ChaseDream

标题: 鲜花村的写作贴 [打印本页]

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-8-14 12:31
标题: 鲜花村的写作贴
《写作小分队》鲜花村
know about the events happening around the world that do not affect our life.D\A

As the modern society develops, there is a debate over whether we know about the events happening around the world that affect our life. Different people hold different opinions on this topic because of their distinct backgrounds. Some people arrest that it do not affect their life.In contrast, I prefer the view that know about events happening around the world that affect our life. My view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions.

The frist reason I want to put forward is that know about the event,especially,the security problem of different country or place really affect our life. A particular example for this is my parents who want to realize their dream that have a long trip by themself on Middle East,like Iran,Turkey...They concerned about the event happening around there before they would set out. By the news.,They know there had the bad situation because countries of Middle East were at war with each other. There is no denying that the security of Middle East have gone from bad to worse and it will risk the life. So they were compelled to give up having the long trip there. this example proves that know about events happening around the world is really important on our life.

The second reason I want to put forward is that know about the events happening around the world can make business avoid the bad economical situation.A good case in point is that my big brother Mike who run a big foreign trade business.he has a very good habit that concerns the world situation matters every day,and last year he had a hunch that the economics will depress，So he adjusted the market strategy in time and fortunately, tided over the crisis. What a great job my brother did!This case is not rare in reality.As a result,in order to running business on safety situation to improve the life of employer and employees,we have to know about the events happening around the world. But on the other hand,just imagine what would be like if he did not pay attention on the world economical events,he would out of control on his company,even put himself out of business.Not only would he get bankrupt,but his employees would lost their jobs which can keep their family's life.

'Know the mutant; kill the mutant.' How many times we hear such words like this.It is conceivable that knowing about the events happening around the world plays an important role in our life. On no account can we ignore the importance of this. So from what had been discussed,I reinforce my standpoint to choose to disagree the topic that know about the events happening around that do not affect our life.

作者: lemonyhu 时间: 2012-8-14 16:58
先把我的地址告你哈~
http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-743829-3-1.html#last

作者: lemonyhu 时间: 2012-8-14 17:25
8/13独立写作 TO：HUHU （从WORD文档贴过来的，字体和分段操作不了，麻烦凑合看一下哈！）
know about the events happening around the world that do not affect our life.D\A

As the modern society develops, there is a debate over whether we know about the events happening around the world that affects our life. Different people hold different opinions on this topic because of their distinct backgrounds. Some people arrest that it（it 指代的内容写出来更清楚） do（does）not affect their life. In contrast, I prefer the view that knowing（动名词作主语）about events happening around the world that affect our life. My view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions.

The frist reason I want to put forward is that know about the event,especially,the security problem of different country or place really affect our life. A particular example for this is my parents who want to realize their dream that have a long trip by themself on Middle East,like Iran,Turkey（这个地方我觉得用破折号更好 realize their dream- having a long trip to the Middle east 另外，like 一般不用来举栗子， as 更好。还有themselves的形式）. They concerned about the event happening around there before they would set out. By the news,(According to更好吧？~~~) They know there had the bad situation（something bad happened there）because countries of Middle East were at war with each other. There is no denying that the security of Middle East have（注意单复数哦）gone from bad to worse and it will risk the life. So they were compelled to give up having the long trip there. this example proves that know about events happening around the world is really important on our life.

The second reason I want to put forward is that know about the events happening around the world can make business avoid the bad economical situation（这个不太常用的感觉，prevent from之类的更明白）.A good case in point is that my big brother Mike who run a big foreign trade business.（这句话像没说完呢~建议和后面那句合起来，用从句说）he has a very good habit that concerns the world situation matters every day,and last year he had a hunch that the economics will depress，So he adjusted the market strategy in time and fortunately, tided over the crisis. What a great job my brother did! This case is not rare in reality.As a result,in order to running business on safety situation to improve the life of employer and employees,we have to know about the events happening around the world. But on the other hand,just imagine what would be like if he did not pay attention on（to） the world economical events, he wouldout of control on his company,even put himself out of business.Not only would he get bankrupt, but his employees would lost their jobs which can keep their family's life. （这句有些奇怪呢~后面记住用but also 才表示并且，keeps life不准）
'Know the mutant; kill the mutant.' How many times we hear such words like this. It is conceivable that knowing about the events happening around the world plays an important role in our life. On no account can we ignore the importance of this. So from what had been （has been）discussed, I reinforce my standpoint to choose to disagree the topic that know about the events happening around that do not affect our life.

总体来说思路清晰，例子也很好，但是用词有些还是不太准确，一些句型的运用不够熟练，需要多看看多练练，当然我也净是这种毛病TT
然后还是注意单三，你可以在word里写然后他会给你更正错误的，这样你自己就能自己找找错在哪儿，我觉得还是挺有好处的~
以上~~~辛苦啦

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-8-15 05:52
8/14 综合写作TPO-12

In the lecture,the professor completely refutes what stated in the reading passage.He said that the theory stated in the passage was very questionable.

First of all, the professor claims that Jane Austen had been dead for around 70 years. That means his family member who asserted the portrait was Jane Austen had never seen her at all .In contrast,the reading passage states that the portrait must be Jane Austen herself. So,the lecture totally disagrees with the view made in the reading.

Second,the professor mentions that the portrait should be one of Jane Austen's relatives. Because the Austen family was very large and there were many teenage female cousins who were similar to Jane Austen .Contradicting what is just stated in the reading that the face in this portrait is very similar to adult Austen's face of another painting which made by her sister,like nose,mouth,even overall shape of the face,but this proves nothing. This is another demonstration contradicts theory.

Finally,the professor raises the issue that the blank canvas which on the back of portrait did not sold in a period when Jane Austen was a teenager. Because according to the record,the businessman of this blank canvas started selling it till Jane Austen was 27 years old when she 's already an adult. This point disagrees with that the teenage girl of the portrait which has come up for sale by Asuten family is Jane Austen demonstrated in the reading.

In a summary,all above mentioned reasons of the lecture illustrate that the professor disagrees with the point.

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-8-16 08:08
8月15日独立写作
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.

As the modern society develops, there is a debate over whether we know about parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes. Different people hold different opinions on this topic because of their distinct backgrounds. Some people disagree that parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.In contrast, I prefer the view that parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes. My view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions.

First,It is universally acknowledged that the process of the growing is the process of learning and developing for children. They will learn discrimination between right and wrong. This is the important process of thinking for children.A recent case concerns my uncle's son Tom who's ten years old, likes eating ice cream very much. One day, he ate so many ice creams that got serious pain from his belly. My uncle immediately take Tom rush direct to hospital for an emergency treatment. Thank God,matter did not become worse. There's no doubt that Tom got serious pain experience and learnt by himself that taking cold food too much was a great influence on him health from this event. So we can see learning from their own mistakes is very necessary.

Second, learning how to handle the pressure when children faces the difficulties is also important for children in their process of the growing. As it did in the case of my sister's daughter Rose in her age 8. She broken her mother's favorite vase when she played with her friends home.To make matter worse, the broken vase made expensive hardwood floor mess around.She felt really sorry about it.when her mother got home,she deeply apologized to her mother and helped her to clean the floor earnestly, on this event, she knew about her mistake and she tried her best to face it and bravely dealed with it. What a great job Rose did!

In contrast, Imagine the result when parents do not allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn their own mistakes.These children will always follow their parents's thinking and reactions blindly. There is no denying that they will never learn how to thinking and how to handling when they meet the difficulties in their futures. It is really a great influence on their lives.

From all the above we discussed, we can safely draw the conclusion that in order to the health developing of children, we should let children learn to think and handle when they are in some difficult situations and learn to face them bravely when they make mistakes, and therefore parents should allow their children to make mistake and let them learn their own mistakes.

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-8-17 11:04
8月16日
独立
Nowadays, it is much easier to achieve success with help from one’s family than what is like before.

As the modern society develops, there is a debate over whether we know about it's much easier achieve success with help from one's family than what is like before. Different people hold different opinions on this topic because of their distinct backgrounds. Some people disagree that it's not much easier to achieve success with help from one's family than what is like before. In contrast, I prefer the view that it's much easier to achieve success with help from one's family than what is like before. My view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions.

First,There is no doubt that if one people wanna start an enterprise,he will have to prepare more money for it. Otherwise he can't keep it going on. A good case in point is that my classmate Rose who's family runs a very successful furniture factory. Rose like reading book very much,and her dream is running a book store. But the problem is not so simple if she wanna run a book store. Of cause, she need the money for opening the book store. And it's not just a very little money, it's around 50,000 yuan. Fortunately, her family gave her a hand when she's in this difficult situation. Now she's running the book store successfully. And recently she told me that she has alreay earned more money that she will open second book store in the near future. Thank to her family's support, she finally realized her dream.

Second,There is no denying that the good families will bring the profound impact on their children. It is universally acknowledged that the US President Bush and his family. We know bush's father had been a US President before, and now he became a US President again. We can't say there has no any connect with both. I think the education and impact from his family is very important. He can got lots form his family,like thinking method,learning direction,social skill and encouragement.His family gave him so many helps, that is why Bush can be US President.

Finally, on the contrary, if we can't get help from our families,I think we are hard to success. As it did in the case of my playmate May in my hometown, a little country village. Since she went to senior high school,she has studyed very hard,because her dream is leaving from the village to get education in university of big city. And when she's 20 years old she was admitted to an university of Beijing. What a great job May did! But unfortunately, at that year her father took sick and died a week late,and her family spent whole money, even owed others lots of money .So she can not get education in university,she have to get a job for the owing money. As far as we know.,nothing is more important than to receive education. This is really pity!So if we can't get help from our family we really can't easier to achieve success.

From all the above we discussed, we can safely draw the conclusion that It is much easier to achieve success with help from one’s family than what is like before.

作者: 晨依Jacqueline 时间: 2012-8-18 02:09
8月15日独立作文修改
写得不错，没有什么错误，就有几处小细节可能没注意粗心了。
我主要写了一些建议，不只是针对这篇文章来讲，可能会对以后的其他作文也会有帮助的吧。
Hope it helps...

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-8-18 03:03
17号综合TPO15 TO KCH

First,the lecture apparently disputes the points illustrated in the reading material. According to the passage that claims there has three suggestions for this topic.but this listening is not in agreement with that of the reading passage.

First, the reading passage states that cane toad can be keep in limit place by national fence to control growing and propagating.but the professor hold a positive attitude towards that because the national fence can't work on the river way,like rivers and streams which will spear out to the place that national fence doesn't cover. So the young canes and cane eggs still can multiplied rapidly in other side. This suggestion is not effective.

Second,the professor mentions that letting the volunteer to capture and destroy the cane toad is not wise. She asserts that these volunteers didn't be trained on how to know which one is the cane toad and which one is not the cane toad. So they maybe capture and destory the wrong animal that similar with cane toad. And if they didn't be trained, they may can't distinguish whether the toad is safety to people or not. If not, that will be dangerous to volunteers. This content that explicitly contradicts that reading passage.

Finally,the professor opposes to the reading passage's expectation that using the virus to control the cane toad's populations is not a good idea. Because if the people use this kind of virus on the cane toads, theres will has a problem that if the researchers or pet collections who are from America attempt to take bring some cane toads with the virus to their country. These cane toads might be seriously infect to the other animal's populations in America,even destory the local place's ecosystem,becuase in the America, the cone toad is a native animal and it is the vital part of the America ecosystem.otherwise, it will cause a seriously ecosystem disaster.

In conclusion, the point made in the lecture contracts with that is presented in the reading material.

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-8-18 03:05
谢谢晨依帮我改的这么细心哈。。我要好好消化消化。吼吼。。

作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤 时间: 2012-8-18 09:45

8月15日独立作文修改
写得不错，没有什么错误，就有几处小细节可能没注意粗心了。
我主要写了一些建议，不只是针对这篇文章来讲，可能会对以后的其他作文也会有帮助的吧。
Hope it helps...

-- by 会员晨依Jacqueline (2012/8/18 2:09:11)

噗呲。。。o(*≧▽≦)ツ下载次数：3！！！

作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤 时间: 2012-8-18 09:45
TPO-12
In the lecture,the professor completely refutes what stated in the reading passage.He said that the theory stated in the passage was very questionable. (我的建议是开头最好能明确说一下reading和lecture的主要观点~~ 你这个开头会给人感觉是直接背得，因为无论哪一篇综合写作，这个开头都是可以用的，所以要避免这种情况啊~~~~至少 He said that the theory 这儿的the
theory必须明说~~)

First of all, the professor claims that Jane Austen had been dead for around 70 years(此处听力部分的意思是说 the portrait was authorized for use的时候J.A.已经dead70年，所以你最好把到哪个点是70年写上去，直接had been逻辑上不是很好). That means ~~his~~(her，这个错误。。。。) family members who asserted the portrait was Jane Austen had never seen her at all .In contrast,the reading passage states that the portrait must be Jane Austen herself(reading的观点应该放在开头，因为in contrast/however之后的是主要的观点，所以建议先简短说一下reading的观点，在着重讲listening，这样更好一些！). So,the lecture totally disagrees with the view made in the reading.

Second,the professor mentions that the portrait ~~should be~~(这儿用should be，语气过于强烈，不妨用could very well be) one of Jane Austen's relatives. Because the Austen family was very large and there were many teenage female cousins who were similar to Jane Austen .Contradicting what is just stated in the reading that the face in this portrait is very similar to adult Austen's face of another painting which made by her sister,like nose,mouth,even overall shape of the face,but this proves nothing(这句话语法错误，contradicting的逻辑主语是什么？“，but”前后必须要有完整句子，但是显然你这儿前面没有句子；所以前半句不妨改成the reading stated that。。。。。。). This is another demonstration contradicts the theory.

Finally,the professor raises the issue that the blank canvas which on the back of portrait(这儿细节错误，首先，on the back 的是stamp，其次，blank canvas是 the actual piece of cloth on which the picture was painted) did not sold in London in a period when Jane Austen was a teenager. ~~Because~~ according to the record,the businessman of this blank canvas started selling it ~~till~~(when，或者not。。。until。。。) Jane Austen was 27 years old ~~when~~(-- 这儿可以用破折号) ~~she’s~~(she had) alreadybeen an adult. This point disagrees with the thinking that the teenage girl of the portrait which has come up for sale by Asuten family is Jane Austen demonstrated in the reading.

In a summary,all above mentioned reasons of the lecture illustrate that the professor disagrees with the point.(和开头同样的道理，你有个结尾本来是挺好的，但是你现在这么写的话，其实在考官看来和没有结尾是差不多~~~ 所以一定要体现出这个结尾是针对这道题的，而不是一个模版，而最好的办法莫过于将 the point具体展开明说~~~)

总体来说还行，但是有些听力细节的把握上还要继续努力~~~
还有就是你开头结尾，一定要去讲一下详细的point，不然会给人直接背模版的感觉，这直接影响你的得分哟~~~

作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-18 09:47
不好意思昨天又回家晚了...><补上！
关于时间问题，这个就是慢慢练的，我一开始都要两个小时神马的……至于话题，我觉得和写中文作文一样啊？没想太多额。

Nowadays, it is much easier to achieve success with help from one’s family than what is like before.

As the modern society develops, there is a debate over whether we know about it's much easier achieve success with help from one's family than what is like before. Different people hold different opinions on this topic because of their distinct backgrounds. Some people disagree that it's not much easier to achieve success with help from one's family than what is like before. In contrast, I prefer the view that it's much easier to achieve success with help from one's family than what is like before. My view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions.

First,There is no doubt that if one people wanna start an enterprise,he will have to prepare more money for it. Otherwise he can't keep it going on. A good case in that point is that my classmate Rose who's family runs a very successful furniture factory. Rose like reading book very much,and her dream is running a book store. But the problem is not so simple if she wanna run a book store. Of cause, she need the money for opening the book store. And it's not just a very little money, it's around 50,000 yuan. Fortunately, her family gave her a hand when she's in this difficult situation. Now she's running the book store successfully. And recently she told me that she has alreay earned more money that she will open second book store in the near future. Thanks to her family's support, she finally realized her dream.

Second,There is no denying that the good families will bring the profound impact on their children. It is universally acknowledged that the US President Bush and his family. We know bush's father had been a US President before, and now he became a US President again. We can't say there has no any connect with both. I think the education and impact from his family is very important. He can got lots form his family,like thinking method,learning direction,social skill and encouragement.His family gave him so many helps, that is why Bush can be US President.

Finally, on the contrary, if we can't get help from our families,I think we are hard to success. As it did in the case of my playmate May in my hometown, a little country village. Since she went to senior high school,she has studyed very hard,because her dream is leaving from the village to get education in university of big city. And when she's 20 years old she was admitted to an university of Beijing. What a great job May did! But unfortunately, at that year her father took sick and died a week late,and her family spent whole money, even owed others lots of money .So she can not get education in university,she have to get a job for the owing money. As far as we know.,nothing is more important than to receive education. This is really pity!So if we can't get help from our family we really can't easier to achieve success. we really can't achieve success easily

From all the above we discussed, we can safely draw the conclusion that It is much easier to achieve success with the help from one’s family than what is// it's like before.

感觉楼主的表达很清晰，语言功底不错的。就是有些粗心的小错误，大小写啊什么的
另外楼主第三段反着说我觉得是比较新意的，但是就是太宽泛了，感觉抓不住点。楼主可以再琢磨一下～

作者: 晨依Jacqueline 时间: 2012-8-18 10:17

8月15日独立作文修改写得不错，没有什么错误，就有几处小细节可能没注意粗心了。我主要写了一些建议，不只是针对这篇文章来讲，可能会对以后的其他作文也会有帮助的吧。Hope it helps...-- by 会员晨依Jacqueline (2012/8/18 2:09:11)

噗呲。。。o(*≧▽≦)ツ下载次数：3！！！-- by 会员超级无敌小鹤鹤 (2012/8/18 9:45:06)

要不我把附件撤了吧，不给别人看了。。

作者: 超级无敌小鹤鹤 时间: 2012-8-18 12:03

噗呲。。。o(*≧▽≦)ツ下载次数：3！！！-- by 会员超级无敌小鹤鹤 (2012/8/18 9:45:06)

要不我把附件撤了吧，不给别人看了。。

-- by 会员晨依Jacqueline (2012/8/18 10:17:49)

哈哈~~~

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-8-18 12:09
谢谢晨依和鹤鹤的帮助，废话少说。。。。我会加油滴

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-8-18 19:28

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

First（这里多余啦）,the lecture apparently disputes the points illustrated in the reading material. According to the passage that claims there has（are） three suggestions for this topic（应该简述一下这个topic 的）.but this listening is not in agreement with that of the reading passage.

First, the reading passage states that cane toad can be keep in limit（这个是verb） place by national fence to control growing and propagating.but the professor hold a positive（opposite？） attitude towards that because the national fence can't work on the river way,like rivers and streams which will spear out to the place that national fence doesn't cover. So the young canes and cane eggs still can multiplied rapidly in other side. This suggestion is not effective.

Second,the professor mentions that letting the volunteer to capture and destroy the cane toad is not wise. She asserts that these volunteers didn't be trained（have not been） on how to know（这里应该是分辨出来distinguish） which one is the cane toad and which one is not the cane toad. So they maybe capture and destory the wrong animal that similar with cane toad. And if they didn't be trained, they may can't distinguish whether the toad is safety to people or not. If not, that will be dangerous to volunteers（这一点我确实没有听到额）. This content that explicitly contradicts that reading passage.

Finally,the professor opposes to the reading passage's expectation that using the virus to control the cane toad's populations is not（not 去掉，在reading里面着就是一个好idea啊） a good idea. Because if the people use this kind of virus on the cane toads, theres will has a problem that if the researchers or pet collections who are from America attempt to take bring some cane toads with the virus to their country. These cane toads might be seriously infect to the other animal's populations in America,even destory the local place's ecosystem,becuase in the America, the cone toad is a native animal and it is the vital part of the America ecosystem.otherwise, it will cause a seriously ecosystem disaster.

In conclusion, the point made in the lecture contracts with that is presented in the reading material

在标点之后空一格，然后最后一段的逻辑好搞的好一点啊。听力的点倒是很全。

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-8-19 01:07
8/18独立The best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries

As the modern society develops, there is a debate over whether we know about the best way to improve the quality of education is increase teacher's salaries. Different people hold different opinions on this topic because of their distinct backgrounds. Some people disagree that the best way to improve the quality of educations is increase teachers' salaries. In contrast, I prefer the view that the best way to improve the quality of education is increase teachers' salaries. My view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions.

Frist, there is no denying that the quality of education depends on teacher's teaching method and teaching measure.improving these skills are the process about learning from books or advanced programs. How many times we hear such word like this'The more books we read, the more learned we become.' . Of cause,increase teacher's salaries can let them earn more money. That mean they can spend more money on those relevant books and advance programs.Like my teacher Mr. Li who is the best English teacher that I have ever had. She spends more time and efforts on improving her teaching skill.So she need more money for books and programs, even some abroad advanced programs which is undoubtedly useful to improve her quality of education.

Second, on no account can we ignore the value of high salary. Because the high salary can support the high quality of teacher's living,like changing the house condition and transport condition for their families,even they can afford to tourism with their families. Absolutely,teachers who earn more money to change the life quality of their families can win the support of their families on their jobs. Meanwhile,the teachers who are full of enthusiasm are more likey to imporve teachers' quality of education .

Finally, There is no doubt that our educational system leaves something to be desired. But nothing is more important than to receive education.if we do not increase the teachers' salaries on improving the quality of eduction. They will have no zeal on their job. And they will just drift along aimlessly,they have no incentive to improve their quality of education because their small salaries. That will be worst for students.Because there is no denying that the high quality of education has a great influence on student's learning,studying and growing. So it is conceivable that the high salary plays an important role in teacher's life ,and we should bring home to teachers the value of working hard on improving high education quality.

From all the above we have discussed, we can safely draw the conclusion that in order to the healthy growth of the yonnger generation and the prosperity of country. We should let teachers get more power and zeal on their teaching quality. So I reinforce my standpoint to choose they best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries.

作者: ykhjy 时间: 2012-8-19 15:03
8/18独立The best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries
修改~~~蓝色good 黄色需修改红色我改的绿色批注

As the modern society develops, there is a debate over whether we know about the best way to improve the quality of education is increase[increasing] teacher's salaries. Different people hold different opinions on this topic because of their distinct backgrounds. Some people disagree that the best way to improve the quality of educations is increase teachers' salaries[可以适当变换句型喔~比如说it is the best way to ..]. In contrast, I prefer the view that the best way to improve the quality of education is increase teachers' salaries. My view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions.[没什么问题，很工整的开头，就是感觉能偶尔变换下句型会更好~]

Frist, there is no denying[总感觉有点奇怪，一般是there is no doubt 或者是 no one can deny] that the quality of education depends on teacher's[teachers'] teaching method and teaching measure[觉得和前面的method重复].Improving these skills are[is] the process about learning from books or advanced programs. How many times we hear such word like this'The more books we read, the more learned we become.' . Of cause[这个连词不太恰当把，我感觉这里这句话可以和后面的那句话连起来，比如说，Thus with a higher salaries, teachers can spend more money...],increase teacher's salaries can let them earn more money. That mean they can spend more money on those relevant books and advance programs.Like my teacher Mr. Li who is the best English teacher that I have ever had. She spends more time and efforts on improving her teaching skill.So she needs more money [to pay] for books and programs,[and she] even [will purchase] some abroad advanced programs which is[are] undoubtedly useful to improve her quality of education.[论述教育质量依赖老师的知识，老师的知识来源于书本，而这些书本要靠salary来买。逻辑上没什么问题，只是老师都有这么好么，都会拿工资买书提高自己的教学？。。哈哈。这么写应该也是可以的]

Second, on no account can we ignore the value of high salary. Because the high salary can support the high quality of teacher's living,like[such as] changing[这里用一些提高类的词或许更好，如better、improve之类的] the house condition and transport condition for their families,even they can afford to tourism with their families. Absolutely,teachers who earn more money to change the life quality of their families can win the support of their families on[for这个我不太确定，感觉是support for] their jobs. Meanwhile,the teachers who are full of enthusiasm are more likey to imporve teachers' quality of education .[论述高工资带来高生活质量，然后teacher就是更有热情教书。应该也可以。。]

Finally, There is no doubt that our educational system leaves something to be desired[我不太明白这里什么意思额，是想说教育体制遗留很多问题么？是不是想用designed。如果是那样的话这么说 many problems in the educational system needed to be solved ]. But nothing is more important than to receive education.if we do not increase the teachers' salaries ~~on[to] improving[improve] the quality of education~~, they will have no zeal on their job. And[Thus] they will just drift along aimlessly,[and]they [will 前后时态一致] have no incentive to improve their quality of education because their small[low] salaries. That will be worst for students[这里不用分句] because there is no denying that the high quality of education has a great influence on student's ~~learning,~~studying and growing. So it is conceivable that the high salary plays an important role in teacher's life ,and we should bring home to teachers the value of working hard on improving high education quality.[这段内容就觉得有点勉强了。因为文章需要证明老师薪水提高是不是会提高教育质量，这一段内容已经假定薪水提高对教育质量的提高是有作用的了。]

From all the above we have discussed, we can safely draw the conclusion that in order to [这里得加个动词，in order to do sth. 可以用guarantee] the healthy growth of the yonnger generation and the prosperity of country.[这里不能断句额，in order to引导状语从句] we should let teachers get more power and zeal on their teaching quality. So I reinforce my standpoint to choose they best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries.
【总体来说呢，文章立场明确，结构也蛮清晰的
tips：1.论证内容有点勉强，可能lz是不是把the quality of education 都从teacher的方面考虑了，建议再考虑下几个point额
2.注意逻辑连词，还有不能随便断句
3.句型可以多一些变化~~这方面我不太行。。】有问题找我讨论喔~

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-8-21 10:13
不好意思，作业交晚了。

8月20日your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.
As the modern society develops, there is a debate over whether our job has more effect on our happiness than our social life does. Different people hold different opinions on this topic because of their distinct backgrounds. Some people think that the job has more effect on the happiness than the social life does. In contrast, I prefer the view that the social life has more effect on my happiness than the job. My view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions.

First,no one can deny that friends plays an important role in our life.We always have a heart-to-heart talk with knees together. I will fell very comfortable and happyiness when I stay with my friends who cherish the same ideals and follow the same path. we can talk about any topic.such as the relationship with lover, the pressure from job,even the contradiction with family. Then we can finds comfort with each other. A recent case concerns my pressure from my study in the beginning of this years and I talked this problem to my friends and ask some suggestion. My friends realized that I need a refresh power, So they gave me a surprise-a music and dancing party for me! And they invite more friends and their families to hold this party for me.At that night , I felt very happiness and really got more power from my friends. This feeling is not from the music and dancing on that party,it is from their care and concern on me.

The second reason for my view that the social life has more effect on my happiness than the job is to be a social worker.I am a volunteer of local Animal Control Center. I really enjoy this social work . I had been worked there for five years,and I go there every week. I usually do some routine tasks there with other volunteers, like clean the cats's cages and change the foods, scrub the dirty floors in the dog's zone, even sometime I need help the other volunteers bathe these animals. Whenever I see these animals and places become to clean I will feel I did a worthwhile job. Though these tasks are kind of filthy and boring. But I feel very happy because I can devote myself to these activities without any pay.

Finally, I have a job as a secretary of a famous business company. I need spend nine hours on my job everyday. There are lots of meeting I need attend to. And even I need work extra shifts on some special holiday. So It is conceivable that how big pressure I have! Though my boss and colleagues are so nice with me. But I still feel very tired and get big pressure on working the such fast paced team environment.So I can't feel my job has more effect on me happiness than my social life does.

So from what has been discussed, I reinforce my standpoint to choose that my social life has more effect on my happiness than my job does.

作者: T不死 时间: 2012-8-21 14:21
As the modern society develops, there is a debate over whether our job has more effect on our happiness than our social life does. Different people hold different opinions on this topic because of their distinct backgrounds. Some people think that the job has more effect on the happiness than the social life does. In contrast, I prefer the view that the social life has more effect on my happiness than the job. My view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions. （第一段不错）

First, no one can deny that friends plays（play） an important role in our life. We always have a heart-to-heart talk with knees together. I will fell (feel) very comfortable and happiness when I stay with my friends who cherish the same ideals and follow the same path. We can talk about any topic, such as the relationship with lover, the pressure from job, even the contradiction with family. Then we can finds（find） comfort with each other. A recent case concerns my pressure from my study in the beginning of this years and I talked this problem to my friends and ask some suggestion. My friends realized that I need a refresh power, so they gave me a surprise-a music and dancing party for me(可以删除)! And they invite more friends and their families to hold this party for me(可以删除)!.At that night , I felt very happiness and really got more power from my friends. This feeling is not from(not because of) the music and dancing on that party,it is from(but because of) their care and concern on me.

The second reason for my view that the social life has more effect on my happiness than the job is to be a social worker(这个部分不是很看懂，是不是可以改为The second reason why balabala is that I can get more joyous when I do social work).I am a volunteer of local Animal Control Center. I really enjoy this social work . I had been worked there for five years, and I go there every week. I usually do some routine tasks there with other volunteers, like clean the cats's(复数直接加’) cages and change the foods, scrub the dirty floors in the dog's zone, even sometime I need help (from) the other volunteers to bath bathe these animals. Whenever I see these animals and places become to (可以去掉) clean I will feel I did a worthwhile job. Though these tasks are kind of（somewhat） filthy and boring. But(句号改逗号，but去掉) I feel very happy because I can devote myself to these activities without any pay.

Finally, I have a job as a secretary of a famous business company. I need（to）spend nine hours on my job everyday. There are lots of meetings I need （to）attend to(去掉). And even I need （to） work extra shifts on some special holiday. So（句号改逗号） It is conceivable that how big pressure I have! Though my boss and colleagues are so nice with me. But(句号改逗号，but去掉)I still feel very tired and get big pressure on working the such fast paced（pace）team environment.So（句号改逗号）I can't feel my job has more effect on me happiness than my social life does. （本段用了比较多的need. 可以改为 have to.或者 The job entails,或者The work require. 还有so的用法要注意， so 有副词和连词词性，例如副词词性The flower is a beautiful。连词词性的话，一般是把两个独立的句子连接起来，表示因果，这时候so前面应该是,而不是句号。还有though (although) , but的用法是错的，只能保留一个。这里的though,but也是连词，要避免断句）

另外本段的分论点不是很清晰，开头直接用例子不是很好。可以直接来一句It is difficult to achieve happiness in the office work because of the work pressure

So from what has been discussed, I reinforce my standpoint to choose that my social life has more effect on my happiness than my job does

文章的例子题材以及逻辑结果都比较好，以后注意些连词，小词的用法，多练笔就可以了

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-8-22 00:44
8/21综合 TPO19

In the lecture, Bill who is invited by the marketing class professor completely refutes what stated in the reading passage. According to the passage,it demonstrates that using the buzzer to promote the product has the negative image on marketing. However,in the listening material, Bill is not in agreement with that of the reading passage, he states that buzzer has many positive images for consumers.

First of all, Bill claims that companies always choose the customers who really used their product and realized it very good to be the buzzers. These buzzers will provide their truth feeling on the product which the companies need them to promote to customers. Though these buzzers are paid by companies ,they will never do like the actors who just show the performance not the truth thinking on the TV advertisment. In contrast ,the reading passage points out that the the buzzers always promote the product with the untruthy thinking to customers. So the lecture totally disagrees with the view made in the reading passage.

Second, Bill states that the customers who the buzzers promote the product to are always ask many questions about this product,like its price, the service,and how long the buzzer had been used. It seems the customers are very thoughtful on the product which they really interested in. Contradicting what is stated in the reading that the customers always blind attempt and purchase the product when the buzzer promote it to them.

Finally, Bill raises the issue that promoting a product to friends-another type of customers by the buzzers. This way will help to increase the friendship. Because, if the buzzer introduced a product which he really used and feel its good to his friends,his friends maybe will purchase it and try it . Then they will love it while get a good experience on this product. So there is no doubt that this will improve the relationship between buzzers and their friends. But the reading passage points out that the friends of the buzzers should be unwilling to trust them if the buzzers promote the product to their friends. It opposes to the lecture's expectation.

In conclusion, the point made in the lecture contracts with what is presented in the reading material.

作者: ykhjy 时间: 2012-8-22 14:30
8.21 综合修改·~
蓝色good 黄色需修改红色我改的绿色批注总结
In the lecture, Bill who is invited by the marketing class professor completely refutes what stated in the reading passage. According to the passage,it demonstrates that using the buzzer to promote the product has the negative image on marketing.[总觉得有点奇怪，image有影响的意思么？如果只有印象的意思，就用得不太好了] However,in the listening material, Bill is not in agreement with that of the reading passage, he states that buzzer has many positive images [还是那个问题~文中应该是说得蛮客观的，只是澄清有些人对buzzer的误解。]for consumers.

First of all, Bill claims that companies always choose the customers who really used their product and realized it very good to be the buzzers. These buzzers will provide their truth[true]feeling on the product which the companies need them to promote to customers. Though these buzzers are paid by companies ,they will never do like the actors who just show the performance not the truth thinking on the TV advertisment. In contrast ,the reading passage points out that the the buzzers always promote the product with the untruthy thinking to customers. So the lecture totally disagrees with the view made in the reading passage.【细节非常好！】

Second, Bill states that the customers who the buzzers promote the product to are always asking many questions about this product,like its price, the service,and how long the buzzer had[has 时态前后要一致把，这个我不确定。可以讨论下]~~been~~ used [the product] . It seems the customers are very thoughtful on the product which they [are] really interested in. [感觉这句话是自己的观点。文中未提及呀~~不用写的]Contradicting what is stated in the reading that the customers always blindly attempt and purchase the product when the buzzer promotes it to them.

Finally, Bill raises the issue that promoting a product to friends-another type of customers by the buzzers. This way will help to increase the friendship. Because, if the buzzer introduced a product which he really used and feel its good to his friends,his friends maybe will purchase it and try it . Then they will love it while get a good experience on this product. So there is no doubt that this will improve the relationship between buzzers and their friends. But the reading passage points out that the friends of the buzzers should be unwilling to trust them if the buzzers promote the product to their friends. It opposes to the lecture's expectation.【这段有问题，文中没有指出是friends！只是普通buzzer和普通顾客之间的trust 整个社会的trust】

In conclusion, the point made in the lecture contracts with what is presented in the reading material.【细节很具体挺好的但要注意不要提及自己观点不要听错点了】

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-8-23 09:38
独立写作8月22日parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently

As the modern society develops, there is a debate over between that parents should help children to do their work and encourage children to do their work independently. Every man has his faults. Should parents help children to do their work ? Should parents encourage children to do their work independently? Opinions vary among people due to distinct backgrounds. I, however, I prefer the view that parents should encourage children to do their work independently.My view can be greatly substantiated by following reasons.

First, there is no doubt that we need improve children's thinking and problem-solving skills which are important for their future. If we need improve these skills for children ,we need encourage them to do their work by themselves. As it did in the case of my uncle's son Tom who is 12 years old. One day,he asked his father why the car can move on the road by itself. My uncle didn't answer Tom's question directly instead of getting him in the car. He set a example to Tom that how to make the car's engine to work by the car key. and asked Tom the relation between the engine and car. Of cause Tom can't answered it clearly. So after several days, his father bought some car-models from the store while borrowed some special car books from library. Then he encouraged Tom to find the answers from these resources by himself. Tom had spent his whole spare time on it in that period. Thanks to his father encouragement, he finally find out the answer about why the car can move by itself. The most important thing is that he became to interested in cars and he told me he want be a motorcar engineer in future.

Second, on no account can we ignore the importance of organization of children. Like my little sister Rose.When she was five , she began to be asked arrange her room independently, like clean the trash can, fold her clothes.and arrange all toys and on forth. At the beginning of this process, she asked my mother to help her on this task. But my mother didn't really give her a hand, she just give her some oral directions with setting some simply examples. Like how to fold the clothes.and how to clean the trash from the floor. Though Rose was feeling very confused on these tasks at the beginning. But she tried to think how to deal with these troubles and tried to do them by herself. In spite of she didn't to everything perfectly, but she tried her best to deal with them, and she learned these skills by herself very fast. Her teacher was so proud of her and awarded a big praise before other students when her teacher knew that she can do these things. What a great job Rose did!

Finally, I disagree that parents should help children to do their work because of the recent case about my cousin brother Jackie who is 7-year- old student in elementary school.He doesn't like math because he always get the low grades. But It's a wonder that his math homework is always on the great job. So the teacher who was very confused on it made a home visit. And then the teacher knew from Jackie's father. He said he always help Jackie on the math homework because Jackie doesn't like the math and don't want spend more time on it in the past time. The teacher realized problem and let the father knew that if he always help his child on the homework, that mean this child has no chance to think and solve the problem by himself. He will always depend on his parent's help.So he will never learn math well. Then he will more depressed and more diffidence when he found he always get a low grades.It is conceivable that this pessimistic sentiment will impact his whole life.

From all the above I discussed, I can safely draw the conclusion that in order to the health developing of children, we should let them learn to thinking and handling when they are in some difficult situations and learn to face them. Therefore, the parents should encourage their children learn to do the work independently for sure.

作者: freddychan 时间: 2012-8-23 12:09
标题: 8/22独立批改，from freddy
As the modern society develops, there is adebate over between that parents should help children to do their work andencourage children to do their work independently. Every man has his faults.Should parents help children to do their work ? Should parents encouragechildren to do their work independently? Opinions vary among people due todistinct backgrounds. I, however, I (去掉) prefer the view that parentsshould encourage children to do their work independently. My view can begreatly substantiated by following reasons.
First, there is no doubt that we need (to) improve children's thinking and problem-solving skills whichare important for their future. If we need improve these skills for children(感觉有点重复，可以尝试用Ifwe want to do so) ,we need(hadbetter) encourage them to do their work by themselves. As it did in thecase of my uncle's son Tom who was 12 years old. One day, he asked his fatherwhy the car can(could)move on the road by itself. Myuncle didn't answer Tom's question directly instead of getting him in the car.(这句话感觉有点奇怪，是不是应该My uncle didn’t answer hisquestion, and instead, got him in the car?) He set a(an) example to Tom that howto make the car's engine to(/)work by the car key, and asked Tom(him)the relations between the engine and (the) car. Of cause Tom can't answered(couldn’t answer) it clearly. So after several days,his father bought some car-models from the store while borrowed some specialcar books from library. Then he encouraged Tom to find the answers from theseresources by himself. Tom had(/)spent his whole spare time on it in that period. Thanks to his father(father’s) encouragement,he finally find(found)out the answer about why the car can move by itself. The most important thingis that he became to(/)interested in cars and he told me he want(wanted to) be a motorcar engineer in future.
Second, on no account can we ignore the importance of organization of children(这是什么意思？孩子们的组织？是自理能力么？self-care ability?). Like my little sister Rose. When she was five ,she began to be asked (to)arrange her room independently, like clean(cleaning) the trash can, fold(folding) her clothes, and arrange(arranging) alltoys and on forth(什么东东？). At the beginning of this process, she asked my mother to help heron this task. But my mother didn't really give her a hand, she just give（gave） her some oral directions with setting some simply examples, likehow to fold the clothe and how to clean the trash from the floor. Though Rose was feeling(felt) very confusedon these tasks at the beginning, but she tried to think how to deal with thesetroubles and tried to do them by herself. In spite of she didn't to everythingperfectly(in spite of后面加的是名词，一般是fact，而且虽然、但是只能用一个，用了though就不能用but), but（/） she tried her best to deal with(handle) them, and she learned theseskills by herself very fast. Her teacher was so proud of her and awarded a bigpraise before(in front of)other students when her teacher knew that she can do these things. What a greatjob Rose did!
Finally, I disagree that parents should help children to do their work becauseof the recent case about my cousin brother Jackie who is 7-year- old student inelementary school. He doesn't like math because he always get(gets) the low grades. ButIt's a wonder(感觉有点中式英语，不需要这句，变为but his math homework is always on the great job.) So the teacherwho was very confused on（about） it made ahome visit. And then the teacher knew from Jackie's father. He said（found out the coreof the question that Jackie’s father） always helps Jackie(him) on the math homeworkbecause Jackie doesn't like the math and don't want (to) spend more time on it in the past time. Theteacher realized problem and let the father knew(know) that if he always help(helps) his child on the homework, that mean(means) this child has nochance to think and solve the problem by himself. He will always depend on hisparent's help. So(,and)he will never learn math well. Thenhe will more(worse still, he will feel much) depressed and morediffidence when he found(finds)he always get(gets) a lowgrades. It is conceivable that this pessimistic sentiment will impact his wholelife.
From all the above I (have) discussed, I can safely draw the conclusion that inorder to the health(healthy) developing of children, we should let them learn to thinking and handling(how tothink and handle) when they are in some difficult situations and learn to face them(/).Therefore, the parents should encourage their children learn to do the workindependently for sure.

Summary:
Merits: 文章写了700多个字，令人惊叹，而且例子也很好，很棒！
Shortcomings：时态问题很严重，还有第三人称单复数问题，我觉得你可以少写点字，多注意一下这方面问题，毕竟老外最讨厌这个。个人觉得其实没必要每个都写例子，有些用文字稍微阐述下就可以了，过多的例子会让文章显得不太紧凑。还有动词的选择方面可以用的更广一点，一意多词，没必要每次都是一样的，就好像一直need，可以转换下。还有句子的标点符号问题，简单句貌似有点小多。
Anyway, 还是重在积累，多谢谢，我觉得你字数没什么问题了，文章结构也很清楚，该在句子精炼上下点功夫了。
鉴于这是我第一次给别人改作文，所以我也不知道该注意什么，把想说的都说了，要是有不对的地方还请多担待哈~~个人观点，仅供参考！
一起加油吧~~ ^_^

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-8-24 06:21
8/23综合写作

The professor explained three aspects of genetically modified tree,each of which has successfully address the problems mentioned in the reading passage concerning survival, cost and negative effect.

First , the professor pointed out that the genetically modified tree will get a problem to survive when it move to a new place where the environment is not fit for it. Because of the climatic, pest, different environment and on forth. The reading passage ,by contrast ,suggests that the genetically modified tree is hardier then the other nature tree. The reading passage gives a example on the papaya-tree which is transplanted successfully.

The second point of difference between the lecture and the reading passage concerns the cost and profit of planting the genetically modified tree.The professor asserts that the specific company will charge the high fee on the planting genetically modified tree from the farmer for service.

Finally, the professor argues that the genetically modified tree will seize the more resource which the nature tree around them need to depend on for survival, such as light, nutrition, water.because the genetically modified tree always grow faster so they need more resources of course. However, the reading passage contends that the genetically modified tree can prevent can prevent overexploitation of wild trees, specially unique and rare species of trees because they are hardier and grows faster than other trees. It will very useful on economical in our lifes.

In a summary, All above opinions of the lecture illustrate that the professor disagrees with the points in the reading passage.

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-8-25 00:40
8/24独立。。
Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave. Do you A/D

As the modern society develops, there is a debate over whether movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.Different people hold different opinions on this topic because their distinct backgrounds. Some people agree that the movie and TV have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.In contrast, I prefer to disagree on this view. Myself view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions.

First, there is no doubt that watching movie and TV can make the people very comfortable. Especially for the young people who have the big pressure every day on their work or study. Watching movie and TV enable their to fell relaxed. Like myself, when I'm tried on my body and feel very limp on my brain, I always choose to watch some movies and TV programs which I'm interested in. This recreation will let me feel very comfortable and happy. It will very useful for my coming work or study under stain.

Second, there is no one but longs to make a good relationship with their friends and families. To watch movie and TV with them is a great pleasure of course. Because we can chat with each other on some mutual interested topics or joke with them in this happy time.Like a recent important event about Olympic games, we gathered together and watched TV for different Olympic sports every evening at that period time. I had lots of fun on this recreation with my friends and families.

Finally, on no account can we ignore the value of knowledge. The more knowledge we learn, the more learned we become. I never think that watching movie and TV will give young people more negative effects than positive effects, because there are always two sides to everything. The key is choose the correct program of movie and TV which will beneficial to our young people. Such as political news, 'discovery channel ',even education programs and on forth. I'd l like to rent some English film DVDs or choose some English programs on TV Because of improving my TOEFL listening skills. This learning method,unlike reading books, is not replaceable. I enjoyed every minute of this method that watching English movie and TV.

From all the above I have discussed, I can safely draw the conclusion that in order to have a good life habit for young people, we should improve our social skills and learning skills on the right method, meanwhile, this method also can give us more fun and relax, therefore, watching movie and TV is this right method. So I totally disagree that watching movie and TV have more negative effects than positive effects for young people.

作者: gre呀gre 时间: 2012-8-25 22:48
8.24 独立Movies and television have more negativeeffects than positive effects on the way young people behave. Do you A/D

窝是错误君窝是没错但是改了更好君窝是结构君窝是写的赞！
As the modern society develops, there is adebate over whether movies and television have more negative effects thanpositive effects on the way young people behave(这句话没错啦，窝觉得最好不要原话抄下来，换几个单词会更好，老外会比较喜欢~).Different peoplehold different opinions on this topic because （加上of）their distinct backgrounds. Some peopleagree that ~~the~~（这里不是特指啦） movie and TV have more negative effects than positive effects on theway young people behave.In contrast, I prefer to disagree on this view（这里指代的有点混乱了，直接说出你自己的观点最好了，或者把this换成such或that会更好）. Myself（反身代词不能这么用吧，换成my就好了） view can be greatly substantiated byfollowing discussions.
这一段结构没什么问题，中间那句提出别人的反面观点，突然就没下文了，感觉有点突兀啊，窝觉得要不然就不提出来，然后放到文章最后做成让步段反驳，要提出来反面观点就一句话反驳一下不成立的理由，这样会更好~

First（first在口语中比较常见，换成firstly更书面一些）, there is no doubt that watching movie and TV can make ~~the~~ peoplevery comfortable. Especially（换成逗号，especially后面不是完整的一句话）for the young people who have the（改成a，不是特指） big pressure every day on（是from吧，pressure一般都是压在人身上的啊） theirwork or study. Watching movie and TV enable their（them吧） to fell（是想说feel？笔误） relaxed. Like myself, when I'm（I am，托福写作不让用简写） tried on my body（窝觉得换成physically更好） andfeel very limp on my brain（窝觉得换成mentally更好）, Ialways choose to watch some movies and TV programs which I'm（I am）interested in. This recreation will let me feel very comfortable and happy. Itwill （加上be）veryuseful for my coming work or study under stain.

Second（secondly）, there is no one but longs to make a goodrelationship with their friends and families. To watch movie and TV with them（，of course，这样写更地道） is a great pleasure of course. （改成逗号，because后面是个从句，不能单独做句子）Because we can chat with each other on some mutual interested topicsor joke（jokes） ~~with them~~（重复了） in this happy time.Like a recent important event ~~about~~ Olympic games, we gathered together andwatched TV for（on更好吧） different Olympic sports everyevening at that period ~~time~~. I had lots of fun on this recreation withmy friends and families.

Finally, on no account can we ignore the value of knowledge.The more knowledge we learn, the more learned（窝觉得换成wiser更贴切） webecome. I never think（换成have never thought更好） that watching movie and TV will give young people more negativeeffects than positive effects, because there are always two sides to（on更好吧） everything. The key is （加上to或者把choose换成choosing）choose the correct program of movie and TVwhich will（加上be或者把beneficial换成benefit）beneficial to our young people.（换成逗号，such as后面不是完整句子）Such as political news, （加上the）'discoverychannel '（英语中有单引号么？貌似都是双引号啊）,even education programsand on forth.（加上一个过渡的会更好吧，比如Asfor me神马的） I'd（I would） like to rent some English film DVDs or （加上to更好）choosesome English programs on TV Because of （加上the help of会更好）improving my TOEFL listening skills.This learning method,unlike reading books, is not replaceable. I enjoyed（enjoy吧）every minute of this method that watching English movieand TV.（同位语that后面必须是完整的句子，把that换成逗号，或者在that之后加上means变成定语从句）

From all the（statement） above I have discussed, I can safely drawthe conclusion that in order to have a good life habit for young people,（young people和we有点逻辑混乱啊，在young people前加上us会更好） we should improve our social skills andlearning skills on（换成with会更好吧）the right method, meanwhile, this method also can（also放这里会更好）give us more fun and relax（relaxation）, （改成句号）therefore, watching movie and TV is this right method. So I totallydisagree that watching movie and TV have more negative effects than positiveeffects for young people.

Tips：写的挺好的，但是小问题还是很多啊，再细心一点就好了，这里是我的几个建议，希望对你有帮助~
1 标点符号神马的还是要注意，用好了文章地道简洁，用不好就是错误啦，所以写的时候要细心啊~
2 句子感觉有点过于简单了，写的更骚一点呗，毕竟托福就是为了显示你的写作水平有多么的牛逼，如果短时间内不能把句子写的更地道，那么就把词换成高端词神马的，CD上有相关帖子可以看看；
3 感觉a/an和the你有点分不清楚，窝觉得可以问一下度娘；
4 句子的结构上，很多句子感觉分不清楚是不是要独立成一个句子，也就是分不清完整句子和不完整句子，最简便的方法就是看谓语有没有，引导的连接词能不能单独引导一个主句；
5 词性的问题上感觉掌握的不是很清楚，背单词的话一定要注意词性，名词动词一定要分清楚，尤其是主语和宾语必须是名词性的，这个一定要注意，你的文章里这样的问题很多哦~
窝不是权威啊，所以有问题的话欢迎讨论！加油！(o^^)oo(^^o)

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-8-27 23:56
8/26 综合写作 TPO24
The professor explains three aspects of a 70-million-year-old fossil of Tyrannosaurus(T.rex). Each of which has successful addressed the problems which mentions in the reading passage concerning the existence about the organic material, red blood cells and collagen.

First, the professor points out that the organic material is much less likely from the T.rex. It is much more likely to be something else like bacteria which colonize hollows in the bones of T.rex. The reading passage,by contrast, suggests that the organic material should be from the T.rex. Because of the soft and flexible remains of the actual blood vessels of T.rex.

The second point of different between the lecture and the reading passage concerns the red blood cells which found by microscopic examination. The professor asserts that this tissue is probably just pieces of reddish mineral which the scientists found it in fossils of other animals found in the same place.

Finally ,the reading passage contends that the collagen has been found from the T.rex bones by a test.However,the professor argues that the collagen is not from T.rex but from some reccent source which contains collagen. Such as the skin of the researchers who are handling the bones. Because, this fossil of T.rex is 70 millions-year-old,that means is too improbable to has this kind of alive tissue on it. Even 100-year-old fossil of animals cannot be found out the collagen.

In a summary, all above opinions of lecture illustrates that the professor disagrees with the points in the reading passage.

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-8-28 10:22
写这篇文章要了我半条命，太痛苦了，啊啊啊。。。。

8/27独立写作 know a person from type of friends that he has,agree or disagree
As the saying goes, "Birds of a feather flock together, people of mind fall into the same group." Though we can think that people who gather together in the same group have the same demands or purpose, they still have the differences among these group, let alone in friends. As far as I concern,I disagree that knowing a person from his friends' type.My view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions.

To begin with, from the most convincing reasons from the my view, one must be stressed is that the two good friends have the totally different personality types. Like my best friends,Rose, who is a quite person. In contrast, I'm a open-mind person. Because of the different disposition,we have many difference. For example, Rose likes listening blues music, and I like listening rock music. Rose like clearing the room,and I hate doing any housework. Rose likes drawing,and I like dancing. From another point of view, usually extroverts tend to lack self-discipline while introverts lack courage. Like Rose always clams me when I'm angry and I also always encourage Rose when she is gutless. So depend on these, Who can say he will know me from Rose's type? What a ridiculous idea!

Secondly, it is universally acknowledged that friends are generally divided into two categories--a speaking acquaintance and confidant. Also can call"causal friend" and "close friend". A recent case concerns Tom who is my team-work partner on the working plan. We have cooperated very well. He sometimes buy me a drink for thanking me for the help on his work problem. We also chat with each other on some topics of our work area. Even Though we both enjoy this speaking process, our friendship is only limited to working field. If some one want to know what kind of person I am, how can he get my whole informations from Tom? There is no doubt that the person who want to know me will never get the right answers from my friend who called the speaking acquaintance.

From all the above I have discussed, I can safely draw the conclusion that in order to know a person objectively, we should not observe his friends' type to get the answers in a dogmatic way, and therefore. I disagree that knowing a person should be from types of friends that he has!

作者: sarahpx 时间: 2012-8-28 10:35
TP024修改

The professor explains three aspects of a 70-million-year-old fossil of Tyrannosaurus(T.rex). Each of which has successfully addressed the problems which mentions in the reading passage concerning the existence about the organic material, red blood cells and collagen.（开头从句套从句有点晕+_+）

First, the professor points out that the organic material is much less likely from the T.rex. It is much more likely to be something else like bacteria which colonize hollows in the bones of T.rex. The reading passage,by contrast, suggests that the organic material should be from the T.rex. Because of the soft and flexible remains of the actual blood vessels of T.rex.（谓语涅？LZ这意思没说完啊）

The second point of different between the lecture and the reading passage concerns the red blood cells which were（或者去掉which） found by microscopic examination（这个没印象啊，lz再听听？）. The professor asserts that this tissue is probably just pieces of reddish mineral which the scientists found it in fossils of other animals found in the same place. （哈？不是这个意思吧？）
Finally ,the reading passage contends that the collagen has been found from the T.rex bones by a test.（可以不用）However,the professor argues that the collagen is not from T.rex but from some reccent source which contains collagen. Such as the skin of the researchers who are handling the bones. Because, this fossil of T.rex is 70 millions-year-old,that means is too improbable to has this kind of alive tissue on （这个表达比较别扭的说）it. Even 100-year-old fossil of animals cannot be found out the collagen.

总的来说lz 的听力要听清楚的才好网上写，否则扣分很严重额。
然后句式可以稍微多样一点。

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-8-29 19:00
猫猫要偷懒了哈！难道是开学忙着接学弟还是学妹去了？

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-8-29 19:31

猫猫要偷懒了哈！难道是开学忙着接学弟还是学妹去了？

-- by 会员 kchszy061ban (2012/8/29 19:00:16)

惭愧啊，被一些私事耽误了，下不为例！
。8/28 写作TPO2

The reading passage explores the issue that Having a team of people attack a project can offers three advantages. However, the professor from the lecture argues that this idea is skeptical. To illustrate his opinion, he presents us three sound reasons.

First, the reading passage suggests one of the advantages is that a group of people who assembled into a team for new project will has wider range of knowledge,resource, experience for the team work. In the listening passage, by contrast, points out by the professor that some members who get the "free ride" didn't contribute much at all for the group,and they still can get the benefits when the group did a good job. The point is that this situation is not fair to the members who did contribute more for the group.

Moreover, to challenge the second identification from the passage.the professor explains that the team work always has the problem with the low efficiency.Although the passage states that a group can work more quickly with the highly creative solutions to problems and issues of the new project, the professor argues that this cannot be true. He offers the fact that There are always so many meetings for the new projects on some issues, like how to move the project on every step, especially one or two members who have the big influential in the team group might make the process move slowly because of more meetings on some ideas which not be accepted by them.

Finally, the professor opposes the third assertion of the passage by expressing that if the project fails because of the problems with the communication and coordinate by some team members, the blame was placed on all the members of the group .The result from the reading passage is taking part in a group process can be very rewarding for members of the team.

In a summary, all above opinions of lecture illustrates that the professor disagrees with the points in the reading passage.

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-8-29 20:12

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The reading passage explores the issue that Having a team of people attack a project can offers three advantages. However, the professor from the lecture argues that this idea is skeptical. To illustrate his opinion, he presents us three sound reasons.

First, the reading passage suggests one of the advantages is that a group of people who assembled into a team for new project will has wider range of knowledge,resource, experience for the team work. In the listening passage, by contrast, points（这里用被动语态？）out by the professor that some members who get the "free ride" didn't contribute much at all for the group,and they still can get the benefits when the group did （感觉这里不是have done，完成时比较好点？）a good job. The point is that this situation is not fair to the members who did contribute more for the group.

Moreover, to challenge the second identification from the passage.the professor explains that the team work always has the problem with the（这个the就不用也行） low efficiency.Although the passage states that a group can work more quickly with the highly creative solutions to problems and issues of the new project, the professor argues that this cannot be true. He offers the fact that There are always so many meetings for the new projects on some issues, like how to move the project on every step, especially one or two members who have the big influential in the team group might make the process move slowly because of more meetings on some ideas which not be accepted by them.（感觉这里句子太长了，而且有点重复。试下since some influencial members make the processes more complex by taking many unnecessary meetinng）

Finally, the professor opposes the third assertion of the passage by expressing that if the project fails because of the problems with the communication and coordinate by some team members, the blame was(is) placed on all the members of the group .The result from the reading passage is taking part in a group process can be very rewarding for members of the team.

In a summary, all above opinions of lecture illustrates that the professor disagrees with the points in the reading passage.
听力的点都很好，就是句子在组织下。

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-30 12:28
As the modern society develops, there is a debate over whether we know about the best way to improve the quality of education is increase teacher's salaries. Different people hold different opinions on this topic because of their distinct backgrounds. Some people disagree that the best way to improve the quality of educations is increase teachers' salaries due to various reasons. (感觉这句话没有说完，人们的背景不同，导致意见不同，有些人不同意，为什么不同意？我同意，我的原因如下) In contrast, I prefer the view that the best way to improve the quality of education is increase teachers' salaries. My view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions.

First, there is no denying that the quality of education depends on teacher's teaching method and teaching measure. Improving these skills is~~are~~ the process about learning from books or advanced programs. How many times we heard words like this: ‘The more books we read, the more learned we become’. Of course , increasing (动词不能做主语)teacher's salaries can let them earn more money. That means they can spend more money on those relevant books and advance programs. Like my teacher Mr. Li who is the best English teacher that I have ever had. She spends more time and efforts on improving her teaching skill. So she need more money for books and programs, even some abroad advanced programs which is undoubtedly useful to improve her quality of education.

Second, on no account can we ignore the value of high salary. Because the high salary can support the high quality of teacher's living, like changing the house condition and transport condition for their families, even they can afford to tourism with their families. Absolutely, teachers who earn more money to change the life quality of their families can win the support of their families on their jobs. Meanwhile, the teachers who are full of enthusiasm are more likely to improve teachers' quality of education.

Finally, there is no doubt that our educational system leaves something to be desired. But nothing is more important than to receiving education. If we do not increasing (两个动词)the teachers' salaries on in order to improve the quality of education. They will have no zeal on their job. And they will just drift along aimlessly, they have no incentive to improve their quality of education because their ~~small~~low salaries. That will be worst for students. Because there is no denying that the high quality of education has a great influence on student's learning, studying and growing. So it is conceivable that the high salary plays an important role in teacher's life, and we should bring home to teachers the value of working hard on improving high education quality.

From all ~~the~~ above we have discussed, we can safely draw the conclusion that in order to the healthy growth of the younger generation and the prosperity of country. We should let teachers get more power and zeal on their teaching quality. So I reinforce my standpoint ~~to choose~~ that the best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries.

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-8-31 05:41
8/30 TPO4

The reading passage states the issue that dinosaurs are endotherms,and puts forward three arguments to prove this idea. However, the professor who is from the listening passage argues that this ideal is skeptical. To illustrate his opinion, he presents three sound reasons for these three arguments.

In the first place, the reading passage thinks the polar dinosaurs should be the endotherms because of their fossils has been found in the polar regions where adapt the endotherm to living. But according to the listening passage, the professor thinks the polar regions in a period when dinosaurs live are very warmer than today's polar regions. So the climate is good for dinosaurs to live. Even the weather become cold in the winner, they still can move to the other warm area.

And secondly, the reading passage states that because all the endotherms' legs are underneath their bodies to use on running and walking,so the dinosaurs which have the legs which use to run and walk under the bodies are the endotherms be sure. The professor argues that it cannot be true. He offers the fact that from the body structure principle----as the dinosaurs' legs has the most important use is to support more weight for their bodies, so they can grow a very large size.

Finally, the reading passage assert that the dinosaurs should be the endotherms because of the Haversian canals which can support the body to grow rapidly, and this function just is the important manifestation of the endotherms. the professor opposes this assertion that the dinosaurs do have the Haversian canals,but dinosaurs' growing rhythm is totally different with the endotherms which always keep growing at an even speed during the whole years by their constant body temperature. The dinosaurs' growing paces fluctuates because of their unstable body temperature,like sometimes grow fast and sometimes grow slow,even sometimes stop growing.

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-8-31 19:16
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The reading passage states the issue that dinosaurs are endotherms, and puts forward three arguments to prove this idea. However, the professor who is from the listening passage（这个是不很必要的重复，不要也好）argues that this ideal is skeptical. To illustrate his opinion, he presents three sound reasons for these three arguments （according to the reading text.）.

In the first place, the reading passage thinks(这个？) the polar dinosaurs should be the endotherms because of their fossils has been found in the polar regions where adapt the endotherm to（adapt这样用的我见的少额） living. But according to the listening passage, the professor thinks the polar regions in a period when dinosaurs live（once lived were这里应该用过去式的） are very warmer than today's polar regions. So the climate is good for dinosaurs to live. Even the weather become cold in the winner, they still can move to the other warm area.

And secondly, the reading passage states that because all the endotherms' legs are underneath their bodies to use on running and walking, so the dinosaurs which have the legs which use to run and walk under the bodies are the endotherms be sure. The professor argues that it cannot be true. He offers the fact that from the body structure principle----as the dinosaurs' legs has the most important use is to support more weight for their bodies, so they can grow （to）a very large size.

Finally, the reading passage assert that the dinosaurs should be the（不必要额） endotherms because of the Haversian canals which can support the body to grow rapidly, and this function just is the important manifestation of the endotherms. tT（大写）he professor opposes this assertion that the dinosaurs do have the Haversian canals, but dinosaurs' growing rhythm is totally different with the endotherms which always keep growing at an even speed during the whole years by their constant body temperature. The dinosaurs' growing paces fluctuates because of their unstable body temperature,like sometimes grow fast and sometimes grow slow,even sometimes stop growing.

听力的小词注意就好了我的什么大作啊，是写的次数多，习惯了

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-9-1 03:40
Do you agree or disagree,people who go out from their villege will be more successful and happier than people who stay in their village?
As the modern society develops, there is a debate over whether people who go out from their village will be more successful and happier than people who stay in their village.Different people hold different opinions on this topic because their distinct backgrounds. Some people think that stay in their village will get more successes and happy lives. In contrast, I prefer to disagree on this view. Myself view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions.

First, there is no doubt that having a good enterprise can make a important role in the whole life, it relates to the family, wealth and the life's value. Like my friends Tom,who was running a furniture company in his mother town-a small village wanted to develop his business career more powerfull, So he made a big decision---move his company to New York City which is the one of the most important international city of the world. He thinks he can know and hires many excellent peers because of living in this commercial metropolis,and he can share many resources and consult many topics in the furniture field from them. Through years of his painstaking effort, he's business is running more successful than before he did in the village.

Secondly, we will no deny that big city has lots of convenient conditions for human's living. My friends who are living in Shanghai which is the famous metropolis of China, we invariably live nearby and are always available for an informal chat, especially the evening's entertainment,such as the lastest films, exhibitions or some new restaurants,even some super deals on the vogue products. In the recent case concerned about my best friend Rose who likes to use brand name products,like Channel, LV,Tiffany. In the Thanksgiving Day of this year, she got a big news about the certain outlet store for big brand would hold a super deal event. She was so exciting and enjoying. Not only is the shopping convenient,but also the public transport, such as metro is convenient. Metro which is the typical product of the metropolis always make people's work and life efficiently---the one of the most important reasons of people feel they can get more successful and happier out of the village.

From all the above I have discussed, I can safely draw the conclusion that in order to pursuing the ideal life and work, we should choose a sound environment, therefore, it will be advisable for people to get more successful and happier out of the village.

作者: pedrohuo 时间: 2012-9-1 07:56
红色为错误，蓝色为修改建议，绿色为段后总结，高亮为精彩！

As the modern society develops, there is a debate over whether people who go out from their village will be more successful and happier than people who stay in their village. Different people hold different opinions on this topic because their distinct backgrounds. Some people think that stay(staying) in their village will get more successes and happy lives. In contrast, I prefer to disagree on this view. Myself(My) view can be greatly substantiated by following discussions.

First, there is no doubt that having a good enterprise can make a(an) important role in the whole life, it relates to the family, wealth and the life's value. Like my friends Tom, who was running a furniture company in his mother(‘s) town-a small village wanted to develop his business career more powerfull(powerful), So he made a big decision---move his company to New York City which is the one of the most important international city(cities) of the world(也可worldwide). He thinks he can know and hires many excellent peers because of living in this commercial metropolis, and he can(也可is able to。否则CAN太多了) share many resources and consult many topics in the furniture field from them. Through years of his painstaking effort, he's(his) business is running more successful than before(去掉) he did in the village.

Secondly, we will no deny(we will no deny这种表述不好。很少见。还有最好不要总用将来时。我以前也特别喜欢用将来时，后来发现只有中国人有这种说话习惯。哈哈。这句可以换成Common sense informs us that…详见无老师作文。少用人做主语。) that big city has lots of convenient conditions for human's living. My friends who are living in Shanghai which is the famous metropolis of China（同时出现两个定语从句，略微啰嗦）, we（这个语法错误吧。前面的My friends是主语。这里又出现了We做主语） invariably live nearby and are always available for an informal chat, especially the evening's entertainment, such as the lastest(latest) films, exhibitions or some new restaurants, even some super deals on the vogue products. In the recent case(没有主语) concerned about my best friend Rose who likes to use brand name products, like Channel, LV, Tiffany. In the Thanksgiving Day(On Thanksgiving Day) of this year, she got a big news about the certain outlet store for big brand would hold a super deal event. She was so exciting(excited) and enjoying(enjoyable?). Not only is the shopping convenient, but also the public transport(transportation), such as metro is convenient(句子里出现3个convenient。感觉不是很合适。翻译成中文都感觉不是很书面化). Metro which is the typical product of the metropolis always make people's work and life efficiently---the one of the most important reasons of people feel they can get more successful and happier out of the village.

From all the above I have discussed, I can safely draw the conclusion that in order to pursuing the ideal life and work, we should choose a sound environment, therefore, it will be advisable for people to get more successful(这里不应该是形容词) and happier out of the village.

(实话实说啊。姐姐别郁闷。托福就是一个受挫的过程。感觉文中好多的表述感觉不是很地道。中式英语比较多。语法错误比较多。推荐读读老美185. CD上有下载的。辛苦了)
PS: 还有我感觉每个人的每一篇文章都是有提升的地方。如果仅仅简单的怕对方难过。就不指出来。是不负责任的互改。

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-9-4 05:42
9/2 不好意思，这次交晚了，TPO6综合
The reading passage states the issue that communal online encyclopedias make much less valuable than traditional printed encyclopedias. However, the professor who is from the listening passage argue that this idea is skeptical. To illustrate her opinion, she presents three sound reasons for there three arguments.

In the first place, the reading passage thinks traditional printed encyclopedias are more authority by trained experts than communal online encyclopedias.In contrast,according to the listening passage, the professor thinks the wrong informations of encyclopedias online can easy to be corrected timely,but for printed encyclopedias,the errors will remain for long years before the publishing of revised version.

And secondly, the reading passage states that the entry in the online encyclopedia is unsafe because of hackers' invading and unscrupulous users.The professor argue that it cannot be true. She offers the fact that the online encyclopedias are applying a safeguard measure,such as the read-only format and the special editors who can monitor all changes made to the articles.

Finally, the reading passage assert that the the online encyclopedias' contents are in too great a depth and the focus are very frequently, so make the users disorientation on the demands that they really need. The professor opposes this assertion that this unfolding way of abundant and multiple informations are the right charm of communal online encyclopedia nowadays, because there have a great range of interests that users really have, so each takes by his judgment what he needs freely.

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-10-11 03:16
TPO20

The reading passage states the issue that the “let it burn”policy should to be replaced with a policy of extinguishing forest fires as soon as they appeared and put forward three arguments to prove this idea. However, the professor who is from the listening passage is not in agreement with what stated in the reading passage.To illustrate her opinion,she presents three sound reasons for these three arguments.
First of all,the professor claims that fires are natural part of ecological cycle and they are good opportunities for some certain plants and seeds to find their ways on the particular growing conditions and environments,such as open and shaded spaces where the trees have been destroyed by the fire, and the very high levels of heat in the soils after the fire.In contrast,the reading passage points out that the forest fire destroys the trees and other vegetation,and make the original forest look like a wasteland.So the lecture totally disagrees with the view made in the reading passage.
Second, the professor assert that the fire also created new opportunities for the animals which live in the forest. For example, some certain small animals start thriving,like rabbits and hares which get the ideal habitat---the small plants that replaced trees after the fire,and then these small animals also become their predators’s foods. These form wonderful food chains and become stronger after the fire than before,contradicting what is stated in the reading that the forest fire threatens the wildlife,even destructs the wildlife’s habitats and disrupts food chains.
Finally,the professor illustrate that the development of tourism will not be influenced by the fire.For instance,1988 Yellowstone fire which caused by several unusual combinations of factors that year, and then there has not seen such a fire since 1988.Visitors came back to the park next year and each year after that. In contrast, the reading passage presents that the forest fire makes the Yellowstone Park a barren land and there has nothing to worth visiting---not to mention that the local businesses which depends on park visitors.
In conclusion, the point made in the lecture contracts with what is presented in the reading material.

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-10-17 03:23
10/17 TPO3 writing

The reading passage explores the issue of whether one painting is pained by Rembrandt or not. The professor’s lecture deals with the same issue. However, she thinks that the painting attribute to Rembrandt. which contradicts what the reading states. And in the lecture, she uses three specific points to support her idea.
First, even though the reading passage suggests that the elder wowan in the portrait dresses inconsistent,because of the cheap cap and luxurious fur collar. the professor argues in the lecture that the fur collar is not the part of the original painting.This is because the fur collar was painted on the original painting by someone for making the painting seems like the formal portrait of an aristocratic lady , which mean to increase the value of the painting.Obviously, the professor’s argument disproves its counterpart in the reading.
Moreover, despite the statement in the reading that the light on the face of the portrait is not fit together with the dark fur collar which can absorb the light but reflect the light to the face,so states that the painting don’t attribute to Rembrandt since he would never have made such an error,but the professor contends that the painting is a work by Rembrandt. Because she supports this point with the fact that the light on the face is from the reflect of the original collar which is covered by fur collar.
Finally, the professor asserts that Rembrandt never used the painting panel that made of several pieces of wood glued together, The professor proves that this claim is indefensible by pointing out that the glued panel is from the someone who glued it on the top and sides of the origianl painting for making the painting grander and valuer,and actually the original paining is painted on a single piece of wood panel which used the same wood panel on the other painting from the Rembrandt.
In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses in the reading passage and convincingly shows that the central argument in the reading, the main point of the painting is could not be a work by Rembrandt is incorrect.

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-10-18 00:54
10/18 TPO4

The reading passage explores the issue of dinosaurs are endotherms. The professor’s lecture deals with the same issue. However, she thinks that dinosaurs are not endotherms, which contradicts what the reading states. And in the lecture, she uses three specific points to support her idea.
First, even though the reading passage suggests that dinosaur’s fossils were found in polar regions where only the endotherms can active in such cold area , the professor argues in the lecture that dinosaurs were also available to live in the polar regions at that time. This is because when dinosaurs lived, the polar regions were warm enough to support reptiles to live. Even in the period of cold months, they still can choose either migrating to the warm area or hibernating there.Obviously, the professor’s argument disproves its counterpart in the reading.
Moreover, despite the statement in the reading that the position of dinosaur’s legs which underneath their bodies is the evidence that improve dinosaurs are endotherms,since the legs on this positons are better for running which is the endotherms’s primary characteristics. the professor contends that this idea can’t strongly improve that dinosaurs are endotherms. Then she supports this point with the fact that because of the large size of dinosaurs’s body and its rapidly growing, they have to get enough support power from their legs under the bodies.In other words, the mammals which have the legs under bodies are not necessarily endotherms.
　　　　 Finally, the professor arrests that the Haversian canals which the endotherms usually have were found in dinosaurs’s bodies can confirm the dinosaurs are endotherms. The professor proves that this claim is indefensible by pointing out that also the dinosaurs’s bodies surely have the Haversian canals which can prevent nerves and blood vessels to support the mammals to grow rapidly , but depend on the growth ring of dinosaurs,It seems their growth frequency which sometimes grow slowly,even stop in cold weather condition,and sometimes grow rapidly in warm weather condition is totally different with the endotherms’s which can grow even by keeping a constant body temperature year-around .
In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses in the reading passage and convincingly shows that the central argument in the reading,dinosaurs are endotherms is incorrect.

作者: AnthonySummer 时间: 2012-10-18 21:26
10/17 TPO3 writing

The reading passage explores the issue of whether one painting is(was)painted by Rembrandt or not. The professor's lecture deals with the same issue. However, she thinks that the painting attributes to Rembrandt. This contradicts with the reading states.（用which不能另起一句，否则就是疑问句）And the lecture, she uses three specific points to support her idea.

First, even though the reading passage suggests that the elder woman in the portrait dresses inconsistent, because of the cheap cap and luxurious fur collar. The professor argues in the lecture that the fur collar is not the part of the original painting. This is because the fur collar was painted on the original painting by someone for making the painting seems like the formal portrait of an aristocratic lady, which（太多which从句了）means to increase the value of the painting. Obviously, the professor's argument disproves its counterpart in the reading.

Moreover, despite the statement in the reading that the light on the face of the portrait is (was) not fit together with the dark fur collar which can absorb the light but reflect the light to the face, so states that the painting don't attribute to Rembrandt since he would never have made such an error, but the professor contends that the painting is（was） a work by Rembrandt. Because she supports this point with the fact that the light on the face is (was)from the reflection of the original collar which is covered by a fur collar.

Finally, the professor asserts that Rembrandt never used the painting panel that made of several pieces of wood glued together, The professor proves that this claim is indefensible by pointing out that the glued panel is from the someone who glued it on the top and sides of the original painting for making the painting grander and valuer,and actually the original paining is（was） painted on a single piece of wood panel which used the same wood panel on the other painting from the Rembrandt.

In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses in the reading passage and convincingly shows that the central argument in the reading, the main point of the painting is could not be a work by Rembrandt is incorrect.（逻辑错误）

画是几百年前画好的，用过去时。一般过去式表示从过去发生一直持续到现在。某些地方我也不确定请多多指教。

听力不错，很多细节都听到了。

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-10-18 22:44
10/19 TOP5 烦请狠批！

The reading passage explores the issue of how the Chaco houses were used,and states three theories to support this issue.The professor’s lecture deals with the same issue. However, he raises doubt about three theories from the reading passage . And in the lecture, he claims another three different points for three theories.
First, even though the reading passage suggests that Chaco great houses which each house can hold hundreds people are the perfect places to suitable live for such a large number of people, the professor argues in the lecture that it seems impossible. This is because the Chaco houses just have few fireplaces, which means the numbers of fireplaces can’t support such hundreds peoples who live together in Chaco houses. Obviously, the professor’s argument disproves its counterpart in the reading.
A second theory from the reading passage states that the Chaco houses were used for store main food-maize which can support people to live for a long time. But the professor contends that Chaco houses never used for store food.Then he supports this point with the fact that there has no any traces of maize or maize containers to be found.
Finally, the professor asserts that the huge mount which near Chaco houses is not the strongly evidence to support Chaco houses were used for ceremonies, it is exactly the opposite of the third theory from the reading passage. The professor proves that this claim is indefensible by pointing out that the huge mount was just formed by some kinds of trashes,such as constructs trashes from the Chaco building, the meal cooking and container trashes from the constructors. In other word, these trashes were not those special stuffs for ceremonies.
In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses in the reading passage about three theories,and convincingly shows that each of arguments in the reading is indefensible.

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-10-23 01:54
The reading passage explores the issue of disadvantages of communal online encyclopedias.The professor’s lecture deals with the same issue. However, she thinks that online encyclopedias have strong advantages , which contradicts what the reading states. And in the lecture, she uses three specific points to support her idea.
First of all, the reading passage claims that online encyclopedias are not more professional than traditional encyclopedias. In contrast, the professor points out that actually we can’t find the totally perfect encyclopedias,whatever they’re on line or off line,and raise the problem that the mistakes from the encyclopedias have to be corrected.On this point,obviously,online encyclopedias are easy to corrected by the contributors, but for the traditional printed encyclopedias,they’re really hard to be corrected immediately. So the lecture totally disagrees with the view made in the reading passage.

Second, the passage demonstrates that the crucial articles from the online encyclopedias will be destroyed by some sabotages,such as the motions from vandals,hackers. In the lecture, the professor admits that on the online encyclopedias,some effectively protection ways have been implementing.including read-only format setting , editor-monitoring.Obviously, the professor’s argument disproves its counterpart in the reading.
Finally, the passage raises the issue The professor opposes to the writer's expectation. She asserts that , content that explicitly(明确地) contradicts that passage.

10-22 TPO6
Finally, the professor asserts that diversity of information is the strongest advantage of online encyclopedias. whereas the author of the reading claims that the resources from communal online encyclopedias are disorderly and no focus. The professor proves that this claim is indefensible by pointing out that diversity of informations is satisfy different users for their different needs,because of the plenty space to store more data than traditional printer encyclopedias’.
In conclusion, the point made in the lecture contracts with what is presented in the reading material.

作者: 猫和鸭 时间: 2012-11-9 05:31
11/9 Spending money on traveling and vacation vs. Saving for future.

Some people prefer to spending their money on traveling，others believe that they have to save money for their future life，As far as I am concerned，I agree that people should to spend money on traveling and vacation.My arguments for this point are listed as follows. One of the primary causes is that traveling can form people’s disposition. Because going out for traveling can let you meet more new people and things that you never met before. So you can develop your social skill about how to communicate with the stranger and how to deal with the special issues. Like my roommate Rose who’s almost a kind of traveler.She spends whole of her short-term and long-term holiday on her traveling and vacation,as well as spends every penny on it.She said the traveling teach her lots of good skills for the futures job and life.like persistence in life and learn how to friendly easy of approach and faced the difficulty with courage which are the important skills in future life and job. So we can clearly see what spending money on traveling and vacation is worth!
What is more，I think people who like to traveling will more health than the people who has a sedentary life on his or her working and studying everyday. Not only for the physical health, but also for the thinking health,some travels like walking,hiking, even swimming are the very excellent exercise,meanwhile, these travel places where have the wonderful views and perfect air condition will also improve our physical drives and good moods.so from this reason,spending money on traveling and vacation will get great reward in the future.
Of course, I do not deny that saving money for the future has its own merits,but now days, for people who get the big pressure on their job and study have to spend time to take a break for their bodies and minds . Otherwise,though they are possessed of great wealth or get enough accomplishments,it will pale without the guarantee of health.
In summary, depending on those discussion above,I firmly support that people should spend money on the traveling and vacation.

欢迎光临 ChaseDream (https://forum.chasedream.com/)