接复述加以简单描述，无法体现姐姐的丰富技巧和写作水准~加油吧！
作者: klllun 时间: 2012-10-21 23:14
The lecturer disagreed（其实没有必要用过去式啦，一般现在也OK的，不过个人喜好吧，啰嗦一下而已，LZ不要见怪~） with the opinion expressed in the readingmaterial which towarded (这个用法似乎有点不寻常哦，字典中的解释是没有towarded这种用法的哈。Toward/towards可以作为介词。详细的解释见最后)the communal online encyclopedias. She called the concerns"prejudice and ignorance."
First, reading material charged that thecommunal online encyclopedias were inaccurate in many cases. The lecturer,however, debated that there was nothing perfect to look for either paper oronline encyclopedias. What is more, the strength of online encyclopedias wasthat they can be corrected at anytime, which can never be realized for(by，因为前面是被动) paper encyclopedias.
Second, reading material mentioned thatunscrupulous and hackers were able to change the information with badintentions, causing negative effects. Nevertheless, the lecturer pointed twostragedies（拼写） used on communalencyclopedias which avoided these problems. First, the special format oncrucial data ensured nobody can change them except the operators. Second, therewas specific faculty working on the data base to secure the changes made werenot malicious.
Third, reading material judged the frequentchange of the communal encyclopedias created a false impression of the mostimportant feature. （这句的that最好补出来，要不然读上去有点晕啊。所以时态最好全文都用现在时，比较好写啊）The lecturer objected that the judgement （拼写）about one topic could never been settled because it changed everyday（连写表示每天的，要分开，every day）. In addition,the more important thing was that as long as the updated still representedaccurate information about that object, the encyclopedias was working.第三段没有听清楚，所以是根据原文大意还有听到的一些细节乱编的，想看下我乱编的程度会不会接近原来的理由。。。
In addition 前面的还有点沾边，后面的那个句子本身就有点矛盾哦。more important 这里的比较使用不太恰当。还是重听一下再完善吧
Toward/towards
1 a : in the direction of(something or someone)
? The bus is heading toward town. ? She took a step toward the door. ? He leaned towards me.
CECE不好意思啊，来串了一次门，没有看到新贴出来的文章。木有想到LZ那么早就贴出来了。所以回晚了滴~勿怪呀
最后有个小小建议哈，不知道LZ考G不，如果要的话，先把manhattan语法看看，虫子觉得对写作文的遣词造句很有帮助。
Well, open to discuss~
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-22 04:54
标题: 10.21 综合 TPO 7
The reading part argues that the U.S. wood companies would not obtain ecocertifications while the lecturer opposites the idea by respectively refuting each point given in the reading material.
First, the reading passage claims that American consumers do not trust in advertisements. Nevertheless, the lecturer points that American consumers are just treat the advertisements differently. They are in convincing of the companies who make their own products and get examined by the independent agencies. Therefore, wood companies which get ecocertifications from an indepedent agency which enjoys international reputation like the wood ecocertification agency would win the market.
Second, reading material demonstrates that ecocertified wood will be more expensive than uncertified wood by marking up the price in order to compensate the cost of examing. The lecturer agrees with the point that the price does influence the consumer choices, but he also mentions that only a much higher price between competing product would make a difference. In his explanation, two goods with a differential price in 5% would not make a huge variance. In addition, more American consumers are concern about the development and environment. They will accept a higher price getting goods with higher quality.
Third, The reading part suggests that the U.S. companies will obtain ecocertification only if they marketed foreign countries. The lecturer somehow agrees on the viewpoint that consumers influence the market. As what he mentions earlier, American consumers are becoming increasingly interested in the evironmental friendly work. If the American wood companies work slow obtaining the ecocertification, other foreign companies would occupy the U.S. market.
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-22 05:26
标题: 10.22 综合 TPO 8
The lecturer holds an opposite opinion toward the accuracy of Chevalier's memoir that she believe the events in Chevalier's memoir are realistic and accurate, against the viewpoint expressed in the reading passage. She respectively makes her explanation to the three doubts mentioned in the reading material.
First, she says that borrowing money does not mean Chevalier was poor. It is true that Chevalier had huge wealth at that time and he was into gambling and parties. Sometimes, it costs several days to convert his fortune into cash by selling his properties. So, he might borrow money in that waiting period, which can not cast the sign that Chevalier was poor.
Second, the lecturer points that Chevalier took journals and wrote down the specific events every night in his life. It is also being confirmed that Chevalier was using those notes and journals to write his memoirs, which ensured the accuracy of his memoir.
Third, the lecturer asserts that there were more powerful and rich people than Chevalier was and they were not able to bribe to free, so it is unlikely Chevalier make that way. In addition, evidence shown in a historical records "Venician document" that soon after Chevalier's escape, the cell need to be repaired. What else except his "prison break" can make the cell to be repaired?
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-23 00:44
标题: 10.22 独立
More and more people are spending money on their pets, even though there can be other good ways to spend money.
解析：现象说明文
我的想法： 数据支持more and more people spending money on their pets;
案例支持他们有更好的方式去花钱
综合论证人与宠物的关系
The more crowded the world is, the more lonely people become. To stuff the spiritual emptiness, people tend to raise pets, and along with the phenomenon, more and more people are spending money on their pets, even though they can spend that money in a more significant way.
George Elliot, the pioneer of psychological novel in Englandanimals, once said, “Animals are such agreeable friend, they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.” It probably explains why people raise pets even “invest” on their best friends. According to a recent study shown in Chengdu Daily, the number of pet license has greatly increased from 2000 to 2012, with an increasing average daily payment on their pets from 2 yuan to 5 yuan. The number of payment can be larger on giant dogs and purebreds.
The owners expand the spending on their pets can due to the following three aspects: First, the increasing income lead to an increasing consumption. People now earn a more nominal wage than they did before. More wage income provides the oppotunity of buying more goods. Second, various pets products and services are provided in the market. The tint special to the dogs and cats are invented, which can cost even more money than some human tint. Veterinary earn a huge profit by collecting a high price of surgery fee on pets. Also, raising a pet usually means paying an extra rate of pets fee living in the rental apartment or communities. Those factors all cast the fact that people can and somehow must spend more and more money on their pets.
Besides spending money on the pets, people do have a better choice with the money. Although that animals are so sweet and accompany the owners, people could find the emotional compensation in the more active way. For instance, they can donate the money to finance the ones who are less fortunate or in poor area. This activity can be more meaningful than raising a sloppy dog. In addition, they can invest the money on themselves, paying a monthly fee in the fitness club will stimulate people make exercise and even more, people can make friends at there, enriching leisure time.
In all, it is true that animals are agreeable friend, but instead of people spending more money on the pets, they can do more significant activities at a same cost.
作者: 阿伦艾弗森 时间: 2012-10-23 20:51
The lecturer holds an opposite opinion toward the accuracy of Chevalier's memoir that she believes the events in Chevalier's memoir are realistic and accurate, against the viewpoints expressed in the reading passage. She respectively makes her explanation to the three doubts mentioned in the reading material.
First, she says that borrowing money does not mean Chevalier was poor. It is true that Chevalier had huge wealth at that time and he was(used them) into gambling and parties. Sometimes, it costs several days to convert his fortune into cash by selling his properties. So, he might borrow money in that waiting period, which(严格意义上讲，which 不指代句子的) can not cast the sign that Chevalier was poor.
Second, the lecturer points that Chevalier took journals and wrote down the specific events every night in his life. It is also being confirmeds that Chevalier was using those notes and journals to write his memoirs, which ensured the accuracy of his memoir.
Third, the lecturer asserts that there were more powerful and rich people than Chevalier was and they were not able to bribe to free, so it is unlikely Chevalier make that way. In addition, evidence shown in a historical records "Venician document" that soon after Chevalier's escape, the cell（ceiling）need(时态)to be repaired. What else except his "prison break" can make the cell to be repaired?
总体很好、
注意一下语法上细节的小问题比如时态什么的就OK了。
还有一点就是being 这样的词最好不要出现在句中。
改的地方有什么问题可以一起讨论哈！！~
作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-10-23 21:34
粉红色拼写错误(直接修改了)橘红色语法错误（谓语搭配单复数问题、固定搭配、空格多空了一格、逗号句号用错了）红色其他错误黄色精彩句子蓝色建议修改（个人建议，不对的地方多多指教啊）
10.22 独立
More and more people are spending money on their pets, even though there can be other good ways to spend money.
解析:现象说明文
我的想法: 数据支持more and more people spending money on their pets;
案例支持他们有更好的方式去花钱
综合论证人与宠物的关系
The more crowded the world is, the more lonely people become. To stuff the spiritual emptiness, people tend to raise pets, and along with the phenomenon, more and more people are spending money on their pets, even though they can spend that money in a more significant way.
George Elliot, the pioneer of psychological novel in England animals, once said, "Animals are such agreeable friend, they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms." It probably explains why people raise pets even "invest" on their best friends. According to a recent study shown in Chengdu Daily, the number of pet license has greatly increased from 2000 to 2012, with an increasing average daily payment on their pets from 2 yuan to 5 yuan (Yuan 大写，要不直接用dollar). The number of payment can be larger on giant dogs and purebreds.
The owners expand the spending on their pets can due to the following three aspects: First, the increasing income lead to an increasing consumption. People now earn a more nominal wage than they did before. More wage income provides the ( opportunity ) oppotunity of buying more goods. Second, various pets products and services are provided in the market. The tint special to the dogs and cats are ( is是tint special的谓语吧) invented, which can cost even more money than some human tint. Veterinary earn a huge profit by collecting a high price of (加the）the surgery fee on pets. Also, raising a pet usually means paying an extra rate of pets fee living in the rental apartment or communities.（感觉这句话有点挠，Raising a pet usually means cost more money if the family live in a rental apartment or community. (community单数，不可能同时住在多个地点,感觉不是为了句子复杂而复杂，其实简单的句式就可以表达了 ) Those factors all cast the fact that people can and somehow must spend more and more money on their pets.
Besides spending money on the pets, (这句有些句子重复了） people do have a better choice with （for）the money. Although that animals are so sweet and accompany the owners, people could find the emotional compensation in the （a）more active way. For instance, they can donate the money to finance the ones who are less fortunate or in poor（a poor）area. This activity can be more meaningful than raising a sloppy dog. In addition, they can invest the money on themselves, paying a monthly fee in the fitness club will stimulate people make exercise and even more, people can make friends at（at删掉）there, enriching leisure time.
In all, it is true that animals are agreeable friend, but instead of people spending more money on the pets, they can do more significant activities at a same cost.
写的比较有深度。像一篇科普作文。加油吧！
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-23 23:58
Also, raising a pet usually means paying an extra rate of pets fee living in the rental apartment or communities.（感觉这句话有点挠，Raising a pet usually means cost more money if the family live in a rental apartment or community. (community单数，不可能同时住在多个地点,感觉不是为了句子复杂而复杂，其实简单的句式就可以表达了 )
回答Anthony这个问题，在美国租房子是分apartment或者非apartment的，大部分的apartment是不能养宠物的；允许养宠物的community一般是需要多收费，所以我才把这两个东西分开写。其实原句成分比较简单，只不过是你不认可apartment 和 community是两种租房形态罢了。
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-24 03:01
标题: 10.23 综合
The reading passage points out the problem with the fuel-cell engines and asserts that the hydrogen based fuel would replace the internal-combustion engines. The lecturer agreed with the problem mentioned in the reading passage, but she debates that the attitude in reading passage toward hydrogen based egine is too optimistic.
First, despite the truth that petroleum is a finite resource, hydrogen, the lecturer says, is not a best alternative power because it is not easy to get as the reading passage indicated. The use of hydrogen need it to be in pure liquid, which is a complete artificial stuff. In addition, it is hard to produce and store the pure liquid hydrogen.
Second, pure liquid hydrogen is not the core to solve the pollution with cars. During the production process of hydrogen, it causes a higher amount of pollution than the same size of petroleuom using on the cars. Therefore, it is inapplicable to used hydrogen as a way to solve car pollutions.
Third, the lecturer mentions, it requires a high cost on manufacturing the hydrogen engine on the cars. According to the requirement to store the hydrogen, the car need to install a plate of expensive mental to ensure the chemical reaction happen in safe. Moreover, the researchs on the replacement of cheaper material is so far unsuccessful.
作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-10-24 16:19
10.23 独立
小滋滋 msc
CECE Anthony
综合
小滋滋 Anthony
楼主你是提交独立吧~
作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-10-24 17:20
辛苦CECE耐心的修改了！经过你们的提醒，我现在非常注意语法和逻辑两大主要问题，做到三思而落笔，写之前想清楚主位逻辑关系，一个句子做到一个主语，不乱用长句反正也写错导致大家都不明白，时态等其他问题已经在深入研究中了，经过你们一点拨也的的确确豁然开朗。不过有些句子实在在短时间里面无法提高，对不住你批改了！O(∩_∩)O谢谢
作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-10-24 20:55
粉红色拼写错误(直接修改了)橘红色语法错误（谓语搭配单复数问题、固定搭配、空格多空了一格、逗号句号用错了）红色其他错误黄色精彩句子蓝色建议修改（个人建议，不对的地方多多指教啊）
10.23 综合
我看到你报名了23号的独立，我们是独立互改，不是综合~
The reading passage points out the problem with the fuel-cell engines and asserts that the hydrogen based fuel would replace the internal-combustion engines. （很简练的概括）The lecturer agreed with the problem mentioned in the reading passage, but she debates that the attitude in reading passage toward hydrogen based engine is too optimistic.
First, despite the truth that petroleum is a finite resource, hydrogen, the lecturer says, is not a best alternative power because it is not easy to get as the reading passage indicated. The use of hydrogen need ( needs ) it to be in pure liquid, which is a complete artificial stuff. In addition, it is hard to produce and store the pure liquid hydrogen.（感觉加个需要低温存储这个有效信息会好很多）
Second, pure liquid hydrogen is not the core to solve the pollution with cars. (the cars pollution 或者 the pollution from cars ) During the production process of hydrogen, it causes a higher amount of pollution than the same size of petroleum using on the cars. Therefore, it is inapplicable to used ( use ) hydrogen as a way to solve car pollutions. (这里就对的，感觉你时间一少就容易出错）
Third, the lecturer mentions, it requires a high cost on manufacturing the hydrogen engine on the cars. According to the requirement to store the hydrogen, the car need to install a plate of expensive mental to ensure the chemical reaction happen in safe.（原文是说Without the platinum components in the engine, the hydrogen doesn’t undergo the chemical reaction that produces the electricity to power the automobile，是无法进行反应，不是不安全） Moreover, the researchs on the replacement of cheaper material is so far unsuccessful.
对听力原文的有些信息漏听或者听错了。整体结构很好，稍微有拼写和语法错误，概括的非常简洁有效，有很大的提升空间。加油吧！
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-25 09:52
...........这个。我占座占的是23号的独立和综合，队长没有把我的综合安排进去，独立还没来得及写。但是还是谢谢你花时间修改我的综合，嗯。
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-25 12:01
标题: 10.24
The lecturer holds an different opinion against the reading material that she prefers the predation theory as the possible explanation for the declination of sea otters while the reading suggests pollution should take the responsibility.
First, the reading passage mentions that chemical pollution along the sea indirectly cause the death of sea otters. However, the lecturer debates that no dead sea otters are found along the coast ever so that the pollution theory is not convincing. Eatting by their predators can perfectly explain why no dead otters are washed to the beach.
Second, the reading passage asserts that the group delication of sea animals indicate the pollution or environment problem should be blame for the vanishing of sea otters. Nevertheless, the lecturer refutes that the sea otters declines because of human hunters so that orca change their eating habit and hunt for sea lions and seals, which in return minimizing the general amount of sea animals.
Third, the reading passage believes the uneven pattern of otter decline is better explained by pollution hypothesis. But the lecturer objects that the pattern evidence can work better to support the predator hypothesis. The differential declination based on location is related to whether or not the habitat of sea otters are accessible for orcas. If it is in predator's hunting range, then otters declines greatly. This also explains the stability of amount for the otters who live in shallow and rocky area which predators are hard to reach.
作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-10-25 21:24
10.24
突然发现无法上传附件，论坛有问题，word文档我待会QQ发给你吧~
群里没找到你QQ，留个邮箱发给你吧~
The lecturer holds an[A1] different opinion against the reading material that she[A2] prefers the predation theory as the possible explanation for the declination of sea otters while the reading suggests pollution should take the responsibility.
First, the reading passage mentions that chemical pollution along the sea indirectly cause [A3]the death of sea otters. However, the lecturer debates that no dead sea otters are found along the coast ever so that the pollution theory is not convincing. Eatting[A4] by their predators can perfectly explain why no dead otters are washed to the beach.
Second, the reading passage asserts that the group delication[A5] of sea animals indicate the pollution or environment problem should be blame [A6]for the vanishing of sea otters. Nevertheless, the lecturer refutes that the sea otters declines because of human hunters so that orca change their eating habit and hunt [A7]for sea lions and seals, which in return minimizing the general amount of sea animals.
Third, the reading passage believes the uneven pattern of otter decline is better explained by pollution hypothesis. But the lecturer objects that the pattern evidence can work better to support the predator hypothesis. The differential declination based on location is related to whether or not the habitat of sea otters are [A8]accessible for orcas. If it [A9]is in predator's hunting range, then otters declines greatly. This also explains the stability of （the）amount for the otters who live in shallow and rocky area which predators are hard to reach.
发现这次写作相比较前面三次是最好的。（好有缘啊，已经批改了那么久了~）听力的关键意思都把握住了，表达也没有歧义，结构也很好，继续保持吧！另外只有稍许错误。加油吧！
[A1]A
[A2]前文没出现人称，无指代对象
[A3]Causes
[A4]Eating
[A5]Declination
[A6]Blamed
[A7]人类用hunt吧！动物用prey，这是原文词汇
[A8]你指的是differential declination 用is
[A9]这里指代不清，因为前面出现太多名词了
作者: chasedreamabc 时间: 2012-10-25 21:33
你只是占了23号的独立呀，没写综合
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-26 02:21
我填的是独立综合占座, 你没安排我的综合，所以我在更新链接的时候就只留下了独立
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-26 04:47
标题: 10.25 综合
the lecture hels an opposite opinion toward the influence of decreased reading on literatures against the one shown in the reading material. She, the lecturer, respectively turns down the subpoints in the reading passage and she says that the decreasing reading in literature is not mean really that troubling.
First, it is false to say that only the literature is intellectual stimulating. Though there is a declination in the reading of literature, other books such as science fiction, history and political books can stimulate imagination anyway.
Second, the diminishing on reading books does not mean a lower cultural level. Since the cultural variable change nowadays, people now can spend more time on music and movies, which are the types of arts better concerning the contemporary art than books or literature.
Third, it is not the audience to blame for the deduction of literature reading. The writers today are tend to be difficult to understand. Readers from earlier time would not read what the writers write today, either.
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-27 11:06
标题: 10.26 综合
The lecturer and the reading material hold opposite opinion toward the credential of a portrait that whether or not the portrait is depicted for Jane Austen. The lecturer respectively refutes the points provided in the reading part and he believes that the portrait is belong to someone of Austen's relative.
First, the year, which Austen's family gave permission to use it as illustration of letters, is 17 years after Austen's death. Therefore the person who gave the permission had a great chance that he may had never seen Austen when she was young in person. It is uncertain even for them to confirm that the girl in portrait is Austen.
Second, the portrait could belong to one of Austen's relatives and which explains why the girl in the portrait resembles to the sketch of Cassandra. Many of Austen's female cousins and their daughters are young at that time, and it qualifies the year of the portrait being painted.
Third, the portrait is only related to Ozias Humphrey because of his painting style. Another way to judge the year of the painting is based on the different characteristics of the canvass. Research shown that the canvass used for the portrait was sold when Austen was 27-years-old, which in return turned out that Austen could probably not being the girl of the portrait.
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-28 04:26
标题: 10.27 综合
The lecturer partly agree with the point of the reading that selling fossils in commercial market does have some negative effects. However, she believes the advantages of selling fossils outweighs its disadvantages.
First, selling the fossils to commercial increase the exposures to public but not decrease the chance. The lecturer mentions that the opening for market give public museums and schools the opportunity to get the fossils, and then they display the fossils to the public.
Second, the lecturer claims that it is not realistic for scientists to lose access to the discoveries for the fossils. Even the fossil is destined to the commercial market, it is being researched and testified by scientists. All the fossils would pass through the hands of scientists, therefore it is unlikely that the scientists would miss anything about the fossils.
Third, it is true that destroys are being done during the commercialization of fossils, but it provide more opportunities to find more undiscovered fossils. Universities and scientific institutions are more available to get funds for new fossils, and which is more important than studying on the existed data about the surroudings of the fossil.
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-28 05:18
标题: 10.27 独立
10.27
Patience is usually not a good strategy. We should take action now rather than later.
The assertion, which indicates patience is not a good strategy because take action now is much more effective than do it later, is arised by some people, but others, myself included, are not agree. Although the world nowadays encourage no more than effectiveness, it does not mean that we can spare no time on the waiting, also known as showing some patience when it is in need, because patience can help us do the things right.
First and the most important, patience is a good attitude toward trivial tasks. It is true that if we take action immediately, we get more chance of saving time and finish the task eariler. However, this strategy does not always work when we face the trivial tasks. Patience, the good attitude which help us understand the real goal for the task, can facilitate us making a better plan for the process of work, which in return optimizes the effectiveness of work. Take my personal experience for example, I have 4 night exams in one week and I have to finish 2 online homeworks and the daily courses. Sounds impossible and I have to make some sacrifices, right? However, if I could take 10 minutes before I start my daily burdened review, I could have a more thorough understanding of where I am now in my review schedule and what should I do more to finish the task. I use the strategy every time when I face mutiple tasks and it never fails to work. Therefore, the patience of holding up for 10 minutes is more important than taking actions right away.
Second, patience is usually a good strategy especially when we are seeking for external help. As a Chinese old saying goes, “The one who has better patience, the more they can achieve.” It also works on the personal communication. A research shown on Times indicates that given the same conditions for job applicants, the ones who show better abilities in patience, the greater chances they are getting the job in communication- related industries. This is especially true that the one in service industry. For example, the cashier in a cafeteria needs to be patient to ask all the requirements the customer want for his order, otherwise the rush work like making orders right away could cause every one unhappy. The boss would be unsatisfied with the wrong order because the cook has making food based on wrong requests, wasting material and time in results. The customer would be unpleased for the extra waiting time to remake his order. Therefore, the patience is so much in need in such circumstances.
Third and not the least, patience is also a good virtue that displays who you are. When we discribe a person, “patience” is never the bad words for them. In addition, the certain degree of patience also indicates someone who has been well-educated. Waiting in the queue are the best way to display one’s patience and which also demonstrates whether or not he is a sophisticated social animal. The obeying behavior for society manners illustrates that he wants to get respect by showing his respect to other people. Therefore, the patience of showing mutual respect is always a good strategy if we want to survive in the society with dignity.
In all, patience is not go backwards, but to help us settle down the first step more firmly and in right direction, which in return help us make the things right.
35 Mins； 589 words.
作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-10-28 14:44
1027改
The lecturer partly agrees with the point of the reading that selling fossils in commercial market does have some negative effects. However, she believes thatthe advantages of selling fossils outweighs its disadvantages.
First, selling the fossils to commercial increasesthetheir exposures to public but not decrease the chance. The lecturer mentions that the opening for market gives public museums and schools the opportunity to get the fossils, and then they can(对将来的预测)display the fossils to the public.
Second, the lecturer claims that it is not realistic for scientists to lose access to the discoveries for the fossils. Even the fossil is destined to the commercial market, it is being researched and testified by scientists.(fossil需要经过scientist检验，才能到达市场，你这里的这个even 肯面的it is being能表达出来先后关系吗？？我有点没读懂) All the fossils would pass through the hands of scientists, therefore it is unlikely that the scientists would miss anything about the fossils.
Third, it is true that destroys are being done during the commercialization of fossils, but it(同一句话中的两个it指代了不同内容) provides more opportunities to find more undiscovered fossils. Universities and scientific institutions are more available(与get重复)likely to get funds for new fossils, and（and前后连接两个句子，或者两个从句，你这个哪个都不是呀 连词数+1=谓语动词数） which is more important than studying on the existed data about the surroudings of the fossil.
总结：内容，句式变换都很好，但是语法错误有点多，注意单三，复杂句子的语法。
作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-10-28 14:45
1027改
The assertion, which indicates patience is not a good strategy because takeing action now is much more effective than doingit(无所指) later, is arised by some people, but others, myself included, aredo not agree. Although the world nowadays encourages no more than effectiveness, it does not mean that we can spare no time on the waiting, also known as showing some patience when it is in need, because patience can help us do the things right.
First and the most important（还没见过这种表达哈）, patience is a good attitude toward trivial tasks. It is true that if we take action immediately, we willget more chance of saving time and finishing the task eariler. (主将从现)However, this strategy does not always work when we face the trivial tasks. Patience, the good attitude which help us understand the real goal for the task, can facilitate us making a better plan for the process of work, which in return optimizes the effectiveness of work. Take my personal experience for example, I have 4 night exams in one week and I have to finish 2 online homeworks and the daily courses. Sounds impossible and I have to make some sacrifices, right? However, if I could take 10 minutes before I start my daily burdened review, I couldwould have a more thorough understanding of where I am now in my review schedule and what should I(颠倒下) do more to finish the task. I use the strategy every time when I face mutiple tasks and it therefore i never fails to work. Therefore, the patience of holding up for 10 minutes is more important than（than前后最好对称下） taking actions right away.
Second, patience is usually a good strategy especially when we are seeking for external help. As a Chinese old saying goes,“The one who has better patience, the more they can achieve.” It also works on the personal communication. A research shown on Times indicates that given the same conditions for job applicants, the ones who show better abilities in patience,（the better abilities one show in patience,） the greater chances they are getting the job in communication- related industries. This is especially true that the one in service industry.(有点罗嗦，especially in service industry )For example, the cashier in a cafeteria needs to be patient to ask(meet) all the requirements the customer want for his order, otherwise the rush work like making orders right away could(may) cause every one unhappy. The boss would be unsatisfied with the wrong order because the cook has making(made) food based on wrong requests, wasting material and time in results. The customer would be unpleased for the extra waiting time to remake his order. Therefore, the patience is so much in need in such circumstances.
Third and not the least, patience is also a good virtue that displays who you are. When we discribe a person,“patience” is never the bad words for them. In addition, the certain degree of patience also indicates someone who has been well-educated. Waiting in the queue are(is) the best way to display one’s patience and which also demonstrates whether or not he is a sophisticated social animal(哈哈). The obeying behavior for society manners illustrates that he wants to get respect by showing his respect to other people. Therefore, the patience of showing mutual respect is always a good strategy if we want to survive in the society with dignity.
In all, patience is not togo backwards, but to help us settle down the first step more firmly and in right direction, which in return help us make the things right.
逻辑结构好，论点论据都很充分，能在这么短时间写这么多字膜拜哈！就是注意一下一些小的语法错误，而且有的简单的句子不要写得过长，一点愚见，望共同进步嘿嘿@@
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-30 08:20
标题: 10.28 综合
The reading material suggests that salvage logging can benefit the forest as well as economy after the severe fire. However, the lecturer opposes that the method, salvage logging, can result in a long-term damage.
First, the reading part mentions that the salvage logging can make room for new generations of trees. Nevertheless, the lecturer says that moving out the dead trees are not good for the future generation of trees because the dead trees can be decomposed to enrich the soil, while salvage logging only can cause the new growth trees lack of nutrients.
Second, the reading material indicates that salvage logging can reduce the possibility of insect infestation. The lectuer, refutes the reason by saying that the insect infestations, like spruce bark beetle, have never been too serious for around 100 years. In addition, the insect grown on the dead trees feed up the birds, which in return benefits the long run ecosystem in the forest.
Third, the reading passage asserts that salvage logging can bring economic benefits by selling the logs as well as increasing job opportunities. Yet, the lecturer objects that the logs are small and not long enough to sell a sound price, even to cover the cost of cutting them. Besides, salvage logging need helicoptors to maintain, the cost is too high. In addition, the job opportunities caused by salvage logging are usually temporary work, and the work positions are not really open to local people.
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-30 08:45
标题: 10.30 TPO 16
The reading passage points out the three reasons to contribute to the limitations of British archaeology. However, the lecturer gives a resource from the British government in 1990, which larged improve the three areas mentioned in the reading passage.
First, instead of destroying the artifacts during construction, all the constructions must take examinations by archaeologist before its start. If the site is proved to be historical interest, both the local government and the constructers are responsible to preserve the artifacts by either building the constructions around the original site, or documenting the artifacts and make thorough discovery.
Second, although the government is no longer paying for the research on site, the construction companies are in charge of the financial support for the scientific archaeology work. The whole new source of financial funds support the archaeology process.
Third, lots of paid jobs related to archaeology are created by the rules. Three stages of archaeology, uncovering it from the earth, drawing documentations for artifacts, processing the data, are requiring experienced and professional archaeological workers. In fact, the number of professional archaeology workers reaches the top point for the years.
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-10-31 00:45
标题: 10.30 独立
Contributes on an enjoyable vacation, please select one of three selection. Good food, Good location and with good friends to travel.
Vacation, a meaningful activity for human beings because it can help people slow the pace, sense history and stimulate imagination through different types. Good food, good location and good friends to travel with are the three most popular way to contribute on an enjoyable vacation. In my point of view, I choose good friends to travel with.
At the begining, the best memory in our lives are all related to people who we care about. There is no easy way to spend our vacation time except the company of good friends. Think about it, if the vacation does not have any friends, how lonely the trip could it be! Enjoy the delicious food and even post it on facebood to share with good friends are not as wonderful as good friends enjoy the good food together. Good locations are the only places for good friends to make inspiring memory. Nothing is more important than people who are with us during the process of a wonderful vacation.
In addition, good friends can even compensate the some shortage of terrible food or lame places. Good friends are sweet and with them, we can spare our tolerance on the imperfections. That is why people can spend time with friends in a place without interest and still create memorable experience. Hostels provide limited accommendation for young travelers, but with good friends, we certainly can bear some external imperfections. When we travel alone, the whole experience on the vacation is based on the food and location, so even a defected part like lame food would destroy the good mood on vacation.
Also, good friends usually share similar interests, making the vacation even more fun. Imagine this, a group of co- travelers who have different interests tend to enjoy the vacation in different method, like shopping or walking along the historical sites, they do have some problems with satisfying all travelers’ need. However, things are not going to happen on a group of friends who share same interests, they can all enjoy the activities together. This is the experience that either good food or good location can ever give.
In all, good friends to travel with is my key point to choose on vacation.
作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-10-31 14:14
10.30改
Vacation, a meaningful activity for human beings because it can help people slow the pace, sense history and stimulate imagination through different types. Good food, good location and good friends to travel with are the three most popular ways to contribute on an enjoyable vacation. In my point of view, I choose good friends to travel with.
At the begining, the best memory in our lives are all related to people who we care about. There is no easy way to spend our vacation time except the company of good friends. Think about it, if the vacation does not have any friends, how lonely the trip could it be! The way that Enjoy the delicious food and even post it on facebood to share with good friends are(is) not as wonderful as good friends (the way that) enjoy the good food together.(原来那句有语法错误 enjoy are 两个谓语动词 as...as后面的enjoy不能和前面的enjoy平行上，试着改了一下， 楼主可以参考下嘿) Good locations are the only places for good friends to make inspiring memory. Nothing is more important than people who are with us during the process of a wonderful vacation.
In addition, good friends can even compensate the some shortage of terrible food or lame places. Good friends are sweet and with them, we can spare（extend） our tolerance on the imperfections. That is why people can spend time with friends in a place without interest and（but转折好点吧） still create memorable experience. Hostels provide limited accommendation for young travelers, but with good friends, we certainly can bear some external imperfections. When we travel alone, the whole experience on the vacation is based on the food and location, so even a defected part like lame food would destroy the good mood on vacation.
Also, good friends usually share similar interests, making the vacation even more fun. Imagine this, a group of co- travelers who have different interests tend to enjoy the vacation in different method, like shopping or walking along the historical sites, （缺连词）they do have some problems with satisfying all travelers’need. However, things are not going to happen on a group of friends who share same interests, （however是adv.所以此处缺连词）they can all enjoy the activities together. This is the experience that either good food or good location can never give.
In all, good friends to travel with is my key point to choose on vacation.
我在文章中没提到其他两个selection,写的时候就有些迷糊，而楼主每个段落都做了对比，我觉着也挺好的，有待商榷哈，问题1）主体一段的分论点的论据感觉有点不充分2）注意一下一句话中谓语动词书数=连词数+1
作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-10-31 17:01
1030改
The reading passage points out the threereasons to contribute to the limitations of British archaeology. However, thelecturer gives a resource from the British government in 1990, which larged（largely） improve the three areas mentioned in the reading passage.
First, instead of destroying the artifactsduring construction, all the constructions must be takenexaminations by archaeologist before its start. If the site is proved to behistorical interest, both the local government and the constructers areresponsible to preserve the artifacts by either building the constructionsaround the original site, or documenting the artifacts and makeingthorough discovery.
Second, although the government is no longerpaying for the research on site, the construction companies are in charge ofthe financial support for the scientific archaeology work. The whole newsource of financial funds supports the archaeology process.
Third, lots of paidjobs related to archaeology are created by the rules. Three stages ofarchaeology, uncovering it from the earth, drawing documentations for artifacts,processing the data, are requiring(require) experienced and professional archaeologicalworkers. In fact, the number of professional archaeology workers reaches thetop point for the years.
总体没什么大问题，写的很好啦，不过这篇文章的时态是不是需要调整一下，楼主整篇都没用到过去时，但是我觉着应该用过去时，然后还有就是主体二三段我觉着有必要提一下reading passage里面的论点。
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-11-1 00:42
they do have some problems with satisfying all travelers’need. However, things are not going to happen on a group of friends who share same interests, （however是adv.所以此处缺连词）they can all enjoy the activities together. This is the experience that either good food or good location can never give.
In all, good friends to travel with is my key point to choose on vacation.
-- by 会员 小滋滋 (2012/10/31 14:14:34)
谢谢小滋滋的批改，但是however做conj. 的哟。
however [hau'ev?] 
- adv. 无论如何；不管怎样
- conj. 然而；可是
作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-1 09:28
哎呀呀，学了这么长时间一直以为是adv.呢...汗啊...谢谢楼主啦，不好意思给你改错了，嘿嘿
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-11-1 10:38
没事没事，共同进步嘛。
作者: NmgMadman 时间: 2012-11-2 08:58
你10月31号还没写啊楼主= =
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-11-2 09:00
这个。正在努力中，昨天出去Halloween出去玩了。。。
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-11-2 10:04
标题: 10.31 独立
Young people nowadays have no influence on decisions that determine the future of the society as a whole.
The topics around young people are never vanished. When asked about the ongoing uproar involving youth power , most people say young people are too young to make decisions . But I personally think that young people nowadays exert effect on the decisions making that determin the future of society as a whole.
It is the truth that young people are usually underestimated for their shortages. Compared to the experienced elders, the youth sometimes are tend to be more motional and too rush to make the huge decisions. Besides, it is also true that the youth have little impact on lots of decisions because they are less experienced, standing no authority in determinations. Culture has it that experienced people take in charge of significant decisions, yet I consider the understimation as a sterotype and young people nowadays can influence decision making.
A great reformer in recent China once said, and I paraphrase here, that if the youth in country are aggressive and have strong amibion, then the country is tend to be strong in the future. The importance of young people can no longer be emphasised and this is exactly why government inclined to pour resources using on the youth. Youth themselves can influence the decision by impressing decision makers. Take the most common case for example, social networks like facebook and twitter are largely dominated by young people which intensly impact the decision makers that almost all the governments and institutions set account on these social media. Without young people, facebook and twitter can never be something, which is changing the world we are in now.
Except for being the external factor of decision makings, the young can make influencial decision themselves. Every year, the United Nations holds a forum involving excellent youth from different countries and backgrounds to discuss and debate the international eye-catching topics, like environment and war. Voice from the extrordinary young people are heard that they exert direct impact on the decision makings. In addition, young people today are more informative than they do before thanks to the internet. In return, the youth can somehow be more sensitive and more capable for the trivial problems if they are fully prepared. Compared to the elder people, the youth now have more resource to look for, and more energy to support their creative mind. Furthermore, the youth themselves are more aggresive and more ambitious than the elder, so that they can bring renovation to the public. Another specific example is that most of the great people start off their astonishing career when they were young, Mao joined the reform when he was 26-year-old, and Mark Zuckerberg began facebook when he was in university.
In all, the youth can make a difference on future world and so they are doing it now.
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-11-2 10:30
标题: 11. 2 综合 TPO 18
The lecturer expresses her negative attitude toward the three options mentioned in the reading passages which are focus on helping Torreya survive in Northern Florida.
The first option is to rebuild the Torreya in original area. However, the lecturer objects it because it is unlikely to succeed. The lecturer mentions that the microenviornment has already changed because of the larger climate is differential, possibly due to either the global warming or the local drying out.
The second option suggests that move Torreya to another location. Nevertheless, the lecturer go against this idea by giving the outcome from another real case, the migration of Black Nocers. She says that the Black Nocers were so quickly spread that they kill a lot of originated trees, some of which were already endangered, making them distinct. The unexpected outcome appears because of the unbalance of the ecosystem.
The third option is to preserve Torreya in research centers. Nonetheless, the lecturer opposes that to resist a species for seasons, genetical diversity should be assured. Due to the large size of Torreya, there are no capacity to preserve a large amount of Torreya in the research centers and therefore, the option cannot preserve the Torreya to survive in a long term.
作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-2 23:05
等11.2独立
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-11-3 09:58
标题: 11.2 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should buy things made in their own country; even the price is higher than same things made somewhere else.
Intensive boycott against Japanese goods is now prevailing in several part of China due to the complex historical and political conflicts between the two countries, which raises a heated discussion about whether or not people should buy things made in their own country. Since I have learned some basic assumptions about the international trade, I do not agree with the autarky economic growth model.
According to Ricardo, the 19th cententury English neoclassic economist who focus on various aspects on economic phenomenon after the industrial revoltion, trade is good for every aspect of economies. In his Ricardian Model, two countries with similiar technology and resources. Name Home country and Foreign country for the two objects we are going to analysis. Home country can produce 10 units of rice or 20 cars, Foreign country can produce 15 units of rice or 45 cars. It is not hard for us to calculate out the opportunity cost for each country to produce every one unit of rice, and it turns out that Foreign country has aboslute advantage in producing both rice and cars, but Home country has comparative advantage in producing rice. Therefore if the trade should happen, Home country should specialize in producing rice, while Foreign country produce cars. In total, the two countries can enjoy 10 units of rice and 45 cars, and under trade, each country can gain more product than they did in autarky status. Setting a reasonable world or trade price, then the two countries can all better off because their customers can enjoy more good and gain more utility, and workers can also enjoy a higher real wage because their productivity raises as well.
Except for the academic model for example, boycott foreign countries’ goods does not really represent patroit. Instead, the nonsense blocking out can only do harm for the country. As we all know that we can improve the productivity, also known as working efficiency by trading each other’s extra resources at a lower price. Admittedly that the arbitrage give people the chance to achieve specialization but also raise competition. However, competition means everything to the real growth in an ambitious nation and country. Only under the competition, the latest technology can be stimulated, and with the help of high-tech support, profits can be gain in return.
Now that we have already see the benefit from trade for the whole country, let us see more on personal decision with trade and autarky. As a utilitist, I can see no point in boycott because I am a rational person as the textbook defines. Paying more money on similiar product does not make any sense to me. In addition, the protection method such as tariff and quotas only cause deadweight loss in the end that the manipulated method to avoid trade is not working anymore. The more expensive the protected goods becomes, the less people tend to get it.
In all, there would be no other answer heard from a student in international trade but it is good for us to trade and buy stuff at a lower price regardless its country of origin.
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-11-3 10:21
标题: 11.3 综合 tpo 19
A real buzzer goes against the opinions held by the reading passage that he thinks buzz is not anything the reading says.
First, the reading passage indicates that buzzers are paid to tell the lie about the products. However, the lecturer says that buzzers are only hired if they use one certain product and do really think it is worth recommendation. This is exactly the reason why the lecturer is hired as a buzzer.
Second, the reading passage suggests that people are less critical to the words from the buzzers. The lecturer opposes that the statement is definitely not true. People are tend to ask a lot of questions and gather information such as price and services about the product. Once the buzzer cannot answer those questions, the consumers are not going to buy.
Third, the reading passage mentions that the existence of buzzers dampers the trust between people, which is a totally stupid idea in the lecturer's eyes.
He objects the opinion by saying that if the buzzers are not trusted by anyone, no company would hire a buzzer. In addition, the effect of the trust issue should go adverse, for buzzers do tell the truth. Once the consumers enjoyed the fancy benefits, they are more open to people.
作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-3 17:26
11.2改
Intensive boycott against Japanese goods is now prevailing in several part of China due to the complex historical and political conflicts between the two countries, which raises a heated discussion about whether or not people should buy things made in their own country. Since I have learned some basic assumptions about the international trade, I do not agree with the autarky economic growth model.
According to Ricardo, the 19th century English neoclassic economist who focuses on various aspects on economic phenomenon after the industrial revolution, trade is good for every aspect of economies. In his Riparian Model, two countries with (have) similar technology and resources. Name Home country and foreign country for the two objects (没看懂)we are going to analysis. Home country can produce 10 units of rice or 20 cars, foreign country can produce 15 units of rice or 45 cars. It is not hard for us to calculate out the opportunity cost for each country to produce every one unit of rice, and it turns out that Foreign country has absolute advantage in producing both rice and cars, but Home country has comparative advantage in producing rice. Therefore if the trade should happen, Home country should specialize in producing rice, while Foreign country should produce cars. In total, the two countries can enjoy 10 units of rice and 45 cars, and under trade, each country can gain more product than they did in autarky status. Setting a reasonable world or trade price, then the two countries can all better off because their customers can enjoy more good(goods?or better?) and gain more utility, and workers can also enjoy a higher real wage because(两个because不太好，还是due to raising productivity) their productivity raises as well.
Except for the academic model for example, boycott foreign countries’ goods does not really represent patriot. Instead, the nonsense blocking out can only do harm for the country. As we all know that we can improve the productivity, also known as working efficiency by trading each other’s extra resources at a lower price. Admittedly that the arbitrage gives people the chance to achieve specialization but also raises competition. However, competition means everything to the real growth in an ambitious nation and country. Only under the competition, the latest technology can be stimulated, and with the help of high-tech support, profits can be gained in return.
Now that we have already seen the benefit from trade for the whole country, let us see more on personal decision with trade and autarky. As a utilitist, I can see no point in boycott because I am a rational person as the textbook defines. Paying more money on similar product does not make any sense to me. In addition, the protection method such as tariff and quotas only cause deadweight loss in the end that the manipulated method to avoid trade is not working anymore. The more expensive the protected goods becomes, the less people tend to get it.
In all, there would be no other answer heard from a student in international trade but it is good for us to trade and buy stuff at a lower price regardless its country of origin.
好高深，读的好晕呀，嘿嘿，和学术相关的都不太懂，就看了看语法结构错误，注意下细节，今天有好多拼写错误，加油！@@
作者: lmylacoste 时间: 2012-11-3 22:52
The lecturer expresses her negative attitude toward the three options mentioned in the reading passages which are focus on helping Torreya survive in Northern Florida.
The first option is to rebuild(paraphrase,好！) the Torreya in original area. However, the lecturer objects it because it is unlikely to succeed. The lecturer mentions that the microenviornment has already changed because of（because） the larger climate is differential, possibly due to either the global warming or the local drying out.
The second option suggests that move Torreya to another location（不是一句句子哦）. Nevertheless, the lecturer go（goes） against this idea by giving the outcome from another real case, the migration of Black Nocers. She says that the Black Nocers were so quickly spread that they kill a lot of originated trees, some of which were already endangered, making them distinct. The unexpected outcome appears because of the unbalance of the ecosystem.
The third option is to preserve Torreya in research centers. Nonetheless, the lecturer opposes that to resist a species for seasons（什么意思？求讨论！！！）, genetical diversity should be assured. Due to the large size of Torreya, there are no capacity to preserve a large amount of Torreya in the research centers and therefore, the option cannot preserve the Torreya to survive in a long term.
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-11-4 04:04
我用错词叻，不应该用resist，但是应该是help Torreya survive; for seasons 是想说long term的意思，不知道对不对
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-11-4 04:06
是David Ricardo的Model哦，所以叫做Ricardian Model。哥子不要盲目崇拜word自动修改哈。
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-11-4 09:37
标题: 11.4 综合 TPO 20
The lecturer holds a different opinion against what the reading passage has. She says that fire is a key part of the balance of ecological system, therefore "let it burn" policy is basically a good one that brings creative changes after the fire.
First, the reading passage concerns the huge fire in Yellowstone causes a huge damage on trees and vegetation. Nevertheless, the lecturer debates that the fire makes it more possible for diverse vegetation growth. For instance, there are more space for smaller trees to grow.
Second, as the reading passage mentioned, animals are suffered from the fire that large amount of animals are not able to escape, either can they recover because of the damaged habitat. However, the lecturer dabates that the similar situation happens here. Not only does animals recover their population, but also increase the amount. She says the new habitat in the park are suitable for small animals like rabits and hares so that large animals have more abundant food resource and therefore gain the population.
Last, the reading passage points that the fire hamper the local economy by eliminating the tourist attraction. Nevertheless, the lecture disagrees that the situation is not happened. The huge fire is only one-year thing that several factors contribute to such huge fire. Those factors like dry climate and heavy wind are not likely to gather every year. Albeit the huge fire happened before, the tourists would not give up going to Yellowstone park, let alone the economic loss.
作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-4 12:31
11.3改
A real buzzer goes against the opinions held by the reading passage that he thinks buzz is not anything the reading says.
First, the reading passage indicates that buzzers are paid to tell the lie about the products. However, the lecturer says that buzzers are only hired if they use one certain product and do really think it is worth recommendation. This is exactly the reason why the lecturer is hired as a buzzer.
Second, the reading passage suggests that people are less critical to the words from the buzzers. The lecturer opposes that the statement is definitely not true. People are tend to ask a lot of questions and gather information such as price and services about the product. Once the buzzer cannot answer those questions, the consumers are not going to buy.
Third, the reading passage mentions that the existence of buzzers dampers the trust between people, which is a totally stupid idea in the lecturer's eyes.
He objects the opinion by saying that if the buzzers are(were这个是不是应该用虚拟？) not trusted by anyone, no company would hire a buzzer. In addition, the effect of the trust issue should go adverse, for buzzers do tell the truth. Once the consumers enjoyed the fancy benefits, they are more open to people.（时态不对，have enjoyed和will?）
作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-5 09:43
11.4
The lecturer holds a different opinion against what the reading passage has. She says that fire is a key part of the balance of ecological system, therefore "let it burn" policy is basically a good one that brings creative changes after the fire.
First, the reading passage concerns the huge fire in Yellowstone causes a huge damage on trees and vegetation. Nevertheless, the lecturer debates that the fire makes it more possible for diverse vegetation growth. For instance, there are more space for smaller trees to grow.(此处听力原文举了两个例子，我当时也没记全哈，但我觉着应该都写出来比较好)
Second, as the reading passage mentioned, animals are suffered from the fire that（先行词是animal？感觉这个地方用定从不太合适） large amount of animals are not able to escape, either（neither） can they recover because of the damaged habitat. However, the lecturer debates that the similar situation happens here. Not only does animals recover their population, but also increase the amount（ani increase the amount?）. She says the new habitat in the park is suitable for small animals like rabbits and hares so that large animals have more abundant food resources and therefore gain the population.
Last, the reading passage points that the fire hampers the local economy by eliminating the tourist attraction. Nevertheless, the lecture disagrees that the situation is not happened.(亲，这个是不是双重否定变肯定了？直接是你同意上面的situation了？) The huge fire is only one-year thing that several factors contribute to such huge fire. Those factors like dry climate and heavy wind are not likely to gather every year. Albeit the huge fire happened before, the tourists would not give up going to Yellowstone park, let alone the economic loss.
好佩服楼主的句式词法变化呀，我就写不出来，5555，还是注意一下细节吧，例如动词与发起者之间的搭配；而且第一个听里段的听力点不全，再听一下吧@@
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-11-5 11:36
标题: 11.5 综合 TPO 21
The lecturer and the reading passage hold opposite opinions on genetically modified trees. The reading passages suggest that genetic modification brings a lot of benefits, while the lecturer says it brings a problems and costs more.
First, the reading passage indicates that genetically modified trees are more hardier than natural trees. However, the lecturer goes against the viewpoint by pointing out that natural trees would survive a few under the severe conditions like bad climate or insect infection. But the genetically modified trees are not going to survive under the undesigned challenge because they are so uniformed.
Second, the reading passage suggests that genetically modified trees make more profits than natural trees for their rapid growth cycle and high productivity. Nevertheless, the lecturer opposes that because of the uniform in gene, once genetically modified trees got infected, farmers suffer a huge loss. Besides, growing genetically modified trees tends to cost more. According to the law, every time farmers grow the genetically modified trees, they have to pay for the patent company.
Third, the reading passage considers that growing genetically modified trees can protect wild trees. Nonetheless, the lecturer diffuses that genetically modified trees brings anything but benefits to wild trees. She points out that genetically modified trees tend to out compete the wild trees and demand for more resource like soil, sunlight and water, pushing the endangered trees on the edge of extinction.
作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-11-6 21:50
The lecturer and the reading passage hold opposite opinions on genetically modified trees. The reading passages suggests that genetic modification brings a lot of benefits, while the lecturer says it brings a problems and costs more.
First, the reading passage indicates that genetically modified trees are more hardier than natural trees. However, the lecturer goes against the viewpoint by pointing out that natural trees would(can) survive a few under the severe conditions like bad climate or insect infection. But the genetically modified trees are not going to survive under the undesigned challenge because they are so uniformed.
Second, the reading passage suggests that genetically modified trees make more profits than natural trees for their rapid growth cycle and high productivity. Nevertheless, the lecturer opposes that because of the uniform in gene, once genetically modified trees got（get建议嘿） infected, farmers suffer(will suffer) a huge loss. Besides, growing genetically modified trees tends to cost more. According to the law, every time farmers grow the genetically modified trees, they have to pay for the patent company.
Third, the reading passage considers that growing genetically modified trees can protect wild trees. Nevertheless, the lecturer difuses that genetically modified trees brings anything(nothing吧？) but benefits to wild trees. She points out that genetically modified trees tend to out compete with the wild trees and demand for more resource like soil, sunlight and water, pushing the endangered trees on the edge of extinction.
还是要注意细节啦！！单三啦，时态啦，这样会更perfect!@@
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-11-7 01:11
回复一下小滋滋： nonetheless=nevertheless. 是一个挺好的转折词哦。nonetheless 报错 英[n?nð?'les] 美['n?nð?'l?s]
- adv. 尽管如此，但是
- conj. 尽管如此，但是
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-11-8 03:16
标题: 11.6 综合 TPO 22
The lecturer and the reading passage hold opposite opinion toward whether or not the ethanol fuel is the good replacement for gasoline. The lecturer illustrate the benefit of ethanol fuel in three aspects.
First, the reading mentions that burning ethanol will create carbon dioxide, accelerating the global warming. However, the lecturer diffuses the point by saying that using ethanol will not add to global warming, because the process of producing ethanol, growing the plants, can absorb carbon dioxide. In return, carbon dioxide will be decreased if people use ethanol as the replacement of gasoline.
Second, the reading passage points that the amount of food for farm animals will be sacrificed to the large production of ethanol, while the lecturer opposes the point as nonsense. He says that ethanol is produced largely by the part of the plant named cell walls, which is inedible for farm animals. Given to this reason, the amount of food for farm animals will not diminished.
Third, the reading passage indicates that the price of ethanol is too high so that unable to compete with gasoline. Nevertheless, the lecturer rejects that although it is true the tax policy brings advantages to ethanol use, this protection action would not always be needed because with the large production of ethanol, the marginal cost will go down. Related research indicates if the production of ethanol goes up to 4 times as what it is now, the price will plummet fourty percent off.
作者: dreamcece 时间: 2012-11-9 09:15
标题: 11.6 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The way of a person’s dress is an indication of his or her personality or character?
Street snap is not the exclusive right for celebrities anymore that anyone who dresses in specific ways can catch the eyes of paparazzi. There is no doubt that everyone want to make a decent impression on others through first meeting, and the most direct and explicit impression lies in how we dress up ourselves. In my point of view, the way we dress up is an indication of our personalities.
From the very beginning, the way of a person’s dress reflects basic information about that person. Almost every industry has its own dressing code that engineers are in blue jacket suits, nurse are in nurse’s uniform and business people in business professions. With these different kinds of dressing style, we can distinguish people in various types. The usage of costume here is not only for good-looking, but building up confidential and credibility.
Far beyond telling what kind of job does the person do, the way the person dress also indicates several aspects of personalities. The dominant color of the clothes helps us judge whether the person is enthusiasm or not. Besides, the match of clothes is the best way to understand the taste of the person. The fashion shows expand idea that using cloth to illustrate one’s ideas to art even life to the utmost.
In addition, other information is also embedded in how we dress up. Clothing is, rather the reflections of personal preferences, the social name tag for people. For instance, luxuriant cloth indicates someone is wealthy, girly dress on a man implies someone is guy, and even the changing frequency of cloth refers some is aristocrat. A heated TV show named Downton Abbey talks about a story happened in an aristocrat family in 1930s. Ladies and Sir are supposed to change their dress under different circumstances and even the dinner with family requires firmly and decent costume. Along with the manners and the way we talk, costume makes up the first impression about who we are.
In all, it is not enough to say the way of a person’s dress is an indication of personality, but beyond, more implicit information is provided in the way we dress.
作者: lizchang1990 时间: 2012-11-9 21:04
TPO22修改
The lecturer and the reading passage hold opposite opinion(貌似opinions吧) toward whether or not the ethanol fuel is the good replacement for gasoline. The lecturer illustrate(小错误哦illustrates) the benefit of ethanol fuel in three aspects.
First, the reading mentions that burning ethanol will create carbon dioxide, accelerating the global warming. However, the lecturer diffuses the point by saying that using ethanol will not add to global warming, because the process of producing ethanol, growing the plants, can absorb carbon dioxide.(这句话不通,我知道你要说植物成长过程会吸收CO2,但你前面的the process of producing ethanol会吸收CO2? 属逻辑不当) In return, carbon dioxide will be decreased if people use ethanol as the replacement of gasoline.
Second, the reading passage points that the amount of food for farm animals will be sacrificed to the large production of ethanol, while the lecturer opposes the point as nonsense. He says that ethanol is produced largely by the part of the plant named cell walls, which is inedible for farm animals. Given to this reason, the amount of food for farm animals will not diminished.(此段写得很流畅,不错!)
Third, the reading passage indicates that the price of ethanol is too high so that(so that后面可以直接接残句? 后面应该为完整句子吧.建议加个主语在后面) unable to compete with gasoline. Nevertheless, the lecturer rejects that although it is true the tax policy brings advantages to ethanol use, this protection action would not always be needed because with the large production of ethanol, the marginal cost (呵呵,边际成本这次用的很好,不错~)will go down. Related research indicates(建议加that) if the production of ethanol goes up to 4 times as what it is now, the price will plummet forty percent off.(plummet off词组很不错)
换词恰当,除了小小粗心,整体不错,看得出基础扎实.继续加油~~~ 很棒唷!
作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-11-10 21:26
等獨立~
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