ChaseDream

标题: 付图图的作文帖求调教！！求蹂躏！！ [打印本页]

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-8-30 21:19
标题: 付图图的作文帖求调教！！求蹂躏！！
8-31日正式开始
求大神蹂躏我的作文
下面一篇是我瞎写的

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

Universities and colleges are fantastic places where students pursue further study and develop their interests as well as abilities. Classes and libraries provide the knowledge for study or research while sports and social activities offer other possibilities to students' careers. From my perspective, these two aspects are equally important, thus they should receive equal attention and financial support.

If a university or college were equipped with advanced research facilities and experienced professors but no playground or court, it wouldn't be considered as a top school.Stanford has been universally acknowledged as the top universities in the world, and it's basketball team is one of the best teams among American universities. This university has done a lot to encourage their students to engage in different sports, and some of their athletes stand out, which in turn gains fame for Stanford.

The universities, which teach their students different talent and skills and make them outstanding in several fields, can be regarded as good universities. Tim Duncan, a distinguished center in NBA, graduated from Wake Forest University with a psychology degree. He didn't choose to continue his career in psychology but has been playing basketball for Spurs since his graduation. So excellently he shows the dominance as a center on basketball court that most people fail to remember his psychological background. At present, basketball is his whole life. However, several years later when he has to retire, he can choose to be a psychological doctor as his second job.Wake Forest University provided Tim Duncan the opportunity to continue his basketball career, without which he might have not been worldwide known.

Admittedly, sports and social activities play important roles in universities and colleges, classes and libraries have their own significance. You can imagine what the world would be if all universities and colleges no longer place the emphasis on academic research and libraries. In that case, the whole country would fall. In a word, science and technologies are the main two factors used to evaluate one nation’s power.

To conclude, the government should finance equally in classes and libraries as well as sports and social activities.

作者: CCcarol 时间: 2012-8-30 22:04
来顶一个先~

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-8-30 22:10
哈哈谢谢

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-8-31 16:48
8月31日
综合写作：
TPO5
The reading material provides us three possible explanations about the function of the great houses which distinguish the settlements of Chaco Canyon in New Mexico. The lecturer, however, holds the view that none of these explanations are convincing for the following three aspects respectively.
First, the houses cannot have been for residential use due to the lack of fireplaces. These houses indeed look like apartments outside. However, the absence of fireplaces negates this explanation because without fire to cook, people couldn't manage to live through.
Second, the grand houses cannot have been used for food storage either. Despite the fact that the grain maize, a long-lasting supply of food, could be stored for long time without going bad, there were no signs of split grains or huge containers. In other words, people at that time didn't store food in these houses.
Third, the enormous mound formed by a pile of old material doesn't necessarily mean that the houses served as a ceremonial function. Besides the pots, building materials such as sand and stone were also found, which indicates that there may not be any ceremonies. The old material could be the mixture of construction trash as well as pots which were thrown away by workers.

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-8-31 16:49
8月31日
独立写作
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People who go out from their village will be more successful and happier than people who stay in their village?

The definitions of success and happiness vary from person to person. For most people from villages, success is the symbol of contributing a lot to the society along with making loads of money. And that makes them feel happy and satisfied in their daily life. The twenty-first century has been witnessing the flood of villagers from their hometown to big cities. Some of them do very well while others don’t. The problem is: can every villager be devoted to work and achieve the success and gain the happiness here? In that sense, I prefer this issue to be discussed respectively in three parts: competent and diligent villagers, lazy villagers and ambitious but undetermined villagers.
Big cities provide numerous opportunities as well as challenges for everyone. Cities demand people from every field to keep it running efficiently. Some people are excellent in cooking and a restaurant may be an ideal place for them; those who are physically strong may be needed in a construction site; people gifted for performances are in the need of plays and TV programs. In a word, they have a clear sense of his guts and instinct. As long as they keep their envisions intact, there are always positions where they can fly high on the success as well as earn a huge amount of money. And that in turn makes them successful and happy. They are welcomed to big cities.
However, quite a few villagers are aimless, detracted, and ambitionless. They come into metropolis for the only reason that they are too lazy to work in the fields. So they are forced to leave their hometown without a goal. In big cities where the survival is for the fittest, everyone has his own craft. Therefore, they fail to protect their livelihood. It is likely that they are pushed to sidelines with nothing they can do about it. They would not be in such a dilemma if they didn't go to big cities. But they cannot live a good life in the village or anywhere either.
For villagers who are eager to achieve something but lack persistence, going to big cities is not a wise choice either. Indeed, these people are able to find decent jobs and make some money. However, their salaries are insufficient to pay for the rent of apartments because the house prices have been skyrocketing for the past three years in big cities. Thus, it is likely that they do their best but cannot have a good life here. So expensive the apartments and commodities are that their quality of life decreases dramatically. The cruelty of reality deprives them of their possibilities of living in big cities, but most of them are reluctant to go back because they still want to pursue a better life here instead of being a laughing stock of other villagers. The difference between the requirements of living and their abilities blocks their way. For these people, living and working in their hometown is the best choice.
To sum up, I hold the view that whether one villager can be successful and happiness depends on how hard-working and competent he is. After all, big cities are places where the survival is for the fittest.

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-9-1 00:38
绿色为总结红色为错误蓝色为建议黄色高亮为精彩
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People who go out from their village will be more successful and happier than people who stay in their village?

The definitions of success and happiness vary from person to person. For most people from villages, success is the symbol of contributing a lot to the society along with making loads of money. And that makes them feel happy and satisfied in their daily life. The twenty-first century has been witnessing the floods of villagers from their hometown to big cities. Some of them do very well while others don’t. The problem is: can every villager be devoted to work and （一个句子里面只能有一个and，这里最好改成逗号）achieve the success and gain the happiness here? In that sense, I prefer this issue to be discussed respectively in three parts: competent and diligent villagers, lazy villagers and ambitious but undetermined villagers.

Big cities provide numerous opportunities as well as challenges for everyone. Cities demand people from every field to keep it running efficiently. Some people are excellent in cooking and a restaurant may be an ideal place for them; those who are physically strong may be needed in a construction site; people gifted for performances are in the need of plays and TV programs. In a word, they have a clear sense of his（这两个代词分别指什么？没说明白） guts and instinct. As long as they keep their envisions intact（LZ这里想说的是第一类人把？我觉得这个词用得和dilligent.competent不是很一致，LZ可以再明确一点用更相近的词。毕竟阅卷老师没有太多时间去琢磨～）, there are always positions where they can fly high on the success as well as earn a huge amount of money. And that in turn makes them successful and happy. They are welcomed to big cities.

However, quite a few villagers are aimless, detracted, and ambitionless. They come into metropolis for the only reason that they are too lazy to work in the fields. So they are forced to leave their hometown without a goal. In big cities where the survival is for the fittest, everyone has his own craft. Therefore, they fail to protect their livelihood. It is likely that they are pushed to sidelines with nothing they can do about it（with nothing to do）. They would not be in such a dilemma if they didn't go to big cities. But they cannot live a good life in the village or anywhere either.（这句话虽然说得不错，但是和题目不是很有联系，还是应该删掉得好）

For villagers who are eager to achieve something but lack persistence, going to big cities is not a wise choice either. Indeed, these people are able to find decent jobs and make some money. However, their salaries are insufficient to pay for the rent （for paying the rent) of apartments because the house prices have been skyrocketing for the past three years in big cities. Thus, it is likely that they do their best but cannot have a good life here. So expensive the apartments and commodities are (are the。。。that。。这句型应该这么用的）that their quality of life decreases dramatically. The cruelty of reality deprives them of their possibilities of living in big cities, but most of them are reluctant to go back because they still want to pursue a better life here ~~instead of being a laughing stock of other villagers~~（我觉得这个有点偏激了，还是不要吧？每个人留在城市的原因不一样，不是只有这一种～～）. The difference（用gap更准确点吧） between the requirements of living （加in big cities ）and their abilities blocks their way. For these people, living and working in their hometown is the best choice.

To sum up, I hold the view that whether one /a villager can be successful and happiness depends on how hard-working and competent he is. After all, big cities are places where the survival is for the fittest. （only the fittest can survive更顺点）
（
总的来说你的思路不错，不过托福其实比较喜欢一边倒，你可以自己抉择一下。我是觉得形式不是最主要的，关键是内容好不好吧。另外词汇和句型也不错，就是有些地方可以稍微简化一点，更精准一点。
然后就是有些不相关的内容记得要果断舍弃掉啊。总之第一篇能写成这样已经很好了XD～继续加油吧！！

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-9-1 06:58

Thereading material provides us three possible explanations about the function ofthe great houses, which （which 最好断句，要不然就用that）distinguishthe settlements of Chaco Canyon in New Mexico. The lecturer, however, holds theview that none of these explanations are convincing for the following threeaspects respectively.

First, thehouses cannot have been for residential use due to the lack of fireplaces.These houses indeed look like apartments from the outside.However, the absence of fireplaces negates this explanation because withoutfire to cook, people couldn't manage to live through.

Second,the grand houses cannot have been used for food storage either. Despite thefact that the grain maize, a long-lasting supply of food, could be stored forlong time without going bad, there were no signs of split grains or hugecontainers. In other words, people at that time didn't store food in thesehouses.

Third, the enormous mound formed by a pile of oldmaterial doesn't necessarily mean that the houses served as a ceremonialfunction. Besides the pots, building materials such as sand and stone were alsofound, which indicates that there may not be any ceremonies. The old materialcould be the mixture of construction trash as well as pots that ~~which~~ was thrown away by workers.
我觉得写的很好，用了很多不常用的词，并且没有太多模板的痕迹。加油！因为语法部分我也不是很懂，可是我觉得第二段和第三段都是过去完成时，第四段是过去时，最好都用一个时态。

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-1 21:30
标题: 谢谢sherry
那个第一段你改的which后面distinguish应该变成单数，我大意了。。
第二第三段没有用过去完成时。。。都是过去时
最后一段that 和which都可以的

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-1 21:31
遇到两个单词间没有空格的情况可能是论坛的原因
9月1日
综合写作：
TPO6
The reading material argues that the communal online encyclopedias have three main drawbacks which make it inferior to traditional printed ones. The lecturer, however, holds the view that the reasons given by the reading are not convincing in the three following aspects.
First, neither of the two kinds of encyclopedias is perfect and there will never be. When errors may exist in both of them, the communal online version is better than the other because its errors can be corrected more easily. And it will be ages when the errors in traditional one are corrected.
Second, the online encyclopedia is not so prone to being fabricated, deleted or corrupted by hackers. All the materials are in read-only format which indicates that only authorized people can change them. Besides, special editor are available to monitor the changes of encyclopedias. They can correct them as soon as they were viciously edited.
Third, the communal online encyclopedias are able to provide insightful views rather than trivia from experts. The limited space on the webpages makes the group of academics to express their insightful opinions with fewer words. Besides, experts from different fields are good at providing diversified angles towards the topics. Therefore, the communal online encyclopedias have both a great diversity as well as insightful views.

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-2 15:27
标题: 9.2独立写作第一稿
9.2 独立写作：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to relax oneself by a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise.

Most of us have to be exposed to increasingly fierce competition either at work or at school due to the raised expectations from bosses or parents. What is even worse is that sometimes we inevitably hit the wall hard and feel devastated. Thus, relaxation seems much more important than ever before for the simple reason that it refreshes us, allows us to work more effectively as well as shakes things up. Personally, I prefer to have sports rather than watch movies or read books for the following reasons.
Engaging in sports means living a healthier life both physically and mentally. It is not rear in our life that we are pushed to the sidelines but we don't know how to solve the problems. Things may not go well if we just sit there and twist our brains. Wandering or jogging outside is a good idea because when we do that, we can also take in fresh air which helps us think. Then lights may go off and solutions come to our minds. At the same time, our strength is enhanced and we free ourselves from headaches, which benefits us physically and mentally.
Not only does sport exert favorable influences on our health, but it also plays an important role in our social life. When we throw ourselves in the swimming pools where there are lots of people, we are able to make new friends and chat with them. Or when we play soccer in a team, we are likely to use body languages or words to convey our thoughts. Those are other possible ways for us to forget our tedious and stressful work. What is more important is that we may stumble on good advice or hints about our jobs from other teammates.
Admittedly, reading books and watching movies are not bad ways to relieve ourselves. However, we are not sure that we pick up the right book or movie before we start. We will definitely feel more miserable instead of released if we watch a movie like The Titanic or read a book about deception. Only after reading or watching can we realize whether they are suitable for us. Therefore, books and movies don’t work as effectively as sports.
To sum up, I would like to choose having sports as a way to relax because it promotes my socialization as well as health simultaneously.

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-2 15:28
9月2日
综合写作：
TPO7
The reading material opposes adopting new, ecologically friendly practices to receive ecocertification for American companies. The lecturer, however, holds the view that it does have its benefits for the following three reasons.
First, Americans are able to see the difference among advertisements. Although quite a few advertisements which are aimed to stimulate the consumption of products are shown every day, American people are still willing to trust advertisements about ecocertification.
Second, the price of wood will only affect the market if it is either too high or too low. The customers will not care about the price if the differences between different kinds of wood are within 5 percent. They place more emphasis on the value rather than how much it costs.
Third, international companies will crowd in American market if American companies don't pursue certification. As mentioned above, American people are eager to buy ecocertified wood to benefit the environment. If so, lots of profit will go into the pockets of people from other countries, which Americans don't want to see. Therefore, it is necessary that Americans take actions to protect their market.

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-2 19:19
标题: 9.1 独立写作第一稿。。昨天难受所以今天才写的求大神指点
9.1独立写作

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to succeed, you should be more like others than be different from everyone else.

Everyone has his own definition of success, but I think being a guru such as Steve Jobs and a superstar such as Kobe Bryant can absolutely be regarded as a sign of success. It is their uniqueness that makes them stand out from ordinary people. Thus, I argue that being different from others enables one to achieve success.

When we mention Steve Jobs, his unique and even eccentric personalities come to our mind. He is dictatorial, tough, notoriously difficult to work for. Before IPhone came out, he demanded that the thickness of IPhone be less and less, which drove his entire staff mad. He wanted to increase the level of brightness of Ipad more and more no matter what difficulties they were confronted. Those seem incredible and crazy, without which those gadgets would have never come into existence or changed our lives. Steve was in chase of simplicity, humanization and perfection. His ripping into others even sets up enemies for him. But with those unique personalities, the Apple products are able to blow away the market every time when a new product comes out. Steve's intolerance to be mediocre along with his perseverance helps him to accomplish such feats.

Another man, Kobe Bryant, also has something different which made him a superstar-his ambition as well as revenge. Influenced by his father, Kobe has attached his great affection to basketball since he was three. After that, his ambition and craziness were out of control. He threw himself in the basketball courts and gyms and trained like torture. He used to start training at seven in the morning and go home at nine in the evening all on his own. If you managed to beat him in a game, which sounds impossible, he would work harder and harder to beat you the next time. It is the amazingly huge ambition which ordinary people lack that make Kobe outstanding.

Admittedly, Steve and Kobe have something special, but that does not mean that special people are bound to be equally successful as them. Quite a few teenagers just look unique and even weird: they dye their hair pink or green, or have their ears and mouths pierced, or even cover their bodies with tattoos. Those are all about extrinsic uniqueness, but what makes Steve and Kobe going is the intrinsic. Their intrinsic uniqueness, with the help of their talent and diligence, determines their great achievements.

To sum up, I would like to say that we should develop more unique personalities to succeed like Steve Jobs and Kobe Bryant. These personalities which make them the success distinguish them from the public and even other less successful people.

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-2 21:14
标题: 9.1 独立写作第三稿。。第二稿丢了
Everyone has his own definition of success, but I think being a guru such as Steve Jobs and a superstar such as Kobe Bryant can absolutely be regarded as a sign of success. It is their uniqueness that makes them stand out from ordinary people. Thus, I argue that being different from others enables one to achieve success.

When we mention Steve Jobs, his amazing creativity and eccentric personalities come to our mind. He is dictatorial, tough, notoriously difficult to work for but full of new ideas. Before IPhone came out, he demanded that the thickness of IPhone be less and less, which drove his entire staff mad. On the iphone’s launch event in 2007, the world was dazzled by this sexy and functional gadget and it later on turned out to be a huge success. IPhone facilitates our life, making it easier for us to enjoy music privately. But here is a problem. Many users download the pirate versions of music, depriving the profits of singers and composers. Steve then invented the App store where users get a song for one dollar each to perfectly solve the problem. He was in chase of simplicity, humanization and perfection all the time. His ripping into others even sets up enemies for him. But with creativity and unique personalities, the Apple products are able to blow away the market every time when a new product comes out. Steve's intolerance to be mediocre along with his creativity helps him to accomplish such feats.

Another man, Kobe Bryant, also has something different which made him a superstar-his ambition as well as revenge. Influenced by his father, Kobe has attached his great affection to basketball since he was three. After that, his ambition and craziness were out of control. He threw himself in the basketball courts and gyms and trained like torture. When asked about how he became a superstar, Kobe said he knows exactly what the Los Angeles City like in four o’clock in the morning. Besides, if someone managed to beat him in a game, which sounds impossible, he would work harder and harder to beat him the next time. It is the amazingly huge ambition and extraordinary endurance which ordinary people lack that make Kobe outstanding.

Admittedly, Steve and Kobe indeed have something special, but that does not mean that special people are bound to be equally successful as them. Quite a few teenagers merely look unique and even weird: they dye their hair pink or green, or have their ears and mouths pierced, or even cover their bodies with tattoos. Those are all about extrinsic uniqueness, but what makes Steve and Kobe going is the intrinsic. Their intrinsic uniqueness, with the help of their creativity and hard work, determines their remarkable achievements.

To sum up, I would like to say that we should develop more unique personalities to succeed like Steve Jobs and Kobe Bryant. It is these personalities that make them the success distinguish them from the public.

作者: Stegosaurus 时间: 2012-9-2 23:32
9.1 综合修改
我错了，我把分组情况给搞错了。。。。。。。。。。。

The reading material argues that the communal online encyclopedias have three main drawbacks which make it inferior to traditional printed ones. The lecturer, however, holds the view that the reasons given by the reading are not convincing in the three following aspects.
First, neither of the two kinds of encyclopedias is perfect and there will never be. When errors may exist in both of them, the communal online version is better than the other because its errors can be corrected more easily. And it will be ages when the errors in traditional one are corrected.
Second, the online encyclopedia is not so prone to being fabricated, deleted or corrupted by hackers. All the materials are in read-only format which indicates that only authorized people can change them. Besides, special editor are available to monitor the changes of encyclopedias. They can correct them as soon as they were viciously edited.
Third, the communal online encyclopedias are able to provide insightful views rather than trivia from experts. The limited space on the webpages makes the group of academics to express their insightful opinions with fewer words. Besides, experts from different fields are good at providing diversified angles towards the topics. Therefore, the communal online encyclopedias have both a great diversity as well as insightful views.

第三段观点有点问题好像，听力说的是variety，真实和反映了人们的兴趣，没有关于insightful views的
全篇没有什么大的语法错误，还是很好的

作者: safeandsound 时间: 2012-9-3 09:06
标题: 9-2 作文批改
Most of us have to be exposed to increasingly fierce competition either at work or at school due to the raised expectations from bosses or parents. What is even worse is that (Worse still,) sometimes we inevitably hit the wall hard and feel devastated.(竞争激烈和失落是递进关系吗？觉得有点别扭) Thus, relaxation seems much more important than ever before for the simple reason that it refreshes us, allows us to work more effectively as well as shakes things up. Personally, I prefer to have (play) sports rather than watch movies or read books for the following reasons.

Engaging in sports means living a healthier life both physically and mentally. It is not rear (rare) in our life that we are pushed to the sidelines but we don't know how to solve the problems. Things may not go well if we just sit there and twist our brains. Wandering or jogging outside is a good (better) idea, because when we do that, we can also take in fresh air which helps us think. Then lights may go off(弱弱的问一下，这个短语是什么意思？) and solutions come to our minds. At the same time, our strength is enhanced and we free ourselves from headaches (这个应该和上文所说的“帮助思考”在同一层面上的吧、、不应该是at the same time; 最好改成Besides freeing ourselves from headaches/problems, our strength is enhanced at the same time), which benefits us physically and mentally (如果上一句改了的话，顺序也应变成mentally and physically).

Not only does sport exert favorable influences on our health, but it also plays an important role in our social life. (过渡句很好

)When we throw ourselves in the swimming pools where ~~there are~~ lots of people (are 不知道这样改对不对,但原来的说法觉得不是很正确

), we are able to make new friends and chat with them. Or when we play soccer in a team, we are likely to use body languages or words to convey our thoughts. Those are other possible ways for us to forget our tedious and stressful work. What is more important is that we may stumble on good advice or hints about our jobs from other teammates.(亲，加个总结会不会更好呢?像上一段似的、、)

Admittedly, reading books and watching movies are not bad ways to relieve ourselves. However, we are not sure that we pick up the right book or movie before we start. We will definitely feel more miserable instead of released if we watch a movie like The Titanic or read a book about deception(举个例子是不是更好？类似Macbeth). Only after reading or watching can we realize whether they are suitable for us. Therefore, books and movies don’t work as effectively as sports.

To sum up, I would like to choose having sports as a way to relax because it promotes my socialization as well as health simultaneously.

总体来说不错

很多短语用的很地道、准确，一看就是积累过的

第一段相对之后的论述有点长了，可以缩短一些，或给后文增加字数
有些小地方逻辑不太对，但不影响理解，应该没什么大碍

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-3 09:45
标题: 9.2独立写作第二稿
Most of us have to be exposed to increasingly fierce competition either at work or at school due to the raised expectations from bosses or parents. Worse still（这个改的好）, sometimes we inevitably hit the wall hard and feel devastated(这个词有点太过了，depressed可能更好). Thus, relaxation seems much more important than ever before for the simple reason that it refreshes us, allows us to work more effectively as well as shakes things up. Personally, I prefer to have sports rather than watch movies or read books for the following reasons.

Engaging in sports means living a healthier life both physically and mentally. It is not rare（拼写错误） in our life that we are pushed to the sidelines but we don't know how to solve the problems. Things may not go well if we just sit there and twist our brains. Wandering or jogging outside is a good idea because when we do that, we can also take in fresh air which helps us think. Then lights may go off and solutions come to our minds. Besides(一开始用得连接词不太好), our strength is enhanced and we free ourselves from headaches, which benefits us physically and mentally.

Not only does sport exert favorable influences on our health, but it also plays an important role in our social life. When we throw ourselves in the swimming pools where there are lots of people, we are able to make new friends and chat with them. Or when we play soccer in a team, we are likely to use body languages or words to convey our thoughts. Those are other possible ways for us to forget our tedious and stressful work. What is more important is that we may stumble on good advice or hints about our jobs from other teammates. Therefore, sports may relax ourselves and promote our efficiency by allowing us to make friends.（加个总结句）

Admittedly, reading books and watching movies are not bad ways to relieve ourselves. However, we are not sure that we pick up the right book or movie before we start. We will definitely feel more miserable instead of released if we watch a movie like The Titanic or read The tragedy of Helmet(与泰坦尼克对应，悲剧，让人心情沉痛的). Only after reading or watching can we realize whether they are suitable for us. Therefore, books and movies don’t work as effectively as sports.

To sum up, I would like to choose having sports as a way to relax because it promotes my socialization as well as health simultaneously.

Most of us have to be exposed to increasingly fierce competition either at work or at school due to the raised expectations from bosses or parents. What is even worse is that (Worse still,) sometimes we inevitably hit the wall hard and feel devastated.(竞争激烈和失落是递进关系吗？觉得有点别扭) Thus, relaxation seems much more important than ever before for the simple reason that it refreshes us, allows us to work more effectively as well as shakes things up. Personally, I prefer to have (play) sports rather than watch movies or read books for the following reasons.

Engaging in sports means living a healthier life both physically and mentally. It is not rear (rare) in our life that we are pushed to the sidelines but we don't know how to solve the problems. Things may not go well if we just sit there and twist our brains. Wandering or jogging outside is a good (better) idea, because when we do that, we can also take in fresh air which helps us think. Then lights may go off(弱弱的问一下，这个短语是什么意思？) and solutions come to our minds. At the same time, our strength is enhanced and we free ourselves from headaches (这个应该和上文所说的“帮助思考”在同一层面上的吧、、不应该是at the same time; 最好改成Besides freeing ourselves from headaches/problems, our strength is enhanced at the same time), which benefits us physically and mentally (如果上一句改了的话，顺序也应变成mentally and physically).

Not only does sport exert favorable influences on our health, but it also plays an important role in our social life. (过渡句很好

)When we throw ourselves in the swimming pools where ~~there are~~ lots of people (are 不知道这样改对不对,但原来的说法觉得不是很正确

-- by 会员 safeandsound (2012/9/3 9:06:30)

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-3 18:00
标题: 9.3综合写作
9.3综合写作
TPO8

The reading material questions the accuracy of Chevalier de Seingalt's memoir, arguing that some events were distorted or even invented. The lecturer, however, holds the view that his memoir is based on his experience for the following three reasons.

First, borrowing money does not necessarily mean his poverty. In Switzerland, parties and gambling were so demanding that Chevalier had to convert his property to cash. And that required time to complete. Therefore, Chevalier borrowed money from a Swiss merchant.

Second, it is Chevalier's taking notes every time after the conversation that determines the accuracy of the conversations between Chevalier and Voltaire. Some of his friends confirmed that he often consulted the notes to write the memoir several years later, which proves the accuracy.

Third, he must not have escape the Venetian prison by bribing jailers for the simple reason that even other prisoners, who were in better connection with powerful politicians, failed to do so. Besides, the government reported that the ceiling was repaired after Chevalier's escape. Those two pieces of evidence indicate that it was much more likely for him to escape by climbing the roof.

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-3 18:03
标题: 9.3独立写作第一稿写的很不爽
Do you agree with the following statement? It is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than save money for the future.

Traveling to other places is appealing to many people who have to suffer from great pressure at either work or school. The traveling population has been skyrocketing for the last decade thanks to increasing quality of life. Personally, I am inclined to travel rather than save money.

Traveling is unforgettable experience in our life, without which our life would be boring and tedious. My uncle and aunt are definitely fanatic about traveling. They went to Italy on the yearly break, toured in Japan during the Spring Festival and also enjoyed the fabulous views in Egypt in July. They all had very good time, experienced different culture, made warm-hearted friends and took lots of pictures which will become their treasure when they get old. They regard these trips to different parts of the world as lubricant that enables them to work more efficiently in the future.

Traveling is not always a period of time when we spend our money like water. Apart from the precious experience, we can even earn money from the trips. My friend Zhang is senior and she is eager to find a job or internship to make herself occupied. Last summer vacation, she spent all the time on the trip to Europe. During the trip, she stumbled on a chance to be a waitress in the local restaurant. She didn’t need to work on weekends so she wandered around to experience local culture and get a better understanding of people there. She managed herself very well and wasted no money. In the end of the trip, she even earned one hundred Euro. So traveling doesn’t mean spending money all the time.

While I believe that spending our money on our trip is a good idea, we should be aware of the importance of budgeting before we set off. Another friend of mine, Liu, lives in a very wealthy family and has money to burn. Wherever he goes, he spends the entire trip in the local five-star hotels. So convenient and luxury the hotels are that he is even unwilling to go outside and explore the city or sniff around. That kind of trip, I think, is nothing but a waste of money as well as time.

To sum up, I prefer travelling because we should explore the rest of our amazing world as long as we have the chances. And money is meant to be spent. If we just sit there and worry about what emergency we will encounter or what a huge amount of money will cost during the trip, our life is no longer colorful or exciting. So from my perspective, traveling is the better choice over saving money.

作者: xeyyxzty 时间: 2012-9-3 23:10
我也给你看看

话说你的词汇很高级哟

Traveling to other places is appealing to manypeople who have to suffer from great pressure at either work or school. The traveling population(你确定这个对？我不了解~不过个人觉得有点怪…) has beenskyrocketing for the last decade thanks to increasingquality of life(这个和旅游没有直接关系吧，个人认为如果换成薪水提高感觉会更恰当). Personally, I am inclined to travel rather than save money.

Traveling is unforgettable experience in our life, without which our life wouldbe boring and tedious. My uncle and aunt are definitely fanatic abouttraveling. They went to Italy on the yearly break, toured in Japan during theSpring Festival and also enjoyed the fabulous views in Egypt in July. They all（亲~用both吧~两个人哟） had a very good time,experienced different cultures, made warm-hearted friends and took lots ofpictures which will（时态要一致吧，would?） become their treasure when they get old. Theyregard these trips to different parts of the world as lubricant that enablesthem to work more efficiently in the future.

Traveling is not always a period of time whenwe spend our money like water (美国人这么说吗？). Apart from the precious experience, we caneven earn money from the trips. My friend Zhang is senior and she is eager tofind a job or internship to make herself occupied. In her Last summer vacation, she spent all the time on the trip to Europe.During the trip, she stumbled on a chance to be a waitress in the localrestaurant. She didn’t need to work on weekends so she wandered around toexperience local culture and get (got) abetter understanding of people there. She managed herself very well and wasted no money.(这个，前面不是说赚钱嘛，怎么跑到浪费钱上面了？) In the end of the trip, she even earned one hundred Euro（难道不用复数吗？）. So traveling doesn’t mean spending money allthe time.

While I believe that spending our money on our trip （为什么要用两个our呢）is a good idea, we should be aware of the importance of budgetingbefore we set off. Another friend of mine, Liu, lives in a very wealthy familyand has money to burn.（弱弱的问…美国人也这么说吗？） Wherever he goes, hespends the entire trip in the local five-star hotels（我明白你的意思，但是应该不这么写吧，he usually lives in the local five-star hotels when he goes on a trip怎么样呢？抛砖引玉啦）. So convenient and luxury the hotels are that he is even unwilling togo outside and （用to表示目的如何？）explore the city or sniff around（这个提到前面，outside后面感觉更好）. That kind of trip, I think, is nothing but awaste of money as well as time.

To sum up, I prefer travelling because weshould explore the rest of our amazing world as long as we have the chances.And money is meant to be spent. If we just sit there and worry about whatemergency we will encounter or what a huge amount of money will cost during thetrip, our life is no longer colorful or exciting. So from my perspective,traveling is the better choice over saving money.

作者: 332211abc 时间: 2012-9-3 23:41
tpo7
The reading material opposes adopting new, ecologically friendly practices to receive ecocertification for American companies.(逻辑有问题，文章中说美国公司不愿意用环保认证，你说的是文章反对美国公司用环保认证) The lecturer, however, holds the view that it does have its benefits for the following three reasons.
First, Americans are able to see the difference among advertisements. Although quite a few advertisements which are aimed to stimulate the consumption of products are shown every day, American people are still willing to trust advertisements about ecocertification. （遗漏信息，第三方认证增加可信度没说）
Second, the price of wood will only affect the market if it is either too high or too low. The customers will not care about the price if the differences between different kinds of wood are within 5 percent. They place more emphasis on the value（用词有问题，value是价值的意思，意义雷同于价格，应该用quantity或者differentia） rather than how much it costs.
Third, international companies will crowd in American market if American companies don't pursue certification. As mentioned above, American people are eager to buy ecocertified wood to benefit the environment. If so, lots of profit will go into the pockets of people from other countries,(profit指公司利润，用个人不对。另外听力中没提到profit的流向) which Americans don't want to see. Therefore, it is necessary that Americans take actions to protect their market.

作者: 小兔爱twins 时间: 2012-9-3 23:45
我迟点来你给改哈~~ 这头像真的十分欠调教。。。。大爱卷福啊哈哈哈

作者: 小兔爱twins 时间: 2012-9-4 00:54
我们是互改综合的。。。。。你改了我的独立

作者: 小兔爱twins 时间: 2012-9-4 03:43

First, borrowing money does not necessarily mean his poverty. In Switzerland, parties and gambling were so demanding 最好能跟原文靠近不要自己yy。。听力原文是说 C花很多钱并没有说在switzerland party什么的很需求。。。 that Chevalier had to convert his property to cash. And that required time to complete. Therefore, Chevalier borrowed money from a Swiss merchant.

Third, he must not have escaped from the Venetian prison by bribing jailers for the simple reason that even other prisoners, who were in better connection with powerful politicians, failed to do so（fail这个词用得有点yy 听力中他并不是没有做成而是不太可能去做）. Besides, the government reported 换成documented that the ceiling was repaired after Chevalier's escape. Those two pieces of evidence indicate that it was much more likely for him to escape by climbing the roof.

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-4 09:41
谢谢我改正

-- by 会员小兔爱twins (2012/9/4 3:43:05)

作者: 面具小姐 时间: 2012-9-4 16:46
9.3独立作文改
红色错误 绿色建议 蓝色吐槽 高亮精彩

Do you agree with the following statement? It is better tospend money on traveling and vacation than save money for the future.

Traveling to other places is appealing to many people who have to suffer fromgreat pressure at either work or school (in either work or life感觉work和school有重。。). Thetraveling population (The number of tourists) has been skyrocketingfor the last decade thanks to the increasing quality of life. Personally, I am inclined to travel rather than save money.

Traveling is an(经历吧) unforgettable experience in our life, withoutwhich our life would be boring and tedious. My uncle and aunt are definitely(这个词用得怪怪的呐。。) fanatic about traveling. They went to Italy on the yearly（我就只会annual）break, toured in(to) Japan during the Spring Festival and also enjoyed the fabulous viewsin Egypt in July. They all (both) had a verygood time, experienced different cultures, made warm-hearted friends and took lots ofpictures which will become their treasure when they get old. They regard thesetrips to different parts of the world as lubricant that enables them to work moreefficiently in the future.

Traveling is not always a period of time whenwe spend our money likewater (感觉有点怪旅行是一段XXX的时间?). Apart from the precious experiences, we can even earn money from the trips. Myfriend Zhang is a seniorand she is eager to find a job or an (实习可数) internship to make herself occupied. Last summer vacation, she spent all thetime on the trip to Europe (这意思更像是所有时间都花在去的路上了。。。). During the trip, she stumbled on a chance tobe a waitress in the local restaurant. She didn’t need to work on weekends soshe wandered around to experience the local culture and get (got) a better understanding of people there. She managed (节制自己吗？managed her money very well ) herself very well and wasted no money. In the end of the trip, sheeven earned one hundred Euros. So traveling doesn’t mean spending money all the time.

While I believe that spending ~~our~~ money on our trips is a good idea(为什么哦。。), we should be aware of the importance of budgeting before we set off.Another friend of mine, Liu, lives in a very wealthy family and has money to burn(图图你太厉害了这么多有钱的词都被你发现了). Wherever he goes, he spends the entire trip in the local five-starhotels. So convenient and luxury the hotels are that he is even unwilling to gooutside and explore the city or sniff around. That kind of trip, I think, is nothing but a wasteof money as well as time.

To sum up, I prefer travelling because weshould explore the rest of our amazing world as long as we have the chances.And money is meant to be(doomed to be也行) spent. If we just sit there and worry aboutwhat emergency we will encounter or what a huge amount of money will be cost during the trip, our life is no longercolorful or exciting. So from my perspective, traveling is the better choiceover saving money.
图图这次的句式感觉很简单，好多we呢另外，其他我也找不出错误了。。。~~

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-4 21:17
标题: 9.4综合写作今天事多就不谢独立了。。。
综合写作：

TPO9

The reading material argues that fuel-cell engines have several advantages over internal-combustion engines and will replace them. The lecturer, however, holds the view that it is much less optimistic than what the reading indicates for the following reasons.

First, although hydrogen is a renewable resource, its producing procedures are too demanding. We cannot utilize it until it becomes the pure liquid, which requires minus 253 Celsius degrees and can only be made artificially. Besides, storing is a problem too.

Second, despite less polluted gas emitted from fuel-cell engines, there may be more pollution when the hydrogen is produced.This kind of source needs to be purified before use which burns much coal as well as oil. Therefore, hydrogen is not as clean as what we might think.

Third, fuel-cell engines should be made by expensive platinum. So far, all attempts to find alternative chemicals to platinum have turned out to be a failure. That makes it less likely to be put into market.

作者: haduni 时间: 2012-9-5 09:10

The reading material argues that fuel-cellengines have several advantages over internal-combustion engines and willreplace them. The lecturer, however, holds the view that it is much lessoptimistic than what the reading indicates for the following reasons.

First, although hydrogen is a renewableresource, its producing procedures are too demanding. We cannot utilize ituntil it becomes the pure liquid, which requires minus 253 Celsius degrees（这个好强大，我根本来不及记录这些细节） and can only bemade artificially. Besides, storing（storage of the hydrogen）is a problem too.

Second, despite less polluted gas emitted from fuel-cell engines(“releaseless polluted emission”这是一个替换写法 ), there may be more pollution when the hydrogen is produced. This kind ofsource needs to be purified before use which burns much coal as well as oil.Therefore, hydrogen is not as clean as what we might think（as we think,这样就好了吧）.

Third, fuel-cell engines should be made by expensive platinum（“白金”，好吧，这个词我查了才认识）. So far, all attempts to find alternative chemicals to（for） platinum have turnedout to be a failure. That makes it less likely to be put into market.

1 字数有点少：如果有时间的话，将reading里的内容适当的联系一点吧，可以增加一些字数。
2 要点都写出来了，并且，你对听力中的细节记录很详细。
3 如果可以象征性的写一个结尾段的话，就会更好，否则，这样不太像一个完整的文章。
4 赞一句，你对细节的把握整的很好，全篇之后竟然没有任何的拼写错误。要向你学习！

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-5 11:17
谢谢你的意见^_^
以前我以为阅读里面的信息考官默认考生是知道的，不需要大段复述，所以只是简单提了一下，也没有考虑字数问题
之前也没有写结尾的习惯。。。现在应该改一下
release是动词，没有releaseless这个词
在yahoo.com上搜索alternative for 和alternative to得到的搜索结果相差不大，都很多，大概在1320，000，000左右。且结果都是外国网站的。。所以这两个应该是等价的把。。写的时候我也犹豫了一下，但没想太多。

The reading material argues that fuel-cellengines have several advantages over internal-combustion engines and willreplace them. The lecturer, however, holds the view that it is much lessoptimistic than what the reading indicates for the following reasons.

First, although hydrogen is a renewableresource, its producing procedures are too demanding. We cannot utilize ituntil it becomes the pure liquid, which requires minus 253 Celsius degrees（这个好强大，我根本来不及记录这些细节） and can only bemade artificially. Besides, storing（storage of the hydrogen）is a problem too.

Third, fuel-cell engines should be made by expensive platinum（“白金”，好吧，这个词我查了才认识）. So far, all attempts to find alternative chemicals to（for） platinum have turnedout to be a failure. That makes it less likely to be put into market.

1字数有点少：如果有时间的话，将reading里的内容适当的联系一点吧，可以增加一些字数。
2要点都写出来了，并且，你对听力中的细节记录很详细。
3如果可以象征性的写一个结尾段的话，就会更好，否则，这样不太像一个完整的文章。
4赞一句，你对细节的把握整的很好，全篇之后竟然没有任何的拼写错误。要向你学习！

-- by 会员 haduni (2012/9/5 9:10:07)

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-5 21:30
标题: 9.4综合
这篇写的不认真。。。求批评
综合写作：

TPO10

The reading material argues the pollution hypothesis seems more plausible to explain the repaid decline of sea otters. The lecturer, however, holds the view that attacks by predators are the culprit in the following three aspects.

First, no dead sea otters have been found around the Alaskan coast, which disproves the pollution theory. That piece of evidence is consistent with the predator theory that sea otters are eaten up by their predators.

Second, human hunters' involvement deprives the predators of their food and predators have to change their diets to other sea mammals such as seals and sea lions. Therefore, it is not the pollutants that kill the sea otters.

Third, the predators of sea otters do not like to live in rocky and shallow water areas, where the amount of sea otters remains the same. This piece of evidence proves the predator theory as well. Therefore, it is not the diffusion of pollutants that cause the uneven decline in sea otters.

作者: 婷婷connie 时间: 2012-9-6 10:07
9.5 综合改文
TPO10
红色错误，蓝色讨论，高亮赞~

The reading material argues (that) the pollution hypothesis seems more plausible to explain the repaid（rapid） decline of sea otters. The lecturer, however, holds the view that attacks by predators are the culprit (这个词挺好，但是逻辑不对应，attacks怎么会是culprit,应该是predators are the culprit)in the following three aspects.

First, no dead sea otters(otters’ bodies是尸体没有找到)have been found around(off)the Alaskan coast, which disproves the pollution theory. That piece of evidence is consistent with the predator theory that sea otters are eaten up by their predators.

Second, human hunters' involvement deprives the predators of their food（orcas of their food whales) and predators have to change their diets to other sea mammals such as seals and sea lions. Therefore, it is not the pollutants that kill the sea otters(, but orcas).

Third, the predators of sea otters do not like to live in（are not accessible to这里不是它们不喜欢，而是身体太大，去不了） rocky and shallow water areas, where the amount of sea otters remains the same（stable）. This piece ofevidence proves the predator theory as well. Therefore, it is not the diffusion of pollutants that cause(causes) the uneven decline in sea otters.

Conclusion:

1.每一段的连词可以换一下，像moreover, additionally, what is more之类的，用first, second, third有点单调哦

2.词汇很丰富的说

3.有一些细节还要抓紧，像第二段的orca,最好点一下

4.总的来说，写的还是不错的~

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-8 21:02
标题: 9.7综合写作
综合写作：

TPO12
The reading material considers a professionally painted, full-length portrait of teenage girl as Jane Austen. However, the lecturer thinks the reasons given by the reading are unconvincing and even questionable at best for the following three reasons.

To begin with, it was almost 70 years later when Austen's family had given permission to use the portrait as an illustration, and none of her family saw her in flesh or knew what she looked like exactly. So they were not certain that the portrait was Jane Austen.

Furthermore, Austen was a large family and several teenage girls resembled each other. So it is likely that the portrait or the sketch was not Jane. Besides, the girl was recognized as a distant niece of Jane.

Additionally, the subject of the painting is not necessarily Jane. The stamp on the back of the painting shows that the canvas used in the portrait was sold twenty-seven years later. And at that time, Jane Austen was no longer a teenager.

In conclusion, the lecturer refutes the reading about whether the portrait depicted Jane Austen and he thinks it is not her.

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-8 23:25
标题: 9. 8 付图图综合写作
TPO13

To begin with, the public are more likely to be exposed to the fossils if they are sold to private collectors. During the trades, the public is able to see the fossils which schools and museums cannot afford.

Furthermore, if some fossils are going to be sold, they will be fully examined to prove their value by scientists first. In the process of examinations, scientists must scrutiny them to make sure that no evidence is missed out.

Additionally, much more fossils would be undiscovered if there were less private collectors. Although some data about locations may be ignored, it is much better to find the fossils rather than leave them undiscovered.

In conclusion, the reading negates fossil trades while the lecturer thinks them useful for the public as well as research.

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-9 00:42
标题: 9.8付图图独立写作
9月8日

独立写作：

Do you agree with the following statement? The most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees.

There are a lot of things that companies can do to make their business more successful and make more profits. From my perspective, although there are more methods that promote the profits for the companies, improving the skill of its employees is the most important way for a company to prosper its business.

Better-trained employees work more effectively and efficiently than others and they are capable of using different ways to solve problems. Before computers were first introduced into offices, my father and his colleagues had to draw accurate designs of architectures on the draft even for 4 consecutive days, which cost them lots of energy and time. As soon as computers were available in offices, the boss of the company invited a computer engineer to teach the staff about the computer skills. My father took 3 month to figure out how to operate the computer and draw whatever he wanted on the screen. Drawing has never been a headache in my father’s job and the staff has paid much more attention on the stability of their architectures. Their efficiency improved almost 3 times than before. Therefore, skilled employees bring effectiveness and efficiency to the company, which is vital to company’s survival.

Another reason for more skilled employees is that they are less likely to make errors. If there is nobody skilled on the pipeline or assembly line in a company, a supervisor for quality control is a must. But the question is, avoiding making errors doesn’t make a company stand out from its competitors. Therefore, the production has to be right from the very beginning, which requires skilled staff to make sure. Unskilled workers are prone to errors and they are not likely to find them until something goes wrong. So the more skilled employees are, the greater chance it is for the company to make large amount of money and have prosperous business.

Admittedly, other ways of investment are not bad for the develop of companies.

Advanced facilities are able to make up workers’ low efficiency to some extent and better welfare arouses the enthusiasm of employees to be more devoted to work. But they are not the point. Companies are financially-burden if purchasing advanced facilities whose costs can be enormous figures. Compared to teach workers skills, welfares fail to allow workers to have a feeling of their increasing competence or capabilities. Thus, it is shown that more skills are good for both companies as well as employees.

To sum up, if I were the boss of a company now, I would not hesitate to invest in training my employees. After all, it is skills that counts to determine how competitive the company is as well as how promising the employee is.

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-9 14:11
标题: 9.9付图图独立写作写的太不理想了
独立写作：

Do you agree with the following statement? Compared with people who live in urban areas, the people who live in rural areas can take better care of their families.

Taking good care of the family has been an outstanding problem for the young generation who are suffering from high pressure from work. Even so, increasing prices of daily necessities and houses aggravate this problem. People from both rural areas and urban areas are confronted with the same difficulties. From my perspective, living in cities is better for people to take good care of the family.

The medical system in urban areas is more developed than those in rural areas. Hospitals in urban areas are equipped with more advanced medical devices and experienced doctors, which provides people with more credible diagnostic results and efficacious drugs. When it comes to fatal diseases such as cancer, patients have to go to big cities to receive treatments because most hospitals in rural areas are not qualified to do so. Besides, if one of the family members is suddenly in coma, an ambulance is supposed to arrive within five minutes to give first aids. The more developed the medical system is, the less likely it is for family members to suffer from illness. In this sense, urban areas are ideal for people to take good care of their family members.

Not only are better treatments provided in cities, ways of entertainment are various as well. In urban areas, more cinemas are available so that a family can spend two hours on a movie together on weekends. What’s more, shopping malls are excellent places for families to visit because they are able to buy shoes or clothes for other members, which offers them chances to promote their feelings. Furthermore, taking part in team training camp never fails to bring laughter and trust among family members. In rural areas, however, places and facilities for these activities cannot be easily found. Therefore, people from rural areas are less likely to enjoy the convenience and joy of modernization.

Admittedly, living in cities has its own setbacks. Prices are much higher than that in rural areas, and both employers and office workers are more likely to be stressed out because of the fierce competition. In order to enjoy the benefits of big cities, many people have to devote their leisure time to working or going to other cities on business and suffer from high prices as well as enormous workload. So their little kids and the elderly may have to deal with loneliness on weekdays. However, in rural areas, people do not need to work that long. Even they are at work, the kids and elderly can drop in on others and talk about trivia and have a cup of tea. And it is indeed a very relaxing lifestyle.

To sum up, despite loneliness, family members are better taken care of in urban areas because advanced medical system and various ways of entertainment are available in cities rather than rural areas.

作者: pedrohuo 时间: 2012-9-9 18:02
There are a lot of things that companies can do to make their business more successful and make more profits. From my perspective, although there are more methods that promote the profits for the companies, improving the skill of its employees is the most important way for a company to prosper its business.
Better-trained employees work more effectively and efficiently than others and they are capable of using different ways to solve problems. Before computers were first introduced into offices, my father and his colleagues had to draw accurate designs of architectures on the draft even for 4 consecutive days, which cost them lots of energy and time. As soon as computers were available in offices, the boss of the company invited a computer engineer to teach the staff about the computer skills. My father took 3 month to figure out how to operate the computer and draw whatever he wanted on the screen. Drawing has never been a headache in my father’s job and the staff has paid much more attention on the stability of their architectures. （例子很好）Their efficiency improved almost 3 times than before. Therefore, skilled employees bring effectiveness and efficiency to the company, which is vital to company’s survival.

Another reason for more skilled employees is that they are less likely to make errors. If there is nobody skilled on the pipeline or assembly line in a company, a supervisor for quality control is a must. But the question is, avoiding making errors doesn’t make a company stand out from its competitors.(这句话总感觉有点绕。和本段的意思不太贴切。我读了好几遍。) Therefore, the production has to be right from the very beginning, which requires skilled staff to make sure. Unskilled workers are prone to errors and they are not likely to find them until something goes wrong. So the more skilled employees are, the greater chance it is for the company to make large amount of money and have prosperous business.

Admittedly, other ways of investment are not bad for the develop(development) of companies.

Advanced facilities are able to make up workers’ low efficiency to some extent and better welfare arouses the enthusiasm of employees to be more devoted to work. But they are not the point. Companies are financially-burden if purchasing advanced facilities whose costs can be enormous figures. Compared to teach workers skills, welfares fail to allow workers to have a feeling of their increasing competence or capabilities. Thus, it is shown that more skills are good for both companies as well as employees.

To sum up, if I were the boss of a company now, I would not hesitate to invest in training my employees. After all, it is skills that counts(count) to determine how competitive the company is as well as how promising the employee is.
图图的作文总是这么好。用词用句都太漂亮了。向付同志致敬。

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-9 21:15
标题: 付图图9.9独立写作写的和shi一样
Taking good care of the family has been an outstanding problem for the young generation who are suffering from high pressure from work. Even so, increasing prices of daily necessities and houses aggravate this problem. People from both rural areas and urban areas are confronted with the same difficulties. From my perspective, living in cities is better for people to take good care of the family.

The medical system in urban areas is more developed than those in rural areas. Hospitals in urban areas are equipped with more advanced medical devices and experienced doctors, which provides people with more credible diagnostic results and efficacious drugs. When it comes to fatal diseases such as cancer, patients have to go to big cities to receive treatments because most hospitals in rural areas are not qualified to do so. Besides, if one of the family members is suddenly in coma, an ambulance is supposed to arrive within five minutes to give first aids. The more developed the medical system is, the less likely it is for family members to suffer from illness. In this sense, urban areas are ideal for people to take good care of their family members.

Not only are better treatments provided in cities, ways of entertainment are various as well. In urban areas, more cinemas are available so that a family can spend two hours on a movie together on weekends. What’s more, shopping malls are excellent places for families to visit because they are able to buy shoes or clothes for other members, which offers them chances to promote their feelings. Furthermore, taking part in team training camp never fails to bring laughter and trust among family members. In rural areas, however, places and facilities for these activities cannot be easily found. Therefore, people from rural areas are less likely to enjoy the convenience and joy of modernization.

Admittedly, living in cities has its own setbacks. Prices are much higher than that in rural areas, and both employers and office workers are more likely to be stressed out because of the fierce competition. In order to enjoy the benefits of big cities, many people have to devote their leisure time to working or going to other cities on business and suffer from high prices as well as enormous workload. So their little kids and the elderly may have to deal with loneliness on weekdays. However, in rural areas, people do not need to work that long. Even they are at work, the kids and elderly can drop in on others and talk about trivia and have a cup of tea. And it is indeed a very relaxing lifestyle.

To sum up, despite loneliness, family members are better taken care of in urban areas because advanced medical system and various ways of entertainment are available in cities rather than rural areas.

作者: E月羽 时间: 2012-9-9 21:17
It is believed in the reading material that it is unfortunate for scientists and the general public to be inaccessible to fossils. The lecturer, however, holds the exactly opposite view for the following three reasons.

To begin with, the public are more likely to be exposed to the fossils if they are sold to private collectors. During the trades, the public is able to see the fossils which schools and museums cannot afford.

Furthermore, if some fossils are going to be sold, they will be fully examined to prove their value（values 应该是可数名词吧？） by scientists first. In the process of examinations, scientists must scrutiny them to make sure that no evidence is missed out.

Additionally, much more fossils would be undiscovered if there were less private collectors. Although some data about locations may be ignored, it is much better to find the fossils rather than leave them undiscovered.

In conclusion, the reading negates fossil trades while the lecturer thinks them useful for the public as well as research.

1. 有的点阅读内容没有提到。
2. 你的观点和我听到的有点不同啊
听力部分需要提取的观点是：

- Main point: 私人化石买卖利大于弊

- Sub point 1: 公众不会失去接触化石的机会，反而更多，因为一些科学机构可以购买化石来给公众参观

- Sub point 2: 科学家也不会失去接触化石的机会，因为珍贵的化石需要认证，会第一时间到达科学家的手中，所以科学家不会错过得到化石信息的机会

- Sub point 3: 尽管化石的珍贵数据可能遭到破坏，但是要好过让大量化石长眠于地下

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-10 13:08
标题: 9.8综合写作
我听到的和你写的是一样的。。。应该是我写的问题。
阅读我以前以为是不用写的。。。在以后综合写作里面我加上阅读的内容

It is believed in the reading material that it is unfortunate for scientists and the general public to be inaccessible to fossils. The lecturer, however, holds the exactly opposite view for the following three reasons.

To begin with, the public are more likely to be exposed to the fossils if they are sold to private collectors. During the trades, the public is able to see the fossils which schools and museums cannot afford.

Furthermore, if some fossils are going to be sold, they will be fully examined to prove their value（values 应该是可数名词吧？） by scientists first. In the process of examinations, scientists must scrutiny them to make sure that no evidence is missed out.

Additionally, much more fossils would be undiscovered if there were less private collectors. Although some data about locations may be ignored, it is much better to find the fossils rather than leave them undiscovered.

In conclusion, the reading negates fossil trades while the lecturer thinks them useful for the public as well as research.

1. 有的点阅读内容没有提到。
2. 你的观点和我听到的有点不同啊
听力部分需要提取的观点是：

- Main point: 私人化石买卖利大于弊

- Sub point 1: 公众不会失去接触化石的机会，反而更多，因为一些科学机构可以购买化石来给公众参观

- Sub point 2: 科学家也不会失去接触化石的机会，因为珍贵的化石需要认证，会第一时间到达科学家的手中，所以科学家不会错过得到化石信息的机会

- Sub point 3: 尽管化石的珍贵数据可能遭到破坏，但是要好过让大量化石长眠于地下

-- by 会员 E月羽 (2012/9/9 21:17:46)

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-10 13:09
标题: 9.9付图图综合写作TPO14
9月9日综合写作TPO14：

The reading material talks about three advantages of salvage logging after forest fires and severe storms. The lecturer, however, holds the opposite view and negates salvage logging for the following three reasons.

To begin with, removing dead trees is not as beneficial as what says in the reading. The decomposition of dead trees is supposed to enrich the soil for future generations. Otherwise, future generations would have to suffer from the lack of nutrients.

Furthermore, spruce bark beetles have been living in decaying wood for one hundred years without causing any damage to the forests. Besides, decaying wood is home to birds and other insects. Removing dead wood will exert a negative effect on environmental health.

Additionally, helicopters are needed to transport the wood in severely damaged forest, which is too expensive to maintain. Salvaging logging is a temporary job and experienced outsiders will compete with local people for the job opportunities. Therefore, jobs are not easily available for local people.

In conclusion, the reading material claims that salvage logging is beneficial for forest recover, health of the forest and local employment. In contrast, the lecturer thinks that it is not good for long-term development and it may do no good for local people.

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-10 13:56
标题: 9.10付图图综合写作
9月10日综合写作TPO15：

The reading material provides us three ways to control the cane toad population in Australia. The lecturer, however, thinks they are not effective to get rid of cane toads for the following three reasons.

To begin with, grown cane toads may be prevented by national fences, but young ones and eggs are not because they are usually found in streams and rivers. The water current is able to carry baby cane toad and eggs through the fences, which enable them to colonize on the other side of fences.

Moreover, volunteers are capable for killing cane toads by hand and destroy their eggs. The point is that most of them are untrained, so they are not sure of the difference between baby native frogs and baby cane frogs. Therefore, it is likely that they kill native frogs inadvertently.

In conclusion, the lecturer negates three ways to control the population of cane toad which are put forward by the reading.

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-10 17:48
标题: 9.10付图图独立写作
9月10日独立写作
Do you agree or disagree the following statement: in order to succeed in doing a new job, the ability to adapt oneself to the new environment is more important than the excellent knowledge of this job.

University graduates usually encounter some gaps and difficulties in almost every aspect when they first work in companies. The same thing happens when someone gets promoted or desires a better job. Although excellent expertise knowledge is necessary, the ability to adapt oneself to new environment plays a more significant role in succeeding in a job.

Excellent knowledge is not as vital as before as many young graduates would like to work in the fields unrelated to their majors. Even though their jobs match their majors, they have to keep learning more. In this sense, it is likely that someone is unable to work efficiently though he has a deep insight of knowledge in his field. Moreover, universities still place more emphasis on theory teaching instead of practical exercise at present. One survey conducted online in 2010 shows that no less than sixty percent senior students think it is a waste of time learning complex specific knowledge that will not be applied to future jobs. It is the ability to learn rather than your pool of excellent knowledge that matters to enable you to succeed in jobs.

Getting used to the new environment means experiencing different paces and timetables of life and making friends with new colleagues, which is more beneficial to us. When we start working in a new company, we have to learn a lot about new companies besides our duties. The ability to adapt to the new environment seems crucial because it is natural for us to feel uncomfortable and discouraged when exposed to unfamiliar surroundings. Therefore, the better ability someone has, the more efficiently he works. And another factor should not be ignored: the help from friends. Making friends with new colleagues allows us to learn more details and status of companies and get more working experience from them to avoid making the same mistakes. Therefore, adapting to new environment is more important than excellent knowledge.

Admittedly, the excellence of knowledge should not be completely neglected. For people who choose to devote all their life to their fields, it is essential. Besides, it is from learning knowledge that we get a better understanding of the world and gain experience. If someone were so illiterate that he even made errors on basic calculations, he would not achieve much success in jobs. Basic knowledge is still required by every company.

To sum up, excellent knowledge is not so important currently and the abilities to adapt can make up for the lack of relevant knowledge.

作者: 羊咩咩yw 时间: 2012-9-11 20:07
等着给你改综合哩~~

作者: E月羽 时间: 2012-9-11 21:09
9月10日独立作文批改

University graduates usually encounter some gaps and difficulties in almost every aspect when they first work in companies. The same thing happens when someone gets promoted or desires a better job.（这句话没太懂，是指这些同样发生在升职或者求职的时候吗？） Although excellent expertise knowledge is necessary, the ability to adapt oneself to new environment plays a more significant role in succeeding in a job.

Excellent knowledge is not as vital as before as many young graduates would like to work in the fields unrelated to their majors（有点绕）. Even though their jobs match their majors, they have to keep learning more. In this sense, it is likely that someone is unable to work efficiently though he has a deep insight of knowledge in his field. Moreover, universities still place more emphasis on theory teaching instead of practical exercise at present. One survey conducted online in 2010 shows that no less than sixty percent senior students think it is a waste of time learning（acquiring 代替会比较好） complex specific knowledge that will not be applied to future jobs. It is the ability to learn rather than your pool of excellent knowledge that matters to enable you to succeed in jobs.

Getting used to（不错）the new environment means experiencing different paces and timetables of life and making friends with new colleagues, which is more beneficial to us. When we start working in a new company, we have to learn a lot about new companies besides our duties. The ability to adapt to the new environment seems crucial because it is natural for us to feel uncomfortable and discouraged when exposed to unfamiliar surroundings. Therefore, the better ability someone has, the more efficiently he works. And（去掉and）another factor should not be ignored: the help from friends. Making friends with new colleagues allows us to learn more details and status of companies and get more working experience from them to avoid making the same mistakes. Therefore, adapting to new environment is more important than excellent knowledge.

Admittedly, the excellence of knowledge should not be completely neglected. For people who choose to devote all their life to their fields, it is essential. Besides, it is from learning knowledge that we get a better understanding of the world and gain experience. If someone were so illiterate that he even made errors on basic calculations, he would not achieve much success in jobs. Basic knowledge is still required by every company.

To sum up, excellent knowledge is not so important currently and the abilities to adapt can make up for the lack of relevant knowledge.

点评：

1逻辑不错，分析水到渠成。

2，句式和词语使用可以再多样化

作者: 羊咩咩yw 时间: 2012-9-11 22:26
9月10日综合写作TPO15：

Additionally, special virus is able to prevent cane toads form maturing and reproducing without harming other reptile or amphibian species indeed. However, some cane toads are transported to central America, where they were originated. Virus may cause environmental disasters there as they play a vital role in the ecosystem.(就这里的细节再讲清楚点就完美了呢~~)

In conclusion, the lecturer negates three ways to control the population of cane toad which are put forward by the reading.

写得很好呢~~结构很清晰~~，不好意思哈~我今天来了你的主页好几次，都一直没看到你贴在第四页，思维定式的以为会出现在第五页~~汗，不好意思呢~~

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-15 17:45
标题: 9.15付图图独立写作好久不见大家了
9月15日独立写作
Some people think university professors should spend more time doing research while others think they should spend more time educating students. What is your view?

More and more people worldwide have come to the consensus that the development of a country depends heavily on the development of its higher learning. More attention has been drawn to university professors, the pivots of higher learning, whose work has been evaluated in terms of academic research and educating their students. From my perspective, greater emphasis should be put on the excellence of their research work than on giving their students lectures.

First, doing research fuels the development of the country’s technology. When it comes to the criteria of a country’s development, a lot of people take the development of science and technology as the main yardstick. University professors are regarded as the elites of each field who have a huge influence on the whole industry. Being devoted to researches enables them to acquire the frontier knowledge as well as learn the prospect of the field. For example, professors from electronic engineering are sparing no effort to do research on the fourth and fifth generation of network on mobile phones. They are sure to lead the trend that 4-G network will be applied to our cellphones in the following years.

Second, doing research provides the professors lots of crucial practical experiences that can be taught to their students. The knowledge in textbooks are simplified and extracted in the process of conducting experiments and research. If students only acquire the knowledge from textbooks, they will be confronted with a huge number of problems in the world of reality. If professors conduct lots of researches, they can tell their students which theories from their textbooks are just theories which cannot be applied to production or manufacture according to the limitations at present. Besides, professors may bring up some questions which he encountered in his research to the students. In this way, students are required to look for relevant papers, references and knowledge to gain a better understanding of their major. Professors with more practical experiences of doing research can better help students to combine theory with practice.

Admittedly, as I mention at the beginning of this essay, when I say professors should give more weight to research I don’t mean that educating their students can be totally ignored. There should be a balance between educating students and research. If a professor places excessive emphasis on his research and ignores his classes, his students are deprived of the chance to benefit from his rich experiences of doing academic research. Under these circumstances the students are nowhere to acquire a deeper insight into their major and even make the students abandon their major. In this case, the university will not turn out excellent graduates as they hope.

To sum up, I am in favor of university professors devoting more time and energy to research. Only if they have made some breakthroughs in their respective fields of study can they expect to give their students more and thus contribute much to the development of his country and of the whole world.

作者: loveluyuanbai 时间: 2012-9-15 23:58
915作文见附件我先给你改了啊！！！

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-20 15:56
标题: 付图图9.20独立写作
9.20独立写作：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: the most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees.

The competition among companies or firms has been increasingly fierce in almost every field because each company has to make more profits to survive and prosper. For example, cell phone manufactures never stop researching new communicating technologies to occupy the market. Once one company falls behind, it may be in danger of bankruptcy. There are many ways to achieve success. From my perspective, investment in improving skills of employees is indeed one of good ideas, but there are other methods that workas well as it.

Skilled employees provide a solid foundation for a good company. It is true at present that more skilled workers mean efficiency and more revolutionary innovations in the field. For example, Apple Incorporation blows the market away every time a new Apple product comes into existence. Researchers are required or even ordered to improve the design or applications to make it simple as well as convenient for users.Their extraordinary proficient skills and creative minds bring the concepts into reality, making the IPhone, IPad and Ipod objects of lust.

But skilled workers do not guarantee the success or even survival of a company. A far-sighted leader is an indispensable factor as well. A good leader is capable of seeing how the whole industry will develop in the following years and even leading the whole industry. If Steve Jobs had not returned to Apple after he was first fired by his peers, never could we enjoy the convenience brought by advanced technologies from every niche of our life. He had fantastic ideas which most of his skilled workers don’t have. He was a genius and guru who was able to foresee the future: talking to telecommunication companies to follow his rule, inventing the concept of playlist as well as apple store, creating the earphones and touchable screens. What seemed incredible has brought into reality by visionary of Steve. Thanks to Steve, it is him who has achieved this feat and made Apple a success.

Another factor that plays an important role is the advanced devices and facilities. Computers have become necessities in every field of work. Researchers use them for complex calculation, and if the computers are outdated, they fail to accomplish the tasks. When this happens, no matter how skilled or experienced the staff is, the work cannot be possibly done. In the area of integrated circuits, making tinier and more functional chips in nanometer scale require sophisticated facilities which cost as much as millions of dollars. Skilled workers only do not cater to the need apparently.

In short, although we cannot deny the significance of skilled workers, far-sighted leaders as well as updated facilities are equally important.

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-20 15:57
标题: 付图图9.20综合写作TPO24 第二个观点写的不好。。
9.20综合写作：TPO24

The reading material holds the view that Tyrannosaurus rex still contains remains of the actual tissues because of the insides of its leg bone. The lecturer, however, remains skeptical about this idea and puts forward three reasons that conflicts with that of reading material.

To begin with, the reading thinks that small branching channels found might indicate the existence of actual blood vessels of T.rex. But according to the lecturer, bacteria colonized in the bone and produced the organic substances inside the bone. The remains of blood vessels could actually be soft moist residue.

Furthermore, the presence of spheres is found in other primitive animals as well as T.rex which implies that what was found in the bone was actually reddish mineral.

Moreover, the passage says that collagen was found in the bone, but the lecturer negates this idea. He points out that collagen was not able to be existent for more than 100,000 years. However, the bone was dated back to 700,000 years ago. Therefore, he thinks that the collagen was from other sources such as researchers' skin instead of the bone itself.

To conclude, the passage thinks blood vessels, red blood cells and collagen matrix prove that the bone was from T.rex. But the professor provides several conflicting reasons to show the conclusion from reading is not persuasive.

作者: 婷婷connie 时间: 2012-9-21 20:51
9.21 综合
第二点确实木有写好啊
9.20综合写作：TPO24

Furthermore, the presence of spheres is found in other primitive animals as well as T.rex which implies that what was found in the bone was actually reddish mineral.
(这一段还算完整，不过有点少诶，detail缺少了一个，primitive animals do not contain red blood cells.)

Moreover, the passage says that collagen was found in the bone, but the lecturer negates this idea. He points out that collagen was not able to be existent for more than 100,000 years. However, the bone was dated back to 700,000 years ago. Therefore, he thinks that the collagen was from other （recent） sources such as researchers' skin instead of the bone itself.

To conclude, the passage thinks blood vessels, red blood cells and collagen matrix prove that the bone was from T.rex（这里表述有点问题吧~应该是residues represent blood vessels, red blood cells and collagen matrix.）. But the professor provides several conflicting reasons to show（that） the conclusion from reading is not persuasive.

Conclusion:听力细节还得注重，尤其是第二个主段，注意语言方面的准确性~

作者: loveluyuanbai 时间: 2012-9-21 23:04
有点事忙到现在才写作文抱歉了

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-22 13:18
你的建议很中肯谢谢！！！

有点事忙到现在才写作文抱歉了

-- by 会员 loveluyuanbai (2012/9/21 23:04:08)

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-22 13:19
建议很中肯谢谢！！！

9.21 综合
第二点确实木有写好啊
9.20综合写作：TPO24

Moreover, the passage says that collagen was found in the bone, but the lecturer negates this idea. He points out that collagen was not able to be existent for more than 100,000 years. However, the bone was dated back to 700,000 years ago. Therefore, he thinks that the collagen was from other （recent） sources such as researchers' skin instead of the bone itself.

Conclusion:听力细节还得注重，尤其是第二个主段，注意语言方面的准确性~

-- by 会员婷婷connie (2012/9/21 20:51:42)

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-22 14:19
标题: 付图图9.22综合写作 TPO2
9.22综合写作：TPO2

The reading material points out several advantages of working as a team. However, the lecturer holds the exactly opposite opinion, refuting all the reasons given by the reading.

To begin with, teamwork is not as beneficial as stated in the reading according to the professor. Although more people means a wider range of knowledge and seem to get the work done efficiently, it is likely that some team members get free ride and do nothing for the team. If so, the efficiency is not as ideal as it is supposed. Besides, it is common that one or two members contribute very fantastic ideas to the group and make the team a success. But the honor goes to all members instead of the real contributors. Therefore, what the contributors think may be just opposite to what the reading material suggests.

Furthermore, the professor thinks that making up a team does not necessarily exert favorable effect on individuals. During the discussion, everyone has his own idea, which makes it harder to reach consensus. Even though every member spits out his plan of the project, it is usually the head who makes the final decision, putting other plans aside. Moreover, when the team draws a wrong conclusion and the minority warn the rest of the danger, the warning is usually ignored. Once the team fails to complete the project, blame is placed on every team member.

In conclusion, the reading material supports working as a team but the lecturer cannot disagree any more with it.

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-23 13:53
标题: 9.23独立写作
9.23独立写作：
The competition between friends always has negative effect

Once born, we have been exposed to many kinds of competitions throughout the whole life. On most occasions, we have to deal with peer pressure. A successful man must have experienced fierce competition with his peers and ultimately stand out from them. From my perspective, competitions are beneficial to us if we get the essence of them.

Competitions make us aware of our shortcomings compared to others. There has been no one perfect and there never will. In order to succeed, we are supposed to compete with our friends and learn from their strong points as well as make up for our own drawbacks. LeBron James and Kevin Durant are the best small forwards in the world but LeBron dominate the entire league with amazingly strong body while Kevin is expert in fantastic long-range shot. However, their advantages are the other’s weakness. On the court, they are rivals, but their personal relationship is amicable. The two superstars experience devil training, defense the other and learn from each other every summer instead of training on their own. This kind of training is not merely a training, but a competition. They will find out who scores more efficiently, grab more rebound and send out more blocks. Therefore, before every season sets off, we will witness the emergence of two superstars with more dominant power. This kind of competition enables LeBron and Kevin to get a better understanding of the other’s strong point and learn from it to make them undefeatable.

Although I am favor of competitions between peers and friends, I am not saying that I support all kinds of competitions. My point is based on the hypothesis that all the competitors play fair and learn from others with an open mind. If some competitors failed to stick to the rule or even set up others, things would be different. When I was in middle school, I was selected as a member of soccer team. In the final game of the year, we encountered one of the best teams here and both teams were desperate for the champion. My team kept discussing about the strategies before the game, but one student from the other team violated the spirit of sport and even put some nails in the shoes of ours. Luckily, we found them before anyone got hurt. However, we were disappointed and shocked by the lack of sportsmanship. Eventually, we resorted to the referee and he deprived the other team of its qualification along with the champion. Unfair competition, such as abuse of drugs, is very common, especially in sports. Not only do competitions of this kind fail to enhance participants’ abilities, but they show the dark side of human nature as well. That is why it is our obligation to advocate fair competitions.

Related to the preceding discussion is my conclusion that whether competitions do harm or good to us depends heavily on what we desire to get from them. If we want to improve ourselves and learn from other, competition is an ideal way. However, if we do whatever we want to seek short-term satisfactory, the dark side of competition far outweigh its bright side.

作者: fuzhengrui 时间: 2012-9-24 14:26
标题: 9.24独立写作感觉没什么好写的。。所以细节很不具体。。求调教
9.24独立写作
Which do you choose to improve your health：kind of food you eat，amount of exercise，amount of stress

Increasing quality of life enables people to place more emphasis on living a healthy lifestyle. Some people throw themselves in the gym after work to stay in shape while others would like to be exposed to a little stress to energize themselves. From my perspective, however, I am fond of healthy food to improve my health conditions as following reasons.

Food provides indispensable nutrients and energy for our daily needs and metabolism. As a saying goes, "you are what you eat". We may survive without doing sports or working for a period of time, but never can we possibly live through when we do not have access to food for more than three days. To have a good health, we are supposed to have a balanced diet and put less oil or salt in our food while cooking. When I was a little boy, I got a crush on junk food, went to fast food stores on every other day to devour hamburgers that contain excessive oil and fat. You can imagine how plump and unhealthy I was. After finding out that I had a fatty liver as well as hypertension, so scared was I that I resolved to get rid of these diseases to which the elderly is usually prone. At first, I found it a torture to eat vegetables without meat, but I forced myself to do so for the sake of good health. One month later, when my liver was no longer fatty and my blood pressure was back to normal, I still stuck to healthy food such as lettuce, cabbage and onion, and it has never changed ever since. I could not imagine how poor my health would be if I had not abandoned the junk food. Therefore, what happened to me best explains the great importance of healthy food.

Admittedly, although I hold the view that healthy food is prior to the exercise and stress, it does not mean that we do not need them anymore. Having sports such as jogging and swimming promotes our metabolism, helps clean up the waste in our body and builds our strength. Likewise, adequate amount of stress prevents ourselves from indolence as well as sets goals for us to strive for. However, it is healthy food that counts to ensure all the activities we take part in every day. Without healthy food, what would be used to build our strength or provide energy for our stressful jobs? The answer is nothing for sure. Therefore, we can never overemphasize the indispensability of healthy food.

Related to preceding discussion is the conclusion that healthy food is of particular importance compared to stress and exercise. For me, I have experienced the huge benefits brought by healthy food, and I will definitely adhere to eat healthy food to keep fit for the rest of my life.

作者: 最后一次杀T 时间: 2012-9-24 15:26
Increasingquality of life enables people to place more emphasis on living a healthylifestyle. Some people throw themselves in the gym after work to build goodfigures while others would like to be exposed to a little stress to energizethemselves. From my perspective, however, I am fond of healthy food to improvemy health conditions as following reasons.

Food provides indispensable sources andenergy for our daily needs and metabolism. As a saying goes, "you are whatyou eat". We may survive without doing sports for a period of time, butnever can we possibly live through when we do not have access to food for morethan three days. To have a good health, we are supposed to havea balanced diet and put less oil or salt while cooking. 【And两边动词对称关系有歧义，个人认为可以改成名词对称。即we aresupposed to have a balanced diet and low-fat, low-salt meal】When I was a little boy, I got a crushon junk food and went to fast food store on every other day and had big meals. You can imagine how fat and unhealthy I was. After finding out thatI had
a fatty liver, I resolved to get rid of this disease to which the elderly isprone. At first, I found it a torture to eat vegetables without meat, but Iforced myself to do so for the sake of good health. One month later, when myliver was no longer fatty, I stuck to healthy food such as lettuce, cabbage andonion, and it has never changed ever since. Therefore, what happened to me bestexplains the great importance of healthy food.
【替换词 illustrate】
Admittedly, although I hold the viewthat healthy food is prior to the exercise and stress, it does not mean that wedo not need them anymore. Having sports such as jogging and swimming promotesour metabolism, helps clean up the waste in our body and builds our strength.Likewise, adequate amount of stress prevents ourselves from indolence as wellas sets goals for us to strive for. However, it is healthy food that counts toensure all the activities we take part in every day. Without healthy food, whatwould be used to build our strength or provide energy for our stressful jobs?So we can never overemphasize the indispensability of healthy food.

Related to preceding discussion is theconclusion that food is of particular importance compared to stress andexercise. For me, I have experienced the huge benefits brought by healthy food,and I will definitely adhere to eat healthy food to keep fit for the rest of mylife.【题目的目的是improve health，私以为改成keep fit有点片面了。。还是improve health比较切题。】最后就是结构上，一个理由貌似有点少，虽然字数上够了，但是inadequate。
总得来说，写的非常好，学习了。如果我说的有错误，也请多多指教···

作者: loveluyuanbai 时间: 2012-9-25 00:21
来晚了，有点事！见谅

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