标题: 我的综合写作 求赐教 [打印本页] 作者: kris灿 时间: 2012-9-12 17:11 标题: 我的综合写作 求赐教 The reading andthe listening passages have a conflict of opinion about serious problems andlimitations in Britain on the science of archaeology --uncovering and studying old cultural artifacts。 The lecture statesthat in 1990, new rules were adopted in the United Kingdom that had changed thefield of Archaeology, which improved the situation in all areas discussed inthe passage. Professor pointed out of three aspects. Firstly， the rule of the government stated thatbefore any construction project can start, the construction site had to beexamined by archaeologists to see whether there were many valued sites. As theresult of this measure, many archaeologically precious artifacts weren’t be destroyedby builders. Secondly, thepoint of the new published guidelines was any archaeological work about thesite will be paid by the construction company .The government wasn’tresponsible for this part. It was a new financial support. Finally, accordingto the reading passage, it was a hard time for archaeologists to gain a job,which decreased the passion to promoting this career. Archaeologists are notsatisfied with the research funding. However, the new policy increased job andcareer opportunities. A number of archaeologists showed up in this period ofthe Britain. From these kinds of reformation, the archaeology has a thriftydevelopment. 作者: beiyezi 时间: 2012-9-12 17:32 The reading and the listening passages have a conflict of opinion about serious problems and limitations in Britain on the science of archaeology --uncovering and studying old cultural artifacts。 The lecture states that in 1990, new rules were adopted in the United Kingdom that hadhave changed thefield of Archaeology, which have improved the situation in all areas discussed in the passage. Professor pointed out of three aspects.
Firstly， the rule of the government stated that before any construction project can start, the construction sites had to be examined by archaeologists to see whether there werearemany（many可删去） valued sites. As the result of this measure, many archaeologically precious artifacts weren’t won't be destroyed by builders.
Secondly, the point of the new published guidelines was（ the new guidelines claims that）any archaeological work about the site（s） will be paid by the construction company（companies） .The government wasn’t is not responsible for this part. It（指代不明确） was（这些应该都不用过去式吧） a new financial support.
Finally, according to the reading passage, it was a hard time for archaeologists to gain a job,which decreased the passion to promotin（pursuing）this career. Archaeologists are notsatisfied with the research funding. However, the new policy increased job and career opportunities. A number of archaeologists showed up in this period of the Britain. From these kinds of reformation, the archaeology has a thrifty development语言不够流畅，用用模板吧，比较有条理一点，时态应该比较少用过去式的吧 一般都是现在时，作者: kris灿 时间: 2012-9-13 23:04 标题: 9月 13 独立作文 Education is crucial to a student’s future. In the plural society, all kinds of skills we should own. Whether the Colleges or Universities need to offer more courses to students? That’s a hot point for educator for a long time. This view is now being questioned by more and more educator. From my perspective, I prefer to agree that College or Universities should offer more courses to help students for the future before they start to work. There are numerous reasons why I hold confidence on it, and I would explore only a few primary ones here.
In order to survive and thrive in this Just like the personality of independent cannot be developed without experience of living in a hard time outside the campus. We had learned variety of knowledge more than 4 years including art, science, mathematics, essay and so on. However, when we harvest the knowledge, we lost it at the same time. Increasing number of high degree but low action is showing up in society. They don’t know how to have a positive negotiation and communication with others. They don’t know how to deal with some relationships with their partners when they are working. They don’t know how to fight for their rights. In a recent research about the students who had graduated from their university for several years, we can catch the information which leads me to believe that this kind of skill should be trained in the campus.
In the university, a perfect transcript can evidence you are the best or you can win the scholarship. Go back to work, skills instead of your high scores. If you are major in art or business when you are going to graduate, the college provides a computer course to improve your technical ability. The computer skills will enhance your job opportunities or promotion opportunities. Just like etiquette course which is essential for a person in his career. These courses make us more expert and self-confident. To begin with a new life, through these courses which may put us in a favorable position in future job markets.
From the above, generally speaking, why don’t we take some meaningful courses to improve and perfect ourselves for the future challenge?
Now, it is generally accepted that no colleges or universities can educate their students by the time they graduate.作者: kris灿 时间: 2012-9-14 09:14
9月13 TPO18
The reading and the listening passage have a conflict of opinion about protect Torreya from extinction. The professor in the lecture, however, points out that none of these three measures provided by experts are satisfying solutions.
Firstly, the professor disproves the idea in the reading passage that the first option is to reestablish Torreya in the same location in which it thrived for thousands of years, because of global warming led to an increase in overall temperatures in the region or because wetlands throughout Florida have been drained. At this time the option of arrangement is infeasible.
Secondly, the reading passage claims moving Torreya to another different location, which is far from its Florida microclimate. The lecture points out negative effects about relocating Torreya far from where they used to growing up. Well, when we take this step many other plants and trees would in a danger situation or even extinct.
Finally, the professor also debates the third part in the reading regarding preservation of Toreeya in the research centers. It’s convenient but not an effective solution. Because the population of Torreya trees t in the centers will not be able to resist diseases. At the same time, the research centers needs relatively large capability to keep the population of Torreya trees. In other words, the third viewpoints is limited.作者: bonfin 时间: 2012-9-14 21:08
9月13 TPO18 修改
The reading and the listening passage have a conflict of opinion about protect (protecting) Torreya from extinction. The professor in the lecture, however, points out that none of these three measures provided by experts are satisfying solutions.
Firstly, the professor disproves the idea in the reading passage that the first option is to reestablish Torreya in the same location in which it has thrived for thousands of years, because of global warming led to an increase in overall temperatures in the region or because wetlands throughout Florida have been drained. At this time the option of arrangement is infeasible.
Secondly, the reading passage claims moving （to move） Torreya to another different location, which is far from its Florida microclimate. The lecture points out negative effects about relocating Torreya far from where they used to growing up. Well, when we take this step, many other plants and trees would be in a danger situation or even extinct.
Finally, the professor also debates the third part in the reading regarding preservation of Toreeya in the research centers. It’s convenient but not an effective solution. Because the population of Torreya trees t in the centers will not be able to resist diseases. At the same time, the research centers needs (need) relatively large capability to keep the population of Torreya trees. In other words, the third viewpoints (viewpoint) is limited.
【纯属个人意见，欢迎批判！】 [attach]106281[/attach]作者: kris灿 时间: 2012-9-15 19:19
谢谢 ，算是入门级选手 感谢批改^^作者: kris灿 时间: 2012-9-15 22:35
Some people think university professors should spend more time doing research while others think they should spend more time educating students. What is your view?
As for me, I’m in favor of the opinion that university professors should spend more time in educating students. It is different between high school and university. In the university via a professor’s teaching, students can not only improve their academic studies, but also gain much experience and instruction, which they will never be able to get from the textbook.
If professors devote much more time and energy to their research, they won’t pay more attention to teaching. In other words, universities and colleges should establish close contact with scientific research institution to improve and take appropriate measures to improve teaching. University isn’t equal to research institution. For my part, I think professors who are teaching in the college shouldn’t regard research awards as their ultimate goals. University must orient students to take improving teaching quality as its mission and striving goal. Although it must be noted that attaining knowledge must be done by a person himself, professors are critical to students.
Secondly, you can easily find many advantages of studying with a professor. You will encounter fewer difficulties and blocks with a professor’s guidance. By discussing with professors we can gain some information we never touched before. More importantly, professors can help us develop commendable learning and thinking habits. Needless to say, we can benefit a lot from professor’s profound knowledge and diverse experience of the subject.
The last point, the university is the significant position that develops a person with ability. Therefore the professor can develop the students to boot the development of science and technology. Cultivating numbers of outstanding talents is also an effective way for research.
From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw a conclusion that the essential of the university are students, the professor should develop the students’ ability, and caring about student’s education.作者: shatong424 时间: 2012-9-16 22:02 Some people think university professors should spend more time doing research while others think they should spend more time educating students. What is your view?
As for me, I’m in favor of the opinion that university professors should spend more time in educating students.It is different between high school and university.There is difference between school and university.（病句，sth is different from sth. 亦或是，there is a difference between A and B) In the university via a professor’s teaching, students can not only improve their academic studies, but also gain much experience and instruction, which they will never be able to get from the textbook. 第二句可以删掉，与题目没有太大关系。
If professors devote much more time and energy to their research, they won’t would（虚拟语气）pay more attention to teaching. In other words, universities and colleges should establish close contact with scientific research institution to improve and take appropriate measures to improve teaching （啰嗦，to improve teaching properly.). University isn’t equal to research institution. For my part, I think professors who are teaching in the college shouldn’t regard research awards as their ultimate goals.UniversityUniversities must orient students to take improving teaching quality as its mission and striving goal.（语言和逻辑上的病句，教学质量作为大学的任务和努力奋斗的目标，大学一定要引导学生去提高教学质量。这句话应该是In light of universities, professors must be oriented towards the advancement of teaching quality which are fairly regarded as basic mission and striving goal.）Although it must be noted that attaining knowledge must be done by a person himself, professors are critical to students.( 问题同上一句， 自己翻译成中文） Problem:第一句话不适合当成分论点，不能支撑中心论点，没有例子。而且一直再说自己的观点，没有细节和例子支持它。还有段内之间逻辑关系混乱， 建议翻译成中文，读一遍。内容与应该主题有密切的联系.而且the coherence between sentences 也没有做到。 Advice:建议多多积累表达，然后，一些词的固定搭配建议和用词多多注意，这一点朗文英英词典或者牛津高阶里都会有每个词的一些特殊用法。多读一些范文而且分析文章的结构，语言，内容 Secondly,you can easily find many advantages of studying with a professor.（professors' teaching are beneficial to the students' learning.) You will encounter fewer difficulties and blocks with a professor’s guidancebe blocked by the professor's guidance(被教授的指导所牵绊？）. By discussing with professors we（前面一直说是you,现在又是we,人称问题) can gain some information we never touched before., and more importantly, professors assist us to develop commendable learning and a kind of critical thinking.More importantly, professors can help us develop commendable learning and thinking habits. Needless to say, we can benefit a lot from professor’s profound knowledge and diverse experience of the subject. Problem：问题和上面一段一样，
The last point, the university is the significant position that develops a person with ability（搭配,develop personal ability of students,逻辑问题 地方提高人的能力，也该这么说where students are motivated to advance their conprehensive abilities). Therefore the professor can develop the students to boot the development of science and technology. Cultivating numbers of outstanding talents is also an effective way for research.
From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw a conclusion that the essential of the university are students, the professor should develop the students’ ability, and caring about student’s education. Advice: No.1：字数，大概看了一下，建议多写一些。 OG要求300以上，这篇刚好302个字，一定要add much more details.. No.2: 文章结构尤其要注意，introduction: 摆出你的观点， body: 分论点1 2 3，支持句，细节和例子。 ending: 重申一下你的观点 或者总结。 这是基本的框架 No.3: 内容和逻辑上，建议在写之前打一个提纲。想好文章的脉络在写。 作者: shatong424 时间: 2012-9-16 22:06
那个我今天真的特别忙，先帮你看到这儿 最后两段没太仔细看，等今天凌晨在帮你瞧瞧作者: shatong424 时间: 2012-9-17 00:13
你也帮我改改作文，谢啦~作者: kris灿 时间: 2012-10-25 20:24
10月24 综合
The reading passage explores the focus on the issue of pollution is the cause of the decline sea otter populations off the Alaskan coast. The professor's lecture deals with the same topic. However, which contradicts what the reader's states in the reading passage. And in the lecture, she uses three specific points to support her view.
To begin with, even though the reading passage suggests that there were known pollution sources along the Alaskan coast, the professor argues in the lecture that there has no evidence about otter death caused by life-threatening infection and little dead otters not suit for this condition. Evenly less dead otters provide these otters dead caused by predator. If caused by infection the number of the dead otters should be a lot.
Moreover, despite the statement in the reading that seals, sea lions along the Alaskan coast were also decline because of the pollution, however, professor contends that some of the predators have are the key reason for otters death. She support her point with, orcas used to prefer whales; because of pople’s hunting, the whales decreased, which leads orcas hunts other food like otters. in other words, which also provide the predator are the reason.
Finally, the professor asserts that orcas cannot moving to some rocky and shallow location which made the uneven concentration of the otters. Even though, the reading passage points the pollution uneven in different areas.
In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weakness in the reading passage and convincingly shows that central argument in the reading three reasons for otter's decline is unconvincing.作者: 小滋滋 时间: 2012-10-25 22:20 1024改 The reading passage explores the focus on the issue of that pollution is the cause of the decline sea otter populations(decresing populations of sea otters) off the Alaskan coast. The professor's lecture deals with the same topic. However, which contradicts what the reader's states in the reading passage.(这句话没有主句，是不是想把两句话合成一句？) And in the lecture, she uses three specific points to support her view.
To begin with, even though the reading passage suggests that there were known pollution sources along the Alaskan coast, the professor argues in the lecture that there hasis no evidence about otter death(换下位置吧) caused by life-threatening infection and little dead otters not suit for this（无所指） condition. Evenly less dead otters provide these otters dead（otters是主语，dead是谓语？如果这样，provide后应该加that,那caused作为n.后置定语在这使用错误） caused by predator. If caused by infection the number of the dead otters should be a lotincreased.
Moreover, despite the statement in the reading that seals, sea lions along the Alaskan coast were also decline because of the pollution, however,(一句话中不能同时使用despite和however) professor contends that some of the predators have are the key reason for otters death. She supports her point with, orcas used to prefer whales; because of people’s hunting, the whales decreased, which leads orcas hunts other food like otters. in other words, which also provide the predator are the reason.(没看明白？)
Finally, the professor asserts that orcas cannot moving to some rocky and shallow location which made the uneven concentration of the otters. Even though（句子的谓语动词数=连词数+1，因此这句话缺少主句）, the reading passage points the pollution uneven in different areas.
In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weakness in the reading passage and convincingly shows that central argument in the reading of three reasons in the reading for otter's decline is unconvincing.
