ChaseDream

标题: K开始写作鸟~ [打印本页]

作者: kaddish    时间: 2012-7-25 21:13
标题: K开始写作鸟~
7.25独立 综合占座~~~
作者: kaddish    时间: 2012-7-27 22:30
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should know the events happening around the world, even if it unlikely has some influence on your daily life.
Along with the widely application of advanced science and technology in news media industry, we are exposed to plenty information from the world every day. Some people contend that knowing what happen around the world is not necessary for the reason that it does not have impact on our daily life. Nevertheless, as I see it, sooner or later, it will bring us benefits if we have the consciousness to get to know the news every day.
To begin with, as relationship among countries becomes more closely than any other period in the history, and this calls people for a more global insight. A typical example is the widespread of global warming .People who live in the coastland region have been effected first ,while in other places the destroying impact may not be such serious as native citizens are easily to ignore this problem. But from a authoritative science survey, in the next decade, the increasingly rising sea level caused by green gas will submerge more cities and a worldwide cooperation is in badly need. In other words ,it’s time for people in any country to fight for their benefits ,otherwise ,they will suffer the horrible consequences sooner or later.This illustration tells us that future developments relies on global realization and effort.
Moreover, learning news of various countries is a process of enriching knowledge, which may not have direct influence on your daily life ,but in the future it is of great benefit for life and career. For instance,my classmate Jack, is proficient in several subjects varying from biology ,art to sports because he read any section in the newspaper .Thus ,he can easily enlarge his social network from his wild range of knowledge since people all want to make friends with intelligent person.Also after gradation ,his versatility on information helps him get popular in the company as he can handle different types of problems. In a word, abundant knowledge is helpful not only in study but also in work
Admittedly, some of the information we received may be misleading or useless. And due to the large quantity of news, we may have to spend much time on them. However, considerable though the disadvantages of knowing what happen in the world may brings about; they cannot compete with the great merits of it.
To sum up, I agree that people should know news happening around the world since it will bring us benefits if we have the consciousness to get to know the news every day.
作者: guoyang88    时间: 2012-7-28 23:29
7.27 改
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should know the events happening around the world, even if it unlikely has some influence on your daily life.
Along with the widely application of advanced science and technology in news media industry, we are exposed to plenty information from the world every day. Some people contend that knowing what happen around the world is not necessary for the reason that it does not have impact on our daily life. Nevertheless, as I see it, sooner or later, it will bring us benefits if we have the consciousness to get to know the news every day.
To begin with, as relationship among countries becomes more closely than any other period in the history, and this calls people for a more global insight. A typical example is the widespread of global warming .People who live in the coastland region have been [will be ]effected first ,while in other places the destroying impact may not be such serious as native citizens are easily to ignore this problem. But from a authoritative science survey, in the next decade, the increasingly rising sea level caused by green gas【greenhouse gases 温室气体】 will submerge more cities and a worldwide cooperation is in badly need. In other words ,it’s time for people in any country to fight for their benefits ,otherwise ,they will suffer [ suffer from] the horrible consequences sooner or later.This illustration tells us that future developments relies on global realization and effort.
Moreover, learning news of various countries is a process of enriching knowledge, which may not have direct influence on your daily life ,but in the future it is of great benefit for life and career. For instance,my classmate Jack, is proficient in several subjects varying from biology ,art to sports because he read any section 【usually read every page】 in the newspaper .Thus ,he can easily enlarge his social network from his wild range of knowledge since people all want to make friends with intelligent [knowledgeable] person.Also after gradation ,his versatility on information helps him get popular in the company as he can handle different types of problems. In a word, abundant knowledge is helpful not only in study but also in work
Admittedly, some of the information we received may be misleading or useless. And due to the large quantity of news, we may have to spend much time on them. However, considerable though the disadvantages of knowing what happen [what happened] in the world may brings about; they cannot compete with the great merits of it.
To sum up, I agree that people should know news happening around the world since it will bring us benefits if we have the consciousness to get to know the news every day.


例子用的挺好。 感觉首尾段可以再优化下。 尤其 we have the consciousness to get to know the news every day.
总觉得有些生硬~
作者: 易雨水巷    时间: 2012-8-2 13:35
sorry  今日锁事缠身 晚点改综合哈 改完就贴这里了^_^
作者: kaddish    时间: 2012-8-2 16:11
There are various means of communication ,and it is hard to decide which way is better for discussing controversial problems with others ,by sending text message like e-mails ,or through voice message .As for me ,the former one is a more efficient and convenient way for three reasons.
To begin with, people tend to rely on visual information since it is more vivid and direct, while voice message sometimes involve personal emotions and can not reflect the reality .Have you ever feel that we are easy to tell lies on the line or exaggerate some incidents unconsciously?That’s because invisible environment make both sides do not worry to be found telling lies. However, text message can be saved on computer for later reference if we need to check the decision –making process at any time, thus no one dare make mistakes and is carefully about each detail, which are essential for discussing complex projects.
Moreover, with the advancement of technology, e-mail is more multi-functional than before. In the past, we can only chat on words, and this may not clearly explain our ideas. But today ,sending pictures or a piece of voice message ,and even adding video clips can be realized in e-mails ,which is helpful to put through our thoughts thoroughly to others .For example ,as an engineer ,my brother will send his plan with specific design drawing to the boss, and the combination of words and picture contribute to a better understanding, thus it promotes deeper conversation.
At last, using text messaging is more convenient and more comfortable, comparing to making calls. As computer is widespread, people can send emails whenever and wherever they have an access to the Internet. We do not have to waste time on matching time schedule to make sure each side is available ,instead we can type down any inspirations-sometimes are the key point in dealing with upsetting issues - and share them with others even there exists time difference or distance.
To sum up, I will use text messaging for it bring about efficiency ,convenience ,and trust among individuals ,and these benefits are important for solving controversial problems.
作者: kaddish    时间: 2012-8-2 16:12
TPO23


The reading passage put forward three possible hypotheses for the decline of yellow cedar in northwestern America,but the professor suppose each explanation is inadequate.

To begin with,the passage contends that insect parasite,mainly the cedar bark beetle ,is resonsible for the tress's decline.In contrast ,the lecture do not agree with this point ,asserting that helthy yellow cedar have defensive system to insets like sending out powerful chemicals ,which can make parasites ill even die, in this case ,the insect attack theory in not grounded.

Second, according to the professor ,admittedly ,bear claws may have some damage to the tree' bark ,but will not cause the overall population decline.To better bolster his view ,he advances that in some places without bears ,where tree population is till decreasing. In that sense,this hypothesis is unconvincing.

About the last point ,the lecture also rejects it by offering powerful evidence.It indicates that in high elevations ,where more trees are supposed to die because of lower temperature ,but actually ,there is a severe tree decline in lower elevations.In this way ,the fact does not go along with the point in the passage that freezing damage will ruin the whole tree,and thus cause large amount of tree decline.
作者: 小兔爱twins    时间: 2012-8-2 19:03
There are various means of communication ,andit is hard to decide which way is better for discussing controversial problemswith others ,by sending text message like e-mails ,or through voice message .Asfor me ,the former one(可以去掉) is a more efficient and convenient way for threereasons.(不建议酱紫写。。。还不如再起一句。。The reasons are listed as follows.


To begin with, people tend to rely on visual information(注意审题啊,,是voicemesssagetext的比较。而不是f2f
text的比较啊。。。。 since it is more vivid and direct, while voice message sometimesinvolve personal emotions and can not reflect the reality .Have you ever feel that we are easy to tell lies on the line orexaggerate some incidents unconsciouslyThat’s because invisible environment make both sides do not worry tobe found telling lies.(这句在证明能的观点是???。。。 没有讲到text的好 也没有说到voice的坏。。 论证不了中心观点啊。。。。。   However, text message can be saved on computer for later reference ifwe need to check the decision (要表达什么?用词方面不够恰当。。。) –making process at any time, thus no one dare make mistakes and is carefullyadv修饰v. ad 初中的语法。。。) abouteach detail, which are essential for discussingcomplex projects.

Moreover, with the advancement of technology,e-mail is more multi-functional than before. In the past, we can only chat onwords, and this =which(句型注意要多样 尽量避免全部都是简单的陈述句。。。)may not clearly explain our ideas. But today ,sending pictures or apiece of voice message ,and even adding video clips can be realized in e-mails,which is helpful to put through(用词不当,,,,是要表达把我们的想法完全的传递给他人么?? 直接用 get across convey 都有传达,传递的意思 ,,, put through 是提出的意思啊。。) ourthoughts thoroughly to others .For example ,as an engineer ,my brother will send his planwith specific design drawing to the boss, and the combination of wordsand picture contributes单三 to a better understanding, thus it promotesdeeper conversation.(建议在用词的准确方面多练 虽然我自己也不是什么高级词汇大牛,,但很明显的能看出你的文章中的用词和表述不够地道)


At last, using text messaging is moreconvenient and more comfortable, comparing to making calls. As computer(初中的语法。,。。 可数名字前面要冠词) is widespread, people can send emails whenever and wherever they havean access to the Internet. We do not have to waste time on matching timeschedule to make sure each side is available ,instead we can type down anyinspirations-sometimes are the key point in dealing with upsetting issues - andshare them with others even there exists time difference or distance.


To sum up, I will use text messaging for itbring about efficiency ,convenience ,and trust among individuals ,and thesebenefits are important for solving controversial problems.

楼主今天下午才发的文章哦~~ 时间有点紧 没有细看。。
想说楼主你还有非常大的提升空间,,,
在句型句式上的多样 用词造句方面上的准确 这两个是key ponit啊!
建议你去看一本叫做10天搞定托福写作的书 里面将这两点讲的非常详细。。
在例子方面 不用太细节 表达到位 能辅证就ok,,但是例子一定不要离题
多找人改改 提升的会更快哦~~~
[/quote]
作者: kaddish    时间: 2012-8-6 22:03
标题: 8.6独立
High school students should take a course on basic economics

High school students have been involved in various academic courses, but recently there arises a new debate whether there is a need to set up basic economics in regular curricular as a consequence of frequent participation of economy in daily life. As for me, I agree with this new change, and my reasons are as followed.

To begin with, studying basic economics will bring about great benefits to learn other disciplines, because different fields are interrelated. For one thing, economy requires a good ability on accounting, which is an essential part of math as well, thus by practicing some basic economic exercise can improve a student’s mathematic skill. For another thing, as economy is a product of contemporary society, it reflects current politics and culture. For example, Roosevelt‘s new deal is a counterpart towards the Great Depression during World War Two, when American government’s budget was in a mess due to a long-period wartime. Therefore, we can enrich our historical knowledge and better learn the development of a society with the study of economy.

Apart from the merits on study, handling some basic economical knowledge can help us better manage the money in life .In the past ,I was unable to deal with money and always spent more than I earned. However, after taking the classes of financial management, can I have a firm control of personal expenditure, and thus I will save extra money to buy more worthwhile products .Last month, Sony Company launch a new digital camera which I have been longed so much, but I did not purchase it until several weeks later; since I know the price of new high –tech product is pretty high when it comes out first, whereas it will go down in the next few days. This is a common sense of economics in marketing. As a result, I saved a large amount of money.

Granted, in recent years, with the increasing burden on students from their studies, they have less time to work out after school. If adding one more course, this will increase their burden and even cause antipathy about study. However, confronting the fierce competition in the job market, the more we learn, the higher chance we will have to apply for a decent job, thus high school students deserve a harder –working study.

To sum up, basic economics knowledge not only improves a person’s study ability but also teach him/she how to manage their money; in addition, in the long run, this course can prepare them better for future development in universities and the society.
作者: sherryzhangh    时间: 2012-8-7 10:11
High school students have been involved in various academic courses, but recently there arises a new debate was raised( 最好别有there is 托福大忌), which is whether there is a need to high school should set up basic economics in regular curricular as a consequence of frequent participation of economy in daily life. As for me, I agree with this new change, and my reasons are as followed.

To begin with, studying basic economics will bring about great benefits to learn other disciplines, (感觉不通顺)because different fields are interrelated. For one thing, economy requires a good ability on accounting, which is an essential part of math as well, thus by practicing some basic economic exercise can improve a student’s mathematic skill. For another thing, as economy is a product of contemporary society, it reflects current politics and culture. For example, Roosevelt‘s new deal is a counterpart towards the Great Depression during World War Two, when American government’s budget was in a mess due to a long-period wartime. Therefore, we can enrich our historical knowledge and better learn the development of a society with the study of economy.

Apart from the merits on study, handlingpossessing some basic economical knowledge can help us better manage the money in life .In the past, I was unable to deal with money and always spent more than I earned. However, after taking the classes of financial management, can I have a firm control of personal expenditure, and thus I will save extra money to buy more worthwhile products .Last month, Sony Company launch a new digital camera which I have been longed so much, but I did not purchase it until several weeks later; since I know the price of new high –tech product is pretty high when it comes out first, whereas it will go down in the next few days. This is a common sense of economics in marketing. As a result, I saved a large amount of money.

Granted, in recent years, with the increasing burden on students from their studies, they have less time to work out after school. If adding one more course, this will increase their burden and even cause antipathy about study. However, confronting the fierce competition in the job market, the more we learn, the higher chance we will have to apply for a decent job, thus high school students deserve a harder –working study.

To sum up, basic economics knowledge not only improves a person’s study ability but also teach him/she how to manage their money; in addition, in the long run, this course can prepare them better for future development in universities and the society.



结构很清晰,举例也很恰当。用词也很好,可是对于长句的把握可能稍微弱一些。楼主应该在这方面作努力,加油!

作者: kaddish    时间: 2012-8-7 14:36
标题: 8.6综合
The reading passage cites three arguments to support that dinosaurs are endotherms .However, the professor cast doubt on each of the point .



To begin with ,the lecture indicates the dinosaurs fossils found in polar regions cannot prove they are endotherms, because the temperature in the past was much warmer; and even during the cold winter ,dinosaurs could migrate to warmer places or hibernate like modern reptiles. In a word ,the professor does not go along with the passage.



Second,in contrast to the view in the reading that leg position is an indication of running ,which is a symptom for endotherms; the professor claims that the purpose of the leg position is not for running but to support more weight ,since at that time being large size is an advantage for survival. In this way ,the argument is rejected by the professor.



At last, the harversian canals, according to the professor, is also not ungrounded. To better illustrate his point ,he says that there isgrowth rings in the bones as well ,which means a rapid growth followed by a slower growth or even stop growing. However, endotherms grow rapidly even when the environment is cold ,in other words ,they contain a year -round constant growth. This contradicts to the fact mentioned from the professor.

作者: sarahpx    时间: 2012-8-7 15:58
改 8.6 综合 蓝色修改建议  红色错误 绿色总结 精彩之处

The reading passage cites three arguments to support that dinosaurs are(were,这个时态是听力和阅读材料中都一致的,下同 )endotherms .However, the professor cast doubt on each of the point .

To begin with ,the lecture indicates the dinosaurs fossils found in polar regions cannot prove they are endotherms, because the temperature in the past was much warmer; and even during the cold winter ,dinosaurs could migrate to warmer places or hibernate like modern reptiles. In a word ,the professor does not go along with the passage.


Second,in contrast to the view in the reading that leg position is an indication of running ,which is a symptom for endotherms; (这里一个分号前面的句子没谓语呢)the professor claims that the purpose of the leg position is not for running but to support more weight ,since at that time(听力里好像没提吧) being large size is an advantage for survival. In this way ,the argument is rejected by the professor.

At last, the harversian canals, according to the professor, is also not ungrounded.(这意思是双重否定:不是没根基的?去掉not吧) To better illustrate his point ,he says that there is(are) growth rings in the bones as well ,which means a rapid growth followed by a slower growth or even stop growing. However, endotherms grow rapidly even when the environment is cold ,in other words ,they contain a year -round constant growth.(lz 超棒,重要细节) This contradicts to the fact mentioned from the professor.

总结:
LZ听力很强,好多地方我都没听明白,看了lz 写的我又听了遍才知道这么回事。
行文逻辑性也挺好的,把文字精炼得恰到好处。就是有些小地方如时态,单复数注意下。




作者: kaddish    时间: 2012-8-7 16:23
标题: to sara
亲,那个第二段的分号前没有谓语求解释啊,我没找出来怎么改
作者: sarahpx    时间: 2012-8-7 18:01
额,你的问题是说这句话不知道怎么错还是不知如何改?
其实我就分号的用法也不敢说全明白,但是就感觉这个地方怪,以下是个人意见:
分号前后应该都是完整的句意结构,而你分号前的是in contrast to 引导的一个分支部分,不是完整的句意。分号后面的the professor claims that……才是重点,如果要按原句子改,分号换成逗号就行,语法上没问题。但是这样一来整个句子就太长了。我个人建议楼主可以拆分成两句写,前面一句写reading passage legs position怎样,然后面在写the professor 说什么。
作者: kaddish    时间: 2012-8-7 20:57
哈哈对头我懂了,thx,你这么一说的确是
作者: kaddish    时间: 2012-8-10 15:23
--8.9独立和综合迟点上交
作者: hjl80959    时间: 2012-8-10 15:39
请上交后尽快通知在我那边留言
作者: 浅吟天    时间: 2012-8-10 16:51
8.9综合写完消息我或在我那儿留言哈
作者: kaddish    时间: 2012-8-10 18:37
标题: 8.9独立
You can know a lot about a person through the types of friends this person has

Our life is surrounded by differnet friends, and they influence us unconsciously. Therefore, reasonably, you can know a lot about a person through the types of friends this person has. And my reasons are as follows.

To begin with ,as an old saying goesbirds of a feather flock together”--people with same personalities and interests always can be friends. In other words, friends serve as a mirror to reflect how a person performs and what he/she likes in daily life. Kind-hearted individuals ,for instance ,like to anticipate in some volunteer organizations such as The Red Cross to help people in need, where they can meet people who are willing to assist in others as well. Also, every day after class, we can see students play basketball on the playground since they share the same hobby .Thus, nothing is more efficient to know a person than investigating the social network a person owns.

Moreover, we can dig out more hidden characteristics if we have a complete understanding of a person’s impersonal relationship. People tend to be what their friends like most time, but what we see is not always the truth. For example, do wealthy individuals only splurge on luxuries and never pay back to society? In reality, Bob, my neighbor, coming from a rich family, is devoted in charity and helping others secretly. Only talking to the workers in my social community do I realize his generosity and selflessness.

Admittedly, a person’s personality is effected by other aspects ,such as parenting style ,education, social environment and so on; particularly our parents, who are the first teachers at the best learning period within our lifespan. However, sooner or later, we will grow up and cannot depend on parents any more .After entering the society, friends play a more important role since we spend much more time with them.

To sum up, people can be friends in terms of similar identities; it is the variety of network that helps us to know a person’s diversity. Therefore, we can know a lot about an individual through the types of friends the person has.



作者: kaddish    时间: 2012-8-10 18:37
标题: 8.9综合
The reading is talking about that the new ecocertification is not available in the United States, while the professor believe American wood companies will eventually seek this new certification .

To begin with, according to the professor, American consumers do not treat ads the same way. In other words, they can distinguish the ads claimed by the companies and the ads advocated by independent certification agencies. As consumers have a confidence in the world certification organization with a high reputation, they will believe the labels made on the products. In this way, the professor disagrees with the reading.

Secondly, granted, price is one reason in the purchasing-making decision ,but it is only make sense when comparing two products ,of which one is much higher or lower than the other one.While price difference is smalljust as the new certification will bring about, consumers value other factors, in addition ,American consumers do care about protecting environment.



At last, the passage indicates that ecocertification is not practical for American companies ,since most of their products are sold in the USA. However, this argument is also rejected by the lecture.The professor claims that the development of globalization market will make native companies face a fierce competition with foreign corporations, because native customers prefer ecological products. Therefore, if American companies slowly catch up the new trend, they will lose their domestic consumers sooner or later.

作者: 浅吟天    时间: 2012-8-10 19:00
黄色模版加好的,绿色批注红色我改的



The reading is talking about that the new ecocertification is not available in the United States, while the professor believe American wood companies will eventually seek this new certification .

To begin with, according to the professor, American consumers do not treat ads
(考试写完整把)the same way(as people in other countries). In other words, they can distinguish the ads claimed by the companies and the ads advocated by independent certification agencies. As consumers have a confidence in the world certification organization with a high reputation, they will believe the labels made on the products. In this way, the professor disagrees with the reading.

Secondly, granted, price is one reason in the purchasing-making decision ,but it is only make(only makes) sense when comparing two products ,of which(
讨论一下,我觉得很别扭,若确定有这种说法请告诉我) one is much higher or lower than the other one.While price difference is smalljust as the new certification will bring about, consumers value other factors, in addition(用such as。。好点,然后与后面那个care环境相连,不然后面那句有点突兀,或还需要加一句说明care环境与price 高但有市场的关系) ,American consumers do care about protecting environment.



At last, the passage indicates that ecocertification is not practical for American companies ,since most of their products are sold in the USA. However, this argument is also rejected by the lecture
lecturer.The professor claims that the development of globalization market will make native companies face a fierce competition with foreign corporations, because native customers prefer ecological products. Therefore, if American companies slowly catch up the new trend, they will lose their domestic consumers sooner or later.(最后一段写的真好!)



总的来说,没什么大问题,细节都抓到了~

作者: hjl80959    时间: 2012-8-10 19:51
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结或模板红色为错误

You can know a lot about a person through the types of friends this person has

Our life is surrounded by differnet friends, and they influence us unconsciously. Therefore, reasonably, you can know a lot about a person through the types of friends this person has. And my reasons are as follows.
简短有力不错。
To begin with ,as an old saying goesbirds of a feather flock together”--people with same personalities and interests always can be friends. In other words, friends serve as a mirror to reflect how a person performsand what he/she likes in daily life. Kind-hearted individuals ,for instance ,like to anticipate in some volunteer organizations such as The Red Cross to help people in need, where they can meet people who are willing to assist in others as well. Also, every day after class, we can see students play basketball on the playground since they share the same hobby .Thus, nothing is more efficient to know a person than investigating the social network a person owns.
例子很好,很好的说明问题,且很精炼
Moreover, we can dig out more hidden characteristics if we have a complete understanding of a person’s impersonal relationship. People tend to be what their friends like most time, (这个应该不对吧,变成朋友们喜欢的人和后面的观点不太协调或许这些写比较好 People tend to justify a person from his background of familybut what we see is not always the truth. For example, do wealthy individuals only splurge on luxuries and never pay back to society? In reality, Bob, my neighbor, coming from a rich family, is devoted in charity and helping others secretly.Only talking to the workers in my social community do I realize his generosity and selflessness.
句型丰富,
Admittedly, a person’s personality is effected by other aspects ,such as parenting style ,education, social environment and so on; particularly our parents, who are the first teachers at the best learning period within our lifespan. However, sooner or later, we will grow up and cannot depend on parents any more .After entering the society, friends play a more important role since we spend much more time with them.
这算是解释了一下为什么要通过朋友也很好~
To sum up, people can be friends in terms of similar identities; it is the variety of network that helps us to know a person’s diversity. Therefore, we can know a lot about an individual through the types of friends the person has.

在总结一下,前面几点会更好。

这是一篇很好的独立写作,楼主的行云流水的文风很久没看到了,用词也很精当,很好!

如果能在扩充一下,那就完美了

不得不说文风和楼主以前写的大不相同啊,楼主是怎么有这么大的提升的?

作者: kaddish    时间: 2012-8-13 20:30
TPO11
The passage mentions that less reading on literature will have unfortunate effects not only on readers but also for society, but the professor casts doubt on each of the point.
To begin with, the passage says that the sharp decline on literature is a huge loss because of its contribution for intellectual stimulation; in contrast, the professor claims that other versions, such as politic essays, history books can all encourage to broaden people's imagination. In this way, the professor does not go along with this point.
Secondly, according to the professor, less time on reading does not mean culture decline. In other words, there appears more modes of learning culture, varying from watching a good movie to listening great music .Besides, these new emerging cultural activities are more accessible to individuals.
At last, the professor indicates that we should not blame on readers for their lower standards; in reality, it's the fault of writers who produce works more difficult for people to understand that force audience to lose interest on literature. That can explain why publishers are less supportive for modern writers.
作者: kaddish    时间: 2012-8-13 20:32
独立作文~~这篇是以前写的所以。。。
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should know the events happening around the world, even if it unlikely has some influence on your daily life.
Along with the widely application of advanced science and technology in news media industry, we are exposed to plenty information from the world every day. Some people contend that knowing what happen around the world is not necessary for the reason that it does not have impact on our daily life. Nevertheless, as I see it, sooner or later, it will bring us benefits if we have the consciousness to get to know the news every day.
To begin with, as relationship among countries becomes more closely than any other period in the history, and this calls people for a more global insight. A typical example is the widespread of global warming .People who live in the coastland region have been effected first ,while in other places the destroying impact may not be such serious as native citizens are easily to ignore this problem. But from a authoritative science survey, in the next decade, the increasingly rising sea level caused by green gas will submerge more cities and a worldwide cooperation is in badly need. In other words ,it’s time for people in any country to fight for their benefits ,otherwise ,they will suffer the horrible consequences sooner or later.This illustration tells us that future developments relies on global realization and effort.
Moreover, learning news of various countries is a process of enriching knowledge, which may not have direct influence on your daily life ,but in the future it is of great benefit for life and career. For instance,my classmate Jack, is proficient in several subjects varying from biology ,art to sports because he read any section in the newspaper .Thus ,he can easily enlarge his social network from his wild range of knowledge since people all want to make friends with intelligent person.Also after gradation ,his versatility on information helps him get popular in the company as he can handle different types of problems. In a word, abundant knowledge is helpful not only in study but also in work
Admittedly, some of the information we received may be misleading or useless. And due to the large quantity of news, we may have to spend much time on them. However, considerable though the disadvantages of knowing what happen in the world may brings about; they cannot compete with the great merits of it.
To sum up, I agree that people should know news happening around the world since it will bring us benefits if we have the consciousness to get to know the news every day.
作者: sherryzhangh    时间: 2012-8-14 09:49
TPO11
the
reading passage mentions that less young people decline of the reading on literature will have unfortunate effects not only on readers but also for society, but the professor casts doubt on each of the point.
To begin with, the passage says that the sharp decline on literature is a huge loss because of its contribution for intellectual stimulation; in contrast, the professor claims that other versions
genre, such as politic essays, history books can all encourage to broad en people's horizons( 固定搭配) imagination. In this way, the professor does not go along with this point.
Secondly, according to the professor, less time on reading does not mean culture decline. In other words, there which appear more modes of learning culture, varying from watching a good movie to listening great music .Besides, these new emerging cultural activities are more accessible to individuals.
At last, the professor indicates that we should not blame on readers for their lower standards; in reality, it's the fault of writers who produce works more difficult for people to understand that force audience to lose interest on literature. That can explain why publishers
young readers are less supportive for modern writers. ( 文中好像没有题出版商什么事儿,不确定的还是不要编吧)

作者: sherryzhangh    时间: 2012-8-14 09:57
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should know the events happening around the world, even if it unlikely has some influence on your daily life.
Along with the widely application of advanced science and technology in news media industry, we are exposed to plenty information from the world every day. Some people contend that knowing what happen around the world is not necessary for the reason that it does not have impact on our daily life. Nevertheless, as I see it, sooner or later, it will bring us benefits if we have the consciousness to get to know the news every day.
开头不错!
To begin with, as relationship among countries becomes more closely than any other period in the history, and this calls people for a more global insight. A typical example is the widespread of global warming .People who live in the coastland region have been effected first ,while in other places the destroying impact may not be such serious as native citizens are easily to ignore this problem. But from a authoritative science survey, in the next decade, the increasingly rising sea level caused by green gas will submerge more cities
(句子太长容易产生歧义,断开用一些连词,也很好)thereforeand a worldwide cooperation is in badly need. In other words, it’s time for people in any country to fight for their benefits, otherwise, they will suffer the horrible consequences sooner or later. This illustration tells us that future developments relies on global realization and effort.
Moreover, learning news of various countries is a process of enriching knowledge, which may not have direct influence on your daily life, but in the future it is of great benefit for life and career. For instance, my classmate Jack, is proficient in several subjects varying from biology, art to sports
because he read any section in the newspaper .Thus, he can easily enlarge his social network from his wild range of knowledge since people all want to make friends with intelligent person. Also after graduation(注意拼写) ,his versatility on information helps him get popular in the company as he can handle different types of problems. In a word, abundant knowledge is helpful not only in study but also in work
admittedly, some of the information we received may be misleading or useless. And due to the large quantity of news, we may have to spend much time on them. However, considerable though the disadvantages of knowing what happen in the world may brings about; they cannot compete with the great merits of it.
To sum up, I agree that people should know news happening around the world since it will bring us benefits if we have the consciousness to get to know the news every day.

作者: kaddish    时间: 2012-8-15 18:05
标题: 8.15综合
Commercial fossil trades do bring about negative effects mentioned in the reading passage ,but ,the professor asserts that the advantages overweight the disadvantages.



To begin with,accordingto the lecture ,instead of less exposure ,private collectors make it possible that the public have more chances to see fossils;because local originations or universities can buy fossils and display frequently.In this way ,the professor does not go along with this point.



Secondly,the passage says that scientists will lose access to somefossils ,which are of crucial importance for discoveries.However, the professor also rejects the view.Before putting value on a fossil ,scientists should identify it first ,and then pass through to private collectors.In that case ,researchers do not miss out important information out there.



At last, granted ,excavation task will damage some evidence ,but comparing to the point thata larger amount of new fossils can be found ,the significance is less. What counts in science most is discovering as many as fossils used for future research ,thus people can better trace back to the past.

作者: 陈喵喵holdon    时间: 2012-8-15 23:46
Commercial fossil trades do bring about negative effects mentioned in the reading passage ,but ,the professor asserts that the advantages overweight the disadvantages.



To begin with,accordingto the lecture ,instead of less exposure ,private collectors make it possible that the public have more chances to see fossils;because local originations or universities can buy fossils and display frequently.In this way ,the professor does not go along with this point.



Secondly,the passage says that scientists will lose access to somefossils ,which are of crucial importance for discoveries.However, the professor also rejects the view.Before putting value on a fossil ,scientists should identify it first ,and then pass through to private collectors.In that case ,researchers do not miss out important information out there.



At last, granted ,excavation task will damage some evidence ,but comparing to the point thata larger amount of new fossils can be found ,the significance is less这句感觉有点奇怪的说. What counts in science most is discovering as many as fossils used for future research ,thus people can better trace back to the past.
-- by 会员 kaddish (2012/8/15 18:05:39)



感觉lz语感好像挺好的读起来很上口,但是因此觉得有点口语化.很流畅但用词汇不够academic的感觉..
看你的还发现了几个我自己的错误= =
还有就是觉得lz用标点的功力很深厚啊,导致感觉句子的结构有点松散,还是有点口语化的感觉..
作者: kaddish    时间: 2012-8-19 16:21
标题: 8.19综合
The reading passage puts forward three ways to deal with the increasing decline of Torreya in the state of Florida, while the professor cast doubt on each of the point.

To begin with, the passage contends that reestablishing Torreya in the same location can help recover the its prosperity, because specific microclimate within in the northern part of Florida provide suitable condition for growing.in contrast, the professor asserts that large environment will change the microclimate. For example, global warming increase the local temperature and thus make many wetlands and areas used to be ideal habitats for Torreya,cooler and not favorable for living.

Secondly, according to the professor ,recollecting tress to a new environment is also not a satisfactory solution .To bolster his view ,he mentions a specie -black locus -which once transplanted to a different place .Unfortunately ,this kind of tree caused huge damage to this new area due to its fast spread ,killing many other native trees,among which some are originally endangered and face a high possibility of extinction.

At last, the professor is of the view that preserving Torreya in research centers will lead to a higher vulnerability to diseases. That’s because Torreya can be resistant only in a large and various range. However, labs are unable to offer a capacity of enough large number of trees and variety. In this way, the professor argues this research cannot ensure the survival of Torreya.

作者: 瓜瓜不瓜    时间: 2012-8-19 23:10
The reading passage puts forward three ways to deal with the increasing decline of Torreya in the state of Florida, while the professor cast doubt on each of the point.
(开头段简单明了,挺好的,但是有一个问题,算是比较严重的是:综合写作侧重的是听力,而不是阅读。所以你这个开头的侧重点放错了,应该把professor的观点作为主句,阅读的观点作为从句。)
To begin with, the passage contends that reestablishing Torreya in the same location can help recover the its prosperity, because specific microclimate within in the northern part of Florida provide suitable condition for growing.in(In) contrast, the professor asserts that large environment will change the microclimate. For example, global warming increase the local temperature and thus make many wetlands and areas used to be ideal habitats for Torreya,cooler and not favorable for living.
(缺了一个drier和 Florida的点)
Secondly, according to the professor ,recollecting(应该是relocation吧?) tress to a new environment is also not a satisfactory solution .To bolster his view ,he mentions a specie -black locus -which once transplanted to a different place .Unfortunately ,this kind of tree caused huge damage to this new area due to its fast spread ,killing many other native trees,among which some are originally endangered and face a high possibility of extinction.(还差最后一点:老k讲了example,讲的点也全,但是professor举例子的原因是:unpredicted outcome,最关键的一点没有说,临门一脚~)

At last, the professor is of the view that preserving Torreya in research centers will lead to a higher vulnerability to diseases.(体会一下:1.导致T容易感染疾病,2.由于在实验室内T不能survive from disease,这两个观点还是有差别的,而第二个更符合我们要表达的意思) That’s because Torreya can be resistant only in a large and various range. However, labs are unable to offer a capacity of enough large number of trees and variety. In this way, the professor argues this research cannot ensure the survival of Torreya.

要是能有一个结尾就更好了,结尾1-2句,简单收尾就可以,可以参照我的,使文章看起来更完整~

总的来说,文章表达(即老k关注的模版问题不存在,你这样的表达挺好的),重点放在听力内容上哈!加油!

作者: kaddish    时间: 2012-8-22 17:40
The lecturer contends that forest fire not only causes damage, but also creates new opportunities for plants, animals and local economy, which is the opposite in the reading passage.
To begin with, according to the professor, vegetation actually benefit from the big fire. Certain plants are able to geminate in the ruined place where originally existed larger plants, thus contributes to the diversity of forest. For example, smaller plants can survive under open and unshaded conditions, and seed plants tend to grow in high-level wet places. Therefore, the view in the passage is refuted.
Moreover, little -sized animals who prey on smaller plants got an opportunity to multiply like rabbits. What's more, preys feeding on these predators also begin to reproduce in this forest. In that case, food chain will be strengthened, also a more diverse species are created. However, the passage asserts that the animals will suffer great loss as well.
At last, the professor claims that only a series of fires will bring negative consequences to local economy, but in fact, there never occurs  a huge disaster like the fire in1988 .Hence, tourism will not be damaged because people still come back to visit the park. In contrast, the passage maintains that local economy will suffer a lot due to a decline on tourism.
作者: sherryzhangh    时间: 2012-8-23 10:19
The lecturer contends that forest fire not onlywould not necessarily causes damage, but also creates new opportunities for plants, animals and local economy,(这句话的意思不准确,翻译过来的意思就是说不仅能引起损害,还能创造出新的植被,新的食物链和为当地经济带来发展,这个递进关系的逻辑是不正确的.) which is the opposite in the reading passage.
To begin with, according to the professor, vegetation actually benefit from the big fire. Certain plants are able to geminate in the ruined place where originally existed larger plants, thus contributes to the diversity of forest. For example, smaller plants can survive under open and un-shaded conditions, and seed plants tend to grow in high-level wet
(heat )places. Therefore, the view in the passage is refuted.
Moreover, little -sized animals who prey on smaller plants got an opportunity to multiply like rabbits. What's more, preys feeding on these predators also begin to reproduce in this forest. In that case, food chain will be strengthened, also a more diverse species are created. However, the passage asserts that the animals will suffer great loss as well.
At last, the professor claims that only a
series of fires will bring negative consequences to local economy, but in fact, there It never occurs  a huge disaster like after the fire in1988 .Hence, tourism will not be damaged because people still come back to visit the park the next year and the years after. In contrast, the passage maintains that local economy will suffer a lot due to a decline on tourism.
作者: kaddish    时间: 2012-8-24 16:30
The passage is talking about the issue that ethanol is not a good alternative to gasoline ,while the professor argues back this view by citing three specific reasons.

To begin with, the professor admits that burning ethanol will release carbon dioxide ,but it will not add to global warming. In fact , since most raw material of ethanol comes from plants ,which are helpful in removing harmful gases from atmosphere .Thus, observing carbon dioxide from plants actually offset the negative consequence of burning process.

According to the professor ,producing ethanol does not have to reduce a large amount of resources for animals. Producers only take certain parts of corn ,for example ,to satisfy their production. And these parts are not eaten by animals. Therefore , animals still have enough food to feed on. In this way, this point is contradict with the passage .

At last, the passage asserts that ethanol will have no competing advantage with gasoline on price, if one main support -government subside -discontinue in the future .In contrast, the lecturer disagree with this point. Companies will expend production as a result of an increasing purchase on ethanol ,which will lead to a drop in the price .Besides government will still maintain its subside. In that case, ethanol can keep a low price.

作者: kchszy061ban    时间: 2012-8-25 13:26
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The passage is talking about the issue that ethanol is not a good alternative to gasoline ,while the professor argues back this view by citing three specific reasons.

To begin with, the professor admits that burning ethanol will release carbon dioxide ,but it will not add to global warming. In fact , since most raw material of ethanol comes from plants ,which are helpful in removing harmful gases from atmosphere .Thus, observing carbon dioxide from plants actually offset the negative consequence of burning process.(这里总体很好,加点细节就更好了,比如plants need co2 as one kind of nutrition.

According to the professor ,producing ethanol does not have to reduce a large amount of resources for animals. Producers only take certain parts of corn ,for example ,to satisfy their production. And these parts are not eaten by animals. Therefore , animals still have enough food to feed on. In this way, this point is contradict with the passage .(这段很好,)

At last, the passage asserts that ethanol will have no competing advantage with gasoline on price, if one main support -government subside -discontinues in the future .In contrast, the lecturer disagree with this point. Companies will expend production as a result of an increasing purchase on ethanol ,which will lead to a drop in the price .Besides government will still maintain its subside. In that case, ethanol can keep a low price.

整体很好,不错

作者: kaddish    时间: 2012-8-25 19:41
The reading passage put forward three possible theories responsible for the decline of yellow cedar trees. However, the professor cast doubt on each of the point by citing three reasons.

To begin with, the professor says that actually healthy cedar trees are more resistant to insect attacks than other kind of tress, because the barks and leaves are saturated with a poisonous chemical substance that beetles cannot suffer. Thus, these beetles only feed on some dead or sick cedar trees, which will not cause the decline of tress. This view contradicts with what is mentioned in the passage.

Secondly, the professor asserts that bear’s clawing is not the reason of the overall population decline as well. To bolster his argument, he explains that although there is a widespread decrease in North America, some places where no bears exist also face the same problem. Therefore, the point in the passage is rejected which claims that bear attack is mainly responsible for the tree decline.

At last, admittedly, temperature change makes roots more sensitive, but the frozen root damage theory is ungrounded, either. If cedar tress are easily damaged in freezing conditions, why there is a larger population decline in lower elevation enjoying warmer climate, where is supposed to suffer bigger loss from the reading passage. In this way, the third hypothesis is unconvincing.

作者: freddychan    时间: 2012-8-26 15:16
The reading passage put(puts) forward three possible theories responsible for the decline of yellow cedar trees. However, the professor cast(casts) doubt on each of the point by citing three reasons.

To begin with, the professor says that actually healthy cedar trees are more resistant to insect attacks than other kind of tress(trees), because the barks and leaves are saturated with a poisonous chemical substance that beetles cannot suffer. Thus, these beetles only feed on some dead or sick cedar trees, which will not cause the decline of tress(trees). This view contradicts with what is mentioned in the passage.

Secondly, the professor asserts that bear’s clawing is not the reason of the overall population decline as well. To bolster his argument, he explains that although there is a widespread decrease in North America, some places where no bears exist also face the same problem. Therefore, the point in the passage is rejected which claims that bear attack is mainly responsible for the tree decline.

At last, admittedly, temperature change makes roots more sensitive, but the frozen root damage theory is ungrounded, either. If cedar tress(trees) are easily damaged in freezing conditions, why there is a larger population decline in lower elevation enjoying warmer climate, where is supposed to suffer bigger loss from the reading passage. In this way, the third hypothesis is unconvincing.

楼主打字的时候稍微注意点,不然因为因为打字错误而丢分会很可惜~~加油~~
作者: kaddish    时间: 2012-8-31 22:49
The passage provides three possible theories to explain the purpose of Chaco, while the professor casts doubt on each of the point.
to begin with, in contrast to the passage that the Chaco serves for residential use , the lecturer claims that this view is ungrounded. He points out that  there has not enough fireplaces in the house if it was used for living purpose, because each household require one fireplace to do daily housework. In fact ,the largest fireplace could only be utilized for around ten households ,thus it is impossible to hold hundreds of residents in the Chaco.
The second view mentioned in the passage is that these houses are for food storage. However, the professor also rejects this point .According to him, later excavation reveals that no trace of maize ,the one main food at that time , or containers have been found in the Chaco, which contradicts the expectation that there should have spills of maize or larger containers there.
In regard to the ceremony function, the professor disagrees with it, either. He says that  actually building material have also been found in the mound which is supposed to be a ceremony site.This fact means the mound was originally a construction place .Furthermore, the professor explains that the discarded pots might be traces left behind after construction. In this way ,the professor not goes along with the reading passage.
作者: 夜游的恶鸟    时间: 2012-9-1 15:59

______错误  ______不恰当  _____修改  _____好!
The passage provides three possibletheories to explain the purpose of Chaco, while the professor casts doubt oneach of the point.
to(To) begin with, incontrast to the passage that theChaco serves for residential use , the lecturer claims that this view isungrounded. He points out that
there has(are) not enoughfireplaces in the house if it was used for living purpose, because eachhousehold require one fireplace to do daily housework. In fact, the largestfireplace could only be utilized for around ten households, thus it isimpossible to hold hundreds of residents in the Chaco.
The second view mentioned in the passage is that these houses are for foodstorage. However, the professor also rejects this point. According to him,later excavation reveals that no trace of maize, the onemain food at that time, or containers have been found in the Chaco, whichcontradicts the expectation that there should have spills of maize or largercontainers there.
In regard to theceremony function, the professor disagrees with it, either. He says that actuallybuilding material have also been found in the mound which is supposed to be aceremony site. This fact means the mound was originally a construction place. Furthermore,the professor explains that the discarded pots might be traces left behind afterconstruction. In this way, the professor not goes(doesn’tgo) along with the reading passage.

听得内容非常详细全面。语言运用的也很好。只是我发现标点符号的空格总是不对,不知道是不是发帖子时候的原因。如果不是就要注意一下喽。还有一些小的词汇搭配比如there are 而没有there have。 总体很好呢!~   字数也刚好比较合适




欢迎光临 ChaseDream (https://forum.chasedream.com/) Powered by Discuz! X3.3