ChaseDream
标题: Vance童鞋的作业贴，求批改，求虐，求喷 [打印本页]
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-7-24 10:05
标题: Vance童鞋的作业贴，求批改，求虐，求喷
TOPIC
o you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime.
Due to the development of science andtechnology, a great number of breakthroughs had been made to change the wholesociety even the progress of the human dramatically. For instance: the developmentof the internet enriches people’s life, the advent of the smart-phone improvesthe communication between people, the high speed transportation makes people’slives more convenient. From that perspective, some people may hold the viewthat the most important problems will be solved in our lifetime. However, in myeyes, I insist that there are still numerous of significant problems need to behandle and them will not be tackled in our lifetime. I will illustrate thereasons as following in this essay.
To begin with, as the technologydeveloping, it really solved a great number of problems which people sufferedfrom. Such as: the organic transplant saves numerous people’s lives. Nevertheless,while the technology settling old problems, new problems will come out and somemay even more severe than the previous ones. Take the nuclear energy as anexample: when people find out that nuclear energy can replace the nonrenewableenergy, such as, fossil oil, and coal. They are content with it and build nuclearpowers as possible as they can. But they ignore the problem about how tocontrol the nuclear energy appropriately. And this problem is becomingincreasingly severe nowadays. The leak of nuclear energy happened in Japan in2011 is a lesson. The nuclear power station exploded after the earthquake. Itcaused hundreds of people got infected and near twenty thousand of people haveto leave their home because of the radiation.
What’s more, technology innovations havetaken place, but the overall condition of humanity is no better. Wars, violence,and poverty are still with us. Take Syria as an example, there was a explosionhappened there several days ago. One of bodyguards exploded the bomb whichleaded the national defense administrator and several officials died in theincident. I believe technology cannot change the condition of humanity.
Taking all these aspects intoconsideration, I hold the view that although the technology developed fast andthe society changed dramatically, still there are various important issuescannot be solved in our lifetime.
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-7-24 10:11
标题: 第二篇作文
TOPICo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Although science and technology will continue to improve, the most significant improvement for the quality of people's lives have already taken place.
Due to the development of science andtechnology, a great number of breakthroughs had been made to change the wholesociety and even the progress of the human dramatically. For instance: theorganic transplant saves people’s lives, the advent of the smart-phone improvesthe communication between people, the high speed transportation makes people’slives more convenient. From that perspective, some people hold the view thatthe quality of people’s lives has been improved significantly. However, in myeyes, the quality of people’s lives does not be improved and may even be deteriorated.I will illustrate the reasons as following in this essay.
To begin with, although the development ofthe technology accelerates the progress of the society, the cost of it is thepollution of the environment. The damage of the environment is becomingincreasingly severe issue, such as: the increasingly exhausted gas in the air,the increasingly severe congestion on the road, the increasingly poor qualityof water. How can people lead high quality lives in such environment? When Iwas as a kid, I always swam with my father in the river near my house. Thewater was clear at that time. But now, even fishes are unwilling to swim in theriver! The water is dirty and filled with rubbish. In the summer, the rivergives out foul smell which disturbs us a lot.
What’s more, some kinds of the technologyseem benefit the society in ostensibly, but the drawbacks it have are outweighits advantages. Take the assemble-line manufacturing as an example: admittedly,it improves the efficiency of the factories and stimulates the economy of the society.However, it has numerous disadvantages. The less cost and efficient assemble-linesreplace the positions of the manual workers. As a result, a great number ofworkers lost their jobs. In addition, it also rendered us become the slaver tothe machines. The Foxconn, one famous factory in China, is a typicalrepresentation. In that factory there were nearly 10 people jumped from thefactory in succession in 2011 because the above reason.
Taking all these aspects intoconsideration, I am not in favor of the view that the quality of people’s liveshas improved already.
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-7-24 10:14
标题: 第三篇作文
TOPICo you agree or not: people should know the events happening around the world, even if it unlikely have some influence on your daily life.
Although people from different countriesare separated by regional boundaries, thanks to the increasingly advancedtechnology of mass media and the internet, we can access to plenty informationall over the world. Notwithstanding, parts of the information seems unrelatedto and have no influence on we individuals but we still need to be aware ofthose message. I will illustrate the reasons as following in this essay.
To begin with, having an international viewcan help you find great jobs especially to those who want to work in theinternational companies. As the increasingly number of international companiesestablish branch companies in China, it is essential for the employees to havean international view and pay attention to the information in foreign countrieseven which seems have no affect on their lives. Take me as example, last summerI was interviewed for an internship in Microsoft. During the interview, theinterviewer asked me talk about the economic crisis which happened in America. Iwas so embarrassed at that time because I had no knowledge about it. I thoughtthat was not happened in my country and was unrelated to my daily life. It isobviously, I failed in the interview. After that I realized that informing themovement of the world is becoming a basic skill for the employees especially incurrent globalized era.
What’s more, knowing the events happened inother countries can help us to handle some emergency crisis. In currentglobalized society, if some county occurs crisis, no matter in the flied ofeconomy, culture or science, it will affect other countries in a short time.Therefore, knowing the latest trends of the international affairs can help us preventthe crisis from happening and prepare measures to deal with it in advance. Takethe economic crisis happened in America in 2008 as an example. Although it was originatedin the America, it spread quick and involved nearly all of the countries. Sincemy country had a prediction of that and made some policies to protect the economyin domestic, the influence of the crisis was not severe.
Taking all these aspects intoconsideration, I hold the view that even though some kinds of the global eventsseems have no influence to our daily lives, we still require to know them.
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-7-24 10:16
标题: 第四篇作文
TOPIC: It is better to relax by a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise. Do you agree?
Certain people prefer to relax by watchingmovies or reading books rather than doing physical exercise in their sparetime. On account of it can relieve their stress and make their minds peaceful.However, compared with watching movies and reading, I believe that doingphysical exercise is a better choice. I will illustrate the reasons asfollowing in this essay.
To begin with, doing exercise can strengthenour bodies and keep us fit, which do not take place while you reading books orwatching movies. Only do we have healthy life then we can pay more attentionand put more energy on our work. Take me as an example: my major is computerscience. As a consequence, I have to face to the computer nearly 8 hours everyday to program software. And I do not have time to do exercises. It leads thesituation that after facing to the computer for a long time, my neck will beache and sore. As a result, the efficiency becomes increasingly lower. Afterwards,I spend one hour doing exercise with my friends, such as running on theplayground, playing basketball. Several weeks later, the condition of my neckis relieved. In addition, the efficiency of programming is boosted. It isobvious that exercising plays an important role in people’s working, especiallyto those who always face to the computer and do not stretch for a long time.
What’s more, doing exercise also canrelease the stress and improve the quality of sleep. As the pressure of workbecoming increasingly heavy day by day, people should pay more attention to thisissue. Two weeks before I took the TOEFL test, I felt upset and stressed aboutthe test. It resulted in the situation that I could not go sleep well at night.In other words, I always woke up in the night or hardly slept deeply. Then mymother required me to have a walk around our community after dinner with her. Breathingthe fresh air, my mood become down and the stress was smoothed. As a result, mysleeping quality became great and I have enough energy for fighting in the nextday.
Taking all these aspects intoconsideration, I hold the view that doing exercise is more efficient andeffective as a relax method in your spare time.
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-7-24 16:42
标题: 7月24日
TOPIC: Do you agree or disagreewith the following statement? There is never a reason to be rude (impolite) toanother person. Use specific reasons to support your answer.(7月24日 110821NA)
As the rhythm of people’s lives is becomingincreasingly rapid, numerous people hold the view that there is no need to bepolite to friends, such as: people do not say hello when they meet theirfriends. Because they think such manners waste a lot of time. However, I believethat it is essential to be polite to others no matter of your friends or acquaintances.I will illustrate the reasons as follows in this essay.
To begin with, beingpolite to your friends is indispensible, if you want to maintain a friendship. Beingpolite to your friends equals showing respect to them. If you are rude to them,they will feel you insult to them and they will depart from you. Take me as anexample: last month my friend Mark asked me to accompany him to go shopping forseveral times through texting message and making phone calls. But I did notwant to go with him so I did not reply him every time. As a result of this impolitebehavior, he did not contact with me for a long time until I made a sincereapologize to him for that. Being polite and showing respect is the fundament ofkeeping a companionship.
What’s more,being polite to your team members during work is helpful to stimulate thepassion of your coworkers. Therefore, they can accomplish their workefficiently and effectively. It is common sense that if your boss or leader is unpleasantto you, you will be depressed and unwilling to finish your work. Last summer, Ihad an internship in Microsoft in ShangHai. I was assigned to a camera team. Tony,my team leader, was a amicable person, every time when he assigned missions tome, he would end it up with some encourage and grateful words, for instance:thank you so much, great job. Due to his genial words, I was willing and hadpassion to finish my job. And I felt happy to work with him. Obviously, suchfriendly behaviors even those grateful words can have great power in certainsituation.
More over, our governmentpays great attention to structure the harmonious society in recent times. Why? Politenesscan be infectious and have reactions. Only you are polite to the people youmeet, will they be friend to you in return. As a consequence, it can reduce theviolence and preserve the society stable.
Taking all theseaspects into consideration, I insist that we should be polite to others.
作者: hansxiao7 时间: 2012-7-25 07:59
As the rhythm of people’s lives is becoming increasingly rapid, numerous people hold the view that there is no need to be polite to friends, such as: people do not say hello when they meet their friends. Because they think such manners waste a lot of time. However, I believethat it is essential to be polite to others no matter of your friends or acquaintances.I will illustrate the reasons as follows in this essay.
To begin with, being polite to your friends is indispensible, if you want to maintain a friendship. Being polite to your friends equals showing respect to them. If you are rude to them,they will feel you insult to them and they will depart from you(这个这个。。。depart不如改成你们的friendship break up). Take me as an example: last month my friend Mark asked me to accompany him to go shopping for several times through texting message and making phone calls. But I did not want to go with him so I did not reply him every time. As a result of this impolite behavior, he did not contact with me for a long time until I made a sincere apologize to him for that. Being polite and showing respect is the fundament ofkeeping a companionship.
What’s more,being polite to your team members during work is helpful to stimulate the passion of your coworkers. Therefore, they can accomplish their work efficiently and effectively. It is (a?) common sense that if your boss or leader is unpleasant to you, you will be depressed and unwilling to finish your work. Last summer, I had an internship in Microsoft in ShangHai. I was assigned to a camera team. Tony,my team leader, was a amicable person, every time when he assigned missions tome, he would end it up with some encourage and grateful words, for instance:thank you so much, great job. Due to his genial words, I was willing and hadpassion to finish my job. And I felt happy to work with him. Obviously, such friendly behaviors even those grateful words can have great power in certainsituation.
More over, our governmentpays great attention to structure the harmonious society in recent times. Why? Politenesscan be infectious and have reactions. Only you are polite to the people youmeet, will they be friend to you in return. As a consequence, it can reduce the violence and preserve the society stable.
Taking all theseaspects into consideration, I insist that we should be polite to others.
思路写的很棒！单词也不错！给您提两点建议 1是单词的使用上不是越难越好 恰当的才是最好的 2是句型上要再多下功夫 :-D加油吧
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-7-25 09:45
标题: 7月25日
TOPICo you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime.(7月25日110304NA)
Due to the development of science andtechnology, a great number of breakthroughs had been made to change the wholesociety even the progress of the human dramatically. For instance: the developmentof the internet enriches people’s life, the advent of the smart-phone improvesthe communication between people, the high speed transportation makes people’slives more convenient. From that perspective, some people may hold the viewthat the most important problems will be solved in our lifetime. However, in myeyes, I insist that there are still numerous of significant problems need to behandle and them will not be tackled in our lifetime. I will illustrate thereasons as following in this essay.
To begin with, as the technologydeveloping, it really solved a great number of problems which people sufferedfrom. Such as: the organic transplant saves numerous people’s lives. Nevertheless,while the technology settling old problems, new problems will come out and somemay even more severe than the previous ones. Take the nuclear energy as anexample: when people find out that nuclear energy can replace the nonrenewableenergy, such as, fossil oil, and coal. They are content with it and build nuclearpowers as possible as they can. But they ignore the problem about how tocontrol the nuclear energy appropriately. And this problem is becomingincreasingly severe nowadays. The leak of nuclear energy happened in Japan in2011 is a lesson. The nuclear power station exploded after the earthquake. Itcaused hundreds of people got infected and near twenty thousand of people haveto leave their home because of the radiation.
What’s more, technology innovations havetaken place, but the overall condition of humanity is no better. Wars, violence,and poverty are still with us. Take Syria as an example, there was a explosionhappened there several days ago. One of bodyguards exploded the bomb whichleaded the national defense administrator and several officials died in theincident. I believe technology cannot change the condition of humanity.
Taking all these aspects intoconsideration, I hold the view that although the technology developed fast andthe society changed dramatically, still there are various important issuescannot be solved in our lifetime.
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-7-26 11:15
标题: 7月26日
TOPICo you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.(7月26日101030NA )
In recently, more and more children gain knowledge by entering schools than those in earlier time.People in recent times, in other words, are easier to be educated than inthe past. There are many reasons forthat, such as more and more parents having the ability to offer their children to accesstothe college, national policy paying greater attentionto the education and a great number of universities that have been established.
To begin with, as the country is developing dayby day, more and more families are becoming affluent than before. As aresult, most of these families will require their childrento go study at schools. Take my family as an example: in thegeneration of my grandparents, most of these people did not have the chance toaccess to knowledge. The reason is that at that time the wholesociety was less affluent; a lot of the families were eventoo poor to meet their basic living requirements. Therefore, mostpeople during those decades did not receive education. Inthe generation of my father, the living condition is improved a lot; most family could afford for theirchildren to study at school. However, the level of education was still quite low. Most of them stopped further education after they graduated fromhigh school, because their parents wanted them to make money to supporttheir families. In my generation, nearly all thechildren can access to the university. More and more people go abroadfor further education. It is obvious that people are easier be educated thanbefore.
Moreover, the government pays enough attention to the education nowadays. Takemy country, China, as an illustration. In the lastseveral decades ago, our government legislated a law called 9 yearscompulsory education, which forces parents to make their children go toschool for 9 years. In other words, everyone has to graduate from highschool. Besides, a few years ago, our government had reduced thefee for the primary school in some poor regions. All these policies are aimed to let more and more people to access tothe education easier.
What’s more, in the recent decades government has established many universitiesand colleges. Now there are nearly 250 universities and a lot of colleges inthe whole country to meet the great requirement of education.
Taking all these aspects into consideration, I believe that nowadays people have easier access to education thanbefore.
作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-7-26 17:40
Due to the development of science and technology, a great number of breakthroughs had been made to change the whole society even the progress of the human（这个可以不要额，society包括了人） dramatically. For instance: the developmentof the internet enriches people’s life, the advent of the smart-phone improves the communication between people, the high speed transportation makes people’s lives more convenient. From that perspective, some people may hold the view that the most important problems will be solved in our lifetime. However, in my eyes, I insist that there are still numerous of significant problems need to be handle and them will not be tackled in our lifetime. I will illustrate the reasons as following in this essay.
To begin with, as the technology developing, it really solved a great number of problems which people suffered from. Such as: the organic transplant saves numerous people’s lives. Nevertheless,while the technology settling old problems, new problems will come out and some may even more severe than the previous ones. Take the nuclear energy as an example: when people find out that nuclear energy can replace the nonrenewable energy, such as, fossil oil, and coal. They are content with it and build nuclear power plants as possible as they can. (这个要和上句合并，不然是破碎句)But they ignore the problem about how to control the nuclear energy appropriately. And this problem is becoming increasingly severe nowadays. The leak of nuclear energy happened in Japan in2011 is a lesson. The nuclear power station exploded after the earthquake. It caused hundreds of people got infected and near twenty thousand of people have to leave their home because of the radiation.
What’s more, technology innovations have taken place, but the overall condition of humanity is no better （developed？）. Wars, violence,and poverty are still with us. Take Syria as an example, there was a explosion happened there several days ago. One of bodyguards exploded the bomb which leaded the national defense administrator and several officials died in the incident.（这里增加一个过渡的句子吧） I believe technology cannot change the condition of humanity.
Taking all these aspects into consideration, I hold the view that although the technology developed fast and the society changed dramatically, still there are various important issues cannot be solved in our lifetime.
楼主的语言和例子都很好，小处注意就好了。
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-7-27 13:44
标题: 7月27日
TOPIC:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should know the events happening around the world, even if it unlikely has some influence on your daily life.
Although people from different countriesare separated by regional boundaries, thanks to the increasingly advancedtechnology of mass media and the internet, we can access to plenty informationall over the world. Notwithstanding, parts of the information seems unrelatedto and have no influence on we individuals but we still need to be aware ofthose message. I will illustrate the reasons as following in this essay.
To begin with, having an international viewcan help you find great jobs especially to those who want to work in theinternational companies. As the increasingly number of international companiesestablish branch companies in China, it is essential for the employees to havean international view and pay attention to the information in foreign countrieseven which seems have no affect on their lives. Take me as example, last summerI was interviewed for an internship in Microsoft. During the interview, theinterviewer asked me talk about the economic crisis which happened in America. Iwas so embarrassed at that time because I had no knowledge about it. I thoughtthat was not happened in my country and was unrelated to my daily life. It isobviously, I failed in the interview. After that I realized that informing themovement of the world is becoming a basic skill for the employees especially incurrent globalized era.
What’s more, knowing the events happened inother countries can help us to handle some emergency crisis. In currentglobalized society, if some county occurs crisis, no matter in the flied ofeconomy, culture or science, it will affect other countries in a short time.Therefore, knowing the latest trends of the international affairs can help us preventthe crisis from happening and prepare measures to deal with it in advance. Takethe economic crisis happened in America in 2008 as an example. Although it was originatedin the America, it spread quick and involved nearly all of the countries. Sincemy country had a prediction of that and made some policies to protect the economyin domestic, the influence of the crisis was not severe.
Taking all these aspects into consideration, I holdthe view that even though some kinds of the global events seems have noinfluence to our daily lives, we still require to know them.
作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-7-27 21:42
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
In recently (直接用Recently就可以啦), more and more children gain knowledge by entering schools than those in earlier time.People in recent times, in other words, are easier to be educated than in the past. There are many reasons for that, such as more and more parents having(have) the ability to offer their children to access to the college, national policy paying greater attention to the education and a great number of universities that have been established.
To begin with, as the country is developing day by day, more and more families are becoming affluent than before. As aresult, most of these families will require their children to go study at schools. Take my family as an example: in thegeneration of my grandparents, most of these people did not have the chance toaccess to knowledge. The reason is that at that time the wholesociety was less affluent; a lot of the families(families) were even too poor to meet their basic living requirements. Therefore, mostpeople during those decades did not receive education. Inthe generation of my father, the living condition is improved a lot; most family could afford for their children to study at school(afford for+sth./doing sth.). However, the level of education was still quite low. Most of them stopped further education after they graduated fromhigh school, because their parents wanted them to make money to supporttheir families. In my generation, nearly all thechildren can access to the university. More and more people go abroadfor further education. It is obvious that people are easier be educated thanbefore.
LZ access用了好多次，可以换成have chance to go之类的替换一下～：）
Moreover, the government pays enough attention to the education nowadays. Takemy country, China, as an illustration. In the lastseveral decades ago, our government legislated a law called 9 yearscompulsory education, which forces parents to make their children go toschool for 9 years. In other words, everyone has to graduate from highschool. Besides, a few years ago, our government had reduced the fee for the primary school in some poor regions. All these policies are aimed(aim） to let more and more people to access to the education easier.
What’s more, in the recent decades( in recent years) government has established many universitiesand colleges. Now there are nearly 250 universities and a lot of colleges inthe whole country to meet the great requirement of education.
Taking all these aspects into consideration, I believe that nowadays people have easier access to education than before.
总的来说LZ的逻辑思路很清晰，一目了然。但有时候用词表达比较单一～～可以着重加强～～加油！！
作者: hansxiao7 时间: 2012-7-28 09:51
楼主昨天就帮我批了。。。批完了请见谅。。。Although people from different countries are separated by regional boundaries, thanks to the increasingly advanced technology of mass media and the internet, we can (get) access to plenty information all over the world. Notwithstanding, parts of the information seems unrelated to(不该有吧？） and have no influence on we individuals but we still need to be aware of those message. I will illustrate the reasons as following in this essay.
To begin with, having an international view can help you find great jobs especially to those who want to work in the(the应去掉） international companies. As the increasingly number of international companies establish branch companies in China, it is essential for the employees to have an international view and pay attention to the information in foreign countries even which seems have no affect on their lives. (这句就有点太长了。。。话说可以多分几句 多用几个连接词 还能凑字数）Take me as example, last summer I was interviewed for an internship in Microsoft. During the interview, theinterviewer asked me talk about the economic crisis which happened in America(我写的是GREECE好有缘啊 哈哈）.(这里要变两个句子） I was so embarrassed at that time because I had no knowledge about it. I thought that was not happened(不该用被动 应该是that did not happen) in my country and was unrelated to my daily life. It isobviously(把it is 去掉）, I failed in the interview. After that I realized that informing the movement of the world is becoming a basic skill for the employees especially in current globalized era.
What’s more, knowing the events happened in other countries can help us to handle some emergency crisis. In current globalized society, if some county(ies)occur crisis, no matter in the flied of economy, culture or science, it will affect other countries in a short time.Therefore, knowing the latest trends of the international affairs can help us prevent the crisis from happening and prepare measures to deal with it in advance. Take the economic (subprime crisis) crisis happened in America in 2008 as an example. Although it was originated in the America, it spread quick and involved nearly all of the countries. Sincemy country had a prediction of that and made some policies to protect the economyin domestic, the influence of the crisis was not severe.
Taking all these aspects into consideration, I holdthe view that even though some kinds of the global events seems have noinfluence to our daily lives, we still require to know them.
有些词真心不错 楼主的思路也很好。。。非常的新颖 只是注意句型 和 断句 长短句结合 这样就更好了
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-7-28 20:10
标题: 7月28日
TOPIC:Do you agree or dis agree, the way a person dressed is a good indication of his/her personality or character.
Clothes are the external appearance ofpeople. Some people pay great attention on their dressing styles aimed to leaveglorious impression to others. From this perspective, certain people hold theview that people can judge the way a person dressed to indicate his personalityand character. As far as I am concerned, however, we cannot recognize people’sindividuality simply rely on their dressing style. I will illustrate thereasons as follows in this essay.
To begin with, some kinds of people have nochoice to choose their dressing style in some circumstances because they haveto dress certain cloth style according to the regulations in some specificplaces. Take me as an example: when I was studying in my senior high school,according my school rules, we students had to wear the school uniform otherwisethe teachers would not let you enter the school. Besides, it was also forbiddento strip the school uniform in the classroom. How can people judge students’ characteristicsin this situation? Also, soldiers have to wear military uniform in the troops;policemen have to wear police uniform when they are working; assembly-workers haveto wear work uniform in the factory. It is obvious that numerous people have todress uniform because of rules. Therefore, we cannot understand their personalities.
What’s more, sometimes people’s dressingstyle has something to do with the convention instead of their own characters.For instance: in ancient China, when people holding a wedding, the bridegroomand the bride had to wear red wedding dresses since the red stood festival inthe traditional Chinese culture; when people attending funeral, all the peopleare required to wear cloth in black because black refers respectful; whilepeople participate international conference, all the attendees need to dressformal suits because of solemn.
Moreover, people’s dressing style also is influencedby their financial state rather than their own personalities. The reason isthat affluent people can buy sophisticated and glorious apparels such as Armaniand Prada. Nevertheless, some people have to buy poor quality cloth of infamousbrand. It is uncontroversial that we cannot judge that people who dress inferiorcloth have worse personalities than those who wear gorgeous garments.
Taking all these aspects intoconsideration, I believe we cannot recognize people’s characters through theirdressing style simply.
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-7-29 10:38
标题: 7月29日
TOPIC:the most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work skills of its employees
Certain companies hold the perspective thatthe most imperative investment is to cost money to improve the working skillsof their employees. However, I believe that the working skill is not the onlymost important part of a company. Code of conduct and the coordination of teamworkalso play significant roles in a company. I will illustrate the reasons asfollowing in this essay.
To begin with, code of conduct is also greatlyimportant to a company. Company should pay increasingly attention to theiremployees’ behaviors especially those who can access to the confidentialinformation of the company. It can help company to maintain a respectfulreputation. It can reduce the corruption and bribing in the company. It canprevent the company from leaking trade secret to its opponent. I took aninternship in Microsoft in ShangHai last summer. The most impressive memory itgave me is that the company attaches importance to the code of conduct ofemployees seriously. At the beginning of my job, the company forced us newinterns to finish a lesson about code of conduct online. Besides, it also helda whole day training session for us talking about the legal behaviors in thecompany. During the session, it gave out manuals about code of conduct to us. Itis obvious that if u want to develop your company, you should emphasize theaction of the employees.
What’s more, the teamwork is also anotherimportant part of a company. Employee works as a team rather than works alonein the company. Therefore, the coordination in the team members and between theteams is indispensible to an excellent company. Microsoft is developing his ownsmart-phone which uses its own chips. To produce a complete cell-phoneefficiently and effectively the company assigns a great number of teams to workon the different part of the phone, such as, a specific team for camera,another team for LED screen. As a result, the communication and coordination ofthe teams is more important than the skills of the employees.
Taking all these aspects into consideration,I believe that companies should not only focus on the skills of their employeesbut also the code of conduct and the coordination between teams.
作者: lvfengoo 时间: 2012-7-29 21:36
红色是觉得有问题的地方 高亮的是觉得好的地方 蓝色是有疑问的
Clothes arethe external appearance of people. Some people pay great attention on theirdressing styles aimed to leave（a 我见ALEX总是批单词裸奔的问题 不知对不对）glorious impression to(是不是应该是on)others. From this perspective, certain people hold the view that people can judge the way a person dressed toindicate his personality and character.（我觉得这句话有些混乱丫。Judge by the way。。。和 the way …indicate …两种逻辑结构混搭了） As far as I am concerned, however, we cannotrecognize people’s individuality simply rely（relying是分词形式吧~~） on their dressing style. I will illustrate the reasonsas follows in this essay.
To begin with, some kinds of people have no choice to choose their dressing style insome circumstances because they have to dress certain cloth style according tothe regulations in some specific places. Take me as an example: when I wasstudying in my senior high school, according my school rules, we students hadto wear the school uniform otherwise the teachers would not let you enter theschool. Besides, it was also forbidden to strip the school uniform in theclassroom. How can people judge students’ characteristics in this situation? Also,soldiers have to wear military uniform in the troops; policemen have to wearpolice uniform when they are working; assembly-workers(是装配工人的意思么？) have to wearwork uniform in the factory. It is obvious that numerous people have to dressuniform because of rules. Therefore, we cannot understand their personalities.（真心觉得你的这个思路比我好很多呢我木有想到很多的职业必须穿制服这点 ）
What’s more, sometimes people’s dressing stylehas something to do with the convention instead of their own characters. Forinstance: in ancient China, when people holding（holded吧when引导的时间状语从句） a wedding, the bridegroom and the bride had to wear redwedding dresses since the red stood (是不是缺少for呢) festival in the traditional Chinese culture;when people attending（attended）(a名词裸奔？) funeral, allthe people are（were你说的是在古代中国吧） required to wear cloth in black because black refers respectful（这个怎么解释呢refer是取得那个意思呀？可以不用refer …to..结构嚒？）; while people participate（participated我感觉应该是过去式呢，和上面一样）(an)international conference, all the attendees need to dress formal suits becauseof solemn(solemnity?名词吧).
Moreover, people’s dressing style also isinfluenced by their financial state rather than their own personalities. Thereason is that affluent people can buy sophisticated and glorious apparels suchas Armani and Prada. Nevertheless, some people have to buy poor quality cloth of in famous brand（是Of famous brand嚒？）. It is uncontroversial that we cannot judge that peoplewho dress inferior cloth have worse personalities than those who wear gorgeous garments（这个词很好呢）.
Taking all these aspects into consideration, Ibelieve we cannot recognize people’s characters through their dressing style simply（这个是不是应该放在recognize前面呢？）.
作者: lvfengoo 时间: 2012-7-29 21:37
针对7月28号的
红色是觉得有问题的地方 高亮的是觉得好的地方 蓝色是有疑问的
Clothes arethe external appearance of people. Some people pay great attention on theirdressing styles aimed to leave（a 我见ALEX总是批单词裸奔的问题 不知对不对）glorious impression to(是不是应该是on)others. From this perspective, certain people hold the view that people can judge the way a person dressed toindicate his personality and character.（我觉得这句话有些混乱丫。Judge by the way。。。和 the way …indicate …两种逻辑结构混搭了） As far as I am concerned, however, we cannotrecognize people’s individuality simply rely（relying是分词形式吧~~） on their dressing style. I will illustrate the reasonsas follows in this essay.
To begin with, some kinds of people have no choice to choose their dressing style insome circumstances because they have to dress certain cloth style according tothe regulations in some specific places. Take me as an example: when I wasstudying in my senior high school, according my school rules, we students hadto wear the school uniform otherwise the teachers would not let you enter theschool. Besides, it was also forbidden to strip the school uniform in theclassroom. How can people judge students’ characteristics in this situation? Also,soldiers have to wear military uniform in the troops; policemen have to wearpolice uniform when they are working; assembly-workers(是装配工人的意思么？) have to wearwork uniform in the factory. It is obvious that numerous people have to dressuniform because of rules. Therefore, we cannot understand their personalities.（真心觉得你的这个思路比我好很多呢我木有想到很多的职业必须穿制服这点 ）
What’s more, sometimes people’s dressing stylehas something to do with the convention instead of their own characters. Forinstance: in ancient China, when people holding（holded吧when引导的时间状语从句） a wedding, the bridegroom and the bride had to wear redwedding dresses since the red stood (是不是缺少for呢) festival in the traditional Chinese culture;when people attending（attended）(a名词裸奔？) funeral, allthe people are（were你说的是在古代中国吧） required to wear cloth in black because black refers respectful（这个怎么解释呢refer是取得那个意思呀？可以不用refer …to..结构嚒？）; while people participate（participated我感觉应该是过去式呢，和上面一样）(an)international conference, all the attendees need to dress formal suits becauseof solemn(solemnity?名词吧).
Moreover, people’s dressing style also isinfluenced by their financial state rather than their own personalities. Thereason is that affluent people can buy sophisticated and glorious apparels suchas Armani and Prada. Nevertheless, some people have to buy poor quality cloth of in famous brand（是Of famous brand嚒？）. It is uncontroversial that we cannot judge that peoplewho dress inferior cloth have worse personalities than those who wear gorgeous garments（这个词很好呢）.
Taking all these aspects into consideration, Ibelieve we cannot recognize people’s characters through their dressing style simply（这个是不是应该放在recognize前面呢？）.
作者: pinkyhuayin 时间: 2012-7-30 15:40
7月29日
TOPIC:the most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work skills of its employees
Certain companies hold the perspective thatthe most imperative investment is to cost money to improve the working skillsof their employees. However, I believe that the working skill is not the onlymost important part of a company. Code of conduct and the coordination of teamworkalso play significant roles in a company. I will illustrate the reasons asfollowing in this essay.
To begin with, code of conduct is also greatlyimportant to a company. Company should pay increasingly attention to theiremployees’ behaviors especially those who can access to the confidentialinformation of the company. It can help company to maintain a respectfulreputation. It can reduce the corruption and bribing in the company. It canprevent the company from leaking trade secret to its opponent. I took aninternship in Microsoft in ShangHai last summer. The most impressive memory itgave me is that the company attaches importance to the code of conduct ofemployees seriously. At the beginning of my job, the company forced us newinterns to finish a lesson about code of conduct online. Besides, it also helda whole day training session for us talking about the legal behaviors in thecompany. During the session, it gave out manuals about code of conduct to us. besides, a whole day training session told us the legal behaviors and we got manuals about code of conduct for further study after the training. Itis obvious that if u want to develop your company, you should emphasize theaction of the employees.这段总的写的不错，没有大问题。就是句式可以在多变写 it 用的太多，读起来有些单调。
What’s more, the teamwork is also anotherimportant part of a company. Employee works as a team member rather than works alone loner in the company. Therefore, the coordination in the team members and between theteams is indispensible to an excellent company. Microsoft is developing his ownsmart-phone which uses its own chips.这两个指代应该是一个吧，要一致 To produce a complete cell-phoneefficiently and effectively the company assigns a great number of teams to workon the different part of the phone, such as,这里的such as 举例有问题 .建议改成e.g. a specific team in the charge of for camera,another team for LED screen. As a result, the communication and coordination ofthe teams is more important than the skills of the employees.
Taking all these aspects into consideration,I believe that companies should not only focus on the skills of their employeesbut also the code of conduct and the coordination between teams. 本来是一致强调 cc 比较重要，但是结尾，又和skill 并列了，有些突兀。建议楼主结尾处，也下点功夫，做个漂亮的收尾。
三十分钟在考场上写这样也算不错啦，不过还有可以提升的空间，楼主加油↖(^ω^)↗
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-7-30 17:11
标题: 7月30日
TOPIC:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy and less satisfied than people in the past
As the science and technology developing byleaps and bounds with each passing year, a great number of breakthroughs have tookplace and change the world dramatically. For instance: the internet enrichespeople’s lives; the organic transplant makes people live longer; the high speedtransportation leads us convenient lives. From this perspective, several peoplehold the view that people feel more satisfied than those in past. However, I believethat, nowadays, people lead less happy lives compared with the elders to someextent. I will illustrate the reasons as follows in this essay.
To begin with, although the development ofthe science and technology accelerate the progress of the whole societysubstantially, it also raises some new issues during the process. The mostsevere problem is the pollution of the environment such as: the increasingly exhaustedgas in the air; the increasingly acute congestion on the road; the increasinglypoor quality of water. How can people live comfortable lives in such situation?When I was a kid, I always swan with my friends in the river near my house. Thewater is clear at that time. After a large factory which manufactures paperestablished in the upper reaches of the river, the quality of the water wasbecoming terrible day by day. Now, even fishes are unwilling to swim in thatriver! The river is filled with rubbish and industrial effluents and gives outfoul smell especially in the summer which disturbs us a lot.
What’s more, some of the revolutionary technologyseem benefit the society ostensibly, but, in essence, its drawbacks are outweighits advantages. Take the assemble-line manufacture as an example. Granted itimproves the efficiency of the factories and stimulate the economy of the society.On the other hand, it results in a numerous of nuisances. The less cost andefficient assemble-line replace the positions of the manual worker. As a result,lots of workers loss their jobs. In addition, it also renders us become theslavers to the machines. The Foxconn, one famous foundry in China, is a typicalrepresentation. There are 10 people jumped from a building in succession in2011 because of the above reasons.
Taking all these aspects intoconsideration, I believe that current people are less happy and lass satisfiedthen those in the past.
作者: hjl80959 时间: 2012-7-31 09:07
TOPIC:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy and less satisfied than people in the past
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
As the science and technology developing byleaps(这是准备用什么，不过这个单词我是没查到) and bounds with each passing year, a great number of breakthroughs have tookplace（taken place）and change（changed） the world dramatically. For instance: the internet enrichespeople’s lives（空格）; the organic transplant makes people live longer; the high speedtransportation（high—speed transportation）leads（brings） us convenient lives. From this perspective, several peoplehold （空格）the view that people feel more satisfied than those in past. However, I believethat（that 去掉吧，要不就空格，最好去掉）, nowadays, people lead less happy lives compared with the elders to someextent(空格). I will illustrate the reasons as follows in this essay.
第一段写的很好，通过例子来说明，是一件很好的事情，不知道你下面准备是展开反证还是用新的例子，如果是后者我不得不佩服丰富的想象力了。By the way, space between the words is important.可能是打得太快的缘故，不过这个问题下面我看了一下还是很多，我就只是指出，不再说明空格了，只是修改后加红字因为太多了。。。。
To begin with, although the development ofthe （of the）science and technology accelerate（acclerates） the progress of the whole society substantially, it also raises some new issues during the process. The mostsevere （severest）problem is the pollution of the environment such as: the increasingly exhausted gas in the air; the increasingly（miserably） acute congestion on the road（道路阻塞不算污染吧？）; the increasingly（irresistibly）poor quality of water.并列的句子的确很精彩，但是increasingly用了三遍就不太好了 How can people live comfortable lives in such situation?When I was a kid, I always swan with my friends in the river near my house. Thewater is clear（was） at that time. After a large factory which manufactures paper established in the upper reaches of the river, the quality of the water wasbecoming terrible day by day（the smell (condition)of the water was becoming offensive day by day quality出现的次数太多了）. Now, even fishes are unwilling to swim in that river! The river is filled with rubbish and industrial effluents and gives out foul smell especially in the summer which disturbs us a lot.
Hence, in this point the issues, along with the development, bring out the satisfactory consequence.
What’s more, some of the revolutionary technology seems (to) benefit the society ostensibly, but, in essence, its drawbacks are (删去)outweighits advantages. Take the assemble-line manufacture as an example. Granted it improves the efficiency of the factories and stimulates the economy of the society.On the other hand, it results in a numerous of nuisances. The less cost and efficient assemble-line replace the positions of the manual worker. As a result,lots of workers loss loses their jobs. In addition, it also renders us become the slavers to the machines（it compels us to be slavers to the machines）. (连词两个例子过渡太生硬)The Foxconn, one famous foundry in China, is a typical representation. There are 10 people jumped from a building in succession in2011 because of the above reasons. （there have been ）
Taking all these aspects into consideration, I believe that current people are less happy and less satisfied than those in the past.
文章总体思路相当不错，如果不出现以上错误注入空格等，应该是篇很好的文章，但是我觉得缺点在于写得不是很深入，让人读完了觉得有点懂又或不懂，作者推理是这样的现在的污染和缺点多与过去所以人们不快乐，问题是为什么这样的推理正确，作者们没有把这个链条连接好，事实证明很充分，但推论结果似乎有点无力了。
作者: hjl80959 时间: 2012-7-31 09:12
还有那篇文章，不知道你是什么感受，是还行一般，还是很水？我需要个准话。。。
那个复数前面是不需要加the么？不强调的话？加的话有什么问题？
那个模板是不太好么？生硬了？
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-7-31 15:33
还有那篇文章，不知道你是什么感受，是还行一般，还是很水？我需要个准话。。。
那个复数前面是不需要加the么？不强调的话？加的话有什么问题？
那个模板是不太好么？生硬了？
-- by 会员 hjl80959 (2012/7/31 9:12:47)
我觉得中等吧.
the用在单数名词前表示一类人或物
例如: the graduate--指毕业生这类人; 你也可以用these graduates. 但是我没有看到有用the graduates的...
个人认为你那个模板不是很好.特别是结尾段,赶脚有点狗血...
用模板是不会有高分的,孩子.
不过你模板里有些词却是很精彩的.
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-7-31 21:56
标题: 7月31日
TOPIC:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is impossible to be completely honest with your friend.
It is undisputed that honest is the fundamentof making true friends. Only being honest to our friends can we receive respectand help from them. From this perspective, several people hold the view that weshould be completely honest with our friends. However, I am not in favor ofthat. I believe white lies outweigh telling the truth to some extent. I willillustrate the reasons as follows in this essay.
To begin with, sometimes dishonest withfriends can be benefit to your friends while they are complete their dreams. Takemy friend Mark as an example: Mark is a fat boy. He spares no effort to keepfit through every method in his spare time. Last summer, he became a membershipof a fitness club. He kept doing exercise in the club for two hours every day duringthat session. In addition, he was confident that he would lose some weights afterthat. One day I met him on the road while he was taking his way to the club andhe asked me whether he looked slimmer. Although, in my perspective, he wasstill fat as before, I answered yes. How could I answer this question? Told himthe truth and aborted his confidence? Of course not. It is obvious that cheatingto friends in some certain circumstances will not hurt their feelings and depressthem.
What’s more, sometimes dishonest withfriends can prevent the situation from becoming worse. Only in this way canpeople concentrate on the more important events. Take my friend Corry as anillustration. His parents and friends, including me, concealed the fact thathis grandmother passed away before he took the college entrance examination. Therefore,he could put all his energy on preparing the exam without anything disturbedhim. Since we were afraid he would be so sorrow that could not prepare theexams well after hearing the news. In such emergency condition, it is necessaryto make a deception.
Taking all these aspects intoconsideration, I believe we are not required to be completely honest with ourfriends all the time.
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-1 18:47
标题: 8月1日
TOPIC:If you need to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, you will use e-mail or text messaging，OR use the telephone or voice-messaging
When emergency problems occur, severalpeople prefer to communicate with each other through e-mail or text message,since they can have enough time to organize their language. However, under suchcircumstances, I believe using telephone or voice-messaging is more convenient.It is better to use these methods to reduce the misunderstandings, get thefeedback immediately and enhance the communication.
To begin with, compared with text messageand e-mails, people can explain their perspectives more clearly to another by usingphone calls and voice-message while they are discussing problems. As a result,it can avoid misunderstandings. Take me as an example: last summer, I took aninternship in Microsoft in Shanghai. One day, Tony, my team leader, sent me an emailto assign me a couple of work. However, the email was full of abbreviations andacronyms which confused me a lot because I was not familiar with them. And itis impossible to ask these acronyms one by one through the email. Therefore, I madea phone call to ask my leader to clarify these words. When you are discussingcomplex problems with another, it is convenient to use telephone orvoice-messages. Because you can ask another immediately in order to dwindle misunderstandings,when you encounter questions.
What’s more, using telephones andvoice-messages you can get response as soon as possible and you cannot enjoysuch luxury while you employ text-message to communicate. The reason is thatpeople will not check their mail box every minute. And it is a common sensethat the rings of text-message are quite shorter than the phone calls. As aresult, people may often disregard the text-message especially when there are occupied.Take my friend Mark as an example: last weekend he and I decided to watch a moviein the cinema of my town. He asked me to send him a message before I departedhome. And I did what he asked but he did not replied to me. I thought he had seenthe message. I waited him in the cinema for a long time and eventually made aphone call to him. Afterward, he said that he did not notice the message. Nevertheless,such situations will not occur if you make a phone call. Nearly all the peoplewill abort their work in their hand to answer the calls.
Moreover, using voice-messages and phonecalls can improve the communication between people. People can gain extra informationon account of the talking manners, pronunciation and intonation during thetalking session. For instance: A loud and strong voice indicates that person isimpatient and rude; A slow and soft voice, on the contrary, demonstrates theperson is gentle; A low and pausal voice states the person is helpless.
Taking all these aspects intoconsideration, I believe we should use the telephone or voice-messages tocommunicate especially when emergency and controversial issues occur.
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-2 18:39
标题: 8月2日
TOPIC:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?It is often nota goodthing to move to a new city or a new country because of the lose of old friends
As the science and technology developing byleaps and bounds with each passing year, the high speed transportation makes itpossible that people can move to a new city conveniently instead of living inone place forever. The consequence is that we cannot meet with our old friends faceto face frequently. From this perspective, certain people hold the view that itis not a good thing to move to a new country since we will lose old friends.However, I am not in favor of this opinion, believing that telephone and highquality of transportation can eliminate this problem. In addition, we also canmake new friends in the new city.
To begin with, using cell-phone you can contactto your friends wherever you are and whenever you want. Thanks to the prevalentusage of telephone and the worldwide distribution of the network, you can makea phone call or sent a text-message to your friends no matter how far yourfriends are when you miss them. Take me as an example: I attended the Zhejiang Universityof Technology in Hangzhou two years ago while Mark, my best friend, entered theBeijing Language and Culture University. At the beginning of that time, I missedhim so much but because of the long distance we cannot meet with each otherconstantly. Therefore, we would make phone calls in the weekend when we werefree. We would share the affairs occurred around us. Actually, our friendship wasstrengthened by the cell-phone rather than impeded by the far distance. Throughthe media of telephone, people will not lose old friends due to the distance.
What’s more, with the high developedtransportation, people can go the cities where their friends live in fast and conveniently.In recently, our government stresses great importance to the development of theinfrastructure of transportation such as, developing high-speed trains, constructingairports, and improving highways. Thanks to the high-speed rail, it saves meapproximately one hour to go back home compared with taking a bus which willcosts me one and half an hour. As a result, I can go home easily to meet myfriends face to face when I want to. For this reason, distance is not a problemto hinder your companionship any more
Moreover, moving to a new city provides youthe chance to meet new people and establish new friendships with them. It is acommon sense that many people, including your friends, will depart from you onaccount of many kinds of reasons in your lifetime. Hence, you should consortnew companies. Besides, according to the new friends you made in the newenvironment, you can learn the local tradition and culture and enrich yourlife.
Taking all these aspects intoconsideration, I believe that long distance will not exert bad influence overyour fellowship and it is nor bad to move to a new city.
作者: hjl80959 时间: 2012-8-3 08:39
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
As the science and technology developing byleaps (这个是我上次就没明白的算了，你也没解释)and bounds with each passing year, the high speed transportation makes it possible that people can move to a new city conveniently instead of living in one place forever. The consequence is that we cannot meet with our old friends face to face frequently. From this perspective, certain people hold the view that it is not a good thing to move to a new country since we will lose old friends. However, I am not in favor of this opinion, believing that telephone and high quality of transportation can eliminate this problem. In addition, we also can make new friends in the new city.
还是空格的问题，下面我就不标记了直接帮你改了
To begin with, using cell-phone you can contact to your friends wherever you are and whenever you want. Thanks to the prevalent usage of telephone and the worldwide distribution of the network, you can makea phone call or sent a text-message to your friends no matter how far your friends are when you miss them. Take me as an example: I attended the Zhejiang University of Technology in Hangzhou two years ago while Mark, my best friend, entered the Beijing Language and Culture University. At the beginning of that time, I missed him so much but because of the long distance（by the limitation of great distance 这种组合有点多了） we cannot meet with each other constantly. Therefore, we would make phone calls in the weekend when we were free. We would share the affairs occurred around us. Actually, our friendship was strengthened by the cell-phone rather than impeded by the far distance. Through the media of telephone, people will not lose old friends due to the distance.
(分总的形式让人开始觉得会是这个说理不太明确吧，我的第一感觉这一段那个四选一的controversial topic 也可以用，还是总起一句吧)
What’s more, with the high developed transportation, people can go the cities where their friends live in fast and conveniently. In recently, our government stresses great importance to the development of the infrastructure of transportation such as, (such as 逗号的在前面)developing high-speed trains, constructing airports, and improving highways. Thanks to the high-speed rail, it saves me approximately one hour to go back home compared with taking a bus which will costs me one and half an hour（多余了有点罗嗦的感觉）. As a result, I can go home easily to meet my friends face to face when I want to（it’s convenient for to be back home by reserving a ticket 这样或许好一点太白话了）. For this reason, distance is not a problem to hinder your companionship any more
没什么好说的观点例子都有很好～
Moreover, moving to a new city provides you the chance to meet new people and establish new friendships with them. It is a（删去）common sense that many people, including your friends, will depart from you on account of many kinds of reasons in your lifetime. Hence, you should consort new companies. Besides, according to the new friends you made in the new environment, you can learn the local tradition and culture and enrich your life.
Taking all these aspects into consideration, I believe that long distance will not exert bad influence over your fellowship and it is nor bad to move to a new city.
整体写的很好～我觉得如果吧句子很好的修饰一下可以成为很好的范文了。还是打字空格的问题
词汇很高级用的，不过有的时候简单句过多了。
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-3 14:51
标题: 8月3日
TOPIC:Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently
In currently,more and more parents focus their attention on the education of theirchildren. As a result, some of the parents help their children to do homeworkin order to gain a outstanding performance. Some of them may encourage theirchildren to deal with it independently. As far as I am concerned, I am in favorof the latter method. I will illustrate the following reason in thisessay.
To begin with, encouraging children to cope with their homework by themselvescan improve their independent thinking and the ability to solve problems. Asthey resolve problems without others’ help, they have to think ways to handlethem on their own. As such experience increases, young children will becomeindependent day by day. Take me as an example; my father always taught meto do schoolwork independently. Last semester, my java (a programming language)teacher assigned each of us an assignment which required us to program softwareindependently. Thanks to the experience of dealing with events alone, I completedthe program out with high quality and quickly. But some of myclassmates were suffering from this assignment. Therefore, I believeworking independently without parents’ help can enhance the capacity tosolve problems.
What is more, encouraging children to doing their homework alone can maketeachers’ instruction better. Only in this way can the homework reflect thetrue level and determine whether the students absorb the knowledge imparted bythe lectures. For example, my high school English teacher will make a record ofmistakes which we had made during the homework before. And require us reviewthese mistakes frequently aiming to avoid such mistakes in the future. Ifparents help their children to do their homework, this action is useless andmeaningless.
Granted,helping kids to accomplish their homework has several advantages. It canenhance the efficiency of doing homework. For instance, parents can givechildren some ideas when they are impeded by a difficult question. However, ithas drawbacks since some students may cultivate the habit that once encounter aproblem, seems difficult, they will turn to their parents for help in the firstplace rather than trying to solve it by themselves.
Taking all these aspects into consideration, I am in favor of encouraging youngkids to do their homework on their own. The reason is conspicuous inthat it will benefit the independent thinking of students, as well as theteaching process.
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-3 14:52
标题: 8月3日(TPO1)
TPO1
In the lecture, the professor makes some points about thatworkers work for four days instead of five days and willing accept less salarythan before, weather will accelerate the economy as a whole as well as theindividual companies or not. The professor arguesthat it will deteriorate to the companies and the society. However, the reading contends that this policy willbenefit the economy and the companies. The professor’slecture casts doubt on the reading with several points.
The first point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the readingis thatcompanies are forced to spent more money if they allow their workers to workfour days. According to the professor, employershave to employ more employees, therefore, they should spent more money on the trainingand medical fees as well as the office space and the facilities such as,computer, hence the profits of the companies will be descended. It differs from the reading in that the reading statesthat the staffs will be rested and alert, therefore they will make less errors.
Another point that the professor uses to casts doubt on the readingis ithas nothing to do with the increase of the employment.The professor claims that the hiring will be costly, besides, the expectationof the workers recruited the companies will be harsh. Because the corporationswould expect workers to do the equal amount of the work which will be accomplishedin five days before, in four days now. However, thereading states that the employees will becoming fewer over worked andless error-prone which results in the increase of the profit.
Finally, the professor states that, on the contrary of the reading, itmay aggrandize some risks of the workers. In otherwords, the ability of workers will be decreased, they may lose theirjobs, and they may not be promoted, since companies like the people who workfor five days. This directly contradicts what thereading passage indicates. It says the policy will improve the qualityof their lives.
作者: lemonyhu 时间: 2012-8-4 00:33
In currently, more and more parents focus their attention on the education of their children. As a result, some of the parents (个人觉得some parents 就够了，更简洁清楚)help their children to do homework in order to gain a outstanding performance（这句话主语是parents，而这个gain a outstanding performance是针对children的）. Some of them（Others既跟前一句分开同时更能突显出来） may encourage their children to deal with it independently. As far as I am concerned, I am in favor of the latter method. I will illustrate the following reasons in thisessay.
To begin with, encouraging children to cope with their homework by themselvescan improve their independent thinking and the（their） ability to solve problems. Asthey resolve problems without others’ help, they have to think ways（come up with solutions） to handlethem on their own. As such experience increases, young children will becomeindependent day by day.(相连接的两句如果用一样的句式感觉有些重复了，并且第一句我读的有点怪~也可能是我的问题) Take me as an example; my father always taught （tells）meto do schoolwork independently. Last semester, my java (a programming language)teacher assigned each of us an assignment which required us to program softwareindependently. Thanks to the experience of dealing with (such?) events alone, I completed the program out with high quality and quickly. But some of myclassmates were suffering from this assignment. Therefore, I believeworking independently without parents’ help can enhance the capacity tosolve problems.
What is more, encouraging children to doing(do) their homework alone can maketeachers’ instruction better. Only in this way can the homework reflect thetrue level and determine whether the students absorb the knowledge imparted bythe lectures. For example, my high school English teacher will (would)make a record ofmistakes which we had made during the homework before. And( 这句不是独立的句子呢) require us to reviewthese mistakes frequently aiming to avoid such mistakes in the future. Ifparents help their children to do（help sb. do sth.）their homework, this action is useless andmeaningless.
Granted,helping kids to accomplish their homework has several advantages. It canenhance the efficiency of doing homework. For instance, parents can givechildren(give 这种词感觉太简单了，用provide with 是不是更好呢) some ideas when they are impeded by a difficult question. However, ithas drawbacks since some students may cultivate the habit that once encounter aproblem, seems difficult, they will turn to their parents for help in the firstplace rather than trying to solve it by themselves.（首先三单的问题有几处不太统一，they指向不明确）
Taking all these aspects into consideration, I am in favor of encouraging youngkids to do their homework on their own. The reason is conspicuous inthat it will benefit the independent thinking of students, as well as theteaching process
以下纯属个人见解，如果有觉得不妥的地方可以咱俩讨论讨论啊~
1、不知道是故意的还是忘记了，亲爱的你经常不打两个词之间的空格呢，这样的习惯我觉得需要平时注意~毕竟上场更紧张的~如果是故意的就当我没说啦~
2、中间三段都用ing的形式开头觉得有点单调，可以尝试一下换换句型，比如there is no doubt 啊~by doing。。。。啊~~
3、还有文章里有一些小的错误，比如时态啊、语态啊之类的，平时注意一下就成~
4、对于简单词汇的问题我觉得需要LZ背一些替换词之类的，看着高级，但是有些不必要的复杂句反而会让人看的有点不知道在说什么，从句也不用太长，个人感觉。
作者: Crystal119 时间: 2012-8-4 13:41
In the lecture, the professor makes some points about that workers work for four days instead of five days and willing accept
less（改成lower是不是好一些呢？） salary than before, weather（是不是应该是whether呀） will accelerate the economy as a whole
as well as the individual companies or not.（这一句好像表述得不太清楚，） The professor argues that it will deteriorate to （
deteriorate可以是vi，这里的to应该不用加）the companies and the society. However, the reading contends that this policy will
benefit the economy and the companies. The professor’slecture casts doubt on the reading with several points.
The first point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading is that companies are forced to spent more money if they
allow their workers to work four days. According to the professor, employers have to employ more employees, therefore, they
should spent more money on the training and medical fees as well as the office space and the facilities such as,computer,
hence the profits of the companies will be descended（应该为主动descend，descended是继承的意思）. It differs from the reading
in that the reading states that the staffs will be rested and alert, therefore they will make less errors.（It differs from
the reading in which states that blablabla...）
Another point that the professor uses to casts(cast) doubt on the reading is it(指代的是？) has nothing to do with the
increase of the employment.The professor claims that the hiring will be costly, besides, the expectation of the workers
recruited the companies will be harsh（the companies' expectations of the workers recruited will be harsh）. Because the
corporations would expect workers to do the equal amount of the work which will be accomplished in five days before, in four
days now(expect workers to accomplish the equal amount of the work in four days now instead of five days before). However,
the reading states that the employees will becoming(become) fewer over worked(这个地方好像有点问题，但是因为我还没下载完TPO，
所以不知道怎么改) and less error-prone which results in the increase of the profit.
Finally, the professor states that, on the contrary of the reading, it may aggrandize some risks of the workers. In other
words, the ability of workers will be decreased, they may lose their jobs, and they may not be promoted, since companies like
the people who work for five days. This directly contradicts what the reading passage indicates. It says the policy will
improve the quality of their lives.
真的有些词之间没有空格哟，如果是无意的就注意下啦。
很抱歉这么晚才给你改作文，因为一直在等着TPO的下载完成，结果到现在都没下来，我是参考了反问给你改的，不足之处请见谅啊。
有些动词后面加不加S可以小注意一下，
有些句子虽然读下去可以读懂，但是语法上或者流畅度上有些欠缺，我猜想是不是可以看看长难句什么的模仿一下，多总结一下，就可以写出既不冗长而又表意清楚地句子啦，我在这方面也很欠缺的，一起加油吧
还有就是我看反问最后貌似还是肯定了一下reading的，范文是这样的，貌似还可以增加字数：
Finally, the lecturer argues that under the new policy, employees will experience not only decreased quality of life (as shorter working hours will translate into less pay), but also fewer chances to be promoted to supervisory positions. However, the reading passage contends that more leisure hours can create opportunities to strengthen family ties and allow employees to develop private interests, making them feel more satisfied with their lives.
我TPO不知道能不能按时下下来，如果作业发布时还没看到的话那就是没有成功啦，第一次改作文，多多指教啊~
作者: Crystal119 时间: 2012-8-4 13:42
因为机子有些问题，用不了WORD，所以阅读上会给你造成不便，不好意思啊
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-4 20:24
标题: 8月4日
TOPIC:For future career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school
It is undisputed that some students believethat attending famous university and studying hard in schools play a significantrole in their careers in the future. Since, they deem if they are outstandingin study, they will also be succeeded in their career. However, I hold the viewthat, although studying hard can make a difference in the people’s futurecareers, relating well with others is more important than hard-working. I willillustrate the following reasons in this essay.
To begin with, the ability of maintaining agood relationship with other during the work is a fundament request of acompany. Because, recently, more and more companies are tilting for teamwork especiallywhen deal with big projects on account for the efficiency and effectiveness.Take my own experience as an example: I took an internship in Microsoft inShanghai last summer. I was assigned into the smart-phone team where is developingits own smart-phone using its own chips. To produce a complete cell-phoneefficiently and effectively the company assigns a great number of teams to workon the different part of the phone, such as, a specific team for camera,another team for LCD screen. After the three month of the intern, I realize thatthe ability of relating others will and the coordination in the team members areindispensible to an excellent employee.
What’s more, having a great relationshipwith your co-workers can be useful when you encounter problems during the work.It is undeniable that if you have a harmonious companionship with your partner,he is willing to help you when you need. I am so lucky that I have such anenthusiastic co-worker Corry who will give me a hand when I meet problems whichI cannot handle on my own. For instance: when I cannot find tiny bugs of a sessionof code, he will help me to find it out. Every time when I ask him how toreward him, he just says: “we are brother.” hence, consorting with others canmake your work become easier.
Moreover, most of the occupations do notrequire the knowledge imparted by teachers in schools.For instance, it is impossible that all thestudents, whose major is astronomy, cannot take jobs in the astronomical observatoryor be a professor in schools. Most of them have to get jobs which have norelative to their professional knowledge. As a result, hard-working in studyand having high performance do not make sense while they are working.
Taking all these aspects intoconsideration, I believe that people should stress great importance on relatingwell with others rather than studying hard simply in schools so as to be successin the future work.
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-4 20:27
TO 批作业的亲:
因为我在word上些的,写了在复制粘贴上来的,所以会出现没有空格的情况~
请忽略木有空格哈...
作者: lemonyhu 时间: 2012-8-4 21:28
也谢谢你哈哈~~~
其实这篇是之前写的现在状态不好~~一起加油啦~~~
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-5 21:27
标题: 8月5日(综合)
TPO3:
In the lecture, the professor makes severalpoints about whether the painting was draw by Rembrandt. The professor arguesthe painting was painted by Rembrandt. However, the reading contends that thereare several problems with the painting, so it may be not painted by him. Theprofessor’s lecture casts doubt on the reading with several points.
The first point that the professor uses tocast doubt on the reading is that the luxurious fur collar is added on theoriginal painting by other people hundreds years later. According to theprofessor, the reason why people do so is that people wanted to let it lookslike a formal portrait lady. It differs from the reading in that the reading statesthere is something inconsistent about the way of the woman dressed since thehat the woman dressed indicates her is a servant, therefore she could notafford the fur collar.
Another point that the professor uses tocasts doubt on the reading is the elements of light and shadow are supposed tobe realistic. The professor claims that the collar is added by people in thelater hundred years but before that its color is light, as a consequence, itcan reflect the light and illuminate the face. However, the reading states theblack fur collar would absorb the light rather than reflect it. Thus, the faceshould appear partially in shadow.
Finally, the professor states that, on thecontrary of the reading, the painting was painted on one panel. In other words,the person who added the fur collar enlarged the panel. Besides, researchersfind that the material of the original panel is as same as another painting ofRembrant(his self portrait with hat). This directly contradicts what thereading passage indicates that this painting panel is consist of several piecesof wood glued together rather than only one panel as usual as Rembrant painted.
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-5 21:27
标题: 8月5日(综合)
TPO3:
In the lecture, the professor makes severalpoints about whether the painting was draw by Rembrandt. The professor arguesthe painting was painted by Rembrandt. However, the reading contends that thereare several problems with the painting, so it may be not painted by him. Theprofessor’s lecture casts doubt on the reading with several points.
The first point that the professor uses tocast doubt on the reading is that the luxurious fur collar is added on theoriginal painting by other people hundreds years later. According to theprofessor, the reason why people do so is that people wanted to let it lookslike a formal portrait lady. It differs from the reading in that the reading statesthere is something inconsistent about the way of the woman dressed since thehat the woman dressed indicates her is a servant, therefore she could notafford the fur collar.
Another point that the professor uses tocasts doubt on the reading is the elements of light and shadow are supposed tobe realistic. The professor claims that the collar is added by people in thelater hundred years but before that its color is light, as a consequence, itcan reflect the light and illuminate the face. However, the reading states theblack fur collar would absorb the light rather than reflect it. Thus, the faceshould appear partially in shadow.
Finally, the professor states that, on thecontrary of the reading, the painting was painted on one panel. In other words,the person who added the fur collar enlarged the panel. Besides, researchersfind that the material of the original panel is as same as another painting ofRembrant(his self portrait with hat). This directly contradicts what thereading passage indicates that this painting panel is consist of several piecesof wood glued together rather than only one panel as usual as Rembrant painted.
作者: guoyang88 时间: 2012-8-5 21:29
TOPIC:For future career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school
It is undisputed that some students believethat attending famous university and studying
hard in schools play a significantrole in their careers in the future.【Students的想法是客观存在 可以换掉It is undisputed that的说法】 Since, they deem if they are outstanding in study, they will also be succeeded in their
career. However, I hold the viewthat, although studying hard can make a difference
in the 【删掉the】people’s futurecareers, relating well with others is more important than hard-working. I willillustrate the following reasons in this essay.
To begin with, the ability of maintaining a good relationship with other during
the work is a fundament [fundament ['f?nd?m(?)nt] n. 基础；臀部；肛门
essential]request of acompany. Because, recently, more and more 【an increasing number of 】 companies are tilting for teamwork especiallywhen deal [dealing ]with big projects on account for the efficiency and effectiveness.Take my own experience as an example: I took an internship in Microsoft inShanghai last summer. I was assigned into the smart-phone team where is developingits own smart-phone using its own chips. To produce a complete cell-phoneefficiently and effectively the company assigns a great number of teams to workon the different part of the phone, such as, a specific team for camera,another team for LCD screen. [前面这两句和论点关系不深 有点跑题] After the three month of the intern, I realize thatthe ability of relating others will and the coordination in the team members are indispensible[indispensable] to an excellent employee.What’s more, having a great relationshipwith your co-workers can be useful when you encounter problems during the work.It is undeniable that if you have a harmonious companionship with your partner,he is willing to help you when you need. I am so lucky that I have such anenthusiastic co-worker Corry who will give me a hand when I meet problems which I cannot handle on my own. For instance: when I cannot find tiny bugs of a session of code, he will help me to [assist me in] find it out. Every time when I ask him how to reward him, he just says: “we are brother.” hence, consorting with others canmake your work become easier.Moreover, most of the occupations do not require the knowledge imparted by teachers in schools[at school].For instance, it is impossible that all the students, whose major is [majors are] astronomy, cannot take jobs in the astronomical observatory or be a professor in schools[in school=在求学。 这里是at school]. Most of them have to get jobs which have no relative to their professional knowledge. As a result, hard-working [hard-work adj. 勤勉的 形容词。 这里应为working hard] in study and having high performance [when at school] do not make sense while they are working.Taking all these aspects intoconsideration, I
believe that people should stress great importance on relating well with others rather than studying hard simply in schools [at school]so as to be success [successful] in the future work.
help more and more 之类的初级词可以替换使用。
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-5 21:40
标题: 8月5日(综合)
TPO3:
In the lecture, the professor makes several points about whether the painting was draw by Rembrandt. The professor argues the painting was painted by Rembrandt. However, the reading contends that there are several problems with the painting, so it may be not painted by him. The professor’s lecture casts doubt on the reading with several points.
The first point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading is that the luxurious fur collar is added on the original painting by other people hundreds years later. According to the professor, the reason why people do so is that people wanted to let it looks like a formal portrait lady. It differs from the reading in that the reading states there is something inconsistent about the way of the woman dressed since the hat the woman dressed indicates her is a servant, therefore she could not afford the fur collar.
Another point that the professor uses to casts doubt on the reading is the elements of light and shadow are supposed to be realistic. The professor claims that the collar is added by people in the later hundred years but before that its color is light, as a consequence, it can reflect the light and illuminate the face. However, the reading states the black fur collar would absorb the light rather than reflect it. Thus, the face should appear partially in shadow.
Finally, the professor states that, on the contrary of the reading, the painting was painted on one panel. In other words, the person who added the fur collar enlarged the panel. Besides, researchers find that the material of the original panel is as same as another painting of Rembrant(his self portrait with hat). This directly contradicts what the reading passage indicates that this painting panel is consist of several pieces of wood glued together rather than only one panel as usual as Rembrant painted.
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-6 10:37
标题: 8月5日
TOPIC:Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on people's behavior
As the science and technology developing byleaps and bounds with passing years, people’s lifestyle takes place a dramaticchange especially when the television and movie come out. Some people professthat movies and television exert negative influence on people’s behavior sincesome programs contain violence and porn information. However, I believe thatthe advantages outweigh its drawbacks. Television and movies enable us tocultivate good habits, alter our perspectives and make us become humor.
To begin with, people can gain access tothe news home and broad which can enlarge our knowledge and broaden our horizonthrough the television. Through the media of TV people can instantly grasp theevents happened around us such as, political movement, economic trend, scientificachievements and latest products. Take me as an example: when I was studied inmy senior high school. I would watch the news channel on the television with myfather so as to relax myself after the heavy study. I addressed more attentionon the events which are close related to my country. For instance: the methodsand the attitude of China when it deals with the dispute of the Diaoyu islands.Day by day I cultivated the habit that I would watch 30-minute of news everyday before the dinner. Hence, watching television not only can relax ourselvesbut also can alert people’s habits.
What’s more, watching movies can benefitpeople to have better understanding of their own life and improve theiroutlook. It is a common sense that most of the movies have their ownsignificance rather than just for making audiences feel relaxed. Take the Titanicas an illustration: it shows an earthshaking love story to us. After I watchedthis excellent movie, I realized true love had nothing to do with money andpeople’s status. Besides, it could be beyond live or death. Love would give uscourage and power when we encounter problems. Miracles would occur due to thepower of love. Accordingly, people can slow down their life pace and stressmore importance to their mental requests and sublimate their personalities bywatching movies which is becoming more and more imperative in recent society.
Moreover, people can enhance their level ofhumor by watching television programs. Being humor is indispensible inmaintaining good relationships with others. People are willing to make friendswith you if you are humor especially in some foreign countries. Throughwatching some talk shows on television can improve your ability of humor. As aresult, you can reinforce the companionship with your friends and make morefriends.
Granted, some harmful information oncertain programs may pose a great threat to people’s behavior particularly tothe kids’. Nevertheless, our government had also notice that and employ severalstrategies to screen these nuisance. For example, legislating relative laws,establishing a department called Guangdianzongju to monitor the programs.
Taking all these aspects intoconsideration, I believe that the merits of televisions and movies overwhelmits weakness.
PS:
TO批作业的亲:
是在是太不好意思,昨天家里的无线出了点问题,作文没有上传.
给你添麻烦了~
作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-8-6 12:20
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
In the lecture, the professor makes several points about whether the painting was draw by Rembrandt. The professor argues the painting was painted by Rembrandt. However, the reading contends that there are several problems with the painting, so it may be not painted by him. The professor’s lecture casts doubt on the reading with several points.
The first point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading is that the luxurious fur collar is added on the original painting by other people hundreds years later. According to the professor, the reason why people do so is that people wanted to let it looks like a formal portrait lady. It differs from the reading in that the reading states there is something inconsistent(这里要用名字，或者用动名词吧) about the way of the woman dressed since the hat the woman dressed indicates her is a servant, therefore she could not afford the fur collar.
Another point that the professor uses to casts doubt on the reading is the elements of light and shadow are supposed to be realistic. The professor claims that the collar is added by people in the later hundred years but before that its color is light, as a consequence, it can reflect the light and illuminate the face. However, the reading states the black（dark） fur collar would absorb the light rather than reflect it. Thus, the face should appear partially in shadow.
Finally, the professor states that, on the contrary of the reading, the painting was painted on one panel. In other words, the person who added the fur collar enlarged the panel. Besides, researchers find that the material of the original panel is as same as another painting of Rembrant(his self portrait with hat). This directly contradicts what the reading passage indicates that this painting panel is consist of several pieces of wood glued together rather than only one panel as usual as Rembrant painted.
整体不错，注意时态就好。
作者: 上善若水1018 时间: 2012-8-6 13:41
As the science andtechnology developing by leaps and bounds with passing years, people’slifestyle takes place a dramatic change especially when the television andmovie come out. Some people profess that movies and television exert negativeinfluence on people’s behavior since some programs contain violence and porninformation. However, I believe that the advantages outweigh its drawbacks.Television and movies enable us to cultivate good habits, alter ourperspectives and make us become humor.
To begin with, people can gain access to the newshome and broad which can enlarge our knowledge and broaden our horizon throughthe television. Through the media of TV people can instantly grasp the eventshappened around us such as, political movement, economic trend, scientific achievementsand latest products. Take me as an example: when I was studied in my seniorhigh school. I would watch the news channel on the television with my father soas to relax myself after the heavy study. I addressed more attention on theevents which are close related to my country. For instance: the methods and theattitude of China when it deals with the dispute of the Diaoyu islands. Day byday I cultivated the habit that I would watch 30-minute of news everyday beforethe dinner（day by day和everyday有重复）. Hence,watching television not only can relax ourselves but also can alert（modify会不会更贴切？）people’s habits.
What’s more, watching movies can benefit people tohave better understanding of their own life and improve their outlook. It is acommon sense that most of the movies have their own significance rather thanjust for making audiencesfeel relaxed（entertainment一个词就可以代替）. Take the Titanicas an illustration: it showsan earthshaking love story to us. After I watched this excellent movie, Irealized true love had nothing to do with money and people’s status （fortune, status or fame 注意是OR不是AND）.Besides, it could be beyond live or（and 肯定句用and，否定句用or） death. Lovewould give us courage and power when we encounter problems. Miracles wouldoccur due to the power of love. Accordingly, people can slow down their lifepace and stress more importance to their mental requests and sublimate theirpersonalities by watching movies which is becoming more and more imperative inrecent society.
Moreover, people can enhance their level of humorby watching television programs. Being humor is indispensible in maintaininggood relationships with others. People are willing to make friends with you ifyou are humor especially in some foreign countries. Through watching some talkshows on television can improve your ability of humor. As a result, you canreinforce the companionship with your friends and make more friends.
Granted, some harmful information on certainprograms may pose a great threat to people’s behavior particularly to thekids’. Nevertheless, our government had also notice that and employ several strategiesto screen these nuisance. For example, legislating relative laws, establishinga department called Guangdianzongju to monitor the programs.
Taking all these aspects into consideration, Ibelieve that the merits of televisions and movies over whelmits weakness.
LZ词汇量很丰富，论证展开也很好。不过有轻微跑题之嫌。问题是对youngpeople行为的影响，文章似乎成了对people的论证。
我觉得作文写成这样可以直接上考场考31了吧。。。
如果非要鸡蛋里挑骨头的话，nativespeaker的评价是有堆砌词汇之嫌。
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-6 16:15
标题: 8月6日(综合)
TPO:4
In the lecture, the professor makes severalpoints about whether dinosaurs are endotherms or not. The professor argues thatthe information provided in the reading material cannot prove dinosaurs areendotherms. However, the reading contends that dinosaurs are endothermos. Theprofessor's lecture cast doubt on the reading with several points.
The first point that the professor uses tocast doubt on the reading is that fossils found in polar region cannot indicatethe dinosaur are endothermos. According to the professor, the temperature inpolar regions at that time is warm enough to allow not endothermous animals tostay. Besides, during the cold period in those distracts, animals can emigrateto warmer regions or become hibernated. It differs from the reading, in thatthe reading states only animals can maintain a constant temperature above thatof the surrounding environment can live in such regions.
Another point that the professor uses tocast doubt on the reading is that the position of the legs cannot prove thedinosaur are endotherms. The professor claims that the legs, beneath the dinosaur'sbody, is a function to support their heavy weight rather than is acharacteristic of endothermous animals. However, the reading professes onlymodern endotherms have the legs underneath their bodies, therefore, it isobvious that dinosaurs are endotherms.
Finally, the professor asserts that, on thecontrary of the reading, dinosaurs do have Haversian canals in their bonestructure but they also contain the growth rings which can indicate thedinosaur is not endothermous animals. In other words, the growth rings canreveal the period of the growth of the dinosaur. The growth rings show thatdinosaurs growing slowly followed by growing rapidly. As a result, it is apattern of not endothermous animals. This directly contradicts what the readingpassage indicates that Haversian canals which is a structure in the bones ofendotherms also exist in dinosaurs. Enhace, dinosaurs are endothermous animals.
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-6 21:23
标题: 8月6日
TOPIC:high school students should take a course on basic economics
Currently, economy plays an increasingimportant role in our daily lives since it exerts influence on nearly everyaspect of people’s lives. As a result, it raises a hot discussion about whetherhigh school students should take a course on basic economics. Some peopleoppose this proposal, thinking there is no need to waste time on it because itis not part of the college entrance examination. However I believe high schoolshould provide students with the course on some basic theories of economy. Learningthis curriculum can benefit students to manage their own money, enhance theirmath performance and cultivate interests in it.
To begin with, studying the basic economicsin high school can improve their abilities of managing money. After studentsgraduate from the high school, they will leave their parents and become independentno matter for further education or hurting jobs. They have to manage their ownlife on their own including managing the money. Learning the economy as earlyas possible can help them deal with the financial issue easily. Take me as anexample: when I was studying in my senior high school, my school provided uswith some basic knowledge of economy. Thanks to grasping those basic theories, Imanaged my money with ease after attending the university. I would make budgetplan to avoid wasting money; I would bargain with vendors when I buy fruits; I wouldmake a book to record my expense. It is conceivable that taking an economiccourse in high school can let students learn the technique of managing theirown money in advance.
What’s more, students can improve theirmathematic performance by learning the economy because of the relevance betweenmathematics and economy. It is undeniable that numerous of formulas in math canbe applied in economy. As a result, learning economy will become much easierand in return students can enhance their mathematic knowledge while studyingeconomy. Take me as an illustration: after entering into the university, mymathematic performance was so poor that I lost my confidence and interest of it.But I was found of economy. When I encountered some difficult mathematic formulasin the process of learning economy, I would look them up in the reference book.As a consequence, my math performance increased by leaps and bounds in thatsemester. It is apparent that learning economy can greatly affect othersubjects.
Moreover, some students can cultivate theirinterests of economy when taking the lessons of economy in high school. By takingthe course of economy in high school, some students may intrigue the interestof it as economy is so related to our daily lives. Therefore, they may takeeconomy as their major in colleges. Besides, due to the experience of learningeconomy in advance, they can learn it faster than others who are not familiarwith it.
Taking all these aspects intoconsideration, I insist that high school should set up the courses about basiceconomics for students.
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-8-7 09:08
黄色＝好词
Currently, economy plays an increasing importantrole in our daily lives since it exerts influence on nearly every aspect of people’s lives. As aresult, it raises a hot discussion about whether high school students shouldtake a course on basic economics. Some people oppose this proposal, thinkingthere is no need to waste time on it because it is not part of the collegeentrance examination. However I believe high school should provide studentswith the course on some basic theories of economy. Learning this curriculum canbenefit students to managetheir own money, enhance their math performance and cultivate interests in it.
To begin with, studying the basic economics in highschool can improve their【students’】 abilities ofmanaging money. After students graduate from the high school, they will leavetheir parents and become independent no matter for further education or hurting【hunting】 jobs. Theyhave to manage their own life on their own including managing the money.Learning the economy as early as possible can help them deal with the financialissue easily. Take me 【myself】 as an example:when I was studying in my senior high school, my school provided us with somebasic knowledge of economy. Thanks to grasping those basic theories, I managed my money with ease after attendingthe university. I would makebudget plan to avoid wasting money; I would bargain with vendors when I buy fruits; Iwould make a book to record my expense. It is conceivable that taking an economic course in highschool can let students learn the technique of managing their own money inadvance.
What’s more, students can improve their mathematicperformance by learning the economy because of the relevance between mathematicsand economy. It is undeniable that numerous of formulas in math can be appliedin economy. As a result, learning economy will become much easier and in return students canenhance their mathematic knowledge while studying economy. Take me as anillustration【My own experience illustrates it very well】: afterentering into the university, my mathematic performance was so poor that I lostmy confidence and interest of it. But I was found【fond】 of economy.When I encountered some difficult mathematic formulas in the process oflearning economy, I would look them up in the reference book. As a consequence,my math performance increased by leaps and bounds in that semester. It is apparent that learningeconomy can greatly affect other subjects.
Moreover, some students can cultivate their interestsof economy when taking the lessons of economy in high school. By taking thecourse of economy in high school, some students may intrigue the interest of itas economy is so related to our daily lives. Therefore, they may take economyas their major in colleges. Besides, due to the experience of learning economyin advance, they can learn it faster than others who are not familiar with it.
Taking all these aspects into consideration, Iinsist that high school should set up the courses about basic economics forstudents.
很喜欢你的文章～～
结构很清楚，尤其是，你在文章的首段就将自己的理由简述了出来，一看，就知道之后要写什么了。很赞～～
你的语言，用词，举例都很恰当。读起来特别顺畅。
唯一一点是，个人觉得第二个理由有点牵强。
作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-7 09:56
TPO:4
In the lecture, the professor makes several points about whether dinosaurs are endotherms or not. The professor argues that the information provided in the reading material cannot prove dinosaurs are endotherms. However, the reading contends that dinosaurs are endothermos. Theprofessor's lecture cast doubt on the reading with several points.( 开头有些繁琐, 个人觉得先说阅读文章坚持说恐龙是endothermos, 然后 However,叫兽不同意持相反观点，更好。)
The first point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading is that fossils found in polar region cannot indicate the dinosaur are endothermos. According to the professor, the temperature in polar regions at that time is warm enough to allow not endothermous animals to stay. Besides, during the cold period in those distracts, animals can emigrate to warmer regions or become hibernated. It differs from the reading, in that the reading states only animals can maintain a constant temperature above that of the surrounding environment can live in such regions.
Another point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading is that the position of the legs cannot prove the dinosaur are endotherms. The professor claims that the legs, beneath the dinosaur'sbody, is a function to support their heavy weight rather than is a characteristic of endothermous animals. However, the reading professes （少个谓语吧？claims that）only modern endotherms have the legs underneath their bodies, therefore, it is obvious that dinosaurs are endotherms.
Finally, the professor asserts(asserts 是武断的认为，可是事实是恐龙的骨架里确实含有haversian canal, 所以应该用admits, 承认事实，然后转折，however, 个人感觉这样更合逻辑) that, on the contrary of the reading, dinosaurs do have Haversian canals in their bone structure, but they also contain the growth rings which can indicate the dinosaur is not endothermous animals. In other words, the growth rings can reveal the period of the growth of the dinosaur. The growth rings show that dinosaurs growing slowly followed by growing rapidly. As a result, it is a pattern of not endothermous animals. (这个应该是没有听清楚，叫兽说的是冷的时候长的慢，热得时候长得快，所以不是endotherms, 因为endotherms 的特点是长得总是很快，不管温度冷热)This directly contradicts what the reading passage indicates that Haversian canals which is a structure in the bones of endotherms also exist in dinosaurs. Enhance, dinosaurs are endothermous animals.
感觉楼主听力可能有些薄弱, 说的不对的话,请勿介意. 加油!
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-7 14:47
标题: 8月7日(综合)
TOP:5
In the lecture, the professor makes severalpoints about the three theories which explain the function of the “great house”.The professor argues that, unfortunately, none of the three theories isconvincing. However, the reading contends that although there is still nouniversally agreement of the explanation of the aim of the “great house”, thereare three competing theories. The professor’s lecture cast doubt on the readingwith several points.
The first point the professor uses to castdoubt on the reading is that though the Chaco structure looks like residentialhouse form outside, it does not allow numerous people to live there regardingthe interior structure. Researchers find that there are only a few offireplaces where allow people to do their daily cooking. Besides, there is noenough room for them to stay. It differs from the reading, in that the readingstates that the structure is interpreted as earlier version of the architecturein Southwest society. In addition, it is strikingly similar to the “apartmentbuildings” at Taos.
Another point that the professor uses tocast doubt on the reading is that the second theory is unsupported by theevidence. The professor claims that after excavating in this place. Researcherscannot trace maize or maize containers which are the fundament equipments forstoring. However, the reading professes that it is used to store food supplies.Maize can be stored there for a long time without spoiling. Furthermore, there areno other places suitable for storing their foods.
Finally, the professor asserts that, on thecontrary of the reading, the third theory is incorrect. In other words, whileexcavating the mounds in Pueblo Alto, researchers also find large quantities ofbuilding material, such as, sands, stones. It is obvious that it is a trashdisposition and it is a place for meal rather than for ceremony. This directlycontradicts what the reading passage indicates that the houses are used asceremonial centers.
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-7 19:05
标题: 8月7日
TOPIC:In order to solve the problems of the present and the future, people should review the past
As the competition, around people’s lives,becomes increasingly severe, life is getting more challenge than before. In orderto solve the problems of the present and the future, some people come up theperspective that we should view the past. As far as I am concerned, I totallysupport it. Learning from the past enables us to become success at ease,inspires us to great achievement and points out mistakes to avoid.
To begin with, we can achieve success easierby reviewing the past experience of other successes. As an old saying goes:” standon the shoulder of giants’.” We can learn from the successful experience of ancientpeople so as to find a shortcut to deal with similar problems. Take me as anexample: when I was preparing the TOEFL test, I often went to some English forumsthrough the internet, such as, English-test, Chasedream, for the sake offinding efficient ways to improve my writing ability. I learned numerous preciousand effective suggestions from the people who took a high performance in the test.For instance: referencing essays which had high marks, reading ScientificAmerican every day to master vocabulary, sticking to write a essay every singleday. After a month of hard working, I got a high score in the test. It isobvious that referencing the experience of others benefits us to achieve dreamsat ease.
What’s more, learning about the courage andtenacity of history’s great explorers, leaders and other achievers can inspireus to similar accomplishment. Their spirits will stimulate us when we are impededby dilemmas. Take me as an illustration: when I was preparing the GRE test, I wantedto give up in the middle since the heavy study burden and the suffering ofrecite vocabulary. However, after I read the store of the development of electriclight bulb by Thomas Edison. I was moved by his persistence because he triescountless times to find out the best material of the filament. Due to his positiveinfluence, I finally stuck it in the end. It is apparent that we can enhanceour values by the means of reviewing the past.
Moreover, by retrospect the past canprevent us from repeatedly committing the same mistakes which occurred before. Inthe history, there are a large set of catastrophes was caused by ancient peoplefor lacking enough technology and consciousness. For instance, the leak ofunclear energy happened in Japan in 2011. The nuclear power station explodedafter the earthquake. As a consequence, it caused hundreds of people gotinfected and approximately twenty thousands of people had to leave their homeon account of the radiation. It was a painful tragedy not only to Japan but alsothe whole human beings. We people are so fragile in face of such great power. Asa lesson, our government is stress increasing importance to that issue.
Taking all these aspects intoconsideration, I believe that nothing is more important than retrospect thepast to successfully solve the problems of right now or the future.
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-8 09:36
标题: 8月8日(综合)
tpo:6
In the lecture, the professor makes severalpoints about the value of Communal online encyclopedias. The professor arguesthat although the communal online encyclopedias is nor perfect, it still hasgreat advantages. However, the reading contends that the critical problems ofthe communal online encyclopedias make them much less valuable than traditionalprinted encyclopedias. The professor’s lecture cast doubt on the reading withseveral points.
The first point that the professor uses tocast doubt on the reading is that neither communal online encyclopedias nor traditionalprinted encyclopedias are perfect. According to the professor, communal onlineencyclopedias exist several errors in deed. But there is no comprehensive bookcontains no mistakes. Besides, the mistakes of communal online encyclopediascan be corrected easily compared with traditional printed encyclopedias whichwill remain error for years. I t differs from the reading, in that the readingstates that communal online encyclopedias lack academic credentials while traditionalprinted encyclopedias are more correct for writing adhere to standards.
Another point that the professor uses tocast doubt on the reading is the strategies employed by communal onlineencyclopedias to defend hacking. The professor claims that there are two meansfor communal online encyclopedias to prevent their content from being change byhackers on purpose. The first method is that the communal online encyclopediasapply read only formation to its important information. Under that formation unprivilegedpeople cannot change the resource. The second one is there are a specific panelconsists of special editors whose job is monitor the changes. However, thereading professes that the communal online encyclopedia will be interpolated byunscrupulous readers deliberately which will not happen in the traditionalprinted encyclopedias.
Finally, the professor asserts that, on thecontrary of the reading, communal online encyclopedias do not offer falseimpression to readers. In other words, it contains a great varied informationand accurately reflects the diversity of uses’ interesting. Whereas, thetraditional printed encyclopedias cannot provide great range of informationthat users need due to the limited space of the book. This directly contradictsto what the reading passage indicates that communal online encyclopedias willmislead the users since it focus too frequently and in too great a depth onpopular topics.
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-8 14:22
标题: 8月8日
topic:What is the main role of the university professor, to educate students or to do research?
Recently, whether universityprofessors should focus on research or teaching students raises a heateddebate. Some hold the view that professors should pay greater attention totheir research. Therefore, they can improve the technology and make the societyprogress. However, others believe that professors’ primary job is fostering thenext generation of the country. As far as I am concerned, I am in favor of thelatter perspective. There are several reasons to support that which I willillustrate in this essay.
To begin with, the professors are the best choice who can teach universitystudents especially in their specific major. The reason is that theprofessors have studied in a specific domain field for a long time.As a result, they have sophisticated skills of teaching and are capable toof helping students to deal with their questions in an academic area.Take my professor doctor Yang as an example: he is a professor who only focuseson educating students instead of doing research. When I have problem in mymajor (computer science), I will turn to him for help. Andhe will tell me the ways in which to handle it.
What’s more, if all professors only do research rather than teaching students,the consequence is terrible. No one will impart knowledge to the universitystudents. The education level of the next generation will become lower and lower.Therefore, the country will have no innovation, no improvement intechniques, even the progress of the society will be deteriorated in thefuture. On the other hand, the inheritance is imperative to thecountry. Teachers’ primary responsibility is training students for thedevelopment of the country even the whole human society in the long run.
Taking all these aspects into consideration, I believe that professors shouldattach importance to education rather than doing research.
作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-8-8 18:51
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
In the lecture, the professor makes several points about the three theories which explain the function of the “great house”. The professor argues that, unfortunately, none of the three theories is convincing. However, the reading contends that although there is still nouniversally agreement of the explanation of the aim of the “great house”, there are three competing theories. The professor’s lecture cast doubt on the reading with several points.
The first point the professor uses to casts doubt on the reading is that though the Chaco structure looks like residential house form outside, it does not allow numerous people to live there regarding the interior structure. Researchers find that there are only a few of fire places where allow people to do their daily cooking. Besides, there is no enough room for them to stay. It differs from the reading, in that the reading states that the structure is interpreted as earlier version of the architecture in Southwest society. In addition, it is strikingly similar to the “apartment buildings” at Taos.（听力里面的是不是有房间住但是没有足够的火堆额。其实我也觉得只要有足够的空间怎么会没有足够的地方来做火堆尼）
Another point that the professor uses to cast doubt on（这个换下吧，） the reading is that the second theory is unsupported by the evidence. The professor claims that after excavating in this place. （这里用逗号吧，好像是一句的样子）Researchers cannot trace maize or maize containers which are the fundament（adj） equipments for storing. However, the reading professes that it is used to store food supplies. Maize can be stored there for a long time without spoiling. Furthermore, there are no other places suitable for storing their foods.
Finally, the professor asserts that, on the contrary of the reading, the third theory is incorrect. In other words, while excavating the mounds in Pueblo Alto, researchers also find large quantities of building material, such as, sands, stones. It is obvious that it is a trash disposition and it is a place for meal rather than for ceremony. This directly contradicts what the reading passage indicates that the houses are used asceremonial centers.
整体听力不错，听力和阅读的内容也很好了。
作者: kchszy061ban 时间: 2012-8-8 19:16
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
As the competition, around（感觉这个动词不是很准确，看google search） people’s lives, becomes increasingly severe, life is getting more challenge than before. In order to solve the problems of the present and the future, some people come up the perspective that we should view the past. As far as I am concerned, I totally support it. Learning from the past enables us to become success at ease, inspires us to great achievement and points out mistakes to avoid.
To begin with, we can achieve success easier by reviewing the past experience of other successes（successfu people？）. As an old saying goes:” stand on the shoulder of giants’.” We can learn from the successful experience of ancient people so as to find a shortcut to deal with similar problems. Take me as anexample: when I was preparing the TOEFL test, I often went to some English forums through the internet, such as, English-test, Chasedream, for the sake of finding efficient ways to improve my writing ability. I learned numerous precious and effective suggestions from the people who took a high performance in the test .For instance: referencing essays which had high marks, reading Scientific American every day to master vocabulary, sticking to write a essay every single day. After a month of hard working, I got a high score in the test. It is obvious that referencing the experience of others benefits us to achieve dreams at ease.
What’s more, learning about the courage and tenacity of history’s great explorers, leaders and other achievers can inspireus to similar accomplishment. Their spirits will stimulate us when we are impeded by dilemmas. Take me as an illustration: when I was preparing the GRE test, I wanted to give up in the middle since the heavy study burden and the suffering of recite vocabulary. However, after I read the store of the development（invention）of electric light bulb by Thomas Edison. I was moved by his persistence because he tries countless times to find out the best material of the filament. Due to his positive influence, I finally stuck it in the end. It is apparent that we can enhance our values by the means of reviewing the past.（不知道这里再加上看完他的故事后我深受感动然后坚持考试并取得好成绩。）
Moreover, by（这里直接用动名词呗）retrospect the past can prevent us from repeatedly committing the same mistakes which occurred before. In the history, there are a large set of catastrophes was caused by ancient（undeveloped 这个感觉还是比较好的了） people for lacking enough technology and consciousness. For instance, the leak of unclear energy happened in Japan in 2011. The nuclear power station exploded after the earthquake. As a consequence, it caused hundreds of people got infected and approximately twenty thousands of people had to leave their home on account of the radiation. It was a painful tragedy not only to Japan but alsothe whole human beings. We people are so fragile in face of such great power. As a lesson, our government is stress increasing importance to that issue.
Taking all these aspects into consideration, I believe that nothing is more important than retrospect the past to successfully solve the problems of right now or the future.
例子举得很具体了，下面就是要将词汇用合适和清楚。适当加入变化句式和比较适合考官眼光的词汇就会好一点了。
作者: fairyfinger 时间: 2012-8-9 09:47
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
topic:What is the main role of the university professor, to educate students or to do research?
Recently, whether university professors should focus on research or teaching students raises a heated debate. Some hold the view that professors should pay greater attention totheir research. Therefore, they can improve the technology and make the societyprogress. However, others believe that professors’ primary job is fostering thenext generation of the country. As far as I am concerned, I am in favor of thelatter perspective. There are several reasons to support that which I will illustrate in this essay.
To begin with, the professors are the best choice who can teach university students especially in their specific major. The reason is that theprofessors have studied in a specific domain field 这两个词用一个就可以了~~for a long time.As a result, they have sophisticated skills of teaching and are capableto of helping students to deal with their questions in an academic area.Take my professor doctor Yang as an example: he is a professor who only focuseson educating students instead of doing research. When I have problem in mymajor (computer science), I will turn to him for help. Andhe will tell me the ways in which to handle it.
What’s more, if all professors only do research rather than teaching students,the consequence is terrible. No one will impart knowledge to the universitystudents. The education level of the next generation will become lower and lower.Therefore, the country will have no innovation, no improvement intechniques, even the progress of the society will be deteriorated in thefuture. On the other hand, the inheritance is imperative to thecountry. Teachers’ primary responsibility is training students for thedevelopment of the country even the whole human society in the long run.
Taking all these aspects into consideration, I believe that professors shouldattach importance to education rather than doing research.
楼主结构，观点都很清楚，但是如果时间来得及的话，在写一段就更充实啦
还有就是第二段适当举个例子就更好了，不过像楼主这样用反证法也很好啦～～
作者: ykhjy 时间: 2012-8-9 15:04
8月8日(综合) 修改~
蓝色模版，黄色需修改，红色我改滴，绿色总结
tpo:6
In the lecture, the professor makes severalpoints about the value of Communal online encyclopedias. The professor arguesthat although the communal online encyclopedias is nor perfect, it still hasgreat advantages. However, the reading contends that the critical problems ofthe communal online encyclopedias make them much less valuable than traditionalprinted encyclopedias. The professor’s lecture cast doubt on the reading withseveral points.【说了主要内容和lecture和文章见的关系，是挺清楚的，但个人觉得太详细了，概括一下会好点，而且需要强调的是lecture的观点，however后面是不是用lecture的比较好。。】
The first point that the professor uses tocast doubt on the reading is that neither communal online encyclopedias nor traditionalprinted encyclopedias are perfect. According to the professor, communal onlineencyclopedias exist several errors in deed. But there is no comprehensive bookcontains no mistakes. Besides, the mistakes of communal online encyclopediascan be corrected easily compared with traditional printed encyclopedias whichwill remain error for years. I t differs from the reading, in that the readingstates that communal online encyclopedias lack academic credentials while traditionalprinted encyclopedias are more correct for writing adhere to standards.【好详细。。我觉得最好概括下把，只需要有reading中point的就好了，reading中的细节不必说】
Another point that the professor uses tocast doubt on the reading is the strategies employed by communal onlineencyclopedias to defend hacking. The professor claims that there are two meansfor communal online encyclopedias to prevent their content from being change byhackers on purpose. The first method is that the communal online encyclopedias apply read only formation to its important information. Under that formation unprivilegedpeople cannot change the resource. The second one is there are a specific panelconsists of special editors whose job is monitor the changes. However, thereading professes that the communal online encyclopedia will be interpolated byunscrupulous readers deliberately which will not happen in the traditionalprinted encyclopedias.【得指出lecture反对reading，最后一句只阐述了reading中的观点，并未指出两者关系】
Finally, the professor asserts that, on the contrary of the reading【看着有点奇怪，可以这么用么？】, communal online encyclopedias do not offer falseimpression to readers. In other words, it contains a great varied informationand accurately reflects the diversity of uses’ interesting. Whereas, thetraditional printed encyclopedias cannot provide great range of informationthat users need due to the limited space of the book. This directly contradictsto what the reading passage indicates that communal online encyclopedias willmislead the users since it focus too frequently and in too great a depth onpopular topics.【指出了contradiction，但我觉得指出 important和interest的关系会更好】
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-9 16:05
标题: 8月9日(综合)
TPO:7
In the lecture, the professor makes severalpoints about whether wood companies in United States will apple the eco-certification.The professor argues that there are good reasons for American wood companies toseek eco-certification eventually. However, the reading contends that it is impossiblefor these companies to adapt to the certification. The professor’s lecture castdoubt on the reading with several points.
The first point that the professor uses tocast doubt on the reading is that customers do not treat all the advertisement thesame. According to the professor, consumers will treat the companies which maketheir products on their own and those independent agencies differently. As aresult, they are more interested in the wood products which are certified byinternational reputed organizations. It differs from the reading, in that thereading states that American consumers will not pay more attention to the eco-certificationsince they are exposed to too much advertisings and do not trust the claims inthese advertisements.
Another point that the professor uses tocast doubt on the reading is that slight difference in price does not make a differencein consumer’s decisions. The professor claims that although American customerscare a lot about the price, they will consider the value of protecting theenvironment if the difference of the price is subtle. However, the readingstates that to gain the eco-certification, the companies have to pay a largenumber of money to the eco-certification agency. Then, this additional costwill pass on to consumers. As a result, the price of the products will increaseand these companies will lose customers.
Finally, the professor asserts that, on thecontrary of the reading, wood companies in America should pay more attention tothe trend of the wood business internationally. In other words, it is a goodchance to attract customers if the company has the eco-certification in orderto prevent foreign companies occupying the American market. This directlycontradicts what the reading passage indicates that there is no need for Americancompanies to pursuit the certification since they sell most products in theUnited States.
作者: linwa小默 时间: 2012-8-9 19:32
标题: 迟来的8.1 独立修改，再次抱歉，我没看见要给你改作文啊 原谅我吧！
迟来的8.1 独立修改，再次抱歉，我没看见要给你改作文啊 原谅我吧！
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
When emergency problems occur, several people prefer to communicate with each other through e-mail or text message, since they can have enough time to organize their language. However, under such circumstances, I believe using telephone or voice-messaging is more convenient. It is better to use these methods to reduce the(这里应该不是特指吧) misunderstandings, get the feedback immediately and enhance the communication.(我觉得这边好像都不是特指吧，可以直接 get feedbacks immediately and enhance communication.)
虽然我也经常乱用the来修饰，但是不是特指的地方还是不用的好
To begin with, compared(你这句话的主语貌似是people，但是你想表达的意思应该语音信息比较与文本信息) with text message and e-mails, people can explain their perspectives more clearly to another(我说不上对不对哦，但是读起来怪怪，个人觉得要么explain their perspectives to another more clearly 或者就把to another省略) by using phone calls(这个说话怪怪的) and(or) voice-message while they are discussing problems. As a result, it can avoid misunderstandings. Take me as an example: last summer, I took an(删掉) internship in Microsoft in Shanghai. One day, Tony, my team leader, sent me an email to assign me a couple of(这个很少用来修饰work吧) work. However, the email was full of abbreviations and acronyms which confused me a lot because I was not familiar with them. And it is impossible to ask these acronyms one by one through the(删) email. Therefore, I made a phone call to ask my leader to clarify these words(这里用terms比较好，因为你要问的是术语不是单词).(有木有感觉少了连词，逻辑上很突兀) When you are discussing complex problems with another, it is convenient to use telephone or voice-messages. Because you can ask another immediately in order to dwindle misunderstandings(我觉得可以加一个at once 来表达立刻就能解决的感觉),when you encounter questions.
What’s more, using telephones and voice-messages you can get response as soon as possible and(but) you cannot enjoy such luxury while you employ text-message to communicate. The reason is that people will not(删) check their mail box every minute. And it is a common sense that the rings of text-message are quite shorter than the phone calls. As a result, people may often disregard the text-message especially when there(they?吧) are occupied. Take my friend Mark as an example: last weekend, he and I decided to watch a movie in the cinema of(in) my town. He asked me to send him a message before I departed home. And I did what he asked but he did not replied to me. I thought he had seen the message. I waited him in the cinema for a long time and eventually made a phone call to him. Afterward, he said that he did not notice the message. Nevertheless, such situations will(would) not occur if you make a phone call. Nearly all the people will abort their work in their hand to answer the calls.
Moreover, using voice-messages and phonecalls can improve the communication between people. People(They) can gain extra information on account of the talking manners, pronunciation and intonation during the talking session. For instance: A(a) loud and strong voice indicates(前面用and这里就用复数形式，要么前面改成or, 后面的demonstrates和states相同) that (the) person is impatient and rude; A(a) slow and soft voice, on the contrary, demonstrates the person is gentle; A(a) low and pausal voice states the person is helpless.
排比用的很好，但是要注意用and 或or时后面跟的动词形式
Taking all these aspects into consideration, I believe we should use the telephone or voice-messages to communicate especially when emergency and(or) controversial issues occur.
看了一些他人帮LZ改的文章也有这样的问题，就是很多地方不空格。。
第一次帮人改作文，有什么不妥的地方，欢迎告诉我 大家相互探讨进步！
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-10 11:43
标题: 8月10日(综合)
tpo:8
In the lecture, the professor makes severalpoints about the accuracy of the memoir, written by Chevalier de Seingalt. Theprofessor argues that the details of the memoir are pretty accurate overall.However, the reading professes that there are some doubts about the accuracy ofthe memoir proposed by some critics. The professor cast doubt on the readingwith several points.
The first point that the professor castdoubt on the reading is that borrowing money from a merchant cannot indicate Chevalierwas poor. According to the professor, he was wealthy in deed. Notwithstanding,he had to sell his property to convert into money when he was run out of money.As a result, he had to borrow money from others while waiting his moneyarrived. It differs from the reading, in that the reading states that if the Chevalierhad really been very rich, he would not have to borrow money from a Swissmerchant.
Another point that the professor cast doubton the reading is that the content of the conversation between Chevalier andVoltaire is accurate. The professor claims that Chevalier would write down thecontent after the conversation with Voltaire every night immediately. Besides,some witnesses also confirmed that while Chevalier writing the memoir, hereferred the notes frequently. However, the reading states that although it istrue that Chevalier did have meet and conversation with Voltaire, the accuracyof the conversation was suspicious, because it was written many yeas afer theconversation happened. Critics believed that he could not remember specificphrases of the conversation.
Finally, the professor asserts that, on thecontrary of the reading, there is evidence proving Chevalier was escaped fromthe ceiling of the cell rather than through bribing indirectly. In other words,the professor illustrates that there were a large number of people who had morepowerful friends than Chevalier did. But they could not escape from the prisonby bribing. Besides, an old document proved that the ceiling of his cell wasrepaired after he escaped from it. Therefore, all these factors indicated Chevalierwas escaped by digging a hole on the ceiling. This directly contradicts whatthe reading passage indicates that he claimed to have escaped through a hole inthe ceiling is in order to make enjoyable reading. As a matter of fact, heescaped the jail by the means of bribing offered by his fiends.
作者: ykhjy 时间: 2012-8-10 14:11
8月9日(综合) 修改~~
蓝色模版，黄色需修改，红色我改的，绿色总结。
TPO:7
In the lecture, the professor makes severalpoints about whether wood companies in United States will apple【apply】 the eco-certification.The professor argues that there are good reasons for American wood companies to seek eco-certification eventually. However, the reading contends that it is impossiblefor these companies to adapt to the certification. The professor’s lecture castdoubt on the reading with several points.【还是那个问题，我觉得强调的应该是lecture的内容】
The first point that the professor uses tocast doubt on the reading is that customers do not treat all the advertisement thesame. According to the professor, consumers will treat the companies which make their products on their own and those independent agencies differently. As a result, they are more interested in the wood products which are certified by international reputed organizations. It differs from the reading, in that【可以这么用？】 the reading states that American consumers will not pay more attention to the eco-certification since they are exposed to too much advertisings and do not trust the claims inthese advertisements.
Another point that the professor uses tocast doubt on the reading is that 【这个句式和上面一段的一样，可以换一下】slight difference in price does not make a difference in consumer’s decisions. The professor claims that although American customers care a lot about the price, they will consider the value of protecting theenvironment if the difference of the price is subtle. However, the readingstates that to gain the eco-certification, the companies have to pay a largenumber of money to the eco-certification agency. Then, this additional costwill pass on to consumers. As a result, the price of the products will increaseand these companies will lose customers.
Finally, the professor asserts that, on thecontrary of the reading, wood companies in America should pay more attention tothe trend of the wood business internationally. In other words, it is a good chance to attract customers if the company has the eco-certification in orderto prevent foreign companies occupying the American market. This directlycontradicts what the reading passage indicates that there is no need for Americancompanies to pursuit the certification since they sell most products in theUnited States.【lz细节说的都挺好的，只是我觉得最好把重点移到lecture，比如第二段，可以先说reading，再说lecture反驳的地方，或者只用一句 it disputed about the....said in the reading passage.】
作者: hjl80959 时间: 2012-8-11 09:59
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结或模板红色为错误
In the lecture, the professor makes several points about the accuracy of the memoir, written by Chevalier de Seingalt. The professor argues that the details of the memoir are pretty accurate overall. However, the reading professes that there are some doubts about the accuracy of the memoir proposed by some critics. The professor cast doubt on the reading with several points. 个人觉得用三个句子来表达显得过长，同时会有大量重复词汇出现不太好
The first point that the professor cast doubt on the reading is that borrowing money from a merchant cannot indicate Chevalier was poor. According to the professor, he was wealthy in deed. Notwithstanding, he had to sell his property to convert into money when he was run out of money. （是不是有点怪怪的，文章说的意思他又很多财产wealth，但是现金不多。肯能是notwithstanding的关系）As a result, he had to borrow money from others while waiting his money arrived. It differs from the reading, in that the reading states that if the Chevalier had really been very rich, he would not have to borrow money from a Swiss merchant.
Another point that the professor cast doubt on（这个词组出现多次了） the reading is that the content of the conversation between Chevalier and Voltaire is accurate. The professor claims that Chevalier would write down the content after the conversation with Voltaire every night immediately. Besides, some witnesses also confirmed that while Chevalier writing the memoir, he referred the notes frequently. However, the reading states that although it is true that Chevalier did have meet and conversation with Voltaire, the accuracy of the conversation was suspicious, because it was written many yeas afer the conversation happened. Critics believed that he could not remember specific phrases of the conversation.
具体的点应该没什么问题，但是太长了，文章是需要概括的，或者突出重点，这样写下去快赶上大作文了
Reading的材料要精简
Finally, the professor asserts that, on the contrary of the reading, there is evidence proving Chevalier was escaped from the ceiling of the cell rather than through bribing indirectly. In other words, the professor illustrates that there were a large number of people who had more powerful friends than Chevalier did. But they could not escape from the prison by bribing. Besides, an old document proved that the ceiling of his cell was repaired after he escaped from it. Therefore, all these factors indicated Chevalier was escaped by digging a hole on the ceiling. This directly contradicts what the reading passage indicates that he claimed to have escaped through a hole in the ceiling is in order to make enjoyable reading. As a matter of fact, he escaped the jail by the means of bribing offered by his fiends.
这个后面的就可以不用写了
楼主的听力很好，问题是integrated competition 不需要写这么多的内容。。精简在精简200～250个足够
作者: qy111 时间: 2012-8-11 21:09
加油！
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-12 11:55
标题: 8月11日
TOPIC:To improve the quality of education university should spend more money on salary for professor.
Recently, our government pays increasinglyattention on the quality of education, since it is the fundament of thedevelopment of science and technology. In other words, only the education improvedcan the society progress. From this perspective, most people hold the view thatuniversity should enhance the education quality through spending more money onsalary for its professors. However, I do not in favor of that. Increasing thesalary cannot improve the teaching abilities of teachers. Besides, on thecontrary, there are other more efficient means to strengthen the education,such as controlling the members of students attending classes and improving theinfrastructure of the university.
To begin with, raising the salary hasnothing to do with the reinforce of teaching abilities. It is apparent that theeducational quality is closely related to the educating abilities ofprofessors. Whereas, boosting the salary of the professor exerts no influenceover the improvement of the educating ability. Take one of my universityprofessor as an example: Mr. Gao taught us java, one computer programming language,last semester. Although, he has a high level of academic knowledge, he is notgood at teaching, since he cannot explain problems explicitly to us. Once hewas talking about the concept of thread which means the independent fragment ofone process but he could not introduce this concept clear to us. It took himnearly twenty minutes to explain this notion, nevertheless, none of us got theidea about what he was talking. Ultimately, he gave it up and required us learnon our own after class. It is conspicuous that universities should train theirprofessors so as to improving the quality of education rather than simplyspending more money on the salary for professors.
What’s more, reducing the number ofstudents of a class is more efficient to increasing the educational quality.Only in this way can professors attach equal importance to every student andstudents can concentrate on the class. It is prevalent that students are requiredto attend several curriculums in which a large number of students take thatcourse in the same time, for instance, the advanced mathematics. At the firstyear in the university, the whole students of my school approximately 150students were required to attend the advanced mathematics in a large classroom.Once I was late to the class and I sat in the back row of the classroom but I couldnot hear what the teacher talking about. It is obvious that controlling themember of students in class can definitely improve the quality of education.
Moreover, universities can take theadvantage of the extra money to ameliorate the facilities in the campus insteadof spending on the teachers’ salary such as updating the computers in thelibrary, providing nutritious food in the canteen, improving the livingconditions in the dormitory. All these are aimed to create a convenientenvironment for students to study.
Taking all these aspects intoconsideration, I believe that there are many other efficient methods to improvethe educational quality rather than simply adding salary for professors.
作者: acrophobiahy 时间: 2012-8-12 18:08
红色是错误，黄色是好词
Recently, our government pays increasingly attention on thequality of education, since it is the fundament of the development of scienceand technology. In other words, only the education improved can the societyprogress. From this perspective, most people hold the view that universities should enhance theeducation quality through spending more money on salary of their professors. However, I am not in favor of that.Increasing the salarycannot improve the teaching abilities of teachers. Besides, on the contrary, there areother more efficientmeans to strengthenthe education, suchas controlling the members of students attending classes and improving the infrastructure of the university.
To begin with, raising the salary has nothing to do with the reinforcement of teaching abilities.It is apparent thatthe educationalquality is closely related to the educating abilities of professors. Whereas, boosting the salary ofthe professor exerts no influence over the improvement of the educating ability.Take one of my university professors as an example: Mr. Gaotaught us java, one computer programming language, last semester. Although,he has a high level of academic knowledge, he is not good at teaching, sincehe cannot explain problems explicitly to us. Once he was talking about theconcept of thread which means the independent fragment of one process, but he could notintroduce this concept clear to us. It took him nearly twenty minutes to explain this notion,nevertheless, none of us got the idea about what he was talking. Ultimately, hegave it up and required us learn on our own after class. It is conspicuous thatuniversities should train their professorsso as to improve thequality of education rather than simply spend more money on thesalary for professors.
What’s more, reducing the number of students of a class is more efficient to increase the educationalquality. Only in this waycan professors attach equal importance to every student and can studentscan concentrate on the class. It is prevalentthat students are required toattend several curriculums in which a large number of students take that course at the same time, forinstance, the advanced mathematics. At the first year in the university, the whole students of myschool approximately 150 studentswere required to attend the advanced mathematics in a large classroom. Once I was late to theclass and I sat in the back row of the classroom but I could not hear what theteacher talking about. It is obviousthat controlling the memberof students in class can definitely improve the quality of education.
Moreover, universities can take the advantage of the extra money to ameliorate the facilitiesin the campus in steadofspending on the teachers’ salary such as updating the computers in the library, providingnutritious food in the canteen, improving the living conditions in thedormitory. All these are aimed to create a convenient environmentfor students to study.
Taking all these aspects into consideration, I believe that there are manyother efficient methods to improve the educational quality rather than simplyadding salary for professors.
很喜欢你的文章，结构很清晰，论证很清楚，还有许多漂亮的词汇～～
但是里面名词的单复数，还有些固定搭配需要注意哦～·
作者: Vance1991 时间: 2012-8-12 18:09
标题: 8月12日
TOPIC:it is better to finish a project completely and then begin a new one than work on two or more projects at the same time
As the rhythm of people’s lifestyle becomingincreasingly rapid, some people come up with the perspective that start two ormore projects at the same time can save a lot of time. However, I am not infavor of that statement, believing finishing a project completely and then begina new one is better than working on two or more missions simultaneously. Accomplishingtasks in turn can ensure the quality and is more efficient compared with theformer one.
To begin with, finishing projects one byone can ensure the quality of the work since while you are dealing with oneproject all the time you can concentrate on it and make fewer mistakes. Take meas an example: when I was studying in senior high school, once I was working onthe math homework while listening to the music, because it was extremely enjoyable.I was shaking my head and singing songs when calculating the formula. Then, thenext day my math teacher got mad on me on account of the poor quality of thehomework. Thereafter, I never do other affairs while I am doing my homeworksuch as listening to the music, watching the television. It is obvious that payingattention on single project can guarantee better working quality than handlingmuch work at the same time.
What’s more, although several people insistthat starting different projects all at once can be more efficient, virtuallyit is proved less efficient especially when those projects have no commonrelationship. The reason is that people have to refresh their minds when shiftingbetween different missions which will deteriorate the working efficiency. Iprepared the TOEFL and GRE test at the same time, since I thought they were allEnglish and it can save a large number of energy. Nevertheless, facts provedthat my idea was too young too simple, as the TOEFL was emphasize your Englishlevel while the GRE test attached great importance on the logic and thoughts. Icould not adapt to the reviewing method when preparing them simultaneously. Ultimately,I messed them up.
Granted, completing several projectstogether can increase efficiency to certain extents, for instance I will listento English while walking to the classroom, people can wash vegetables whileboiling the water. Nonetheless, when handling important issues, I prefer tofinish them successively.
Taking all these aspects intoconsideration, I believe that accomplishing tasks in turn is better than finishthem as the same time.
作者: sherryzhangh 时间: 2012-8-13 00:30
As therhythm of people’s lifestyle becoming increasingly rapid, some people come upwith the perspective that start two or more projects at the same time can savea lot of time. However, I am not in favor of that statement, believing finish inga project completely and then begin new one is better than working on two ormore missions simultaneously. Accomplishing tasks in turn can ensure thequality and is more efficient compared with the former one.
To beginwith, finishing projects one by one can ensure the quality of the work sincewhile you are dealing with one project all the time you can concentrate on itand make fewer mistakes. Take me as an example: when I was studying in seniorhigh school, once I was working on the math homework while listening to themusic, because it was extremely enjoyable. I was shaking my head and singingsongs when calculating the formula. Then, the next day my math teacher got madon me on account of the poor quality of the homework. Thereafter, I never doother affairs while I am doing my homework such as listening to the music,watching the television. It is obvious that paying attention on single projectcan guarantee better working quality than handling much multi-works at the same time.
What’smore, although several people insist that starting different projects all atonce can be more efficient, virtually it is proved less efficient especiallywhen those projects have no common relationship.(这个能这么说吗？ 感觉别扭，但是不知道怎么替换 maybe just use " no commons"）The reason is that people haveto refresh their minds when shifting between different missions, which willdeteriorate the working efficiency. I prepared the TOEFL and GRE test at thesame time, since I thought they were all English and it can save a large numberof energy. Nevertheless, facts proved that my idea was too young naïve too simple; as the TOEFL was emphasize yourEnglish level while the GRE test attached great importance on the logic andthoughts. I could not adapt to the reviewing method when preparing themsimultaneously. Ultimately consequently,I messed them up.
Granted,completing several projects together can increase efficiency to certainextents, for instance I will listen to English while walking to the classroom,people can wash vegetables while boiling the water. Nonetheless, when handlingimportant issues, I prefer to finish them successively.
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