ChaseDream

标题: 一战Fair. 每日作文贴，求拍。 [打印本页]

作者: 上善若水1018 时间: 2012-8-2 19:32
标题: 一战Fair. 每日作文贴，求拍。
0802作业：

综合：
The passage claims that the several findings in the T.rex's leg bone seem to be the remains of blood vessels, red blood cells and collagen matrix. However, the speaker in the lecture doesn't agree with the conclusion made by the passage.

First, the speaker points out that the finding of branching channels and soft substance are unnecessarily related to remains of blood vessels. It can be something else. It can be simply traces of moisture residues left by bacteria.

Second, the passage claims that the presence of spheres could be the remains of red blood cells. However, the speaker cites that those spheres are also found in fossils of other animals that does not have red blood cells. Thus the presence of spheres is not necessarily to demonstrate the existence of red blood cells. The speaker thus assumes that the spheres in the inner bone can be some other residue material.

Finally, the speaker casts doubt on the findings of collagen in the last paragraph of the passage. Collagen cannot last more than 1,000 years. It is very doubtful that how scientists can test the existence of collagen in a leg bone of more than 70 billion years ago. The speaker, therefore, presume the collagen may come from the skin of researcher, which contains collagen.

独立：
题目：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?It is often nota goodthing to move to a new city or a new country because of the lose of old friends.
习作：
We face changes and have to make choices in our daily life. If there is a chance for you to live in a new city or a new country, how will you evaluate this chance? Some people believe that it is often not good because of the worry of losing old friends. My view is that those people are overanxious and fail to realize the benefits from new place.

Indeed, it is a pity to lose old friends because you leave the city where your friends stay. In the old days, distance means losing connections.

eople are not able to hang out with their friends who are hundreds kilometers away.

eople even lose the chance to chat with their friends. The link of the friendship is cut by distance. Moreover, friendship is one of the most essential and valuable relationship in our lives. We cannot imagine our life without friends. Thus moving is really not a good idea to move at this aspect.

However, moving to a new city can bring much more benefits. A new city or new country may means better education, more job chances, better medical conditions and even new friends. I would like to use myself as a good example. To complete my university education, I moved to Shanghai from my hometown, which is more than one thousand kilometres far away from Shanghai. If I stayed in my home town, I would never get chance to go to university, because there is just simply no college or university in such a tiny town. I would not be able to get a chance to work with people all over the world such as Europe, America, Africa and Oceania. I cannot imagine what my life will look like if I never leave my hometown. The medical condition is also much better than that of my home town, because Shanghai has better quality medical devices, much more hospitals, more professional doctors and so on.

Additionally, in nowadays, thankful for the development of technology, moving to a new place does not necessarily means we will lose our old friends. We can use phone to call each other no matter where we are, as long as there is signal. We also have internet tools, such as MSN, Skype, Facebook, not only to talk with our friends, but also to share our daily life vividly. I am a very good example. I connected with all my old friends with QQ, a Chinese IM tool. We can chat and video to each other freely by internet. Moreover, by checking the status I posted, my friends who are 2000km away can even know what I had for breakfast. The distance does not weaken our friendship at all.

Losing friends is indeed very sad for everyone. However, we cannot simply omit the benefits - education, career, medicals, etc - brought by moving to new cities or countries. Moreover, today's technology makes us enjoy the benefits without losing old friends. Therefore, we cannot make the conclusion that it is not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country.

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-8-3 11:06
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

We face changes and have to make choices in our daily life. If there is a chance for you to live in a new city or a new country, how will you evaluate this chance? Some people believe that it is often not good because of the worry of losing old friends. My view is that those people are overanxious and fail to realize the benefits from new place（a new place or new places）.

Indeed, it is a pity to lose old friends because you leave the city where your friends stay. In the old days, distance means losing connections. People are not able to hang out with their friends who are hundreds kilometers away.(这句要用过去式吧？)

eople even lose the chance to chat with their friends (加个face to face，觉得好一点). The link of the friendship is cut by distance. Moreover, friendship is one of the most essential and valuable relationships in our lives. We cannot imagine our life without friends. Thus moving is really not a good idea to move at this aspect.

However, moving to a new city can bring much more benefits. A new city or new country may means better education, more job chances, better medical conditions and even new friends. I would like to use myself as a good example. To complete my university education, I moved to Shanghai from my hometown, which is more than one thousand kilometres far away from Shanghai（这个就是多余了哈）. If I stayed in my hometown, I would never get (the用冠词特指下) chance to go to （a）university, because there is just simply no college or university in such a tiny town. I would not be able to get a chance to work with people all over the world such as Europe, America, Africa and Oceania too（与上句连接一下了）. I cannot imagine what my life will look like if I never leave my hometown. The medical condition is also much better than that of my home town, because Shanghai has better quality medical devices, much more hospitals, more professional doctors and so on.

Additionally, in（去掉） nowadays, thankful for the development of technology, moving to a new place does not necessarily means we will lose our old friends. We can use phones to call each other no matter where we are, as long as there is signal （available）. We also have internet tools, such as MSN, Skype, Facebook, not only to talk with our friends, but also to share our daily life vividly. I am a very good example. I connected with all my old friends with QQ, a Chinese IM tool. We can chat and video to each other freely by internet. Moreover, by checking the status I posted, my friends who are 2000km away can even know what I had for breakfast. The distance does not weaken our friendship at all.

Losing friends is indeed very sad （thing） for everyone. However, we cannot simply omit the benefits - education, career, medicals, etc - brought by moving to new cities or countries. Moreover, today's technology makes us enjoy the benefits without losing old friends. Therefore, we cannot make the conclusion that it is not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country.

上善的作文很好啊。貌似我们都是小毛病。一起进步哈

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-8-3 11:57
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The passage claims that the several findings in the T.rex's leg bone seem to be the remains of blood vessels, red blood cells and collagen matrix. However, the speaker in the lecture doesn't agree with the conclusion made by the passage.

First, the speaker points out that the finding of branching channels and soft substance are unnecessarily related to remains of blood vessels. It can be something else. It can be simply traces of moisture residues left by bacteria.

Second, the passage claims that the presence of spheres could be the remains of red blood cells. However, the speaker cites that those spheres are also found in fossils of other animals that does not have red blood cells（这里是不是还要强调一下aniamls in the same place and they did not have red blood cells when they were alive）. Thus the presence of spheres is not necessarily to demonstrate the existence of red blood cells. The speaker thus assumes that the spheres in the inner bone can be some other residue material.

Finally, the speaker casts doubt on the findings of collagen in the last paragraph of the passage. Collagen cannot last more than 1,000 years. It is very doubtful that how scientists can test the existence of collagen in a leg bone of more than 70 billion years ago. The speaker, therefore, presume the collagen may come from the skin of researchers 或者是the researcher. , which contains collagen.

建议注意下冠词用法。其他就没什么了。细节更加注意些就好，听力的一些细节。

作者: 上善若水1018 时间: 2012-8-3 13:23

上善的作文很好啊。貌似我们都是小毛病。一起进步哈

-- by 会员 kchszy061ban (2012/8/3 11:06:10)

我最大的问题就是没题材。找不到足够的论点论据，唉。

作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-8-3 14:02

上善的作文很好啊。貌似我们都是小毛病。一起进步哈

-- by 会员 kchszy061ban (2012/8/3 11:06:10)

我最大的问题就是没题材。找不到足够的论点论据，唉。

-- by 会员上善若水1018 (2012/8/3 13:23:44)

其实论点什么的不要求全，只要自圆其说就好了。那么短的时间内不可能想到那么多。要不就一个论点分两方面说。然后再来个反面论述。比如一个从个人讲学生做作业靠自己，一个从父母角度讲靠自己。然后再来个反面论述，再加上例子就很足够500字了啊。

作者: 上善若水1018 时间: 2012-8-5 21:46
8月5日
综合
The passage claims that the several findings in the paintingportrait a woman's face suggest it could not be a work by Rembrandt. However,the speaker's attitude in the lecture is opposite to the conclusion made by thepassage.

First, the speaker doubts that the inconsistency referred inthe passage is a warranted proof. She points out that the fur collar was notcontained in Rembrandt's original painting and was actually added by someoneelse 100 years after the original painting was done. Thus we cannot draw theconclusion that the painting was not Rembrandt’ work.

Second, the passage claims that the light and show of thepainting do not fit each other, because the face should appear partially inshadow. However, the speaker arguesthat, in the original painting, the collar reflects the light to the face, thusthe face should have been how it appears now.

Finally, the speaker points out that the painting waspainted on a whole piece of wood. The painting was glued together by someoneelse later in order to sell the painting at a higher price. She also cites thefinding that the wood panels of the painting even came from the same tree asthat of other works by Recasts.

作者: 上善若水1018 时间: 2012-8-6 09:06
0805 独立
这个题目憋了我5、6个小时啊，算是作弊了
Nowadays, movies and television have become an inalienable part of our daily life. Our lifestyles, particularly which of young people, are affected by movies and television. And therefore, some people cast their worries: Will movies and television have more negative effects on young people's behaviour? In my point of view, movies and television play more positive than negative role in young people's behaviour, especially if under adult's correct conduction.

Indeed, young people's behaviour is affected negatively by some of today's movies and television, which are filled with violence. Young people tend to copy the behaviour of a “hero” in movies and television. However, most of them are not matured enough to tell the goodies and baddies. A recent survey indicates that majority of the young people's crimes are caused by those imitations to the “cool kills” presented by the roles. Therefore I admit that movies and television have really bad influences.

However, the imitation to the roles in a movie or TV show can also contribute positive effects to children. My nephew was once among the "bad" students who are always escaping from school. His teachers and parents tried many methods to create his interest in study, but all ended with no success. However, since the comedy series, The Big Bang Theory, broadcasted on TV, my nephew suddenly behaved like someone else. Due to his worship to Sheldon, a role in The Big Bang Theory, my nephew built a great interest in physics. He studies physics both in school and his spare time. He even designed and led several successful physical experiments and became one of the top students in his class. In this case, we can see how television can affect a children's behaviour in positive way.

Moreover, parents play a more important role to decide which way, positive or negative, that movies and televisions will affect children. Parents can watch movies and televisions with their children together, sharing their views on the content and letting children know why the roles in the movies and television behave in a certain way. Such kind communication can enhance children to accept a positive concept in a much easier way. Therefore, movies and televisions do help children build right value of the world and behaviour.

In conclusion, a coin has two sides. Movies and television indeed have some bad influences on young people. However, positive influences plays greater role than negative influences, especially if adults can conduct their children in a proper way.

作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-6 09:45
不太会改,请见谅. 综合主要是练听力和转述能力
The passage claims that the several findings in the painting portrait a woman's face suggest it could not be a work by Rembrandt. However, the speaker's attitude in the lecture is opposite to the conclusion made by the passage.

First, the speaker doubts that the inconsistency referred in the passage is a warranted proof. She points out that the fur collar was not contained in Rembrandt's original painting and was actually added by someone else 100 years after the original painting was done. Thus we cannot draw the conclusion that the painting was not Rembrandt’ work.

Second, the passage claims that the light and show of the painting do not fit each other, because the face should appear partially in shadow. However, the speaker argues that, in the original painting, the collar reflects the light to the face, thus the face should have been how it appears now. (这一段我也没有听太清楚，好像说的是伦布朗是用光的大师，可是这幅画上的光线呀，没有显示出这是伦布朗的水平。然后老师说original 是一幅非常简单的画，采光很简单，很现实。所以是他自己的画)

Finally, the speaker points out that the painting was painted on a whole piece of wood. The painting was glued together by someone else later in order to sell the painting at a higher price (这个好像没有提到吧, 说是Enlarged it and make it grander than original 最好不要改变意思，综合不需要意见及引申观点). She also cites the finding that the wood panels of the painting even came from the same tree as that of other famous work by ~~Recasts~~Rembrandt, which is a self-portrait, with a hat.

作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-6 11:19
Nowadays, movies and television have become an inalienable part of our daily life(lives). Our lifestyles, particularly which of young people, are affected by movies and television. And therefore, some people cast their worries: Will movies and television have more negative effects on young people's behaviour? In my point of view, movies and television play more positive than negative role in young people's behaviour(behavior), especially if under adult's correct conduction.

Indeed, young people's behaviour is affected negatively by some of today's movies and television, which are filled with violence. Young people tend to copy the behaviour of a “hero” in movies and television. However, most of them are not matured enough to tell the goodies and baddies. A recent survey indicates that majority of the young people's crimes are caused by those(those指代什么?去掉比较通顺) imitations to the “cool kills” presented by the roles. Therefore I admit that movies and television have really bad influences.

However, the imitation to the roles in a movie or TV show can also contribute positive effects to children. My nephew was once among the "bad" students(你可以直接说是bad students 可能会更好) who are always escaping from school. His teachers and parents tried many methods to create his interest in study, but all ended with no success. However, since the comedy series, The Big Bang Theory, broadcasted on TV, my nephew suddenly behaved like someone else. Due to his worship to Sheldon, a role in The Big Bang Theory, my nephew built a great interest in physics. He studies(studied) physics both in school and his spare time. He even designed and led several successful physical experiments and became one of the top students in his class. In this case, we can see how television can affect a children's behaviour in positive way. (楼主的例子很不错啊!)

Moreover, parents play a more important role to decide which way, positive or negative, that movies and televisions will affect (on) children. Parents can watch movies and televisions with their children together, sharing their views on the content and letting children know why the roles in the movies and television behave in a certain way. Such kind communication can enhance children to accept a positive concept in a much easier way. Therefore, movies and televisions do help children build right value of the world and behaviour.

In conclusion, a coin has two sides(这句话不能用,老外会很鄙视的...). Movies and television indeed have some bad influences on young people. However, positive influences plays(play) greater role than negative influences, especially if adults can conduct their children in a proper way.

首先真的很抱歉那么晚给你批,因为昨天家里的无线出了点问题,破电脑一直收不到~

楼主的作文写的不错,例子很贴切.
不过句式,词汇有点贫乏,要多注意一下.加油!

作者: 上善若水1018 时间: 2012-8-6 11:40

Nowadays, movies and television have become an inalienable part of our daily life(lives). Our lifestyles, particularly which of young people, are affected by movies and television. And therefore, some people cast their worries: Will movies and television have more negative effects on young people's behaviour? In my point of view, movies and television play more positive than negative role in young people's behaviour(behavior), especially if under adult's correct conduction.

In conclusion, a coin has two sides(这句话不能用,老外会很鄙视的...). Movies and television indeed have some bad influences on young people. However, positive influences plays(play) greater role than negative influences, especially if adults can conduct their children in a proper way.

首先真的很抱歉那么晚给你批,因为昨天家里的无线出了点问题,破电脑一直收不到~

楼主的作文写的不错,例子很贴切.
不过句式,词汇有点贫乏,要多注意一下.加油!

-- by 会员 Vance1991 (2012/8/6 11:19:46)

为什么a coin has two sides会被鄙视啊...

我这个例子是看到有人写阿甘，体会到了人生道理神马神马的，那些单词我都不认识不会写。灵机一动，找了个流行肥皂剧，哈哈。

作者: 上善若水1018 时间: 2012-8-10 17:16
0809独立实在是写的没感觉

All of us involve in social life every day. We have to manage the relationship with new people come into our lives, such as new colleague, classmate, roommate and so on. Then how can we know his/her characteristics? Someone suggests that you can know a person though the types of friends this person has. As far as I am concerned, I would stand for the claim and my reasons are as following.

People tend to make friends with someone who has a same interest, common belief or similar education background. For instance, if you have a chance to meet my friends, you will find they are equipped with cameras, camping tools, talking the different cultures and nature views all over the world. Then herewith the question, what kind of person do you think I am? Bingo! A person who loves travelling around the world and may also be an amateur of photographer. When people hang out with their friends, there are so many common topics for them to chat: the movie starts, society news, tasty foods, interesting TV shows. Thus, in this aspect, you can know a person from the common characters with his/her friends.

Some people may argue that, friends do not necessarily have common characteristics. A person’s friend can be quite different from, even opposite to, this person. It is indeed true. An indoor person probably will have a very good friendship with outdoor person; someone who is easy-going may have a group of difficult friends. However, it does not mean the types of friends cannot reflect the character of this person. In contract, the differences between someone and his/her friends can even reveal something more deeply about this person, because we also make friends with people who have complementary advantages when we lack such characters.

In conclusion, common characteristics between someone and his/her friends can tell this person’s interests, belief or other background. Even the differences can reveal the eagerness in one’s intimate thoughts. That’s why I agree that we can know a person well through his/her friends.

作者: 上善若水1018 时间: 2012-8-10 18:06
TOP 7 综合（不好意思交的太晚了，辛苦改作文的同学了）
The reading passage claims that it is unlikely that woodcompanies in the United States will obtain ecocertification. The speaker in thelecture holds an opposite view with the passage and lists several reasons asfollows.

First, the passage concludes that American consumers wouldnot pay attention to the ecocertification label because they have no trust inadvertisements. However, the speakerclaims consumers do not treat advertising claims in the same way. Consumers can distinguish the advertisementfrom an independent organization. They actually have a favourable trust in advertisementsoffered by independent ecologically companies.

Second, the speaker disagree with that consumers are totallyprice driven. People indeed care price, but only when the price is much higher.The difference among prices would not affect consuming activities when it isless than 5%, which, in this case, is the cost to obtain the ecocertification. In contrast, such certification even convincesconsumers to add environment value on the wood products.

Third, the speaker points out that American companies shouldworry more about the competitions from foreign companies, rather than foreignmarkets referred in the passage. If American companies act slowly on gettingecocertification, international competitors who have already had suchcertificates will crowd into American market.

作者: linwa小默 时间: 2012-8-10 18:58
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

All of us involve(改成被动) in social life every day. We have to manage the relationship with new people come into our lives, such as new colleague, classmate, roommate and so on. Then how can we know his/her characteristics? Someone suggests that you can know a person though(through) the types of friends this person has. As far as I am concerned, I would stand for the claim and my reasons are as following.

People tend to make friends with someone who has a same interest, common belief or similar education background. For instance, if you have a chance to meet my friends, you will find they are equipped with cameras, camping tools, talking the different cultures and nature views all over the world. Then herewith the question, what kind of person do you think I am? Bingo! A person who loves travelling around the world and may also be(是不是直接用maybe读起来好像顺点) an amateur of(删) photographer. When people hang out with their friends, there are so many common topics for them to chat: the movie starts, society news, tasty foods, interesting TV shows. Thus, in this aspect, you can know a person from the common characters with his/her friends.果然如大家所说例子很好啊~而且行为很流畅，自愧不如啊。

Some people may argue that, friends do not necessarily have common characteristics. A person’s friend can be quite different from, (or) even opposite to, this person. It is indeed true. An indoor person probably will have a very good friendship with (an) outdoor person; someone who is easy-going may have a group of difficult(different) friends. However, it does not mean the types of friends cannot reflect the character of this person. In contract(contrast), the differences between someone and his/her friends can even reveal something more deeply about this person, because we also make friends with people who have complementary advantages when we lack such characters(traits可以换一个用用哈).

In conclusion, common characteristics between someone and his/her friends can tell this person’s interests, belief or other background. Even the differences can reveal the eagerness in one’s intimate thoughts(这个有点读不懂). That’s why I agree that we can know a person well through his/her friends.

个人意见哦，理由其实两段都是在说可以从朋友身上看出一个人的characteristics, 所以要是能再加一点其他的理由就更好了~
不过楼主的行文真的很棒，读下来很流畅, 让人感觉很舒服。例子也很好！值得学习！

作者: lemonyhu 时间: 2012-8-10 19:09
The reading passage claims that it is unlikely that woodcompanies in the United States will obtain ecocertification. The speaker in thelecture holds an opposite view with the passage and lists several reasons asfollows.

First, the passage concludes that American consumers wouldnot pay attention to the ecocertification label because they have no trust inadvertisements. However, the speakerclaims（+that，另外这句话里两个claim看着有点重复，能换一个更好） consumers do not treat advertising claims in the same way. Consumers can distinguish the advertisementfrom an independent organization. （比如这句话就可以说出来他们可以区分出来independent organization和一般的advertisement的区别，这样句子就能更复杂些，也更清楚）They actually have a favorable trust in（have trust in..不太常用呢） advertisementsoffered by independent ecologically companies.

Second, the speaker disagrees with that consumers are totallyprice driven. People indeed care price, but only when the price is much higher.The difference among prices would not affect consuming activities when it isless than 5%, which, in this case, is the cost to obtain the ecocertification. In contrast, such certification even convincesconsumers to add environmental value on the wood products.

Third, the speaker points out that American companies shouldworry more about the competitions from foreign companies, rather than foreignmarkets referred in the passage. If American companies act slowly on gettingecocertification, international competitors who have already had suchcertificates will crowd into American market.

1、文中很多空格没打，平时也要注意哦~~~或者是LZ的软件的问题？一些语态上的小错误要仔细~

2、整体看来字数有些不足啊，记得要求是220字的~~~~怎么也要写到200+才行吧~

3、另外句首的过渡词不用一定要first second这种，当然用也可以~我觉得只用这些显得很单调~比如In the first place啊这类的可能更好些，还能凑凑次数

4、总体来说文章很流畅，就是句式什么的稍微多样一点，再稍微润饰润饰就没问题了，听力听的也比较全了~

作者: lemonyhu 时间: 2012-8-10 22:33
麻烦楼主帮我改一下作文啊==~~

作者: 上善若水1018 时间: 2012-8-13 22:26
0813 综合

The reading passage states that today’s reading of literature declined, and thus it caused unfortunate effects for the reading public. However, the speaker in the lecture refutes what the passage claims.

First, the passage draws the conclusion that the reading public is missing out on important benefits by reading less literature. It is not true. Despite of literature, people can spend their time on reading science essays, historic stories, political analysis and so on. Such books are quite creative and can also provide high quality benefit. They can also stimulate readers' intelligence.

Second, even reading public fails to spend their time on general reading, the speaker disagrees what inferred in the passage that trivial forms lowered the level of culture. If the public is enjoying a brilliant song or movie, does it lower the culture standards? The answer is no. Today's culture has changed. Music and movies can show culture more directly to people.

Third, the passage claims that it is the poor standards of today's readers that fail to support talented writers. The speaker contradicts to the conclusion of the passage either. The speaker points out that we should not blame the reader but the author instead. Today's author always writes something that is difficult to understand. They write something that even writers in the old days would not write.

作者: 上善若水1018 时间: 2012-8-13 23:37
0813 独立

know about the events happening around the world that do not affect our life.

There is a debate on whether or not our life will be affected by knowing about the events happening around the world. Some people argue that the events happening around the world has nothing to do with our daily life, thus there is no need for us to know what is happening around the world. As far as I am concerned, I would strongly disagree and my reasons are as follows.

To begin with, knowing events can bring common topics to friends, family and workmates and thus reinforce the relationship. What were your friends/family/colleagues talking about mostly during the past few days? I believe the answer is the Olympic Games held in London. Imagine when you hang out with your friends in those days but one of your friends knew nothing about the Olympic Games, what do you think he/she is? A nerd lives in his/her own world! News of movies stars, political leaders and sports stars are the main source of office gossips. If we do not know what is happening around the world, we lose the common topics with our friend and the link of friendship is weakened. In this aspect, we see how our daily relationships are affected by knowing world events.

In addition, catching up with the most up-to-dated information in world can help us keep competitive. High school students choose their major by obtaining the latest news on what kind of career is the most popular; technology information company can set up development strategy by finding out what is the leading company doing; Scientists can decide their studying directions by learning the latest findings or researches around the world. Therefore, the world enlightens our future development.

Finally, knowing what is happening around the world is so important that it can even bring fortune to us.

eople can make their investment decision by obtaining the latest economic news. If you read the news of Lehman Brothers’s bankrupt in 2008, you would know that a financial crisis was coming and sold all your stock if you had any. A friend of mine learned from a public speech that urbanization process of China is fast and thus made the decision to purchase a house. His fortune at least tripped during the past 5 years! How can anyone argue that events happening around the world have no impact on our life!

As discussed above, knowing what is happening around the world can bring common topics among our friends, make us to be competitive in social life and even bring fortune to us. Therefore, the world events are involved in our life heavily.

作者: margrate 时间: 2012-8-14 12:02
标题: 0813独立
高亮黄色不错高亮绿色有点问题蓝色字体建议

know about the events happening around the world that do not affect our life.

There is a debate on whether or not our life will be affected by knowing about the events happening around the world. Some people argue that the events happening around the world has nothing to do with our daily life, thus there is no need for us to know what is happening around the world. As far as I am concerned, I would strongly disagree and my reasons are as follows.

thus 是一个副词，而不是连词，不能当作连词使用在两个句子之间；

e.g

Agriculture has developedrapidly, thusprovidinglight industrywithampleraw materials

To begin with, knowing events can bring common topics to friends, family and workmates and thus reinforce the relationship. What were your friends/family/colleagues talking about mostly during the past few days? I believe the answer is the Olympic Games held in London. Imagine when you hang out with your friends in those days but one of your friends knew nothing about the Olympic Games, what do you think he/she is? A nerd lives in his/her own world! News of movies stars, political leaders and sports stars are the main source of office gossips. If we do not know what is happening around the world, we lose the common topics with our friend and the link of friendship is weakened. In this aspect, we see how our daily relationships are affected by knowing world events.

thusàthen (adv/conj)，这样也可以和前面的and分割开来
貌似不太怎么用定语从句/从句

In addition, catching up with the most up-to-dated information in world can help us keep competitive. High school students choose their major by obtaining the latest news on what kind of career is the most popular; technology information company can set up development strategy by finding out what is the leading company doing; Scientists can decide their studying directions by learning the latest findings or researches around the world. Therefore, the world enlightens our future development.

help sb. To do

whatàwhich

这里的分号是表示列举么？如果是列举，在最后一项之前要加and；按照我的理解，应该是在列举吧，建议第一句也加上助动词can，尽量让三个结构平行；

Finally, knowing what is happening around the world is so important that it can even bring fortune to us.

作者: 浅吟天 时间: 2012-8-14 16:53
黄色模版加好的，绿色批注红色我改的

0813 综合

The reading passage states that today’s reading （一般没有所有格在加of的用法,有点奇怪，可改成reading of literature has declined nowadays）of literature declined, and thus it caused unfortunate effects for the reading public. However, the speaker in the lecture refutes what the passage claims.(开头好！)

First, the passage draws the conclusion that the reading public is missing out on important benefits by reading less literature. It is not true. Despite of literature, people can spend their time on reading science essays, historic stories, political analysis and so on.（抓得很细啊） Such books are quite creative and can also provide high quality benefit. They can also stimulate readers' intelligence.

Second, even reading public fails to spend their time on general reading, the speaker disagrees what inferred in the passage that trivial forms lowered the level of culture（这句话有点绕，还有disagree 后面一般on sth/with sb/ that,后面那个从句能简练点吗）. If the public is enjoying a brilliant song or （少了个定冠词把？）movie, does it lower the culture standards? The answer is no. Today's culture has changed. Music and movies can show culture more directly to people.

Third, the passage claims that it is the poor standards of today's readers that fail to support talented writers. The speaker contradicts to the conclusion of the passage either. The speaker points out that we should not blame （for）the reader but the author instead. Today's author always writes something that is difficult to understand. They write something that even writers(readers) in the old days would not write（read,就这一个句子，不然就完美了。。）.

综上，lz听的很细很好，点都抓到了
有些句子还可再精炼一点。真的挑不出没什么问题

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